"I DON'T REMEMBER ASKING YOU A GODDAMN THING" fucking got me dead 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣💀

@SweetGee321

2 жыл бұрын

Lmfaooo i freakin died 🤣🤣

@claytonrichardson3201

2 жыл бұрын

The funniest part😭

@2ChainZsensai

2 жыл бұрын

As i recall that was SLJ's quote Plz_continue

@jinsetayinsei4146

2 жыл бұрын

Me: -blows raptor flute- Raptor: What ain't no country I ever heard of. They speak Raptor in What?

@michaelscott5653

2 жыл бұрын

Lol Pulp Fiction from when SLJ was interrogating the dude who got a Royal with Cheese

Guy: get behind meh Raptor: I DONT REMEMBER ASKING YOU A GOD DAMN THING!!!!

@HenriqueOliveira-of5er

3 жыл бұрын

What does Marsellus Wallace look like?

@professionalcommentstealer5271

3 жыл бұрын

@@HenriqueOliveira-of5er what?

@HenriqueOliveira-of5er

3 жыл бұрын

@@professionalcommentstealer5271 What country you from?

@Shirohige4yonko

3 жыл бұрын

@@HenriqueOliveira-of5er what?

@HenriqueOliveira-of5er

3 жыл бұрын

@@Shirohige4yonko What ain’t no country I ever heard of! They speak English in What?

At 2:09 idk why but that raptor “responding” with “excellent” fits so well with the whole situation. It’s like a calm but intimidating person being very satisfied with something

@Oaglor

2 жыл бұрын

It might be that the text was in italics.

@Impactjunky

2 жыл бұрын

Mister Burns

@simplyyellow6240

2 жыл бұрын

He miss the oppoturnity to throw a pun,it supposed to be "Eggcelent'

@simplyyellow6240

2 жыл бұрын

He miss the oppoturnity to throw a pun,it supposed to be "Eggcellent'

@asherikamichaela8425

6 ай бұрын

Ngl, she gave me Clever Girl vibes. Not the same animal, I know, but still.

The babies are named Duck and Junior? That's adorable 😂

@denisucuuu

Жыл бұрын

All of these names are taken from Telltale's The Walking Dead for some reason. Carly, Luke, Duck, Lilly, Kat (Katjaa)... I don't know why, but this makes the video so much better

@denisucuuu

Жыл бұрын

Also, Duck's legal name is Kenny Jr

"I'm a woman! You misgendering-" 😂😂😂

@quacker7900

3 жыл бұрын

It actually is a male though, the creator of this video is a misgenderer

@Feral_cockroach121

3 жыл бұрын

Oofers

@hijinxx6825

3 жыл бұрын

@@quacker7900 dats incredibly true lol

@tylerhalloran9158

2 жыл бұрын

Allan is misgendering them ironically enough

@ChristianDinosaur1616

2 жыл бұрын

@@tylerhalloran9158 no hes not, the ones with the quills on the head are the males and the ones without it are the females we can notice it because only female raptors are shown and they dont have quills. Because there's only one quillless raptors this means that the raptors in the franchise probably have matriarchal societies

I love when he starts saying all the random stuff

@JP-pp2tn

2 жыл бұрын

for me that was the best part and was funny how the raptors were responding like things like comparing them to the trex

I love how the Alpha Female’s first line is “Excellent~” in fancy font. You know she’s sophisticated! xD

@Geoknight218

2 жыл бұрын

She's not alpha the male one is

@ChristianDinosaur1616

2 жыл бұрын

@@Geoknight218 actually because she's the only female raptor in the film and clearly rules the entire raptor gang the raptors probably have matriarchal societies in the franchise

@babymetroid6661

2 жыл бұрын

*slowly pulls out shotgun* BEGONE HUMAN!!

@Bakuteddy

2 жыл бұрын

@@ChristianDinosaur1616 by

@gajspalt

2 жыл бұрын

@@ChristianDinosaur1616 We saw the same in Jurassic World with Blue and her pack.

"My vagina is a cow!" Holy shit no wonder these raptors were confused 🤣🤣🤣☠️☠️☠️

@michaelrivera9117

2 жыл бұрын

That made me laugh too

@jordanrobinson9064

2 жыл бұрын

Blame Dr. Wu for screwing around with their genetics!

@shivramkarthik2882

2 жыл бұрын

"That guy must be high on T Rex piss!"

@Shubhamm.Kumarr

2 жыл бұрын

Raptors be like:- are you mr. Bean?? 🤔🤔🤔

@hc3733

Жыл бұрын

That sounds utterly Chinese LOL. Note: in modern Mandarin, Cow's Vagina (牛逼) means “fucking awesome”。

"That's the one who misgendered me!" Lmfao

@quacker7900

3 жыл бұрын

Actually, he didn’t misgender it. The Velociraptor is a male, you can tell by the quills on the back of its head. The creator of this is a misgendering person.

@wolfbane7497

3 жыл бұрын

@@quacker7900 lol

@johnnnyjr8936

2 жыл бұрын

@@Vecha302 go back to school kid, all that soy and boi juice is making you dumb. The creator did misgender him. And that joke is so 2016 anyways. Dumb meme is dumb.

@zippyparakeet1074

2 жыл бұрын

@@johnnnyjr8936 based

@ChristianDinosaur1616

2 жыл бұрын

@@Vecha302 fuck you the only one misgendering here is you and the creators

This is gold, lmao. Imagine what the Raptor squad or the Indoraptor are saying with subtitles on

@cadentheterrified1960

2 жыл бұрын

I can just imagine the raptor squad “Charlie shut the fuck up!!” “I don’t remember asking you’re beta ass delta!!”

@yoboikamil525

2 жыл бұрын

Delta starts shittalking everybody and gets shut down by Blue lmao

@Seussenshmirtz

2 жыл бұрын

"These movies are shit"

@Blue_Oceanic

Жыл бұрын

What we tend to say to each other everyday “There goes the cr@ckheads that I see each morning” “Charlie shut the fu k up!” “Delta, last time I was online I found out that your name translates to dork” “ECHO GIMMIE THE FLOWERS!”

@MrMonsterJamFan

11 ай бұрын

Why did I Crack up so hard reading these reply comments? I can't breathe. Help me 😂🤣

I like how these Raptors act like real birds in searching for their eggs.

@kuywasaamazikeen8048

2 жыл бұрын

well seeing as dinosaurs are closest related to birds there is a good chance they really would have acted similarly irl if searching for their eggs if they knew they were still intact.

@Vibhu59

2 жыл бұрын

Real birds would destroy their eggs themselves if a human would touch them 🙄

@Alatreon2435

2 жыл бұрын

@@Vibhu59 false, they would abandon the eggs

@CeeDoubleU

2 жыл бұрын

Birds don't do either of those things. Both myths ^^ I saw a baby bird fall from a nest in my dad's back yard and picked it up and put it back and came back later to see the mother still taking care of it just like the other babies in the nest. Different species of birds also work together even if there's no benefit for some of them. For example I saw a baby bird somehow on the ground in a neighbor's yard and their dog kept sniffing at the baby bird not sure what to do. The mother bird and other random birds in the area came and took turns attacking the dog. The birds that came to help were different species from the mother and baby.

@Vibhu59

2 жыл бұрын

@@CeeDoubleU I didn't say that all species of birds do the same and i didn't say they abandon their little ones but if you disturb the nest with eggs in it they'll abandon the nests because they think their nest is a target to the predators now

It’s funny how the raptors have more character then the people XD

@thecommandant2831

4 жыл бұрын

Yea Allen was the best

@warmachine6988

3 жыл бұрын

Than

@UndisputedFightingSweetPotato

2 жыл бұрын

alan

@ExtremeMadnessX

2 жыл бұрын

Raptors and Alan Grant were the best part of the movie.

@JTPMalavet

2 жыл бұрын

They’re the TLK hyenas of Jurassic Park!

hands down the best subtitles for any movie ever.

5:51 “Seth Rogan is a god” that one got me for sure

“Kill the Spare.” Nice HP reference.

Damn the nostalgia bro, I remember watching this when I was three and everything that was on my mind were DINOSAURS. I was SO FOCUSED on dinosaurs that I even thought of choosing paleontology as my main career

@MonsterGirlsEnjoyer

2 жыл бұрын

Same

@SOLIDSNAKE.

2 жыл бұрын

Same here I was 9 when this came out

@not.so.mira.

2 жыл бұрын

same same

@Paleo_Void

2 жыл бұрын

@Estoban445 he is like 20 now

@ernstthalmann4306

Жыл бұрын

Me too

"You are all pickles!"

@Feral_cockroach121

3 жыл бұрын

I am a Pickle- thank you for noticing :D

'killing two chompys with one toe" I'm fucking dead

This makes the raptors look like the good guys. They’re only trying to get their baby that was kidnapped by some random humans that invaded their home. If anything this shows that throughout the movies the raptors were only really interested in getting their babies and so weren’t really that bad of raptors

@jamesbrennan4707

2 жыл бұрын

At the end of it all, none of them are really "bad" in any movie. They're all apex predators just doing what they do. A mountain lion will tear a person's ass up, too. And anyone who wants to "give them character" can think of it this way, in all of these movies, their territory is intruded on or screwed with in some way. And in the first Jurassic Park, they're basically lab experiments that are kept imprisoned for the entertainment of people. They're no different, or any more guilty than a poor Lion who gets blamed for chewing on some dumb bitch's arm for reaching into his enclosure.

@analyticalhabitrails9857

2 жыл бұрын

That's what I was thinking.... O_o

@jgroth3906

2 жыл бұрын

In the words of Dr Grant, they aren't monsters, they're animals.

@moteroargentino7944

2 жыл бұрын

@James Brennan A predator is not bad but you wouldn't think about them as innocent if they're tearing you a superfluous new behind.

@jamesbrennan4707

2 жыл бұрын

@@moteroargentino7944 lol agreed. I'm not saying don't defend yourself.

1:19 was one of my favorite moments and Grant's realization that the sound means it's calling for help.

“He’s calling for help.” *”I’M A WOMAN! YOU MISGENDERING-“* I can’t bro lol 😂😂

@faizedfr

10 ай бұрын

The fact it's not a woman is funny

5:46 😂😂😂😂😂 I’m dying of laughter over here

@barbkendall6933

3 жыл бұрын

Same

@idunno_lolz

3 жыл бұрын

xD

5:46 when someone starting a trashtalk at the party 😂

@athosbellomo6272

2 жыл бұрын

When some friends want to go to work whit you. 🤣

"THATS THE ONE WHO MISGENDERED ME" god this video is hilarious

Raptor: “JUMPSCARE!!!” Alan: “They want the eggs” Raptor: “Thank you captain obvious…” 🤣🤣🤣🤣 I laughed so hard

"My Hovercraft is full of eels!" lol Monty Python!

At part way through I said “if Grant doesn’t talk complete utter non-sense when using the chamber this video doesn’t get my like” well you did not disappoint

This makes me wonder which ones are villains of this film; long clawed beasts, or egg-stealing intruders?

@ksoundkaiju9256

3 жыл бұрын

Only Billy stole the eggs, the others wanted the hell out of there

@Tank50us

2 жыл бұрын

@@ksoundkaiju9256 And he didn't do it for the evulz, he did it because funding for his dig site was drying up, and a bunch of people were about to lose their jobs. So was it an act of greed? Maybe. But put yourself in that situation and ask if you'd do better.

@ksoundkaiju9256

2 жыл бұрын

@@Tank50us how can you be certain that the people who offered money would even keep up their side of the bargain They could just take the eggs and be like “what deal?”

@TheLicone

2 жыл бұрын

Humans of course

@fernandopineda5503

2 жыл бұрын

@@Tank50us yeah I would do that lol if you take the eggs you’re increasing your chances of getting killed by the raptors. Why steal something that will probably get you killed and now no one has money and you’re dead lol

“ My vagina is a cow” had me in stitches, my head hurts from laughing.

0:14 When your character only has perception 3-4, but the enemy Rogue fails their Stealth Check anyways. lmao

Why did I read kat’s voice as British when it said “Excellent”😂😂😂

@bella_Areghostsreal

2 жыл бұрын

I did too. Must be the font! 🤣🤣🤣

@tonerusson5656

2 жыл бұрын

Its because us British are more precise, more correct. Not an insult man, just fun :)

@LordSkella

2 жыл бұрын

Same here!

@delloffthewall

2 жыл бұрын

I read it as Mr. Burns

@portgasdace6542

2 жыл бұрын

ah yes a universal studios refrence

“HERE’S...CARLY!”

"My vagaina is a cow" "Seth organ is god" "my hovercraft js full of eals! You are all pickles" "THESE ARE NOT THE DROIDS YOU'RE LOOKING FOR!" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣i''m dead! D-E-D DEAD!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

@michaelrivera9117

2 жыл бұрын

Lol

I mean, when you put it that way, how can you root for the humans?

@zcgamerandreacts2762

2 жыл бұрын

First off one idiot took the eggs and the scent must have spreaded onto Miss Kirby.

@JackRabbittm

2 жыл бұрын

I never rooted for the humans in this garbage movie. The raptors had more character than that shitty family that lured Grant to the island.

@duck7441

2 жыл бұрын

@@JackRabbittm and grant was still the best human in the intire movie

@Bagelgeuse

2 жыл бұрын

Outside of Alan Grant (cuz he's in the first movie), I didn't root for the humans.

@dinodare1605

2 жыл бұрын

Why is this thread suddenly so active?

"I DON'T REMEMBER ASKING YOU A GODDAMN THING!" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

"He must be high on T.rex piss" is what killed me!! 🤣🤣🤣

5:52 "Wait that was a movie, I thought it was just a fever dream!" 😂

Me: Raptors I made some good food from a t rex. T rex surprise guys dig in. A raptor: Why did you make food? You are a prisoner? Me: Raptors are some of my favorite dinosaurs.

As a Raptor enthusiast, I approve these translations

i literally love how i know what their voice sounds like just by looking at the fonts

So I only just stumbled across this video and all I have to say is... Brilliant!!! 🤣 You made my day sir.

@darkone.....2699

2 жыл бұрын

Indeed

This the best Jurassic park raptor scenes and the best part is when Alan had the velociraptors think he was crazy. Edit: thanks for the likes

5:46 that was just perfect!🤣

I beg dear human please make more this some of the funniest shit ever dude 😂

You should do more Raptor subtitles for the other Jurassic Park and Jurassic World movies, this was hilarious! 😂

@moanmoan910

Жыл бұрын

❤😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂🎉😢😢😮😮

"My vagina is a cow!" IM DYING XD

They named their egg Junior. That’s adorable

You can say what you want about this movie, but these were the best raptors the franchise had.

@erichall090909

2 жыл бұрын

I honestly prefer the first movie raptors. They were terrifying

@Yeehaw0588

2 жыл бұрын

I like the first jurassic world the most of all the movies, but the raptors didn't get enough of the right kind of screen time really, I like how lively these ones are though so I kind of agree

@brandonwilliams6221

Жыл бұрын

Love these raptors. Blue was smart in Jurassic World, but not as smart as I wanted. These raptors are intelligent, plotting and not mindless killing machines, while Blue was just an oversized dog and her pack killed relentlessly.

I thought the Raptors with Feathers on their heads are Male.

@quacker7900

3 жыл бұрын

They actually are, the creator of the video was the true person who misgendered them.

This is my new favorite thing. At first I was like "subtitles?? how tf?" and I was so pleasantly shocked

"I'm a woman, you misgendering-" GOT ME 😭😭😭😭

@ChristianDinosaur1616

2 жыл бұрын

Actually the real misgender is the creator of the video, because the quills prove that this one is a male one

@rexymaximoff

2 жыл бұрын

@@ChristianDinosaur1616 yeah I already knew that. But it still was funny.

@macben9983

2 жыл бұрын

@@ChristianDinosaur1616 this whole video is for sarcasm and entertainment only and to be taken seriously. My guy, don't take anything so serious especially like this kind of content. You suck the fun outta it, now it's lame. Thanks to you captain buzzkill

3:51 “ oh c’mon dont fight dirty , is not fair “ it bring me so much memories

Hilarious!!! I cracked up from the first raptor line to the last! 🤣😂🤣😂

Best 6 and a half minutes ive ever watched. Lmao!

On 0:46 that line” here’s Carly” truly got me 🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂

1:45 for some reason this reminded me of AHS “HELP! HELP HE’S ESCAPING!!!” 😂

1:29 GOT ME SO GOOD LOL AND THE ENDING TOO 🤣🤣🤣 BTW that raptors that have quills are male....

@luisllamoespinoza6486

2 жыл бұрын

🤣🤣🤣

5:48 i have the same reaction as the raptor

@superbuu122

2 жыл бұрын

Fukn hilarious reaction meme worthy even

That was funny af can you make one for Jurassic World 1 and 2.......and eventually 3

@Feral_cockroach121

3 жыл бұрын

H*LL YEAH

@bella_Areghostsreal

2 жыл бұрын

Third this! It was actually hilarious. Completely stumbled upon this by accident but I was laughing so hard.

I love how the door they used to trap the raptor locked from the inside, that surely wouldn’t backfire…

"Kill the spare!" that quote from harry potter. had my in stitches

Always thought that Alan playing the raptor flute was the equivalent of listening to somebody talk obnoxiously in a horribly fake accent and they just wanted him to shut up.

Lol that raptor jolting back after hearing my vagina is a cow had me dying

"THIS IS FOR DUCK!" Man, Kenny wanted to survive the zombie apocalypse so much, he turned himself into a dinosaur.

@denisucuuu

Жыл бұрын

Thank you for getting the referrences! All of the raptors are named after TWD characters

@chrisdreemurr117

5 ай бұрын

@@denisucuuuwell… Not ALL Of them.

This was everything I hoped it'd be when I read the title lol

We need more from Jurassic World.

Now that's what I called role changing, EXCELLENT.

I'm wheezing from the raptor-communication skull XD

I like how they all have different personalities and stuff I could watch them do this forever you need to make more of these

I think it's pretty interesting to see that the raptors actually weren't the villains of this movie. Sure, they were certainly the antagonists of the film's main characters, but they weren't monsters. They were just looking for their babies. And I love how they made them show some sort of compassion to that guy laying on the ground. That they actually killed him off without even eating him, so that he wouldn't suffer. Sure, they used his pain to attracts the other humans, but as I said, they only wanted their babies back.

@cnkclark

2 жыл бұрын

You come. Into OUR house. And you take. OUR EGGS...!

The last part where Alan does the raptor resonating chamber thing is hilarious

The translations for Grant was absolutely hilarious and priceless.

Sophisticated, lethal, sadistic, concerned, helpful, they even remember Eric from previous times, I loved this translation

The raptors with spines on the back of their neck are males. The ones with no spines are females. I'm just letting you know.

1:27 3:37 That joke was amazing lol

this makes jp 3 1000% funnier and better

“I’m a woman” Why is that funny to this day💀

Why am i just now finding this 3 years later and why now do all JP movies need this!

I like that you included Alan's attempts as well.

Growing up watching Jurassic Park I always thought raptors were bloodthirsty vicious pack of flesh eaters but honestly they're very loving and caring and nurturing... When it comes to their eggs

They're harmless once you give them the eggs 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Raptor learns to climb gate. Clever girl.

It was so funny! The raptors were just trying to get their eggs back which actually makes the humans sound like the bad guys.

Now I want the whole movie with subtitles of every dinosaur

That was fantastic. Lets make this go viral.

Damn...why did KZread took 3 years to recommend this to me 😂

“Help, I’m a woman then mistreating me” 😂😂😂😂😂😂

不朽の名作

This is really funny at the end when Alan starts talking and the raptors reaction 😂

The raptor posing behind the tube will always be hilarious to me lol

I'm so glad I'm not the only person who wonders what the alien/monstrous creatures in a movie are saying

Oh yeah, now I remember why I liked the raptors more than the people in that movie. They had actual reasons for their actions.

@samanthawright9589

2 жыл бұрын

We-ll 1 of them was tricked into going their, the kid was stranded their by accident, his parents were their 'cauase they wanted their kid back, so they all had reasons.... But so did the raptors. BUT, until earlier the other humans were unaware that guy took the eggs.

That was both funny and emotional.

That’s damn fine captioning. Good job.

NGL I really liked the theme of how the film all tied back to parenthood and not giving up on finding and protecting your children, much like Kirbys and the Raptors. Heck even Grant and his spiritual father/son bond with Billy.

If you can read the subtitles without pausing rewinding or slowing the video, you should join the airforce. They can use someone who's perception is quick enough that you can react to an incoming missile and shoot it down with the plane's gun.

forever my fav scene!

actually the best of JP3 in a nutshell with subtitles for the Raptors, i love it🤣.

I love how smart they are to sit there so still looking as if they are in the tank.

1:29 Dude, the purple Velociraptors are males and the green ones are females.