"You're actually a great mom who raised 3 babies in your tummy with deep love." Just heartbreaking. Very painful to even imagine. She's a strong lady and I hope she continues to heal.

My wife and I suffered a miscarriage earlier this year. My heart goes out to those poor people. God bless them, I hope they have a successful pregnancy soon. She is not worthless or bad. She is human. My wife felt like she had failed and seeing babies made her sad when it used to make her happy. My wife is the best person I know. Tell her she is a good person and to have hope.

@orbatos

3 жыл бұрын

I hope you are able to get through this. I have known someone with recurrent miscarriage and after two it was too painful to keep trying.

@awesomemccoolname7111

3 жыл бұрын

@@orbatos oh, im sorry. To be clear we have only had one. I didn’t mean to insinuate we know what its like to have multiple miscarriages. It was our first pregnancy though and it was difficult. I cant imagine going through it 2 or 3 times in a year. And im very sorry for your friend. I hope they find a way to make a family.

@orbatos

3 жыл бұрын

@@awesomemccoolname7111I did not think you were, and truly hope you have the success you desire. Even one time is emotionally draining for the whole family, but women can be traumatized depending on their personality and upbringing. It is important to remember that, as his friend mentions, miscarriages are actually common but that is not taught and the social and emotional fallout from this can be significant trauma.

@awesomemccoolname7111

3 жыл бұрын

@@orbatos so true. So sad but so true. Also, thank you.

@zenko_artz2675

3 жыл бұрын

Of course that doesn't mean she's worthless or any crap like that. She had her own quslities that make her great, miscarriages or not. You guys keep trying and have hope. Remember, negativity never helped anything!

This is such a rare topic that people tend to ignore it altogether. But it is heartbreaking to see someone going through such mental trauma and this topic should be discussed openly to make the ladies/men share their trauma and to cope from it. Great work Nobita. Your content is getting diverse day by day and it shows in every video how much effort you put into them. Please keep up the good work, I wish that your channel grow tremendously. 😊

@caileighgouthro1365

3 жыл бұрын

This also happens here in Canada 🇨🇦 too.

@avijitsharma5050

3 жыл бұрын

I can't understand what he is saying

@AnshuSingh-sy4mt

3 жыл бұрын

@@avijitsharma5050 turn on the subtitles

It's very important, that women can talk about this and that they are heard! Thank you Nobita!

@chatgpt4135

8 ай бұрын

In olden days, women were just seen as 'Machines or body slaves' whose womb was exploited by men to make 'Male child' as a human resource to carry out 'Political institution of Manmade patriarchal society' for man's welfare. Now , imagine if a icecream machine does not leak icecream in cone, you would kick it in anger or replace it with new one, cos 'YOU ARE TREATING IT AS AN OBJECT TO BE USED ONE-SIDEDLY FOR MAKING MONEY VIA ICECREAMS.', but here 'Live human beings of female sex were objectified and enslaved by man because of their 'Capability to grow humans in womb' and giving a 'Human resource alive' to man to run society was her success as a baby making machines, and hence 'IF Child is not ejected out of womb i.e. IF IT WAS MISCARRIED, they would treat the woman as 'DEFECTIVE MACHINE' that needs harsh treatmwnt, to be kicked or replaced by a new womb machine (in form of new wife or mistress) to make 'Sons as heirs' . And if a baby was born out successfully full term, the machine was 'EXPLOITED' more to create more human resource. Hence, there are still cultures who 'HIDE PREGNANCIES of women' until birth occurs, cos they see miscarriage as 'FAILURE OF INAnIMATE MACHINE CALLED WIFE' and do not want to feel shameful of 'FAILURE' of having a defective piece at home. The taboo of 1ST TRIMESTER and taboo of all 9 months gestation in African tribes relfect such ideology. Women die due to excessive bleeding , etc.cos of taboos of pregnancies, and maternal mortalities lie in misogyny of human societies rather than biology

I really feel for these women. My mom had 5 miscarriages before me.

@mahdiyussuf9804

3 жыл бұрын

Cherish your mom!

@marica6776

3 жыл бұрын

pkmnrgby 9698 I’m sorry to hear that, but I’m glad you made it! I was a twin too. Same thing where it was too early to find out the gender

@xXDESTINYMBXx

3 жыл бұрын

@pkmnrgby 9698 same here, they didn't tell me until I was like 16

@Afmedic85

3 жыл бұрын

I had 2 and was ready to give up. Especially considering after the 2nd one my mom and husband criticized me for being upset about it a week after.

@morganleafe3152

3 жыл бұрын

Lucky fucker lol

I really hope Asca and her husband can conceive a baby soon. They have been through so much. Just hearing Asca being so depressed she tried to end her own life just broke my hear.t

Thinking that some people say to those women that they are to blame for a miscarriage makes me feel so mad.

@TheSlipperyNUwUdle

3 жыл бұрын

I feel like Japan of all places would be amplified in that issue. It’s still a fairly conservative nation. A great country but no nation is perfect. They have their problems too. 😞

@yohanas.k5086

3 жыл бұрын

It's quite normal in Asian countries. I too was blamed for having an autistic child. "It must be the mother..." stuff like that, is quite normal. Its hard to ignore at first, but you'll get used to it and learn to choose who to hear and who to trust. I had 4 miscarriages, each time I heard the same thing over, it hurt less after awhile. "It wasnt a baby yet, you didn't take care enough, at least it died in your belly not in your arms"

@LadyMontane

3 жыл бұрын

There is a cognitive bias called "just world fallacy". This bias is the reason victim blaming (especially rape victims) exists, and I suppose it is also the reason for people blaming the mother for a miscarriage, thus implying that she, and other people by proxy, themselves included, has/have a level of control over this happening - a bad thing happened to her because she probably has done something bad! In a way, it's a method of comforting oneself that this bad thing in no way is going to happen to you and/or your loved ones, because unlike these women, they are good people, and their "just world fallacy" guarantees their security. Humans do be like that.

@lily5952

3 жыл бұрын

@@LadyMontane This makes so much sense. I've noticed this sort of human behaviour as well, just didn't know there was a name for it. I think that's also why rituals came to be within human society, we feel that we can pre-empt certain events if we do something with purpose.

I haven't even had a baby but I cried watching this 😭 Thanks for the documentary Nobita!

My sincerest condolences to all the women who have had miscarriages.

@caileighgouthro1365

3 жыл бұрын

🙏 thanks shiny arceus

@tapuchris3329

3 жыл бұрын

@@caileighgouthro1365 You're welcome

'Even after they died, you still care about them and cry for them like this. I dont often see a mom like you who loves her children so deeply.' That is the kindest thing you could ever say to that mom.

Most women are pretty open about miscarriage in the United States. It's much better to talk about your sadness than keeping it inside, I think.

@cyx0713

3 жыл бұрын

I agree, but Japan doesn't have the same type of openness that the US has... It's going to be a long time before Japan can talk about it, but I believe that one day that time will come :)

@mustang3429

3 жыл бұрын

@@cyx0713 yeah Japan is still really old fashioned , 30 years ago in the US talking about your feelings was laughed upon but now it's very open-minded and nobody minds talking about it , Japan is living it the same way the US did 30 years ago

@Afmedic85

3 жыл бұрын

The US has support groups, they probably don't exist in Japan

This video is so needed! We had a neighbor who misscarried a child at 20 weeks. We were not extremely close but we, along with many other families, came together, provided meals and offered prayers and a listening ear to help support the family. I believe that if more people shared their trouble with others it would help them. Pain shared is pain divided, and joy shared is joy multiplied. Thank you Nobita!

While I've never miscarried, I have a lot of friends who have. Many of them have come out about it to help make it a less taboo topic. Did/can you make a video about adoption in Japan? We brought our son home via adoption last October. When I'm out and about (we live in Tokyo) Japanese people sometimes ask me how I met my Japanese husband. When they learn we're both white and our son is adopted, we get confused looks. I know adoption happens in Japan but all of the adoptive families I know in Japan have adopted from abroad.

There's a clear need for education, communication, understanding, and empathy. Hopefully things can open up more between people in the future and testing and research can help find why this happens and what can help. I had no idea this was happening, so I thank you for your video.

@JHMninja89

3 жыл бұрын

1: Late pregnancies: Look at the chart of failed pregnancies by age. Women reach peak fertility at 22. And rate of miscarriages increase afterward, with miscarriage rates skyrocketing after 27. Furthermore, women lose 90% of their eggs by the time they hit 30. Hence, not only is it harder to successfully give just a single birth, but also harder to have more children subsequently (i.e. harder to exceed 2.33 children/woman). Btw, children born from late pregnancies have a much higher chance to develop for example, autism. 2: Lifestyle: Japan has a stressful worklife. And given that Japan has 2-income households (meaning that both parents work), the effects of stress on the pregnant also increases miscarriage.

Nobita great job bro

This really needs to be taught in schools and not just ‘left to the parents.’ Knowing about reproduction, pregnancy, and women and men’s bodies is important to make us grow as a people. Miscarriages are so common yet women are wracked with guilt because there is so little education about pregnancy. I highly recommend Mama Doctor Jones’s channel. She’s an OBGYN with 5 kids so she knows her stuff and talks about a lot of these subjects openly. Please check her out!

結婚は？から始まり 結婚していれば→子供は？ 1人目を生んだ後→2人目は？一人っ子は可哀想 ほっとけ( ﾟдﾟ) ､ﾍﾟｯ 相手に悪意はなくても傷付く言葉は沢山ある。 あまりプライベートなことは聞かないでほしい…

I’m afraid that I’m physically unable to have children, so I act like I never wanted children to begin with. Im afraid that since I am so small, 4”8, that either me or my child wouldn’t survive. I plan on adopting when the time is right, but I am afraid of having this conversation with my future spouse. I can’t get the words out.

@sladejosephwilson2300

3 жыл бұрын

Have you thought about getting a C section?

This is one of those topics that is so rare that if you covered it for the global population it would still be niche. Very interesting, great work Nobita san!

Thanks for making this video Nobita. What everyone in the video said was very eye-opening. Once again, many thanks for all of the interesting and important videos you are making.

昔と比べて、親の援助なども受けにくくなっていますよね… 私も娘がいますが、両親が遠くに住んでいるため、大変な時は多いです💦

Thank you so much for sharing this, Nobita. This feeling, I believe, is international. I am American, and I have had 6 miscarriages, that doctors still cannot explain. There are very few people who know about this around me. It’s hard to find anyone to talk to who can relate. It’s even harder for my husband to talk about it, even though I know our losses have deeply saddened him too. He hides it.. I have seen him cry about it too, though he tried hiding it from me in another room. I too faced a horrible state of depression. Suicide attempts. Therapy. The experience you shared today sounded exactly like mine, just in a different language. Miscarriage and depression is a worldwide problem. I think in the USA, the miscarriage rates are even higher than in Japan (20%-25% chance of miscarriage), yet we don’t talk about it either and we definitely do not understand. It’s so important to help families know that they are not alone in their struggles. Thank you for sharing this, and thank you to everyone who participated in your interviews.

It makes me really sad to see these women blaming themselves and feeling so bad for something totally out of their control.

Because Japan economy has been unstable since the 90s with the price of living and labor hours at very high rates that why there are many suicides a year due to stress and pressure I had a friend living there for five years and he and his wife struggling to raise a family due to work and not spending enough time together

@UsiUsiUsi

3 жыл бұрын

Stress surely is a trigger but like it was stated in the video, they don't know why it happens. I have a colleague who lost 3 children with her husband until they found out they are genetical problematic. When she got sick in her pregnancy her body decided the fetus an foreign intruder and aborted it for her own safety even though it was once just a common cold.

Another home-run of a video. Got me crying here Nobita, keep up the good work.

hats off to those brave people who worked with you and discussed their stories. lots of respect for them for stepping forward.

I am a retired US physician (psychiatry). TY for covering this subject. This saddens me the women in your country blame themselves for biological errors (often this is the cause of the miscarriage). Hopefully this video will help many.

What an excellent video Nobita. Such a sad topic but handled with respect. I do hope men and women in Japan open up more on this issue and help each other to deal with the sadness. Love to my Japanese cousins, especially those fighting depression.

Thank you for making this video. Repeated miscarriages is a problem issue in my family and my tribe. It is good to be able to share this video so people can know that it is not just a issue here, but all over the world.

I can't even imagine the pain they have gone through... when ASCA repeated her doctor's words I couldn't help but tear up... I hope these women get all the support, love and care they deserve! thanks for such a great video Nobita!

Recurrent miscarriage is so disturbingly cruel that I cannot even bear to imagine the sufferings that these ladies must have gone through.

i had miscarriage last year ended 5 weeks and half,. This time my body missed the miscarriage the baby stopped growing at 6 weeks and half while i am sitting at 11 weeks it is still inside of me. I have to take pill or get surgery to remove it since pregnancy is not viable. It happens alot more than people want to talk about it. People only share good news so growing up i thought pregnancy = birng home a baby. It is not easy. It is not even that easy to get pregnant. have a time frame where you ovulate to conceive usually 3 days in the whole month. tbh I am scared to have another ms next time there is nth the doctor can really do. It is quite emotional wish more women share their failure instead just success. My cousin's 8 miscarriages helped me a lot she eventually did give birth to an healthy boy after almost 7 years of trying. I didn't know my other cousin had 4 miscarriages because she never mention it I thought hes always just had kids. After sharing my own miscarriage i realize most people around me at least had once or twice. Btw my own ogybn has had 3 miscarriage . first thing every doctor told me including my cousin it is NOT YOUR FAULT. THERE IS NTH YOU COULD HAVE DONE. stop blaming women and telling them they didn't take care of themselves seriously fuck off. The chance of miscarriage is really high esp in early pregnancy. it could be women's egg due to rng or bad sperm that has entered. It is totally random for most of the miscarriage.

In the civilised world, many talk about genetic testing, but very few actually know how to get it done properly for each specific purpose - that should change, fast. Knowledge is power and helps reduce sadness / depression, too.

@louisa1514

3 жыл бұрын

Genetic testing for what? Diseases? In the civilised world that's a controversial and morally dubious topic. It's also not relevant to this video because miscarriages are incredibly common within the first trimester. That's why many people choose not to reveal a pregnancy until after the first trimester has passed, just in case the miscarriage happens without warning.

A Japanese friend of mine had a miscarriage and was diagnosed with endometriosis but persisted with IVF and after 4 cycles now has a beautiful little boy called Kenshi.

Its really not fair that people who don't love their partner or care about their children have babies and then treat them badly when there are so many loving parents who desperately just want to raise one child together. I hope asca gets her miracle baby :(

You deserve more subscribers Mr. Nobita, you’re telling the truth that many don’t even dare to mention, bless you good sir.

Very interesting video Nobita, as always great work!

Thank you for speaking on this topic. It was very informative!

I didn't know about this actually...

@Eldinarcus

3 жыл бұрын

the video came out 30 seconds ago, how could you know?

@williamshakespeare9424

3 жыл бұрын

@@Eldinarcus Magic, my friend.

@gvi341984

3 жыл бұрын

Blame the absent Japanese men who rather 70hrs

Great video to help people overcome bad times. Look on the bright side, it's always better.

Thank you for always having an interesting variety of topics on your channel and bringing awareness to important issues.

I want to hug! My mom experienced it. It was awful. I’m pretty sure they did the best they can do to care their child. Sometimes it can be spontaneous. My mom would want to talk to them about her experience and probably tell them it’s not their fault as they did the very best they could do. Although to be honest, I am very surprised that the sex ed is either poor or nonexistent in Japan....

@JHMninja89

3 жыл бұрын

The Japanese are not aware that women reach peak fertility at 22. And rate of miscarriages increase afterward, with miscarriage rates skyrocketing after 27. Furthermore, women lose 90% of their eggs by the time they hit 30, and almost all by 40. Hence, not only is it harder to successfully give just a single birth, but also harder to have more children subsequently (i.e. harder to exceed 2.33 children/woman). Children born from late pregnancies also have a much higher chance to develop for example, autism.

これは大きな問題です...

Just wanna say.....NOBITA YOURE THE MASTER OF DOCUMENTRYS YOURE AWEEESSSOME THANKS ALOT FOR ALLL DIS INFORMATION!!! respect you dude

Just wanted to voice my support for these people.

I know it's hard for men to fully understand the heartbreak of miscarriage. You covered it with the sensitivity it deserves. But you were mentioning the demographic thing, is adoption a thing in Japan? 🤔

@j.kaimori3848

3 жыл бұрын

His video on child abuse and foster care pretty much says it's not a thing.

That must be so hard for the couple. I can't imagine. Amazing work once again !!!

This made me so sad, poor woman. Miscarriage is so so sooo common we should really make it less stigmatized. I myself have gone though a stillbirth and felt like I couldn’t tell anyone. Actually, talking about it still makes me uncomfortable, but if reading this helps someone who has gone through the same thing than I am more than willing to let them know they aren’t alone. ❤️

@Pyjama_Shark

3 жыл бұрын

I'm rooting for all us women... Fighting!!!!✊✊✊

この談話は悲しくてむずかしかった。 感じに気を付けってください。

@annaployglotgirl123

3 жыл бұрын

どういう意味ですか？ すごく大事な話題ですけど

In Japan everything that's out of the ordinary seems to cause a bunch of unnecessary problems andnobody is able to deal with them. Japanese people seem extremely naive and sheltered from the real world, at least that's my impression the longer i watch these video's.

great video! that couple was quite amazing

Your videos are so heartfelt, considerate and informative. Clearly you are a man on a mission. Keep it up 💪.

You should've also mentioned that 15% is not really out of the ordinary... Just read Wikipedia, it's not like Japan is an anomaly

@gta4haterhq

3 жыл бұрын

Its as if it was an anatomical problem.

This is an absolutely important topic and a very informative video!! Thank you Nobita! Husbands are responsible of the wives' well-being when they suffer in Recurrent Miscarriages. Husbands do feel the pain and depression but the wives suffer three times what the husbands do because she's the one carrying the fetus, not them!!!

Excellent video, topic of substance. Topic suggestion: Child adoption in Japan.

Nobito doing good work by spreading awareness. Keep it up!

“Attachment is the source of all suffering” - Buddha

I am happy to see this kind of video. Thank you

You are doing a great job bringing content like this to the forefront. Keep up the good work! Heart goes out for those women who blame themselves. It's not their fault!

This is quite depressing for the strong hearted women of Japan, i pray for hope of the women who are suffering fuikushō to find happiness once more in life to have a child.

@59_chise

3 жыл бұрын

Amen. 😔🙏

I think less stress on woman in there society would go a long way to helping. There society ( as with most) are not set up for working mothers. My mother had 7 miscarriages between my brother and I. Mostly because of the stress on working mothers in the late 70's-80's. My mother was expected to do/ be everything to everyone.

@JHMninja89

3 жыл бұрын

Traditional roles are best. Our ancestors knew this.

@UsiUsiUsi

3 жыл бұрын

@@JHMninja89 Our ancestors lost a lot of their children to chickenpox and other ailments. Some of them were pregnant more often they were not. Many women died in childbed. They knew nothing!

@JHMninja89

3 жыл бұрын

@@UsiUsiUsi And yet our ancestors had better fertility than us. Look at Japan, it has a birthrate of 1.43 (way below replacement). 1 in 6 pregnancies fail. Age of first birth is 30.1. Modern Japan is failing reproductively compared to their ancestors.

@UsiUsiUsi

3 жыл бұрын

@@JHMninja89 So what? That is your reason for real? Women always worked hard through all periods of times. It is relatively new that we common folk have the luxury to stay at home. There is so much research and studies about birthrates and they say "it is complicated" but you solved it just now. Congrats!

@JHMninja89

3 жыл бұрын

@@UsiUsiUsi You haven't refuted my point. All I hear is bickering. It is statistically factual that modern Japanese are failing reproductively.

Stop making me cry Nobita. 😢😭

NOBITA San u r very hardworking person I appreciate your work ❤️❤️🙏🙏 it's 4:50 in Japan u wake up so early 👍🙏🙏

I felt really sad knowing what all those women and men had to go through. I was lucky to have really good sex-education through my local schooling- a lot of the facts presented in this video were known to me. A miscarriage is already heartbreaking enough on its own. I can only imagine how difficult it would be with so much taboo and misconceptions surrounding the issue.

Excellent reporting! I'm impressed with all the content you've covered on your channel! I really feel like I'm learning a lot about Japan. I subscribed and I hope to visit Japan someday ^_^

I feel like this is the time for a Dr House but sadly, we don’t have that

I'm sorry for Asca-san, she's been through tough times:" I believe one day miracle will come. you and your husband will make it. because I ever met a family that has the same case as yours, and they made it after many times and patience. I wish much happiness and miracle comes for you and your husband.

@JHMninja89

3 жыл бұрын

The should try test-tube.

Thank you Nobita san

Wish Japan would fix this. It is really sad and something that needs to culturally changed to help them.

Nobita, you continue to do good work. there are environmental factors that effect the parents dna and thusly their potential offspring. there are explanations, consoling words, but compassion gained from greater awareness and understanding may be the greatest gift. shared silence is seldom the best answer.

She did not 'murder her baby 3 times'. Unfortunately things like a miscarriage happens. It's sad, demoralizing and it hurts psychologically. My mother had them as well, I would have had 4 brothers (twin included). My idea is that if you try to start a family together, stick together and even in tough times support each other. You started it together, then whether you get lucky by getting a healthy baby or having miscarriages doesn't matter. Help each other out, support each other. Show love to each other (no, sex isn't love. Get over yourself) You chose each other for a reason, don't let that reason go to waste because having children doesn't work out the way you planned. It could just mean that your body isn't ready yet, keep trying and it may show success. If you don't try, you failed already. If you don't try again, you failed. If you keep trying you at least fight for a successful outcome. For the "I am too old" story, there are women that have kids after they reached the 50 years age line. The oldest woman to have a child seems to be 74. Please ladies, don't let old stories ruin your life. You are well worth it and you are not to blame. Many of the bad things that you can think about are not done in Japan, drugs are simply forbidden, the majority of women know they shouldn't drink alcohol or smoke. I have a feeling all Japanese women know they shouldn't be doing things the doctor told them not to do, or for example fly when you are clearly not allowed to board. So far I am aware, most Japanese women make sure they keep relatively quiet and stay home specially at the end of their pregnancy. That means you are not to blame for anything going wrong. I would strongly agree that sexual education does need to be added to any school by default. This to stop problems from happening and making young people aware of what really is going on. I know Japan is rather touchy on subjects like this, but it might be mandatory for the government to add it as a law. A law that pretty much states that every student starting from age 12 should have sexual education, no exceptions. The initial classes may need to have boys and girls separated, this to learn the basics without the other trying to be funny or trying to show how insecure they are. Something that would also help is showing that is really isn't something that should be taboo. If you can't learn about it, you can not prepare for it. Boys and girls also should have classes together after the basics to really show you are in to this together. Also it would give both sides the perspective of the other so helping and supporting each other will really help a lot more. Great video Nobita! A much needed topic!

@germangonzales2008

3 жыл бұрын

People like you are the type I hate most to be honest. You think if you just do your best anything is possible don't you? I know your heart is in the right place, but a woman's trauma is not something to throw 3 idealistic paragraphs at as if it were so simple. As if to expect A Japanese woman would read this and go "Ohhhh why didn't I think of this sooner?" Like it or not a woman's miscarriage IS her fault, I know that sounds cruel, but its even crueler to tell a woman, "ehhh it happens. NOT your fault." Women are perceptive, they can tell when they're being coddled. A woman is not a little girl. "Get over yourself" - you

All the wife that through this must be feel depressed and pressured. All the mans who already become a husband or any mans that going to be a husband, need to give support and keep encourage our wife if something like this ever happens in our life. I realize that every mans will feels devastated and stressed out if something like this ever happened to their wife, but you have to be strong for her and cheer her up, because wife take it harder than man. They are the one who carried the baby in their womb after all and if this ever happened, they will blame themselves more than you and there's always a possibility that woman will think to take their own lives so her husband can go married another woman to have a child of his own. I am not saying that a man doesn't have the rights to feel depressed, stressed, or pressured if something like this ever happens, but if you show your weakness side on this matter to your wife, she will blame herself more.

Such an important topic. While I think there is more awareness of miscarriages in the US, for example, not all women find it easy to talk about. A lot of what those mother's said, feelings of failure, the "what did I do wrong?" are felt by every woman who has ever experienced a miscarriage. I also applaud that you included some about the fathers. It impacts the whole family. This video also sparked a different question in my mind. What do Japanese think of adoption? Not that adopting is a solution at all to miscarriages. It's a completely separate topic in my mind, but I am curious.

The social pressure is the heaviest factor for then to feel so bad. If it would be just because they are getting to an age where pregnancy is less likely, you have biological pressure but that type of depression is often related to social anxiety of failure a task : being someone who gives birth as per what is expected.

@vidard9863

3 жыл бұрын

No, these people lost their children. The death of a child causes depression with or without social pressure.

@JHMninja89

3 жыл бұрын

The pressure on women to work just like men is terrible. We should be comfortable following our instincts, and the government and culture ought to facilitate that comfort.

@NC-ns5se

3 жыл бұрын

Vidar D true, but social pressure could make that pain so much worse.

@vidard9863

3 жыл бұрын

@@NC-ns5se could, but does it, and can it be made better? I missed the interview with anyone who actually blamed someone other than themselves for the miscarriage. So we are not talking about social pressure punishing the women/husbands for it, we are talking about personal guilt, just like every paramedic, you ALWAYS feel bad about the ones you couldn't save, even when categorically it is not your fault, that is just part of not being a sociopath. Sure, a lot of times people die in car accidents, but maybe if you drove a little bit faster you might have saved them, sure there are plenty of miscarriages, but maybe if you took better care of yourself... It doesn't matter, when your child dies you will blame yourself. So social pressure is realistically a non factor, but can it be made worse on accident? Obviously you don't want to spread the message that miscarriages are the most likely result, or encourage women to miscarriage, because frankly even miscarriages are not good for women's health so obviously you don't want women intentionally miscarriaging to get public attention, and it pays financially for women to take care of pregnancies rather than have relatively disabled children, so you don't want women not bothering to take care of themselves because it will probably be a miscarriage anyways... So then social pressure is neutral, and it could be made worse, can it be made better? Obviously part of the problem is that the Japanese have a birth rate problem, which means that even healthy pregnancies are not that common. Logically then if pregnancies were made more common, then miscarriages would also be more common, and a more accepted part of life, as it was a hundred years ago when the average Japanese woman had something like four children. This however is where solutions stop. There are reasons why they haven't fixed their own birth rates. One of those reasons is that I would be considered a monster if I were to suggest that social pressure could be used to encourage women to get married, have children young, and raise them before going off to college and working on their careers for the second half of their lives, and as long as we cannot have honest conversations about solutions we cannot find solutions. As it stands right now I assume that the Japanese obgyn's have the contact for the support groups to give to their patients, and we cannot do much if the patients don't follow up.

man, your channel is pretty good, an actual point of view of the japanese society from an insider and not a otaku. keep it up :), greetings from argentina

Thank you, Nobita

Your content is always so informative ???:)

10:04 Wow... this woman made me cry... good luck to her keep recovering

My aunt had a baby who died in 1968 and my sister lived for 3 months in 1971 when I was 2 years old. My aunt spoke about it years later, but I rarely ever heard my mother talk about it. Once when I was 10 a woman was talking to my mom and she said she had a daughter who passed away and my mom said that she had, as well. That was the first time I’d heard it talked about. It really was a ‘this happened and we shall never speak of it again’ issue. Which is very sad. Death is part of life and to not be able to talk about it doesn’t help anyone. I’m glad those ladies heard some kind words that helped them overcome their sadness somewhat. They ARE loving mothers, even if the children only exist in their hearts.

My mother had two miscarriages and she let me know about it already back when I was a 7 or 8 year old kid, before I even knew where babies came from (^^' )ゝ And she told me it was quite normal. So it's weird to me to realize it's such a taboo subject in Japan. People aren't perfect creatures, sickness and abnormalities exist, because the world isn't perfect in the way we would like it to be. I truly wonder how mothers of children with disabilities are seen as in Japan? Please don't tell me that the mothers are blamed for that in Japan? Most often it's not the fault of the mother. It's in the human chromosomes and is it even possible that they sometimes are from the father? However, even if it's maddening me to hear that women get the blame for it, I do not think that men should be blamed either. On another note... My mother now has 5 children, me included, despite the 2 miscarriages she had. So anything is really possible. Nature is unpredictable in so may ways.

Is there a stigma against employing a surrogate mother to carry a couple's child to birth? For the chromosome issues, that would make no difference, but there are many reasons for miscarriage too. Always a sad thing. Thank you for raising awareness of this issue!

hey bro, you should talk with peoplefrom other countries, me for example, to see if there is a different experience about this topic, unfortunately it also happened to us here in Mexico, but the medicine in my country has evolved to a point to be able to explain what happened, and share how to deal with it good job bro!

This broke my heart in a million pieces. Fuck. I’ve never, ever wanted kids my whole life, I’ve always known I didn’t want to be a mother, BUT, seeing people like this who WANT kids so badly that they blame themselves, try to commit suicide, this is so sad. It’s unacceptable. It’s a normal thing that happens all over the world. Another reason sexual education is very important. Nobita san, is there any movement in Japan to break down some of the reinforced gender roles or at least make mental health more accessible?

Its really hard for women/men to go through such phase in life but I got this from my relatives experience who already had 3 miscarriages but didn't lose hope they were successful she said yoga helped her heal her mind and body so I wanted to share this here on your channel Nobita many thanks for making such videos and raise awareness

I am honestly surprized by this :). In my native culture, 'losing the pregnancy', as we call it, is seen as a natural thing that happens, pregnant women expect to happen and are aware it could happen, happens during Q1 of pregnancy, and if they made it into Q2 they feel relieved and is clear that carrying the pregnancy to term is a real possibility after that point. But Q1 of pregnancy is well and long known as a very dubious and complicated period for pregnancy, and is known that is not a sure bet you'll pass that stage. Medically speaking, the fetus doesn't have his own brain prior to week 13-14 of pregnancy, but functions pretty entirely on mother's brain and body, is not the heart and heart beat that makes us humans and functional humans, or US, is our brain, which appears later in the pregnancy. And is likely that in some cases, if it depletes the mother of nutrients too much, or somehow the brain of the nother faces some extreme hardship in dealing with the fetus as well, the brain to save itself from perishing, stops the fetus from evolving and wants to eliminate it, because at that point the existence of the fetus is a sudden shock, and is a bit like a virus, something thay got out in the body and keeps on growing using the nutrients and energy and processes hijacked, basically, from the mother. For example, we vomit during the Q1, precisely because we face a sudden depletion of nutrients after the fetus shows up, and also hijacking our own brain processes, and this in general creates humans a state of vomit. And it can happen miscarriage, even multiple times, a more in detail medical and blood examination is needed, and probably the woman should make a cure of nutrients such as minerals and vitamines prior to wanting to get pregnant to fortify deposits a bit, could help at times. But is not always a matter of 'take care of yourself', anyway we find out pretty later that we are pregnant just to begin with, and is not like very abnormal or a taboo :). And is rarely a psychological issue, most probably is a biological issue, including deposits deficiency, or other stuff related to functionality of some processes, if it simply happens such a thing :). But one shouldn't have prejudices about this, DOOH. 🤦😂

I am a man but I dont understand why I am kinda able to feel what she feels. I pray for ur best 🙏🙏

Thank you for talking about this.

Thank you.

When we had a miscarriage the doctor explained it plainly as you explained, the chromosomes came together and if it was not right it would self terminate. Depending on how big the fetus is you might not even notice or ha e to have and operation, which is always traumatic. My wife (not from the US) did not take it well and was set that something she did was the cause much like the ladies here. Placing blame only makes this worse, luckily we continued trying and now have two wonderful boys. The main thing is, it’s not your fault, nothing is wrong with you.

I'm not crying. You're crying.

Stress is also a main factor of miscarriages. I feel like most japanese people tend to be stressed due to work so that could be a possibility. Plus the long hours too

Great video Sir.....

As a father, I think I'm very lucky that my wife gives me 3 healthy kids for the past 15 years of our marriage, and 4th one will be coming next month or so... Having said that, if that thing also happens to me, the miscarriage thing, esp. to my wife, I really don't what to do... That's why I'm very thankful it's not us...

Japanese women -long work hours -absent boyfriend's husband due to work -depression Japanese women have to deal with a lot of depression

@blackdragonkalameet1016

3 жыл бұрын

All japanese not just women, men also work long hours and the couple rarely have spare time together, (nobita even made a video about that). 🤦‍♂️

@xxdarkslayerlord1922

3 жыл бұрын

Seems like the only time they seem happy are when they are in JAV or gravure model

@spleep2180

3 жыл бұрын

​@@blackdragonkalameet1016 True, and as of 2019, men are more than twice as likely to commit suicide in Japan too. Both genders do so.

@gvi341984

3 жыл бұрын

@@spleep2180 Depression is a problem with Japanese single men but the ones in relationships? They are the ones causing the depression.

@spleep2180

3 жыл бұрын

@@gvi341984 But simply stating "Japanese women have to deal with a lot of depression" because japanese women work long hours etc. is wrong because it gives a wrong narrative. It should be Japanese people and the taboo of speaking about mental health, rather than watering it down to japanese women.

It's sad to hear that she actually tried to commit suicide. Also liked where they mention about how men feel regarding this issue, this might sound rude but adoption is always an option. Having your own child is an unique experience but a child is a child.

@vidard9863

3 жыл бұрын

It's very dark humor, but I cannot even imagine how much of a failure she felt after not only failing to carry a child three times, which is atleast on some level out side of her control, and then to fail at suicide, something which she actually intended to do...

@JHMninja89

3 жыл бұрын

Nah. I'd rather have no child than adopt.

@kylanoble8669

3 жыл бұрын

JHMninja89 why? Sorry, that’s probably a bit personal, but I’d love to understand that thought process if you’re willing to explain

@JHMninja89

3 жыл бұрын

@@kylanoble8669 I don't want to raise another man's orgasm. Maybe you don't get it, but you do now.

Japan is actually quite backwards for this baby business... Tests that are absolutely routine in the west are still in the "experimental" stage here. Very odd for such an advanced society. Japan needs more babies!

This is purely anecdotal, and perhaps I was just paying more attention over the past decade because I thought it might confirm my hypothesis, but it seems that since the Fukushima nuclear incident, there has been a higher incidence of health related problems in Japan. For example, just from the few famous Japanese I've paid attention to, the death of Satoru Iwata from cancer and also the diagnosis of Tsunku, neither of whom were old men, perhaps seems like a little more than just a coincidence. In regards to miscarriages, I do know there are environmental hazards which are teratogenic, which affect the development of a fetus.

My mother miscarried twice before me, both at around 21 weeks, meaning she had 2 still born children. It wasnt her fault, her cervix was weak and it meant when she came to have me she had to have a stitch put in. Problems during pregnancy and miscarriage are so common, people should be taught about it more. I never had any education on pregnancy in school, only how to not get pregnant (lol). Asca's description of her depression broke my heart, but how she's moving on from it and trying to turn her past pain into a way to help other women is very brave and admirable. I hope her and her husband are doing ok.

Dang I've known about this issue since i first found your channel around 6-7 months ago but now this issue has gotten so bad that my teacher in sweden is even talking about it

it is awful enough for people to have to go through this if they want children and to be told and to think they are "killing their babies?!" that is horrific! my mother had somewhere around 5 miscarriages if i am not mistaken (it might have been more) but i am pretty sure if she had this kind of totally misinformed "information" she would have jumped off a bridge. that is awful. there are a couple of things that need to happen: 1. education 2. TO STOP THE PRESSURE TO HAVE CHILDREN. NO ONE HAS THE RIGHT TO SAY ANYTHING ABOUT YOUR PREGNANCIES OR CHILDREN. NOT EVEN YOUR PARENTS. i am sure this is not easy for most japanese people, but i can almost guarantee their birthrates would change from declining to increasing if there was not so much societal pressure. the pressure here in the us to have kids is even atrocious. my sister just got engaged and already people are asking her "WHEN ARE YOU HAVING KIDS?!?!?!" and like me, she doesn't really want kids (i actually lean more toward adopting kids, but i am not in the position in my life yet where i can do so). i think FAMILY pressures are the worst and i know MANY MANY MANY MANY people who didn't want kids but who were pressured into having them because of their family saying something like 'I WANT GRANDBABIES!" THAT IS NEVER ANYONE'S RIGHT TO SAY. IT IS NOT YOUR BODY. YOU GAVE BIRTH, IF YOU ARE THAT SAD INSIDE, GET A PET, ADOPT A KID, TAKE IN SOME FOSTER KIDS. that's it. this is a topic that is very near and dear to me because i think it is absolutely atrocious. even many of the people who blatantly wanted kids had to give up EVERYTHING ELSE in their lives in order to do so and that is just an unhealthy relationship into which kids should not be brought!! and i can say these kids see daycare 5x more than they see their parents (i understand there are parents who need daycare but the ones about whom i am speaking are not). you can already seem extreme behavioral problems in these kids. it isn't good! and aside from that, you just DO NOT BUTT YOUR NOSE INTO THE LIVES OF OTHER PEOPLE - ESPECIALLY FOR SOMETHING THAT IS SO TRAUMATIC!!! i can understand that Japanese do not receive adequate education but they do also have free access to the Internet, so BLOODY LOOK IT UP. IF I DO NOT UNDERSTAND SOMETHING FULLY I LOOK IT UP. I RESEARCH IT FOR DAYS. THIS IS NOT DIFFICULT. JAPANESE ARE NOTORIOUSLY INTELLIGENT - PUT THAT TO BLOODY USE! back off of the people who are already traumatized and do some research in your apparent abundance of free time!!! i would HANDS DOWN SUPPORT THE WOMAN WHO IS TRYING TO EDUCATE THOSE WHO SIMPLY DO NOT KNOW BECAUSE THE ONLY WAY TO GET PAST THIS AND HELP OTHERS IS TO EDUCATE (well, to educate and to stop pressuring people so intensely! that is not right in ANY situation, especially one so personal!!!)! i cannot imagine it being socially acceptable anywhere to say something like "oh, you had ANOTHER miscarriage?!?!" derisively. that is sick, i don't care where you are. education needs to improve and the pressure to be a mother needs to dissipate because 100% i guarantee that if that pressure backed off, more people would have much happier kids and more of them. that pressure drives people who have minds of their own to say "f*ck that, i don't want that to be my life for the rest of my life!" i can totally empathize!