Through this I just want you to know that God did change me and He can change you too. Through any struggle or problem just give it to God and He will take care of it. A great verse is Philippians 4:6 which says "worry about nothing but pray about everything...". None of us can be "good enough" people to make it to Heaven, we need Jesus Christ. Maybe you know God but you just are not following Him or you stopped following Him because you messed up, God can and will forgive you, all you need to do is ask. It may seem hard to give up your ways but all you need is faith, even when you cant see where it will lead you. We walk by faith not by sight. Jesus said to gain your life(salvation) you need to loose it(turn from your bad ways).
I pray that God blesses you through this.