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r/Trueoffmychest My White Wife is Pretending to Be a Black Man
Podcast: open.spotify.c...
Patreon: / rslash
Discord: / discord
0:00 Intro
0:11 My white wife is pretending to be a black man
1:49 Commenter for the win
2:42 Guy cheats on wife and they open the relationship
5:33 My husband and his work wife is getting on my nerves
10:55 My partners girlfriend found me in his bed
13:22 My husband is having an affair
"Sneaky Snitch" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) License: CC By Attribution 3.0
Пікірлер: 1 200
Story 2: How do you fix this? You don't. You admit you messed up, get divorced, and take the L. You learn and grow. You don't fix the trust you broke like that.
@josephinenelan4204
Жыл бұрын
Yeah, the “No we can’t open” after being the one who opened it up without consent first. Both should have just left.
@bradleybarnett1469
Жыл бұрын
@@josephinenelan4204 I'm not saying the guy is absolved, but he learned just how much his wife meant to him when she left him. Personally, I believe that change can happen, but understand those who don't give a cheater another chance (I've been cheated on before, I will say that). Whatever the case, it's become toxic. Because now the wife is probably doing this to torture him. When she said their marriage had to open, I agree, he should have left
@shadowmewfred09
Жыл бұрын
Exactly it's going to hurt both op and the wife more the longer it lasts, I think this is a mix of "happy couple" rp and "keep the peace for everyone" rp but yeah just rip off the bandage end the relationship
@kaylafuller8948
Жыл бұрын
It's called therapy and not just accepting failure. That is the problem with people today they want to accept failure after the first mistake or the first sign of a problem.
@josephinenelan4204
Жыл бұрын
@@bradleybarnett1469 Rules for thee, not for me, that attitude needs to go. Of course she is torturing him because she felt tortured by the betrayal. So, he should have left. He should have left FIRST before having done anything. I’ve been friends with people with legitimate break ups (no cheating) and eventual reuniting (after having people in between), and recovering from that is a heck of a lot more believable than the recoveries from cheating.
To be very clear to anyone in a relationship: if your partner is willing to either mock you (seriously, not in a playful mutual way) or stand idly by while you are mocked then find a better partner.
@GlitterC8k
Жыл бұрын
Right? I couldn't imagine my bf doing this. Nor myself. The only negative thing I say about him is he is a picky eater but that it's okay lol even I feel guilty saying that sometimes 😅
I'm laughing at the second story. "Woe is me, I cheated on my wife and now I'm upset that she's thinking and sleeping about other men. How unfair, feel bad for me" You got what you deserve bro.
@FEKana
Жыл бұрын
@DMacon1911 thank you for the correction, wasn't sure if it was woah or woe
@DragonEdge10
Жыл бұрын
@@H-to-O It feels to me that people are being a bit too focused on how the wife is justified here and how she's doing an uno reverse here. Maybe it's just me, but I can't imagine the wife being truly happy, or even content, with this situation. Feels like she's doing it out of spite to hurt the husband, which once again, while "justified", is doing nobody any favours, least of all their children. I kinda feel like they should both really consider whether they actually want to continue the marriage in earnest and rebuild, or if it's just the spite/guilt that's keeping a shattered relationship barely glued together.
@amycaires8499
Жыл бұрын
@@H-to-O she offered him divorce. He refused. She set clear boundaries in how their marriage will work going forward. He chose to stay. He can walk away any time. She has told him if he doesn’t like it, they can divorce. Stop blaming her for his decisions.
@tidepodpadthai2633
Жыл бұрын
@@H-to-O no one is forcing him to stay though, she's threatening to divorce him but he'd rather let her keep ""punishing"" him than leave if he wanted to divorce he could
@SweATZ87
Жыл бұрын
@@amycaires8499 If she really wanted a divorce she would've and open marriage is cheating no way around that she just wants his stability and free men
Story 5: That's got to be the worst way to discover that your spouse is having an affair. You just go on about your day, and then you get a phone call from a solicitor telling you that someone is having an affair with said spouse. That must've stung
@sophietremblay3795
Жыл бұрын
This is terrible for op luckily her sister took her and her daughter in her house and her husband helped op find a good divorce lawyer
@shellbeeplays
Жыл бұрын
Man and to think you have to wait 2 years before you can divorce the moron. I guess its different in other parts of the world.
@mrlugh
Жыл бұрын
it sucks, but maybe the cleanest way, to not have to face them and just move out.
@taliabutton1593
3 ай бұрын
The OP uses the word "lawyer" rather than "solicitor" which makes sense, as it seems like it's not happening in the UK - we were able to file for a divorce while we were still living together, we just had to declare something like that our marriage was beyond repair. Or maybe it's because we didn't have children...
So the wife beautician actually had like 3 updates... They were not physically cheating but the co-worker did try and hug and kiss him at work and he shut it down real quick.. He had a cousin that he was really close to that took her life and it devestated him and that is what he saw in his co-worker, nothing more... He understood how HORRIBLE he was to his wife and everything worked out.. He didn't realize until she was saying she's out of this relationship... He was extremely depressed and saw that him not sticking up for her was low! But, happy ending...
@slytherinlibrarian3501
Жыл бұрын
I wouldn't call what he did shutting it down. She kissed him and while he left in that moment, he knew about her feelings and continued to carry on a deeply emotional relationship with her based on his excuse about the deceased cousin without ever putting his foot down that she (the affair partner) needed to quit talking shit about his wife or telling his wife this woman even exists. The AP's boyfriend is leaving her and OP is also one foot out the door.
@Swnsasy
Жыл бұрын
@@slytherinlibrarian3501 He did shut it down.. They didn't have an affair, he told her no.. That's shutting her down...
@13thMaiden
Жыл бұрын
"happy ending" but I still feel the cousin story is fishy and a quick cover for the fact he wasn't into this girl but liked her attention. I don't feel like this marriage is gonna do well unless husband learns boundaries and/or therapy
@thechapLen
Жыл бұрын
@@Swnsasy I think what Slytherin Librarian is saying is that shutting it down completely would have been distancing himself from the co-worker after she made her move. A married person staying close to another person who has confessed feelings and actually attempted to cheat with them is really, really stupid and dangerous. He should have noped right out of that friendship and been clear as to why. That would have been shutting it down.
@SoManyRandomRamblings
Жыл бұрын
@@Swnsasy it's like an electrical circuit....he was still giving energy to this and actively tearing down his partner....that is power to the circuit, it may not be at full power, but the light is still on..... if he had in response to her advances or her insults to his other half, cut back on contact so that the lady knew she was doing something inappropriate, then you could claim he kinda shut it down.....he didn't shut it down though, he just choose to temporarily brush it off. HUGE DIFFERENCE. Plain and simple, IF he had shut it down, she would have stopped or at least backed off.
Story 3: The thing is, both OP's husband and his coworker genuinely believe they're smarter than their partners. I think they might legitimately believe that they're both too stupid to figure it out.
@It-is-me...Melsie
Жыл бұрын
You got the bot!
@Kati_P
Жыл бұрын
@@It-is-me...Melsie Yep. Anything like this with "telegram" as part if the user name is a scam-bot.
Story 2: he only learned from his “mistake” (a mistake happens once which you learn from it) because he got caught. If he didn’t get caught there would be no “mistake” he learned from. ETA: now that the marriage is open and his wife knows she could do better, she denies him. Good for her. However, she should just divorce him and pursue her own happy relationship with someone else. Her kids will see everything and they will not be happy. She is now putting her happiness over her kids’ wellbeing. And they will grow up to learn they can get out of an argument or shut down something in a marriage with the “I’ll divorce you” card. Which is toxic.
I cannot stand people that look down on those they deem less intelligent. What it really shows is that their intelligence is the only valuable attribute, and they've got a bankrupt personality
@fdm2155
Жыл бұрын
Yes, it's also very immature behavior. Sounds like nonsense a high school kid would say imo.
@imweakfordeaky
Жыл бұрын
Besides which, if OP is a hairdresser *who has been her own boss for 10 years and makes almost 6 figures*, she is NOT stupid by any means. It’s not easy to build an independent business with enough loyal customers to make it to the 5 year mark, never mind *10* years ! Being a hairdresser is not just about cutting hair either … you have to know multiple techniques for many types of hair, enough chemistry to choose and mix the dyes, developers, bleaches, perm solutions, relaxers, neutralizers, keratin treatments, etc. Familiarize yourself with multiple products lines of shampoos, conditioners, deep treatments, etc to make proper recommendations for the client’s needs. On the business itself side of things: deal with vendors, accounts payable and receivable, payroll, tax regulations, relevant environmental and health regulations, stay on top of maintenance/ repair/ replacement of equipment… lease or purchase a storefront, or convert part of your house for the purpose while meeting the proper regulations on hair salons. Let’s see Snooty McEngineer Bitchface deal with all of THAT !
@octosquatch.
Жыл бұрын
Also shows that they're not as intelligent as they think they are.
@PaveMentman
Жыл бұрын
--- @@imweakfordeaky Aye, and not to mention there is also the fact that "No One Can Do Everything, But Everyone Can Do Something". And popular media-wise, in the "Dr. Stone"-comic the importance of "brains-muscles-handiworks"-relationship was quite well reminded and demonstrated: Architects usually require manpower, who also require maintenance, and so on. And then there is of course the "artisans" ( like you for example broke down some nuances of being a hairdresser ) who necessarily aren't "super brains" but their handy-work simply cannot be replicated by brains alone at the moment. ---
@fdm2155
Жыл бұрын
@@imweakfordeaky Right. That's why I say the husband and coworker are immature and likely insecure for looking at a successful small business owner and claiming she's somehow 'stupid' or inferior to themselves. Very juvenile.
you know a story is quite god damn weird when even rslash is speechless like in story 1
@TheNormExperience
Жыл бұрын
When the title already leaves you speechless…you KNOW the story is gonna be a wild ride!
@mattybrunolucaszeneresalas9072
Жыл бұрын
Wel he wasn’t speechless
@Ayaforshort
Жыл бұрын
I mean it really isn't his place to speak on it anyway. Because the people who are hurt by the situation are either members of the black community or people online that she has been trying too fool with blackface, so she can appear more knowledgeable about shit that is not *her* place to speak about.
@mattybrunolucaszeneresalas9072
Жыл бұрын
@@Ayaforshort hurt? I just dont get it. More knowledgeable about shit that is not her place to speak about? Such as?
@kervinsantos5808
Жыл бұрын
@@Ayaforshort how do you respond to your wife doing internet black face!? That would leave u speechless and confuse.
The lengths some people go to just to be able to say the N-word.
@skunkrat01
Жыл бұрын
Oh shit! That makes so much sense 😅 Thanks for this cause, as an Aussie with a Norwegian mum (who is herself a quarter German and one sixteenth Channel Islander) but also spiritually Argentinian after I went to school there, I had NO idea what that chick was doing.
@FTMothman
Жыл бұрын
With all the shit tied with being able to say it I will never understand why people want to so badly.
@Blue2x2x
Жыл бұрын
@@FTMothman It's because the slur is a "forbidden fruit" word. People are more likely to be attracted to things that they can't have. Though, in this case, the "forbidden fruit" word can be any word, not just the slur.
@HaloJumper7
Жыл бұрын
@@FTMothman They don't want the intergenerational poverty and redlining or the intergenerational trauma of demonizing and dehumanizing them. It's the trauma of racism and being ripped out of their freedom, cultures and religions and being forced into erasing everything about them. They were subjected to genocide, rape, torture and were bred like cattle and branded. Even half-white offspring of rape were denied their humanity and thrown into slavery under the one drop rule. They weren't compensated for their labor and thrown into the open to die off or live in abject proverty as to provide cheap labor or just get imprisoned and enslaved again. So of course a minority of them will want to prove their humanity by making up a new identity and background (Black Israelites). African-American culture is so rich that it is always adopted by the rest of the populace and these fringe groups are bound to appear just like all those fake Aryan stories were made up by some delusional Germans to cover up and shift from the responsibility of their "humiliation" in WWI, which is just shattered ego of imperialism and they are in no way victims like descendants of people who suffered Chattel Slavery.
@jordanmchighlander9365
Жыл бұрын
@@Blue2x2x I wonder if that's also why sone people get so up in arms about LGBT terminology? The word "dyke" is considered a slur if you're not LGBT but some people get up in arms about it.
As an Asian that identifies as a white woman that identifies as a German shepherd that identifies as a native American man, I am also outraged.
Story 3 “Workwife”/“Workhusband” was the worst word ever created and I feel that anyone who uses this term to describe their relationship deserve to be reprimanded and possibly demoted/fired.
@FTMothman
Жыл бұрын
Workspouses are the dumbest thing I’ve ver heard of, never seen a situation where the people involved aren’t cheating.
@lmaChroma
Жыл бұрын
Absolutely agree! I work closely with one of the guys on my team and if anyone called us work spouses I don't think I'd be nearly as comfortable around him
@danajohnson6273
Жыл бұрын
Wow, I’m gonna probably reconsider calling my friend, Eric, a work husband. I didn’t know it was looked down upon so much. And no, we’ve never done anything- but I can see how others might see it that way. I’m kinda cringing at myself- yikes. Thanks for helping me improve myself.
@natytambasco
Жыл бұрын
I not from the USA, I don't know if other countries have this word but since I have seen this thing existed I thought is REALLY weird, sounds so disrespectful to the real spouse.
@valdavid1829
Жыл бұрын
yall are being ridiculous. not all work spouses are cheaters. its usually just a work friend you like spending time with.
god hearing all the stories about cheating always baffles me?? i will seriously never understand why people cheat instead of just leaving the relationship if they're unhappy
@fdm2155
Жыл бұрын
Because people want to have their cake and eat it too. Husband wanted all the benefits and security of marriage while also acting like a single bro.
@avamasquerade
Жыл бұрын
They're not unhappy. Sometimes cheating is about the ability to manipulate and dominate a partner's perception. It's about the mind fvckry and control one (usually pathological) partner can exercise over the other partner. It's about making their partner feel inadequate so they're too insecure to leave and instead spend the relationship elevating the perceived value of the cheating partner and kissing the azz (aka, groveling) to get their cheating partner's love/acceptance. This is why they say cheating often has nothing to do with the relationship or the "perceived value" of the spouse that's being cheated on. It's simply a tried and true abuse tactic.
@darkmillennia6508
Жыл бұрын
@@avamasquerade True! But also it fascinates me how they turn around and realise the person they are cheating with, can truly be happy without them. Like they’ll literally drop on their knees, cry and beg for them to stay. All of the sudden they realise they still love the person they just cheated on with. I don’t know what possesses someone to want to have an affair then sob excessively once its all over. Is it guilt?? Insecurity?? You just can’t simply understand why someone cheats then regrets it afterwards. It makes sense if the cheater no longer feels anything for their spouse. But when they do, it’s like… why then?? I wish a therapist could explain this to me. Like what they do they look for, when they feel the need to cheat on their spouse they actually love?
@dx1450
Жыл бұрын
I don't get it either. I mean, what's so hard about keeping your privates to yourself? And if your relationship/marriage is so bad that you look for attention elsewhere, then get a divorce or break up and be free.
@Basically_Anybody
Жыл бұрын
Because sometimes the relationship isn't unhappy, People who cheat want what the relationship offers and more, or deceive themselves into thinking cheating is somehow better than separation from their current partner.
First Story: I beg ya pardon? As a black man, um I don’t know how to respond to this or react to this. Um, this is weird behavior and I think OP should confront her asap. That comment is hilarious lmao. I don’t know how to feel about it too Second Story: Honestly, OP brought this on himself. OP cheated and is now not wanting to deal with the concequences of his own actions? OP is lucky that she didn’t outright divorce him, cheating is usually an immediate deal breaker. Shouldn’t have cheated Third Story: OP and the colleague partner should be together and OP's husband and his colleague should be together. They are perfect for each other because they both are shitty people and blatantly disrespect OP. Its crazy how the colleague's boyfriend defended OP instead of her own husband. I think they are cheating and don’t care about how wrong it is honestly but that's just my suspection Fourth Story: That other woman is a diamond. OP got rid of a horrible boyfriend but maybe made a friend Fifth Story: Wow, how would u react to this kind of news? I feel for OP. I really hope OP gets rid of this man as soon as she can
@nanoglitch6693
Жыл бұрын
I was kinda hoping he had said he'd been cheating with a black man when she asked him about that in the first story... 😂 I really wish there was an update.
@xKCAZxLEADER
Жыл бұрын
@@nanoglitch6693 lmao facts and deadass, no way a story like this can’t have an update
@whatteamwildcats4033
Жыл бұрын
I'm mad he was non specific about what she was saying, give me the tea
@KnucklesxReala911
Жыл бұрын
@@xKCAZxLEADER i wish for an update but honestly I just feel the answer would likely be that she probably is a sj warrior of some sort but she wanted more "validation" on her argument about oppression and decided being a black dude for it, op didn't mentioned that she made any sexual thing there so she isn't trying to do a weird sex RP fantasy
@SoManyRandomRamblings
Жыл бұрын
9 times outta 10 when white people pretend to be black online it is to be racist....they usually do things like claiming something that is racist doesn't actually offend, or that people are right to be racist. I hope there is a special place in hell for them, AND I hope karma still gets them in this lifetime too.
LMAO not the second guy being upset?! He cheated multiple times, so she opened the marriage. If he doesn't like it get a divorce. He needs a hard reality check, like face slammed into a wall reality check.
@SweATZ87
Жыл бұрын
So does she she shouldn't stay and punish him she should leave an open marriage is still cheating even if the partner did it first she's in the wrong
@RealCoolstriker64
Жыл бұрын
Come on. “We can have sex but you aren’t allowed to finish?” Come on, that’s PURE SPITE on her part. Toxic af from both
Story 3 actually has an update. R/Slash’s assessment was spot on! Turns out the colleague had a crush on OPs husband and even kissed him at a work function at one point. He turned her down and made it clear he was devoted to OP. After OP confronted him with the text exchange discussed in the video here, he apologized, told her about this this, explained that he didn’t know how to deal with the colleague so just laughed off things she said, and even went so far as to get the CCTV to prove that he didn’t kiss back and turned the colleague down. If I remember right, the colleague’s partner decided to end their relationship, but OP and partner decided to work things out (maybe went to couples counseling?). I also think the colleague left the workplace, but may not be remembering correctly.
@kay19129
Жыл бұрын
I hope the coworker left. I don't understand why some people go after a taken person, just out here ruining people's lives.
@debymello4756
Жыл бұрын
@@kay19129ego trip. HWs think that being capable of taking someone already taken means they're "more" or "the hotshot" because someone ia willing to do something generally seen as scumny for them. If they're extra scumny even the thrill of doing something wrong. That's why stories about cheater regret often comes with the AP either leaving after the relationship is over or be in shook when the cheater chooses to cry to their spouse instead of into their arms
That second story feels like the husband's pov from a story a while back. A woman found out her husband was cheating on her and she waited in the lobby of a hotel to see them. Idk, it could be 2 separate relationships and have nothing to do with the other but it's still crazy
@quangotango8061
Жыл бұрын
do u remember which video it was in? i wanna compare the stories
@Basically_Anybody
Жыл бұрын
It might be, I remember a similar story and what I recall checks out. Of course, if it is she may have seen her husband's post, because dude has now deleted his reddit account
@A_Rose_From_Concrete
Жыл бұрын
@@quangotango8061 Unfortunately no. I just remembered the woman sitting in the hotel waiting to confront her cheating husband, it could have been one of those Tales From the Front Desk stories. I'm not sure tho, sorry
Story 2: marriage was dead when you cheated. Marriage was brought back as a zombie when the marriage was opened up so it could die all over again.
@kay19129
Жыл бұрын
Gruesome isn't it
The "hot, dumb wife" story: run, girl, RUN! You get that she is jealous of you, right? You're hot and you're rich. Let him have a good look at the other side of the door.
@NinjaTyler
Жыл бұрын
Yeah OP sounds like a wonderful person and that moron is/was lucky to have her and he is giving it all up to appease his "intellectual equal" who just sounds like a jealous bitch trying to divide them so she can get the husband.
I feel like maybe the second story would be more sympathetic if the guy only cheated once, but no, he made the conscious choice to cheat multiple times. You reap what you sow my dude
@JustAStump
Жыл бұрын
Nah. You cheat once you're a peice of crap.
@EpicNoob99
Жыл бұрын
And what baffles me is the fact that he and his wife were having sex multiple times a week (according to him), yet he chose to cheat on her with a woman he met online?
@RisinTyson
Жыл бұрын
@@EpicNoob99 married someone out of his league. Felt like he was the one settling. Realized he wasn't and knows there's no way to seem like the good guy so stayed so his kids won't learn the truth.
@Alakaizer
Жыл бұрын
*sow
@Richard_Nickerson
Жыл бұрын
You reap what you sow* Sew is for clothes, sow is for planting
There are tons of updates for the 2nd (cheating dude asking for forgiveness) and 3rd story (work wife). Sorry for an eventual bad-english case: 3rd story) OP and work-wife's boyfriend confronted their significant others. OP asked why did the husband let the "work wife" talk about her and why he followed that game. He said not to be worry. She's just acting like a work wife does by being petty and jealous. OP says that that hurted and started to cry. Then husband came back a few minutes late, and told that she's right and he was stupid to let that happen. Now, you would think things will go better and heal after this, but no. Work-wife BF did the same to her (talking) but also got to see more convos between OP's husband and work-wife. They kissed in a party some months ago, also admitted that work wife had feeling for OP's husband. Work wife BF show'd and told this to OP. She was mad and demanded an explanation from her husband and he freaked out, because.... yes, they did kiss but it was her and he didn't kiss back when he could have done that, also offered more explanations. She told husband to leave the house for a time. She wasn't mad, just confused and sad. Days later, OP and husband talked and he showed a photo. It was a photo of his dead cousin, who looked similar to work wife. Husband said that he knows why he bnoded so weirdly with work wife. She reminded him of his cousin who killed herself when she was 16 for getting bullied over and over, so that's why that happened. He told OP she was right and is going as far as cutting all communications with work wife and quitting his job and looking somewhere else. That he sees a future of them growing old and going together. That did nothing but fill OP's heart wit joy. But..... ...after that happened, that joy went somewhere else. Something is now broken inside of her, and he's thinking about leaving him, thinking they're not meant to be. That feeling it's not something weak, in her words, but a thing that just keep getting stronger by the day. She just doesnt trust him and it's not the same anymore. 2nd story) "copy pasted" Thank you everybody for the reality check. "The general consensus that I gathered from the comments (I never thought there will be so many, I'm still reading them), is that you believe that my wife doesn't love me any more. It's probably the truth. She is staying with me for the children and I fully understand her. I love my children too and I want to be in their lives all the time, every day. We have worked so hard for the beautiful life we have and we did it all primarily for the sake of our children. I will not ruin that now for selfish reasons. I have decided to stop hoping/wanting/demanding love and forgiveness from her, instead I will accept that I will always live with this guilt. that's only fair. I will enjoy the other aspects of our marriage. Like raising our beautiful children with an amazing person like her and watch them grow up to be the good human beings they are. I will always love my wife and I will always regret what I have done but I need to move on too, I'm going to seek help for my mental health and probably start seeing other people too when or if I'm ready." That's all for now
@Ikajo
Жыл бұрын
The whole work wife thing is just weird regardless...
@Ikajo
Жыл бұрын
@@H-to-O The comment is about story 3, not 2
@straussenei1
Жыл бұрын
@@Ikajo read the whole comment
Third story: yeah, I think that relationship needs some therapy and some other intervention. Maybe a separation as a cleanser. Your husband shouldn't belittle you like that
Story 1: I don't even know what the whole point of this LARPing is supposed to be. She could've just gone as herself and it shouldn't have been much of a difference
@FriendshipIsMagic1998
Жыл бұрын
Its semi common online (as in a lot of people have been caught or called out for doing this) People who want to be derogatory towards a particular group online will pretend to be a member of that group to lessen the blow back/get away with it lol Example: anti-feminist man pretending to be a woman online, anti-gay person pretending to be lgbt online, etc
As someone whose Black, all I can say is "WTF?!?!" Like what was she tryna accomplish by pretending to be Black? OP needs to confront his wife ASAP. Us Black folk are really good at telling who isn't and isn't Black. Especially since words and phrases that only we know, so even over text we can tell who is and isn't Black. That story also reminds me of when done guy stole my pics and pretended to be me. It was both weird and creepy seeing a pics of myself on an account that wasn't mine. Fortunately, that account got shutdown.
@truthseeker9249
Жыл бұрын
Phrases that only we know? Like what? I am black but I don't have a lot of black friends.
@bridgetmadden5716
Жыл бұрын
Some people like to stir up problems, start fights that racists will blame the black community for when it's just a dumbass white person being a problem.
@winniethepooht5776
Жыл бұрын
@@truthseeker9249 exactly, honey. It depends on where you grow up. It might be different for you if you don't have many black friends. Like how an Asian person who doesn't spend time with other people like them might not know what it's like to grow up with very traditional Asian parents.
@renlosee5223
Жыл бұрын
@@winniethepooht5776 one of my biggest regrets in life is being completely whitewashed. I'm half and half and know jack shite about my black half. My parents (I'm adopted) act like they are amazing people especially since they adopted a biracial kid. The hardest thing I have gone through in my life (and never will be resolved) is feeling like I don't have a place to belong. And it doesn't help I live in a white bread town and was born in a different white bread town.
@winniethepooht5776
Жыл бұрын
@@renlosee5223 ouch. I'm sorry you feel so displaced. I encourage you to find friends and neighborhoods and get in touch with black culture if you're really interested. I'm not saying abandon the white side, not at all. But if you want to know more, widen out and find people that can teach you. Come on down here to Detroit, there's plenty of us.😂 Don't believe every stereotype you hear about us, either. (Fyi, other cities call themselves "greater Detroit" so a lot of times you hear about things in Detroit and it's not even us.) I'm not saying we're Beverly Hills but things have improved. And there is TONS of things to do downtown. You'll find people of other races, too, so consider it 'gentle transition.' 😂
The guy from the second story should just get a divorce. It's obvious he can't handle being in an open marriage, and it's unlikely his wife will ever change her mind, so the 2 of them should stop kidding themselves.
@the_rachel_sam
Жыл бұрын
And for all we know, she might not even be seeing anybody. It’s the thought of her possibly seeing someone else that’s enough to torture him with his own guilt.
@TheLobsterCopter5000
Жыл бұрын
@@H-to-O Imo forcing someone into an open marriage they don't want so you can sleep around is the same as cheating, so basically she wants to repeatedly cheat on him with who knows how many guys because he cheated on her with one girl.
Story 2: There's no 'fixing' this. You messed up and destroyed your marriage. Now you have to either divorce her or deal with the hand you dealt yourself.
Beautician story: sad that the only one who stood up for OP and called the colleague out for being rude was the colleague’s partner and not OP’s partner. OP’s husband doesn’t care for OP. OP deserves better than sharing her 6 figures with a guy who can’t stand up for her when his jealous colleague insults her, let alone join in and laugh at the insults…
It's pathetic how ppl cheat and then have the audacity to play victim when the betrayed spouse decides to cheat too.
@13thMaiden
Жыл бұрын
Technically not cheating since she only started after the marriage was "opened" with both's consent. He however is a cheater cause he fooled around while the marriage was still closed.
@madambutterfly1997
Жыл бұрын
@@13thMaiden cheating is cheating regardless of how you look at it and open marriage is a cute way of saying cheating without consequences doesn't matter if the other party is fully consenting to it
@starrythinker
Жыл бұрын
@@madambutterfly1997 Eh- Kinda.
@madambutterfly1997
Жыл бұрын
@@H-to-O the concept is just a loophole workaround. An open marriage is just you wanting to fuck other people with permission from your spouse.
@SilencedBTM
Жыл бұрын
@@13thMaiden Yeah, he consented to the opening of the marriage but under duress basically. Which normally everyone lambasts a person for demanding an open relationship as an ultimatum. Why is it okay in this case? The guy sucks but she should have just dropped his ass flat instead of this. They both kinda suck imo.
Story 2: what are you crying for? You got what you wanted, she's getting what she wanted. You cheated for 3 months until she caught you, how long were you going to cheat if she hadn't found out? But now that she doing what you did your dying inside? The problem here is that you wanted everything to be one-sided, you cheat she stays home and remains oblivious, but now you both get to have fun.
@toothless3835
Жыл бұрын
@@H-to-O an open marriage isn't half-assing it, and can work for some couples. But it requires communication. She might not be with anyone at all. She might. And it's not a petty reason, it was attempting to keep the marriage together for the kids because she doesn't trust him not to cheat, she said "if you do it, I get to too, fair is fair." He could've said no and then they could've gone through a divorce which is also hard on the children. He's being insecure and they need therapy, but he's the one who wrecked the marriage first. If he didn't want an open marriage, then he should've have cheated to begin with.
@PrettyVulgar92
Жыл бұрын
Actually she is being kind of fucking Petty she keeps using the divorce card as a way to keep their relationship open because anytime he actually brings it up to close the open relationship because obviously he's not happy with it anymore because he realized just how badly he fucked up so at this point they need to get the divorce it's going to be better for both of them she's obviously not in love with him anymore she's just dragging him along and hurting him just like he was hurting her when he cheated divorce is their best option yeah it's going to suck for the kids but you know what else is going to suck for the kids growing up and seeing your parents not love each other
@madeline6951
Жыл бұрын
@@H-to-O "she" is dragging the family through hell? I'm sorry, she's the one who's honest in that household and set clear boundaries. If he can't respect that, he can accept divorce and end this "hell" in any moment?
@SweATZ87
Жыл бұрын
@@madeline6951 Two wrongs don't make a right stop putting the wife on a throne she's not
@madeline6951
Жыл бұрын
@@SweATZ87 I don't see how she's doing anything wrong. She's giving options and setting boundaries. OP needs to grow up and accept the consequences of his actions.
I have no sympathy for the second story OP. Now he feels exactly how his wife felt when she caught him cheating
@13thMaiden
Жыл бұрын
I only feel sympathy for the kids in this one. I felt sorry for the wife at first until they decided to force this sham of a marriage to go on rather than a full divorce. Their kids are gonna be seriously f***ed up.
@shadowfang269
Жыл бұрын
@@13thMaiden oh yeah the kids definitely are the ones getting the shit stick here. As for the wife I'm not thrilled with her either still should have divorced OP instead of exposing their kids to a toxic broken home
@darkmillennia6508
Жыл бұрын
@@13thMaiden it’s not her fault he cheated first. I get what you mean, but I don’t think the open marriage is what’s harming the kids. You can still co parent and see other people. And it’s not going to affect the kids unless the other partners are in their lives. OP didn’t want to go through the divorce because he’s a coward, he didn’t feel any shame for those 3 months he’s been having an affair with. But now he does because he sees how happy his wife is without him. His pathetic self is what harming the kids. He wants to stay in the relationship because he can’t admit he ruined it for them. Thus turning this into a toxic one-sided relationship. His wife brought up the divorce because she knew this relationship wasn’t going to stay monogamous. OP insists he wants to stay married. And even if she wanted to divorce him, it’s a pain in the a** to do and costs a lot of money and distress. It’s just very messy, and I agree they should just divorce because the OP clearly still has feelings for her, but she doesn’t feel anything for him anymore.
@Xarosai
Жыл бұрын
@@darkmillennia6508 Agreed but it still does not excuse the psychological abuse the wife does by threatening to divorce every single time he brings up closing the marriage again. To my eyes, they're both pieces of shit and the only victims are the kids!
@giancarloc1985
Жыл бұрын
Indeed. None at all. I'm not going to give sympathy. If someone wants an open marriage, make that clear in the beginning. Don't cheat.
I'm glad the other person in the last story Contacted OP and told her about her Husband. We see often on revenge stories that the person plotting revenge on the cheating partner or spouse will often not tell the partner of the other half of the cheating peoples for a very long time just so they can get revengus maximus.
As a licensed cosmetologist that husband and his coworker can go screw themselves. All the stuff you have to learn and test on is crazy. We had to learn biology, anatomy, history, electricity stuff, business, chemistry, all so we know how to take care of our clients.
Story 2: The time to fix things was the day the affair began. If you really wanted to fix things and stay with your wife, the second-best thing to have done (since the best thing is always to not do it in the first place) would be to admit the truth the day that it happened. If you let even a single day pass by, it gives you false hope that you can get away with it. If you admit to it the same day, and you show that you really want to salvage the relationship, regardless of what your partner decides to do, there is a much better chance that you'll become a better person and truly learn the lesson. Sincerely, A former cheater
@luke_at_my_art
Жыл бұрын
Cheating is a horrible thing to do but what happens after and how it's handled can truly open what kind of person someone is when it comes to taking responsibility for their own actions. I really hope you manage to find peace and owning up to your cheating and grow from it. The way you written all of this is literally what OP should of thought of instead of thinking he is the victim
@rglover444
Жыл бұрын
@@luke_at_my_art And this is why the "once a cheater, always a cheater" mentality is blatantly false. Some people DO Learn from their mistakes.
@luke_at_my_art
Жыл бұрын
@@rglover444 I wouldn't call it mistakes, but I won't condemn anyone if they actually learn from this action. Many cheaters remain cheaters or wallow in self pity, but if you can accept and learn from it, it's best to grow with a new person because the previous partner is too hurt to do this and can harbor resentment. The op of this comment, I do wish for peace on their end. For OP, I don't have sympathy, but he is being abused at this point
@rglover444
Жыл бұрын
@@luke_at_my_art Even that depends on the person. When i made that mistake i was fortunate and lucky enough to stay with my partner, who isn't a resentful person and didn't seek any sort of revenge. Both of us just wanted to rebuild and move on, but i recognize thats a luck thing. We're in agreement on OP being abused now, which is never the answer. I was always taught that you respond to tough situations by trying to understand and move beyond, this definitely is not that. Edit: We've been together for almost a decade now. That mistake was made at Year 2 or 3 in the relationship. That may play a factor too.
@luke_at_my_art
Жыл бұрын
@@rglover444 I'm really happy for you and your partner and I'm glad you no longer cheat. I've just heard many stories in which partners forgive but are still resentful or the cheater continues to cheat, which sucks. I'm glad you and your partner were able to overcome and become better and stronger, I really mean that!
Story 2: just leave your wife. Time to let it go.
Second story is FULLY DESERVED. Imagine how your wife felt when you went around her back for a long ass time having an affair. This man deserves to suffer. "I learned from my mistake" Cheaters never do. Literally have family members who cheated on their partners and "baby I swear I'm gonna change/I learned my lesson" It's ALL horseshit, you'd just cheat again but be a lot more sneakier about it. If OP REALLY TRULY DID love his wife he wouldn't have cheated on her. This wasn't a drunken one night stand, this was an active affair. He never loved her, he just loves the stability she provides for him and now that there's no tabooness to him sleeping with other women, he doesn't get joy out of it anymore.
@maam-yj8ph
Жыл бұрын
Exactly. Dumbass didn't know what he had until he lost it.
@alternator7893
Жыл бұрын
Agreed
@jellyfish_bubbles
Жыл бұрын
Straight up facts!
@juliaboskamp9666
Жыл бұрын
true my father cheated and told my mother he will never do it again less than 3 months later and we caught him with another woman again
Story 1: So *this* is why my online friends were asking me if I was a white woman💀 Story 2: he brought it upon himself tbh. Story 3: this is super fucking weird and the colleague is trying to put op down to get with her husband. I have an ex friend who did this to someone(I found out after I stopped being friends with her) I didn’t know, I only found out about this because she got called out and I’m messy as hell. Story 4: It’s the age of technology how did he not look at her phone’s location before bringing the girl back? Story 5: Op needs to tell people, they’re gonna wish they never had him there once they find out.
I remember the first post but honestly when i saw most ppl were finding the first story funny it really made me wonder why white people cant leave us black people alone (i promise im not a white woman lol)
@maheenahmed6653
Жыл бұрын
Hmmm. That last bit is something a white woman would say. Hmm.
@dungeonEternium
Жыл бұрын
@@maheenahmed6653 hmm yes I agree 👍
@theartisticemo7476
Жыл бұрын
Oof, my first story still has no reviews
@FTMothman
Жыл бұрын
Idk, sounds like something a white woman might say🤞🏽🤨
@blizzardgaming7070
Жыл бұрын
Hmmmmm, I’m watching you.
The way that second story sounds… I have to wonder if Op and his wife actually talked about getting back together, or if OP had begged/pestered her to not leave him in the end (possibly leveraging the kids?) and she broke down agreed to on the condition of opening up the marriage. Because, from the looks of it, she never wanted to stay married in the first place. Especially if she’s whipping out the divorce card the moment Op wants to talk about closing the marriage. From my perspective? The marriage was over the moment Op decided to cheat. She isn’t ever going to forgive op for what he did, and he can either accept that and move on, or he can continue ‘being punished’ as he put it.
Story 2: You wrecked it and she's not willing to go back to the way things were before you did it. It's time you both move on.
Cheating Boyfriend: I sort of love how quickly the three month girlfriend realized what was going on.
I found out 3 days ago my boyfriend of a year and a half is still with his kid's mom and has been buying videos and talking to other women frequently. She tried to contact me last year but he and his friends kept telling me she was just crazy. She made a snapchat with his name and I responded to it and that's how I actually found out, since she included a voice clip of him denying me to her and screenshots of what he's sent other girls. I had been in a toxic relationship for over 10 years with my daughters' father and had been out for about a year when I met this guy. I feel stupid, naive, and used. And I know it's going to break my daughters' hearts because they loved him too, which makes me feel even more awful. I hope he feels worse, but it seems like he's just mad we found out. He even asked me why I kept talking to her when I found out it wasn't him. How else can I find out what was going on? He was taking money from both of us, and claims he doesn't owe me now. I hope to never see him again. 😔
Story 2: OP deserves no sympathy, but his wife is just as bad as he is- if not worse. It's one thing if she had outright separated from him or heck, even if they reconciled and she later decided it wasn't going to work but she only got back with him to cheat on him (regardless of the fact that he agreed, he is very clearly not ok with it- that makes it cheating). This extended revenge plan isn't just impacting OP, it's affecting their kids (I'm not ignoring that OP's initial cheating also impacted the kids). The whole relationship is toxic and they need to divorce. This situation is pathetic on both sides and those poor kids deserve better. Although I will add that it's extra scummy that OP cheated on his wife when she was either heavily pregnant or had not long given birth.
3rd story: OP mentioned they are kind of independent, so I get that she can break up with him if she wanted to. But, I think he’s only just socially unaware of what it may seem like. Like how some smart people are really dumb at some things and the smartest person in the planet at other things. Him being so “smart ” could probably understand if OP told him what he was doing. Although, it seems like he’s already getting closer to cheating if he can straight up ignore OP for that long.
2nd story - rip the bandaid off and divorce or move on emotionally. The only reason they are staying together is because of the kids.
I don't really have any words for the first story because that's just bizarre, but I do want to talk about the second story. They need therapy, it's as simple as that. I don't know if the wife has really gotten it through her system in terms of how she was betrayed, and I think she probably holds some of that still inside, which is understandable. And obviously the husband is struggling because he realized that he messed up and he wants to fix it but it can't just be fixed by saying you want to fix it. As much as I think therapy would be beneficial, it might be at the point that divorce is where they're headed. Just because you want to be with someone and it's your fault that the relationship is not where it should be, doesn't mean that you should suffer. OP was definitely wrong and should have thought of the consequences before he acted on his lust, but he didn't and he needs to figure out how things should be. Maybe counseling might get them back to monogamy, maybe it won't, but if he is unhappy in the marriage, he has to decide that he is done with it if they can't find at least a middle ground.
A cheater who genuinely feels bad? Ridiculous and rare I say.
@comet9864
Жыл бұрын
Too bad it doesn't take away any of the pain he caused, he's better off taking the L and divorcing. He's going to end up hurting himself or the development of his kids somehow if he stays. Ain't no coming back from that no matter how bad he feels
@josephinenelan4204
Жыл бұрын
@@comet9864You can only “truly change” for the next person. Never the same one. He should leave. He doesn’t like it opened? He shouldn’t have opened it to start with.
Ok first story is very concerning.
@dudeorduuude5211
Жыл бұрын
You are surprised someone lied on the internet? Bahaha! You just fell off the turnip truck yesterday?
@resolute7177
Жыл бұрын
Ppl are really overreacting about the 1st story Omg someone lied on the internet... who cares?
The second story is one of the best "eff around and find out" I've ever listened to
Story 2: it's your own fault. It's your own fault. It's your own fault. Wife should have just left.
The third story its such karma, cheaters are a POS and dont deserve to be forgiven ever. OP got what he deserved. I hope his wife is having an amazing and fullfilled life with other partners who do care about her.
Story 2: Wife is clearly only holding on for the kids, and maybe out of spite. If OP doesn't crack and leave first, wife will 100% leave as soon as the kids are grown. It's no less than OP deserves, but they should just split now. Staying in a loveless marriage is not better for the kids.
The second story(the open mariage one) I think that one is OMEGA big brain hear me out: Normally when you get cheated on it destroys you and completely fucks over the ability to trust someone. But the wif instead of letting it destroy her pulled the UNO reverse and is now torturing the husband with these feelings instead. Im pretty shure she isnt even hooking up with someone(although even if she did that would be no problem). She just does it to hammer in that nail called guilt deeper and deeper. And that is absolutely genious. she makes the cheater taste his own medicine without tasting it herself!
@imperialspacemarine1539
Жыл бұрын
@@H-to-O While I do agree with the kids part I absolutely dont with the "mistake" part. A mistake is involuntary. its accidental. Cheating is an active choice and is not nor will it be a mistake.(if it was involuntary than thats not cheating its probably a crime btw) also you paint it like moving on is completely in the wifes hand. Dude its a grown ass man with his own capability of making choices. if he is suffering he should remove himself. Divorcing him would be the easy way out therefore she doesnt do it. she wants HIM to do it. Is she vindictive and toxic? uhm obviously? but is it warranted? YES IT IS. as stated cheating is an active choice. You choose to betray your spouse, the trust of the spouse had and the family you've built for a fucking fling. The wife wants him to feel every last drop of shame she can wich he fully deserves. He should remove himself from the situation. Dont put all the hard and emotionally draining work on the already hurt victim of cheating. put it on the well deserving perpetrator. and before you say it yes while I do believe in second chances im not so naive as to give second chances for everything. some things are absolutely unforgiveable and cheating is one of them.
It's independence day in Finland, so we're having a day off, from everything ! This is awesome entertainment for it!
@Tinttilina
Жыл бұрын
Happy independence day to us!!
@zalfany
Жыл бұрын
yay
The WW story got an update since this was recorded. She confronted the husband and he is now living at his mother's and they are going to counseling. He admitted they did kiss once at a party, but it was the WW who forced herself onto him. The WW was upset that the husband didnt accept her advances because she knew he wasnt attracted to her and thats where the bullying comes from. The WW and her partner has broken up and of course, she blames OP for this. Op is thinking of divorce because she feels she can't get over the distrust but hasn't come to a solid decision yet. Hope things work out for her ❤️
Last story: OP handled the situation with common sense and class. If her STBX wants to paint her as the Bad Guy, he's got a lot of work ahead of him.
Story 2: she isn't punishing you, my dude. She's setting boundaries with your cheating a$$ and having fun. You know, the kind of fun that you already experienced and kept hidden from her for months. So self absorbed that not only did he cheat, now he thinks her setting boundaries is a 'punishment'. No sympathy.
Story 2: I don't feel bad for OP. You shouldn't have cheated. You should have left the relationship and never went back. You feel hurt every day? Imagine the pain she felt. Your kids felt. Because you couldn't stay loyal. If you don't want """punishment""" (which it isn't, it's what you wanted) then leave the marriage. That's what divorce is for. Just know you're not the victim in this OP.
@RealCoolstriker64
Жыл бұрын
1. His affair was a few months long. This open marriage has been a few years. 2. She gave him an opportunity to stay. Which means Socially: he doesn’t have a choice. He cheated, and she offered to forgive him. If he leaves it looks like he’s a deadbeat abandoning his amazing wife and children. And i’d bet you she’s fully aware of that, but that’s neither here nor there. 3. *It very much IS a punishment.* on the rare occasions she allows “passionate hugging” she doesn’t allow him to finish. There is literally no motivation for a rule like that other than to maximize misery, cuz that’s all that does. It turns what could be a moment of connection into yet another way to make him suffer. This is not healthy for their children eitherz
@kaguranaomi8245
Жыл бұрын
@CST667 my guy I already said he should divorce her. He's not a victim here. Divorce is better for their children than a man who cheats and acts like he's the one being punished. The only reason there's pain at all is bc he cheated. My stance is not changing 3 months later.
Shoutout to the thumbnail *First OP:* Um … _what_ ? To quote the channel Best Trends, “I can’t say it’s funny, but I have to say it’s kinda funny.” Why would OP’s wife want to pretend to be a black dude?! What’s her end game? I paused before hearing rSlash’s commentary to type this, but I hope there’s an update to this story! Lol at the reply! *Second OP:* It’s hard for me to sympathize with OP. None of this would’ve happened if he hadn’t cheated on his wife. If he’s in that much agony, then _he_ should file for divorce. If it means losing custody and having to pay alimony, then so be it. *Third OP:* I’m surprised OP and her husband’s colleague’s boyfriend didn’t confront their respective partners about the dinner conversation afterwards. I wouldn’t be surprised if OP’s husband and the colleague were having an affair. Best of luck to OP and her husband’s colleague’s boyfriend. *Fourth OP:* It sucks that OP’s boyfriend cheated on her, but I’m glad OP and the other woman talked it out in a mature manner. Part of me kind of hopes OP and the other woman become friends after this. *Fifth OP:* I’m noticing a theme today…
story 2: I actually feel sorry for him a bit. My advice, divorce. Let her find someone she can be happy with, and he should learn to fix his mistake before trying again. Preferably with someone else.
2nd story: if his wife was so desirable, why did OP cheat in the first place
Story 2: This is the price you pay for cheating. This is what you deserve.
@TheBluePhoenix008
Жыл бұрын
@@H-to-O she isn't tormenting him, he is. She's a normal human being who didn't cheat on her partner, he just about destroyed not only her life, but their children's as well. He deserves all of this. He's just projecting his cheating onto his poor wife.
Story 2: uh… no, she IS ounishing him. You don't ban climaxes out-right without malice. “But he cheated!” Doesn’t give you the right to emotionally torture someone. “But he didn’t care about her feelings!” Yes, and that’s a BAD THING, *which the wife is now ALSO doing.* Giving someone a taste of their own medicine when they’ve already been cured is just poison, for both parties. Was he wrong for cheating? Duh, no argument. But no, not allowing climaxes in the bed is nothing more than keeping him in the dog house forever. This relationship is officially toxic and needs to end. ESPECIALLY because they have kids.
So yeah, I agree Rslash on story 3. A partner not having the wife's back. I found out my partner was going behind my back and saying such awful things about me. Like the wife, that hurt more than learning he was probably cheating on me. If you aren't going to have your partner's back, then just leave.
I’m glad rslash is reading r/trueoffmychest, I love this subreddit
I'm in stitches on the ground over how rslash read that second story with all this sorrow in his voice. I was laughing the whole time. Like I can't believe he got so upset over getting caught then freaking act so distraught over being without her after cheating multiple times. Why was it hard? Not cause you love her that's for sure cause you'd respect her and not cheat if you did. My guess is cooking and doing his own cleaning and watching the kids was too hard for him. And if you guys had such great sex why cheat? After getting caught you didn't sleep with anyone ( so he claims) but that literally doesn't matter. You're a cheater still, and have no right to demand fidelity now. Mad cause she won't let you finish and you need condoms? Cry then. Literally no one cares about your feelings and this is indeed your punishment. Accept it. Story 3 omg that gf has issues and the bf is trash. How could you diss your wife like that and let someone else do it and laugh? Also her getting upset that you talked to her bf is just narcissism at it's finest. I can't with today's stories. Next, I love that both women didn't get mad at each other and just left.
Story 2: What baffles me so much is that he even says their intimacy was amazing before she found out, like... I really don't understand why cheaters do this, when admittedly everything was awesome. Why would you want to risk ruining that? Then again, I'm not a cheater, so I guess it's a good sign I don't understand their way of thinking.
For the second story: two wrongs don't make a right. If OP is sincerely learning from his poorly made decisions, then his wife, if she had any love left for him, wouldn't want to create any more division. I'm not saying what OP did wasn't wrong, or he shouldn't have consequences to his actions. But if she's done with the marriage, she should've left. Instead, she is holding the divorce card over his head while being screwed by other men to shut him up in guilt. He clearly learned that the grass was NOT greener on the other side, and she's maliciously vindictive. She does not want to save this marriage or be in any part to try to help you fix it. That's toxic.. if you fight fire with fire or add oil to the flames, everything burns. OP, just leave.. she's clearly showing she has no love left for you. I do hope you get counseling and have learned from your actions, but your wife doesn't love you anymore.
Plot twist op's wife is not going outside the relationship she's just giving him a taste of what she's going through lol
Story 2: damn its almost like she felt the same way. Isn't that crazy? Isn't it so wacky how you get to experience what she experienced when she saw you in the lobby of the hotel? Isn't it so weird how karma works? Wiccans have a rule: the three-fold law. Basically, do as you want as long as it doesn't harm anyone else. Any wrongdoing you put into the universe, it'll come back to you three-fold, or three times harder. Im soooo sorry you feel so hurt by the consequences of your actions 🥺🥺 poor you, OP. I'm glad you realized the 2-hour drive and hotel room wasn't worth it. But ffs you can't really expect sympathy.
Story 2: this is what happens when you break all trust and then expect the betrayed spouse to want to fix things. They're getting divorced the second the kids reach college, if not sooner.
For story 2, I'm going to go against pretty much every comment I've seen. What the husband did was awful and almost irreconcilable. That being said, the wife claiming she wants to get back together only to force an open relationship and basically deprive him of the sexual connection that should be on a marriage is wrong. It IS abuse. Threatening divorce whenever he tries to say something about it is even worse. He should just divorce her. He loves her but she's just using him to keep the image of a happy family up. She has no feelings toward OP at all. Even though he screwed up, he wants to fix it and attempt to have that relationship back. She is just using that to abuse him, which, in my mind, is worse that him cheating.
@pumpkinsproutarts4000
Жыл бұрын
Thank god I didn't want to say abuse because some people will definitely get mad at that but yeah it's literally mental/emotional abuse! And especially with kids involved it's going to cause them so many issues
story 2: I think she's definitely doing it to punish him. And it's absolutely understandable. Still, OP Should get divorced, this kind of relationship fuelled by hate isn't sustainable or good for anyone involved, least of all the children.
I am very concerned about this wife
So the story with the 'work wife', the husband and coworker I think are the kind of people that believe they are superior and so much smarter than other people, that honestly, they could be cheating, they just think they're 'soooo much smarter' than other people, that they are able to hide it, and that other people are too stupid to figure out what they're doing 'in secret'
story 2: there are only two ways this can go. Option #1 in case you are decent human being. Divorce. Accept your wife is either punishing you (3 years vs 3 months) or is finally happy she can cheat on you and probably gets off on it. So divorce is your only option. option #2 in case you are a bad person. (I would choose this). Accept her terms. No sex in marriage, feel free to have casual sex with your secretary every day, let your wife take care of your kids while you will take all weekend long 'passionate hugging' trip with some random girl you meet online on tinder. In either of previous cases, she won't like you doing this. The only case where she would be content with you accepting this option, is where you should have never married her in the first place, since she isn't in the marriage for you in any shape or form.
Second story: Look, stuff like this is terrible but not irredeemable, but when you had your cake but decided to eat someone else's, you can't blame them for "Punishing you".
Second story. Yeah what he did is wrong. There is no arguing that. What the wife is doing though … this isn’t forgiving, this is ongoing punishment. Justified or not, she is being nothing but malicious. If they aren’t going to work to repair the marriage then they need to end it. This isn’t healthy. And I’m a little sickened by anyone who says the wife is within her rights to do this to him.
@lokilaufeyson7035
Жыл бұрын
Bruh divorce or stfu
If the cheater truly loved his wife, he wouldn't have cheated in the first place
@bluesheepwolfie307
Жыл бұрын
@@H-to-O Of course people make mistakes, marriages arent going to be flawless, but I see cheating as a malicious act that someone has to take steps to do while knowing it'll hurt their spouse. They know theyre wrong yet persist in sneaking aorund. They dont "mistakenly" stick their dick in someone or fall on a weiner, thats a choice they made. However we can both agree that this marriage is bad and done for and they reallly need to separate for the good of those kids.
on first story when the wife accused him of cheating, if i were the husband, I wouldve said "Yes! I am cheating on you, with a Black man named (whatever fake name she gave him). We met and started talking on reddit and I cant deny my frelings any longer" and then just watch her face change.
Story 2: So, this is one of stories that the guy is actually resentful of his actions. Though you just take the loss and move from it. If she keeps using the divorce card every time you want to talk about it then you should take it. Yes you cheated, but her seriously doing these petty actions is way more insulting I feel like.
@DopeioThePhoneBoi
Жыл бұрын
Jesse what the fuck are you talking about. How is she 'punishing' him? This wasn't a drunken mistake. This was him CONTINUOUSLY showing that he doesn't give a damn abt their relationship OR their family, bc apparently she wasn't 'satisfying' his sexual needs. She agrees to stay with him and NOT put their children through a divorce, on the condition that they both have the ability to pursue other partners. But SHE'S the bad guy??? Lol, no. He started this. Now all of a sudden it's bad and a punishment when SHE does it??? And she isn't even cheating, she at least is upfront with what she's doing! He didn't seem to care about how much he loved her when he was scheduling hookups with his side chick. Dunno why you men insist on white knighting these scumbags. He got what he deserved. If he doesn't like it, he can file for divorce. He should have thought about how much he wuuuuuved her before he fucked another woman 🤷🏿♀️
@jackbruno4748
Жыл бұрын
@@DopeioThePhoneBoi there is different between justice and being petty and stooping to their level. Instead of being the better person, they are actively putting down their partner. Again yes he cheated, yes he is a scumbag but at the same time you should be the better man/woman and move on. Edit: One more thing to add is that they both agreed to try again for the marriage thing, either one of them could of left but she decided to stay and decided to do these things that I feel are childish. Using their kids and the divorce card when he just wants to talk about it is Uber petty.
@DopeioThePhoneBoi
Жыл бұрын
@@jackbruno4748 What is there to talk about, lmao. He should be thankful she's even staying with him instead of running his pockets for alimony 🤣 I don't have a drop of sympathy for cheaters, sorry that's apparently a wild take or something, lol. Get a divorce if you can't stand it that bad, you cheating loser.
Story 2: hot take, the wife is emotionally abusive and is dealing more damage to him than he did her. On top of that she’s using the kids against him as the reason they should stay together. She is taking advantage of him just to get revenge and the kids will probably be affected by this. This is a everyone sucks here situation but if made worse by how the wife is going about this while the husband should’ve just went the divorce originally to avoid the abuse and avoid potential struggles for the kids.
Story 1: "I didnt mean to snoop around, but I looked through her history" Lol , what? 😅
First story: everyone needs a path to redemption. If you don't have one, GET THE DIVORCE. She is dead wood. Lose her and find a person who will appreciate that you've learned your lesson. She doesn't.
I know this is going to be an unpopular opinion but if the wife in the second story was going after her own happiness then she would have left. She wouldn't have stayed and tried an open marriage. That's a situation she knows she is hurting her marriage partner, and doing it intentionally. Not saying the guy doesn't deserve it.
@Whale460
Жыл бұрын
I've been looking for someone not shitting on the husband, I get cheating is bad but his affair was 3 months but the open marriage was for 3 years so 12 times as long and I would argue that forcing your spouse into an open marriage is basically cheating. What he did was bad but the punishment should fit the crime maybe?
@stormwright8300
Жыл бұрын
Honestly she may not even be cheating. She probably knows he hates the idea of her seeing other people and doesn't even go after anyone cause she doesn't need to.
@EmpressTiffanyOfBrittany
Жыл бұрын
The thing is the guy doesn't seem to understand it's his own fault and that's why people shit on him instead. I don't know what he said to his wife but see I'm a very forgiving woman, I would be able to forgive a single cheating incident... But not if there wasn't even an inkling of remorse or guilt, which it sounds is what happened there. Why did the woman immediately go to an open marriage? I don't think we got the full story there. I think the guy was arrogant or just wanted to drop it and in order to appease his wife (and himself, because my guess is he still wanted to cheat), he proposed an open marriage. But because the open marriage he proposed isn't working out for him it's bad? At this point just divorce, because it's obvious his wife is sick of him.
I LOVE RACISM (Not really but the wife in the story does)
I'm not even going to lie. The title of the first story caught me off guard and I laughed. I'm upset about the lack of update since I'm curious about her reaction to being confronted. S2: If Op was expecting sympathy, he was better of ranting to a wall than coming to reddit. He should've just took the stupid prize he won and let her go. Divorce is far more gentle to kids than having to walk on egg shells around their parents who are obviously miserable.
To the OP who cheated, its tough the situation you are in. Its good that you have reflected, but neither you nor your wife has truly moved on from what happened that day. That is why the pain continues. I have been through the same experience, in order for things to improve you will need to work together on overcoming this problem. S anon does couples meetings, maybe start there. However, if she isn't into fixing things than the marriage is already over and I think you know it. Nothing will improve, cut your losses and move on, you are doing nobody, including your family any favors by staying in a dead marriage. While you can't expect her forgiveness, if you do the work you can one day forgive yourself and grow from this.
The wife just stayed with the cheating op for her kids. The marriage is dead op, let it go.
@briannad9155
Жыл бұрын
Honestly, OP deserves to stay miserable in that marriage. It only sucks that their kids will be living in that house with an unhappy marriage.
Been following your channel for years now, I've never been so early! By far my fave reddit KZreadr! ❤️
The second story the open “marriage” is a punishment because if he was just reaping what he showed she would have divorced him. She wants something to hold over his head and hurt him with. He gets no sympathy for his actions. I do feel bad for the kids in this situation and the continued hurtful actions the wife is taking. Leave him. Or hell OP should take the L and realize she doesn’t (rightly) want to actually be with him because of what he did and leave HER. Staying in hell will only mess up both of them.
Story 1: I heard of cops putting plants in protests to stir trouble and make peaceful protests look violent, but this is a new level. Story 2: As little sympathy as I have for him, if he's so miserable, he can leave? "Oh no divorce!" yeah but you're miserable, why are you even staying? For the kids? They can still see you if you divorce her. Story 3: Rslash I think you're forgetting they think OP is an idiot. The updates only prove it, he gave her a fickle excuse when he realised she'd be leaving him that involved guilting about his dead cousin. "But he shut it down." Clearly not well enough. Story 4: Well, at least the side piece was a good one. As bad as cheating is, a lot of the time the victim and the side piece decide to see each other as the problem, when it's the person who initiated the cheating that's the issue. Story 5: N/A
Second story: OP thinks he loves his wife but he doesn't. There is no one who has cheated on their spouse or partner who has truly loved someone even if they think they do. If you feel like your sex life is lacking, then you speak to your partner, you don't go after someone else. Keep in mind that I am talking about cheating, not (actual mutual) open relationships. Those are made with their spouse/partners trust and knowledge. Now OP is getting exactly what he deserves.
@SweATZ87
Жыл бұрын
No he not and yes he can lov her and just made it mistake like all fucking humans nobody deserves pain back that's wrong and eye for an eye make the world go blind stop this he deserves it mentality if it was reversed she would get less shit thrown her way
Op: “I don’t wanna open up the marriage, and I’ve constantly tried to ask to close it again.” Rslash: “yOu WaNtEd tHiS!1!”
@12yroldedgelord41
Жыл бұрын
You guys are clowns
@DopeioThePhoneBoi
Жыл бұрын
@@H-to-O 'Gaiz don't be heartless to cheaters!!!111' Like do u hear yourself, lmao. Nobody is MAKING him stay. She said open marriage or divorce. He chose the open marriage. He did this to himself. He should be thankful she isn't running his pockets for alimony and taking his childten away, lmao. Imo she should have divorced his ass, but I'm def not going to demonize her for setting a boundary and offering an ultimatum.
@RealCoolstriker64
Жыл бұрын
@@DopeioThePhoneBoi you said it yourself. It’s an ULTIMATUM. Those are rarely “free choices.”
2nd story screams "oh if it isnt the consequences of my actions" the OP deserves it
Story 2: You just gotta leave dawg, she’s just getting off on the fact that she can torture you now, even if she hasn’t slept with another human at all, it’s all to torture you. And then anytime you bring up your concerns, she immediately threatens divorce. She’s not opening the marriage to have an open marriage, she’s doing it to hurt and torture you, she probably knows what’s going on in your head and how she emasculating you, you gotta leave. This is punishment, the cheating occurred and you’ve already paid with the separation, now this is simply her way of exacting revenge. This reminds me of a guy who caught his wife and said he stopped loving her that day, just immediately got over her. Now she begged, pleaded, and cried to not break up with him, he acquiesced, but he doesn’t love her, I think he may have gotten a fuck buddy on the side after the break up and made the former cheating wife ok with it, but he would still fuck her too, but he would do humiliating things to her as punishment and revenge for her cheating, he made her do anal too and caused her a lot of pain, and he basically treated her like a sex toy, he said he stopped caring but still used everything to punish her, any time she would bring up working on their relationship and/or getting rid of his multiple partners (I believe he eventually wound up with more than one fuck buddy) he would hang divorce over her head just like OP’s wife is doing to him. There comes a point where it’s no longer consequences for your actions and it’s punishment, revenge, and torture. OP, you gotta leave, as crazy as it sounds, you have to look out for yourself and your own mental well being now.
10:10 “wishy-washy messages” im sorry but im dying of laughing so hard. It was so unexpected XD
Plot twist: first guy's wife is actually a black man pretending to be a white woman.
I hope that everyone is having a good Tuesday!
@devil_spice
Жыл бұрын
I hope you are too hun
@-_randomness_-6418
Жыл бұрын
You too!
The one about the beautician makes me sad...I went to college for fashion design, and while I didn't graduate, I still learned a lot. Fashion design is not a career for people with low intelligence. Not only do you have to be extremely good at geometry (pattern-making), but you have to know all the different fabrics, all the weaves and fibers. You have to know that certain fabrics handle some situations better than others(example: wool and fleece are good for winter wear, but horrible for summer clothes.) And if a single measurement is off, it can ruin an entire garment. It's also extremely competitive. The other college students in the pattern-making class were acting like it was project runway, meanwhile, I wished that their ability to talk would run away.
I don’t condone cheating but blackmailing someone with divorce to get what you want isn’t the way to go either.