Should Couples Live Together before Marriage?

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Should Couples Live together before Marriage?
Living together before marriage, which includes what I call “slick shacking”, is becoming more and more popular as our society becomes more and more skeptical of the institution of marriage.
And so as a result this has led many people including relationship experts to believe that living together before marriage gives the couple the opportunity to “try it before you buy it” so to speak. But, does it really work?
Interestingly the statistics prove otherwise
1. Statistical - Dozens of SECULAR studies have been performed between the 1970s and early 2000s where thousands of couples were carefully observed and they all consistently report the following.
a. One study showed that couples that live together before marriage have a 46% higher likelihood of separating than those who wait to get married.
b. Another study showed that only 60% of couples who live together before marriage will actually get married. And of the remaining 40% who do, 5 out 6 of them will be divorced within 3 years.
c. Higher level of adultery
d. Finally studies show that there is a lower level of sexual satisfaction in their marriages
BUT, the real question that we MUST answer is WHY when it makes so much logical sense to live together (test drive, try before you buy it, etc.) before marriage? One of the reasons why there is a higher likelihood that the relationship will end in divorce is…
2. Sociological
a. Often times a man sees moving in as a more convenient way to get sex and an opportunity to test out the relationship. Whereas women tend to see it as the next step towards marriage. And what happens is over time the couple has made such an investment financially and emotionally that it’s harder to get out than they think and so the couple ends up “sliding, not deciding” into marriage.
b. A second reason is that often times the people who move in together are generally the type of people who have a lower view of the institution of marriage as a whole (SCREEN: “I mean it’s just a piece of paper”) which means they may be more likely to bail when the relationship goes through difficult times.
c. Finally, couples that live together are entering into marriage with a different foundation than those that don’t.
3. Spiritual - What does the Bible have to say about this topic? Well, it really doesn’t say anything directly related to the topic but like many other things there are principles that should guide our decision.
a. Do not be conformed to the world - So when we live together we are living and acting just like the world.
b. Not put ourselves in situations that are sexually tempting - Flee immorality (grk. be a fugitive)
c. Avoid the very appearance of evil - 1 Thess. (see also Eph. 5:3) - So even if you are living together and not having sex it will appear to those looking on that you actually are.
d. Which leads to the final reason why it’s not a good idea and that is the fact that you are sending the message to the world that it is okay to have sex before marriage whether you are or aren’t which could cause others to follow your behavior and stumble into sin.

Пікірлер: 383

  • @markanthony3275
    @markanthony32755 жыл бұрын

    A friend told me, "If you create a backdoor for yourself, you'll use it".

  • @ryanarmstrong6512

    @ryanarmstrong6512

    4 жыл бұрын

    Mark Anthony Your friend must be very intelligent.

  • @tekanokhambane4348

    @tekanokhambane4348

    4 жыл бұрын

    Wow that's so true hey

  • @bean7496

    @bean7496

    3 жыл бұрын

    Your friend is quite smart

  • @JayRondon

    @JayRondon

    3 жыл бұрын

    You could say the same for "drinking moderately"

  • @Rampaigee
    @Rampaigee4 жыл бұрын

    Was living with my bf before marriage and got pregnant. I got saved soon after and he was not yet walking with God. The Lord convicted me. I had every excuse to stay there.. I was in law school living off student loans, baby 6 months old but I couldn't shake the conviction. I met a girl from church and during this time she just so happened to have a room for rent 5 min away from church. I prayed on and knew it was God's will. So I took a leap of faith and left after finals. God provided.

  • @kawaiisenshi2401

    @kawaiisenshi2401

    4 жыл бұрын

    Proud of you sis ❤

  • @BeautyWithin1990

    @BeautyWithin1990

    3 жыл бұрын

    💙💜♥️

  • @infinityinfinityinfi

    @infinityinfinityinfi

    3 жыл бұрын

    Whoa! Thank you for this! I've searched high and low. Why aren't Christian KZreadrs addressing the fact of CHILDREN in the picture???!!! I've been struggling about what to do. Gf is an unbeliever and we just had a baby 2 months ago. I got called into the family of the Lord, but His grace, when she was about 7 months pregnant and living with me. Now I struggle. Lately, I've been falling into physical temptation. I'm convicted to leave. We can never marry because I'm divorced and she separated from her ex. I see no other way that is scripturally acceptable. Any thoughts? Thanks

  • @NoahBuie

    @NoahBuie

    3 жыл бұрын

    That makes me happy

  • @mandycampfens6703

    @mandycampfens6703

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@infinityinfinityinfi if you have a baby you should stay right to keep children clean. And if your partner is an unbeliever you should stay so they are sanctified by your faith and in the end could be saved. Maybe pray about it more ? 🙏❤️🌈

  • @burningheart2909
    @burningheart29096 жыл бұрын

    NOT living together is better because I have no obligation to the other across the board. Relationship not working out? Break the tie, not the lease.

  • @brandoncobb4646

    @brandoncobb4646

    5 жыл бұрын

    I mean.. You aren't NOT right but for a decade I lived with a few women 2 years each and... No fights. All laughs. Just.. at 2 years in, we woke up and split.

  • @sixteen.candles.4644

    @sixteen.candles.4644

    5 жыл бұрын

    Agreed.

  • @Christian_Girl120
    @Christian_Girl1206 жыл бұрын

    NO NO AND NO. I have been there and done that (I didn't get married to the guy), and it just caused a lot of heartbreak. Why buy the cow when the milk's free? STOP GIVING FREE MILK LADIES. It should be reserved for your husband. I never made it to marriage in my cases and I'm glad they didn't. They were the wrong people. Don't go through what I did.

  • @HenrySimmons1225

    @HenrySimmons1225

    2 ай бұрын

    Living with somebody isn't a sin.

  • @S.ENTERTENMENT

    @S.ENTERTENMENT

    2 ай бұрын

    @@HenrySimmons1225 its sin idiot

  • @majoriebasiima645

    @majoriebasiima645

    Ай бұрын

    Thank you for sharing

  • @lashandaallenredmon2109
    @lashandaallenredmon21093 жыл бұрын

    All of this is correct. Just do it God’s way. Save yourself the heartache. Do things God’s way. All things!! 🕊 ✨

  • @meeknotweak3

    @meeknotweak3

    3 жыл бұрын

    Amen!

  • @EvolvingBritt

    @EvolvingBritt

    2 жыл бұрын

    Amen

  • @Andrea01544

    @Andrea01544

    2 жыл бұрын

    I learned that the hard way

  • @originalmix2546

    @originalmix2546

    Жыл бұрын

    @@Andrea01544 would you share pls...even shortly? what Happened..💝

  • @Andrea01544

    @Andrea01544

    Жыл бұрын

    @@originalmix2546 a man and a woman coexisting is selling themselves short. It shows you dont respect each other without the marriage under god. Why by the cow when you get the milk for free. Playing house only lasts for so long most people even those who have children together will break up without marriage. This leads to broken families. Thats why its a must to be married. Even those without kids , it is disrespectful for the woman to play house without a real husband. Its basically a counterfeit and a dead end. Its also biblical and those that dont follow gods ways will find out on their own sadly. So its best to save yourself the grief and heartache and do it the lords way.

  • @saraandstuartshannon2160
    @saraandstuartshannon21603 жыл бұрын

    My husband and I lived together for two weeks before our church wedding. The reason was that we lived in different countries and already had civil marriage. However, even we lived together for those two weeks, we didn’t have sex until church wedding. I guess it depends what’s the reason for living together.

  • @HenrySimmons1225

    @HenrySimmons1225

    2 ай бұрын

    ​@@Minnesota_Central It's not a sin to live together before marriage as long as there is no sexual relations.

  • @Minnesota_Central

    @Minnesota_Central

    2 ай бұрын

    @@HenrySimmons1225 fair enough

  • @holyexperience1976

    @holyexperience1976

    2 ай бұрын

    ​@@HenrySimmons1225 If people assume you are when not, then that is on them. Just because someone thinks there is evil appearance, does not mean the evil is there. Just like, because a guy said hi to a woman does not mean anything is going on.

  • @sweetspirit3887
    @sweetspirit38877 жыл бұрын

    We got married after living together for a year cause God convicted our hearts not to live in sin. I actually dont want me and my husband to live in the same house without getting married. At the time i just have no choice but i just gotta be with him, economically and emotionally. But I'm glad we did the right thing after being convicted by the spirit of God.

  • @thebeatagp

    @thebeatagp

    7 жыл бұрын

    I'm very glad as well. I always say that no matter how far deep you've gotten into sin, God always honors a heart of repentance.

  • @tthomas

    @tthomas

    5 жыл бұрын

    @@thebeatagp yep

  • @znhait

    @znhait

    5 жыл бұрын

    I am happy you guys did get married, but it's ridiculous to say that you had no choice but to sin. That's just not a valid excuse. You would have been better off saying you didn't trust God enough to take care of you financially and emotionally, which is fine. We are all sinners, so there's no shame in saying that. But that was one instance of a Christian using emotion as a way to bypass God's commands.

  • @saiyongdawn7756

    @saiyongdawn7756

    4 жыл бұрын

    One of things the Holy Spirit does is convict. I'm living proof of that. But He does it to better us and our relationship with Him. Its all for the good of His ppl. Praise God!💝

  • @patsaxon5284

    @patsaxon5284

    4 жыл бұрын

    Couples today do not see as sinful to shacking up together, many couples continue do it regardless.

  • @christineelizabethhorner5829
    @christineelizabethhorner58295 жыл бұрын

    I lived with a man once. We ended up engaged. He cheated on me and left me very close to the wedding.

  • @sixteen.candles.4644

    @sixteen.candles.4644

    5 жыл бұрын

    Dang

  • @designercate

    @designercate

    4 жыл бұрын

    I'm sorry

  • @TrueCrimeTalkWithTaves

    @TrueCrimeTalkWithTaves

    2 жыл бұрын

    Oh hell naw

  • @HBudianu
    @HBudianu3 жыл бұрын

    Thank you for this vid. Too many people call conviction judgment or condemnation. But we actually need to honor marriage again. Without conviction there is no holiness. Conviction is good and we need a lot more of it.

  • @matthewheastan5178
    @matthewheastan51783 жыл бұрын

    I’m so thankful I watched this before going through with my plans of moving in with my girlfriend this summer. I’m trying to get back my relationship with God and it’s a struggle. I try to convince myself life is easier when I don’t have to worry about how God would like me to live my life and to be honest some of my stress has gone away when I don’t think about it but I know it’s satan putting these thoughts in my head.

  • @ajmittendorf
    @ajmittendorf5 жыл бұрын

    "Controversial" is almost a synonym with "Godliness," which is why Allen Parr's videos are controversial. I say, "Amen!"

  • @donnarobinson9021
    @donnarobinson90213 жыл бұрын

    I agree, We as Christian want to live for God but enjoying doing the things of this world. We either live for God all the way or live for this world because we cannot do both. Great message.

  • @meeknotweak3

    @meeknotweak3

    3 жыл бұрын

    Amen!

  • @shanelleellis2540

    @shanelleellis2540

    2 жыл бұрын

    So true

  • @elya77vlogs39
    @elya77vlogs394 жыл бұрын

    Living together after marriage is good in the sight of GOD. if you do that there is blessing you will recieved from the LORD.

  • @amberblack9587
    @amberblack95875 жыл бұрын

    Like my Aunt Kim used to say why but the cow when you can get the milk for free?

  • @mckey5445

    @mckey5445

    3 жыл бұрын

    You’re not allowed to milk a cow that you don’t own 😂

  • @TrueChristian
    @TrueChristian6 жыл бұрын

    I believe marriage is on Gods eyes and not the governments. So if you decide to live with someone you should only do so if you are planning to be married in God's eyes. My wife and I moved in once we decided to be married. So before the government recognized it we made a vow to God

  • @firemouth

    @firemouth

    6 жыл бұрын

    True Christian I feel the same way

  • @woundedheart3788

    @woundedheart3788

    5 жыл бұрын

    My husband and I did the same thing. We gave our relationship to Him and promised that we would never seperate. We got “officially” married 6 months later

  • @TheThreeSevens

    @TheThreeSevens

    5 жыл бұрын

    If we read our Bibles, we know that God sets up government. Not only that, He commands us to follow the laws of the land. As concerns marriage, in the Bible the saints first courted, then got married, then came together as one...not the other way around. If this weren't the case, then why is fornication forbidden???

  • @charlottewebb8223

    @charlottewebb8223

    5 жыл бұрын

    I did the same thing with my husband. We made a vow together, but God quickly revealed to us that we had to get married legally too. It is important to pray about it and understand that God also wants us to follow the laws. You don't have to have a full blown wedding, but you can get married at a courthouse for about $100 and I'm sure God will provide if money is an issue.

  • @charlottewebb8223

    @charlottewebb8223

    5 жыл бұрын

    @@TheThreeSevens exactly.

  • @charlottewebb8223
    @charlottewebb82235 жыл бұрын

    My situation was really tough. I've been moving from house to house and ended up with my GPA who is an extremely messy, dirty, hoarder. I love him, but man. I got so sick living there I had to go to the hospital. My fiancé at the time would visit me there sometimes, so his Gma got suspicious about where I lived, she came unexpectedly and FREAKED out because she is extremely Godly and felt so bad I had to live there. She took me in, which meant I had to live with my fiancé. It was nice to live with him because I really got to figure out who he really was, though I wouldn't suggest this to anyone!! We got married shortly after, and I admit we did fornicate even before we got engaged. It was extremely hard to deal with and I should've looked for more support during that time. On our wedding day we repented one last time with tears in our eyes. It was a pretty crazy ride and I wanna cry even thinking about it lol. But I wouldn't ever support couples living together before marriage unless they want to be extremely tempted, all the time. Not worth it.

  • @JonelleElise
    @JonelleElise4 жыл бұрын

    I totally agree with you! People do it because everyone else is doing it but we’re not to be like this world. Also, like you mentioned, a lot of men want to do it just to have sex with a woman...but why would a Christian woman not value herself more and make him wait? If he really loves her like he claims he does, he would do the necessary step of marrying her first before he can get the benefits of marriage.

  • @jessicahamilton3314

    @jessicahamilton3314

    4 жыл бұрын

    Girl, preach! The men are doing it to have a steady stream of sex on demand. Period. And the wonen are thinking these men are soo in-love with them. No they are not. You're already out of the will of God and probably can't hear God soeaking ro you while in the midst of fornication

  • @JonelleElise

    @JonelleElise

    4 жыл бұрын

    Shanel Johnson Exactly! These guys getting ALL KIND of benefits for FREE...he’s not going to value what he didn’t have to earn or work for.

  • @HenrySimmons1225

    @HenrySimmons1225

    2 ай бұрын

    It is not at all a sin to live in the house as each other before marriage.

  • @JMKrech
    @JMKrech4 жыл бұрын

    Thank you for posting this video! I thought it was very helpful and you made some great points! I fully agree with you Allen! This really solidified my belief that is in agreement with what you said! Thank you and God bless you!

  • @kitdeu4725
    @kitdeu47256 жыл бұрын

    This was excellent! I'm going to show it to my Bible study tomorrow. Thank you and keep speaking truth!

  • @thebeatagp

    @thebeatagp

    6 жыл бұрын

    Thanks so much Kit Deu, I'm so glad you found it helpful! Thanks again for taking the time to watch. God bless Kit Deu,

  • @clintfleenor8297
    @clintfleenor82974 жыл бұрын

    I agree 100%. Love watching your videos. Have learned from them.

  • @kathynunez9595
    @kathynunez95953 жыл бұрын

    thank you for pointing out that women and men have 2 very different views about it. females are not cars, they should not be "test driven" .

  • @alexguerra1668

    @alexguerra1668

    3 жыл бұрын

    RIGHT, like, “first of all.”

  • @alexguerra1668
    @alexguerra16683 жыл бұрын

    I clicked on this video bc currently I am living with my fiancé and father of my child. It was only last year that I was born again and just last summer that I was convicted of having sex before marriage. At that point we had just moved into an apartment together that was a gift from his loving and hard working mom. When I brought up to my partner that we should wait until marriage he actually agreed and, just like that, we abstained from sex and have been abstinent since... We also have both agreed that living together with and for a child is far different from living together just to be together, especially since having to focus on parenting makes it incredibly easy to not be tempted. At least for us, that’s been the case. So basically, I’m wondering what input I might get on this. He and I have previously discussed thoughts on living apart and concluded that we’d be putting our child at a disadvantage, and that it also just makes sense to stay put since we plan to marry in just a few months anyway (now: literally. It’s right around the corner), not to mention, there aren’t a whole bunch of people who even know we’re living together. I’ve told family about our abstinence and got congratulated. My side is mostly Catholic and that news for them is already wildly strange for them to witness. Thoughts welcome.

  • @evanlittle114
    @evanlittle1143 жыл бұрын

    Thank you for promoting the sacred bond of marriage and traditional values

  • @Jurtexual
    @Jurtexual3 жыл бұрын

    Another topic in which you did not disappoint and used the skills of communication the Holy Spirit made available to you. May our Lord and Savior continue to use you for Kingdom work.

  • @saiyongdawn7756
    @saiyongdawn77564 жыл бұрын

    The Holy Spirit keeps me in check, that's enough for me. 💝

  • @shareofmoney
    @shareofmoney7 жыл бұрын

    Awesome video. Thanks for your godly wisdom.

  • @Cherryb45265
    @Cherryb452653 жыл бұрын

    I was with my partner 16 years wasa Christian but now I repented we chose not to have sex anymore till marriage we get married at 22 Dec this year he accepted Jesus ask me to marry him, we are blessed with beautiful children, but we repented and are raising are family as children and living under the lord my husband to be is growing in his love for Jesus and leading my family as a Christian it's a great relationship, but now we fallow the lord are life is a blessing

  • @sputmon79
    @sputmon798 жыл бұрын

    Interesting... very helpful. I pray that God keeps us strong. :-)

  • @thebeatagp

    @thebeatagp

    8 жыл бұрын

    +Salina Putmon thanks!

  • @focusinc4266

    @focusinc4266

    5 жыл бұрын

    Our reasons vary for not getting married (yet) so take the time and embrace and make a vow with a witness or 2 and hold on to that until you get the certificate. Be just as true as you WILL BE when the big day comes.

  • @idaraassam9676
    @idaraassam96762 жыл бұрын

    I've been battling myself for a while now but I think I know what's right and wrong now although I need all your prayers. Thank you, God bless

  • @jodeedugger7570
    @jodeedugger75703 жыл бұрын

    Oh my goodness I will never live with a boyfriend again... I have not since my late teens early 20’s....

  • @hectorsalazar1975
    @hectorsalazar19757 жыл бұрын

    well said sir. this is all the way live whether you are a Believer or not it says so in the studies

  • @thebeatagp

    @thebeatagp

    7 жыл бұрын

    Thanks Hector! Thanks for sharing bro!

  • @brianbenton5935
    @brianbenton59356 жыл бұрын

    Very helpful videos. I get a lot out of them. Thank you so much.

  • @GodfavoredChild8049
    @GodfavoredChild80494 жыл бұрын

    I love this message was very helpful..i needed this..

  • @roxiereign
    @roxiereign2 жыл бұрын

    This may of been posted in 2016 and I'm just finding it now, but it's answered so many of my questions. I just want to do right by God and honor Him in every way, including through romantic relationships.

  • @rosewhitely5617
    @rosewhitely56173 жыл бұрын

    Thank you for the wisdom man ❤️

  • @aj578
    @aj5783 жыл бұрын

    I feel like I'm in this predicament, and I want to leave cause I can feel it. But covid has closed a lot of places and I can't seem to catch a break on jobs. But other than that I get depressed real bad I definitely feel the conviction.

  • @darellkrysie6081

    @darellkrysie6081

    3 жыл бұрын

    God will bless your obedience ••

  • @tuesday8418
    @tuesday84186 жыл бұрын

    i really like that format of your videos "Q&A" it keeps me personally interested and i wish more ppl would watch ty for helping me and letting me see things in a new way

  • @aramintawilliams5205
    @aramintawilliams52055 жыл бұрын

    Thank you so much took the words out of my mouth!

  • @behindblueeyes1511
    @behindblueeyes15116 жыл бұрын

    Thank you so helpful and worded wonderfully

  • @jowurani
    @jowurani4 жыл бұрын

    Brilliant video many thanks

  • @celiwemalindi
    @celiwemalindi2 жыл бұрын

    Thank you so much for the video. Your videos has helped me so much than going to church on Sunday lol.

  • @karenhughes8160
    @karenhughes81604 жыл бұрын

    The Bible clearly says the marriage bed is undefiled. The Bible definitely speaks on it.

  • @philipbuckley759
    @philipbuckley7596 жыл бұрын

    well you made your point...in the first few minutes.....it does not work....

  • @thebeatagp

    @thebeatagp

    6 жыл бұрын

    Thanks so much Philip Buckley! God bless,

  • @zekemol2020
    @zekemol20203 жыл бұрын

    Even if you do not live together ... when you get married you still have a 54% chance of getting divorce ..! So it’s either 46% chance of breaking up if you live together or 54% chance of divorce .... either way the outcome are still bad for both ...

  • @ashafreeman2730

    @ashafreeman2730

    3 жыл бұрын

    no it's 46% more likely not just a 46% chance

  • @ruthwilson5515
    @ruthwilson55154 жыл бұрын

    Great video!!!!!!!

  • @aliciaclark1916
    @aliciaclark19162 жыл бұрын

    Thanks Brother!👍🏻

  • @Mrs.Love1
    @Mrs.Love17 жыл бұрын

    Well said. Thanks.

  • @SonicBoomC98
    @SonicBoomC983 жыл бұрын

    This has been the end of a few relationships. Women trying to force the issue of living together just really a big turn-off for me. He is right about women thinking it's some stepping stone to marriage. What I don't understand why men don't see that and nip it in the bud before it goes the wrong way. Outside of a short-term financial crisis with a celibate couple, I would not even consider it. Living together setups unreasonable expectations. It can also kind of make you burn out on each other. Not to mention there will always be a little bit of resentment if one person feels like the other person was pushing it more

  • @blairf7118

    @blairf7118

    2 жыл бұрын

    Spot on...the true expectations I feel are rarely discussed and ppl just make that step without having real conversations or at least a someone tentative plan for the future..just sharing a space, sex and vibes Its bound to end in heartbreak if one sees living together as a stepping stone to a marriage that isnt even on the mind of the other person

  • @brittanyb2875

    @brittanyb2875

    Жыл бұрын

    I had men pressure me to move in with them, actually. I was the one saying, no. I do agree with you that now it's kind of expected to just do it. Many Christians I've met do this, so when men have dated me, who were Christians, expected it like in 3 months. I'm serious. I just don't see logic to it, just pure feelings.

  • @SonicBoomC98

    @SonicBoomC98

    Жыл бұрын

    @@brittanyb2875 People pressuring someone to move in or have a baby are suspect to me

  • @jenapettigrew2962
    @jenapettigrew29623 жыл бұрын

    Men doesn't have any respect for his girlfriend while they are living together. When it comes to her as a person and her body. WHY would that men get married when he is having all the sex that he wants???

  • @HenrySimmons1225

    @HenrySimmons1225

    2 ай бұрын

    Living together doesn't mean that. It isn't a sin at all to live in the same house as each other as long as there's no sexual relations.

  • @CrazyGamerDragon64
    @CrazyGamerDragon646 жыл бұрын

    I'm requesting prayers, someone close to me is in this situation (a Christian who is living with their significant other without being married) & while I trust them that they aren't doing anything sexual together the fact that they are living together is wrong, both my sister & I have communicated this to the person in question but they say they live together for financial reasons. I want all of my loved ones to be saved & we are all together in Heaven when we die so I am begging for prayers for this person.

  • @ranip7644

    @ranip7644

    4 жыл бұрын

    You sound like you're questioning this person's salvation just because they live with their SO, when you don't even think they're sleeping together. Well I'm actually in this situation myself. I live with my boyfriend, but we're not sexually active. We met as roommates and then we started dating. We didn't set that up ourselves, it just happened, and I believe God put us together. It is a struggle not to be intimate so I wouldn't recommend it to anyone, but since we aren't having sex, what we're doing is not sinful.

  • @ronaldbowman4998
    @ronaldbowman49985 жыл бұрын

    I’m a Christian and my significant other is also a Christian. We live together, but I felt convicted about our living arrangements and decided to live in separate rooms with no sex. And because we were not getting along I thought this would be best. And so far it is working for us. It’s like we are friends at this point and not girl friend and boy friend. My church said it was ok to be together, I thought better of it by thinking first about my salvation. Financial reasons does come into play here, and now I’m that much clearer on this topic thanks.

  • @aimeebibletruth
    @aimeebibletruth3 жыл бұрын

    You gave the right view

  • @uknoyogirl
    @uknoyogirl3 ай бұрын

    This is honestly to each its own relationship with God. I know a couple that live together for a year before marriage and they made it work been married for 35 years and I see nothing but God working through them. No they are not perfect but to see a real definition oh love, honor, and respect is a beautiful thing. I believe God works through us differently and just because people on the outside may judge that will not stop any blessings that God has in store for a person. No one on this earth can claim to righteously judge if they are still living in some sort of sin themselves. No one on this earth will ever be sinless, but you can strive towards it.

  • @joyfulnessfrmwithin4931
    @joyfulnessfrmwithin49316 жыл бұрын

    What do you do if your already living together yet God is convicting one and not the other? And still not ready for marriage?

  • @vassilissadungern-sternber4145

    @vassilissadungern-sternber4145

    5 жыл бұрын

    pray for the other

  • @sixteen.candles.4644

    @sixteen.candles.4644

    5 жыл бұрын

    Leave. I almost moved in with my ex and god convicted my heart and i didnt do it and it was for the best I didnt as he confessed to never loving me in the first place.

  • @jessicahamilton3314

    @jessicahamilton3314

    4 жыл бұрын

    The one he's comvicting has the Holy Spirit. The one who isn't being convicted is a demonic distraction and needs to be removed out of your life. Walk away from such a person who cause you to sin and be out of the Will of God. He's there for the sex. If he wanted to be your husband he would have already done so

  • @Clemmons777

    @Clemmons777

    4 жыл бұрын

    As Christians, we don’t have to pray about or “be convicted” on anything that the Bible is clear on. Fornication is clearly against God’s will for all of us. I would have serious doubts about the condition of someone’s heart if they needed more proof than “just” the Bible.

  • @lovemercyministry1915

    @lovemercyministry1915

    2 жыл бұрын

    Let me add something...the Bible also says, flee from every appearance of evil.

  • @jinorriwilson4196
    @jinorriwilson41964 жыл бұрын

    Man, this vid is so underated...

  • @andreaforest7788
    @andreaforest77884 жыл бұрын

    I have a question. what if it is to late and you already have children with the person before marriage and also living together? Do you separate? I would love your input.

  • @bonniewesselhoff6243

    @bonniewesselhoff6243

    4 жыл бұрын

    This is a great question. Have you looked for counseling from a solid Bible believing pastor? I think your question deserves more than a quick answer here. And there are do many good questions behind it. Are you planning to commit to marriage? Then why wait on following through? Are you still undecided? Then why continue "testing" the relationship in uncertainty in front of the kids? Have you both prayed and asked God to show you his will for you both and for the kids? You deserve wise counsel. I wish you and your kids the joy of walking close in God's ways.

  • @DeJai237
    @DeJai2375 жыл бұрын

    Had a GF that lost her job. Family was not living in the same state. The church she paid tithes to (tithes is a whole other subject) would not help her. I said she could live with me until she got in her feet. Guess who had a problem with it? Her church. Guess who would not help her in any way? Her church.

  • @NaturallyFabulous94

    @NaturallyFabulous94

    4 жыл бұрын

    DeJai Jones wow, hypocrites

  • @valarieford8417
    @valarieford84175 жыл бұрын

    I never lived with a man I was thinking about it with my ex God didn't want it to happen so the relationship ended he was older than me most men who have been a long time don't want to remarry he was jealous of me anyway he didn't have friends he didn't have a social life like me many times woman live with men and they get married to someone else it's not worth it

  • @angelmd43
    @angelmd435 жыл бұрын

    I believe you can live together if you are engaged and have no other place to live but just don't have sex until marriage.Not too many can do that though so I suggest marrying as soon as possible.

  • @jessicahamilton3314

    @jessicahamilton3314

    4 жыл бұрын

    You can believe what you want. But the Bible clearly sates not to fornicate. No if or buts. Don't do it. Get married.

  • @tonytherussianlol9299
    @tonytherussianlol92993 жыл бұрын

    I live with my fiance because financial reasons, we were living in sin and prideful but stoped it all together and encourage eachother. Our teacher is of jewish descent and is saved through the Lord Jesus Christ, teaches us and checks on us every week. We do not believe in divorce and my slavic values that i retained and christian values i believe i am already married because i made a foolish mistake of sexual immorality. I defend my actions of abstinence against my own mother whom is not proud when i told her its been 2 months im working on repentance. I was shamed in front of her and i felt blest because God is with me. Its all about control and prayer. I do not drink alcohol for the reason that it will cause me to fall. And we are not to get married or have sex again until we get out of my parents roof because that is the way it should be. I appreciate your input and teaching. I watch it everyday.

  • @deborahsmith27
    @deborahsmith272 жыл бұрын

    So what do you do when the relationship was started on the wrong terms, you change your life for God remain abstinent, have five kids and plan on being married....should we still separate until we marry?

  • @patsaxon5284
    @patsaxon52844 жыл бұрын

    I know of many couples who are living together without being married. There are those who finally get married after living together after 10 years. But people do not care what christians has to say. My brother and his wife had lived together before getting married and after 30 years, yes they are still married.

  • @GloriaVSimon-ro7nn

    @GloriaVSimon-ro7nn

    4 жыл бұрын

    He did say "5 out of 6" ur brother and his wife is the one out of every 6 live in couples.

  • @Joey-xy9qw
    @Joey-xy9qw Жыл бұрын

    my parents lived together after they got married. but growing up i heard many disapproval and complaints from both sides of my parents. my mum even told me she is very worried about how life will be after retirement, for fear/dread of having to deal with my dad 24/7. so this made me quite concerned about the issue of living tgt before marriage. they would have worked these out before they decided to get married, or even found a better partner. what should i do in the future with my s/o? i’m worried about gg down the same path as my parents

  • @mrs.tonyar.williams3891
    @mrs.tonyar.williams38916 жыл бұрын

    Righteous!!!

  • @kateperez4369
    @kateperez43697 жыл бұрын

    My boyfriend and his parents preferred Me and my boyfriend to move in first before getting married... but deep down I don't want that... also my parents... I've met many people that moved in but never proceed the marriage. I want to get married in the future...

  • @rosebeanvalentine7725

    @rosebeanvalentine7725

    5 жыл бұрын

    Don't do it. If he was a real man he would not want you to compromise your beliefs.

  • @vassilissadungern-sternber4145

    @vassilissadungern-sternber4145

    5 жыл бұрын

    don't do it , if he is the man that god planned for you , he'll wait

  • @laninaclay6276

    @laninaclay6276

    4 жыл бұрын

    I know plenty of people who live together, have kids and engaged. They've been engaged for 20 yrs and less. I call that forever engaged.

  • @niks8521

    @niks8521

    4 жыл бұрын

    DO NOT DO IT! A MAN needs to be able to provide a roof over your head AFTER he puts a ring on your finger. He shouldn't be ok with moving in to anywhere unless it is a home that HE worked for....but yes, get married

  • @premaa8027
    @premaa80275 жыл бұрын

    Grt teaching

  • @CRaul87
    @CRaul875 жыл бұрын

    Thank you!

  • @claudiajalloh5044
    @claudiajalloh50442 жыл бұрын

    Am happy to know that it really a bad idear to stay with a man before marriage

  • @professorpapi6027
    @professorpapi60273 жыл бұрын

    I’m currently living with my girlfriend it’s been 3 years now. Yes we have had sex. I’ve devoted my life to Jesus now. And I’m turning away from sin as best as I can. I pray to god multiple times a day. I talk to Jesus all the time. God fills me with his Holy Spirit. I read his word daily. I love it. So because I have changed. I told my girlfriend that we can no longer have sex until marriage comes. She was mad at first then accepted it.

  • @professorpapi6027

    @professorpapi6027

    3 жыл бұрын

    I don’t have sexual thoughts about my girlfriend I don’t have the urge to have sex. And now we aren’t having sex. We’re just 2 people living together that love each other with nothing physical going on. People talk about it’s a sin because they always go to the fact you’re having sex. But we’re not now and I’ve repented. Then people bring up the fact when other people see it. They’ll think you’re having sex because you live together. But doesn’t god say that it’s a sin to judge other people ? Making assumptions about something they know nothing about is still a sin.

  • @ricabulletproof3560

    @ricabulletproof3560

    3 жыл бұрын

    Get married or let her find her husband

  • @feliciafry2070
    @feliciafry20707 жыл бұрын

    what if you have two kids and arnt merried? one is spiritually mature and the other isn't. no resentment, no grudges, no hate, just love and forgiveness. one just got saved. the other is spiritually mature. lived together for 11 years. had sex with one another one week after getting together. friends since 4th grade. got together After High School. have no intention on splitting up. need prayers for getting married. both want to marry. is this okay?

  • @hectorsalazar1975

    @hectorsalazar1975

    5 жыл бұрын

    It is crucial that you move into marriage quickly once you have received knowledge of this

  • @Emyleeasmr
    @Emyleeasmr3 жыл бұрын

    I am 1 min in and I want to say this. I thought both ways. 1 more likely to have sex but 2 for example you find out they are a pig or they are abusive in many ways. I think its 50/50

  • @elinoelemperador777
    @elinoelemperador7773 жыл бұрын

    Me and my partner had a baby and living in together for almost 1yr. We still dont have a budget to get married but we consider ourselves as husband and wife. Is there such thing as married in the eyes of God? Since back in the days there were no ceremonials and events etc.? And as long as we stay faithful to each other i think we are not commiting sexual immorality since marriage is just a piece of paper but most important is we are faithful. Any comments on this Bro Allan? Thank you. ❤️

  • @hannahrobertson1774

    @hannahrobertson1774

    2 жыл бұрын

    Thank you for bringing this point up! My fiancé and I feel the same way in terms of we are committed and made vows before God and that we will spend the rest of our lives with each other. We just need the ceremony as well. Finically we are not in a great place to make plans for that yet. I think this video had a lot to do with motive and the heart behind it why people live together before marriage. And I completely agree if its because to "test" run that is NOT a biblical thing to do. I think if both parties have made commitments, that is most important part and a back door is not an option whats the difference? I think your asking; do you need a ceremony to be married, and I think that is a great question I am trying to figure out myself. When American slaves got married they had to do it in secret because it was not aloud for them. Most likely they had no ceremony. Do you think God honored those marriages? Absolute. I believed God did. I don't like how hard going through the process of marriage is. I wish marriage ceremonies weren't so darn completed but they are. And as Paul said it is better to be married than burn with passion. So I do agree with you Elineol. I consider my fiancé to be my husband and he considers me has his wife. We just need to go through all the logistics stuff that sadly take a lot of time. Let me know what you think.

  • @kellykelz423

    @kellykelz423

    Жыл бұрын

    Yeah I'm in the same boat. Are you guys legally married yet?

  • @godiswithyou3653
    @godiswithyou36533 жыл бұрын

    So in 1 Kings 1 When David was old and the blankets couldn’t keep him warm, the people made a search all over Israel to find a girl to keep him warm in bed and take care of him, but they did not have sex. Is that a sin? And if king David was able to do that, why is it wrong if other people to do that?

  • @claireunathidube103
    @claireunathidube1034 жыл бұрын

    What if when you are living with 4 or more friends .... in university for financial reasons and being together as friends and you are all Christian

  • @elijahmurphy8142
    @elijahmurphy81422 жыл бұрын

    What if you have a kid but you’ve been saved after the fact but you’ve been abstaining and now made her your fiancée and are moving in together so be closer together as a family?

  • @roylaurencegalenzoga1487
    @roylaurencegalenzoga14876 жыл бұрын

    What if a couple living together for financial reason, but there is no physical contact like married couples do.?

  • @ikepotts3673

    @ikepotts3673

    5 жыл бұрын

    Joshe Limongco 4:00

  • @niks8521

    @niks8521

    4 жыл бұрын

    Lol. TRY it and you'll see for yourself. Just go ahead & save yourself the heartache. Dont do it for WHATEVER reason

  • @vadamsable
    @vadamsable3 жыл бұрын

    I have an old relationship with someone. We live in different states. I have never subscribed to "shacking". I can't get to know him from far away. I made it clear I am no longer sleeping with anybody who is NOT my husband. If I had a spare room, I wondered if it would work if we slept in different rooms, but I think NO, even if there's no sex. I'm sure his willpower will give out. Also the appearance of impropriety as a Christian woman is not good.

  • @johnnieblack1061
    @johnnieblack10612 жыл бұрын

    What does stats have to do with right & wrong??? 🤷🏾‍♂️

  • @voriskinlaw9775
    @voriskinlaw97752 жыл бұрын

    You Cannot/Willnot/Shallnot Be Blessed When Shacking; Forget It!!!!

  • @jonathanyeong324
    @jonathanyeong3242 жыл бұрын

    This is an important issue

  • @BobbieBeaut
    @BobbieBeaut7 жыл бұрын

    Allen, why do you think we emphasize things like this and homosexuality but not other things in the Bible like not wearing certain blends, eating shellfish & women covering their heads when they pray? What makes one more relevant than the other? ... Looking forward to your wisdom!

  • @flamingrobin5957

    @flamingrobin5957

    6 жыл бұрын

    the jewish laws applied to jews........morality that is repeated in the new testament are for believers......christians are free to eat any food because it is sanctified by prayer and faith under teh blood covenant of Grace through JESUS...christians are not under the law......especially jewish food laws and ceremonial laws. Gentiles dont have the law they have a new nature as born again believers have the holy spirit inside them giving them righteousness by faith. they need to external governance . Jesus gave new laws.....love God and love your neighbor.

  • @flamingrobin5957

    @flamingrobin5957

    6 жыл бұрын

    Expel the Immoral Brother …10I was not including the sexually immoral of this world, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters. In that case you would have to leave this world. 11But now I am writing you not to associate with anyone who claims to be a brother but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or a verbal abuser, a drunkard or a swindler. With such a man do not even eat. 12What business of mine is it to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside?…

  • @jayknight139

    @jayknight139

    6 жыл бұрын

    the KBiv way what ever is emphasized is in direct correlation with what that society values or what the leaders of that society values.

  • @znhait

    @znhait

    5 жыл бұрын

    The only thing I hope is that you're coming at this from a place of sincerity rather than one that is dwelt by atheists and anti-bible activists. If you are coming at this from the right place, I'd say there is a difference between sinning because of our nature and willfully sinning. Someone who is a homosexual is willfully rebelling against God. In other words, the person is sinning without being repentant. Women who don't cover their heads while praying probably don't even know about that scripture. It's not an excuse, but that's why we ask God to forgive us for the sins that we don't even know we're committing.

  • @JOLLYROGE007

    @JOLLYROGE007

    Жыл бұрын

    @@flamingrobin5957 what a bunch of twisted lies. All scripture is inspired and good for instruction, not just bits and pieces.

  • @boxingchampfd
    @boxingchampfd2 жыл бұрын

    I sleep with my woman, feed up with trying to say no. Saying no to her didn't stop the lust in my heart.

  • @paulrajtubes
    @paulrajtubes Жыл бұрын

    *We all know Bible has no reference at all about wedding ceremony in church or anywhere. No wedding ring or marriage vows or marriage certificate mentioned in the Bible. Old Testament and New Testament. What if a man and woman take a pledge among themselves and start living together, have sex and love one another Biblically in all respects? Are not they married in the sight of God? Did I tell you most couples despite having had church weddings, marriage certificates, wedding rings, live separated (though not divorced by law), live as divorced? Biblically God sees what you are in your married life in heart and deeds, despite not having all government and church proofs*

  • @focusinc4266
    @focusinc42665 жыл бұрын

    Rom12 1-2. . do you feel you have conformed at all?

  • @crystaldblevins
    @crystaldblevins7 жыл бұрын

    Great Video. I just subscribed.

  • @thebeatagp

    @thebeatagp

    7 жыл бұрын

    Thank you so much! I appreciate every new member to this BEAT community!

  • @andrewweeks3938
    @andrewweeks3938 Жыл бұрын

    My girlfriend and I live in the second most expensive city to live in the U.S. We each have separate bedrooms and have not had sex and we are committed to that until marriage. Now, we have to split our income: she has to figure out how to maintain the lease she is on and I have to find a place to live that is affordable. Unfortunately, that will be about 60 minutes away... at least. You didn't even touch on the cost of living and did not cite your "studies". Thank you for the extra levels of poverty.

  • @josecontreras2997
    @josecontreras2997 Жыл бұрын

    Just because you 2 get along don't necessarily mean you will get along living together with no experience. I don't care what anyone says on that.

  • @Buzzity
    @Buzzity4 жыл бұрын

    What if the couple is engaged and don’t have sex while living together?

  • @sabrinabecckford2025

    @sabrinabecckford2025

    3 жыл бұрын

    Still wouldn't recommend it, however if u r string enough to resist temptation it may work. However speak to the most High for guidance always

  • @cmayy8317
    @cmayy83173 жыл бұрын

    For so God so loved the world that he gave he’s only son for so whoever believes him shall not perish but have eternal life Amen, may God’s grace be with y’all🙏🏾😁

  • @jake_carrillo
    @jake_carrillo5 жыл бұрын

    Allen, I have rededicated my life to Christ and ready to serve the lord and repent from sin. Since then I was convicted and I started making arrangements in my home such as teaching my daughter about who the lord is and prayer, I threw out my marijuana pipe because I to be filled with the Holy Spirit, tossed out ungodly things in my life, etc. my fiancé and I live together with our 2 children (3 years old and 5 months old). It was hard but we agreed to remain abstinent until our wedding night which is in July. I don’t fully feel that I am living in sin but sometimes I’m skeptical. I don’t want to think I’m okay but in reality I’m not okay with God... my Fiancé believes in God and Satan, Heaven and Hell but she does not quite understand the covenant of Jesus Christ and the cross. she is very open and supportive of my new transformation. She even bought me a bible. I don’t want her to turn away from this and cause resentment between her and God and I feel that leaving my home will create issues. We started living together 4 years ago with my mom because she got pregnant both agreeing to raise this child. I feel as the father and provider I still need to be present and be by her side in raising our kids and teaching her more about the gospel. I know this may be tricky one to answer but would appreciate your opinion. I admire your teaching. Thank you brother. God bless

  • @paulpupuhi6503

    @paulpupuhi6503

    5 жыл бұрын

    Hey bro What an inspiration in the story you shared.. Bro I want to congrat you on making an important and right decision in ur life!!! I encourage you to stay the course God has presented to you..it will not be easy but keep ur eyes on Jesus! no matter how life try to shake you I hope to hear an update and it goes well! God Bless Bro Paul

  • @jake_carrillo

    @jake_carrillo

    5 жыл бұрын

    @@paulpupuhi6503 Thank you for your encouragement. God bless you.

  • @jessinicole7998
    @jessinicole79982 жыл бұрын

    Millenial just don’t have that luxury as yesteryear . My boyfriend is coming on a student visa. I live in Chicago. Our goal is to live apart after his arrival but inflation is everywhere. God knows our hearts and knows the world we live in.

  • @niks8521
    @niks85214 жыл бұрын

    What else does "shacking up" mean? It means fornicating under one roof before marriage. What does "roommate" mean? Just that! People living together under one roof, right? BUT, the Bible teaches that we shouldn't letbour goods be evil spoken of. So Biblically, shacking up is NOT acceptable b4 marriage. Ain't no 2 people who have feelings for each other living together under one roof not being tempted to have sex. If they haven't already, it's coming unless somebody moves out.

  • @jessicahamilton3314

    @jessicahamilton3314

    4 жыл бұрын

    Exactly. Folks have soo many excuses. And ultimately they're just shacking up to have a steady stream of sex on demand without wanting an accountability. Fornication is a sin that drives you further and further away from the Will of the Father.

  • @niks8521

    @niks8521

    4 жыл бұрын

    @@jessicahamilton3314 exactly!

  • @darcydelano7611
    @darcydelano76113 жыл бұрын

    I'm a disabled woman I live with my disabled boyfriend sex is not going on. We are committed to one another and won't bail out of our relationship. It alot of work. Our problem is one of us has strong medical needs.we would loose the medical rents are to hard to afford in maine. We need a two bedroom and it is two thousand or more. We need each other or we wouldn't survive .just worry everyday if we did have sex even one time we will not go to heaven. The government is something else we cannot get married or no medical and no medicine. This is what has taken me away from the church. And I could get foodstamps if my boyfriend and I wrote letters saying we eat separately. For almost 400 a month. That is crazy and we won't do it. I want to be married to him but I can't. We our in our hearts. Any advice you could give us or we going to hell.? ANY ADVICE FOR ME?

  • @pamelabible3813
    @pamelabible38135 жыл бұрын

    Slick slacking 😂 so true

  • @christan5598
    @christan55982 жыл бұрын

    Allen, I hope you will reply to my question. Thank you.

  • @shaniaround2795
    @shaniaround27954 жыл бұрын

    What if the girlfriend/boyfriend got kicked out of home and had no where else to go but their partners house? Plus not having a job

  • @Angelalex242

    @Angelalex242

    3 жыл бұрын

    You're better off in a homeless shelter than hell. Cleave to your convictions.

  • @jessicalee1718
    @jessicalee17184 жыл бұрын

    But does marriage give the husband free reign to do whatever he pleases? "This is okay bc we are married and you are here bc God gave you to me and you can't deny me". This is just a question I cannot answer.

  • @toadynamite8141

    @toadynamite8141

    4 жыл бұрын

    Actually you have to remember, the husband's body also belongs to the wife, meaning she has say over his body too, so there's equality since they are now 1

  • @durevergsquintana625
    @durevergsquintana6255 жыл бұрын

    I'm afraid to do this thats why im watching this video

  • @deborahministries2213
    @deborahministries22135 жыл бұрын

    Very true. Unfortunately, This trend of living together before marriage prevails much among the people who know Christ than those who don't know the true God.Surely Bible neither support "living together before marriage" nor "love marriage" b it Jacob and Rachel

  • @soccerstar1783
    @soccerstar17832 жыл бұрын

    I'm at number 1 nomore strategy everyday we are growing stronger 1 day we will get married thanks to God