Unrealistic DLC - the train actually showed up. Basically unplayable.

@papasmurfette007

4 жыл бұрын

In fact it showed up three times at one station. Southern should be applauded for hiring a driver with such dedication to improving the statistical bottom line...

@whatdoyoumeanbro4964

4 жыл бұрын

Lmfaoooo

@ok7513

3 жыл бұрын

According to a 2017 test I made, southern comes second worst... after Thameslink!

@TransportCambs

3 жыл бұрын

obvious lie, the train is a paid actor. smh my head

@yourlocaltrainenthusiast

3 жыл бұрын

SOUTHERN R GREAT SOFUCKOFF

Southern Railway wishes all its customers a happy 2014 and apologises for the late arrival of this message.

And we're away! [ immediately applies emergency brakes ] 😂😂😂

@Cakeyboi4

3 жыл бұрын

@SAM SOLO bruh.

Good to know that red signals are actually just a very severe speed limit rather than a sign to stop.

flies past glynde, actually stops, puts it in reverse and manages to go past it again. ahhh marvelous, that's why the colonel is the best at tsw

"It's going to be close"! *blows past the station at 90mph*

How much more easily the game would have been if he learnt the keyboard controls for forward and back... xD

the throttle is so hard to use, the train always shoves it all the way up or down to emergency break, thats why i use A and D

@t04sty46

4 жыл бұрын

Yeah using power handles with the mouse is always a pain

One set of Grandparents live in Eastbourne, the other in Polegate, Stepdad is from near Glynde and went to college in Lewes. This video is basically just one massive adolescent travel PTSD trigger...

@colonelfailure

4 жыл бұрын

More than happy to help you relive the horror/joy.

As a man from the railway and use these units everyday, it pained me to watch you monumentally bugger up every operational requirement you needed to do 😂 you didn't turn on the AWS, DRA, DVD etc. You didn't turn your lights on. And you didn't close the cab door behind you. I'm so upset 😭

@Seathal

3 жыл бұрын

As a man who takes public transport the most bothersome element is the half dozen emergency brakes he's done by mistake xD

I have noticed a few comments saying that it would be easier if the Colonel used a keyboard, it may well be easier, but, we don't come here for easier, we come here for 'Fun and Failure' which is what we get in abundance. Long may it continue. Carry On.

So it turns out you're the legendary kid who only did the first page of the examination, because it didn't have a printed instruction to turn the page.

30:57 'No no no. It's not an aeroplane!' Made my week!

I so wanted that "8" in the cab to be a button that says "eight" when pressed.

Well at least it's not a bunch of Pacers lashed together with zip ties and electrical tape so it's not all doom and gloom, the passengers are spared the diabolical "seating" of those accursed things that stubbornly refuse to cease operating.

“Next Stop Polegate. Passengers for polegate should be travelling in the first 5 Coaches only. You can thank your silly driver for this”

What's the bet that RMT are going to use this very video for their "and that's why we can't have driver-only operation" argument next time they feel like going on a strike?

In before the "What button to make the conductor announcements?" post.

1:27 Big Lads more like *A B S O L U T E U N I T*

This brings back memories of relying on Southern Snail. I once waited an hour and a half for a late train. It got to the next station and then turned around. Skipping about 10 stations. I worked from home that day.

"Frodo clutching his magic ring" Well thanks, ruined my keyboard when i spat my coffee all over it.

Things I love... DTG Releasing a new route... Things I think about "OMG Colonel will do a new video soon"... Thing I love MOST: Watching Colonels new video including many hilarious gags!

YES!!!! 2020 is off to a classic start with a return to TSW!!!! :D

Danish intercity trains got a really cool solution where the front door is the control panel. If you open the door, you lock away the control panel.

Hilarious! It reminds me of being at work teaching trainees in the simulators. It's more fun to watch when you're not teaching someone though.

@nstheboss

4 жыл бұрын

Do you have any tips on how to get on the ladder to become a train driver? All the vacancies are qualified train drivers :( probably not the place to ask but as your a driver trainer you might be able to help me

@trainstrains1

4 жыл бұрын

@@nstheboss It depends what Country you want to be a driver in. I'm in Australia and we're always hiring drivers in my city. Often railways promote from within so if you can any job on a railway that might be a way to go.

@nstheboss

4 жыл бұрын

@@trainstrains1 thank you for the advice :)

Good fun, Colonel! A few laughs are always good for making the day brighter.

Some say Frodo is still in the south of England swamp clutching his magic ring. Great video original as ever!

DRA-the Derailing Assistant. LOL!

This was a really good entertaining episode! It reminded me of your infamous Liverpool approach, a true Epic Failure!

I don't think the Empire had Wookies in mind when they designed her, Chewie.

100% improvement on Southern Rail services there Colonel! Why haven't Southern asked you to drive for them yet?

Colonel Failure: This is why Southern sucks. Southern: Stops sucking and becomes one of the most reliable operators in the country.

@kimjongunlol193

4 жыл бұрын

Doomotron Never happen sorry

@doomotron6160

4 жыл бұрын

@@kimjongunlol193 Southern has a timeliness percentage over 90%. It is higher than a lot of other operators.

LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOO! @ Creeping past the signal and hope it don't notice! Loooool! Brilliant Colonel! You make me laugh so much!

Pretty confident that Northern Fail makes Southern Rail look efficient.... with or without the Colonel at the helm

After the episode you must have been having nightmares about emergency brakes. No, no, emergency. Lol

I always thought Hampden Park was in Scotland, a bit outside Southern Rails jurisdiction. But I suppose it's like every other location in the UK/Common Wealth/North America, so good they named it twice... Excellent video and commentary btw

Get the bulldozer out on those pesky red signals. Get in the old class 31 to give us even more pleasure.

One of the best you've ever done. Brilliant 😂

The train announcements always get me lol 😂

Stop making me snort rum and coke, Colonel. It burns...And, I'm thinking that was a Fawltey door.

Learning the configuration of the glorious Southern 377 Part 54.

Naa this man makes me laugh 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣, great content great voice over

Do more Train things, you make my day :)

I'm only just seeing this, but this guys really funny. Made my Week 😂😂😂

Let’s rock, ok we’re away (pushes emergency break😂😂😂😂😂)

My hometown (Eastbourne)! Also, yes it is always f***ing raining, considering it's called the "Sunshine Coast". Also, yes again, Southern is the s***iest Train Operating Company in the UK.

@al3xand3rl3wis3

4 жыл бұрын

Between Northern and Southern the UK is awful for rail traffic.

This was a very good simulation. Just one tip I learnt.All electrostars in this simulation always need to have the automatic door open before u can close the cab door ;)

As you referenced M&S, I work in M&S and currently on break

@colonelfailure

4 жыл бұрын

Not just any break though...

God I can’t watch this, I’m gonna play Transport Fever 2 URGENT 😂

That point where you realise there is a keyboard button for speeding up and slowing down :P

@zekrom6537

4 жыл бұрын

he knows but he want it to be more realistic but well the game really loves that emergency brake xD

@berenscott8999

4 жыл бұрын

@@zekrom6537 when you drive a train you dont have to take your eyes off the prize to adjust the throttle. ;)

From Eastborune, can confirm, is raining...

At 6:08 there is a need for the smoothing tool between the tracks. You can change games Colonel but you can't escape your pet terrain peeve.😉

I was chuckling through out... Spot on!

Seems I will never fulfil my dream as a warning beep conductor.

That was fun Thanks Colonel

This is an accurate depiction of Southern rail

Classic Failure, love it.

More hosing action than a fireman's appliance convention...

Colonel, you probably had a few cars hanging off the back end of the platform at Hampden Park

Best thing I watched all day!

New TSW from the Colonel! Sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet!

"Colonel Emergency Stop!!"

I'm (originally) from Seaford. DLC bought as soon as I saw it had Seaford in it.

@volvotrident4835

4 жыл бұрын

I love Seaford lol

Genuinely hilarious! Thanks.

refreshing episode inbetween the other series! by the way did the multiplayer ever make the cut for this game? In September 2016, Dovetail Games announced Train Sim World, a new train simulator using Epic's Unreal Engine 4 and featuring a multiplayer as well as the ability to walk around in the world.

@Adam-zg7tw

4 жыл бұрын

No multiplayer yet. They haven't ruled it out

LOL! :) That f..... emergency. I hate it too :)

One of the few train lines in Britain I've seen myself (not used yet tho) :)

The Victoria to South London route has always been ontime lol..

Can you do a purely passenger episode?

That door with the consoles attached to it is meant to stay open when the cab is in use. That's why it kept opening when you sat down.

If you keep insisting on going straight for B3, instead of applying a smaller level of breaking power, there wouldn't be a risk of an Emergency Stop. (Also, A to increase throttle/decrease brakes, D to decrease throttle/increase brake. No more magnets.)

Really enjoy our videos, and I ... live there, I live in Eastbourne

Being from the US, I have to ask...is the distain that UK citizens seem to have for the former Southern Railway system in the "grouping" era connected to its rather geriatric collection of elderly steam locos in the classic era as opposed to the other 3 companies with their flying scots, castles and other more modern locomotives?

@Tyrope

4 жыл бұрын

Disclaimer: not a UK citizen, I just live in the UK. Nah, it's just that Southern Railway is tits. Not "the tits", just tits.

@colonelfailure

4 жыл бұрын

Southern is a rail operator that has a deserved reputation for unreliability. There's nothing more to it than that.

@underwaterdick

4 жыл бұрын

The modern disdain for Southern has NOTHING to do with anything before the franchise went to them. It has everything to do with their poor performance, customer service and infamous strikes. Then again, Northern just had their franchise cancelled, and South Western Railway are at rock bottom in customers eyes currently. Historic locomotives and regions are irrelevant.

Enters station...(immediately applies emergency brake)

Your commentary is priceless.

Berwick upon Tweed...right on the Northumberland border to Scotland

@underwaterdick

4 жыл бұрын

So, not quite north then! Gotta hit Perth before you are truly approaching the north! 😉

@Northlander74

4 жыл бұрын

@@underwaterdick North of England

oh god now i have southerntraindrivenbycolonel-phobia and i need to go on one tommorow

3 Failures are good! Try 4 next time.

Probably should use the keyboard when using these locos. just a suggestion :)

Eastbourne to Brighton's for kids - for the full Southern experience, go for the weekday 07h20 from Three Bridges to London Bridge on the Thameslink... *shudder*

A 377 tight? Try the class 153 before they disappear.... only one of the driving cabs are original and full depth

Great video

you make me terrified to ever take public transit

@colonelfailure

4 жыл бұрын

My work here is done.

are you sure this is southern railways I could have swore I saw empty seats normally you have to arm wrestle the pregnant woman for the seat and just stand there looking at the people who have seats and wonder how on earth they managed it and who you must kill/bribe to get one? It is nice to know that northern rail can call on CF to demonstrate his keeping to time table expertise and pass on his professional train driving skills to any who wish to advance their abilities[ to the next rail franchise to take over]

AWS Amazon Web services LOL

Omgd, imagine this man was a real train driver 😭😭😭😭😭😭

@colonelfailure

4 жыл бұрын

You should be so lucky.

Can you try again?

Hello! Please tell me if there are free dlc for this game?

Try driving with the keyboard, it’s easier. I think you were able to pass the signal because you used “reload last checkpoint” things like that cause a glitch where you can pass red signals without issue.

@colonelfailure

4 жыл бұрын

Easier!? Get on my power level!

When you got happen for problems doors then I out then I do close it but I forgot the brake train then train backwards themselves. I trying inside for driver 😂😂😂

@micktaylor9332

4 жыл бұрын

?????

All aboard the Whiplash Special!

@colonelfailure

4 жыл бұрын

Not quite my tempo.

But aren't you a developer for dovetail Games who made TSW

@breakcoregivesmewo0od611

4 жыл бұрын

i think in one of the livesteams he mentioned it was more on the pr/community mangement side then developing for dovetail

@colonelfailure

4 жыл бұрын

I do player research for them on a part time basis. If this video appears biased, that'd be why.

FINALLY ecw

I laughed quite a bit

Flight sims, Farm sims, Car and lorry sims all interface with external hardware but train sims don't. Moving analogue levers with keyboard keys takes away a lot of the reality for me. I have over 1079 hrs in TSW but it still infuriates me.

@papasmurfette007

4 жыл бұрын

There are 3rd party programs (open source I think) that allow remapping joystick axes and buttons to keyboard commands, although they may be hit and miss. I know some have used flight controls with recent Train Simulator versions. I always envisioned using the 3-way quadrant installed sideways to operate throttle, train brake and engine brake. I couldn't find a saved bookmark, so you'll need to google it if interested...

@thelastpilot4582

4 жыл бұрын

Thanks I mentioned them to Matt (on Discord) he suggested they can go out of sinc, I believe I have looked but to be honest I did not entirely understand them.

Bombardier manufactured them from 2001 to 2003

@haydonsheard2168

4 жыл бұрын

It was actually manufactured up in till 2014 and then they converted their 375s and reclassified them 377/3 a three car formation

Do a steam train.

Bombardier

Go to 30.00 for an 'amazing' action shot. You wont regret it.

1:45