“You meet emotion with emotion. You meet rational with rational. You can’t mix the two.” Just brilliant. Thank you for sharing.

@Novastar.SaberCombat

11 ай бұрын

The sad thing is that Sinek didn't take it into the necessary steps that go beyond this oversimplified meme. After all, if someone is being emotional and their irrational platitudes will DESTROY something valuable, no, you cannot simply "stand down". A crappy play is one thing. But what if someone is pissing away YOUR LIFE? Or, more specifically, they're allowing their irrational, non-sequitur emotions to make really bad decisions which have collateral consequences? Again, no, you *cannot* simply "stand down". Otherwise, humanity (as a whole) will lose. You don't file for divorce if someone lost a document. And you don't fire an employee simply because your husband cheated on you. Well... you SHOULDN'T. But people do. 💪😎✌️ Narcissism kills.

I am autistic and constantly looking for how I am supposed to behave In social situations. This is very helpful, Thank you.

@leahcarandang9592

Жыл бұрын

If you are fond of movies, try watching Temple Grandin and you surely will relate. Teaching herself to behave in social situations is what made her exceptional and pushed through all her hardships in life. :)

@clamsr8565

Жыл бұрын

Lmao

@RahulRanjan674

Жыл бұрын

He has ADHD I too am dyslexic and have ADHD. I see what you're talking about.

@ceterisparibus8966

Жыл бұрын

I feel you. I have really bad ADHD and anxiety.

@yrgarcon

Жыл бұрын

⁠@@leahcarandang9592I think you are refering to something relatably human. We autistics arn’t all the same. Surely you just want to be helpful just know that unsolicited advice claiming to understand someone else is not helpful. THANK you for understanding, no Im kidding, try to understand. Bless you!

These 2 minutes literally explain all huge fights I had in my ex relationship. My ex was behaving emotionally and me being autistic only spoke from a rational standpoint, thus never meeting her with emotions. I wish I saw this 6 years ago 😢

@Lipanj92

Жыл бұрын

Wow, I might be autistic as well, based on this description. I never care about the feelings in arguments and just want to solve everything logically and rationally.

@bahaa2ahmed

Жыл бұрын

​@@Lipanj92That can be just a thing you do that you can change. Just cuz you do that doesn't mean you're autistic. Don't self-diagnose. Seek professional advice if needed.

@fakename3208

11 ай бұрын

Are y’all sure your autistic? It’s sounds like just being a man. Men want to solve problems, women just want to feel better about them. Drives me nuts.

@Lipanj92

11 ай бұрын

@@bahaa2ahmed You're right, I was raised this way by my very logical Grandma who didn't like beating around the bush and was very straightforward. The difficulty is being a female like this among other females who are in majority snowflakes who make up fuss out of nowhere and then complain when you're being cold and logical. Luckily, I don't bother having a smaller group of close friends, being the introvert that I am. I'm not self-diagnosing, I'm actually annoyed when people do it. I just said that according to the provided description I as well might be that. Today everything and everyone seems to be 'autistic', everyone wants to have a diagnosis, and sometimes I feel we're making up these 'disorders' that once used to make us pretty normal. For me, being logical and rational in arguments will always be normal, and I don't care about neither take anyone's drama - those are narcissistic traits. I value peaceful living.

@Snippyyy

11 ай бұрын

​@@Lipanj92good job not being one of those weird people who self diagnose

I learned to do this with members of my team when they present something they've worked on in a group setting, and whatever they did sucks or was wrong. I'll praise their efforts or their courage to present in front of everyone or the way in which it was presented. And then later, in private, I will give them the objective and constructive criticism they need to hear. Its a bit like the praise in public, reprimand in private principle that I learned as a young squad leader in the Marines. One thing I really need to make a concerted effort at is making sure that the private honest conversation happens as contemporaneously as possible. My goal is to do it the very next work day, but sometimes I fall short of that.

As someone that is learning to be honest in pursuit of truth, this is very helpful. Thanks!

@Novastar.SaberCombat

11 ай бұрын

"Reflect upon the Past. Embrace your Present. Orchestrate our Futures." --Artemis 🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨ "Before I start, I must see my end. Destination known, my mind’s journey now begins. Upon my chariot, heart and soul’s fate revealed. In time, all points converge, hope’s strength re-steeled. But to earn final peace at the universe’s endless refrain, We must see all in nothingness... before we start again." 🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨ --Diamond Dragons (series)

This actually is a really good statement. Sometimes when emotions get in the way, especially in the moment, it's hard to be rational with someone. Despite the actions being the same, the outcome will obviously be different according to the moment and the person's state of mind

@leahcarandang9592

Жыл бұрын

Yes. It makes a lot of sense, a lot of times we tend to act immediately rather thank think first. Had to post cause I cannot find the original video.

@manujohn99

Жыл бұрын

If emotions get in the way then that is actually who you are & that is the REAL HONESTY. If you put away your emotions at that moment then congrats you are successfully allowing dishonesty & lies to win inside you. And if you are regularly doing it then you will only see & have all lies to answer to. 🤷‍♂​🤷‍♂​🤷‍♂​

@amihere383

11 ай бұрын

​@@manujohn99I strongly disagree. You're saying that simply by not expressing every little emotion I feel in the moment, I'm lying? No. The kind of person I am is more stoic, I don't have to be bothered by everything. Really, if you're letting your emotions dictate you and decide your actions in such a way, then that's just gross immaturity and childishness. You can be fully aware of and feel your emotions while also maintaining a rational and objective observation of the world.

@manujohn99

11 ай бұрын

@@amihere383 If you wanna be stoic & dead yaa go right ahead exhibit zero emotions 🤣🤣🤣

@amihere383

11 ай бұрын

@@manujohn99 Like I said, I'm not dead. I can smile, I can laugh, I can kiss my girl and be affectionate, but just because she might say or do something I don't like doesn't mean I can't still smile and enjoy her presence. Acting solely on emotions is silly. I am not dead inside, I am like a tree, my bark is tough but my sap still flows all the same

But it's even more difficult to NOT be instantly honest, and brace yourself the next day for that honesty, revealing that you didn't tell all the truth in the first place.

@RichOrElse

11 ай бұрын

It's not that difficult, so long as you were honest

@Lizzifer7

11 ай бұрын

Not really. Find ways to be supportive without being contrary to your opinion. For example, he didn't say to his friend "that play was amazing!" He said "I'm proud of you!" Which would be true of anyone having the courage to go up on-stage a preform , regardless of how you perceived the play 😊

Technically, he was honest in the moment and was honest later. He just didn't answer his friend's question right away. He delayed properly answering it until later. Edit: I should add that somehow the way he describes the situation happening feels wrong. So I wouldn't be reccomending dealing with things the way he did.

@SiMeGamer

11 ай бұрын

My problem is that there is no explanation of what happens if they still push for an answer. Their state is still mostly emotional but they are rational enough to see you haven't answered the question. I just prefer to be honest outright. I hate when people dodge questions because I find that dishonest.

@joshnabours9102

11 ай бұрын

@@SiMeGamer Yes, exactly. You don't have to rain on their parade just because you are being honest either. There are at least 10 different ways to go about honestly answering without lying or dodging the question. From simply answering that "I don't think this play was my cup of tea", to prefacing your answer with a question such as "What level of bluntness would you like?" In order to tailor your answer to their preferences, to bluntly answering along the lines of "I saw the significant amount of hard work that was put in, but [specific issue x] , [specific issue y] , and [specific issue z] honestly made the play harder to enjoy for me." Constructive criticism is the name of the game. Gracefully disagreeing with someone is an technique everybody should to learn. Dodging the question is not how you do it. Constructive criticism helps people improve upon themselves. Refusing to answer does not. I have noticed that John Stewart is really good at gracefully disagreeing and providing constructive criticism in his many of interviews.

@michellewright99

11 ай бұрын

I love how he handled it, I suspect if she had pressed him for specific feedback on the play itself he would have said something additional! But he gave honest feedback on the positive things...her energy, him being proud (of her effort I imagine), etc.

@michellewright99

11 ай бұрын

​@@SiMeGamer Some people won't press because they didn't notice or they realize the answer may be something they don't want to hear. I bet if Simon was friends with you and he knew you wanted the good, bad and ugly right up front, he would deliver because he knows you can handle it without taking it personally. I dare say most people (me included) can't usually. But depends on the situation.mthis clip is a generally principle. We have to adapt and use the proper tool according to each situation of course. I appreciate your viewpoint though. This is a good topic.

@LevattWolfheart

11 ай бұрын

​@SiMeGamer if you don't like that then you can more plainly set it aside. Compliment something truthful and say we can do a full review when you've processed it. Would even make it easier to engage the next day. Also you can be honest in the moment as long as you are willing to read their emotion. I can see when my fiance is getting emotional and feeling blamed and I turn to her and say "I am on your side, always, I never blame you I just want to plan for the future and be on the same page" then give her a few minutes to get through her emotions before continuing the discussion

This is so powerful. Thank you. We can find something good to comment on in the moment....until sanity steps in and truth can be told.

@Novastar.SaberCombat

11 ай бұрын

Depends on the situation. Life and Death is DEFINITELY the situation to employ logic and truth. But uh, yeah... a "bad performance"? Sure, who cares, whatever. 🙄

I love that he called his friend to tell her why it sucked

I try to do this every single day and it's totally transformed my relationships. Each day I'm kind & respectful to who I'm with and then I call whoever I was with the previous day to explain why everything they were doing completely sucked. It's getting even easier with practice, although tbf that might be because having much fewer friends means I get to spend so much time on my own now. Thanks Simon!

You can always find something positive or something YOU LIKE ....in ANY situation 🔥

Just awesome

I have learned from experience that this is true. Emotions are never a time for honesty. But there are some people who are always emotional and they never listen to reason. This mostly applies to people that are just stubborn though.

@Novastar.SaberCombat

11 ай бұрын

Depends on the situation. If it's a critical issue, logic, reason, facts, and proper assessments are REQUIRED. But a crappy performance? Um, yeah, whatever. Who cares.

The truth behind what he said is truly huge! Most people don’t understand the concept of how to be honest with people.

This is very true to the "I don't keep anything in my heart, I'm a straight forward person, will say stuff to your face". Types!!! Like he mentioned... There is a time & place for everything! Ppl forget that & say the most rude & meanest things they can!!!

Beautifully and wonderfully articulate, I will have to revisit this probably several times throughout my life.

Thanks for sharing!

It seems odd to call someone up who invited you to a play that they acted in that obviously meant a lot to them and give them a “point by point” breakdown of why you personally didn’t like it, but ok…. Even a day or two after, it’s unnecessary. Unless the person was in charge or looking to make a profit and solicited this guy to give a professional opinion, why open your mouth and do that? Sometimes the best thing is to be grateful (complimenting the experience and the other person’s hard work is a good example, as well as being thankful they shared it with you) and then realize it’s not the time to show off or nitpick.

Thank you for sharing this is a great example for us all to follow.

This is tremendously helpful for I’m sure many, many people. Thanks for the post!

Beautifully said

The best thing I heard in a long time ♥

When you see their babies, people expect you to tell them they are beautiful and...sometimes they are not. I just say something about their clothes, toy, smile etc.

@leahcarandang9592

Жыл бұрын

This is a great example. Though we could say everyone is beautiful - people would have different versions of what outside appearance they find pleasing to their eyes so providing details on things you've mentioned is a good idea.

This is one of the most helpful videos I've ever seen

Beautiful simply timeless mesmerising beautiful 👍👌.Love it ❤ It does makes sense ,especially if it is done within the greatest GIFT of LOVE ❤️ LOVE is and will ALWAYS be the greatest GIFT❤ Love from a timeless bellissima lady full of class and elegance and grace and finesse ❤ Many thanks ❤️👍👌❤️

Sometimes I’m wrong and I know I’m wrong but I won’t admit it at the time because I’m so full of emotion. It always helps to let everyone involved know I was wrong after I’ve cooled down.

@Novastar.SaberCombat

11 ай бұрын

In 30+ years, I've never met anyone who will admit they're incorrect. Not even when proven to be wrong via facts and data. They hate it. They gotta double down on their beliefs. That way, they're "more correct than ever". That's how narcissists function, and the world is CHOCK FULL of 'em. 🙄 They're rewarded by society, too. The majority are CEOs of every major company. No joke.

Omigosh🙊👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 loOoOOve this, so glad I clicked on it. I'mma save this & make it my social etiquette mantra

Thank you for sharing

Yeah but people please listen closely he NEVER lied, to lie is dishonest even if we do so to protect someone's feelings and it eventually backfires in distrust if the person finds out later that we lied. What he did was delay answering the question for a better time to do so which is the right thing to do.

I love this and agree 1000%. I've learned that when emotions are high, logic and reasoning goes down. So when I'm getting into an argument with a loved one and can see they are getting emotional , I try to hold my tongue until the waters have calmed. That way when I do speak my truth, they are usually more receptive to hearing what I have to say

Thank you for sharing this :)

I woulda said it was terrible but I like what you brought to the table 😂😂

Amazing advice! Thanks!

Delayed honesty is only delayed if it actually comes at all.I think leading people on is never a good thing no matter the length of time.

@mouthfungus

Жыл бұрын

Given that's two different things.

@rutendomatanga2989

Жыл бұрын

Freedom is never a negotiable thing and if ever denied should be based on fair , transparent and just grounds which are limited by checks and balances.A true friend would be able to understand such honest opinion and reflect on what must change.

This may be what i was missing in my life! How to use it, time will tell, but i feel like I'm always hitting a brick wall! Maybe i need to stop forcing my rationale on people when they're emotional! Eye opening.

I haven’t heard anything as brilliant as this in a while 👏

THANK YOU

I found this extremely useful since this happens to me all the times and I hate lying, thank, simon

Thank you

Loved it ❤

If you treat others the way you'd want to be treated, then knowing what to do will come naturally. (AKA the Golden Rule)

This explains a lot about relationships. Thank you.

Man, what a great advice ❤

Sometimes I do this backwards. I feel too emotional to speak at the moment, so I let my husband know I need to talk once I've calmed down. Then we go rational/rational conversation and deal with the situation at hand

mad respect

Damn..Thats powerful.

Thanks

Love it

Never go to bed angry. But also, sleep on your ‘honesty’ before you spit a jab or insult that you can’t take back. I’m a very emotional person. Two great lessons I’ve learned as a young woman. 9 times out of 10 it is wise to bite your tongue in the moment. Maybe 2 times out of ten, after sleeping on it, and thinking on it I realise the fight wasn’t worth having. Usually, i was hungry, tired, or stressed for a million other reasons, and I perceived a greater threat or slight than was actually present, OR I realised that the other person (partner, friend, child, siblings etc.) was tired, hungry or stressed for a million other reasons, and that grace and forgiveness is the appropriate response. When you give good people grace, they usually apologise and repent without any prompting. And those apologies are always so much sweeter for the relationship anyway. The second lesson has been harder. And that’s the discernment to know the line where something is worth following up or not. I’m fairly volatile - but I also despise conflict. I spent a lot of years excusing poor behaviour, or behaviour that was easily fixed if I’d said something - because I didn’t want to have the hard conversation. Equally as destructive - and a fast track to becoming bitter and resentful in no time at all.

No wonder 😅 As a brother, I'm usually giving my sisters advice, wisdom, etc. but this one time we went out, she was very excited because she was finally going to buy some merchandise from her favourite kpop band member. So I applied this advice: "Be excited for people who are excited and join in their energy." Something about positive energy because no one wants to be a downer, negative Nancy etc. On that day, I was excited like her and she was very happy. Then the next day, I told her how I really felt about those items she bought.

Wise man

My wife asked me if i did the laundry, i said “oh my God, it was such a joy to see you do the laundry the other day.” Me: sleeping on the couch

This is the way. Too bad some people think delayed honesty is dishonesty.

... timing is everything ....

Simons hair line gives me some relaxation 😅

i still do it in the moment. i quite like the drama

I learned this with an ex. He would get really emotional during our fights and I would be all logic. I could just tell I wasn’t getting through to him and gave up.

@Novastar.SaberCombat

11 ай бұрын

Narcissists always are. And they'll usually double down on their beliefs even when proven wrong. That's just how they're wired. If you look at most CEOs and political constituents... that pretty much describes them to a T.

Well said.

EXCELLENT ADVICE - thanks!!! ('cause I make the mistake of mixing rational and emotional)

So to the point

I've had much better luck with surrounding myself with people who believe emotion should stand down.

"Reflect upon the Past. Embrace your Present. Orchestrate our Futures." --Artemis 🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨ "Before I start, I must see my end. Destination known, my mind’s journey now begins. Upon my chariot, heart and soul’s fate revealed. In time, all points converge, hope’s strength re-steeled. But to earn final peace at the universe’s endless refrain, We must see all in nothingness... before we start again." 🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨ --Diamond Dragons (series)

I LOL'd when he went "and then I told her point by point why it sucked". But this is actually a really good tip, especially the rational to rational vs. emotional to emotional.

Reminds me of a couple of sayings in the Bible...one is there is a time and season for everything. The other is that Christians should speak the truth in love. Knowing when information will hurt instead of help and acting accordingly is wise and loving. Even a surgeon will delay the procedures if your body isn't ready. Blood pressure too high, weight too high, blood to ow, whatever. The surgeon knows you have to be in the right condition to handle what's coming. Otherwise it can do more harm than good. Truth, feedback, and information are the same way. (Life threatening situations not withstanding of course 😉)

This guy is soooo smart.

❤

Awesome video! You are incredible! There is a book called CONQUEROR MINDSET: CONQUER THE MONSTER. I think that you will love this one.

wow

💯✅♥️

Thats a good way to do things.. but i guess some people just forget about the second part and just lie

Ahhh....should have seen this video yesterday..... because today I tried to talk rationally to my friend who was a peak of his anger....and it didn't work of course

satyam bruyat, priyam bruyat, na bruyat satyam-apriyam | priyam cha nanrutam bruyat, yeshah dharmaha sanatanaha || Please search up for the meaning of this shloka if you are interested. This could be practiced your whole life and thrive.

This is just a fancy way of saying "read the room". Which is something most people learn at a young age. Pick your battles and confrontations wisely. Honesty is crucial, but being an asshole is arguably worse than not being completely genuine 100% of the time.

What if he/she understood that you are diverting the question and saying something nice? They'll understand that you aren't being honest.

@brideofallunquietthings7992

Жыл бұрын

Even in diverting the answer, I think he’s finding an honest enough thing to say that he can still match her energy. If he didn’t really mean what he was saying, it would sound off, like an excuse, and it would feel inauthentic. If she was in a rational state of mind, she would more likely notice that he didn’t actually answer her question, but since he’s matching her energy and emotion, she would probably still feel appreciated. Emotion doesn’t really ask what you think anyway, it asks what you feel. Am I loved, appreciated, and accepted? Yes. Did the play suck? Yes. Maybe he’s just answering the question she was meaning to ask.

I like this, to be honest I would have just went ahead and conformed with the rest and put on a fake impression to protect her and inevitably myself from the negative repercussions but it is not helping anyone in this situation, it's just encourages a superficial relationship.

Pershendetje Respekt per Juve

Interesting

I meet everything with rational lmao can't help myself

Yeah, I think normal people would just compliment their friend and not call them the next day to say they lied and the play sucked. If it sucked, a non-friend will tell them.

interesting take

Dude's a powerhouse of Knowledge...

@manujohn99

Жыл бұрын

😂😂🤣

That would have been helpful to know.

Weird Kantean morality

Plot twist: this entire story was a lie

Delayed Honesty is like a stale pizza that you should have eaten yesterday. The real meaning of being honest is to be really honest in the moment or else everyone would be happy eating stale pizza, but it never happens.🤷‍♂​🤷‍♂​🤷‍♂​

@manujohn99

Жыл бұрын

@Kyra So you would eat a stale pizza. Enjoyyyyy 😄😄😂

@user-qe7bt9dz1l

Жыл бұрын

@Kyra Months?!?? Who in God’s name would wait that long for a response?!?? I don’t think I’ve EVER waited that long and if someone takes even days to answer, I’ll just drop them…! We live in the instantaneous age, this ain’t writing letters!!! And people are glued to their phones 24/7 these days so not answering my message for months or even days = they don’t give a shit so they get instant canned!!! People don’t miss an opportunity to grab their phone when bored, hell even when they’re busy!!! So if they can’t even bother to give you a response which can take mere SECONDS to do, then that just instantly says what you’re worth to them. Have self respect and realize in this day and age, there’s NO GOOD REASON to NOT respond in a reasonably timed fashion out of consideration for others!!! And if people wanna get entitled about that and think they don’t owe you a response, then that selfish mindset is a HUGE RED FLAG and you drop them on the spot!!! Don’t bother with people who toss you to the “maybe later” bin!!! There’s NO GOOD EXCUSE to NOT prioritize those you supposedly “care” about!!!

@noicemate9111

Жыл бұрын

@Kyra-bb2inactually I went to a friends birthday party and didn’t tell him till like a year later that the party was dogshit and he was cool with it so I don’t think there’s a time limit it’s all about context

Why did he even need to tell her it sucked?

@ritahorvath8207

10 ай бұрын

Because he is an arrogant idiot who thinks his opinion ( not to mix up with " T R U T H " ) is the most important thing in the world . 🤢

People like this are honestly Genius because there is truth in hearing people’s opinions. However people need to learn it’s their own judgment 😂 so in the end take it or leave it. You may find you don’t have many friends afterwards but at least you came out with the bias opinion some need it haha

No, but what happens when you get to know that the person follows the rule of delayed honesty? Then even in the adrenaline you know that you're asking that person who if gives the direct answer is saying the truth and if s/he doesn't then the direct answer is opposite (what s/he answer is also true though). Then which rule would that person follow after you've caught the trick? The trick can be dropped altogether if we become mature- if we're ready to hear criticism in adrenaline too.

I blame the schools

Which president/general/emperor's daughter was it this time, Sinek oil ?

If someone needs to taught these things honestly they done need to be in a relationship.. honestly 😂

Who is this guy?

So a lie of omission then. How long is it acceptable to delay honesty? Are you sure you won't fall for the temptation to do it forever? How much suffering do we put off onto future generations, so that we don't suffer currently?

Very wise, and even managed to skip the "white lies"

What a charlatan

Errmm who made this guy the person who knows everything? This is HIS opinion someone else may have thought it was great. Again…why is this man telling me what to think? I have my own opinions and thoughts..

Being not nice saying something blunt…what a maverick …🙄

I’m sorry to be contrarian. If his friend accepted the answer after the play, then she asked the wrong question but got the answer she was looking for. If I was her, heard his answer, I’d still say ‘yeah thanks, but how was the play?’ What would he have said then?! ‘Sorry, can I delay my answer?’

What if you wait to tell the truth at a better time and you get accused of protecting someone you want to have a fling with