Class is in session
Lesson 1
The art of code switching
First you have to acquire a white voice
Before
Hey, wassup this is Julio?
After
Hello, this is Julian speaking.
Allow your dialect to fluently escape your throat
Once your white voice has been activated,
remember posture
Arms to your side, back straight, head up
You have to know when to use your new skill
It's most often used when you're on the phone with your boss,
insurance company,
or just talking to all white people in general.
Be mindful of your greetings
With friends
With coworkers
When moving into a neighborhood, understand that your skin makes you intimidating
So remember to say things like...
how are you neighbor
or
good afternoon
or whatever white people say
When answering the phone, let it ring a couple times before you pick up.
It demonstrates how busy you are.
When you say your name,
say it quickly so they don't hear the dance in it,
don't feel the culture rolling off their tongues.
This will make white people say
"oh wow I like that"
instead of saying "that's unique" while pronouncing your name.
Be careful because they can recognize slave language anywhere
Lastly
This is not the language that you will use amongst your friends
or you're not gonna have any
If anyone ever tells you that you sound white
take it as a compliment
just know it means you sound intelligent
it means you don't sound like you came from the hood
LESSON 2
How to avoid police brutality
When a cop pulls you over
Make sure you put your hands out the window where they can see them.
you'll get use to having your hands in the air
Dress appropriate
a suit and tie
can help stop a bullet from fracturing your skull.
Shave your beard,
it'll slim the chances of you being called a man on Fox News.
Even at 14 they’ll try to prove you’re man enough for murder
There's a strong possibility that you are one signal away from being Sandra Bland
That's why you immediately turn into Sandra Bullock,
That's called code switching, remember lesson one.
Secondly
when they ask you to get out the car
don't ask why
that's when they’ll start gripping their gun
wait hold up
Keep your cool
why the fuck does my skin color make me a target
do I got bullseye on my forehead or something
This is an example of exactly what not to do
See that's what will get you killed
just unbuckle your seatbelt slowly
and exit your vehicle
too many of us have been made a martyr.
LESSON 3
Distracting people from your ethnicity
It's obvious that you're brown
but you don't have to sound that way
Smile as if you had pearls for teeth
this will distract from your midnight skin
Hide anything that reminds them of your roots,
and by roots I mean actual roots girl
cover that up with a good sew in and edge control,
you'll be just as white as the walls
When speaking up for black women
Make sure you don’t look like one
When they say things like
"why are black girls so loud?"
Say maybe they’re just misunderstood
And when you feel like you've blown your cover
Tell a story about a crazy experience you had with a black women
Don't mention it's about your mother
If you can’t distract people from your ethnicity,
It will be no biggie for them to redesign your day into a homicide.
LESSON 4
You can't run away from your skin
Watch how many bodies fall
I mean how everybody fails
But even if you stay alive long enough to pass this class
you can still be killed for being brown in America.
Passing this course only proves you're aware of dying by skin color,
& being okay with that.
Being a minority is knowing that you'll have child that will enroll in this class,
& being okay with that..
that even if bodies of color fall by gunshots,
you are the product of a scar.
They don't teach you math for no reason,
because when bodies go missing
you'll find out how to put it together
it will all seem to add up
This course teaches you how to breathe even when the world has you by throat
how to be one inhale faster than Eric Gardner,
how to be one step before Michael Brown
How to be one shade lighter than Tamir Rice
They stopped drawing out our bodies with chalk and started painting the streets with our blood
We’re teaching you how to become a walking cemetery
Because even if you ace this course, you might end up dead