Humanity: invents martial laws of war Alien races: ignores them Humanity: Geneva convention? More like Geneva Suggestion.

@AgroSquerril

3 жыл бұрын

its ass whoopen time

@nothuman3083

3 жыл бұрын

Perhaps the true war crimes where the friends we made along the way.

@stargate55746

3 жыл бұрын

More like the geneva checklist

@prussiankingdom1693

3 жыл бұрын

@@AgroSquerril "napalm sticks to kids" but fun fact "flame based weapons are not banned, they cant be used within a certain area of towns, the public hold more power over it (closest quote i can find is "civilians dont like defeats, it upsets them at their breakfast)"

@battlesheep2552

3 жыл бұрын

There's a reason they're called "human rights"

Those who choose not to be constrained by the Geneva Convention should always remember that they are not protected by it as a result.

@alexisgrunden1556

3 жыл бұрын

Doesn't that thing only technically apply to humans, anyways~? 😈

@jackgooge9538

3 жыл бұрын

@@alexisgrunden1556 It would probably be extended to count any race who decided to sign on

@alexisgrunden1556

3 жыл бұрын

@@jackgooge9538 True, but until the signature's on the paper...it's legally open season. Or at least arguably a legal grey area.

@IRMentat

2 жыл бұрын

@@alexisgrunden1556 Depends how much we like the other side.

@prestonjones1653

Жыл бұрын

@@alexisgrunden1556 Unfortunately, the Nuremberg Trials proved that to be false. Although the Soviet Union had never signed the Geneva Convention, which German lawyers argued meant that the Soviets were not protected by its provisions. the German Kaiserreich had, and as such all successor states, including Nazi Germany, were bound by it in all cases; thus all atrocities performed by the Wermacht and Einsatztruppen (idk how to spell German words) were treated as warcrimes. However, because the Soviet Union, nor the Russian Empire before it, had signed the Convention, and afaik the Russian Federstion still hasn't, any atrocities committed by the Soviets were not tried (also winning the war certainly helped).

Both stories boil down to "So I took that personally."

@soffren

3 жыл бұрын

Serial killers after skinning alien leaders alive: "And We took that personally"

Humanity wishes to play the game of peace, for it has mastered the game of war and genocide and has grown bored.

@charlesspence4015

2 жыл бұрын

So true

@joshuarasmussen5679

Жыл бұрын

Why human don't fight wars.... ... human commander: we don't fight wars because we know what we are capable of... and no one deserves that.

First one is literally "Do not bite a feeding hand" turned full AVENGERS: ASSEMBLE by humanity

@AgroSquerril

3 жыл бұрын

engage avengers music

“Oh what’s that? You don’t like us? Believe me, we don’t like us either!” …. “Huh? Your using kidnapped mind controlled troops from a race that we are terrified of, and have made massive overtures to apologize for pissing our pants at on first contact, and You’re the ones who are doing this? Huh, that’s interesting! You know what else is interesting? We’ve miss placed our species entire nuclear Arsenal. Whoops! I think I just pressed the buttons to activate them all. My bad!”

@henrypaleveda7760

3 жыл бұрын

purging with fire is too good for them, switch to biologicals; they wanted war-crimes, let's give them war-crimes.

@Crazylom

3 жыл бұрын

"Yoo, spider-people, are those the friendly species? That you brainwashed and trained to fight us?" "Yah!" "And you took our disgracefully big apologies for first contact while didn't even begin be good to us?" "...Sure!" "And you DARE to not release those poor zenos after enslaving and forcing them to war with us, whilst we did our best to not kill them?!" "...Maybe?" "...Here. Let us show how to be REAL FUCKING *BAD,* amateurs!"

@superspicy8740

2 жыл бұрын

@@Crazylom *YOU THINK WAR CRIMES ARE YOUR ALLIES! BUT YOU MERELY ADOPTED THEM! WE WERE BORN IN THEM MOULDED BY THEM FOR CENTURIES!*

@CrazyJayThaNinja

2 жыл бұрын

@@Crazylom The Arachnid race were the docile and friendly ones, not the aggressors. As far as the story is concerned, there's no conflict with unbrainwashed Uroxans. Humanity cuts diplomatic ties, believeing themselves betrayed, then reopens them upon discovery of the control chip.

@gmailquinn

Жыл бұрын

@@CrazyJayThaNinja ^

When the one room mate who kills all the spiders (because they're not scared for some reason) shows up, it's all over

When you see a human lawyer, run.

@AgroSquerril

3 жыл бұрын

fling Karens at it , may help

@geoshark12

3 жыл бұрын

If a human lawyer see you run faster

@soffren

3 жыл бұрын

@@geoshark12 "excuse me, have you or a loved one been injured by Xenos? You may be entitled to financial compensation" *Chasing at full speed* "Here take my card!"

@superspicy8740

2 жыл бұрын

@@soffren I can just imagine it ending like this L: *flings card* You won’t stop running so here, CATCH! *Card proceeds to go through the xeno’s spine or closest thing to a spine* Random voice from out of nowhere: HEADSHOT! LAWYER WINS!

@johncochran8497

Жыл бұрын

Naa. A lawyer is simply an attack librarian.

The first story is just humans showing off some handme down toys to the driss and not taking i dont want to play for a answer hahahaha

Aliens: *commits a war crime* Humanity: You shouldn’t do that. Aliens: What are you gonna do? Humanity: Show you how it’s done. Aliens: What?

@AgroSquerril

3 жыл бұрын

lol

@asurasyn

3 жыл бұрын

"Oh, you think war crimes are your ally, but you merely adopted the war! We were born in it. Molded by it. We didn't see peace until we had already achieved FTL, and by then, it was nothing to us but _blinding!_ "

@dynamicworlds1

3 жыл бұрын

Never push a human so far that they feel they must prove by example why they feel the rules you're breaking are so important. Even other humans should fear making such a mistake.

@alliesofcallofduty

3 жыл бұрын

The officers arent there to guide us they're there to protect you...

@superspicy8740

2 жыл бұрын

@@asurasyn *UNLIMITED HISTORY OF WAR CRIMES!*

We must give the narrator credit for being able to read off some of these author/user names and still maintain composure

"You merely broke the rules. We were the reason they were made."

@kevincaruthers5412

3 ай бұрын

Best Comment!

Aliens be ballin until humans start space Nam

@scottjefcoats6645

3 жыл бұрын

It's all fun and games until you piss off the Terran Murder Monkeys.

Humans: *softly cuddling the arachnids* Driss: what are you going to do you little bitch! Haha! Humans: *grins insanely* make an example out of you Driss: I beg your pardon? ()A year later() Human: they all died of natural causes. Other species: you seriously made them so terrified of what was gonna happen that they would rather jump off a cliff. Human: *gravity is natural*

@slowfudgeballs9517

2 жыл бұрын

I can't believe how pro war crime everyone here is. I am too. But I still just can't believe it.

@doctorwolf1229

2 жыл бұрын

Indeed

@CT-1035

Жыл бұрын

Can confirm, willingly subjecting oneself to rapid mental disassembly via rapid cessation of velocity due to the planets surface is natural

@betrayall1011

Жыл бұрын

It wasn't the fall that killed to them... It was the abrupt stop that did.

Oh man! Not the psycho-drop!

@lilghengiskhan6830

3 жыл бұрын

Omfg this made me laugh so hard I just had an image In my head of a bunch of psychos from borderlands being dropped on a planet to rip and tear 😂😂😂

@ericwhite3526

3 жыл бұрын

Or the place they store the joker being hurled in the middle of their capitol in such a way all the loonies come out fully armed

@CptPhilippnes

3 жыл бұрын

Damn it's like what happens in Warhammer 40k when the Officio Assassinorum sends in Eversor Assassins to terrorize an entire city.

@ethancolebarrett

3 жыл бұрын

@@CptPhilippnes Wrryyyyyy!!!!

@archdornan4389

3 жыл бұрын

@@CptPhilippnes No, it's more like Conrad Kurze and the boys.

There is nothing more dangerous than human compassion. If we hate you, we'll fight you and make you suffer. If you hurt those we love or care for, the only thing that will sate our bloodlust is your complete and utter annihilation.

@slowfudgeballs9517

2 жыл бұрын

Happens within the species too, we got good at it. Couldn't believe how bad I wanted to commit a felony when my lil' step sister came home after being bullied for being "not white." Woke culture is degenerative.

@gmailquinn

Жыл бұрын

Human compassion: fuck around and find out

I am a simple man, I see a new up load I like. I see a HFY story, I comment for the Algorithm.

@AgroSquerril

3 жыл бұрын

for the algorithm

Aliens: search for human weakness humans: Ha! We have no weakness. Aliens: send giant spiders Humans: scream in fear Aliens: Finally! Surrender at once! Humans: send the Australians Australians: Crikey! Look at that beauty. Can someone pls write one about Steven Irwin exploring new dangerous alien wildlife.

Play dirty games, win dirty prizes.

@bobsterclause342

3 жыл бұрын

Ge wrecked when your lack of skill catches up to you

Algorithm. For you, we remember the importance of balancing compassion with zeal.

@AgroSquerril

3 жыл бұрын

for the algorithm

"GONE ROGUE" Black ops in space !?

No slaves, did you hear me NO SLAVES!

Hurt our friends and allies and we will make sure you didn't.

Algorithm for the! -Yoda, probably.

@reasonablehiccups4792

3 жыл бұрын

For the algorithm

@AgroSquerril

3 жыл бұрын

for the algorithm

We made the rules of war we sure as hell can break them

@IRMentat

2 жыл бұрын

Rules are thee for a reason, bending the rules helps to confirm where the boundaries are. Vagueness is the enemy of stability.

@sethgilcrist8088

2 жыл бұрын

There more like guidelines. Then rules

@prestonjones1653

Жыл бұрын

@@sethgilcrist8088 They're more like a checklist.

@gmailquinn

Жыл бұрын

@@prestonjones1653 in the correct setting, and the xenos set the stage

Darn,.thought it was actual necromancy and using undead to fight slavery. VICTORY FOR THE FORSAKEN!

GO TEAM HUMAN i enjoyed both stories and narration i hope we eventually live up to both of them

Space spiders? Do they produce webs, like ours...hmm. I can see alot of uses for that naturally. Seems badass.

@Akredi

Жыл бұрын

Yup, best tailors of the galaxy

Story 1. Plausible deniability taken on another level. Those stupid Driss made a big mistake.

I love the stories interpreting humans as space orcs but I often feel like the humans in these stories are a bit Too Perfect; rather than being unusual or even unique, a buncha these stories just write humanity as better in all aspects. Or maybe that's just my human perspective on the story

@xavierzaxavier5873

2 жыл бұрын

there more....there a video where we lost...we the invader or etc....killing other race just because we want to....

@veryangryduckpl2122

2 жыл бұрын

I could totally see myself fighting for the alien side in these stories or with VASTLY different motivations and goals. There is no way we wouldn't split into a ducking star wars galaxy (the good republic, the CAN I JUST LEAVE separatists, the evil empire and the good rebels of the empire, along with a random crime syndicate) when we take a STEP out of Earth. I doubt there won't be another Hitler or Sundower in all of these stories who does these warcrimes for enjoynment and not because they hurt spooder people.

@veryangryduckpl2122

Жыл бұрын

@Zoomer Stasi Laughs in the entire planet I live on being made from broken and sharp lego's*

@veryangryduckpl2122

Жыл бұрын

@Zoomer Stasi Thou fool, I placed many dogs with bats that can send them to horny jail!

@ChaoticTeen16

Жыл бұрын

Most of those stories also describe Earth as an outright Deathworld, a planet so hostile to life as they know it that ANYTHING that lives and thrives there must be an absolute monster compared to the average Galactic citizen.

Never suffer a slaver to live.

Shed Britaanic tear for that is what we did to outlaw slavery. yep and the 8 front war

Driss choose death.

For the Author(s), for the narrator Agro Squirrel, for the algorithm !!!

ALL that is overseen by the tube of U!

@AgroSquerril

3 жыл бұрын

so basically... everything

Liberty Battalions. AMERICA. FUCK YEA!

The Germans helping pick out warcrimes: ah yes, zat is a good choice.

@WE_DONT_LIE

Жыл бұрын

Ich persönlich habe das und das getestet

The third story is incongruent with current events around the world.

Cool, you found our primal fear. We did something dumb and embarrassing to perfectly kind beings. But you enslaved them, and used them against their nature. YOU ARE DONE! OVER!

@Exsen_V_Ravensun

2 жыл бұрын

The Humans pulled a Twitter and Cancelled them (But unlike Twitter we had a good reason).

Both great stories

@AgroSquerril

3 жыл бұрын

glad you liked

Bless the Squerril Bless the Author

The first story: To quote The Doctor “good men don’t have rules. Today is NOT the day to find out why I have so many” The driss didn’t listen

Thanks for the sories.

@AgroSquerril

3 жыл бұрын

a pleasure

first story we introduce the zenos to a new concept, plausible deniability. Second story humans are crusaders when we discover a cause, it's best to go along with it. For the algorythm. For the voice. May the nanite swarms only take the worn out socks.

It should tell you more than enough about (a species) if they have THAT many rules and codes of conduct, might be better to follow them rather than to fuck around And them likely find out why those exist

@kevincaruthers5412

3 ай бұрын

To paraphrase: "A good species doesn't need rules. You don't want to find out why humans have so many."

congrats, your free trial of Geneva Convention favours has finished, surrender to prolong the favour or die in terror without it

Thank you for the reading

Great stories gotta say

@AgroSquerril

3 жыл бұрын

glad you liked

@marshmallowgod284

3 жыл бұрын

@@AgroSquerril so I'm new to all this hfy stories any you would recommend

@AgroSquerril

3 жыл бұрын

​@@marshmallowgod284 my personal fav is kzread.info/dash/bejne/n4iOuNqrgbLXd6g.html , but there are too many others that are a "Second" to that

@reasonablehiccups4792

3 жыл бұрын

@@marshmallowgod284 The Kevin Jankins Experience, When death worlders meet by andrews_2nd_account, Beast by jack the snake bake cake, and Billy Bob space trucker That should send you down the proverbial rabbit hole

@marshmallowgod284

3 жыл бұрын

Thank you all I'll be sure to check them out

Fun facts the British empire ended slavery within it's territory and ended the practice of widow burning in India. Fascist Italy went to war in northern Africa to end slavery.

100,000 let's go....!!!!!

When the race (Humans) who have beaten you in war Say "Or Else" Listen closely Or Else

For the Squerril

@AgroSquerril

3 жыл бұрын

for the algorithm

@reasonablehiccups4792

3 жыл бұрын

For Argo

For the algorithm!

@reasonablehiccups4792

3 жыл бұрын

For the algorithm

@AgroSquerril

3 жыл бұрын

for the algorithm

@Ander-5187

3 жыл бұрын

@@AgroSquerril that's dedication For the algorithm

@bobsterclause342

3 жыл бұрын

For the swarm

Geneva Conventions? More like Geneva Suggestions.

for the squerril

@AgroSquerril

3 жыл бұрын

For the algorithm

Every one of these slavery stories reminds me that there are more slaves now in Earth than ever before.

For the algorithm

@AgroSquerril

3 жыл бұрын

For the algorithm

now woundering if theres like fandoms within this fandom like transformers or something thoe i think thats just cause i have IDW on the brain so i wanna try merging shiz together-

Bob the dragon

@AgroSquerril

3 жыл бұрын

Piff the Dragon

F. T. A.

@AgroSquerril

3 жыл бұрын

For the algorithm

F.T.A

@AgroSquerril

3 жыл бұрын

For the algorithm

Story #1: FAFO

For the Algorithm11!

For the Algorithm

F.A.S.

@AgroSquerril

2 жыл бұрын

For the algorithm

203rd, 5 February 2023

I wonder if there's a HFY variant with a more realistic outlook? Y'know, as in where no, Humanity isn't the top dog and no, our supposed metacognitive power does not make us gods among xenos. Humanity fuck no lmfao

@lunatic-db6mp

3 жыл бұрын

You know that the entire idea of hfy is of humans actually being strong right? Thats why its called Humanity, Fuck Yeah What you just described is basically every othe space sci fi

@christhopervargas2275

3 жыл бұрын

In some of them its just weird and are not on top or humans are on top on other thing for only one gimmick or trick

@Nightshade_Rose

3 жыл бұрын

r/humansarespacecats is kinda like that

@Helman114

3 жыл бұрын

@@lunatic-db6mp I know what's it called? Maybe variant was a bad word for it. And what other space sci fi does not have humanity at the proverbial top or somehow emboldening of its spirit in some way shape or form? I just want a realistic approach. I don't want utter doom and despair or to belittle humanity. At the same time, I don't want to see it put on an unrealistic pedestal as such stories are just utterly boring imho.

@donanthebarbarian5177

3 жыл бұрын

@@Helman114 stop watching HFY stories, check out humans are space orcs subreddit, HFY is all about humanity being awesome in some way or another. Either we're the heros who sacrificed ourselves to save others, gods in mortal form, or something in between. HFY is all about humanity being awesome so you'll not find any stories where humanity isn't top dog or a unstoppable force once awakened from our slumber.

I don't care spider are gross

I like the first story fuck with us and what we care about and we will show you the dark side we keep away from the rest of the galaxy

@gmailquinn

Жыл бұрын

Beware a gentleman's rage

@anthonypreston8355

Жыл бұрын

@@gmailquinn exactly

For the algorithm!

@AgroSquerril

3 жыл бұрын

for the algorithm

For the algorithm

@AgroSquerril

3 жыл бұрын

For the algorithm