Shame is one of the most challenging feelings because it affects our self-esteem and makes us want to hide. We develop shame in our childhood through our relationship with our attachment figures. When we cannot feel connected to them, we think that the problem is with us. Maybe we are unlovable and defective. We feel ashamed of who we are and our need to feel loved, connected, and important to our attachment figures.
Shame is extremely painful. When we feel it, we want to hide or disappear. We are afraid of being seen because we believe that people are interested in finding fault with us. It becomes difficult to be vulnerable and show up as we are.