I unfortunately suffered from this for almost a year. It got so severe that I was convinced that i never existed at all and I became nihilistic but not negatively. I felt scared because I had no way to logic out of this situation. I felt a strange sensation that I had "crossed to the other side " whatever that meant. And i KNEW WITH CERTAINTY i was never coming back. At the same time I felt extreme peace in knowing that. Its been over a year since I recovered and I can't even understand how i really seriously believed i didn't exist. Its almost difficult to understand what was once a solid undisputable existence.

@meditationmax

Жыл бұрын

My experience with it was very nihilistic as well, where I acted however I wanted because the outcome did not matter. It caused me to be very reckless and do dangerous things that I could not understand surviving and still being alive, which made me believe even more that I was already dead. It is still a thought process that I know is a slippery slope, and to dwell on it too long would make me feel uncomfortable, so simply not thinking about it and focusing on everything else that life has to offer keeps me secure in the knowledge that I, and all of this, truly does exist :)

@aloalo3727

11 ай бұрын

@@meditationmax I never knew what nihilism was until that happened to me. I googled my symptoms and nihilism came up. I didn't do anything reckless fortunately but only because I thought this reality was kinda a game that I had to beat so I just did my "normal " routine but I certainly and absolutely thought about doing reckless things because it really didn't matter and I knew there would be no consequences because I didn't exist and I thought that even when I was at work I actually wasn't working and if a "real" person would ask my co-workers if they knew me they would not know who I was. I understand the slippery slope as well because when I first snapped out of it I felt like I was on the edge of a cliff about to fall right back into that mindset so I just refused to think about it and kept trying to move forward. Thank. U for sharing your experience with me!

@minimal3734

9 ай бұрын

I'm wondering how this 'cotard delusion' can be differentiated from the actual realization that the 'person' is in fact a construction of the mind and does not exist in a real sense. It was never alive. I realize that, but I do not perceive it as a delusion. I perceive it as realization of reality, while I recognize the idea that I, as a person, exist as a delusion.

@maresal7248

5 ай бұрын

​@@aloalo3727 hey, can we get in touch please? Do you have instagram, facebook?

When I was 15 I was in a car crash I shouldn’t have survived. About eight years later I started having some pretty severe symptoms like flashbacks. I can’t say I fully developed this delusion, but what you are describing is spookily close to what I was feeling during this time.

@meditationmax

Жыл бұрын

Thank you for sharing man, that is pretty intense so i'm not surprised it has some residual impact on you. Was it just for a brief period or does it still come back?

@Lopfff

Жыл бұрын

@@meditationmax It lasted for several years. I had this really bad therapist toward the end of this period. I was trying to explain the feeling to him. I said, “I feel like I must have actually died.” And he gave me this incredulous look and said, “What, do you think you’re a ghost?” And I knew at that moment he’d never be able to understand or help me. A delusion like this is hard to get out of, because, as you explained, it has its own logic, its own internal consistency. Of course the characters in this fantasy are going to try to talk you out of the idea that it’s a fantasy. And as I’ve said, I can’t say I was in a delusional state as you described. More of a feeling of, “I can’t have survived that car crash. Therefore, something else must be going on. I can totally imagine your own troubles, but I can only imagine them. I can’t say that I went fully delusional, only that I can totally see how it happened. Thanks so much for making the original video. Even at the nominal level I was at, it was tough. I can only guess at what it’s like to be fully sucked into it. But I can totally see how that would happen. Eventually I kind of just overcame the whole thing. I’m 51 now, quite a bit older than you are. Life has a way of making the terrors of existence more mundane, the closer you get to actual death. I hope you are not having any residual backtracking. But if you are, let me tell you, the older you get and the closer you come to the real thing, the less these kinds of terrible ideas will have a hold on you. I promise you, man

You are incredible. Thank you for sharing your story, it is immensely appreciated

@meditationmax

11 күн бұрын

Thank you for your comment. You are incredible too :)

I had a very intense near death experience and for years afterwards I had a LOT of trouble reintegrating my consciousness into this reality. Everything felt like a dream. Like I wasnt real, nothing ekse was real. Everything felt like a video game or dream almost. I knew I had died in that moment of my NDE and like yourself I felt as though I couldn't talk about this to anyone. It was extremely distressing, and I felt so alone. I am still in an existential crisis, but things are gradually feeling more real with medication and therapy.

@meditationmax

10 ай бұрын

Hey Samantha. I can understand. That level of experience can be world shattering, and when the foundations of our realities have been taken from underneath us, it can take a while to figure out how to rebuild them. But what a blessing. To realise the reality we were fed, from before we were born, was not reality. Most go their whole lives without realising. Good luck with the recovery, you will emerge into a much richer and more vibrant life.

@samanthageach3146

10 ай бұрын

Thank you so much for your compassionate response. It means a lot to me to hear stories from other who understand. It’s a very unordinary experience that leaves you feeling so alone and confused. Thank you again. My best wishes to you. Bless your heart.

@minimal3734

9 ай бұрын

I'm wondering how this 'cotard delusion' can be differentiated from the actual realization that the 'person' is in fact a construction of the mind and does not exist in a real sense. It was never alive. I realize that, but I do not perceive it as a delusion. I perceive it as realization of reality, while I recognize the idea that I, as a person, exist as a delusion.

Max it's interesting I suffer from cotards but I also have paranoid schizophrenia usually after a major episode I start to deal with cotards it's a headache when you see your own flesh rotting and don't feel the need to eat it's so hard to explain to people who haven't delt with it what it's like

@meditationmax

Жыл бұрын

My friend, thank you for sharing. I can only imagine having struggled with this whilst also suffering the visual representation of it as well. Well done for carrying on and dealing with it, speaks clear that you are strong of spirit. I do not know if you are aware, but in the south americas, amongst some indigenous populations, those who are born as the western world would class as Schizophrenic, are seen as the gifted ones who become the shaman, the healer?

@dodi-wankenobi

3 ай бұрын

⁠​⁠@@meditationmax @thedarkestmindvlogsandgame7323 aint no shaman if u antisocial …

Ive heard this kind of thinking called solipsism, without the thinking you are dead part. Just thinking this reality is all in our head. But the kybalion does say that all is mental so this might all be gods dream at bedrock reality

@meditationmax

8 ай бұрын

Yes it is a form of solipsism, which if you think about it is just the reverse of how All is One. I had got lost in believing and suffering an experience where one was all. In this way I consider this period of my life as a spiritual awakening, as it is what set me on the path to work on myself and find Spirit.

Hello Maximus, I’m in a similar situation, it’s been almost a year since I had my first panic attack, and ever since then its been a progressive decent of this. I was a normal 18 year old up until then, although i might’ve always had this predisposition in me. Can’t even look at my family while I’m speaking to them. Anyways, I hope this message reaches u and i would greatly appreciate if we could get in contact

@meditationmax

Жыл бұрын

Hey Neznim, thank you for your comment. I have just filmed myself responding to the most generally asked questions that this content has been receiving. Here is the link: kzread.info/dash/bejne/oIZ2r9iih8_SYso.html But if there is anything you would like to talk about further, then you know where I am. Take care

@minimal3734

9 ай бұрын

I'm wondering how this 'cotard delusion' can be differentiated from the actual realization that the 'person' is in fact a construction of the mind and does not exist in a real sense. It was never alive. I realize that, but I do not perceive it as a delusion. I perceive it as realization of reality, while I recognize the idea that I, as a person, exist as a delusion.

Me, everytime i overdosed on ketamine and had LSD residues crossing in…. Don’t do drugs kids.

@meditationmax

3 ай бұрын

Imagine that, but all the time, every single day, whether you're on something or not.

I believe im currently suffering from this, so this is very helpful. On a mild scale. Its a feeling I cant seem to shake off. I went on holiday to Seoul korea last year (4 months ago) on my first night i got super drunk and was lucky enough to get back to my hotel safely due to my friend, but i had alot of memory loss from the evening. Over the next few days I caught a bug and wasn't sleeping properly. On day 3 after not leaving the hotel room I confessed to my friend that i think i died ....that i died on my first night on holiday!. He laughed and told me to get outside and spend sometime in the sunshine and try to regulate my body clock. It seemed to help alot. But i keep coming back to those few days. A part of me is worried that ive died and that im either in limbo or that ive passed on and dont know it. I worry about my family having to get my body back from korea to the UK. I know its not true....but sometimes there is this weird doubt.

@meditationmax

Ай бұрын

Best thing you can do at this stage is to engage in some healthy disciplines such as yoga and meditation. Learn to be in your body and get out of your head. The more we think thoughts, the more we beleive them. Learning to be aware of our thoughts so we can quieten the chatter and change the narrative is essential.

@MarianaHidden

Ай бұрын

gosh I'm sorry you lived that it sounds so unnerving and I thought desrealization was the worst.

I suffered with cotards it was a nightmare I could barely speak for three years.I was convinced I was dead and that I was apart of the anti Christ it was terrible.The Lord Jesus has helped me tremendously prayer works but there r some days i find it hard to speak i stay in a daze a lot.Im glad u got better why do u think this happened to us?

@meditationmax

23 күн бұрын

Thank you for sharing Leah, that does sound like a real struggle for you. For me, it happened to show me the truth, that the reality I had been programmed into was not real and it took that reality being broken for me to understand what this experience really is. Like getting lost so you can find yourself. I believe this is why many of us go through these sorts of experiences, so that we may learn the truth.

So this is fascinating to me. On a few levels. From my perspective, it sounds like a classic "dark night of the souls?" do you think that aligns with your thinking on it? or is it different? I had a similiar experience but my egoic mind structure thought it was wonderful because I opened up to it all being an illusion. ALthough I took it as nothing mattered in a good way. My growth was actually did does still matter. Because until we do the purifying work we will remained trapped within the illusion and not really be free...be dragged by the thoughts and concepts as you say. Yoga and meditation also have freed me greatly. Not fully but 90 percent which im happy with atm. Im wondering your thoughts on that. Thanks for your video!

@meditationmax

Жыл бұрын

I cannot quite bring myself to say that it was a dark night of the souls, as I am not to familiar with what that entirely means. I believe that generally indicates a period of darkness in which one learns many things and comes out of it all the better, which I can definitely attribute periods of my life to that, whereas this period of my life had no learning in it. It was completely just confusion and delusion. There was nothing for me to learn, except for coming out of it, how to be free from the delusion. If dark night of the souls is anything to do with shadow work, then again, I would not say that this was shadow either, as I was not finding anything inside myself to work on. As I mentioned, I believed that I was dead, and with this there was nothing else but that. The only element that may come close to what you are saying is that, where I thought I was dead and that everything in my reality was "me", my subconscious, the truth is that I am not everything, but everything is me. I thought that I, as one, was all. When in truth, All is One. It was a time that led to a spiritual awakening, and it did allow me to disconnect from the path that the matrix would have me walking, so I do not totally disagree with your thoughts on it, but again, with other experiences in my life, there are definitely times that would fit the more classic definitions.

@HardCoreNonDuality

Жыл бұрын

@@meditationmax "he term "dark night (of the soul)" is used as referring to spiritual dryness, the absence of experiencing the presence of God, but also more generally "to describe an extremely difficult and painful period in one's life". This spiritual dryness may endure for a long time." Basically it's the darkness before the dawn. Where the soul is plunged into delusion by the one. Who guides it back by showing it everything it's not. Words are slippery fish. But I wanted to make this post basically for others questioning why this happens. My dark night was not exactly as extreme. I didn't see myself as dead. But everything as unreal. As a projection. Which is to say my hang up was more based in truth. That the world is only relatively real. Lol And my dark night was it bothered me. I wanted to find something real to hang my hat on. I discovered my own BEing. And as you say it's the one. And only the one, the projections are beautiful too now. And each passing moment is a perfected NOW. The eternity of BEing. :)

@meditationmax

Жыл бұрын

If I went by "the absence of experiencing the presence of God", then that would been most of my life before and a short while after the Cotard's Delusion! Discovering the Great Spirit only happened a few years ago. Ok, so our ideas of what that meant are pretty close then generally. But again, having had passages of time that were more accurate to that definition, I would say that in this instance it would be a no. Thank you for sharing though! It is always interesting to hear others who have had similar experiences and hopefully this space will bring in more of us to share these little chats :) And congratulations on your discovery :D

@HardCoreNonDuality

Жыл бұрын

@@meditationmax I guess my question would be, if you didnt have these "dark life shake ups" Maybe those are better words. Would you have become a seeker? Woudl the character have chosen spirituality? I feel these dark life moments are sent from the divine source. To wake us from the dream. If we had good dreams, we would never want to wake up. Dark night of the soul simply means living nightmare to me. I feel the spiritual community makes too much out of these phrases. And too much out of spirituality itself...its literally the most natural thing to wake up. We do it all the time here.

@minimal3734

9 ай бұрын

I'm wondering how this 'cotard delusion' can be differentiated from the actual realization that the 'person' is in fact a construction of the mind and does not exist in a real sense. It was never alive. I realize that, but I do not perceive it as a delusion. I perceive it as realization of reality, while I recognize the idea that I, as a person, exist as a delusion.

Really so glad you've recovered from the delusion. Wish you all the very best. 🙏🤍🙏

@meditationmax

11 күн бұрын

Me too my friend. Thank you so much, and the same to you !

Please answer so what helped you ? I’ve been suffering for about 7 months

@meditationmax

Жыл бұрын

Hi Crystal, What worked for me was a lot of work to change my life. I stripped it all back to the basics, making my life very plain and began a meditation practice, that developed into a yoga practice, and I learnt how to take power away from the thoughts that created the delusion. It took a few years, I developed the illness when I was 16, started meditating age 19 and it was around age 21/22 I could say that I was no longer suffering. I now teach all the practices that helped me turn my life around.

I have a loved one who is going through the same thing. He is 72 years old and I was wondering if you overcame this delusion without the help of medication. At any time did you stop eating and drinking?

@meditationmax

Жыл бұрын

Hi, thanks for your comment and my thoughts are with you and your loved one. With my own experience, which is in no way any advice, it was the drugs I was on that led to my delusion. Healing my mind required getting off of all drugs, and in the end it was meditation that allowed me to free myself. To recognise I am that which is having thoughts, not the thoughts themselves, allowed me to observe my internal dialogue and take the power away from my thoughts, that eventually led to the freedom from them. I cannot say there was a period where I did not eat or drink. Perhaps through self neglect there were times, but no deliberate attempt to do so.