Thanks for sharing your thoughts and experience!

Don't talk to women online before you land in the Philippines, don't talk to the girls that message you first, and never give anyone an 'allowance'. There, you've avoided 90% of the grief.

@dschoenfeld9277

Жыл бұрын

If not more than 90%.

@SLOBeachboy

Жыл бұрын

Steve - I'm afraid I'm going to have to strongly disagree with you on that first one as you are basically just throwing out the baby with the bath water. I have been coming to Thailand and the Philippines for over 30 years now and I currently live in Thailand. Anyway, I figured out very early on that if I was only visiting a place for a few weeks at a time I needed to meet the women online first so that we could get to a point where things could move very quickly once I actually got there. I have dated a lot of women in this way over the years in many Asian countries and yet I have never had any problems with any of them whatsoever. Of course, this is primarily due to the fact I am very good at weeding out the undesirables long before I ever consider meeting them in person. Anyway, I can think of a few useful tips when using dating sites. First of all, if a girls ask for money before you even meet in person - especially if it very early on - then just move on immediately. Secondly if a girl starts calling you “honey” or “sweetie”, etc, right off the bat then there is more than a 95% chance that she is either a scammer after your money or is a Ladyboy. Also since I first started using dating sites over 20 years ago I have always had a rule about only giving people a week to have a video chat with me and if they make some excuses why they cannot do this I just move on - no exceptions. These can eliminate the obvious ones but you still need to be very, very good at reading people to weed out all potential scammers or crazies. As for not contacting girls who contact you first on dating sites (apps) the reason I never do this is because I am never attracted to any of them. And if one of them were to be extremely attractive and contacted me first she would likely be a scammer of course but I can easily sort this out very quickly. Its true that there are tons of scams on internet dating sites, particularly in the Philippines, and so if you don’t know how to easily spot them then I suppose just swearing off dating sites altogether might be advisable. I’m just glad that I have never falling into this category. Of course, if you were talking about total strangers adding you to their WhatsApp or Line and then asking how they know you, these are always scammers. They are usually financial scams and the scammers are based in China, although they will usually claim to be women of Asian decent who are now living in the USA or some other western country. As for not giving a girlfriend from Southeast Asia an allowance there is nothing wrong with doing so as long as you are good enough at reading people to know for sure that she is not with you for the money. I have never given any money to any of my former girlfriends in Southeast Asia despite knowing that they were not with me for the money but I sometimes feel guilty about this since some of them were from very poor backgrounds.

@prepperjonpnw6482

Жыл бұрын

@@SLOBeachboy you make a lot of good points and I have to agree with you especially the one about meeting them online before you get there to kind of kick start the relationship. It really sucks when you meet a great woman 1/2 way through your 2 week stay.

@jonaho.119

Жыл бұрын

@@SLOBeachboy 👍

@mojavedesertsonorandesert9531

Жыл бұрын

✅✅✅

Your story about setting boundaries... I learned that lesson when I was about 40. Whether it's a GF, a date, a mate, or a boss, I DEMAND the same respect I show others. Life has been so smooth since then!

@garylagera7584

Жыл бұрын

The good ol' international Golden Rule must apply.

Anyone looking for love. LISTEN to this. Paul knows his stuff. They see you coming. Establish hard boundaries. You will still find someone. Just don’t leap at the first pair of batted eyelashes

I am married to a Filipina in Canada for 7 years and have visited the Philippines for 3 extended visits. Please gentleman be careful people will try and take advantage of you, no doubt and it gets old guick.

@man4YAWEH454

Жыл бұрын

Sir, What made you and your Filipina reside in Canada versus the Phils?

@hillbillyintheasia6122

Жыл бұрын

@@man4YAWEH454 call a great job for her and him.

@tomm.6265

Жыл бұрын

I just finished 5 weeks in Philippines no truer words were spoken I couldn't believe the # of filipinos will try and scam u I went back to Thailand so much better here

@danielroydrawe

Жыл бұрын

I married a Filipina in the Philippines and brought her to Alberta. Surprised and broken hearted when less than two years after learning how to adjust in Alberta, she didn't want to be married to me any longer and started screwing different Canadian guys. It's been 11 years since our divorce. She moved on so easily. No conscience it seems. I know I could never do that to somebody who did as much as I did for her and her family. When a Filipina doesn't need you anymore you are just garbage to be thrown away.

@anthonyhutchings8239

Жыл бұрын

@@danielroydrawe Been there ...done that.... in Alaska in 2000-02...... gained more than i lost though which isn't saying much... She was never "All that" anyway 🙄

Holy crap Paul, it's always good to learn from others' experiences. Don't be a hero and set boundaries. Got it, excellent!

@senseofstile

Жыл бұрын

Yes, boundaries are good. I don't tolerate tampo. Tampo is just a woman believing a lie about you. Some filipinas stop the tampo and everything is good. Some won't and leave. by by.

Yes, the "Filipino time" can be a nuisance. When I was still married to my Filipina wife, I solved that more or less the same way as you. We were going on a trip and we would take 3 of her Filipina friends with us. I knew about Filipina time and said to them: "I will pick you up in front of the church. I will be there at 1pm. I will wait a polite 15 minutes, but if you are not there at 1:15, I'm off!" They looked at me in disbelieve, but my wife said to them: "He means it!" They were all there at one o'clock. Setting bounderies is indeed very important with Filipinas!

@Gregory-Masovutch

Жыл бұрын

Is that the same as Jewish Standard Time? Just kidding

@ricklanders

Жыл бұрын

So you're destroying their culture by making it more like what you expect from your cultural "norms." What do you think will happen when everyone there starts acting that way? It won't be "there" anymore, but what you left behind "here."

@homebasebelgium359

Жыл бұрын

@@ricklanders It was "here"! This happened in Belgium!

@ricklanders

Жыл бұрын

@@homebasebelgium359 Ok, in that case you're good ;-)

@ricklanders

Жыл бұрын

@@dinod-americaninthephilipp9238 Thanks for the comment. I understand the Filipino values very well, and that was actually the point of my comment. I hate to see traditional cultures overrun and destroyed by contamination from western social practices and "norms," as - in case you haven't had a chance to witness it - these western societies are almost complete disasters in most social respects, with the breakdown of the family causing major problems, massive stress killing people from heart attacks and all kinds of other lifestyle-related conditions, junk food diets wrecking people's health, and rampant materialism creating a frenetic "hurry up" and very "me-centered" mentality. Not to make this a sociological rant, but just saying that some of us are looking for places in the world with more natural and emotionally healthy cultural values to escape what we perceive to be the unhealthy mindset of a lot of western countries. So I think if anything we need to encourage more Filipino time, not less! ;-)

I am 70 yrs. old now and I have never had a problem of finding a good decent lady in Thailand, Laos, or the Philippines in the 20 years I have been here. The real key for me is finding someone 45-50 years of age, not a 19- 30 year old. There are many, many of them out there. 45-50-year-old ladies are still much younger than I am, and they are still looking good!

@sonnygram9457

Жыл бұрын

You understand the system. I have observed that guy from Brent's World. He's so compatible with his wife. 40-50 range

stay in your frame, walk the talk, fail fast when its not working so that you can be available and open for the right relationship to find its way to you. Easy to say but not always easy to do! Never stop working on your own personal development.

@garylagera7584

Жыл бұрын

Great and realistic. Don't be the frog in a pot of water and be aware of the people who stand atop a mountain, with their mouth wide open waiting for a roast duck to fly in! Best of luck people.

@donaldmickunas8552

Жыл бұрын

@@dinod-americaninthephilipp9238 No is my favorite word. Say no early for more peace and less drama. It also drives away the parasites.

I started my education in Thailand with a two year Long distance relationship (bank), I met my now wife of thirteen years online we chatted every day for twelve months before we met. I have been through the family emergencies, power bills etc... from the family. I have had the nine extras when we went to Manila shopping. I have bought her brother and sister to Australia. But she is the best thing that ever happened to me and stuck by me for five weeks in intensive care refusing to let them pull the plug, needed and received a lung transplant and she now works as a nurse and is the bread winner of the family. Everything you say is solid advice.

@henrymcmiller2527

Жыл бұрын

You are blessed. I am still navigating Asia and I hope to meet that true Thai lady or Filipina. I hope you are doing fine with your second chance.

@quantumleap7441

Жыл бұрын

Yes, I believe they are the Tribe of Levi. For God all the way, in the human sense. Their core is GOD AND GOOD.

I recently went down that path paved with good intentions. The return ticket to sanity was very expensive. Like you say the only one to blame was me. I knew better. I had lived in the Philippines for several years in my distant past so I definitely new better. An interesting story I might share some day.

@dschoenfeld9277

Жыл бұрын

That’s good that you learned. Yes you made choices but so did she aka it takes 2 to tango.

🤚 I admit, I met my Filipina through Filipino Cupid. That was 4 years ago. The first 2 years we chatted on Skype. I went to the Philippines to meet her and we got along great! I was still working and planned to get together with her again in 2 years. Had my plane ticket, hotel room reserved and COVID hit. We still kept in touch (thru Skype) until last year. Finally retired from my toxic job. Bought a one way ticket to the P.I., we picked up where we left off and never looked back. We’re now living together. Things are going great! No complaints. I feel like got lucky for once in my life. I’d say for very guy out there we all handle relationships differently. For some it clicks. Others its takes a little work. And there are those that are total train wrecks. My point is, if your a single guy (re)entering the dating scene you’re going to have to take some risks. It’s the only way you’re going to find out if you made the right choice or not. Hey, best of luck to all the single gentleman out there. And remember the old saying; for every pot there’s a lid. Never give up guys.

@danielhackney7806

Жыл бұрын

@Vinnie Phillips, how many years living together? Do you feel any pressure to get married, build a house and have kids? Do you support her family financially, is there age gap? I see a lot of guys in their 50's and 60's hooking up with impoverished girls in there teens and 20's with a kid or two. As you mentioned there are risks and men shouldn't ignore it. I've heard to many stories where the relationship is going great UNTIL the Filipina starts expecting MORE. Such as marriage, a house and support for emergencies and her family etc... stay frosty and set real limits!

I have been told a wise person learns from someone else's experience the average joe learns from their own experience and a fool repeats his mistakes. Thanks Paul for letting me learn from your experiences

My solution to being late with my “ex wife” was if it was something that impacted her I never bothered to get ready until she came out ready to leave. Since it impacted her only, I figured why worry about it? If it impacted me, or our daughter, I let her know what time (tiempo Americano) I would leave and I did. If she was not ready she missed out. It didn’t fix the problem every time but it kept me from getting upset. But we were in the US where time is valued. When we visited her country I brought a book, and read till they were literally at the door ready to go then I would get up and off we went. I completely agree that if a man does not set boundaries and enforce them, he will never be respected.

The problems that exist in the Philippines also exist in the United States. It's just a lot cheaper in the Philippines to deal with them.

@LR-je7nn

Жыл бұрын

There are plans to do away with All pensions and ownership of property. The Globalists must be stopped.

@stevemorris3544

Жыл бұрын

Funny but true 😄

@kingmaafa120

Жыл бұрын

Facts

Great message. Because listening is one of my best attributes, I set firm boundaries for myself and other when I was there and had a wonderful time. Vagueness and letting emotions run the show are huge mistakes. Thank you Paul

Well put kid. I liked it. 👍 That's a GOLD STAR for you. Thanx for the tip !

It's funny Paul, I think we both are wired the same way. It's about respect, however they need to know what your expectations are. I did the internal struggle, and drove back home too. I was young then. I think part was my military training and that stayed with me. Remember the oxymoron in the military.. "Hurry Up And Wait" always happened marching everywhere 🤔 Now, the million dollar question I got to ask you four years later, If you say to BabyMae, "Let's Leave By Six" will BabyMae be ready by six? I bet a WiGo, she won't be ready. Haha Boundaries are very important. Especially for guys coming from the Western World to Asia. Suddenly you feel like it's 40 years ago. Easy to fall into denial. Here in Thailand, we know everybody to some degree and expense learned that, You Don't Need A Gun Pointed At You To Lose 30,40 50K. It's the shop, the car, the motorcycle, the gold jewelry or the house. Insert_____here. Guys want to be that Knight In Shinning Armour. Beware, Handsome Man. We are NOT the hunters we think we are. We are hunted, and the ladies set the traps, and know how to use them...

@markbrown1622

Жыл бұрын

That is a perfect analogy. We ARE the hunted and they know exactly how to trap us

@ThePlough1978

Жыл бұрын

Occasional pay for play is the way for me.. I got better shit to do than pander daily to women. *Crap Game*

You Sir are the REAL deal: as such, I have subscribed. Keeping it real is not what others do. Thank you.

Paul, in case no one has mentioned it up until now, your wisdom about all your topics really should be a road map for everyone that wants to come to the Philippines. There will be good and there will be bad, the key is to know when to see both and to react accordingly. Your previous topic of Expat John is and should be mandatory watching before people get to emotionally involved and get taken advantage of. Thanks again for another awesome video and your great missives...

Bless you, Paul. Thank you Once again for the great words of experienced wisdom about being and living in the Philippines. Once again, you've been a jewel for all that might want to go there. 🐓

Paul, you're gold! You've a real sense of charm, with your laid-back storytelling - with many a word of wisdom therein

Always nice to have a reminder that people need boundaries no matter where you go. Thanks!

Paul. This may well be, the best presentation, of yours, that I've viewed. I got a much more in depth of you as a person. You also touched on some of the very thoughts I've had about reaching out to foreign opportunities. Thank you for cutting to the chase, and calling an ace an ace, and a spade a spade. Like you, I'm a realist!!

Hey Paul, great timing I just got here. Thanks for sharing man!

Thanks Paul. Your experience is a welcomed man to man pep talk that can help some that are not even in the Phil. Keep up the good work.

Setting boundaries and sticking to them is important regardless where you live. I simply won’t let someone walk all over me. I too learned that the hard way.

good lesson well noted paul.

Great Video Paul , truth ,wisdom and common sense will always make a compeling video.This is your gifting .

Interesting thoughts and views Paul. Some of my ex girlfriends called me a jerk for setting boundaries about what I was and was not willing to put up with in regards to my hard earned money and my restricted time. Still to this day I am stern about those things. It's not being rude, it's just being real and finding out how much respect someone actually has for the smaller things in life as compared to the major things like the actual respect for your life. I think it's more of a phasing process, or a testing process for that matter. if they can't respect that it's your time and your money, they really aren't going to respect you for who you are as a person. it all ties together.

@Crazykid949

Жыл бұрын

@My Big Fat Filipino Life Actually no that is not what I was talking about. I was talking about my own experiences I have had with former girlfriends who did not respect my time, and didn't care that the money in my pocket was mine, and not hers. I had to make personal boundaries when it came to new potential girlfriends from the experiences in the past. Just like Paul talked about in his video!

Thank you for sharing your experiences/stories! Regardless if I end up in Philippines (or anywhere else) you’ve had a positive impact on myself (and I’m certain many others) which will be helpful!

Best video for a long time. Back on form. 👍

Awesome , thanks Paul

That was a good one Paul. I let the advertisements run till they've finished hope that helps financially for you.

You nailed it Paul.Thanks for sharing.

Great video agin Paul. I am sure gonna give your words a thought.

The entire relationship deal is luck. The scammers always have children. Read that carefully. I know when I post that, guys will ask; "Are you saying all women with children are scammers?" No, let's go over it again. All scammers have children. If you avoid the women with children and midgets (less than 5 foot tall), separated filipinas, or filipinas with children, you should be okay. Also you need to be convinced with her looks and she is physically affectionate. All the horror stories are involving filipinas with children. The out of the ordinary "positive stories" of women with children are in the miracle category. Keep in mind miracles are extremely rare. If you are hoping for a miracle, don't. What to do? Only pursue the single (not separated) filipinas without children. Is it a process? Nope. You need to get lucky. You get lucky or you don't. Chances are you won't. However you might.

I really look forward to listening to your commonsense stories. Being the same age, I can't help but relate to them. Keep on keeping on!

Hey Paul and Baby Mae! Great data brother! Thank you for sharing and God bless!

Paul your information is golden. Your delivery is even better. Said hello to you a few days ago. Appreciate your channel. Keep up the good work thank you very much.

Great advice, Paul. I think being clear and honest and actually saying what you want and expect is how to be. If the girl doesn’t appreciate it, move on. The right girl will love the clear direction.

Another great yarn

Good video Paul

The best advice you could ever give. I've experienced the same. Fiipinas learn fast when boundries are set. I can attest. Thanks for sharing.

Thanks for another insightful vlog. You always shoot straight.👍👍👍

Algorithm loves you. I blink and you get another few thousand subscribers. Just as good today as when covid started and the world discovered your humor. I thank you for the years of entertaining videos

im one of the crazy people that watches your vlog and i love it ...keep up the good work and soon you will be getting a silver plack from youtube 100k soon my friend , cheers

Great story with a powerful message on self-respect and boundaries. Cheers

Another great video I always enjoy when take time to watch 🥰

No greater words were spoken…set the boundaries.., thanks Paul

Good Lecture Paul. It Doesn't Matter What Country You Live in Or What Country You Chose to Move to. Boundaries Are Necessary. Time Management is Necessary. I Have Kind of Always Been Like that. I'm Not a Huge Talker( Will Let You Know What I Expect To Happen). But I Refuse to Be Made to Wait. I Won't Be Disrespected, Cheated on , Or Stood Up. Not that I Have Never Been Cheated. It's Simply, I Learn Quickly , And Won't Allow it to Happen a Second or 3rd Time.

Great video Paul!

Good video thanks Paul

Thank you Paul, for your experience in life and situations. I always get a lot of helpful suggestions from you and love to hear your stories. Thank again from a new subscriber

Great video with a lot of good information Paul

Thanks for the insight. Always learn the reality when watching your channel.

Enjoyed the interview and the positive track

Good one -- Mutual Respect is the most important element!...

You are right, I enjoy your perspective.

Nice thought sir paul.everything you said were true and very informative.

Great story and advice Paul....Mike and Arlyn

Great video Paul

Excellent video.

Thanks for sharing your story and your honesty.

I am the same way. I told all my friends you can depend on me. If am late I am in the hospital 🏥 or dead and I expect the same respect from you. Good luck, Mike in the USA 🇺🇸

It's always interesting to hear Paul's stories.

Good stories!

Great video & advice Paul. Applies to people all around the world, not just Philippines.

Great stuff!

Well, I wasn’t scammed base on my reasonable knowledge & experience but definitely was being used via online streaming app. In fact, I wished I was scammed cause I would have got my money back or some of it; any one who knows me would never see me giving up so much money to one person, but I did; I gave enough to probably buy a brand new fully loaded pickup truck; I just moved to another State, retired early in my 50s with a really good pension, and no debt, no mortgage, etc., and felt extremely lonely and not following God! Met her online streaming as a DJ from the Philippines; her DJ Controller was having issues and later I offered to buy her one; she was very hesitant about it, but I kept insisting 🤦🏻‍♂️ And it all started from that; she really never asked me for money, etc but later, she would “without asking me” if you understand that (asking someone for money without asking them) and no, she did not want a relationship, never talked about sex, etc etc it was me who had a crush on her! She even said to me once, if your going to give away your money why dont u give some to people in need in your area; I completely blame ME! I initiated this and little by little, I created a monster; after about a year, I stopped; its about over a year and yes she has asked me for money, but I no longer give in; I told her I am embarrassed and very distraught what I have done! I wished before all of that started, I would have been placed in a white padded room for a month with a Bible to prevent me from doing that! This is probably the dumbest thing I ever done to give away that much cash, and I learned about gift tax which a lot of people dont know about, but yes u do have to file a gift tax (when an amount is reached) so my stupidity is now documented. Loneliness can make your thought process cloudy with alcohol especially if u dont have God in your life or not following God’s advice!

Good Words of wisdom Paul, good that you recognized your "sorroundings".....and being a player in Life, helps you navigate "the game of Life". This one is for You out there........"If you think that you picked up the lady you are "dating"...(!?) You are wrong...., The lady picked you Up out of the Line up".

Great video! Very wise advice

Great story Paul ,glad it worked out well 🎉

Good One Paul..!!

Great vlog!

Great job Paul. Great honesty and commentary. Hope to meet you when I come in March.

Probably the best story/personal experience I've heard from you, Paul, over the years. Turning up on time (a prearranged time) might seem like a small thing, but it's a mark of respect. I don't care about cultural differences. It's about basic respect for each other. Youy did absolutely the correct thing - as I would have done myself. If there is no mutual respect there is nothing.

I love these types of story's, they are entertaining, detailed, I can picture it in my mind, your awesome humor, and I learn a lot from them...Thank you.!

Call you don’t notice many videos as you used to but the quality of your videos have been increasing all the time and this one was a fantastic video thank you for sharing your life

Thanks for the lecture Paul, I will play this video again as my plane is landing in Cebu👍

Mr. Paul, Tks. much.

I like your humility and honesty. I really think you are a good guy

Good video Paul, it's good that someone addresses the reality of living in the PI and dispels the fantasy notions. Thank you!

It’s not just Filipino time. My sister-in-law from Ecuador was notorious for making us wait 15 - 30 It’s by the fact, she knew well in advance where we were supposed to be at a certain time she was habitually late I did the exact same thing that Paul did. We left her at the house after waiting five minutes guess what we never had to wait on her ever again. I laughed so hard when he told that store it was hilarious.

@mojavedesertsonorandesert9531

Жыл бұрын

As an Ecuadorian I find this to be true! 🕤⏰⏳⌛

Great video my friend. Thank you telling us your experience..

Thanks always good to hear this, I'm still a couple years away from going first time and I like to keep these facts hammering in me. I'm not going for any women I just want to establish myself first in a decent place to stay and living within my budget month to month after that I may open myself for someone to share life with me, but in no rush what so ever. As I see it now its my retirement and No 1 comes first Me.

I’ve enjoyed you sharing of your life experiences.😊

The thing is Paul to anyone seriously thinking of a move to the Philippines for whatever reason. There js no shortage of channels run by expats and and filipinas that provide first hand experiences that have gone well and not so well. The way I see it I'll take note I may not always agree with what's said but someone else has screwed up with best of intentions taken the lumps so I don't have to. I'd be a fool to ignore what they've said.

Enjoy your insight on different topics. I’ve found pressures also makes a big factor. Especially if family is involved.

Another enlightening video 🙂 Thanks

Interesting, "put the foot down" and you end up with a different outcome. Excellent advice, no matter where you are.

Enjoyed the stories. Thanks for sharing.

Such sagely advice... ✅💛 Hoping all is well Paul...🤜🏻💥🤛🏻 hello to Baby Mae.... 🙏🏻 It's crazy when I think that I've been following you since September of 2018.... It's been a wonderful adventure so far so good... One of these days soon I hope to meet y'all... Literally dream about the Philippines... I have that take away in my mind of no expectations and no wishful thinking.

So true Paul! Thank you for sharing your experiences with us.

@paulinthephilippinesolddog9234

Жыл бұрын

My pleasure!

Very good video Paul. I think we have all experienced that.

Moral of the Story: Respect is earned not given. Great story daddy Paul!

Good one! Thank you.

Great insightful video thanks Old Dog

Good words for every day Old Dog thank you.

@paulinthephilippinesolddog9234

Жыл бұрын

Thanks for listening

Love your stories Paul. Life is exactly the same in Thailand. Love the challenges.