Have you ordered your SCP-999 Tickle Monster plush yet? Go to www.scpswag.com to get your own right now!

@211q1

2 жыл бұрын

How about the real one cause the rreal one is more useful

@Kitt_-cj5is

2 жыл бұрын

@@211q1 and be careful with it, it migjt slither away

@Zebrage

2 жыл бұрын

I need it

@Zebrage

2 жыл бұрын

@@211q1 give 999 the plushie it will make 999 happy lol

@Ciphers_girl_666

2 жыл бұрын

I might get it but can you make a questions about the bad joke tomato

Dr Bright is no longer allowed to challenge D-Class to a "Dad's Joke-Off" within auditory range of SCP-504.

@keylimepython641

2 жыл бұрын

He would do that, though.

@The_Penguin.

2 жыл бұрын

@@keylimepython641 he definitely would

@RatchetTheCat

2 жыл бұрын

@@The_Penguin. He most likely did

@dragonlord3376

2 жыл бұрын

@@RatchetTheCat he definitely did

@keziapratnyatheresa5408

Жыл бұрын

He might already did

“I tried to walk into a target, but I missed.” This one got me, lmfao

@Helman114

2 жыл бұрын

Now that you say it, ffs xD

@sleha4106

2 жыл бұрын

Explain please (Thnx I am idiot)

@arcxnephysic3879

2 жыл бұрын

@@sleha4106 Target is a superstore. He saying that he tried to walk into the store, but missed. It’s basically just a really bad pun.

@gunk3407

2 жыл бұрын

@@arcxnephysic3879 i went fire but it was actually water (259 miles per hour to the face)

@Bob-mz2wz

2 жыл бұрын

So that's why the tomato hit his eye "Bullseye"

D-class: Damn, I miss Joe.. He was such a kind friend Critical Tomato: Who's Joe? D-class: *Joe Mama* Critical Tomato: **Flies at mach speed**

@pgtv12

2 жыл бұрын

LOL

@blandbowl4297

2 жыл бұрын

DrBright: Medic! Medic: What do you need? DrBright: medic fits nicely in- Medic: 🔪

@wulerhaufung9468

2 жыл бұрын

honestly when I heard of Schumacher as a format driver I thought it was his nickname for reaching mach speed lol

@The_Solitary_Commentor

2 жыл бұрын

The tomato clocked in so fast we could not read the speed cause it was too fast

@sky-sx5gt

2 жыл бұрын

Lmao

they lost 4 test subjects before realizing that a recording of Dan Cook was sufficient i love this channel

@cristiantesu2493

2 жыл бұрын

Only one D-class died

@hubertrowan8470

2 жыл бұрын

omg guys some times i do not like thses vidos they are just well breaking the sound belly come on guys thats jsut not possble

@mr.rabbit9714

2 жыл бұрын

@@hubertrowan8470 one I'll just assume English isn't your first language and two well yes nothing on this channel should be possible (maybe some once technology advances enough), so a tomato breaking the sound barrier isn't really anything compared to about everything on here.

@God-T

2 жыл бұрын

they should have gave the d class a headgear

@eunhogarcia5293

2 жыл бұрын

@@hubertrowan8470English?

Note to self: Do not release 504 on April Fool's Day.

@thecluckster3908

2 жыл бұрын

Rule 9171739: Dr bright can not have any instances of Scp 504 under any circumstances.

@jadetheslime3140

2 жыл бұрын

@@thecluckster3908 ESPECIALLY slices.

@conner3626

2 жыл бұрын

@@thecluckster3908 damn we had the same thought

@hellbusterdragon

2 жыл бұрын

Dr Bright energy

@ibraheemtemur3469

2 жыл бұрын

Do it! Puns are funny only when i do them, others suck and they probably even like a tomato to the face 200 mph!

Oh cool, someone animated the SCP I wrote! Fun! I guess "Critical Tomatoes" is an easy title to misunderstand. Really appreciate the work that went into this, although some of the story presentation paints the Foundation as... perhaps *slightly* more irresponsible than it actually is. XD Also, in the Monty Python sketch the Funniest Joke In The World is so funny that it makes people who hear it laugh themselves to death-- it's no surprise why the tomato "died" when it heard it. :) (It had enough of a sense of humor to go along with the joke!)

@lolicon453

2 жыл бұрын

I think I read that when I clicked a link for a random page

@MimiteMarion

2 жыл бұрын

I loved it! Interesting and really well written

@ClockLock

2 жыл бұрын

Ah, I finally get to meet the guy that wrote my favorite SCP. Hope you're having a good one!

@doesbadart13

2 жыл бұрын

Wow I loved it!

@smolchungus9213

2 жыл бұрын

it's cool to see authors in the comments section

Playing an Amy Schumer skit around these tomato's will result in an XK class scenario

@WONDERLAND6005

2 жыл бұрын

Even blind people could see that joke coming

@matthewthefunnyman2788

2 жыл бұрын

@@WONDERLAND6005 Well if I didn't make it someone else would

@Ishtarru

2 жыл бұрын

Everybody stand back, I've got a Melissa McCarthy movie, and I'm crazy enough to use it!

@magusperde365

2 жыл бұрын

She might not be that good but at least she's funnier and more original than you

@XenroTunes

2 жыл бұрын

@@magusperde365 are you sure?

This is a certified “hey apple” moment

@amanzeihedioha

2 жыл бұрын

For the humans that is!

@darka53741

2 жыл бұрын

when is the next video

@hchich2528

2 жыл бұрын

@@darka53741 *why are you here*

@Try-hard-emily

2 жыл бұрын

I understood that reference

@darka53741

2 жыл бұрын

@@hchich2528 your not the only one who enjoy this stuff

The ethics committee is gonna have a field day with those researchers

We need this SCP in every comedy club

@godemperorletoatreidesii7457

2 жыл бұрын

I would say we need this SPC and a penile comedy club people who tried to cancel comedians give them a chance to do it better if they survive they're free to go 🤣

@Superbia_Anima

2 жыл бұрын

"So, you guys ever heard about Ligma?" *Skull* *breaks*

@pnkicecreem459

2 жыл бұрын

Cut them into small pieces and then you have bullets

@redcr33perproductions

2 жыл бұрын

We need it at stand up comedy show going on right now

@aidan.7836

2 жыл бұрын

@@Superbia_Anima "so do you guys know my good friend joe" A dozen of tomatoes fly at me

"Wood fired pizza? How's pizza gonna get a job n-" "SCP-504 clocked in at over 6,000 mph"

@rayzorduality2396

2 жыл бұрын

Glorious

@chrisgomez1262

Жыл бұрын

What the joke

@mikeymikesh

Жыл бұрын

@@chrisgomez1262 "Fired" is a term used for termination of employment. The joke is that someone named "Pizza" was supposedly "fired" by an employer named "Wood".

@chrisgomez1262

Жыл бұрын

@@mikeymikesh k

@chrisgomez1262

Жыл бұрын

No 6,000 mps Miles per second

Part of me wonders if they could still react to a bad joke after being eaten. That'd be a scene right out of Alien

@48917032

2 жыл бұрын

You might even call it gut busting

@maxwell4508

2 жыл бұрын

@@48917032 ≡≡≡≡≡🍅

@pandorasangel2747

2 жыл бұрын

And it gets digested into the body would the guy get possesed by the tomato? So many questions

@wormiestwood682

2 жыл бұрын

@@pandorasangel2747 its answered in the article itself, once ingested they lose their anomalous behavior

@landonpina3453

2 жыл бұрын

What if it's been turned into ketchup?

I was laughing the entire time I was watching this. Whoever pulled he prank at the end was an evil genius.

@thecluckster3908

2 жыл бұрын

Imagine it on april fools day.

@nicktwolf

2 жыл бұрын

@@thecluckster3908 That is my favorite day of the year.

@nicktwolf

2 жыл бұрын

@Joseph Bleifus Are any of us truly innocent? That's why they need to use d class for those types of jobs.

I wonder where Hunter went this time, it seems like they got the usual Infographics Show narrator to fill in.

@Videoandme1

2 жыл бұрын

Clearly they got him. You can report on SCPs for so long until the foundation gets to you.

@nathanjereb9944

2 жыл бұрын

@@Videoandme1 we need to save him!

@HuneeBruh

2 жыл бұрын

@@nathanjereb9944 it's too late

@wittingbike2893

2 жыл бұрын

Nooooooo

@XERO7100

2 жыл бұрын

I think he lost his voice. I know over on limenade he mentioned he was starting to lose it.

Imagine going on a date and trying to impress your crush, only for the tomato on your burger to slice the top of your head off

This SCP really showed the author's distaste for Dane Cook and SNL. LOL

@Ysumbruh0

2 жыл бұрын

It’s a highly intelligent SCP interesting…

SCP 504 is and has always been my favorite scp, partly because it was the first one I learned of.

@thecluckster3908

2 жыл бұрын

It’s cool that you got a unique scp, I just got scp 173 like many others.

@scpftestarchives8826

2 жыл бұрын

@@thecluckster3908 mine was 096 or 173..

@alialluaibi3008

2 жыл бұрын

Same

@arnowisp6244

2 жыл бұрын

Mine was the SCP of the Time reversing man.

@SheosMan117

2 жыл бұрын

Mine was 166. The old 166.

4:11 "1001 Tomato Jokes That Will Make You Pizza Your Pants" A classic

Why was the tomato so embarrassed? When he opened the fridge, he saw the salad dressing 🤡

@diamondguycarlosortega4075

2 жыл бұрын

=====🍅💔

@magnuslover2143

2 жыл бұрын

That's a light speed tomato in the face right there

@Thetoucanman918

2 жыл бұрын

@@magnuslover2143 nah it’s the kinda speed that gets you to Pluto in a minute

@bananabird735

2 жыл бұрын

R.I.P our legend 🙏🙏💯💯✊😔

@shougozero259

2 жыл бұрын

🍅🍅🍅

Imagine you eat that SCP and now you're afraid of people saying bad jokes.

@lykosourliachto6185

2 жыл бұрын

Imagine somebody makes a bad joke and you see somebody just ragdoll across the room at a hundred miles an hour

@IX_4

2 жыл бұрын

@@lykosourliachto6185 lol

@buildingblock1518

2 жыл бұрын

They tested that possibility. Ingested 504 instances show no response to any jokes

@crazyfire9470

2 жыл бұрын

@Lýkos Ourliachtó probably won’t be as funny as it would be in gmod

So, who's more dangerous? SCP-504 instances, or the researchers who keep using them for pranks?

@juliaemerald4602

2 жыл бұрын

I cant believe there aren’t more comments about this! That appalled me!

@Sorakeyblademaster37

2 жыл бұрын

To be fair that wasn't on the site. The tomato shurikens was, but that might have been because of incompetence or oversight.

@michaelbrookman5863

2 жыл бұрын

Both,both is good

This is probably the funniest SCP out there. Loved that target joke lmao

@whooshdatjoosh6146

2 жыл бұрын

What about the rock that makes you procrastinate

@Gummybear7koolaid

2 жыл бұрын

Wait till you hear about the chocolate fountain that attacks anyone who eats it with ant like insects

@alexisbaz8746

2 жыл бұрын

There was a gun that draws d@$kcs in anything that fires right?, xd

@Zurround

Жыл бұрын

In my opinion CACTUS MAN is the funniest.

One of these tomatoes is definitely hitting me in the face someday

@Caveman4876

2 жыл бұрын

me too

@tauceti8060

2 жыл бұрын

Atleast you will die doing what you love lol

@Bleepbleepblorbus

2 жыл бұрын

Same

@cookieelement3467

2 жыл бұрын

I'm gonna fucking die to one of these things

@Zak-tk8wv

2 жыл бұрын

"Paimon emergency food".

This might be the best SCP video yet. The bad jokes are part of the test logs and not part of the script.

Heh, can you imagine IF said Monty Python's Funniest Joke in the World was a real SCP? It'd be easy to contain.

@rafigross

2 жыл бұрын

We just need to make sure that if people hear it, then it should be a different language

@carlitosbro

2 жыл бұрын

@@rafigross and then one day if they ever learn that language, they remember that joke and die.

@rafigross

2 жыл бұрын

@@carlitosbro yes

@rafigross

2 жыл бұрын

@Parrie Jenkins lol

@jimmyh.7274

2 жыл бұрын

Monthy Pythons is maybe a part of 05 Council, faking history of this joke for save the world from the real deadly joke. Ask Terry Gilliam, he made "the fifth element" warning other researcher with a message in a movie.

I heard about this SCP, didn't believe it existed, and am now laughing my ass off knowing I was wrong.

@goreobsessed2308

2 жыл бұрын

Theirs thousands of scp nothing surprises me anymore

Isn't it kind of fucked up how the foundation decided to not give the D-class helmets, even though they were just testing the scps reaction and not the effects of high velocity tomato trauma?

@conner3626

2 жыл бұрын

but its so much work to get the helmets and then you have to write a report about where the helmets went

@ibraheemtemur3469

2 жыл бұрын

I actually think that they were testing also high velocity tomato trauma, they might need a species of tomato that reacts to slogans/chanting for example so it could be used against protestors or cultist. So they need to know that the impact isnt going to be lethal.

@dragonlord3376

2 жыл бұрын

8:51 I, uh, I don't thi k a helmet would really help

@hanzzel6086

2 жыл бұрын

@@dragonlord3376 Not in that case....

@obsidironpumicia4074

2 жыл бұрын

Traumatoe*

_"Why can't you trust a nosey pepper?"_ **[ SILENCE]** _"Because they'll all be j'alapeno business!"_ *The Tomato: *[INSERT > "Running in the 90's" < MUSIC HERE]**

Addendum: All request use of SCP 504 in Amy Schumer’s live performances will automatically be denied

@joewilenzik9119

2 жыл бұрын

It is tempting though

Tomato when tomato joke: tis a scratch. Tomato when engineering joke: *I am become death, destroyer of worlds*

Considering how easily that could have lead to someone’s death, I wouldnt be surprised if d class got three new members

@The_Legend47

Жыл бұрын

Darn right!

Special containment procedures: In the perimeter of Area *** telling Jokes is banned for personel without lvl 3 clearance. Any personel with suficient security level is allowed to tell Jokes, but have to recite Monthy Python's "funniest Joke in the world" BEFORE telling a Joke.

"Well that escalated from a 0 to 100 real quick!" :D Scp-504:

Papyrus finally has the perfect weapon against his brother’s crappy puns.

@lykosourliachto6185

2 жыл бұрын

Eh, I'm pretty sure Sans would know something's a-fruit

@shougozero259

2 жыл бұрын

@@lykosourliachto6185 🍅🍅🍅

@ronshimo8386

2 жыл бұрын

Bold of you to assume Sans Sans wouldn't be able to dodge it

@Kill_peter

2 жыл бұрын

@@ronshimo8386 it might get to fast and he would die

@anatolyburgovski

2 жыл бұрын

@@lykosourliachto6185 Yeah, papyrus would be caught RED-handed

Telling any of Amy Schumer's jokes results in the tomatoes flying at the joke teller at the speed of light, immediately causing an atomic explosion.

@thecluckster3908

2 жыл бұрын

But what if it’s one of the good jokes? You know, the ones she stole from other people?

@TheFyy6y

2 жыл бұрын

@@thecluckster3908 it still flies because she can make a good joke sound like shit

@thecluckster3908

2 жыл бұрын

@@TheFyy6y true

@freekraccbacc

2 жыл бұрын

Not true, the tomato does nothing, unable to detect a joke.

@izzulazrizal702

2 жыл бұрын

@@freekraccbacc DAMN nice

I honestly thought that the scientists who were uncontrollably giggling was caused by the SCP Specimen. I was waiting for that. Obviously they're just insane?

Damn this time I feel bad for the D classes. Obviously they were acquitted of crimes that are not severe since the Tomato kills rarely

d class: **tells a really complicated math joke** the tomato: *transcends reality and moves at lightspeed towards the d class obliterating the entire test chamber*

Basically, when you tell a joke to this SCP, it better be good...or you gonna get more than tomato on your face.

Hmm, hunter must be taking a break

"The Scp Foundation is cold, not cruel." Ba-dum-Tss 🥁

Rotten Tomatoes in a nutshell. 3:38 Yyyikes! That tomato paused for the mount of time it takes to say 'omae wa mou shinderiu' and speed blitzed him! It probably took a second to process how staggeringly bad the joke was (in it's opinion) before unleashing its wrath. Also, the most consistent thing I hate about The Foundation is their use of D-Class personnel, but these researchers seem particularly reprehensible.

@Sorakeyblademaster37

2 жыл бұрын

It depends on which canon you're using but the SCP actually started using genetically engineered clones to deal with this problem. They're genetically engineered to have just enough sapience/sentience to do D-class work and their organs will fail without Foundation-produced nutrients. Whether this is less unethical or an even worse atrocity depends on whether or not you think the clones are sapient enough to count as people.

@MisterEvvvSymphoenix

2 жыл бұрын

@@Sorakeyblademaster37😐 ... Attempting to process moral implications ... attempt failed ... I _suppose_ that's better ... kinda ...

Those researchers need to be demoted into D class and used as test subjects for scp 504 as punishment

@The_Legend47

Жыл бұрын

Agreed

They should've gave the D class a deez nuts joke or a joe mama joke

@unaihmg9352

2 жыл бұрын

You really want a d-class to die don't you

@pigman1470

2 жыл бұрын

that would cause an XK class scenario

@Billy-bx3se

2 жыл бұрын

The first one makes sense LOL CUZ CLASS-D AND D--- N---

@figuregaming3872

2 жыл бұрын

@@Billy-bx3se class deez

This is how you get demoted to D-Class from SCP staff.

Lol, not only they adjust their strength to how bad the joke is but actually even get confused to how bad a joke is, now that’s quality control

"This is not a laughing matter." "Wait 4 more seconds."

@aviutle

Ай бұрын

🍅・・・？

Things Dr. Bright is not allowed to do No.92567 (Dr.Bright is not allowed to tell fellow researchers to make pranks by putting some scp-504 specimens in the cafeteria kitchen ever again) Dr. Bright is not allowed to do anything related to pranking someone by using scp-504 ever again, even if that was Clef your pranking which is kinda funny

Is it possible that the tomatoes have an anomalous effect to make those around them play practical jokes, considering jokes and comedy already being a prominent element part of the classification

@The_Legend47

11 ай бұрын

Hmm 🤔.... I dunno

Hey! I'm featured in this video! Nice! And not to mention, I had no idea my kind could move that fast!

These tomatoes are so dramatic. Imagine making a bad joke and a tomato straight up kills you for it.

SCP 504 is actually deadly. it did kill and they just laugh? damn that cold. Dr Blast is right to wanting them to be fired.

@cybersquirrell1370

2 жыл бұрын

This is the same foundation where D class are slaughtered on the daily. I think the idea of ethics doesn't really apply to any of the scientists.

@Kuro3k

2 жыл бұрын

and people question the need for an Ethics Comittee on the Foundation. IMAGINE IF THERE WASN'T ONE.

@CM-hx5dp

2 жыл бұрын

@@cybersquirrell1370 that is somewhat incorrect, they aren't fine with D-class dying when they know that didn't need to or have to happen

@dacianplayer8549

2 жыл бұрын

@Joseph Bleifus There is a good chance that they use D-class personnel as cooks

@agentk4281

2 жыл бұрын

Or better yet, they might get that signature D-class promotion

I think this is the most “But why?” SCP I've yet seen.

The words "What if we, cut up the tomatoes?" made me die.

I'm glad you covered this, because the actual read is honestly not very good, IMO. But the visuals just connect all the pieces, I feel

he is my favorite streamer but he does make a lot of bad jokes

This is one of the most Hilarious SCPs I've come across. Also some of the bad jokes were actually funny

Imagine your at a grocery store near a stack of tomatoes and someone tells a joke and the tomatoes start flying at people badly hurting them.

It can't decide whether SNL is actually supposed to be funny or not, that's relatable

Why no face shields, or tempered glass for the D class/equipment? I'd want to know if the Tomato would change course.

@notnotalwen4891

2 жыл бұрын

They are called delightful class for a reason

@basicbacon5951

2 жыл бұрын

I mean its clear that the tomatoes can so fast it can kill people and obliterate objects, really no point

@JM64

2 жыл бұрын

That's just potential shrapnel, which would create more disfiguring/lethal results than just being clocked in the skull

This anomaly is hilarious 😂

A moment of silence for the poor D class who got erased from existence after asking the tomato if they like Imagine Dragon...

Imagine going into a room full of scp 504 and telling the worst joke you know.

@charlesblackwell327

2 жыл бұрын

No. Just ... no.

They should bring in Rainier Wolfcastle to do a tight five. The mess would be catastrophic, but the battle would be legendary.

I guess these tomatoes now have 3 new test subjects, and they need to tell dad jokes to them.

Dr. Bright is not allowed to replace tomatoes used in catering with SCP-504 instances during the annual open-mic comedy club event

8:09 "The tomato shows signs of confusion" is a sentence I never thought I would hear.

The researchers who brought back in the 3 d-class actually proves that the target is the person who delivers the punchline, not the set up. I wonder what would happen if one was told a bad joke in its entirety via intercom. Would it destroy the speaker, or go after the actual person saying it?

@Jay-or5ex

2 жыл бұрын

I theorize it would destroy the speaker not the individual where ever sound is being omitted. This is because of the Laptops and devices that were use to tell the jokes. The room is isolated, as long as the person who delivers in the punchline is in a separate room they will be fine.

@Sorakeyblademaster37

2 жыл бұрын

They've played recordings of bad humor and the tomatoes destroy the physical medium. Neither the article or the author imply that they're biding their time to hit whoever told the joke, or that they even have the necessary intelligence for that.

I have a good idea to test SCP-504: Try Rickrolling

This has always been one of my favourites for its sheer ridiculousness

I wonder how the tomatoes would react to anti humor like: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Hey, where's my tractor"

I absolutely love this SCP, great stuff all-round. But wow, are those three researchers actual psychos. How have not all three of them not gotten kicked out yet?

Oh dear, I didn't realize tomatoes can be terrifying! 😰

Before tik tok : Wow, those tomatoes are dangerous After Tik Tok : We need that tomatoes

I used to work at an orange juice factory but I got fired because I could concentrate SCP-504 : 🍅 **Flies across room breaking nose**

So basically from what I can understand The tomatoes do what people want to do when someone tells a bad joke?

@The_Legend47

11 ай бұрын

Basically, yes

A recording of gen z memes are played. A voice says,“Ay yo the pizza here.” The man then falls down the stairs as the Taco Bell ding, multiple fart noises, and the popular vine boom sound is played over top of it. An SCP 504 instance immediately flys forward and levitates in the air for 5 seconds. Then, it violently crashes down, tearing through the concrete floor and leaving an approximately 35 meter hole in ground. This hole appeared to be in the shape of a small, round-like astronaut.

It's about Time ya showed up Original Narrator Guy 🤟.

So a tomato who hates bad jokes. Quite the “pun”ishment

What if they cook it would cooking the tomato "kill" it or effect it's speed?.... it would probably at the very least be less destructive as cooked tomato is mushy

If you brought in MatPat, he wouldn't even have to say anything to get hit by one of these tomatoes

@Zak-tk8wv

2 жыл бұрын

Why?

@keksidy

2 жыл бұрын

@@Zak-tk8wv He's painfully unfunny

@TK-tf6rb

2 жыл бұрын

No

Okay, C.O.R.G.Y is awesome. His very concept gets my imagination running.

I like how the scientists laugh while D personnel get wrecked.

My favorite narrator! Long live infographics!

What's worse than raining cats and dogs? Hailing taxis.

@QuicklimeTime

2 жыл бұрын

_(504 throws itself at [BSC] )_

Fired? That's getting off easy. A demotion to D-Class seems more appropriate.

@if7723

2 жыл бұрын

@Joseph Bleifus They both A: could not have known it wouldn't cause a loss of personnel and B: objectively wasted Foundation resources if any medical aid was required to be rendered. And not even for a scientific reason, the foundation is fine with losses if it serves a purpose.

Yaaay I love infographics Voice Actor ^^!!!

alt+f4

@asdfihnfaiuwbnf

2 жыл бұрын

Ctrl + alt + delete

I like how the story is shaped like a joke, as in the repetitive use of ‘x enters the room’. Probably unintentional but a nice touch nonetheless

Yes! Finally they do this SCP. It's so good!

I bet that one D class that got hit it the eye didn't SEE that coming :D

I like to think the twitching is the tomato thinking the joke not worth smashing itself at the joketeller, and it not responding just simply not caring.

Just for anyone curious 2174 mph is Mach 2.83 (at sea level) Also I love the implication that there's jokes out there bad enough to get these tomatoes to undergo fusion and thus can be used as discrete weapons of mass destruction.

Imagine having PTSD from tomatoes, poor class D, just listen to it make me shiver from my head _TOMATOES_

whatever they do, never say “amogus” or “sussy” to it or else the tomato will go faster than the speed of light, so fast that it creates a wormhole

my friend : starts telling shitty jokes me : places a strange looking tomato and laughing

I bet the probability that the ringleader of the researchers was brought in to test SCP-504 after being demoted to d class was high.

Dr Blast with an MTF: (points to researchers) alright you chuckleheads, guess who’s the next test subjects!

*clears throat* A burglar robbed an art museum, and ended up getting caught very easily. When asked why he was caught, the burglar said "I did not have the Monet to buy De Gas to make the Van Gogh"

@crystalyue5701

2 жыл бұрын

And I guess it didn't take the police long to *ketchup* _This joke resulted in a tomato flying in from the speed of light, causing a nuclear explosion and ending all life as we know it_