Lochte is trying to pick his words carefully and diplomatically. Which is what you do when describing dysfunction in your family of origin

@koreypaul6698

3 жыл бұрын

It's also what you do when you have things burried deep down..

@tigergreg8

3 жыл бұрын

I agree, he didn't really want to automatically say the wrong thing, then regret it later, like many other people seem to do.

@derriklee287

3 жыл бұрын

You're the expert in disfunction

@ms.mojo_risin

3 жыл бұрын

Korey Paul YEP. & I know this. PeaCe&ReSPeCt, Shelley

@sasabowtie9543

3 жыл бұрын

100% growing up I feel the same way.

I respect that he dosen't go into specifics. The pain is genuine. He has boundaries, which I respect. You are watching a person with class.

@naturistfred

3 жыл бұрын

You had to read between the lines and add the dots. Dad seemed like he was cheating on Mom, Mom had the kids turn on Dad, Dad remarried and now Ryan considers Stepmom the best Mom. It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure this one out.

@jomc3

2 жыл бұрын

😂 class??? Look up Lochte in Brazil

@sleepymage7165

2 жыл бұрын

@@jomc3 that was a long time ago

@dehende07

10 ай бұрын

​@@sleepymage7165doesn't matter if it was a long time ago He still lied

@saeed7099

Ай бұрын

@@dehende07did he? Specifically tell me what he lied about it? His problem unfortunately is that he’s an idiot. From what I see he’s a good guy though

As most therapists will tell ANYONE, the two major issues 70% clients they treat for are called mom and dad. Most of the long term emotional issues stem from childhood issues related to parents/guardians/family or childhood emotional trauma.

@doctordootch

3 жыл бұрын

My mother - the gaslighter

@maxithebello

3 жыл бұрын

And this comes from a therapist?

@Noscams00

3 жыл бұрын

@@maxithebello read a book and learn about it....

@jonnuanez2843

3 жыл бұрын

When I went into counseling 20+ years ago, it was initially about a bad breakup. 2 sessions later, it turned into mom and dad. And that's when the floodgates opened.

@CK-ps7sm

3 жыл бұрын

So true and most addiction issues stem from parental neglect of children emotions

I understand Ryan. My mom is the same. She’ll never apologize for the awful things she’s done to me. It’s despicable.

@JordanPAT

2 жыл бұрын

Our moms are human, with all the faults, frailties, and confused feelings that come with that mortal state.

@moreofawave

2 жыл бұрын

@@JordanPAT And humans apologize when they eff up and so should this person's mother. I think the bible went overboard with the 'honor my mother/father' stuff but didn't put in a contingency for when your parents are assholes. My mother in non-specific words said 'I get to treat you like crap but you have to honor your mother'. Yeah, NO.

@Mommapunkin

2 жыл бұрын

I'm so sorry your mother never validated on what your feelings. It would brake my heart not to be able to speak to my children or grandchildren. I would apologize and validate their feeling, because I may not see it the they did/do, BUT that would not be a hill that I am prepared to die on. My children and grandchildren are everything to me. And why some parents can't see that, I just can't understand it.

@JordanPAT

2 жыл бұрын

@@moreofawave Try the Grey Rock method. It will help you gain control of the narcissist and prevent them from destroying your life.

@moreofawave

2 жыл бұрын

@@JordanPAT Thanks, D. I am currently trying the "I blocked on my phone" method and that's working fine. :p Don't have another family reunion until Thanksgiving if she says anything I'm going to ask for an apology for the last time she treated me like shit and if she doesn't have one for me I'll just go back to the 'block' method. She has more to gain talking to me, than I do talking to her. Normally, I just let the shit she says/does to me go but I am not ok with that right now.

I cried just with his few words. "She never apologize..." I felt his emotions

Not all women who give birth or the men that fertilized their egg(s) are good parents. They can procreate, takes a big person to really parent.

@steviem8117

2 жыл бұрын

Very true. I'm a 37/F and if I ever want children, I will 100% adopt or foster to adopt. It's just hard finding a man who shares the same beliefs. There are enough kids out there who need true parents that weren't born to parental types and in unfortunate circumstances that they can't break away from. Also, a very interesting 23andMe result later in life also taught me just how little blood factors into the person you become.

@mrooz9065

2 жыл бұрын

Procreation doesn’t equate parenting.

@cynthiawilson5066

2 жыл бұрын

I agree but what about spoiled ass kids

@savinabees9220

2 жыл бұрын

Nicely put! I think it sucks to not have great parents but if you get parents that just....procreate. That don't seem like they are meant to "parent " in any real way (unable or unwilling) The journey becomes something else. 🤔 How can I best parent my young self and thus, my own babies. Welcome. 💗 I am a woman of a lifelong suicidal mom. She completed suicide eventually when I was 39 . My son 9 at the time. .She was 59 and her own mom....79. Traumatic? He'll ya! But the gratitude I have now for finding myself and giving myself what I clearly didn't get.( safety stability unconditional love...) is irreplaceable. I live a full life with presence and love because of and in spite of my struggles. 💜♥️

@steviem8117

2 жыл бұрын

@@savinabees9220 well said. your words are very powerful and you carry with you such a positive way of thinking. you could definitely and easily have pulled the “i have an excuse” card to play right with the cycle of parenting you were raised around… major props to you for not blaming yourself for any of your Mom’s (or other family members) life choices or anything and choosing to parent in a way that you definitely seems to be 100% different than the childhood that you received. I truly hope that you are proud of yourself for the life choices you have made and changed for the better - if I was your kiddo, I’m be so thankful you came to this realization that being a truly great parent takes sooo much more than just the bare minimum. Kids are so self aware to what’s going on around them, even if they are still to young to even express themselves. Hell, I remember being about five and realizing I was the most emotionally mature person in a room of family members, which is sad looking back. I’m sure you can relate. Keep on keeping on down this positive track, girl! Much love from Kansas City! ❤️

This explains a lot. I know how he feels. I cut my mother off in 2011 and my life got better. It's sad but you have to move on for your own physical and mental health.

@kevinharris3993

2 жыл бұрын

You may have been better for cutting your mother off, but from Ryan's facial expressions, that is not the case. Too many traumatic changes have occurred in Ryan's life at pivotal points for Ryan to be okay. This is the Ryan Lochte that lied about being robbed at gunpoint in Brazil during the 2016 Olympics . When in fact, Ryan and friends were drunk and destroyed property at a gas station. Ryan's career continued to spiral out of control from that moment on.

@TaraHower

2 жыл бұрын

It hurts a lot at first and the guilt and shame is real.

@annt7384

2 жыл бұрын

Yes, it’s painful, and you mourn. No one says it’s easy, but it might save your life.

@annt7384

2 жыл бұрын

@@TaraHower hellz yes. Cutting off a parent doesn’t mean you cut off your whole family, but in reality that’s often the case.

@alisonlamontagne2170

2 жыл бұрын

I moved out of my mums hse 15 yesterday old never returned im 35,,, no I not answering her calls enough of drama mother that's it

Interesting…he sounds like a child as he speaks about this topic. His facial expressions and tone indicates severe pain and hurt from his Mom. He is happy now, but the child in him seems to still kinda care. I wish you the very best!

@jumbroni6014

2 жыл бұрын

He sounds like a child? We are all children making pretend we are not. Dont be silly. Humans fear responsibility.

@wincrasher2007

2 жыл бұрын

that's because he never grew up. he still acts like a child in his thirties and getting into trouble. he's going to have a hard time adjusting to his older years, especially with this unresolved baggage.

@jumbroni6014

2 жыл бұрын

@@wincrasher2007 maybe to your standards

@jackwilliam5341

2 жыл бұрын

No he just knows this is gonna be viewed by millions of strangers and doesn’t really want them to know the specifics of his family’s private life and past. He’s choosing his words carefully. Also obviously just uncomfortable talking about the subject, has nothing do with his sports career.

@JordanPAT

2 жыл бұрын

He seems scared here.

My mother is very much like this. She feels that she can say and do whatever she wants and I just have to take it and get over it. In over 25 years I have not once heard "I'm sorry" come out of her mouth. I still talk to her, but there's not much love there. It's very hard, but it's something you eventually make peace with and move on. I wish Ryan and his family the best.

@Cardude-ye6fh

2 жыл бұрын

This is how both my parents are, can't wait till I'm able to leave in two to three years. Waiting patiently.

@dannyg2197

Жыл бұрын

She's your mother get over it

@mr.sushi2221

Жыл бұрын

I had to teach my mom how to properly apologize and to this day I’m not even sure if it’s sincere.

@Ejexion

Жыл бұрын

It's funny how we hear that women apologize too much. I've seen the opposite, in my experience.

@extrastout1741

Жыл бұрын

I hope u don't end up regretting this when u become a parent yourself and ur mom is no longer on this earth

My mom was a nightmare my whole life. I forgave her but I never forgot and had to alienate myself from my entire family, because she choose to be the martyr. I tried shutting my mouth and letting it be, I spoke up, I got angry, I tried being nice, nothing worked. In the end, she made her choices and had to live with them. I made mine and have to live with them. I walked away at 32 and have not looked back in over 16 years. I wish things were different but I have a family to take care of and a life to live and she choose not to participate. She is gone now and I said a prayer for her passing and try to do better. That is all.

@thunderhammer593

3 жыл бұрын

To each his own

@greymatters14

3 жыл бұрын

I hear ya.

@2020girlygirl

3 жыл бұрын

I know exactly what you mean, sometimes you have to walk away.

@ariloves10

3 жыл бұрын

😔😪😥

@shellyg8617

3 жыл бұрын

You're describing my life pretty much. You gotta find love/support where you can. Sounds like you've done that🙂

I’d crawl over shards of shattered glass to set things right with my children. They’re the light of my life. I can’t imagine a life w/put them. ☺️🥰😘🙏🏻

@Utahtruckguy

3 жыл бұрын

My dad abandoned me when I was 6, came back into my when I was 18. We had a rocky relationship from 18-25. I am now 28 and haven’t talked to him in 3 years, haven’t heard a single word over text or call from him.

@Toilbaby

3 жыл бұрын

To hell with him. You are his God given gift and he treated you like s**t. Shame on him. You deserved better. May God bless you always. 🙏🏻 Lodie.

@ruthdederick7754

3 жыл бұрын

@@Utahtruckguy I’m so sorry. It isn’t your fault.

@emiliaescobar7652

3 жыл бұрын

Amen to that!

@sameenfatima143

2 жыл бұрын

Thats the way it should be

Both of my parents let me down. My grandparents raised me. I just try to be the best mom to my child

@micperez819

3 жыл бұрын

❤

@mattz8775

3 жыл бұрын

Yo go girl! Kids are everything.

@jessicaortizzz

3 жыл бұрын

@@mattz8775 thanks! I’ve just always tried to look at life on the bright side. I am glad to say I’m blessed and I do well for myself. If you look at my life it’s a blessing I’m where I am today.

@joseolvera4467

3 жыл бұрын

Bitch yes! That’s all you can do. Just care for your child love your child. Love your kid the way your parents didn’t love you. I don’t talk to my mom or dad to this day.

@MusabInamdar

3 жыл бұрын

Respect to you ma’am! My dad used to beat my mom physically on a regular and she still raised us in that household, didn’t want to seperate because of us the kids. I really think he hit a woman because his dad did the same to his mom. But I will never do that to my wife

This is parental alienation and it is real. It is also so hard to talk about as an adult child.

People on the outside don’t see what goes on in the inside. Never criticize someone making a decision like this.

Poor Ryan. On the surface he has it all, good looks and great talent, but such a troubled soul. I am glad to hear that he is healing. All I ever wanted from my own mother was an apology, but it's not possible for a narcissist to do that He realizes it too. We just have to get on with our lives. I wish you all the best Ryan.

@le_th_

3 жыл бұрын

Yes, that's true for most all of us who are born to a narcissist instead of a "mother" who is actually capable of love and empathy for their child. There is some freedom to learning they'll never be able to give an authentic apology, and to know they they were never capable of loving you no matter what you did or who you were. Narcissists are very damaged, emotionally arrested people.

@lovewhitey2027

2 жыл бұрын

Agreed 🗣U never get closure from Narcs

@gailarnold2660

2 жыл бұрын

I went through this type of thing also. I am so much better for it. This isn't a mom thing or a dad thing...it is a person thing and you can make choices to be happy. Who is in and who is out. Live your life with goals for happiness.

@JordanPAT

2 жыл бұрын

​@@lifesabeach3424 The "maternal archetype" is a woman who's always sacrificing, supporting, loving, and doing for her children. In reality, though, our moms are human, with all the faults, frailties, and confused feelings that come with that mortal state.

@JordanPAT

2 жыл бұрын

@@lifesabeach3424 True, but staying in an abusive relationship is not healthy.

Weird...like watching someone's therapy session. Seems private.

@horrorwhore7946

3 жыл бұрын

Yea this is gross

@tyefoster4935

3 жыл бұрын

No one's forcing him to say anything

@tyefoster4935

3 жыл бұрын

@Mike O i meant to send that in the direction of derek, i believe

@tyefoster4935

3 жыл бұрын

@Mike O youtube sucks now

@JM-yn8mb

3 жыл бұрын

At least it ended on a high note...

A lot of respect for Ryan speaking out on his family turmoil. Time heals all wounds. Some wounds just take longer than others.

I never knew this and I appreciate him speaking about this. My sister and I stopped speaking to our mother in 2015 after decades of abuse. It's still taboo

man hearts out to this guy and his family, family can be tough to deal with

I dont talk to my dad or my sister. It was hard at first super depressed but years later my life is so much better. I spend weeks happy as can be rather than waking up everyday feeling like shit

@RhondA11

3 жыл бұрын

I dont speak to my parents and sister either. It feels like a death.

@9188jenni

3 жыл бұрын

@@RhondA11 yes. Because in essence, it is. Grieving is a process but if it was for the best, in time you will recognize so.

@RhondA11

3 жыл бұрын

Tracy G thank you 🖤🙏🏼

@automnejoy5308

3 жыл бұрын

I haven't talked to a certain family member in years, and it's never felt hard. There was very little to grieve by that point.

I had the same problem with my family, I feel him because at some point in your life you just have to say I don't care and move on and be happy.

@germenehilda

3 жыл бұрын

Leave, it’s not worth your sanity.

@morgansimmons383

3 жыл бұрын

Can’t agree with this thread more 🙌🏾

@AvecPoesie

3 жыл бұрын

@R S123 That "guilty" feeling can be overcome. It comes from the gaslighting and abuse. Once you break free and begin the work of healing internally, the guilt will go away. Go no-contact from them and be FREE.

@ariloves10

3 жыл бұрын

@R S123 God bless you when it gets down to you or them survival instincts take over and then you will feel free to escape..with your life.

Guy has balls coming on national tv airing All this out 2020 needs more balls

This is almost EXACTLY my story. God bless you Ryan, thank you for speaking out about this.

@alexandra5127

2 жыл бұрын

Mine too, waiting for an apology I know will never come

Wonderful young man Wounded to the core I can relate Bless his heart

I love videos like this, because we get to see these celebs raw and unfiltered. No matter how much money they make or how famous they are, they are humans nonetheless and we should treat them as such. It's easy to be envious of famous folks because of the life they are perceived to live, but I think there are many ways in which their lives aren't so "glamorous". Much respect to Ryan Lochte

I haven't spoken to anyone in my family since 1973. Do I miss them? No. I miss what it should be like or could be like but its not and never was.

@sxfqry7415

2 жыл бұрын

Good for you! 👏🏻

@alexandra5127

2 жыл бұрын

Well said

@unknowntosociety01

2 жыл бұрын

How did you accomplish this?

@roberthurley6860

2 жыл бұрын

@@unknowntosociety01 You accomplish it one day at a time. When you are caught up in a dysfunctional family the only way to stop is to remove yourself totally from the dynamic. Is it hard? Yes. But soon weeks turn in to months turn in to years and you have your own new memories with the life you have created for yourself. Did I wish any of them harm? Absolutely not. But I realized one day I could not survive around them in any reasonable way.

Childhood trauma is always at the core of all our issues. I had the same type of parents both like his mother. I went no contact from them permanently. They have since died. Not phased.

If my kid needed an apology , I would be willing to give it and work over things

His inner child is so expressive, it's gut wrenching. Some questions were too intrusive. I wish they could heal with time n realize we are only human - all of us. Mom, Dad, Kid... that's just a title given to souls who all have histories, problems n need to forgive.

@judithrandall4690

3 жыл бұрын

How could the questions be "too intrusive" when he agreed to do the interview, no doubt knowing that would be a major part of it.

@lilyd1010

2 жыл бұрын

@@judithrandall4690 Questions r generally approved by the interviewee ahead of time, so yes, he was aware. However, when you see someone beaten up why give him that extra kick in the gut? He may have known the questions, but he didn't realize his reactions would be so intense,

@SupernaturalLove100

11 ай бұрын

@@judithrandall4690 “What did she say?” Unnecessarily intrusive and I don’t think he was expecting that. I’m sure he just knew that they’d talk about the topic but not the questions specifically

Man it amazing how many people are suddenly licensed therapist when they watch a KZread video. You guys give amazing diagnosis and great analysis of a person who you don’t even know after watching only 5 1/2minutes of him talking vaguely about his story!

@LadyEowyn

3 жыл бұрын

👏🏼👏🏼They're called internet degrees, and they're rampant. One week a therapist. Next week nutritionist. Then Child development. And so on.

@adi7031

3 жыл бұрын

Ty Pate you had me in stitches with your comment. Spot on!!

@adi7031

3 жыл бұрын

@@LadyEowyn 😂😂😂😂😂 you are too much.

@marcom6089

2 жыл бұрын

So spot on, yet here we are doing the same thing we are accusing others of doing… 🤫

@catdaddydonbrewer007

Жыл бұрын

@@marcom6089 how do you figure that? People making assumptions about him without any evidence to back it up based solely on what they think, is nothing like reading those assumptions they’ve left in the comments (what we call facts, evidence, or proof), then without having access to his thought or feelings (something that is a non debatable fact) they presume to know what he’s feeling or thinking. Maybe next time champ 🤫🤡

That smile at the end really touched me. When he was talking about his mom, he has no emotion. He probably gave up. I can relate to what he is saying and it really hurts. I am still waiting for the woman that I want to build a family with to show up in my life.

@malpete

3 жыл бұрын

Best of luck mate hope she’ll come soon 😁

His wife is The Woman in his life now.Sounds like his mom crossed a sacred boundary she shouldn't have crossed.He has to protect his lil family from toxic people!!!👍🦋

@myrtle1234

3 жыл бұрын

That happens. I endured abuse from my family all the way into my forties. When my children were old enough to be harmed, the door slammed shut and stayed shut.

@moreofawave

2 жыл бұрын

I respect people that have little patience for crossing boundaries. I have been working all my life to set boundaries and I still get a hurt stomach when I stand my ground and protect myself.

Sometimes life is harder than the Olympics.

@tonyapendleton7467

3 жыл бұрын

For real

@TheRedart99

3 жыл бұрын

Well said.

@RaymondHng

2 жыл бұрын

Correction: Life is always harder than the Olympics. Olympics come and go, but life continues.

Such a little boy quality in this virile and awesome athlete. Great interview!

The best thing that can come from the empty relationship with your mom is a better relationship with your beautiful children. She is the one missing out and shame on her for that with the years and life under her belt. We aren’t always dealt with parents whom love us unconditionally and want nothing more than to be part of our lives in positive ways. You and your wife Ryan, can break that shitty cycle and be mindful of how you raise and handle your children. What you will get from that is a beautiful loving Relationship that is real, and accountability is abundant. It’s always perplexed me on why it is so hard for some people to apologize when they hurt those they claim to love. Whether or not they feel you are hurt by them or not doesn’t matter, if anyone tells you they are hurt that’s all that should matter. Thank you for opening up and sharing a bit of yourself. Prayers for your beautiful family and that you always stay together in love. ❤️

Chairs look uncomfortable

@frenchvanilla7109

3 жыл бұрын

Sure does

@PacificPier

3 жыл бұрын

Graham needs to get a Z Gallerie contract and get the leather on the road.

@LL-lj1kq

3 жыл бұрын

NYCzora interesting observation.

Wish this guy the best. Good for him. Prayers to him. American hero

I don't know the full context of this interview but I am not a big fan of the interviewer. Ryan was clearly in pain and the other guy seemed to be more interested in the amount of views this would get than the raw, emotional questions that he asked Ryan. The interviewer did not seem genuine. But I fully respect Ryan for being so vulnerable. He is very strong

@LucasPenido

3 жыл бұрын

Agree, but he was there to be interviewed in depth. He politely declined not to speak, then I believe it was therapeutic he did touch on the subject, and moved on. All is well.

@arthurmiller9434

3 жыл бұрын

Agree Maya. The story is more important than the person. What a shame.

@joelarama

2 жыл бұрын

@@arthurmiller9434 “The story is more important than the person”. In that one sentenced you encapsulated my exact feelings towards this interview. Bravo.

THANK YOU FOR BEING HONEST RYAN!!!

my narcissistic mother won't apologise for any of her wrongdoins ever. that's why i stopped talking to her 6 years ago.

Go years without speaking to my children!!! That would brake my heart!

I’m a divorced mom and took a lot of abuse from a narc. The kids still love him, as he buys them with cars and homes.

Thanks for this video. I’ve been contemplating on cutting my mother off all time and this gave me the courage to do it, starting today. I literally relate to everything he said.

What a deeply profound and thought provoking person and interview

This made me tear up. My mom is a narcissist too and was not too thrilled when I announced that I was having a baby (after trying with my hubby to get pregnant for a year). Now we have 2 kiddos that she won’t get to see grow up.

@doctordootch

3 жыл бұрын

My three girls are 20, 17 & 15 and they have figured out that grandma is crazy.

@chicaarana1164

3 жыл бұрын

Tommy Jakob Yikes! How do they deal with her if you don’t mind me asking. After my first one was born, we thought things would have gotten better in terms of relationships, (because he is the first grandchild for my parents;) but it never did and I never understood it until now. I’m sad that the kids won’t get to know their grandparents, but it’s for the best.

@doctordootch

3 жыл бұрын

@@chicaarana1164 I live 300+ miles away in another city, so it is just phone calls. Whenever there is any communication, they are polite - not fake, just polite. My oldest is away at University and my middle one is very easy-going. My youngest is the comedian of the family and has sass, so phone calls are quite funny. Yes, it is a shame your kids won't have a proper grandparent - grandchild relationship but sometimes what you will see is neighbours and friends will be the uncles, aunts, grandparents, etc. they never had. You have done NOTHING wrong. You have done THE most RESPECTFUL thing. There ARE angels among us.

@antoniafoster8264

3 жыл бұрын

Same here.

@airam-sj2172

2 жыл бұрын

Wow, she is toxic which means you don't need her around you and your kids.

I feel uncomfortable with graham digging into this guys personal life for views when he says he’s uncomfortable talking about it

@cascam1

3 жыл бұрын

Graham has always been a bottom feeder pretending to be an Italian boy from the Bronx.

@cukuwaekele

3 жыл бұрын

I’m glad I’m not the only one.

@Mr.paint123

3 жыл бұрын

Nobody put a gun to this guys head and made home do this interview He is a grown man and chose to do this interview

@rainabeveridge2495

3 жыл бұрын

I don't think he's inappropriate or pushy. I enjoy his interview style

@shellyg8617

3 жыл бұрын

Maybe, but this really helps other people who may have similar experiences, like myself. It's helps to hear I'm not the only one who doesn't have this perfect family and the most loving parents.

pretty brave to say all that on camera, good for him, i hope he is happy thats all that matters, but yeah felt like watching a therapy session for sure!

Good luck Ryan Lochte. Nice interview.

I felt this so much. My mother also posioned me and my siblings against my dad and also said some really nasty things about my husband, even trying to break us up. It got worse when I was pregnant with our first child and I just had enough.

@usermc1234

Жыл бұрын

Sorry that you had to go through that. Hope that things are better for you now. People who always try risky ways (like harming others) to try and achieve what they think they want, are typically always feeling weak from struggling in the mess they can't extricate themselves from. So they exert control on other people they think they can still have a hold over. If we ever are targets of this kinds of abuse, always remember that our job is not to continue to struggle and submerge, but to break the web of trouble that is spun around all connecting these issues and emerge to start your life anew. Wishing you good luck with life, you've got this.

@SupernaturalLove100

11 ай бұрын

Good for you for cutting off the toxicity. She sounded miserable.

Family disfunction and wounds that are going to stay unhealed...a tremendous athlete with problems many can identify with. He seems like a sensitive regular guy and not like repackaged commercially...very honest.

My father went through a very serious depression and tried to kill himself. He swallowed thirty pills. I was 21. When I asked my mother what could have happened and caused him to want to do away with himself, she responded by telling me, "Well..YOU didn't actually HELP the situation". I carried that albatross for YEARS thinking it was all my fault. I remember the night before he tried to kill himself, I had gone to a baseball game and accidentally left the lights on in the car. Battery died. Had to wait for AAA. Was late coming home. I always imagined what would have happened if he actually succeeded. His death would have been my fault. It was only years later that I realized that it was a chemical imbalance and NOT me. It's horrible that there are such awful people, who are supposed to be family support, out there.

@LadyEowyn

3 жыл бұрын

I'm so sorry. That's an awful thing for anyone to say.

@jasonmcmechan2072

3 жыл бұрын

God bless you

@ariloves10

3 жыл бұрын

We have to focus on a new family and leave the past behind. I am so sorry 😞

@Charlietrucks

3 жыл бұрын

No way someone’s actions are your fault. I’m happy you realize that now. ❤️

@surfb4work1

3 жыл бұрын

Your mom is a monster for saying that to you. It was never your fault.

It’s so hurtful to carry around sadness and anger. It just drags us down. Kids need love and to feel they are loved. We never really get over it. Some parents are fine just not talking to their kids. I dont get it. I could never not see my kids or give them love. All we can do is be the best parents to our kids

@brianwalsh1401

3 жыл бұрын

All parents are doing the best they can. Unfortunately a lot of times it's not good enough. Family dysfunction is generational.

@ariloves10

3 жыл бұрын

@@brianwalsh1401 its about love and they are lacking..

@brianwalsh1401

3 жыл бұрын

@@ariloves10 Yes. Maslow's 3rd level of the hierarchy of needs is love, affection and belonging. Before we can love others we need to love ourselves. You can't give away what you don't have.

@ariloves10

3 жыл бұрын

@@brianwalsh1401 I can halfway agree because I have seen spiteful hearts who had love, but rejected it. They chose hate. As for belonging, its a mixed bag of nuts in USA with almost everyone from another part of the world feels less than. If you are a have not, you hate the haves. If you are brown you hate white. If you are poor you hate rich. If you are sad you hate happy. People need Jesus, or they get seduced by the devil, and then hate, sickness and death overtake them. Nothing to see here but people throwing their families away to fulfill their own selfish desires.

@automnejoy5308

3 жыл бұрын

It's easy to say that when you have decent kids. Some people aren't that fortunate; despite being great parents, their kids grow up to be horrible, toxic people.

I’m sorry his mother is missing out on her grandchildren, and I’m sorry they are missing out on their grandmother. It’s a special bond and these years fly by too fast. It’s time to put hurt feelings aside and reconcile while they still can.

@SupernaturalLove100

11 ай бұрын

His mother could do that if she chose to. He pretty much openly declared that all he’d want is an apology on behalf of the nasty things she said abt his family once he announced a child on the way.

I sort of hate to say this, but I can't watch this, Ryan comes across as so dimwitted, can someone explain to me what apology he needs from his mother?

His mother sounds like a narcissist, so he made the right choice in going no contact. I wish him and his family well. He seems like a really nice guy.

I shut my mom out of my life as a young adult. As I grew older while raising my children I realized that Parents are also human beings who are put to incrediblely higher standards of behavior and have little room for failure, having a bad day or just plain falling down..I have since reconciled with my mom, we hashed out all that past stuff and are now very best friends...

@lorraineb396

2 жыл бұрын

Wise of you

@sallyjones2501

Жыл бұрын

Wish I could do that. But mine decides to threaten suicide when I put up boundaries. Then tries to protect her husband who is inappropriate around my kids. Reconciliation will never happen for me. And my step mom just died. I have no mother.

@SupernaturalLove100

11 ай бұрын

That was your situation and that’s wonderful that you had a different perspective once u put yourself into her shoes and were able to reconcile. I think many of the folks here though unfortunately have had situations in which they’ve been treated like a doormat by their parent and couldn’t take it.

@tpowell3776

11 ай бұрын

@@SupernaturalLove100 IMO I believe that our newest generation are emotional wrecks, they are offended by everything, and tend to be narcissistic, they will have a hard life b/c many have decided to not forgive but instead hold grudges, and instead of god in their lives, they value self-image over anything

i can relate to him. i also dont really speak to my mom because ive found that not speaking to her make my life healthier, easier and happier. Shes just doesnt have a capability as a mother and i dont think i have ever received some kind of warm maternal love from a mother tho. Shes always in the house (shes a housewife) but i never felt her presence. I also dont really talk about it much with my husband, i just live my life on my own and im happy. My relationship to her is just im thankful she gave birth to me, gave her money and shes grandmother of my child but thats it. Hopefully i dont repeat this pattern to my children.

@ariloves10

3 жыл бұрын

God bless you 🙏 we can break the cycle by being aware of our family disfunction and consciously breaking the pattern 🙏

Families are fun aren’t they sometimes? Family can be some of the most toxic people in your life. It isn’t your family that defines you-it’s the choices you make beyond them that define you. Ryan did what was best for him and his family. One day his Mother will regret what she’s missing out on-even if she doesn’t admit it. It’s sad how family can treat one another. I’m glad he’s got someone that stands behind him and partners with him for a better life beyond toxic family members. We should all hope to have more people like his wife in our lives.

There is a man who has been treated like garbage by a narcissist. Never ask a person like that to repair a relationship. You should know better.

Emotional heaviness

Ryan is not a bad person. He just made stupid mistakes. His kids are going to make him proud 🙂

oh wait this is the guy who lied about getting robbed in rio?

@platinumpineapple9943

3 жыл бұрын

he did get robbed because he got drunk and knocked down a sign and had to pay for it, then the media blew it out of proportion

@williamcowell1889

3 жыл бұрын

Platinum Pineapple He made an international incident out of the situation by saying he got held at gunpoint. Locte has always been known as an entitled prick amongst the swimming community.

@platinumpineapple9943

3 жыл бұрын

William Cowell yea cool he still cool tho and a insanely talented swimmer

@williamcowell1889

3 жыл бұрын

Platinum Pineapple WAS a talented swimmer. He done.

@dosman3458

3 жыл бұрын

@@platinumpineapple9943 lol nope. he's done!

“Everything I was getting feeded”

@rbishop95

3 жыл бұрын

Yeah Lochte looks good, but boy he’s really stupid

@yussepig6629

3 жыл бұрын

Stupidity has nothing to do with using poor English. You’ve demonstrated that in your post.

We are not obligated to hold a relationship with anybody who is toxic to us, including family. That folks feel the need to force it on us because “hey, it’s your mom....” - doesn’t matter, there’s no entitlement. As I told mine and other toxic folks, I can love you without exposing myself to your negativity. I am at peace with that decision. And I am a mother, when folks tell me I don’t understand I’m puzzled. My mother should want me to be happy. (Edit was to correct a typo.)

@redseaford9426

3 жыл бұрын

For me it was my aunt. We were close because we'd both been through a similar life changing experience but she can't keep the drama out of her life and would constanly get high or drunk and send the most horrible messages. Had to cut her out of my life. I still care about her but can't have anything to do with her.

@vonnieb3257

3 жыл бұрын

You're selfish..but your mom is probably relieved that she doesn't have to deal with you too.. LOL

@gd3944

3 жыл бұрын

@Vonnie - We’re not put on this earth to judge and you know nothing about my situation to qualify such a statement. I will hold you in prayer that kindness towards others finds your heart more quickly than judgement.

@gd3944

3 жыл бұрын

@Red It’s a difficult process, for sure. I wish you well.

@vonnieb3257

3 жыл бұрын

@@gd3944 ..I have kindness in my heart, I'm not like you.. I talk and even take care of the people who were not the best to me!.. that's where we differ, I try to comprehend why people are like they are.. even in the end when I may not understand I don't shut them out l, I figure I haven't walked in their shoes and they have done the best with what they know!.. I could never imagine never speaking my parent again..but heyyyy you be happy ok 🤔🙄..LOL..

So sad….I hope he can heal from this pain. She obviously has and doesn’t care. Let evil people go. Best thing you can do. Move onward and upward.

I feel sorry for him. My mum is a narc too. It makes you go through hell

Same brother. My mom has no empathy. She almost killed me as a teen(won't detail on that) betrayed me. She has no regrets

This proves that you never know what is going on with someone. I'm glad that he is happy now.

Definitely one of the best chanels on YT

@pla6ue

3 жыл бұрын

Agreed!!!

@actsd2682

3 жыл бұрын

Yes absolutely!!!! Graham is quite good at this.

@thekellenator

3 жыл бұрын

Graham is incredible. Huge huge fan.

@fundifferent1

3 жыл бұрын

Not really, but ok.

@jeremiahjackson292

3 жыл бұрын

False

Aw he's so lovely

It took 40 years but I don't speak with me mom either. Children want to forgive and love thier parents, so it's not an easy choice.

Bitterness is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.

@robyndismon394

3 жыл бұрын

That's simply your interpretation and it is by no means accurate. Its a part of life. You work through it given you can find the right people, tools and healing mechanisms. A life full of pain will come with bad feelings. Its Just that simple.

@BillyN31

3 жыл бұрын

@@robyndismon394 bad feelings cause a life of pain? I think not. Try bad decisions. Good day to you.

@robyndismon394

3 жыл бұрын

@@BillyN31 you missed the point completely.

I cut my two older brothers off 6 years ago after one beat me to a pulp, oldest just died I did not go to the services nor will go for the other and my life has been so much happier

I LOVE AND ADMIRE RYAN SO MUCH! A TRUE AMERICAN OLYMPIAN SWIMMER🏅 🏅 🏅AND GREAT ATHLETE! SO HAPPY FOR HIM THAT HE HAS A BEAUTIFUL WIFE AND TWO GORGEOUS KID'S. WISHING THEM THE BEST OF EVERYTHING ALWAY'S AND FOREVER! 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏🏅

@AdmirCustovic

3 жыл бұрын

Why are you yelling?

When women turn their own kids against their father, it creates a hole in their heart that will never go away.

Every family has a level of dysfunction, some substantially more than others.

Gosh.... This is hard to listen to. I was raised by a widowed father and memories of my mother are shady and dim. But a significant memory is of love and togetherness. Pa spoke well of our late mother for the rest of his life. I was on no doubt that I was born of an enduring love and a close bond. Through all the tears and anger of a motherless youth, that knowledge brought a smile and smoothed the path. Friends whose parents divorced (and now nephews and nieces in the same boat) do not/did not have that security of knowing they were born of an enduring love and seeing the example presented daily on their formative years. That is a sad, sad thing. Good interview. Sad, but good.

damn Graham, you don't have to know every gritty detail

@TP-xy2ms

3 жыл бұрын

Right, graham needs to chill the hell out.

@joannaluca8495

2 жыл бұрын

It’s an interview that’s his job 🤔

So hard....so understandable. Wish you and ur fam all the best Ryan.

Is it just me or does this dude look AND sound like Sean Penn?

@michelebergman4336

3 жыл бұрын

More like Sylvester Stallone

@raeormsbyiii2525

3 жыл бұрын

@@michelebergman4336 Yeah, I get a lot of Stallone from him too.

I like Graham's interview style. And has a friendly face

His language and mannerisms are very young...as if he’s a teen.

@josephinedonnelley4762

3 жыл бұрын

Exactly what I thought.

@folarinosibodu

3 жыл бұрын

true

@ella7225

3 жыл бұрын

Right!

@ELLIOTTARMY

3 жыл бұрын

He feels vulnerable and thats ok..

@LadyEowyn

3 жыл бұрын

@@ELLIOTTARMY I don't think the implication is bad. It's just not what you'd expect from someone his age. However, as we all know, tramua is difficult subject for most people. You can tell he's trying to be respectful to his parents. That adds to some of the awkwardness. Not bad. Just slightly awkward convo.

Been there. I find that people have to apologize first in order to be forgiven. Took a friend to call me out on constantly trying to save a narcissistic mother. Every story is different but the tragedy is permanent. Sad but true.

Best swimmer. Period.

My mom was a junkie. And she wasn't probally the best mom. But she really was a good human. But I miss her all the time. Wasn't her fault really. It hits harder when they're gone.

@sjf1981

3 жыл бұрын

You are here and the sun still shines. You survived. Stay up

@Rae-lh7ex

3 жыл бұрын

Eye 2 Eye same situation with my Mom, she’s been gone 7 years now

@tigergreg8

3 жыл бұрын

You sound like a good person, and someone who actually learned from a bad situation. Your thoughts about your Mom are probably VERY comforting to her as she watches over you now.

As a mother, I would tear off my right and left arm before I would hurt my children!!! As a mother she needs to set things right!!

I love my mom. She passed away. I will always miss her. It is my dad that I hate.

I think he has a giant amount of emotional issues. I dont know if he is medicated or not but he seems so. Hopefully he comes out of his troubled past and finds peace within himself... he sure doesnt have it in this interview.

@iKeto_gal

3 жыл бұрын

Men have a hard time talking about their feelings let alone it being on national video. When he said "I haven't really talked about it" means, this is the first time expressing his pain, which is a big deal. Divorce really damages a person more than a person who never experienced can imagine. He's not medicated, he's super uncomfortable talking about his feelings and his body language is showing that because he's not an actor who knows how to hide their body language and fake the funk.

@b_f_d_d

3 жыл бұрын

@@iKeto_gal good point

@Mad_Thirsty

3 жыл бұрын

@@iKeto_gal nailed it, good job

@sscswimmer1

3 жыл бұрын

First of all, he's never been good at talking in interviews. Ever. Add in that he's talking about something really deep and personal to him, I don't blame him for taking his time being careful with what he's saying

@surfb4work1

3 жыл бұрын

You're medicated Roger..

Whatever happened is not worth it. I can understand him so much coming from a divorce family myself, but we, children, can't judge our parents. Forgiveness is something that we need to give, especially to our parents in order to heal our hearts. I really hope, he is able to talk to his mom before it's too late.

I wish my husband was as strong as him. My MIL never apologizes, is abusive mental, physically. She’s violent. I refuse to be around her anymore. She triangulates my kids and husband and I have no relationship with any of my in laws because she forbids it and people get “punished” if they associate with me. She apologized to me once and told me it’s just how she is and revealed she cut out the pictures of ANY female in her husbands high school yearbooks when she was in her late 20s bec she was jealous. I took it as a threat that she’d just cut me out of my husbands life. This apology came post 2 kids and years with her son and her getting physically violent with me when I was 37 weeks with our third. Her apologies come with threats to let you know how ruthless she truly is. EVERYONE says, “that’s just how she is.” And I just need to accept it. Sick.

His mother sounds like my mother.

Lochte is his mom twin! May God bless him and his family. Hopefully one day they can heal and be together again. Sending prayers your way!

There's SO much unspoken here. What was the "truth" that made him want to punch his dad in the face? What made everyone take sides? What did his mother say that ended their relationship? it's clear that Ryan doesn't want to reveal any of that, and the squirming makes for some really uncomfortable television.

@terranceturner8181

3 жыл бұрын

@David Pumpkin Probably not. But now that it's being discussed on KZread...

@PeepersT

3 жыл бұрын

Exactly. Yet people are on here calling his mother a narcissist! Lot of drama loving people in the comments projecting their own issues.

Mothers can be sick, have personality disorders, and ruin their child’s lives just like anyone else can. It’s very sad but it occurs. I have had a similar situation with my mother. She’s very sick and has absolutely no insight. It’s the worst when the person with the personality disorder is also uneducated and lazy/unmotivated. It’s almost like a trifecta. They also don’t seek help because they’ve never realized their so ill.

@utcougar

3 жыл бұрын

R S123 I’m a bit older now but while in my 30’s (now late 30’s) I often stayed with parents and still do stay there from time to time. Things will continue and worsen if staying the same household with someone toxic and insecure. Best bet is to do what I did, move out to the best of your abilities and then visit back home or stay home occasionally and when she has her flares you just leave. Unless she can seek help which I assume she refuses to.

I as a mother of a son that age..can’t imagine ever saying anything hateful or awful to him. To hurt him or his family is unfathomable. To be estranged from a child would absolutely kill me.

@3Torts

Жыл бұрын

I'm sure it kills our mothers as well, but they still say what they say.

I can totally relate to him - my wife and I went through the same thing even when we were dating. I cut both of my parents out of my life 4 1/2 years ago and don't think that relationship will ever be repaired and like Ryan, I DON'T CARE ANYMORE. My mother-in-law has been more of a mother figure to me since the day I cut them out hence why I call her Mumsy...my biological mother is a stubborn narcissist who hated that she couldn't control and manipulate myself or my wife and then said and did a lot of very hurtful things that I to this date will never forget let alone forgive. The other significant thing about this: she won't apologize for anything that she said and made it very clear to everyone in my family that I was the problem the whole time and she made excuses for me my whole life. But the best part of all this: we've both moved on and couldn't be happier with the lives we live now

There's more to this story than meets the eye. I want to hear his mother side of the story.

@PeepersT

3 жыл бұрын

We know this dude lies and doesn’t make good choices so I also would like to hear the mother’s side too.

@Grimmes12

2 жыл бұрын

Is funny how society doesnt the same thing when women go out crying victim, hence #BelieveAllWomen smh

@MrWolfson420

2 жыл бұрын

His wife modeled for playboy

Sounds like once he got rid of the toxic person which unfortunately was his mother he is happier!

He was trying to get him to cry....makes for a good interview.

@LL-lj1kq

3 жыл бұрын

WD Harris you’re right, I don’t think that’s fair to try and break some one on camera.

Ryan needs to pull his kids aside and tell them "never Google mommy's name."