Anyone who decides to leave a Narcissist is an incredibly strong person and should be proud of themselves :)

@DayaTom

4 жыл бұрын

100%

@diane5522

4 жыл бұрын

I’ve never heard of this before but I will be teaching my daughter to look out for this sanpaku eye. I’ve read the links. Thanks for the info

@diane5522

4 жыл бұрын

You won’t see me being bit by no wild animal as I don’t have white under my iris

@emokiriemiabednegoabed2844

4 жыл бұрын

Smartness is important in a relationship and cyberhackinggenius helped cloned my husband’s phone and I got access to all his dealings both on phone and social media without touching his phone. All I did was share my husband’s phone number with cyberhackinggenius and I was able to read both his new and deleted messages from my phone without having to touch his phone. My husband was a cheating Narcissist and I’m glad to find out all his secrets and infidelity with the help of cyberhackinggenius. I’m here in UK and able to access my husband’s phone messages with a link on my phone even while he was away in Canada cheating on me. I got to discover that my husband who is legally married to me here in UK is also recently married to another woman in Canada and I’m finally going through a divorce with lots of evidence against him. I read all his Whatsapp, Facebook,Skype,Instagram and Snapchat messages Including the deleted text and recent messages. You can contact this great Hacker Gavin via Gmail (cyberhackinggenius) or text and speak to him directly on his phone and WhatsApp : +19256795146 and don’t forget to thank me later.

@mssocial2093

4 жыл бұрын

JohSims6 thank you! 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

Not reacting and keeping your mouth shut is one of the hardest things in the world to do.

@michelle1078

3 жыл бұрын

So true!!

@clarakennedy2922

3 жыл бұрын

It's a true saying my mum has drummed onto me from a kid...."it takes a stronger person to remain silent" and its so true. Anyone can argue back and forth and want the last word etc.....but remaining silent confuses them, makes u feel stronger and gives you the upper hand and the power even though they are they ones who want the power and doesn't give them anything to respond to. I've always steered away from conflict but I find the emotional side of things more difficult....thats where I show my hand. I just end up crying lol xx

@heatherhartman6474

3 жыл бұрын

It sure IS!!!!😬😬

@bouchie739

3 жыл бұрын

How do you do this when they antagonize and trap you and you cannot get away from it.

@clarakennedy2922

3 жыл бұрын

@@bouchie739 babe, what do you mean? Are you in some sort of abusive relationship? Or is it a friend/family member or work colleague etc? Xx

“What someone is doing to you is a reflection of themselves.”

@peekaxu4352

2 жыл бұрын

i feel sorry for those people..i have had to deal with that type of people and im still learning

@susannabonke8552

2 жыл бұрын

@@lala5061 but they seem to be quite happy and get applause.

@jacksbackable

2 жыл бұрын

💯%✅

@peekaxu4352

2 жыл бұрын

@MariaLil3Men they sho do

@lindaschultz7900

2 жыл бұрын

Love this statement !!

Do no react. I've done it. You lose. Do not respond. I've done it. It wastes time. The narcissist will not change. No point in calling that person out. Leave. The fix is to leave. It is hard, but it hurts more to stay. Leave.

@EbonySeraphim

Жыл бұрын

Do not react is not a solution for sure. It helps keeps your sanity as it doesn’t give the narcissist so-called “ammo” to paint a very different picture about what is going on. It is extremely difficult for an outsider to parse a conflict favorably for you when you have “bad reactions.” Even if it is a just reaction. Also, not reacting keeps you less emotional and more objective in seeing what the real problem patterns are and get to the decision to end the relationship. “Do not respond” - well that is leaving the relationship. Do not respond, forever.

@lianepinkos6703

Жыл бұрын

By responding and sharing how you feel or what your boundaries are only tells the narcissist areas that they can focus on breaking you down at. Never share anything personal.

@EbonySeraphim

Жыл бұрын

@@lianepinkos6703 I didn't even think about this whole dynamic of how many narcissists work: They typically "rush into" a relationship and/or substantially play up how close you are with them. If you believe that ,or aspire to get there, then it means you're going to want to try to communicate these things openly and clearly with the assumption that they will harmonize with you. Ultimately, that isn't their goal. They really do mess up just about everything you're supposed to do.

@ranc1977

10 ай бұрын

OF course leave. However in real life there are many situations where we cannot leave and we are forced to be inside ambient with the narcissists. Like job, finances, third party, service, help, poverty, inability to escape, immobility, red tape, trauma etc. Then "no react" will be interpreted by bullies as a sign that they are correct and that they continue with abuse, they won't have any incentive to stop. Sam Vaknin says that narcissists cannot change their delusions - however he said that narcissists can control their abuse, this part is in their control- otherwise they would not have so many techniques such as hovering, hoovering, honeymoon phase.

@Jabberwalky42

10 ай бұрын

​@@EbonySeraphim They are deliberate shape-shifters and mirrors.

I feel like this supposedly fake buddha quote sums the message you're saying nicely: "One day the Buddha walked through a village. A very angry and rude young man came up and began insulting him. The man said: “You are as stupid as everyone else. You are nothing but a fake.” The Buddha was not upset by these insults. Instead he asked the young man: “Tell me, if you buy a gift for someone and that person does not take it, to whom does the gift belong?” The man was surprised and answered: “It would belong to me because I bought the gift.” The Buddha smiled and said “That is correct. And it is exactly the same with your anger. If you become angry with me and I do not get insulted, then the anger falls back on you. You are the only one who becomes unhappy, not me. All you have done is hurt yourself.”

@joolzessam1824

5 жыл бұрын

I love that story. So true and so wise.

@heyyouguyshey7607

5 жыл бұрын

That's very good

@andreamiller718

5 жыл бұрын

I love that!!

@amyr3285

5 жыл бұрын

I like that kind of thinking.

@TwoWheels_OO

5 жыл бұрын

Thanks for that

Don't waste your life fighting a toxic partner. Run for the hill. Start over.

@1mochadelightable

5 жыл бұрын

Right. Just leave....Staying is your fault now!

@mrschmidt8384

5 жыл бұрын

@@1mochadelightable no, what you're doing is victim-blaming. Being in an abusive relationship is *never* the abused person's fault

@erdftzgh

5 жыл бұрын

Thats what i did.

@curlytopkitty2468

4 жыл бұрын

Yep!👍👍👍❤❤❤

@Heymonda8794

4 жыл бұрын

Lol😁😁😄😃😀

No reaction and No response is a response and a powerful one.....and you don’t lose yourself or control...🙏🏼

@bobsmith962

Жыл бұрын

Yes I learned that a long time ago. Sometimes the best response is no response at all.

@shanieceshelby

Жыл бұрын

Love this so much

@Sha-tf9hh

Жыл бұрын

I. Love you

@maryfimielkowski220

Жыл бұрын

Easier said then done ???? Bad habits r hard to break ? CRY out to God !!!!!

@ranc1977

10 ай бұрын

For some narcs it might work. For many narcissists no response will be green light for abuse to continue. They will interpret their target's silence as "Please continue, you are mighty, strong and correct and I need your discipline all the time since you are so grand".

Removing your self is the most powerful thing you can do 👏🏽👏🏽 and giving them zero attention

@sssttt2211

10 ай бұрын

❤

@LisetteDiva

8 ай бұрын

Hello. Goodness I wish I could give you A BILLION thumbs up!!!! Silence is a killer.....

@nalahappy2547

8 ай бұрын

@@LisetteDiva exactly I had a cousin who’s very narcissistic and I removed myself from her presence about 2 years ago, I stopped seeing her and calling or answering calls. when I see her at family events it’s just basic small talk and the other day she blew up on me because she’s not getting any attention and I still ignore her, and don’t fall for her tricks so I know she’s really feeling it that I don’t give her attention.

@karenbrown6348

Ай бұрын

Grey Rocking works

I've learned to trust my anger to tell me how much a boundary has been crossed. I don't dismiss my anger. Anger is like a fire alarm that requires action to achieve safety.

@lovearttherapyalways

3 жыл бұрын

me too! I was raised that anger was wrong.. but you said it perfectly! Proverbs 23:9 Do not speak to a fool, for he will despise the wisdom of your words. Proverbs 29:9 If a wise man goes to court with a fool, there will be raving and laughing with no resolution

@jigglypuff4ever

2 жыл бұрын

I think the anger can be helpful to alert you to create a boundary... but once a boundary has been created.... try not have the anger anymore

@jeanniezukav7837

2 жыл бұрын

@@jigglypuff4ever That's how I experience it too. The key is to disengage from the dysfunctional relationship.

@VeganCrusader

2 жыл бұрын

Totally ... and the anger can actually be super useful in that it motivates you to put your foot down and draw a line in the sand and defend it. You just gotta balance that by doing it unemotionally and you have a super powerful defense combo!

@mickkeyking

2 жыл бұрын

Yes anger is intuition alerting you to disrespected boundaries 🙏🙏🙏

I've learned a narcissist is an emotional leech, parasite.. so never respond with emotion.... respond the way they do..... Emotionless.

@arriz6413

4 жыл бұрын

i m dealing with a narcissist husbnd my life is going like helll

@chrissyvino3162

4 жыл бұрын

@ar riz. Im in the same situation and it does feel like hell on earth a lot of the time! I have 2 young kids and i feel so stuck .. I've learned that if i don't react to it or call him out on how i see what he's doing and i say im not feeding into this and walk away , it usually helps It took awhile to learn to do that as he was slowly driving me insane! I have to lean on the Lord and really stand my ground w my husband , once i recognized i wasnt the problem and he is a true narcissist it gave me strength to deal w him Its a miserable rollercoaster tho and i pray things get better for you!!

@davisdavis1347

4 жыл бұрын

If one is a sensitive type its hard to do. But if you can master being emotionless while interacting with a narcissist, this will start setting you free.

@anotherdimensionalentity1040

4 жыл бұрын

@@arriz6413 I feel your pain and wish I could change it for you

@evelynvelasquez7999

3 жыл бұрын

Agree

It's a nightmare if you are married to them. You can't escape if you live with them, you can't leave the situation so easily.

This was SOOOO helpful to me. I struggle with co-dependency, and my husband is a narcissist and passive aggressive. Everything you said makes so much sense! By God's grace I was able to take the super hard step to walk away from our very toxic marriage and initiated a separation (we have been separated since January). Thank you for the assurance that I'm on the right track :-)

@jamesarmstrong4179

2 жыл бұрын

Cristina Boersma,You got a lovely smile

@songsforlowewedding

2 жыл бұрын

How is it going? Would love an update 💗

@MsAIR1990

2 жыл бұрын

Proud of you! I hope one day I can find the strength and support system in order to leave...my narcissist doesn't believe in "separation" so I need a plan to just leave and get a divorce

@mariahconklin4150

2 жыл бұрын

And they don’t want to get help it’s sad. I know what I need to work on but what he does to me is horrible invalidating even small accomplishments.

@jennywenny8016

2 жыл бұрын

Hugs to you! I feel your pain.

1. Know who we are dealing with 2. Understand where your wounds are 3. Learn how to mask your emotions. Not allowing the person to see they have upset you. Set boundaries. 4. Learn how to love yourself when someone hurts you. Learn to love yourself through that.

@soranllycastillo7098

4 жыл бұрын

My mantra everyday!

@shaunc721

4 жыл бұрын

Thanks for this

@evelynvelasquez7999

3 жыл бұрын

Agree

@LadyBug-co3iv

3 жыл бұрын

THANK YOU!!

@loveachondo7167

3 жыл бұрын

Thanks for this summary!

The best way to respond is, dont respond! Drives them crazy!

@battyverti2359

5 жыл бұрын

Yep...they ask wtf is wrong with you or whenever you stop tripping lmk..

@zeebee9356

5 жыл бұрын

Charles Potts; My narcissist sibling doesn't tolerate silence when she's spouting off and running her mouth. She goes on an endless loop of "huh, did you hear me, huh, huh, huh"? Until she gets the desired result. It is exhausting!

@user-ye4bi1ip2o

5 жыл бұрын

Good .don't reply

@melissacandlish966

5 жыл бұрын

Tried that, it didn't work

@rockstarofredondo

4 жыл бұрын

Yes!!

It's pretty sad when grown ass adults don't know how to regulate their emotions and they walk around angry and lash out on everyone..this video describes my "family" member

My favorite thing to say after they insult me is, "Well,this conversation has run its course. I have some things to do. " "You're entitled to your opinion" and "I hear your viewpoint." This is all about non engaging.Wothdraw your presence and attention,just as you would with any rude person.If they say humiliating things in public say "Wow...That's really hurtful. Long silence*. Don't take the bait. Look crestfallen and let others see just how cruel they are. If they apologize then say, I accept your apology ,but this is happening a lot. Why are you so hurtful so often?" Put it back where it belongs. And watch them back pedal. Practice keeping a blank expression and watch how much they are confused. They don't know where to hit anymore. Good luck and never take your old devices with you because spyware can sometimes survive a factory reset. Get rid of them. Otherwise they'll continue to try to make your life hard and listen in 0n everything you say to Drs,lawyers etc. Trust me,it has happened to me and many other women. And some women were killed when he found them. Be safe, and make a clean get away. And remember, and old device,if it's around a new one,can transfer infected files/ spyware via data sharing or Bluetooth or pairing device. Turn off mail forwarding and be careful who you give new number to. Because if they give your ex your new number he can send spyware via text as well. Secure your router and home network and ensure your smart devices are not hacked. Use Non -WiFi security cameras,so he can't hack in. Trust me,they have an unnatural insatiable need for control. Why? Because if they can't control you,they lose control over themselves, and then Anything can happen. Be careful, and use wisdom on whether to get a restraining order against him. Sometimes it just makes them even angrier and then they really believe that they're a victim,then they escalate. It's only a piece of paper. And cops don't really help until after a crimes been committed. Be vigilant about your safety,vary your routines and check your car and belongings for tiny GPS trackers. You cannot be too careful. Better to be cautious and alive,than to be dead from underestimating the seriousness of the situation. Get a taser and pepper spray,take self defense and new device. You can't be too careful. Be safe and sound. Hugs to all survivors.

NO CONTACT. NO CONTACT.

@krysformayor8217

5 жыл бұрын

M. F. Richardson Thank you. It's literally the only solution.

@jalexa20

5 жыл бұрын

Yup!!! Run and do not look back no matter what!!!! Close that door and do not unlock it!!!!

@evomene4518

4 жыл бұрын

Just waiting for the moment i get independent :D Im already happy cause i know iz Will happen some day!

@Lisboooa

4 жыл бұрын

Try that with a narc father...

@djdoolittle1315

4 жыл бұрын

Best comment 👍

I find I am mentally healthier and happier by not having a friendship with any toxic people in my inner circle. Life is too short to spend time and energy with people like that are negative and verbally abusive.

@kidsavageboy4150

5 жыл бұрын

I stopped talking with my whole family because of narcissism. I have never been happier.

@americanbeauty171

4 жыл бұрын

Wow!!!

@fdc2023

4 жыл бұрын

S Flamer - you are beautiful. Regards Francois

@elhadjdiallo633

2 жыл бұрын

You know people have been wondering if this good looking chocolate handsome caramel and intelligent dude speak English at all I'm referring to me is just that these people have no clue and ideas I'm trying to protect myself from toxic , delusional , vicious , malicious and dangerious people at all !!! I love being alone and i enjoy my own company dont get me wrong i love people with all my heart i have learn to love them from a distance because i dont no what theyre doing behind close door or behind the scene !!!! Take care of yall selfves .....

@mongoose59

2 жыл бұрын

They are not relaxing to be around.

Pay attention to what they accuse you of because its the closest thing to a confession that you'll ever receive from a narcisist

The only connection I can think of is that both are based on the perpetrator’s undue emphasis of his/her own thoughts/emotions. In narcissistic abuse, perpetrators usually expresses the attitude that everything centers around them. They may object to that description and even insist that they don’t believe that; but, their actions say otherwise. Virtually everything you do/don’t do gets tied back to the perpetrator as a person. You’re either doing something right b/c you’re smart, capable, etc., or you’re intentionally doing it wrong in order to hurt/anger the perpetrator in some way. You are also likely to be accused of doing it wrong, even if you’re doing it right-again b/c of the perpetrator’s thoughts/emotions. Toxic positivity is generally not perpetrated with the intention to hurt anyone, and most wouldn’t even recognize it as being toxic/hurtful; but, in most cases, the perpetrator is still oblivious to the effect it has on others, and to the value of that effect. Narcissism is a psychological disorder and, with few exceptions, abuse is perpetrated with the tangible intention of causing harm. In contrast, toxic positivity is a behavioral flaw that is essentially an extreme version of selfishness, based in denial, and is generally perpetrated with the intention of maintaining and creating happiness. Most people are selfish, in some way or another. Toxic positivity is a subtle expression of selfishness-so subtle that even the perpetrator may not realize why it’s wrong b/c, after all, s/he is only seeking to encourage/uplift people. This is where denial comes in. Most people struggle/suffer, at some point or another. I believe that most people are also aware that there are people who experience more pain than they are aware of from their own lives. Denial allows people to look at someone who reminds them of themselves and assume that they cannot be justified in their suffering b/c the observer is not suffering. Denial also allows people who have suffered to deny the significance of other people’s suffering b/c it is notably different from their own, or b/c they perceive it as being notably different. From here, there are 2 extremes: One is for them to be semi-consciously abusive-meaning that they are generally aware that their actions are hurtful; but, they rationalize it as being justified. The other is to perpetrate toxic positivity-in which they are completely unaware that their actions are hurtful and it’s difficult for them to identify why they would be. Additionally, That feeling when your partner cheated and you don't have the courage to leave him / her so you just death with the pain and live everyday asking questions about your worth. This pain is different from the cheating one_living and seeing him everywhere anticipating when him or she do it again. The best thing is to hire a private investigator Metaspyhub@gmail. com to help you spy on their cellphone remotely just like he did for me...

As time passed I realized you can only control your response to someone you can't control another person's behavior.

@StephanieLynCoaching

5 жыл бұрын

Yes! It’s a freeing feeling once you get there.

They're lashing out to release the pressure of how they feel about themselves inside. Thanks for sharing that. It helps.

@compagniaelvira

3 жыл бұрын

They don’t feel anything about themselves inside. They are empty puppets with no morality. They don’t even realise that you feel bad about them. All you can do is being fake credibly, so that they get the illusion of having some kind of relationship with you. It’s an acting exercise, that’s all.

@taniab754

2 жыл бұрын

@@compagniaelvira I'm starting to think that's the truth, especially if they are unhealthy

@beautiful841

2 жыл бұрын

They hate themselves

@CiluhStyle1

Жыл бұрын

Yup

@cynthiakleist9513

Жыл бұрын

you need to fight back. my mom is a narcissist and i learned to deal with her by giving her the same treatment she was giving me. its hard but i did it and she doesn't speak too much to me anymore but that's how it is. NO ONE should be putting you down, insulting you because they couldn't stand up to the person or persons who did it to them and they are your parent. NO. get the silent treatment DO IT BACK . I did. She finally backed down after ONE YEAR. She criticizes so did I. I don't negotiate with her. She started blaming me for HER SON taking her money selling her house and putting her in a nursing home I told her well this was your golden child. You said I couldn't handle money so there you go. GOODBYE, and I never spoke to her again and she didn't speak to me for a LONG TIME. She barely does now but thats her problem.

Easier said than done. Often the person pushing your buttons is someone you actually care about, such as your teenager, spouse, student, or a parent. No one is all bad, no one is all good. Each and every one of us is hurt and damaged in some way. Staying unemotional and setting boundaries is one thing, but walking away, especially for good, is dismissive and not always possible. A permanent goodbye would depend on the extent of their gaslighting. But most attempts to work us up are subtle and cumulative over time.

Walking away is very powerful. I walked away from my father when I saw he was getting going, and removed myself, and he followed me to my room and cornered me. 100% powerful stance to say "No I'm not going to do this with you" if it evoked that big of a reaction. Because they want you to stay and play their game.

@jamesarmstrong4179

2 жыл бұрын

Samantha McCarthy,You look stunning,hope you are not with a narcissist....

@jaycee4504

11 ай бұрын

Check mate ✔️

I was waiting at the bank the other day seated next to a very elderly lady who smiled at me and proudly said, "I'm celebrating my 67th wedding anniversary tomorrow." I smiled back and asked, "What's your best relationship advice?" She quickly replied, "If your man gets unruly, just walk away my dear....just quickly walk away without saying a word..... just walk away."

@narcssuckass

2 жыл бұрын

Even when they use foul language? They call horrible names? Tells you that sex online is better than me? That killed my heart right there! I am leaving soon but getting stronger through all this! I trust God is with me Jesus rebuke and bind everything not of you into the lake of fire and loose all good things to me from Heaven❤️🙏 I ask now I’m Jesus name Amen

"I'm sorry you feel that way" is a classic Narcissistic apology....

@Glitteryglows

4 жыл бұрын

Yes but its not narcissistic to say that to a person who screaming at you, possibly even degrading you or refuses to see his or her part in the discussion.

@sleeplessinseattle5160

3 жыл бұрын

@@Glitteryglows I just repeat "I'm sorry see that differently"

@danarsenault6545

3 жыл бұрын

The best response is: “Who does the person your pretending to be, think they are?”

@electricjellyfish375

3 жыл бұрын

Hey! That's what a lot of therapists do! And I think they're trained to do so!

@nacarreira777

3 жыл бұрын

@@electricjellyfish375 When a narcissist says it...it's a non apology. It's not a show of regret or remorse for what they have done, they're just sorry you feel that way.

7:14 This is SOooo important, and it's a hard decision to make when you understand the other person's background/problems. However, if they're attacking you... it's no longer about them. It's about YOU, and what's best for your own wellbeing.

@teresarenee3829

2 жыл бұрын

We can only help those who help themselves. They usually do not want to change.

Living with a narcissist who has a terrible temper even after years of therapy is terrible. It's really been destructive to my sense of self, confidence, and how I feel. It's done damage for sure but I am trying to become aware of how this has affected me and what I can do to get better until I can get to the point I am able to support myself. That day cannot come soon enough. It's really hard now and has been for a long time. Covid made it even worse. I just want to get out of this situation now.

@katrisianobrien8497

3 жыл бұрын

Do you need help ? I can recommend you to someone who helped me get my ex back and he can also render you help as he did mine too

@katrisianobrien8497

3 жыл бұрын

Whtsapp him directly

@katrisianobrien8497

3 жыл бұрын

+234,,,,815,,,,689,,,,.6436

I was the toxic person. And you have no idea how much your videos are helping me. I didnt realize jst how bad i was until i stumbled upon one of your videos. It opened my eyes. It hurt so much but every point you made described me so perfectly. it helped me realize that i needed to walk away from my "partner". Just as much for their sake as my own. I was causing them so much pain and once i realized i was the problem i realized i had to leave so that they could be as happy as they deserved to be and so i could work on myself and my issues and hopefully one day be as happy as I deserve to be.

@emaambition9378

5 жыл бұрын

Arizbeth Reyes I love your honesty. My wife is toxic person and every time she does that. I walk away from her.we have 1 child. I just want my child to grow up a lil bet. Her days are numbers.unless she changes.

@emaambition9378

5 жыл бұрын

Shauna May Most importantly is that you learned from it. There is a book called organize your mind.its very helpful.

@somayayousry8846

5 жыл бұрын

I am kinda confused.. so are we saying that we cannot ever try to work it out with others or understand their fears or wounds are help them heal ?? Is it always that we walk away??

@saschaspring2198

5 жыл бұрын

@@emaambition9378 Thank you. I will find it!

@saschaspring2198

5 жыл бұрын

@@somayayousry8846 I wish someone would help me heal ... I do work on self awareness, and pray daily, DAILY to cease hurting people.

They always come with a nice style, makes you talk open up, showing you heart, then they take the knife

@emilycunningham8125

3 жыл бұрын

Yeah, they are genius at making you feel seen but what they are really doing is sizing you up.

@Xelets

3 жыл бұрын

When I first met my ex, she put on a mask and a completely constructed personality around the things that appeal the most, and a month later, she started oversharing all her problems. That's when she took control.

@clarakennedy2922

3 жыл бұрын

Correct. My boss does this. At the start she love bombed me and reeled me in like I was her "friend". All she was new and me being the person I am made her feel welcome, trusted her and let myself open up to her but it wasnt long before the cracks started to show and she then became manager and thats when she really changed it up. My good friend left work because of her and warned me about her and told me not to trust her but I couldn't imagine someone so "nice" could turn so quickly and about 3 months into being my boss as soon as she got comfortable in the role etc she pushed me off the pedestal and the mask fell off and she blows hot and cold. Never praises me. Always picks put my flaws. Tries to show her authority one min she's so nice and next she's preying on things ive done wrong and using things against me as my weaknesses that I'd told her about when we were "friends" I do believe that people come into your life for a reason and she has been a big learning opportunity for me....I feel like I'm growing through this experience and it's preparing me for people like this in the future...I won't be so trusting and open with people so fast. Xx

@juliaannegrider5734

2 жыл бұрын

You described my husband perfectly.

@jamoriah

2 жыл бұрын

So true

Helpful! Also, being in a position where you don't feel listened to or safe isn't a conversation. It's good to say, "You know, I'm going to go. When you're ready to have a conversation about this, where we both have the ability to talk and to be heard, let me know." It's empowering when you speak up for what you deserve. You teach people how to treat you.

Thank God people like you are making these videos to help people. My narcissist husband used my childhood abuse to completely screw up my head at an especially vulnerable time in my life. My mental health was being abused by using my abuse against me. At 37 years old I never met a narcissist or knew what signs to look for. These videos saved my mental health. I’d have ended up in the psych ward if I hadn’t stumbled across these. I cannot thank you enough. 🙏🏼

@valerieriggins3184

Жыл бұрын

MANY Have.....I Know For A FACT! One Went Thru Because Of The Gaslighting And Confusion Came OUT AWARE.🥳💃💅💯

@shaniecegullison

11 ай бұрын

My childhood abuse is being used against me too

It's hopeless. Start working on your exit strategy. Stop wasting your precious time. You can't fix someone that does not know they're broken. It will be a cold day in Hell before a narcissist goes to a psychologist. The Narcissist knows everything, they are much smarter than any psychologist. Just get away from the narcissist as fast as you can, that's the only way.

@shellyfrye7404

3 жыл бұрын

Funny he thinks I am the abuser. We actual f**k?!!#

@lovearttherapyalways

3 жыл бұрын

True, Proverbs 23:9 Do not speak to a fool, for he will despise the wisdom of your words. Proverbs 29:9 If a wise man goes to court with a fool, there will be raving and laughing with no resolution

@andrewsonstony7710

2 жыл бұрын

But how when is your parent.and like myself my both parent are narcissist.and i have no money for purchase a flat and move on

@BiancaMynssen

2 жыл бұрын

Truth

@jennywenny8016

2 жыл бұрын

Could not agree more. I have lived a lifetime of attracting these leaches. Always learning from my mistakes and thinking I won’t attract anymore. Unfortunately, I would just attract smarter ones. That’s my life right now. Incredibly draining. I pray that one day soon I will look at my life and smile bc I will have completely eliminated these vile creatures out of my life

Evil people hurt people.

@threeicys

5 жыл бұрын

Correction: Hurting people hurt people

@TigerPaint92

5 жыл бұрын

@@threeicys No, I disagree. I have been hurting deeply most of my life from abuse and I dont hurt people. Only when I am triggered strongly by someone

@mireillelebeau2513

5 жыл бұрын

@@TigerPaint92 You are the exception that confirm the rule, You have learn to act differently. I really do think that hurting people hurt people that people who doesn't love themselves hurt others

@jazr7997

5 жыл бұрын

Pfsif correction..Mentally ill* They need therapy because they often faced an abuse and abandoned their illness!

@stat9

5 жыл бұрын

Definitely not sympathizing with an evildoer does make more sense. Otherwise isn't it aligning understanding to your own destruction? So it makes sense to care for yourself instead of receiving their directed projection.

Remember by leaving a narcissit your respecting your self and not only that your protecting your mental and emotional well being

I feel is best to ignore and cut ties 100% because what they want from you is a reaction or start an argument. “For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of” if you are a believer and read the bible this is 100% true. Stop seeing friends in common. Avoid going to the same places. Don’t talk about them to anyone and focus on something else. Now if you live with them, plan a safe exist where you never have to look back or get in touch with them. Once you are gone you are gone. No second chances they will never change.

@allanwittekind7040

Жыл бұрын

💕

@shaniecegullison

11 ай бұрын

Yesss

@mojisolabisiriyu9673

9 ай бұрын

I absolutely agree 💯💯💯

Hey, Stephanie. I can't remember which video it was but I love when you quoted, "crazy will make you crazy" and "unhealthy will make you unhealthy". Couldn't agree with you more 100%!

@StephanieLynCoaching

6 жыл бұрын

Caelan Kamuf haha!!! Not sure exactly there but it’s true!!! 🙌

@iamblessed3539

5 жыл бұрын

Yes!!💯💯

@misstmemrs

5 жыл бұрын

Yes, what is most dysfunctional is the black and white thinking and no talk rule about the narcissistic abuse and rigid unspoken rules and rigid roles. Pathological narcissists are master liars. Their whole game is logical fallacies.

@adambenedict6155

5 жыл бұрын

John Kam and Stephanie Lyn, it is the Gaslighting & Manipulation Vignette! ; ) I watched it earlier today!

@hienienguyen6766

4 жыл бұрын

exactly

9:00 - “I’m sorry you feel that way, but I’m not going to be around someone who speaks to me that way.” Brilliant!

@someothername9462

2 жыл бұрын

And then he (or in my case - SHE) will say - oh, running away, huh? Can't handle it, eh... With that nasty glint in her eyes

@abigail3817

2 жыл бұрын

But my narcissistic mother will say this exact thing after gas lighting me

@crsh2007

2 жыл бұрын

@@someothername9462 My narc husband would react this way, too. That’s why I just ignore him and go about my business. If he wants to waste his time following me around, that’s HIS business; but I got shit to do! 🤷🏻‍♀️

@benjaminperez4570

2 жыл бұрын

Dude, I tried to walk away and my dad threatened to beat me. I told him "I don't have to take this" and he pulled the "you will because I'm your dad" bullshit.

@zaeriuz

2 жыл бұрын

@@benjaminperez4570 How do you deal with that kind of situation?

Thank you for this. I started to cry because as of lately my marriage been in shambles I seem to do everything wrong and criticism comes at me daily. Fights are picked and I just don't understand why everything that I say he just seems annoyed at me and just short-tempered. It could be something so little and I get this attitude and I just think that he doesn't love me anymore. I work but he works more and that's always shoved in my face that he does way more and I should know my role and be a better mother. Not bother him about problems with our child. Our child is special needs I thought venting was okay to do in a marriage but I guess I'm wrong When I tell him that this hurts my feelings and I feel like I can never do right then he claimed that I'm playing the victim. He claims that he can never talk to me but I feel like I'm always so patient with him. I've never felt so alone sitting next to somebody that I love so dearly BUT someone that I CAN'T rely on for emotional support or physical like when I was sick. It's hard for me not to see that it's NOT my fault I guess I'm a lot emotionally and physically because I'm been dealing with a certain illness that's debilitated my life for a little bit. Thank you for this advice I definitely need to work on self-love I've never had any.

@Northman1963

10 ай бұрын

You're just as equal as anyone else on this planet. No one is more important than anyone else.

I like the “ respond vs react “ because a response is warranted! Having the fortitude to respond to nasty dark toxic is fine as long as it isn’t emotional. Calling out their unhealthy is ok

The more mature you act with a prsn like that the meaner they are towards you.... so be prepared for that, and continue to focus on positive things and let go of the negative

@MZHARDBODYENT

2 жыл бұрын

Exactly

@LexiA0327

2 жыл бұрын

This is so true..because they want you to react like they are used to you reacting,when you start healing it infuriates them.

@messyadulthood

2 жыл бұрын

This is true. I’m considering leaving my room because the person is my roommate

@tanaanderson4069

2 жыл бұрын

TRUE

@ingood0867

2 жыл бұрын

@@LexiA0327 yes they do get angrier.

Staying calm, & not giving the reaction! Is the best medicine I guess.🤓

@davidoaikhena4380

3 жыл бұрын

water full 👏👏👏 Don’t panic! Stay cool calm and collected!

@amandapryar4675

3 жыл бұрын

Yes it is and it's taken me 5years to realise that you either agree or just smile and walk away

@waterfull2907

3 жыл бұрын

@@amandapryar4675 very glad to hear it. wish U all the best my friend. stay blessed:)

After living with a narcissistic grandmother who hated me for 13-14 years, I’ve had enough. Really good video. 1. Knowing your wounds 2. If someone damages your vulnerable spot and you understand your wound, have an inner dialogue.

I dealt with many of them by giving them what they want. Afterwards I leave them alone for ever. I stay away, and make sure they never have access to me again.

My spouse hated being walked away from. Towards the end of our relationship, he got more aggressive than ever before. That's also the same time I started standing up for myself and stopped taking his crap. The more emotionally independent and confident I became, the more I learned to "respond" to his abusive tactics rather than react. Which resulted in his attempt to try harder. Eventually, I had to leave cause he would threaten to hurt me if I walked away from his arguements. Of course I walked away anyway because I wasn't going to allow him to EVER think that I would "bow down" to his threats out of fear. Nope!

@StephanieLynCoaching

6 жыл бұрын

Anna Rosario 💗💪

@boulderfrog

6 жыл бұрын

They bail pretty quick when you stand up to them. Wasted 8 years on eggshells, then I said "enough". And never again.

@user-cn1yn3vq4h

6 жыл бұрын

Queen❤👑

@Maggie005

6 жыл бұрын

Blessings to you! Glad you had the power to move on and loving yourself.

@CarmenRivera-ti9in

6 жыл бұрын

Exactly, what I experienced. They all seem to behave exactly the same.

My sister just unleashed a litany of abuse at me. My response was and I quote “all that you have accused me of, is in your heart.... not in mine”.

@christianpulisic7784

2 жыл бұрын

Gabriele Poverchuk,You don't need a narc 😈 in your life

@888hereandnow

2 жыл бұрын

Woah!!

@ritalawson7020

2 жыл бұрын

Ask her have you looked in the mirror lately!!!!

@latashalewis873

2 жыл бұрын

❤❤❤❤❤

@rachellejane6334

2 жыл бұрын

Wow this is a good statement

Your talking about avoiding falling into a pitfall of negative emotions that your offender is pressing you against.Walking away when you see it that way truly is empowering because YOU CHOOSE TO NOT PLAY "THEIR GAME."I love it you made me understand.

I absolutely agree with you! If you step down to their level and react the way they want you to then ultimately you are just as better as they are It doesn’t solve anything. Especially if they are narcissist. They will use it to play the victim and make you look like a monster and escalate the situation even more

@LisetteDiva

8 ай бұрын

OMG soooo damn true!!!!!!

@pengini933

5 ай бұрын

Omg this describes my sibling to a tee!!

I've been doing it wrong for so long. Every time I would react they would seem to glow or get turned on. It's them feeding off of my energy that makes them feel better. Now I'm realizing what their game is, don't react, don't give them pleasure of knowing they've hurt you. Thanks for the clarification.

@StephanieLynCoaching

6 жыл бұрын

Blue Crystal you’re also feeling better because they transfer of their negative energy on to you. That’s right so important to learn how to respond and responding either means walking away and not engaging or Setting a boundary and enforcing a boundary.

@MasterMalrubius

6 жыл бұрын

It took me a long time to understand that getting upset at them just makes them feel powerful and in control. It wasn't until I had enough and quit reaching out to her that she decided to try coming around again. I saw the same response from her each time. Act normally, apologize when that didn't work, if it did then go back to abuse, if it didn't work wait and retry again. Best thing to do is to avoid them and if confronted by them just stay calm. If they say something rude or crazy just say "If you feel that way." and then make sure you tell them you don't have time to talk and move on.

@StephanieLynCoaching

6 жыл бұрын

Andrew Boehmer 🙌

@mimishkaz

5 жыл бұрын

I also once read: "Confused people attract confused people." This really made me own up to my own codependency that attracted the narcissist in my life. Then when I started to be healthier, I attracted healthier people. Although ofc there are people who are like leeches anyway... biggest lesson of my life tbh.

@iamblessed3539

5 жыл бұрын

YESS!!❤

Standing up for yourself can be tiring at many times, the mental and emotional exhaustion that they drive you to.

I have been dealing with a manipulative SO. At first the only thing I knew how to do was to just stonewall so as to not react, but I have been getting better at listening and not reacting or getting angry. She will constantly reflect and try to push buttons while asking if I am getting angry, and I finally understand why.

In my experience the best response to negativity is to simply say "thank you" and move on. And of course you will be "tried" again and again. Just respond again with the same "thank you" until they give up and move on themselves or the negativity dissipates. Any reaction only fuels their fire. One caveat here: make certain you are not actually the narc in denial.

Being with a narcissist and going through abuse is God forcing us to learn how to love ourselves.they are not going to do that for you.its a blessing in disguise but you can get through it.💪💪💪I love you all. You can do this

@mirrorman1156

3 жыл бұрын

That's exactly how I looked at it. I didn't value myself enough!

@shanieceutsey7228

3 жыл бұрын

That was beautiful, from one Shaniece to another.

@shaniecegullison

3 жыл бұрын

@@shanieceutsey7228 awee thanks so much. XOXOXO

@evka24

3 жыл бұрын

very interesting angle....agree with it

@faviolafikir2181

3 жыл бұрын

So insightful!

Screw disarming them. Just stay the hell away, and keep them out of your life!

@deborahemx2

5 жыл бұрын

Amen

@kingg213

5 жыл бұрын

@@deborahemx2 Yup!!

@joannasaad298

5 жыл бұрын

Sometimes it’s your inlaws that your husband wants to stay in contact with or your coworker or boss. Can’t run from everyone.

@guillaumefrancois3942

5 жыл бұрын

@@joannasaad298, true. It's noy always easy.

@curlytopkitty2468

4 жыл бұрын

Amen to that!❤

My experiences with the narcissist husband makes me realized he cracks joke , make fun of me , degrading , embarrassing, or insulting me just wanted to see me in shucked ,speechless , and emotionally in pain reaction-to his behavior , I can see it just like drugs to a drug user, I believe he uses my reaction as his supplies, the more I feel sad and in pain the more he enjoys and happy. I have learned and know better now. Thank you for Stephanie ‘s Film and all of your comments . 💗

I lived with a narcissist for 14 years. He almost killed me mentally and emotionally but I refused to let him kill my soul. It’s very difficult to be in that marriage and painful to be out of it because he could not accept defeat so the more he became meaner and vindictive. I thank my own family, my children and most of all, I praise and thank God for all the love and healing. Thank you Stephanie for sharing your expertise. God bless you always for all your helpful counseling vlogs.

I hate when you respond with no emotion and they assume you’re accepting what they say 😑

@LanaiahTaylor

2 жыл бұрын

That’s just our own overthinking. Don’t assume they’re accepting. Enforce boundaries, respond or leave. Don’t accept what they say.

@shellflynn2517

2 жыл бұрын

Bye Felicia

@andreaberryman5354

2 жыл бұрын

Let them think what they will. Go ahead-BE their a**hat, their stalker, their (in my son's case) loser, their liar, their cheater, their (in my case) drunk, their this, their that.

@mistymiller7775

2 жыл бұрын

Ah.. you have no response to that... "I'm right, god damn it I'm right!!!" .. with that evil grin... Me thinking... No.. your not, I'm just shutting down and done entertaining your wackadoo for the 1000th time.

@juliaannegrider5734

2 жыл бұрын

My husband screams at me if I say something and when I don't.

My soon to be ex husband has the emotional maturity of a 3 yr old

@charlenesomers1172

3 жыл бұрын

So does mine!

@lilac624

2 жыл бұрын

I am sorry to know that. My childhood was very very traumatic because of my narc mother and aunt.

I grew up under a covert narcissistic father. As a young adult I had Idea what I was dealing with. Ended up marrying a narcissist that was by no means covert. I was stuck in that marriage 5 years left 5 times went back, even left for a full year, was fooled by him that he went into a program to get help but as soon as I took him back he left the program. After another 1 1/2 years I was just done completely. Because I finally realized he was a narcissist and would never change. After leaving him, I soon realized my dad was also narcissist. I had to learn the hard way, no reaction Infront of my dad. It drives him crazy, when He can not push my buttons or when I ignore him. I would keep my composure until I was away from him. When he could not see me brake down in tears or be agree at what he said. It is hard to hold it together. But it's possible. It takes not only inner strength but self discipline. But if I can learn to do it so can you. My dad is 80 years old now and has never changed. So I know from experience, it's true a narcissist, will never change. Now when he acts up, when I am at his house to take care of him. (As h has no one else to care for him) I say dad, this is unexceptionable, I have to go. He will try to get me to stay. But I leave anyways. My husband's brother also a narcissist, he's caused so much hurt to my husband we had to cut him off. Life is so much more peaceful when you walk away. But if you can't like with my dad. Learned to set boundaries and make them follow your boundaries. When they try to step over the boundaries set, Tell them this is unexceptionable & walk away. They call do not answer.

So so true... as a small child I recognized my parent had narcissistic tenancies, even though I didn't know the theories behind the behaviors. It is so fascinating and amusing (for the wrong reasons) observing this person align themselvs with people they perceive as worthy, at the same time turning everyday interactions into conflicts to achieve some sort of alleged "wins" to settle some kind of internal scorecard! They are offended by a warm summer breeze out of the wrong direction that is inconvenient! Witnessing family members and "friends" bend over backwards over and over and over to temporarily stop disrespectful comments, treatment, and tantruming. Once I learned the term "hollow shell" the picture was complete!

_MISERY LOVES _*_GOOD_*_ COMPANY._ One bad apple in a basket of good apples 🍏 will always rot and destroy all the other apples in the basket. It’s never the opposite.

@mitchtrubisky999

3 жыл бұрын

Thank you for this line

@pattis.1645

2 жыл бұрын

😄 Now, I get it. The Earth is not flat or round. It's just one big basket.

Watching this every morning until it's engrained in my mind and my thinking. Thank you!

@Azizasarry2004

3 жыл бұрын

Honestly same

@christianpulisic7784

2 жыл бұрын

Gabrielle Wieczorek,You look stunning 🌹🌷🌺,hope you are not with a narc 😈!!

@randzTP08

2 жыл бұрын

Same!

That’s sick and twisted unfortunately I didn’t know what narcissism is until now

I have been learning a lot about narcissistic behavior lately, and I am almost positive the dentist I am paired with (as their technician) is a narcissist. I use to be on her good side for the first year I worked beside her, but then out of nowhere she started getting frustrated w me rly easily. I can tell she is feeling insecure and projecting her feelings onto me. She hasn't been taking accountability, and she only wants her side of things to be heard. Looks like i have been reacting properly to her behavior majority of the time. Thank you for this ♡

It's bullying, they love to get a rise out of you and they know you will react. I am learning to create boundaries and hope next time if they say something to me I will respond rather than react or just cut the relationship..

@ritalawson7020

2 жыл бұрын

Cut them off you don’t need these freaks in your life they all use this but we are family thing as an excuse tell them to go away with their nasty face and their spiteful mouth

@MattMussett

Жыл бұрын

Exactly and try to trigger people

My ex of almost 4 years brought out the worst in me. It’s only been a few days since we split, and I’ve been immersing myself in these videos to help me find myself again.

@cazandra_tru1363

2 жыл бұрын

I feel the exact same way.

@denisehoffman2817

2 жыл бұрын

Please be strong stay split if possible!!

@kimgordon3695

2 жыл бұрын

You're on the way! #nurtureYou

I am on a work team of 3 people. BOTH my teammates are TOXIC. I didn't stand up for myself right way and now they walk all over me and are downright rude and unprofessional. I am watching your videos to learn how to CORRECTLY stand up for myself so that I don't risk my job or reputation. Thank you for making these free videos.

Thank you for this; I needed to hear it. Even after studying domestic violence for years, I was still hurt last night and questioning myself after my abusive ex-husband contacted me, gaslighting me. I've had a counselor tell me WHY I was in that relationship, but she didn't tell me how to handle it, in order to fix myself and have peace. I really appreciate it Stephanie.

This took me so long to master. He knew exactly how to trigger me. What I did was I started expecting and got myself ready for him to trigger me. So when he finally blew up and said hurtful words, I was calm about it. I didn’t let him get to me because I already prepared myself by telling myself that whatever he gonna say I know it’s not true. I always feel like he test me. Like he want me to say something hurtful back but it’s just not me.

@TARIQLES

2 жыл бұрын

Then what happened after?

@bryanh257

2 жыл бұрын

@@TARIQLES for me, he cried and said he did his best

Thank you Stephanie. It took me two months after I left my ex husband to quit responding to this type of behavior and that drove him even more nuts. It was the hardest thing I ever did, to quit responding to him. People didn’t understand. They said I shouldn’t let him get to me. They said I have to control the way I react and I knew that; however it was so hard! I had never encountered something like him before so I didn’t see at first what he was doing. Thankfully it’s over now, 3 years later, he has no power over me anymore, not for a long time.

@kennichi89

5 жыл бұрын

are u guys still together or broke up? i cant deal with a narc partner. they will just end up doing things behind your back.

@sheisasurvivor8479

5 жыл бұрын

GoSu done for 3 years now

@leonardoprada7731

5 жыл бұрын

MyOwn ThineOwn 👏🏼

@caucasianafrican1435

5 жыл бұрын

He didn't deserve you :- >

@oscarwilliamson1264

3 жыл бұрын

@@sheisasurvivor8479 you deserve a good man🙏🙏🙏

This video was very therapeutic for me. It definitely helped me see that I need to change how I respond to the toxic people in my circle. ❤️

You’re so right. This is so hard to do, and living in an environment tht supports the narassistic person it makes it just so much harder not to react.

When someone is trying to hurt you, treat them the way you want. Do not cater to them at all.

Wish I had all of this information 45 years ago

@StephanieLynCoaching

5 жыл бұрын

I understand but you have it now to protect yourself 💜

@sherryroberts1821

5 жыл бұрын

A little to late. At 56 just to broken.

@bluecollarlit

5 жыл бұрын

Sherry Roberts you can have a new life of enjoyment. Heal yourself and live positively. You are invited to read my blog: Blue collar lit. No ads, I don't make $$ from it, I post most weekdays. You don't have to comment, just have an iced tea or other refreshment and have fun & inspiration.

@oscarwilliamson1264

3 жыл бұрын

Sherry Roberts,hope you are not with a narc 😈 cause you are too beautiful 🌷🌹🌷🌹🌹🌷🌹

@banker1313

3 жыл бұрын

I hear you.....I'm close to 50 and think....my god how different my life could have been....my best option would have been...love from a distance....but I didn't understand the dynamic back then....

My brother is a narcissist, schizophrenic and has borderline personality disorder (or at the very least all the symptoms) he had a stroke February 2021, and he treats my mother and I, his eldest sister like servants here to do whatever he wants or needs and he is often quite nasty to me or both of us when we're both helping him or to our mother when she is with him and I'm not, but he acts like a decent human being when it's just me because he knows nobody else will take care of him if mom and I cannot. I have found myself reacting far too much to his cruelty...one evening as he was carrying on a forty-five minute tyrade I turned to him and said "Someday when you've mistreated everyone in your family, it will be extremely heartbreaking when you die alone in your hospital bed because you've alienated everyone who ever loved you." His mouth gaped open and then he closed it and looked away "Fuck you, bitch." Yeah well truth hurts don't it! Treat others the way you want to be treated, it's not just a quote, it's a fact of life.

Owning my feeling is such a challenge, because the other person want to take it personally. This is a long journey. Thanks for the video. X

Best comeback to say to someone who says something very hurtful to you, say excuse me I'm not a mirror 😁✌❤

The hardest part of the battle is being ganged up on.

@anotherdimensionalentity1040

4 жыл бұрын

You think it's terrorizing when it is one, but when they recruit others, you feel defeated.

@syldadeal1304

4 жыл бұрын

Hang in there. Find the things that lift you up....get your bag of things lift you up...

@chrissyc2917

4 жыл бұрын

Don’t feel ganged up on it’s just like she said “ a child” it’s just more than one child you have nothing to worry about

@chelseapalmer4501

3 жыл бұрын

😡

@alip7815

3 жыл бұрын

Yes recruiting the bullies, in my experience posting it on fb so everyone feels sorry for them by their smear campaign that you fought back sticking up for yourself they don't see their abuse.

I love watching all your videos, they are helping me through with my broken heart, recognising and understanding abusive behaviour and to stand up and walk away

Yes 🙌 LOVED this video! I have told my son the same thing about bullies since he was a child, but I have continued to be bullied by my mother for years! Bullies (narcissists) are just insecure and miserable, and they always will be. Just as you said we need to know it has nothing do with us-they are acting that way because THEY are so miserable 😩 and have no outlets for it other than tormenting other people! Elderly parents with narcissism are especially hard to deal with. And it just goes through the generations, it is a hard cycle to break, I am a 3rd generation single mother as well. Thank you so much for this video ♥️

@astrialindah2773

Жыл бұрын

It sounds like you are breaking this generational curse! Great job by the way because it will benefit the generations to come.. blessings!

When you hold this standard and not react they keep trying other ways to make you.

Responding instead of reacting , is a sign of emotional maturity. Trying my best to practice the right way to respond properly on situation that really pushing your limits in dealing with an emotionally, psycholigically abusive person. Truly grateful for having the opportunity to watch and learn a lot on improving my self, by loving my self. God bless you more Ms.Stephani, your videos are truly a blessing to me just timely.

Thanks for your messages that only 'hurt people' hurt others. It helps to ease the pain and anxiety when one's being attacked!

I needed to hear every single word. Immediately felt better and relieved. Thank you!!! Already shared and gonna listen to again!

The person who abuses, does so because they get something out of it... They get the attention or the ego stroking or whatever... They are willing to do whatever it takes to get that from you. The best thing you can do for yourself is to disengage. It takes two to be in an abusive relationship... the abuser and the abused. If you aren't one then you are the other.

@PeterKaitlyn

6 жыл бұрын

Why do you say Idiot? Yes someone could be the abused in a relationship & and also be an idiot... listen, I know what you mean, but you are assuming that the abused knows what's happening to them in time to get out. You are also assuming that they haven't been sucked into the relationship through any of the multiple means that abusers use to disguise their abuse... love bombing for one... You also assume that they have the support, both financially, emotionally, or legally... to get out successfully... not to mention children... You are doing what the abusers do and placing the blame on the abused. They aren't idiots, they are caught in abuse, by their abusers. Yes they can choose to get out, but don't always have the means or support to do so easily.

@PeterKaitlyn

6 жыл бұрын

I place the blame on the person who abuses. While I have no reason to know this is a truth about you... you seem to be saying that someone who is abused is just as responsible for that abuse as the abuser. That no matter what the situation an abused person can get out if it... Do you and I live in the same universe...? So, how about the woman with three children, who's mother and pastor tell her she should shut up and be grateful she has a man who supports her... who also beats her... who also abuses the kids... Or, who lives in a community that doesn't believe her, or when she does try to leave, has her family do everything they can to stop her...? Or tells her that it's gods will that she should obey her husband, no matter what. Not to mention that she works and her husband takes her check and mostly uses the money to buy beers for his friends or drinks till he's too drunk to stand, then beats her senseless because he trips coming in the house... Is she to blame? What an odd view you have on abuse.

@PeterKaitlyn

6 жыл бұрын

I"m glad you aren't in a relationship with me. I doubt I could survive it. Blame the victim is the classic excuse of the abuser.

@PeterKaitlyn

6 жыл бұрын

Okay.

@bluecollarlit

5 жыл бұрын

This thread not helpful

You're absolutely right Stephanie! It's a reflection of themselves, my sister is a narcissist and i believe that she doesn't have self-love, she is always looking for ways to hurt the next person, negative, abusive, a liar,conniving, causes divisions, completely poisonous like a snake. You are spot on!

@candacemoore9934

2 жыл бұрын

My sister is too! Hate her

It's crazy how I found your video about 2 years ago about boundaries and you helped me so much. You helped me become so much more aware of who I wasn't and who I needed to be ever since I found that video, I've become such a stronger individual and you always say such amazing and eye-opening things when I need to hear it most. I love you girl!

Literally your tips are saving my life. I had to deal a lot with my brother in the past years and as I told him I was feeling sad and hurt about what he was saying to me, he never understood that. Leaving the situation is the best option to do. We only can decide what we can do, not how the other people should behave

If you are weak, want to move on and regain your serenity, go no contact.

I happened to stumble upon this channel while I was desperately looking for help. It’s hard for an empath to come to terms with their life experience. Empaths, given their nature and outlook to people. They constantly are looking at their own flaws and go on a journey of sled sabotage. Thank you for the amazing work put together.

I wish I could express the extent of how much by just listening to you coaching this has helped and validate me. I truly need to work on this specific aspect, and my self worth. My emotional reaction is magnified, because not only am I just an emotional being like most of us humans, but i also suffer primary and secondary ptsd which triggers extreme reactions. It's so HARD, but I feel that you have given me hope and the tools to practice and start protecting myself. For that, I thank you 1000 x over!

I needed this video today. A former mate is coming to stay with my family for a week. Our friendship stalled out years ago. He’s a bit of a jerk who loves to mess with people. Much of this was garnered in therapy, but I needed this pep talk today. Thank you ❤️

Such good advice, don't engage in a power struggle with someone who is verbally abusive and narcissistic.

I love your compassionate approach. There are some evil narcissistic people, but for the most part , yes, they are simply unable to contain their pain, and trying to get some relief. When you don’t have buttons, they can’t be pushed. It’s worth the work to remove them. Sometimes, I don’t think it’s worth the time and effort to confront them in some cases. Each situation and person is different.

@halli7326

5 жыл бұрын

Trisha Whitehouse I'm learning to just keep my mouth shut so when I do what I need to do for me I don't feel bad for them at all especially when they don't want to hear you anyway. Theres no getting through to them, I'm glad I'm strong now.

I just found your channel & what perfect timing & a blessing! I go to therapy & feel like you are hitting on all of the points I needed to hear. I love my therapist & appreciate her... but it's shocking how much your words are hitting home with me & getting straight to the point. Thank you for what you do!

A protective bubble is such a strong protection....Great lesson that we need to learn.

The person who was "suffering inside" whom I worked with got a lot of glee out of trying to push my buttons put some hurt on me, when I didnt take the bait and ignored their attempts to upset me and I even stayed friendly and polite they used smear tactics to turn others against me and brought the confrontation to me, shouting and accusing me of not doing my work, I stayed calm, I did not get involved in a shouting match. I still had to leave a job I liked because the person who was "hurting inside" made it their business to "destroy" me because they get their kicks from doing it. They will use their charm for the right people and if they want you gone, no matter how you react or respond they will set up a situation to get you gone,if it didnt work one week the following week they will try again. ,Dont think "hurting inside" .Think dangerous, vindictive, duplicitous, scheming nasty minded and mean spirited whom gets contentment from making others suffer, even if its just slightly, its like a little hit of cocaine for them and they'll come back for more once they know which buttons to push.

@ExtraordinaryLiving

6 жыл бұрын

Yes, unfortunately, there *ARE* these kinds of people in the world ... sighhhhh ....

@CMM726

5 жыл бұрын

Absolutely. Sometimes the best thing is to leave a job where you have someone that evil and abusive. Other times you can deal with the situation. Sometimes when lies get back to me that a narc has spread i simply remain calm and say "consider the source." I have my own integrity and my behavior speaks for itself. I don't need to defend myself against bullshit lies and accusations. Sometimes you have to address a situation but often times that makes the lies seem even more true. Watch your back around those people. Let them know you got your eye on them but without words. So many things can be said non verbally.

@lavonne812

5 жыл бұрын

These things happen to the best people unfortunately. Eventually, the truth will come out and you will be vindicated. Hang tough and enjoy your life. Pray hard and God moves in mysterious ways behind the scenes. It may take time, but good stuff will happen. Just wait.

@joannamonique707

5 жыл бұрын

They're still "hurting people." But I agree that we can not underestimate the amount of evil shit hurt people will do

@pault9544

4 жыл бұрын

I can tell you that being raised by a covert narc, sustaining almost 30 years of narc abuse and having dealt with multiple narc bosses, these people never admit to their wrong doing. More often than not people who are suffering inside will make some cry for help. That's never the case for these people. They don't want to change. Someone who strategically shapeshifts to avoid being detected knows EXACTLY what they're doing. At the end of the day, we all have a free will to choose the person we want to be. I don't feel bad for people who choose to be assholes.

Hurt people hurt people.

@jamesmcmccray8255

5 жыл бұрын

Emma Ronan straight up

@emaambition9378

5 жыл бұрын

Emma Ronan It’s sad but true.

I’m so grateful to have found this channel. It’s really helping me with my new boss at work. Thank you.

You are so smart Stephanie! You’ve helped me through a narcissistic boss & roommate! ❤️