A friend of mine goes so far as to post pictures of herself crying. In her car, on a hike etc. followed by a long diatribe of over sharing. I left social media 4 years ago to save myself and my relatives from a time capsule of cringe in the future. My legacy 😂

@simones9365

4 жыл бұрын

Emily - sounds like your friend doesn’t have anyone to listen to her. Or maybe she just wants to be an actress 😆

@allenm4947

4 жыл бұрын

That's disturbing

@mvyt787

4 жыл бұрын

I'm curious about people who do this too?? Unless they're genuinely distressed about something at some point, or are having a mental break down kind of just crying out for help, why do people do this? What's the reasoning behind this or the justification in their minds that it doesn't just look crazily self absorbed? I've seen a few social media users, some semi famous, who are going out into the real world after quarantine and filming themselves crying majestic beautiful tears down the barrel of the camera .. and I know I'm sounding cynical at this point about this genuinely moving scenario right now and there is definitely something genuinely moving about the idea.. but the videos I've seen in particular have not been genuine at all and just icked me out tremendously. I get the vibe that the people selfy-ing this type of stuff might feel like they're going down in history as the equivalent of 'The Napalm Girl' photo or the image and statue of the marines raising the flag at Iwo Jima or something.. anyone else?

@lichoscar

3 жыл бұрын

I know people who do this too, it’s so weird to me to see the kind of stuff some people post, yet many seem to think it’s normal. I’ve seen ppl post the same selfie every day (new picture, same angle, same generic “morning vibes” message) or as you say, multiple IG stories of them crying about something, or a bunch of other cringey scenarios. As someone born in the 80s, it becomes increasingly strange to me how this urge to be seen gets worse with time, with Tik Tok challenges, singing challenges, you name it. There should be more to life than constantly posting your “life”.

@ladybaabaa3294

3 жыл бұрын

I find this really interesting. I think some people feel really alone, so they over-share to anonymous people to blurt out their feelings. Other people may not feel alone per se, but they feel they have to put on a facade or always act ok with the people in their lives, so they show their "other side" more anonymously online. Then there's the phenomenon of many ex-famous people who, once people lose interest in them, kind of go off the rails and actively go overboard to keep sharing themselves, seeking out people to notice and be interested again. THEN there's the other phenomenon of people doing dangerous things like jumping off skyscrapers, or "planking" in risky environments or positions whilst filming it (by themselves). My opinion on that is that those people were able to get up the courage to undertake those dangerous activities because they were "not alone". They were on film, even if no one else was around. But (assuming nothing horrible happens), people WILL be seeing it. So...I film / photograph myself, and thus, I am. I exist. I am not alone.

I do think NARCISSISM is growing in our culture.

@frankenz66

4 жыл бұрын

So many avenues of how it can be expressed. Expressing something that was already latent.

@franmellor9843

4 жыл бұрын

I agree

@timtrek

4 жыл бұрын

whisper to a scream

@ethorii

4 жыл бұрын

There are so many dangerous drivers now compared to 20 years ago, where I live. I don't know if it's narcissism but it is entitlement and lack of concern for others.

@whynot2644

4 жыл бұрын

@@frankenz66 Well we know that they aren't born they are made. And this world with social media allows people....or they think...to become larger than real life. They become a legend in their own minds. And it starts so young. But these parents give and give and give and can't say no and won't. That will create any type of monster.

I swear you never leave that chair. Someone just brings you shirts.

@Dlovesyou1

4 жыл бұрын

Kimmo Laine i love him so much but this is hilarious😭😭😭😭😭

@gloriouscontent3538

4 жыл бұрын

@@Dlovesyou1 No, you 2 are pathetic. "He uses 1 studio setup, height of comedy." Fuck off.

@AmyLSacks

4 жыл бұрын

Everyone's allowed a little private space. No need to take us all over his house and garage. I mean, isn't that what HDTV would be for? ;)

@kimmolaine8069

4 жыл бұрын

I love his style. He's a rare breed in YT.

@blowitoutyourcunt7675

4 жыл бұрын

Lol, what about pants!?!

My first girlfriend was a transcendentally beautiful woman, and I can't remember her ever putting on makeup, worrying about her looks, or EVER asking me how she looked. Man, was I lucky.

The tone of your talking calms my breathing

@overimagination2812

4 жыл бұрын

Try watching fox news for the opposite effects, its quite effective in making me feel like I'm having a heart attack. Literally makes me feel as if my narcissistic mother is back in my life yelling at me over god-knows-what. Its funny stuff but wow do I feel bad for the cult that believes in it.

@1974jrod

4 жыл бұрын

@@overimagination2812 I feel the same about CNN

@gloriouscontent3538

4 жыл бұрын

@@1974jrod Fox news and CNN are both fake news. Actually, the anti fake news npc might be the worst abomination fox or god hath created.

@blowitoutyourcunt7675

4 жыл бұрын

LOL I can't focus on what he's saying because his speech is so slow that I speed up the video to 1.5x top stay focused on him!

Another very interesting, objective video. I dated a girl who took a lot of selfies. When we went on vacation, I noticed that she took pictures of buildings/ scenery where we were, and literally countless selfies as well as asking me to take pictures of her with her phone. I took pictures of where we were, and of her with my camera, and asked passersby to take some pictures of us as a couple. I guess this is kinda normal. Not once over the course of several trips/ days out did she take a picture of me, or of us as a couple. I had thought it was a bit odd, but then someone asked me whether in fact she took any pictures of me/ us as a couple at all. When I said no, they said that they had dated someone like that and had the same experience as me eg the only partner they'd had that didn't take pictures of their partner. Not sure if that is a common thing or not. It really hit home when I suggested we do a "yearbook" of pictures from our trips from our respective photos as presents to each other for Xmas. Mine was pictures of where we were, with the centre double picture being a picture of both of us. Her book was a book of 10% the places we had been, and 90% pictures of her/ her in front of places we had visited. There was not one picture of us as a couple, or indeed any picture of me in it.

@BobbyP5985

2 жыл бұрын

Did you end up killing her with all your pent up frustration?

I have never taken a selfie and think I'll refrain from ever doing it. There's something so silly about it to me, and I think it's the poser factor. I find it outrageously narcissistic; I believe it promotes a false idea of people and how they really are/look, etc., and I think it will just increase jealousy, bad self image problems and other things. No, I don't suppose it will destroy the world per se, but it's not helping either and is a bad habit that I hope we lose. Thank you Dr Grande! 👍🌹

@B.I.-EIO_macdonald9786

4 жыл бұрын

Elisa Mastromarino the posing part of it throws me off it as well Than i think to myself Why don’t i love myself more ? God made me.

@ethorii

4 жыл бұрын

I agree. It's strange to need to draw attention to yourself for no good reason. I've only taken a selfie to send to my kids if I'm wearing a goofy hat or to share with them where I'm at. Or a dating site photo upload. I see no other reason why my face would be important enough to shove in front of others.

@matttherrien9608

4 жыл бұрын

@MARY Once again another intelligent rebuttal from a millennial. I'm ashamed to be deemed one myself, although I'm on the brink at 37.

@CH-kr2df

4 жыл бұрын

@@matttherrien9608 She thinks it's cute.

@kesmarn

4 жыл бұрын

@@matttherrien9608 "MARY" is probably 73 years old and a poser. LOL!

" Mirrors don't reflect, they distort" - A Gentleman in Moscow, decades before the selfie.

@jillellen2631

3 жыл бұрын

I've been meaning to read that book. I take it that it left an impression on you.:)

@emilykathleenn

Ай бұрын

Russians are so smart

What is a narcissist doing at home during quarantine? He's saving the world 😁

@gaillewis5472

4 жыл бұрын

😂 Bravo

@prashanthcm8264

2 жыл бұрын

Torturing family members

@bartgoofers

10 күн бұрын

Puting slander on facebook.

“If you want to learn what someone fears losing most, look at what they photograph.” Someone who photographs themselves more than anything/anyone else is revealing what they love most in my opinion. I view it as a red flag that they are narcs, or at the very least extremely selfish.

@Jp-do9ny

4 жыл бұрын

Powerful quote

@BabyHannah05

4 жыл бұрын

It makes sense because I’m always taking pictures of my two kids. I barely take any pictures.

@cjstats1514

4 жыл бұрын

Only prob with that is that you're supposed to live yourself the most first. Without that, you can't actual love other pple and things. The reason someone is a narcissist, is bc they don't love themselves. They are so insecure, they become a narcissist. It's a cover up for hating themselves. Watch his videos ou n that.

@Intrepid_Insomniac

4 жыл бұрын

Oh yes I am well aware of narcs... my mother is one. I’ve read many books and been to counseling to recover from it. My point is... Taking endless “selfies” and posting online for attention isn’t practicing healthy self love. It’s a red flag that something is amiss. If you really love yourself, you don’t feel a need to do this... you feel secure in your own skin without a need for constant feedback. What you say is essentially true, but there is a paradox there because of the behavior of the narcissist. With a narc, it is only “me, me, me.”

@Andrei-yv8fz

3 жыл бұрын

Explains why 90% of my photos are my cats. I only have one picture of myself. One.

I think there's something also to be said about the feedback selfies get. For instance, on my personal social media feed, posting a picture of my face always garners more interaction than a post of anything else, including my artwork or interests. Sure, you could argue it's shallow to care about "likes" and whatnot, and it undoubtedly is, but from my perspective it also tells me, oh, this is what my audience is interested in, and informs future choices about what to post and not post.

@SassanMedia

2 жыл бұрын

Also , the feedbacks in terms of likes , comments and engagements provides the validation that one seeks. Very good point

@Embassy_of_Jupiter

Жыл бұрын

I don't understand this, why do people like this? I've seen the people I know a million times, I know what they look like. Literally every selfie looks the same unless you are a makeup artist or something. Who tf cares, I'd much rather see their hobbies or something. Just show me something interesting please. Why Instagram is popular is beyond me.

I absolutely do believe that selfies predict narcissistic personality traits. The first people I saw do this I knew already they were the most narcissistic people I’d ever known so I wasn’t surprised at all.

@MeadeSkeltonMusic

4 жыл бұрын

I disagree

@june-mariehamilton5455

4 жыл бұрын

I agree, in principle, but have a question, which came first, chicken or egg?

I can't stand selfies.

@frankenz66

4 жыл бұрын

I gather that isn't your photo in your avatar then 😁

@yolipurpleflower9895

4 жыл бұрын

@@frankenz66, it's my photo, but, I often have others take pics of me. They do a much better job than I can. 🙃

@frankenz66

4 жыл бұрын

@Noel Normandin Yet you are here. That is a positive step. We have all been inflicted upon by someone in our lives.

@NYCbabyJes

3 жыл бұрын

Hmm and yet your profile picture is one

@dreddking6073

3 жыл бұрын

@@NYCbabyJes lol exactly. Dr grandes fanbase has a the self awareness of a rock

People prefer selfies instead of regular pictures because it shows their face as they see it in the mirror. Because of the mere-exposure effect, these mirrored images are more attractive to ourselves than regular pictures of ourselves. So people who make selfies might be a bit more insecure, I guess.

@justatexasgirl5583

4 жыл бұрын

Brains Applied I agree. That’s why I prefer the pictures I take of myself vs other people..

I think that a true narcissist takes tons of selfies and uses filters to make themselves look perfect. I don't have a problem with them other than making people with low self esteem feel worse because they compare themselves to unobtainable beauty standards. I also get tired of people trying to look like porn stars. 🙄

It’s always great satisfaction to me to hear and see you speak, to know there are brilliant, sane and caring persons out there thinking. Thank you thank you thank you

I understand that people want to show a few pictures of themselves if they are at an important or unusual event, perhaps on a once in a lifetime trip or something like that. What I can’t wrap my mind around is that when they show you pictures of a trip, for exemple, the audience can barely see the Eiffel Tower, the flowers in the famous garden, the 52nd century BCE monument, the semi eclipsed moon, or whatever should be the main feature of the photo, because there’s what I call an “abscess” blocking everything. It’s so annoying when you ask, “hey, send some photos of your trip”, only to end up with 300 images of the very person you can see live. I know you, dude! No need to show me your face on every single shot. I was hoping to talk about what you liked and disliked the most about your trip, what surprised you, etc., not about the color of your hair. Some people are so cluelessly self-absorbed that they seem to enjoy showing off more than the trip itself 🙄

@shayleenmeyer3175

4 жыл бұрын

Simone S On the other hand, you can find pictures of the Eiffel Tower, etc. online that are much better than what the average person can take with their phone. That's why I think the combination of both, people and monument/whatever should be the focus.

@simones9365

4 жыл бұрын

Shayleen Meyer - well, sometimes ppl take pictures from angles we don’t see on professional shots, and those can be fun. I actually prefer to look at land/cityscapes than people, unless the people on the photos are wearing or doing something particular of different cultures

My ex used to take ton loads of selfies, I didn't know why, But he continued with this when our first baby was born and posting it on social media to alot of people he didn't know. I asked him to stop it, stop spreading pics of himself and our baby to total strangers and lying about who he was. I didn't understand at first that there was something wrong with him, it just felt absolutely wrong to me. As time passed by it began clear that all his behaviors were extremely delusional, destructive and dangerous.

@TheTam0613

4 жыл бұрын

I'm sorry he acted like this! I don't have my own children, but I find it terrifying when people post tons of pics of their little ones, sometimes scantily clothed, on Facebook or whatever. I have a cousin who was doing that with her baby girl (after two boys she was over the moon to have a little girl) and many older women chastised her. I never said anything bc she never asked me, but I also worried about the people out there who would be doing something wrong with the images. I was surprised it bothered me as I don't have children. It's my goddaughter, and I just didn't want all those adorable pics being viewed by people without good intent. This comment makes me sound like I'm 75 years old, but I'm only in my 30's. It was just unsettling. She stopped doing it as she grew out of being a baby.

Under 1 minute into the video, I'm gunna call it now. Yes, selfies will destroy the world.

I'm avoidant, and so I can only take selfies of myself, I have to be in complete control, I will not let other people take pictures of me because it makes me feel horrible. And whenever I am to update a profile pic or something I always have to ask my closest friends, if the picture is decent enough, and even if they say yes, most of the time I end up not posting it after all. I very rarely change profile pictures because it makes me feel ill just thinking about what others might think, and I can't relax for quite a while after having updated one. It's not that I am ugly, no one has ever said that ever, but I just feel like I am too ugly if I'm not perfect and so I will never be good enough.

@redsonja2291

4 жыл бұрын

@Samuel Carrington Well I have no self confidence so my personality isn't anything to talk about. I'm fine though, I have movies and TV-series, and a few close friends and that's enough, at least for now. I guess. And I know looks don't matter that way because I don't fall for a persons appearance, I fall for the personality, but I set other rules for myself.

@redsonja2291

4 жыл бұрын

@Samuel Carrington These are things that I already know, but I know a lot of things, that doesn't mean that I am willing to go through the stress that I would have to go through. I don't need more friends, I don't want to meet new people, it gives me anxiety, I don't like that feeling. I like taking pictures, and sometimes I do that, but I don't need to do anything that I don't want to do. I'm also bipolar and I have social anxiety, so I will feel depressed at times no matter what I do. I know you're just trying to be helpful, and that's kind of you, but it won't help here.

@redsonja2291

4 жыл бұрын

@Samuel Carrington well I had just gotten a PT before this whole corona virus happened, so that really sucked, not being able to move forward with that now that everything is closed (that's a good thing that things are closed during this time btw).

@sahamal_savu

4 жыл бұрын

I'm very similar, meeting all the criteria for Avoidant and also having crushing social anxiety. I have only taken one selfie in my life and it was deliberately dark and I wasn't facing the camera so you couldn't even tell it was me. I had that as my profile picture (when I had social media, which I abandoned years ago) for about 24 hours then changed back to something else. I haven't even allowed anyone to take a picture of me since I was forced to in high school for my student ID, which was a LONG time ago :) All I can say is you're lucky you have a few close friends because I have been completely isolated with no socializing for many years now and it can be very difficult at times.

@Alphacentauri819

4 жыл бұрын

Red Sonja I highly suggest checking out The Personal Development School, with Thais Gibson... I hear different “stories” from what you are saying. Those narratives (often false) inform our reality, beliefs and behaviors (some of which reinforce those very toxic narratives) To break those ways of seeing the world (the lens we look at ourselves and others with)...we have to address core childhood wounds which influence all that, as well as effects our attachment style. While the other person suggested get a new skill or hobby, those are lovely...but doesn’t treat the root of the problem. You have got get to that to completely heal. It can be done. Like Thais and others say...pain in life is inevitable, but what we do with that pain, what we believe about it, that’s what causes suffering. We cause our own suffering most of the time. Wishing you a new lens and healing

I was just talking about this!! I went on a deleting spree on my social media from the attention seeking behavior

@Aquaticphilosophia

4 жыл бұрын

Psychoanalytical87 hmmm, hiding your attention seeking behavior....

What an interesting topic. I often wonder every time I take a selfie or shortly after if that was narcissistic. I then looked back on my only social media and realise that the last selfie I took was January, then another in October last year. When I broke up with my partner of 5 years last year, I took a lot more selfies shortly after. This has since subsided and I was probably attempting to boost my self esteem. The question still remains though. At the core of narcissism is insecurity which relates to low self esteem, then taking selfies is a narcissistic behaviour, however it may be the frequency and extravagance of it that determines the level of narcissism the individual has? I feel everyone has some narcissism and it is an automatic reaction to situations that negatively reflect the image of the person in question. It is the intensity and duration that determines if the trait is maladaptive for the individual. Awesome video as usual Dr. Grande! I have an idea/topic I'd really like your input on. What is the relationship between body image issues and narcissism?

@Padam91

3 жыл бұрын

What a well formulated and reflective comment. I tend to take selfies often, not really so often to post anywhere, but to scrutinise my own appearance in regard to my hairline, skin appearance, facial symmetry, etc. While sometimes the responses to the selfies I post online can boost my confidence, the selfie-taking itself comes from me being neurotic and insecure, or wanting to improve my outer appearance to serve as a coping mechanism. I think this derives more from codependency rather than narcissism, since I perceive myself as quite codependent. Therefore, recognising that the motives for taking selfies can vary hugely is super important, and labelling people narcissists for taking many selfies can be very detrimental. Sure, the underlying motivation can be the same - insecurity - but narcissists and codependent people have a very different way of facing this insecurity and reacting to it. One is very harmful to the people around the person, and the other is less so.

I sometimes take selfies but never post them 😭 I do take them to document memories like you said

I am so glad you did this video! I always wondered about the relationship between selfies and narcissism. I never really enjoyed taking pictures of myself or selfies, so it was always hard for me to understand the behavior. Your analysis was very interesting! Have a Happy Easter Dr. Grande!

The issue that I have seen associated with selfie posting is that those are the pictures that generate more interaction from your contacts. It’s depressing to see how one of my awesome landscape shots barely gets the attention that one of my face pics get. I don’t like it at all and find it quite disturbing.

@Dj.D25

2 жыл бұрын

I feel the same. When I post a new photo of myself or change my profile photo on Facebook, taken either with my phone or camera, plenty of Likes and comments saying how handsome I look which I don't do often. Yet photos I take with my camera of just about anything else from plants, landscapes, street photography, animals, etc do not get as much attention, even though I edit them to look nice. Those photos may get a good amount of attention if I post them in a photography group though.

2 Timothy 3:1-5 (kjv) 1 This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come. 2 For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, 3 Without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good, 4 Traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God; 5 Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away.

I’m not doing my social psychology paper so that I can binge videos on this channel 🥴

@evelynwaugh4053

4 жыл бұрын

Pretend that you are doing research.......

@mementomorgan6721

4 жыл бұрын

Evelyn Waugh true ;)

I do lots of selfies because I need constant reassurance that I don't look hideous. (I'm not terrible looking but I keep focusing on my flaws)

“Will selfies destroy the world? “ I’ve been talked off the existential ledge after hearing Dr. Grande’s answer. 👍🏼 Excellent, interesting video.

Thank you very much, Dr. Grande. Your insight is, as always, well researched and straightforward. And as you always do, you speak without judgement, which sets you apart from others. I highly respect you and I appreciate all the work and time you put into your videos.

24/7 of checking people's life. 24/7 of showing that you are better than them. Let's be honest, social media became a competition of people's life..

So you’re saying we *can’t* follow your Instagram?

@kristoffseisler2163

4 жыл бұрын

@Annika O'Brien Totally forgot about you, not sure what happened.

@kaym.h.3583

4 жыл бұрын

😂

@AnnikaOBrien

4 жыл бұрын

Kristoff Seisler I don’t know what that means. You mean that I regularly leave comments on Grandes videos?

@kristoffseisler2163

4 жыл бұрын

@Annika O'Brien no no, didn't you make videos and go live a lot before?

@AnnikaOBrien

4 жыл бұрын

Kristoff Seisler Ah, yeah, I was a big KZreadr and I retired. May come back again. Quarantine got me stuck inside anyway.

Uh oh I just did a selfie to replace my self portrait oil painting icon. I think it depends on how many selfies you have. Addictive behavior patterns directed toward self I can see it being a disorder.

@Psychoanalytical87

4 жыл бұрын

I think we all have selfies but there are different types of people who take selfies. For example I can name a few people who take selfies every single day and put them up on their stories or on their wall on social media where as I might take a selfie once in a blue moon

I haven't looked at the paper yet, but it seems to me that " communication" or " archive" are a bit simplistic terms these researchers have used. One certainly can " report" them as they are nice constructs to protect one's perception of themselves, tho it might be the case that if you dig deeper, "communication" for that person ends up being " receiving likes and validation". Also, while a selfie can involve a memory, there are plenty of selfies that only focus on the person and there is no special scene or event associating with it ( maybe we need to differentiate ? ). Loosely speaking, I may be manipulative enough to take a selfie in such a way that hides my motives ( i.e. make it appear as if it is about the memory or the scene ). Thus I think future studies should look at the participants' motives with more skepticism and do not take self-report at face value. what I'm trying to say is that when we're dealing with a phenomenon that involves deception and self-deception, we have to make sure our measurement captures that aspect.

@mayrasanchez8672

4 жыл бұрын

Sep Paradox totally agree

@IamPotato_007

4 жыл бұрын

I want to do a podcast because I want privacy. And what matters is not how a person looks but how and what the person communicates. And does. But there are sweet talkers with hidden motives. Hence it's good to have the person talking.

I don't do selfies, nor do I use Fakebook etc because I see that whole behaviour as narcissistic. A funny thing happened a couple of years ago.....I was in this shop and saw these things called 'selfie sticks' which I'd never seen before. I said to my missus "They look like some kind of masterbation device" I laughed to myself for a moment while I processed what those things were, and then I said "Actually that's EXACTLY what they are" 😆😁

@KM-nq7ez

Жыл бұрын

Brillant 💯truth

The research has left out one group of people who take selfies. The one I'm part of. I was raised by a NM. I learned to never EVER look better than her in real life or in photos or else I paid for it. The older I got the more i hated having my picture made. I believed 100% "I look terrible in photos" (self fulfilling prophecy) I would become anxious sweat, heart race, even nausea. Panic almost just seeing someone about to snap a picture. I wanted though to not be like that. But couldn't even try to learn to change the way I looked in pictures. About two years ago, I realized I was triggering back to consequences of "looking better than my mother". Took about six months to be in front of a camera knowing a photo was coming either taken by me or a photographer and experience no anxiety, to trust that I will look good in the picture without negative consequences from NM, to build my confidence and add positive true self concepts to my default beliefs. I post a selfie maybe once maybe twice a month that do get attention on point, ie a dress I made or a work in the garden, showing a workout, my artwork and me. I don't ever post the ugly or not so good picture. The ones I keep private usually don't have a point, it's just a photo. My phone is full of them and in my skin is no anxiety or triggers left in me. Thanks for letting me say.

@CN-dv9nj

4 жыл бұрын

I just remembered something else. When I became willing and able to be in a peer group recovering from various ineffective coping skills for our various life situations, facilitator gave us each a stack of magazines, a bound 8x10 blank pages journal to keep and bring back each week. She had us find pictures in the magazine s we thought were beautiful of that reflected on something we liked or identified with. 30 mins she started w one chick who had to explain what and why each picture meant to us. Went around the room. By the time it was my turn it was clear to me and this is what I said: Wow I hate to show y’all mine for real! I wanted to run away. Facilitator says why what’s wrong with it? I said theirs all of them are pictures full of people and wine and picnics and mothers and daughters kids - I was in tears and said my 10 pages don’t have a single human being in a photo that I picked. She said did I not like people I said I do I love people but they don’t love me for very long ever just to hang out. They get me to do things then they dismiss me by not paying any attention to me. So when I say selfie they include people, fun and even crowds. Yep I am much much better. Some People even keep me around and accept me when I am under a mood or when I am unashamed if being or looking as my best beautiful out together self. I embrace that as a basic right of everyone me included. I wouldn’t ever have even thought that before I woke with help waiting for me to get there. Lol. True

I read part of the Chaudhari, et al, study a while ago, but it I found it a bit "dry" and didn't finish it. Thank you, Dr. Grande, for recounting it in a manner which captured my interest!

Thank you, this video is something I've been wondering about for a few years, It was very informative. Also, I like the shirt.

ThankYou Dr Grande. Always incredible 🎉

I just remembered a funny photo where a gun has been placed instead of mobile phone on a selfie stick, obviously the gun was pointing toward the person who is about to take a selfie! lol

Thanks for another great video, Dr. Grande. I was wondering if you are planning to make a video on the topic of loss or how to deal with loss /grief for a young (under 21) person. I have never dealt with loss ever, so this is all very new and shocking for me. I am sure there are other persons in the same situation. Either way, thank you for your content.

Dr Grande, thank you for the awesome content. Your channel rocks!

This is great, Dr. Grande...

One of the wise lads down my local pub says if a girl has more pictures of herself in her phone than she has of you it's bad news

The selfie. The ultimate 👉LOOK AT ME!!👈 (with trout pout thrown in) I find it all ridiculous 😆

Cool video! I never thought about selfies related to pathology but it makes sense.

I like the info-graphics ... help ingrain some of the terminology.

I do photography as a hobby and I'm pretty into the idea of archiving and saving memories, so I take a lot of photos in general, including of myself. I edit the photos for things like exposure and vibrance, but don't alter my appearance in them like smoothing skin or something. My skin is very bad, my acne and acne scars is severe, but I still don't try to hide that. I'm also overweight, and don't look good in 99% of selfies, so I don't post many for attention, good or bad. They simply aren't worth posting, but it's good to have a few recent pics, even if I look bad in them. I also delete the majority of pics I take and don't keep them, only keeping 1 or 2, so I'm not sure how the selfie taking vs selfie saving rates add up, but I take more than I keep, which seems normal. I also do like make digital art and collages, where sometimes I will use the selfies, because they represent me, and a lot of my art is expressive. I think my selfie practices are more in line with documentation, or for my own entertainment, than for narcissistic reasons.

@FourQueue

4 жыл бұрын

Yet you start most sentences with 'I'

My friends friend takes selfies every 5 minutes, she even owns a selfie stick.. is annoying!!

@QoraxAudio

4 жыл бұрын

Every smartphone addiction is annoying imo... And very dangerous in traffic.

@Sideler74

4 жыл бұрын

you're friend is a narc, avoid her.

@Padam91

3 жыл бұрын

@@Sideler74 You obviously didn't either watch or learn anything from the video. There are many different motives for taking selfies, and you knowing one isolated thing about a person does not make you capable of diagnosing someone. Also, I think studies have shown that people who regularly call other people narcissists tend to posses more narcissistic qualities than average.

@Sideler74

3 жыл бұрын

@@Padam91 the only thing wrong with my post is "you're" it should be "your."

@jackedkerouac4414

3 жыл бұрын

At one point my sister in law had over 1000 photos posted of herself and most were selfies.

Dr. Grande - high in conscientiousness 😊

I only blinked once and noticed immediately you have already a thousand subs more👍. You might have given at the end a funny twist to this vid, by taking a selfie with your phone and saying with your famous deadpan humor something like; "Mmm, looking not bad today"....😂. Thanks for the video Dr. Grande and I'm hoping you're having a nice Easter-dinner with your loved ones. Probably tomorrow 252K subs doc 😃🇳🇱

The word “selfie” is going to made fun of by the next generation haha

@JohnWayne-86ed

4 жыл бұрын

@@travisburke1832 I don't like your comment because it doesn't even once mention me and how great I am😤

@JeremyHelm

3 жыл бұрын

yeah, call it what it is: "self-photography" 0:27

My sister compulsively takes selfies. Her Facebook page has hundreds, her house has dozens of then framed. One time at Mom's house, she started taking some, and then the phone stopped. The memory on her iPhone was maxed out. The only time I had to laugh. I loved her so as a child, but she's utterly lost to narcissism. I've done my grieving, and I have to move on.

I do think if a person takes dozens of selfies every day and posts all of them on social media, there is some problem for sure. Whether it is narcissism or not is another question

just want to say; I've been watching for a long time and I really appreciate your work. Thank you!

Rembrandt invented the selfie.

The bulletpoints came back! And remastered! Yay 😄

I've been watching your videos for about a year now and have learned a lot, have recommended them to others. But the more I watch, the more I wonder about the underlying assumptions that form today's psychological standards. For instance, your recent videos on humor and introversion/extroversion make clear that the psychological field prefers a particular kind of personality: there is "good" humor and "dark" humor, "adaptive" behavior and "maladaptive" behavior. Yet the current pandemic seems to challenge many of those assumptions. Almost daily my spouse and I field panicked messages from our "good" humored, "adaptive" (extroverted) friends and family who seem completely paralyzed by even moderate isolation and upset to their lives. Meanwhile, we "maladaptive", "dark" humored introverts seem fairly well equipped to handle the crisis. So....who decided that "good" personalities are those that are "fun" and agreeable rather than those that are independent and resilient? Could you address the issue of social bias in your field and its research? Thanks.

State to trait... very interesting idea... thank you Dr Grande ;)

This video reminds me to retake all 16 social media account pictures. 🙄😁 Thanks! Great vid Doc!

I believe the advent of smartphones has created a sea-change in human behavior that we haven't really yet fully appreciated. It seems that for quite a few people, their world is in their hand, in that phone. Their world is not "out there," in the real world. I also wonder whether this phenomenon has resulted in fewer crimes of a certain kind, since those who might be inclined to commit crimes are also "living on their phone," and aren't so concerned about others around them in the real world. I notice that in my own experience I have recently walked around neighborhoods in which I had been harassed when I walked there around 20-25 years ago. Nobody says anything to me or harasses me now. People just mind their own business. I wonder if this is connected to technology?

I needed to hear this..... I have an extensive library of my music on my channel and I'm constantly asking myself am I being like my mother but I feel my thumbnails to be describing the song I created and I think a lot of us struggle with this. Do you Dr. Grande?.....hehehe Another great video dear one! HI EVERYBODY!

Yes. And its crippling insecurity. The irony is - the more selfies you take, the more insecure you get. Like a rush of dopamine you get the validation, and if you don't get it - you feel you need to do better. Chasing that high. I am speaking from experience here, as a guy who used to take and post them, EVERYDAY.

Love your videos. Thank you for sharing your knowledge and insights. I am learning so much! Feel like I am taking a college corse. I am an RN and we had to take abnormal psychology but your information is really informative.

Very interesting! Thank you! Made me look at my own motives for posting selfies. I just do it for my profile pictures in Facecrack so my family will know what I look like lol

I knew a fella who really liked libraries and books and he often took photos of such. He called them SHELF-IES!!

I have enjoyed artists self portraits for years and trying to understand how they view themselves through thier work. I now look at selfies the same way.

@theodorostsilikis4025

4 жыл бұрын

interesting : )

@DreamingInTechnicolor

4 жыл бұрын

Same.

@TheTam0613

4 жыл бұрын

That's an extremely interesting point!

I thought it was just part of my BDD, thinking that there was a problem with taking selfies. I thought my disorder was just telling me that I wasn't normal for hating the idea of it. I don't take them, and I never will. Good video. People are in so much denial with normalizing this behavior. I don't enjoy having BDD, and it's really affected my life in a negative way. But the good thing about having it is that I have a very different perspective on the world, watching so many unhealthy things getting normalized. Over sexualization, taking pictures of yourself, social media, getting validation by how many people agree with you and "like" what you have to say, showing off so much skin and taking the intimacy out of showing skin, instant gratification from porn. It all grosses me out, and I know my disorder just "enhances" my feelings about it, but I'm glad I don't take part in the world being so disgusting and depraved.

The kind of selfies a person takes seems to be important. Constant "glam shots" are different from just selfies w/others and casual shots which are what people have been taking ever since photography was invented. Glam shots are a major bore especially when massaged with photo enhancers/ug.

I enjoyed your analysis- very interesting! I bet that age affects how many selfies people take. Younger people take them all the time as a matter of course. It would be interesting to see some age data.

I would think that today, selfies are made and posted from a need to be like others, from peer pressure. Kids today almost need to constantly share selfies or be labeled as shy or weird somehow.

I know it's just a single case, but I know of a case where a female is diagnosed with BPD and continually posts selfies. However, she is also diagnosed with an eating disorder which may play a larger part in the daily posting of selfies. So, there can be dual factors in her non-stop posting of selfies. But, it doesn't seem as though the taking and posting of selfies cause these disorders but is rather simply a manifestation of these disorders. These are just my thoughts.

Thank you, Dr. Grande. A great synopsis on an intriguing topic again! One particular finding that picked my interest is the negative correlation (I assumed that the researchers took correlation analysis to test their hypothesis) between neuroticism and selfies. I wonder the odds of having a high score in neuroticism if an individual puts pictures on the profile not being selfies :)

Oof I take a lot of selfies once a month or so like a 100 choose a profile photo and don't do it for ages. I meet a lot of people online and to prove that your 'real' people ask for a lot of photos if you don't have social media and possibly a phone call to. I'm 18 and with kids around my age it's kind of a red flag if someone doesn't have enough pictures of themselves 🤔. If someone I meet on say on tinder doesn't have Instagram or Facebook I immediately get this bit of fear of being catfished. So there are pros and cons to updating photos of yourself and using social media.

Thank you

Dr Grande. Can you talk about narcissism growing in our society? Do you think more people are becoming narcissistic? Why do you think so? What is causing it?

Am I the ONLY one on this thread that has never taken a so-called Selfie??

@oakstrong1

4 жыл бұрын

No, I have never taken a selfies either... but I did ask someone to take a full body picture of me. But I think in effect it is the same thing as before, when one would ask a stranger to take a picture of them in front of some famous sight. I mean, you will most likely be able to buy better pictures of postcards or on Google, taken by professionals. I also used to take mugshot in a photo booth once a year as a record of my aging process, but I got distracted by life.

@alphafox400

4 жыл бұрын

I never have, but women have with me in the photo. I suspect there are many of us, but we are obviously less obvious than the self takers since our pictures are not plastered all over.

@sahamal_savu

4 жыл бұрын

The one and only selfie I've ever taken was in a dark room with very little ambient light, and I was looking down and not at the lense. It was the antithesis of the bright and happy selfies that most people try to achieve.

@carluvrsd9374

4 жыл бұрын

We are the neurotics, evidently.

@KateeAngel

4 жыл бұрын

I have taken only few selfies in my life, and even fewer of them were posted on social media. I also have incredibly small amount of photos of me taken by other people, I don't like to be photographed even when I travel somewhere, only rarely. My current profile picture, for example, still remain the only photo of me I really like, and it was taken almost 12 years ago

I have never felt comfortable with selfies or social media and avoid such photos almost entirely - I have taken many, many, thousands of photos over the 40 years I have had cameras (since about age 9), but I suspect one would be hard pressed to find more than perhaps a dozen in which I actually appear in those photos and they were usually rare family photos where I was capturing all the generations present. As someone who grew up with considerable abuse, anything associated with ego triggers memories of the abuse that ego (and narcissistic traits) leaves in its wake and so I largely avoid anything that feels like it may feed my own ego as I don’t ever wish to become like them (for better or worse, instead I’ve become increasingly avoidant and isolated over the years, while also struggling with untreated C-PTSD for decades, as people are simply too painful to spend much time around since ultimately everyone will betray any trust extended to them without a care in the world for the harm they do, which makes trust almost impossible - if anything it feels like people are only getting more and more selfish and willing to betray other’s trust for personal gain in today’s society where even close friendships and romantic partners are treated as highly expendable). And, yes, I score quite high in neuroticism. :-)

hate selfies and hate people that snap photos of themselves all the time, facebook is full of people that post themselves, seen you once is enough.

I think the habit of taking selfies is at least an indication of shallowness.

My profile pictures are selfies, I sometimes blur or sharpen them so people can understand how I see the world; through colors & contrast. It’s also how I can see myself since I’m unable to view myself in mirrors. I’m fascinated with how my skin tone can change based on the amount of light I’m exposed to. I’m also horrified by the fact that people will let you walk around with little gifts hanging out of your nostrils. So, I take selfie’s for many reasons, but almost all of them have to do with my sight impairment.

@TheTam0613

4 жыл бұрын

Do you mind if I ask you which sight disorder you have? Certainly ignore my request if it's too personal or you do not wish to share.

@DreamingInTechnicolor

4 жыл бұрын

@@TheTam0613 not invasive at all, I was diagnosed with retinopathy of prematurity, Stargardt‘s disease, and I’m high myopic.

@DreamingInTechnicolor

4 жыл бұрын

Sidenote… I almost went completely blind after a very unfortunate incident in my early teens, had emergency double surgery to repair the damage and save what was left in my vision.

Dr Grande, I feel that this is a fashionable thing to do. A few years ago it didn't even exist and we cannot imagine what will be coming up in the future. Who would have predicted Facebook , Twitter , Instagram and so on. So to me just as when people wore mini skirts in the sixties , it didn't mean " look at me" it was just fashion and young people will follow it regardless. You may feel I have missed the point of what you were saying but I feel there is another dimension to selfies. Thanks if you read my comment 😀

Idk I've taken maybe half a dozen 'selfies' ever with only one in particular being (reluctantly) posted for a profile pic (as a requirement) to join an internet chat site, which I've since unjoined anyway. All the rest were with my cat Miggy, because there was nobody else to take the pics. I don't think selfies necessarily equate to narcissism by default for all people, but I see a lot of 'put on' and 'posing' in selfies on social media when the pictures are clearly SELFIES rather than taken by another person...

Thank you all of you online psychologists for providing a safe place for me to vent after being diagnosed by a psychologist that I have been recovering from narcissitic abuse while already getting real offline counselling in a counselling office. I am still trying to get used to my cell phone that regularly takes a picture of me when I don't want it to and I can't understand why. For sure a narcissist will go to great lenghts to achieve according to them the most ideal selfie around. The first narcissistic abuser in my life feels that no risk is too big for him during that selfie goal in mind. In the past it was not even a Black Friday toronado funnel cloud looming overhead when it came to protecting his vehicle needed to troll around the city from maybe hail stones instead of the funnel cloud touching down in our driveway. Not even COVID-19 social distancing recommendations can ever stop him the narcissist from trying to achieve the very best selfies around on social media to achieve. Well just for today on Easter Sunday he is staying home alone too on messenger. Reminds me of the picture he took of himslf looking in the mirror all alone by himself in our bedroom while I was still married to him with our marriage liscence hanging on the corner of the mirror. When narcissism and conscientiousness is combined -- ANYTHING can happen next.

I am a photographer model who takes lots of pictures of myself and I know that it could be seen as a narcissist trait I am also sure I am not a narcissist. My ex is a malignant covert narcissist who almost ruined my life. He used to turn off the bathroom lights saying he was too ugly to look at himself at the mirror but other times he used to look at himself and posing in front of the mirror admiring his body which it really wasn’t even fit. His behavior was really confusing this was one of the many many big red flags Helped me identify his personality disorder. I am so lucky I got out. He abused me to the point of putting me in jail because of reactive abuse. Be aware. Thank you for this video Dr.

Thanks! 🙂

I have NPD and take a decent amount of photos of myself but I almost never post them. I don’t really use social media that much. I just don’t care for it because it encourages really obnoxious behavior. I also think I don’t post my photos much because I don’t rely entirely on others’ opinion of me for my self-esteem. Rather, I know my strengths and weaknesses, and love myself regardless of what others think of me. Life was hell before I reached this point because my sense of self was defined by what people thought of me or my next compliment. Such an over-dependence on stuff like that is a very unstable foundation to build a sense of self-worth on. I’m much happier now that I have an internal sense of self that is unaffected by other people’s perception of me. I would venture to say, narcissist or not, many people post selfies most when seeking validation due to low self-confidence.

👏 well said!!!

I had this narc friend who used to mirror my aversion to selfies and would then proceed to take dozens of pictures with our other friends whenever we went out, or usually eat. She would be the one to suggest taking photos, hold a friend's camera, proceed to take tons of photos, and then tell me in private that she hates it and that she's worried that our other friend would use her photos against her. It was very bizarre to see.

Interesting video. Thanks Dr Grande. I'm not sure if you're able to answer this, but I wonder if there is a correlation between narcissism and success as a social media influencer. And what are the ramifications of a society where we might be setting up people with narcissistic tendencies as our role models.

Very interesting.

What happens with people who don't want their photo taken at all. By others or can't take a photo of themselves. Like places like LinkedIn usually want a photo with a profile. But some people have such an aversion to their own image they cannot put one up.

There are a number of scholarly articles out there that look into selfie shaming. Most of the articles that I've read look beyond the knee-jerk reaction of seeing selfie taking as a behavior related to narcissism and instead explore the possibility that selfies are empowering in the sense that they give the selfie taker control over their own representation. I would be very interested to hear your thoughts on selfie shaming. Is it a form of cyber-bullying? Has anyone studied the personality traits associated with selfie shaming? I know it's a bit early for the research to be published, but I'm sure many are looking at how the pandemic has affected selfies and attitudes towards them. As you mentioned, communication is often the goal, and I have personally seen numerous social media posts specifically asking friends to post selfies in the comments section because the creator of the post "misses all of your faces." I appreciate your rational explanation of all sides of this growing concern, and I do agree with your conclusion. Thank you for always uploading excellent content!

Social media has made narcissism go through the roof. People think they are celebrities because they have 10,000 people following them on Instagram. This new generation is a major turnoff. You are a celebrity when you are on the big screen, have a couple million subscribed to you on youtube, or are playing music to thousands in a show.

I am repulsed by influencers (a hideous concept) who help despoil wilderness areas, most of which have a limited capacity. Somehow, all the people who read this person's blog or Instagram account now are compelled to visit the area and leave it in worse shape with discarded trash, trespass, and other overuse issues. They seem less motivated by their desire to enjoy the wilderness than to share a commonality or to compete and excel in this nebulous online selfie posting `community', with little regard for the welfare of others. A friend always quotes her mother who used to enjoin her with `what if everyone did it' when she tried as a child to do anything mindlessly selfish, and that is good advice.

Hope & Heels..... Is a song I created after binge watching Dr. Grande!.....hehehe

My therapist says there is nothing in the dsm called vulnerable vs grandiose narcissism and to stop worrying about it because I told him I'm a vulnerable narcissist but he says we all have traits and everyone has some of everything and it isn't helpful to clients to stigmatize themselves.

I've always only been listening to the episodes. I thought the sound from the books falling in the intro was Dr. Grande adjusting his mic, which he left in for some reason.

What about selfie-taking with filters and using filters that distort what someone actually looks like. then when someone calls out the fact that they do not look anything like all the pictures, they inflammatory and kick them off or delete them from their social media. I would say this is no different than extreme makeup but it seems strange that someone gets so angry when somebody tells them they don't look like the filtered person.

I guess it depends on how obsessed one is with taking “selfies”. I grew up in a generation where we took pictures of other people, and whomever was taking the family or friends photos often did not end up in any of them. LOL Thanks Dr. Grande. 👍