Mark Twain said, "The worst things in my life never happened to me."

@christian84553

Ай бұрын

He also said eat a live toad first thing in the morning and nothing could possibly go worse.

@dullknifefactory

20 күн бұрын

Montaigne said that too

@unclewazza777

20 күн бұрын

The bible-What the wicked fear will fall upon them..

@unclewazza777

20 күн бұрын

@@christian84553 Ask the French about frogs.?? They turned them into a delicacy. So maybe just maybe he was onto something ,lol.

@dullknifefactory

19 күн бұрын

@@unclewazza777 Ahh money

In short, "don't turn a feeling into a story".

@marlenechicoine4005

3 ай бұрын

Don't turn a THOUGHT into a story. ?

@bonnacon1610

2 ай бұрын

@@marlenechicoine4005 I think the feelings precede the thoughts, but they're less accessible/pre-cognitive/out of awareness, so the brain tries to deal with them by turning them into ruminations or stories.

@julin8597

2 ай бұрын

Our brain can really form narratives

@letsreadtextbook1687

2 ай бұрын

But that's how I cope

@alexandra2536

2 ай бұрын

If we don't have a story it means we will not do the introspection and we will avoid something. This is a symptom of narcissism. We'd better say "don't turn a feeling into a BAD story".

We suffer more in imagination than in reality. --Seneca

@user-im8xw6xh1l

3 ай бұрын

Love this!! ❤❤👍👍👍

@barrym3651

3 ай бұрын

@@user-im8xw6xh1l some suffer more in reality than imagination

@Heyu7her3

3 ай бұрын

No, I actually suffer more in reality... that's why I daydream

@fly_you_fools

3 ай бұрын

Bullshit. I never imagine being beaten and strangled by my husband.

@tobe-you-tube6612

2 ай бұрын

That's so naive and unrealistic 😂

I heard it said, 'Don't believe everything you think.' 😮

@unclewazza777

2 ай бұрын

The bible and other philosophical teachings say that you must bring you thought life into captivity. Because your mind has a will of its own. Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things.

@atheistbewildered2987

2 ай бұрын

That’s wrong. Validate everything you think

@unclewazza777

2 ай бұрын

@@atheistbewildered2987 What principles are you validating you thoughts on.???

@sparklemotion8377

2 ай бұрын

Sure, gaslight yourself. But then again I did lie to myself by thinking people liked me as much as I liked them or hard work and honesty will earn me respect.

@MP-ut6eb

2 ай бұрын

​​​@@sparklemotion8377 oh dear, giving up did me no good too you know? Guess what the gaslighting you did to yourself is better than me saying "Dude you are a failure just stop trying" I think it's a better approach to life just not trusting the thoughts of the brain. But hardworking, honesty and being a good human being as a recipe to live a life? Hell yeah. Keep your head up!

I'm so depressed. I have no one. I need to move from a toxic living situation but I have financial anxiety about doing that. And so depressed its so hard to function. No one to be there for me.

@kathleenwilson4631

3 ай бұрын

I'm sorry you are feeling so low with depression. Perhaps reach out to someone like a Doctor. Or Get a referral to Counsellor. I do hope you receive the help you need to start feeling better and able to cope with your problem.Best wishes xx

@MarciaB12

3 ай бұрын

@gazelle3635 you couldn't have said it better. I'm in the same situation. It IS my fault. I made my bed and now I have to live in it. I want a magic wand. 😢

@MarciaB12

3 ай бұрын

​@@koskap35if u don't have financial means and you are older there are not as many choices.

@user-im8xw6xh1l

3 ай бұрын

I'd LOVE to know what I "did wrong?!" I'm 53 years-old. I had a nice life until I got long haul Covid and had to move in with my parents. My father and I don't get along. Three years ago he started recording me on my phone. Just 'cuz. One day I tried to grab the phone out of his hand and my fingernail scratched him, making him BARELY bleed. He actually called the police on me. Since he's 77 years-old they deemed it ELDER ABUSE. I've been going to court now for THREE YEARS. I can't find a job. I can't even volunteer anywhere. So now I'm literally STUCK living with him.... can't find work. Have no money. My car just died on me. I've had depression and anxiety my whole life. This isn't making it better and I'm at a loss...

@Avaaaw

3 ай бұрын

Same, friends! I’m stuck in a very toxic situation. Had to move back to my narcissistic mother and enabler of a dad bc of being BROKE! I literally considered going into prostitution so I don’t have to go back to the birth place of all my traumas but then I was like: yeah no. It’s so unfair that money controls our lives and influences our destiny. There are solutions but they are not the ones we would like. I guess the first step to get out of that 💩 is to first find a job where we are, even if it’s flipping burgers 12 hours a day. And find ways to cope with the stuff that makes us feel good (for me it’s music and watching musicals). You’ll feel so much better if you just leave the house during the day!!! Toxicity is like a rampant fungus. The more you’re around, the more it grows on you. And in you!!!

The worst thing is when we not only believe the stories we tell ourselves and make ourselves feel worse but when they become our identities and we don't know who we are without them. Then healing becomes a real challenge.

@unclewazza777

2 ай бұрын

Is that like when feeling good and positive is a foreign feeling.??

@juggles5474

2 ай бұрын

And then we actually reinforce those stories through our behavior and choices

@beatrice948

2 ай бұрын

And this is exactly where I am

@unclewazza777

2 ай бұрын

@@juggles5474 It takes approx 28 days to form a habit that can last a life time. Evern if you break the physical habit it can take another 30 days to break the physiological habit. but if that habit has been linked to dopamine response.?? up to a year to reprogram and replace with positive habits. And for a lot of guys doing it by themselves, that's a up hill battle.

@SSmith-wy8un

2 ай бұрын

But it's possible! ❤

Don't gaslight yourself. Trust what's true for you.

@rachaelp8998

3 ай бұрын

Beautifully put 🤗

@jackdavies2662

3 ай бұрын

But how when the things I tell myself about myself are true? 🙃

@Mushroom321-

3 ай бұрын

The brain CAN / will lie from emotional wound !! 😑😑 🙄

@Mushroom321-

3 ай бұрын

& KNOW WHAT gaslighting is!!, when it happens it could be easy to not notice !!

@not-a-cupid-stunt

3 ай бұрын

Easier said than done sometimes, especially when the 'truthful' things you've been told to believe about yourself for essentially your whole life turn out to be nothing but hot air & false convictions, with the only recompense available from that point of realisation onwards to try to be successful, because you sure as hell aren't going to receive an apology from anyone...mostly because the bulk of people, due to 'common sense', still seem to think you're faulty. Oh well, and as they say, it is what it is...which fortunately I know I'm not any longer, even if many others don't agree.

These videos have done more for me than therapy ever did.

@dalejones9150

3 ай бұрын

I hope that these videos truly help you. For me though I'm currently doing ACT treatment with the VA and my therapist is the best I've ever had and I have more hope today than ever. I find these and other videos are a supplement for me during this time in therapy and I think they'll continue in that role post therapy. My point here isn't to argue with you but to say find what works for you and keep searching for your path to healing. I like these videos too and it's no surprise to hear others out there like and find them helpful as well. I'm feeling hopeful this morning and I hope you're feeling good and wish you well on your continued healing.

@williamwallace5367

3 ай бұрын

@@dalejones9150 that's great! I'm glad things are working out for you and that your mental health is improving.

@unclewazza777

2 ай бұрын

@@dalejones9150 Many don't because like myself they feel its to late and they are to old. I don't know how you do it bro. I get on edge and dangerous when talking about the past and personal issues. For me that's up close and personal. Knife fighting territory.

@Manticorn

2 ай бұрын

Every therapist is different. This one always makes a lot of sense to me in ways that others haven't. It's just the luck of the draw.

@dalejones9150

Ай бұрын

​@@unclewazza777I can assure you that there are still many days for me that I'm sure I'm NOT doing it. But my therapist keeps reminding me to take credit for the things I'm doing right and keep working baby steps toward truly living my values. I'm glad to be having this conversation and I hope it finds you well today.

"being a pemissimic, cowardly worse case scenario negative person is an evolutionary necessity and defense mechanism" holy shit... you're so right. My mind is blown. I feel so validated, thank you ❤️

@GingerBiPolarBear

3 ай бұрын

Such a great way of describing my brain 😂. I do try not to be that person, but my brain just does not want to comply.

@DrScottEilers

3 ай бұрын

“Why am I the way that I am?” “Because one long winter my great great great grandfather didn’t store enough potatoes.”

@GingerBiPolarBear

3 ай бұрын

@@DrScottEilers or one long winter my great great great grandfather did store enough potatoes while those around him didn't 😁. In my case my great great great (maybe another great or two) grandfather moved to South Africa for his breathing problems. Guess who now has breathing problems?

@claireschweizer4765

3 ай бұрын

@@GingerBiPolarBear SAME

@charliesmith_

3 ай бұрын

Being a 'VINO' is a real CON thing, for narcs, (they're 'Victims' In Name Only.)

I'm having a depressive episode and I'm so angry at myself because I want to succeed so badly and I'm so close, but I'm falling apart at the finish line.

@amberc3728

2 ай бұрын

❤

@ZeCahli

Ай бұрын

Push harder. You are RIGHT THERE. Push on, my friend. You deserve happiness.

@internetboy.0511

18 күн бұрын

real

@simoneconde5564

8 күн бұрын

You and me both, friend. I hope you're doing better than when you wrote this comment. If not, I hope we can both get better soon ❤

When I broke up with my ex, even as the instigator, I really struggled with the fallout afterwards. I wrote a list of all the stories I was telling myself, as well as things he had said about me that were untrue. I then followed each item up with the objective reality. For example: "I have nothing left in my life and I can't live without this person." "Reality: I have a successful job, friends, people who love me, hobbies, passions, interests, and good habits. I am the same fantastic person that entered this relationship 15 months ago, and I am still that person; I just need to rediscover the things about me that I love." I wrote down every story as it entered my head. The list was so long. When a story reappeared in my head, I would read what I'd written, and effectively reinforce the reality rather than the story. Highly recommend this practice.

@solotravelerjessica

15 күн бұрын

Thanks for sharing

@cambrie7946

10 күн бұрын

Thank you so much for this advice.

I told myself stories for years that I was unlikeable based on a few instances of dysregulated CPTSD that haunted me. These were stories years ago people forgot even happened. When I stopped telling them, the stories stopped.

@Mushroom321-

3 ай бұрын

🎉🎉congrats !!! I / we matter !! 😊

@sparklemotion8377

2 ай бұрын

And now you're the pied piper and draw crowds wherever you go?

@yura2424

14 күн бұрын

What did he say at 0:54 ? It's horrible. Is he a real doctor?

As a habitual over-thinker, it will be great to get some helpful strategies.🙉

@pickledherring8759

3 ай бұрын

Yes, very useful! Thanks so much, Doctor!😊

@janetslicer3637

3 ай бұрын

I am always over thinking everything to the point of distraction. It is very annoying to others, but I think I have to do it so I make sure I get things right. Kinda like OCD added on.

@pickledherring8759

3 ай бұрын

@@janetslicer3637 Oh, that can be a difficult one. Mine is more anxiety-based, and random thoughts or thoughts about what I'm afraid to do. Ugh! I hope these strategies can help us both.😊❤️

@janetslicer3637

3 ай бұрын

@@pickledherring8759 I am sorry, but I did laugh out loud when I saw your name "pickled herring." Thank you for your comment, I appreciate it but I loved your name even more! ♥️

@pickledherring8759

3 ай бұрын

@@janetslicer3637 🤣 No sorry needed! I picked it because it does sound kind of silly, even though it's a real thing. Never had it myself, just heard it before and sounded like a good username. Glad I made you laugh! 😄 ♥️

I’m 31 and have never been in a serious relationship. Unsurprisingly, this has caused me to draw some pretty negative conclusions about my datability and overall self worth. When my family started making comments expressing their doubt at the prospect of my finding a wife, it validated all my doubts and fears in the worst way possible and led to it being the main driver of my depressive episodes, which usually revolved around the broader theme of feeling like a failure/behind in life in several aspects. My father said something about it being particularly important for me to stay in good shape since I’m probably not gonna have kids to look out for me in my old age. That comment threw me off the deep end into a depressive episode that lasted for weeks. I say this to illustrate the point that words, no matter how untrue can impact you very deeply , and this goes triple for people who struggle with depression.

@user-ek7yc9fh7y

3 ай бұрын

I'm very sorry that happened. Those comments from your family are very hurtful. Some people find their partner later in life. Men can have kids until they are much older.

@Hafhafnhaf

2 ай бұрын

IMO comments made by parents and family drive deep into us and are hard to see or iradicate because they sound like our own thoughts.

@alenaadamkova7617

2 ай бұрын

Some Czech psychologist noticed a thing about gender problem. He had some client who transitioned twice in 4 years, from a man to a woman and then from woman to a man. The psychologist learned from him that he hated his male body, being a male. He found out. The main reason of this problem, is that children feel un-accepted in both systems: 1. Children feel - unseen in the family system - unheard - unaccepted 2. Children feel - unseen in the education/school system - unheard - unaccepted If kids feel un-seen, un-heard and un-accepted at home but also in school, it leads to some kind of low self-worth, and the kid is not able to accept himself or herself. Therefore it leads to self-harming, and feeling lack, not knowing who I am, what is my purpose in life etc. ---------- From these conversations we may understand important things. So people start talking to your kids in genuine way, (not what some television told you, but what your intuition tells you) so: 1. they feel seen 2. they feel heard 3. they feel accepted Don´t force them to do football professionaly, if they love math and science, don´t force them to do math and science, if they love football or baseball listen what makes them most passionate, what profession is making them most happy, make them feel they are loved accepted etc. Because if you force child to do something else, they feel un-worthy, they feel like they failed, because they are prohibited to do things that they love doing. And we may be almost certain that if a school or parent is forcing the child to be certain way, and not have their own thinking process and passion for something, it means that the parents were raised the same way when growing up, therefore they treat their kids that way..... .... they were unheard unseen unaccepted, when they followed their passion and purpose, in their teen-hood etc. So tell your parents with compassion and empathy I know you have your own agenda, because you were raised that way, you were forced to think certain way but I know what is my passion, my true purpose.

@ryster2220

2 ай бұрын

@@alenaadamkova7617 I appreciate your insight and advice, and I'm not discounting its merit, but in my case the family condemnation only amplifies the agony because I'm already fixated and beat myself up over "missing the mark" on the areas of my life that they criticize me for. It's not that our agendas are mismatched, they want the same things for me that I want for myself already. The perpetually single problem is one of several of which are not worth getting into here, but my single problem comes up the most and feels the most time-sensitive which amplifies the anxiety surrounding it. It's usually the catalyst that opens the floodgates into prolonged negative thinking, and hyper-analyzing my entire life through the lens of "you're a failure". I go down the "where did I go wrong" rabbit hole a lot which I know isn't a productive thing to do, but we can't always help how we feel about ourselves.

@klanderkal

2 ай бұрын

Yes, and with depression it's 10x worse.!! I'm suffering terribly also...🙏

What you describe is how bullies work, they literally manipulate someone into causing problems for themselves. There's no sugarcoating it, bullies are evil. Bystanders also have a role, if they showed in no uncertain terms that bullying won't be tolerated in their midst, it would rarely happen as all bullies are bed wetters who wouldn't dare attack anyone without support. When onlookers ignore or show support for bullies they are giving the bully their approval whether they want to or not.

It seems like a lot of times peoples personal trauma is invalidated by other people. What I mean is that people often seem to say things that make it not ok to feel bad about some event. Like "there is always a person out there who suffered a really bad trauma and so since theirs was so much worse your trauma isnt valid". It's almost like human competitiveness about who is the bigger victim. Well, I get the feeling that our brains and bodies dont really recognize so much the extent or degree ones residual trauma as a result of an external event. But rather something bad happens, we feel trauma, and that feeling is not necessarily proportional to the degree of the bad event. For example, does it hurt more or less to loose a job with a $20 / hour pay check or a $40/ hour pay check... In other words, it doesn't hurt twice as much.... Another example, Does it hurt more to be divorced or widowed? Does a 20 marriage ended hurt 10x more than the ending of a 2 year marriage? I dont think the brain and body recognizes the extent of a bad feeling proportionally. Therefore: Since A person who fails an important test in school may be experiencing as much pain and sorrow, in a physical sense, in a moment, as a person who was just had a spouse die or that the degree of the loss may not be proportionally reflected in the level of pain experienced. A persons pain is valid regardless of the degree of the trauma that caused it. I just dont know how to say it in English right.

@ZeCahli

Ай бұрын

Beautiful display of humanity and compassion right here. Wish more people were like you; never change.

Practical, non-patronising, no-bullshit, articulate, highly intelligent professional. I'm running out of space from bookmarking all your videos!

@Hafhafnhaf

2 ай бұрын

I agree

Our mind/heart/every cell “hear” everything we tell ourselves

@klanderkal

2 ай бұрын

So true. I've found out. I blame myself for foolishly retiring from the career job I really loved!. I got anxiety and depression from this, and told myself with passion, how much I hated myself. Using the most hateful words.! I don't like anything anymore, not even hobbies I used to enjoy. It's like I hate myself so much now. I'm unable to forgive myself for all the mistakes ive made in my life. Im living in misery. Your comment was true. 😢

@truffaut650truffaut6

2 ай бұрын

​@@klanderkalyou were dancing into a depression. Get out of there. Now. Better your life. Stop crying.

@klanderkal

2 ай бұрын

@@truffaut650truffaut6 Thanks, If there were a switch to turn off the pain , and suffering, Anxiety sucks, insomnia sucks, depression Sucks!I would have flicked the switch months ago. I didn't know . I thought everyday would be like " a day off".. I was wrong. 3 weeks after, days off weren't fun anymore. I wanted to go back to my routes, passengers, coworkers. I lost my purpose, identity , etc. Depression is so horrible.! It takes all desires to do anything . And , for example .. I loved to get coffee, workout, and go swimming EVERYDAY. With depression ... I lost interest and enjoyment for all. I don't even enjoy TV , music anymore???!!!. It's so unbearable living like this. I WISH, I could just be normal as I was, doing the activities and hobbies I used to enjoy., and enjoying my young adult children , and friends, neighbors as before! ... I want to snap out of this. I was told I'm grieving. My mental and physical health are declining too...! I don't want that either. But,... the illness of depression just don't dissappear. I tried working out last week, but didn't enjoy and felt uncomfortable with no interest .. I went to the beach to try my swim as before. I wasn't even happy to be there??, I tried to swim... and just stopped, had no pleasure , or drive. That's how bad this depression is. I ruined my life by retiring from a job I loved of 30 years. I was institutionalized, and didn't know it.

@priscillawrites6685

17 күн бұрын

@@klanderkal careful about people who blame and punish. Unnecessary and harmful. You have reached the end of a difficult chapter. There are better things ahead, even if you don’t know what they are. Deep in the truest place of your heart you have the seeds of self-forgiveness. Be patient and kind with yourself as if you were an injured kitten. Nurture yourself. Sometime soon you will find the new life you were meant to live. Set the foundation - healthy food, no smoking-alcohol-drugs. Get adequate sleep, with affirmations of goodness in your mind. We all make mistakes. Forgive yourself for being imperfect. You are human, after all. You are on this planet to find the truest goodness of yourself. You will find that in time. I speak from experience. Been where you are. There is peace and goodness waiting for you. ♥️♥️♥️

@klanderkal

17 күн бұрын

@priscillawrites6685 Thank you so much... I really appreciate your kind words. I'm still suffering from the loss of my job, and all it meant to me. Having hard time sleeping still. The anxiety/insomnia and depression... still remain a horrible factor. I'm still trying to be able to leave the apt. This whole situation really caused damage to my mental health. I've talked with professionals. They can only try and have me reframe the incident and work on my cognitive distortions. I'm personally devastated . I feel my life has ended, and in some ways it has. I'm so upset with myself. But, you are correct. I need to forgive, and try to find a way.. to move on. My health has been declining, my thoughts are so negative, and my vibration levels are at the lowest. Lost too much weight also. If I can break these illnesses... I have a chance. Thank you. You're words are encouraging 💙💐⚘️

God, every single thing you said is going on in my head. I can’t imagine believing that I’m not a broken mess.

@amac6483

3 ай бұрын

Me too.

@ciggytwiggy

2 ай бұрын

Case in point - don't feed into the story

When my husband left me after 20 happy years for a woman half my age (I was 10 years older than him), when I asked him why he said "if you don't know I'm not going to tell you." What a cop-out. This was the big trauma that changed my whole life.

@ak-47intelligence75

3 ай бұрын

It's better off not knowing anyway.

@RollYOUrD1ce

2 ай бұрын

You are correct.

@MelModica

2 ай бұрын

I’m sorry people seriously suck!

@sandrawright8109

2 ай бұрын

Let's see how long that lasts.....

@globyzeroivy

2 ай бұрын

shut up ​@@unclewazza777

I have had a lifelong history of trauma and due to that I have no self esteem, think everyone hates me, and am very emotional. I have a persecutory complex and cannot see the good in anything.i also have multiple chronic illnesses that have left me disabled and my life is not mine anymore.

My psychiatrist called me out on the negative stories I tell myself just this morning. It was hard to hear, but she was right. I keep thinking I can't overcome my anxiety and depression because "Im different from everyone else." "I'm a freak." "There's something wrong with me..." What you're saying, and more importantly, what I can actually take in, is that my distress is NOT MY FAULT. It's due to things that happened to me when I was too small to push back. Thank you so much for this. I just found your channel - what a gift. Your compassion and wisdom shine through.

Stay in the feeling, really feel it, without adding any storyline to it.

@yura2424

14 күн бұрын

0:54 Is he really a doctor?

Wow. Yes, as a seven year old not allowed to go to the next grade...I was a 'failure'. For nearly seventy years it unfolded as you say. Self rejection, the inability to acknowledge most successes, a pattern of quitting just before completing a task, etc. Your examples are crystal clear for me...and helpful. I have notes on all of the suggested strategies; and will add them to my skillset. Thanks.

@claireschweizer4765

3 ай бұрын

That's horrible I'm sorry that happened to you... What a fucked up system... we're not failures! ❤️

@charliesmith_

3 ай бұрын

Don't believe everything you tell yourself. You're only repeating inherited other people's personal denial

@ReneeRose666

3 ай бұрын

God bless you ❤

@tamarakaddatz9955

3 ай бұрын

For me, it was 4th grade and I'm nearly 60. @stevec404 I haven't finished watching and those statements ring true to me as I'm self reflecting this weekend & throughout Spring.

My family of origin is in a cult, and scapegoats. I had to cut them off to find some happiness. Now my kids are older and they have fallen for my families scapegoating and now I have nobody in my life. Days away from 57 and coming out of a narcissistic relationship and realizing this was also my mother who was the focalizer of the scapegoating. So the message when I look externally is it’s all me, I’m just fucked up, and all external messages says it’s all me. I can’t get anyone to tell me why I am the issue. It’s so lonely I was ok staying with the narcissist abuse until I can’t and now it just feels hopeless all the way around. On top of all of that I have subjected myself to all kinds of real physical trauma and death as a medic for 20 years and then a hospice nurse during Covid. I used my pain to connect with others in pain, and while it was a great help to them, it’s all I have now.

@a007girl

7 күн бұрын

This is my story. I have no contact with my family because they are narcissists and I was a nurse. I have started going to Adult children of alcoholics and it's been very helpful. You are in my prayers and are loved. Thank you for sharing and letting me know I'm not alone in this.

@maryneal428

3 күн бұрын

Struggling to find words of comfort for you. Would love to talk with you but KZread will delete contact information. I have spent my life avoiding people. Very successful at it as well. No doubt I missed out. Avoiding pain was my objective. Happy thoughts to you. Let me know how you are. Mary

Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.

@Jennifer-bw7ku

2 ай бұрын

Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!

@APOLLINAIREBARTHOLOMIEU

2 ай бұрын

Yes, dr.sporessss I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.

@elizabethwilliams6651

2 ай бұрын

I wish they were readily available in my place. Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac. He's constantly talking about killing someone. He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.

@Jennifer-bw7ku

2 ай бұрын

Is he on instagram?

@APOLLINAIREBARTHOLOMIEU

2 ай бұрын

Yes he is. dr.sporessss

Your approach to mental health is so refreshing and honest. And i cannot tell you how much it meant to me to hear a mental health doctor say he didn't like being alive all the time and that he had to work at feeling good about existence. I cannot tell you how validating that was ❤

I have ocd, hocd, pocd. I just left a store anxious because I felt I couldn’t be normal around kids. I hate this anxiety and when I am this anxious it’s hard to think normally, guess my phone was listening to me talk to myself about this …

@ajo7009

21 күн бұрын

I also have OCD, and I am so sorry you're dealing with those thoughts. Hang in there. I think for people with OCD, we need to learn to not take our own thoughts and feelings too seriously. (Easier said than done.) You've got this!

O my god I’ve never seen anyone hit it on the head like you do. Everything I’ve heard you say on each video is what I needed to understand all my life. Im 70 now, and have had to learn most everything you’re saying, oh so painfully. You verbalize e everything that is in hundreds of pages of my journal writing over the years, trying to figure things out so I can stand to be alive.

@user-xg7fr5xq9h

3 ай бұрын

I am 75 I agree 100%. Thank you Scott from the bottom my heart

@klanderkal

2 ай бұрын

Me too.!! I'm suffering so horribly, everything he said, and why. Is me. I have depression and anxiety, which makes it worse. Im,... in a very dark place in my life now.... 😢

I'm out of words (and that doesn't happen often 😅). Thank you for this video and thank you for this channel. You almost always make me smile or even laugh. Please, don't ever change your style of telling stories and explaining things. 🤗 It's something... I don't know... It makes me feel understood (even though the information goes the other way round). And that is a rare experience for me, to really feel understood. I think it has something to do about your sense of humour and all that. I'm not even depressed (I think 😂) but I get so much from your videos. ❤

@DrScottEilers

3 ай бұрын

I really appreciate you saying this

I am actually genuinely trapped in a situation I cannot escape.

@wavvsfr

2 ай бұрын

this is how i feel also, but we can escape.

@mattb1568

2 ай бұрын

Are you in danger or what’s going on?

@toure8

29 күн бұрын

a situation I put myself in not knowing how severe it would become

Thank you...yes, I am definitely my own worst enemy! YES, everything is a crisis...unfortunately.

I've been in therapy for more than a decade and I have blamed myself for a long time for not getting better. Because I was given skills that I just couldn't use or that my emotions and beliefs and thoughts managed to render useless. I always thought there was something wrong with me because these therapists seemed unable to help with these obstacles. They only knew how to teach the therapy, not troubleshoot it. Or maybe they really thought I just wasn't trying hard enough-something I believed and sometimes still believe about myself. Seeing my current therapist has turned that on its head because she's the first one to directly tell me otherwise. She does DBT, in which therapists are taught that therapy doesn't fail clients, therapists do. That concept is something I still find hard to believe but even the possibility my continued suffering isn't my fault or due to an innate flaw has offered a lot of relief.

This could not have come at a more critical time for me, thank you! I will watch it repeatedly during my personal crisis just now.

This is why the manifesting community can be so dangerous. Some will tell you (especially under the Neville Goddard banner) that you create your reality so all of those horrible experiences of rejection and abandonment were created by YOU. “I believed he’d reject me so he did.” Instead of empowering me, that “everyone is you pushed out” BS sent me into an even worse depression thinking that I attracted this into my life and am responsible for EVERYTHING.

@claireschweizer4765

3 ай бұрын

Yeah..."self fulfilling prophecy" I hate that idea.."you don't believe in yourself, so that means you won't succeed." If this was true I'd have never succeeded at anything, I'm surprised I have a job because I didn't think I was capable or competent...I hated myself then and still do now, but that really didn't change the fact that I marched into that restaurant, introduced myself, and inquired about a position, and now I'm bussing tables working twice a week and my boss is the best in the world! I have skills and people tell me I'm a hard worker.

@RachelAnnie

3 ай бұрын

@@claireschweizer4765 I still struggle with hating myself so I feel you there. But yes, I still got what I wanted for the most part in life, partly due to hard work, partly due to the few friendships I’ve had, despite feeling awful about myself. There are kind people in this world and not so kind people and my powers of “manifestation” have nothing to do with that. Yes I can control my reactions and my “story” as Scott said, but I didn’t create my childhood trauma.

@Heyu7her3

3 ай бұрын

​@@claireschweizer4765 believing in yourself & hearing yourself are two separate things & exist on their own spectra. one who doesn't believe in themselves at all wouldn't even consider applying for the job because that don't see any efficacy. you believe more than you believe you do.

@charliesmith_

3 ай бұрын

When the allied troops entered Dachau camp they fed the people in there all the wrong food. Their unskilled food program-kindness killed more than it saved. Everything useful can only be absorbed one 'bitesized piece' at a time.

@claireschweizer4765

3 ай бұрын

@@RachelAnnie Exactly ❤️

WoW. Thank you. I stressed badly for weeks, trying to prevent from loosing my career job that i really loved for decades. Once i lost it... i went into a shock. I couldn't handle it. I got Anxiety, insomnia,.. and severe depression. I don't like anything in life now?, i don't enjoy activities or hobbies i once enjoyed. I ruminate 24/7 on my mistakes for not having my job anymore. I have extreme guilt, and self blame/hate. Im really suffering every dsy. I don't like living anymore. ( cannot believe im like this ).... im unable to snap out of this.

@cristinabhatia9296

2 ай бұрын

I am sorry this happened to you. Please try to remember that you are still you, with all the skills, the talent and the dedication that someone else will value. There is absolutely no one who never made a mistake or a bunch of them, the difference is that some get anyway with shit easier than others. And that is some reality I still struggle to accept, because I never get anyway with anything.

@klanderkal

2 ай бұрын

@cristinabhatia9296 Thank you... appreciate those words. I'm unable to accept my mistake, because it threw away my life. I just want back the daily routines I had. I loved getting ready for work, going to work in my classic car , hanging out with all my coworkers and friends, then,.. getting my Bus,, and starting my routes, picking up my passengers,.! I have horrible depression now. I really feel I ended my life, by foolishly retiring,.. just because a couple of my friends were, and they convinced me to join them..... that was so stupid of me.

@cristinabhatia9296

2 ай бұрын

@@klanderkal I saw my dad going through something similar when he had to go into early retirement because of some health issues. His whole world was at work, he was even raising cats and a dog at the small factory he worked at. The only way I could help was to keep him hopeful about the future and keep him making plans by buying a piece of land outside the city and starting to build a small house with a garden. I am not saying you should do exactly the same, I was thinking about something you always wanted to do, but never had the time or the energy for. Like volunteering for something you are passionate about. Have you tried something like that?

@klanderkal

2 ай бұрын

@@cristinabhatia9296 Thank you for replying and caring 🙏, I went into deep depression. I cannot handle not working at my job. I have really no interest in doing anything else. Depression stole my hopes, dream's, desires away. I've never volunteered b4. Sorry to say, my job and hobbies were my life. Now, in my mental state, I somehow lost interests in all my beloved hobbies and activities. I'm a VW' fanatic since high school, many of my coworkers are the same, ... We all get together, work on our bugs, hangout at work, etc.. Now. , I don't even drive it, nor have interest in putting in New motor we built, or the race tranny I had for it. I just can't believe., how my life completely changed... 180. It's unbearable to live life without my job life. And... the mental illnesses it's brought on. Sorry for all this dread and negativity. T.Y.💐

@kainixfeather723

2 ай бұрын

Start asking yourself what is this trying to teach me, not why is this happening to me❤ things that seem dark may be happening for us to discover parts of ourselves we couldn’t see before. Blessss❤ That helps sometimes

I didn't realize I had been telling myself a story about things that had happened a few times to me, and that I was fully expecting them to happen again. And of course, it would be because of a deficiency in me! The analogy of "celebrity deaths" was very effective. Great point, and explanation , about how we immediately blame ourselves for other's mood, actions, etc. Appreciated the explanation about why our brains seem to lean toward the negative; I'd never thought about that possibility. As all your videos, this is packed with helpful perspectives. Thank you, and I hope you feel better soon!

I’m so desperate for change…what I want and feel capable of are worlds apart. This is so tremendously relatable.

Stories we tell ourselves. We have a great deal of evidence and personal experiences to support these, whether they are positive or negative. We’ve known ourselves a long time. We know our flaws and our strengths.

@DrScottEilers

3 ай бұрын

We are also the most biased sources of information on the topic of ourselves and have potentially collected every shred of “evidence” from a place of confirmation bias about the accuracy of things we already believed or have been told

@gefleigh4264

3 ай бұрын

I look at life the same way !from the age of 7 I lost all desire to have any ambition it was slapp out ot me,I remember every negative event and often, any conversation word for word, At the age of 67 I now have time to look back over a loser, life. Would have, should have ,cou have,?I can't wait to move on and take 2.

I am really struggling. Have tried everything

@stewartkatz6119

3 ай бұрын

I have tried so many strategies but I am really struggling. I really do not know what to do. I don’t know how much more I can cope.

@Itsokayyyyyyy

3 ай бұрын

I feel the same way, i feel so tired. I don't know how much i can sustain

@111...

3 ай бұрын

​@@stewartkatz6119 Hi. Me, too. I just TOLD ( not asked! TOLD!) my primary care doctor to refer me to a psychologist & FAST! And in meantime, I texted 988 & they have a telechat & calling, too. It's THE crisis line in U.S. ...are you in U.S.? I am not kidding, I'm going to get 988 tattooed on me! They're very helpful 💙

@111...

3 ай бұрын

​@@stewartkatz6119 also, do you have a friend or anyone you trust? Can you ask them to just listen, I mean, really hear you? Even if all you can manage is to tell someone you're really struggling, it's a HUGE step forward for you & I swear it's so worth it. And YOU are worth it 💙 You are not alone, though it may feel so. But I promise, you're not. Please reach out? And please let me know that you have or will, please? We both can get help & support 💙💙💙

@stevec404

3 ай бұрын

@@stewartkatz6119 - This from a fellow sufferer...and survivor. "Never quit - Never surrender" (Galaxy Quest). Binge this mans channel. Whatever your core situation is, there are fantastic channels like this one to open our minds to the truth...and educate as to strategies for improvement.

Don't believe everything you think. Question it. What else could be the reason? Still learn and be brave. But even through that show yourself love.❤❤❤

@Heyu7her3

3 ай бұрын

But then that leads to rumination

@PJB-To-be

3 ай бұрын

@@Heyu7her3 Considering painful situations is not ruminating. It's healing so you can benefit and let go💖

Newish job. I feel like I know my job pretty good after 90 days but my trying hasn’t been good, there’s no written work flows in a folder or online. 90 day review didn’t go well but they extended my probation another 30 days, about when the other girl comes back from maternity leave. I had everything riding on this job to get my life back together, now it’s hard to even motivate myself to brush and floss my teeth (I do it) I stopped doing everything else and going places. But today I did apply for another job.. I’m trying but I’m so tired. I’m worried I will just collapse at this job not because of the job itself but the heavy scrutiny and criticism from my supervisor and fear about my mounting debt. I sat in my car in the parking lot just staring at the cement wall filled with dread at the idea of going in.

@suebehr507

2 ай бұрын

Good for you on applying for another job!! That’s really difficult to do when going through what you’re currently experiencing. Give yourself credit for still taking care of yourself even when you don’t feel like it. I hope your employment situation is looking up and your anxiety level has gone down. Hang in there!

@wileyann9449

2 ай бұрын

@@suebehr507 thank you. I should know something in the next week or so about this job, but now I’m wondering if I even want to stay in it. I have a 2nd interview with the other job I applied for. It’s far from here and I’ll likely have to take a pay cut and have roommates but it might be worth it to be a part of a team that actually wants me there.

@amg9163

2 ай бұрын

@wileyann9449 I read the comments you posted with interest. I took a job about 15 months ago. It was the first of two offers I got in the same week. Since I accepted the first one before the second offer came in, I felt it was wrong to renege and go for the second job. It was one of the few times I did not follow my gut when I really should have. My 1year review was so bad, they put me on a *_"performance improvement plan"_* (PIP), which is a sign of soon to be fired. It's eating at me because I've been in my industry for over 30 years, have been successful in all previous jobs, but this current manager refused to see my value. Over the last few months, I have worked 60+ hour weeks, and am exhausted from trying and being annoyed. So ready to throw in the towel, but I have a mortgage (over $2k monthly) that I cannot afford and selling the house, which could be an option to recover some $, will take long to sell and actually get money in hand. It sucks because I wanted to retire in my early-mid 50s, but during Covid, the company where I was had mass layoffs and I'm back financially where I was in 2005. But then I ask myself _"how much are my happiness and sanity worth?"_ I hope your job search was fruitful and you're in a better situation. 🤞🏼

@passinthru4788

23 күн бұрын

Stay until they let you go, most likely when the maternity leave person returns. Apply for unemployment and take a break for 26 weeks to work out a new employment arrangement. You need rest! Take the opportunity if given to you. Best Wishes!

@wileyann9449

23 күн бұрын

@@passinthru4788 I ended up packing up and heading off to another state this Friday. I think my supervisor was just hoping I’d have a breakdown. Other girl has not come back and they don’t know when she will.

The problem with this advice is sometimes there are some situations that you can't just think your way out of. Sometimes instead of trying to find answers, learn the art of detachment and letting go

Of myself, though difficult health issues, I have discovered I am continually drawn into other peoples crises, whatever their crisis is, and they will make their crisis, my crisis. I am absolutely exhausted with difficult people unloading their $hit on me. I have been successful overall in putting down boundaries and sticking to them, but close family living with me, continues to be a drain. I desperately need to get a handle on this close relationship because their illness is not my illness nor crisis to bear.

why am i constantly overthinking? these past few months i feel like i’ve been plagued with some sort of illness reassuring delusions and convincing myself that thinking the worst of any situation is the actual reality. i can’t escape this and i’m so desperate to just let it go..

@easysae

17 күн бұрын

❤

@misslogical90

14 күн бұрын

To let go: Do you have total control over whether or not you get sick? No, obviously lol All you have control of is living as healthily as possible and hoping to not get sick, and your reaction if you do get sick, and how you'll go about treatment if you do get sick. Otherwise there is no control and no way to obtain total control. That's how we let go is by understanding that and reminding ourselves of it. 👍♥️

Mom survived the Holocaust. She was in danger for years. My both brothers died from Muscular Dystrophy. They were declining and died. So I have left over anxiety from all that.

@StephA21319

3 ай бұрын

I just was listening to dr chris palmers book chapter on genetics and mental health. He referenced interesting studies abt children of holocaust survivors, it seems the parents trauma can affect their children's health, even tho they're born later.

@ZeCahli

Ай бұрын

@@StephA21319You are correct. The book “The Body Keeps the Score” is an excellent book that explains this scientifically. Trauma is absolutely genetic.

This video gave me such an enlighten. the things that the other person tells us are not always true, so don't blame ourselves for everything, because when things happen, we can not always know the “real” reason.

"just keep searching" that is amazing advice. It's a great way to keep your mind open and I definitely need that when looking at my past experiences I used to blame myself for.

Thank you so much...been in therapy for yrs and you tell me more in 20 minutes than all the time I have spent in someone's office!

I wish you would do a series on PARENTAL ALIENATION! I’m so happy you mentioned this not many therapists don’t even know about this brutal abuse that affects millions of people. I wish you would do a series on it and how to deal the trauma of this!!!!

Mine can be as simple as seeing a close friend/ family have a bad mood and suddenly my mind tried to find any possible mistake that I have done and blame myself. Eventually it led me to having a bad mood and I couldn't stop thinking about it. That is just the simplest case that happens quite often. And being a HSP male, I can easily pick up subtle cues if people are speaking to me differently or if they have a slight change of behaviour.. I hate this habit...

Thanks Scott. I needed to hear this.

🙏Thank you Dr.Scott!

I needed to hear that today Dr. Scott. Thank you so much!

The combination of worst case scenario and people pleasing made up a majority of my life until age 40 from my upbringing and my job.

This is a huge issue for me and I've been trying to break out of it recently but it's so difficult. My mind has made up a false reality that is validated by the actual events. It's hard to convince myself that the story isn't true because the evidence does support it. The movie Shutter Island is somewhat the kind of thing I'm talking about.

@wavvsfr

2 ай бұрын

i feel your pain.. i’ve dug my self so deep in this rabbit hole of delusions that with all the evidence i convinced myself to be correlated to my trauma, i’ve stuck myself in a thick depression. i just want to let go. i’m so tired

Thank you again to bringing light to a common negative practice! Thank Dr Scott!

Dr. Scott keeps it real. Really enjoyed listening to this.

That was great! Much thanks.

This really hit me hard unexpectedly. Nail on the head and gave me a reality check

Thanks again for this doc Scott...the one truth i struggle with is. .. your life is the direct result of the decisions you've made...😬

@klanderkal

2 ай бұрын

Yes,.... my life is the results of my horrible decisions. And, they just kept happening. Recently I did 4 in a row, that were extremely devastating to me..! I stressed so bad, I got anxiety, insomnia,... and severe depression. Now,... I just blame myself with self hate, and horrible negative self talk. My life is ruined. And,... now im suffering. I cannot forgive myself because I kept hating on myself. I really need to find away to do a 180 fast. 🙏

Thank you for this offering

It's crazy that we had to be more risk-averse to survive, but now we have to be less risk-averse to thrive

Thanks Dr. Eilers, I needed to hear this and it crossed my way the right time, very well put together.

Your book is fantastic. Thanks for advertising it on your wall. Sincerely.

Thank you so much!! I love your videos!! You gone me hope!!

Most relatable and helpful video yet. Thanks for continuing, it's motivating.

This makes a lot of sense, thank you

I needed this reminder. Thank you

Thank you so much for this video!

Once AGAIN... THANK YOU FOR YOUR HELP💓🙏

Thank you!!

This video was so timely for me. I've been noticing patterns with people I work with that cause me the same issues over and over again that I cannot escape.

Wow! I was meant to hear your video today. It is a Godsend.

Always well said and explained. Thank you.

I am going to listen to this later today. Thank you Doctor Scott x

Man, i had a good cry listening to you here. It feels like I cried away a bit of this burden. I've already worked with my therapist about how the abuse and bullying i went through wasn't my fault, and you helped me register it a bit more, until my mind can completely integrate that. As always, thank you so much

Excellent video!!❤

Dynamite video! VERY GOOD info..! Thank You!

Thank you very much, great points.

Amazing. Truly helpful!

Thank you for sharing your experiences and the wisdom you have gained. I am grateful for you.

Watching your videos and doing therapy is a recipe for better mental health to me. It’s like the chicken noodle soup for the soul, I just feel so understood and your videos help me to articulate how I’m feeling. I truly appreciate all of the content you’re putting out here! I even listen to your videos while driving because they’re just the right amount of informative and humorous!

Thank you so much.🙏🏾 17 minutes in and this video helped me make a distinction, that had never occurred to me before. I have been in bad relationships. I am NOT BAD AT relationships. This has made me feel really free, relieved, and optimistic. Thank you again.😊 Subbed

You are so incredibly helpful, thank you 👐🏼

You always have useful advice. Thanks!

The best video I have seen recently. Thank you, Dr Scott. I am a health care worker, clinical research, science, and I was laid off on19th, December. Since then, I have been in a paralyzed situation and cannot take any action: no job search, not going after legal rights, not telling family, not talking to any friend, not sharing and I am a 45 years a lady who lives alone... Sometimes, it is not about stories we tell ourselves that hurt. Sometimes, it is about the reality and we ask questions that hurt for not getting any rational answer. As you said, not everybody... For my case, I was about to have a heart attack due to mobbing, and used my earned pto to recover. They terminated my work for not being at the office while I was going through a serious health problem. So, I just don't emotionally react and tell myself a story that I was punished for going after my health and tried to not die. They were intimidated for their wrong action ( you were right for a possible reason 23:50 ) . Your videos are real deal . Thanks again Dr Scott. Appreciate it...

thank you very much. i needed this.

This segment really helped me with deeply acute grief. Thank you.

You all are truly inspiring with your kindness. Thank you!

This has honestly opened my eyes to a horribly toxic pattern of thinking that has been with me my entire life. Thank you for this video, it’s means a lot to me.

Thank you Dr. Scott

Excelente video, gracias!

Great video, needed to hear this today - thank you.

This advice really hit home for me because i'm doing shadow work for childhood trauma and a lot was very helpful and informative

This was tremendously helpful. Thank you.

It took me years to realize that I have created vicious and self recriminating stories as a way of somehow "atoning" for myself as JUST punishment. Self flogging as atonement. I've stopped a lot of those narratives, but many still persist in complex and sneaky ways. Excellent video, very helpful, WILL incorporate those great tools. Thank you very much, my friend.

Thanks very much, this is very practical advice and i appreciate it!

I´m so grateful for your work and effort you are putting in all these videos you are making. I have gone through a very hard time the last 1.5 year. Involving a very uggly separation (9 year relationship). I have been so close to giving up so i have been scared of my self. You have really helped me a lot and almost every video you´ve made have given me the feeling that you are talking directly to me. These problems you talk about is exactly the ones I experience. I´m convinced that there are many people who are feeling the same way as I do. So I want to say thank you very much. Thank you for helping me saving myself. Daniel 46 from Sweden

I feel like I do this so much every time I face any form of rejection. Thank you for talking about this topic.