"you're not the beautiful, kind woman I married anymore" = "Your not a doormat and I can't walk all over you any more"

@crystalgemgirl731

Жыл бұрын

Pretty much.

@chaossmith3864

Жыл бұрын

Exactly what I thought. People get real manipulative when you go from not expressing wants or standing up for yourself to doing either at all. Even a little bit.

Last Story: "I don't want to do anything hasty"?! Homeboy LITERALLY said he would force himself on OP to pop out sons like a vending machine, neglect their potential daughter and verbally abused OP when she disagreed. I would rather acknowledge that I wasted 9 years dating a jackass than agreeing to spend the rest of my life with a dangerous monster. (That is some Medieval-level torture $h1t!) Go to small claims court to charge for the broken items, get a restraining order, do what you can to protect yourself and other women that creeper might meet in the future!

@SeanBZA

Жыл бұрын

Send the screenshots to his entire family as well, because you can bet he is spinning another entirely different tale there.

@Josh_the_jester

Жыл бұрын

that guy was speed running getting on a sex offender's list

@rickhernandez7666

Жыл бұрын

Lost cost fallacy there. Totally worth 9 years of a relationship and getting a wake up call like that if it means you avoided getting married to that monster!

@vanzy01

Жыл бұрын

👍

@SoullessGinger1313

Жыл бұрын

See from the way he said it, I thought he wanted her to abort any female fetuses.

I love stories where the partner who pushes for the open marriage gets butt hurt because their SO ends up thriving under the arrangement. Karmic justice.

@pokemaster1725

Жыл бұрын

Karmic *

@Namato360

Жыл бұрын

Open relationships are a terrible idea lmoa. Stuff like this happens all the time

@user-bc7cb8uu7e

Жыл бұрын

It didn't even turn out too bad for him either. I've seen stories where the guy asks to open the marriage and can't find a single partner while his wife has no trouble. In those cases, I have a little sympathy, but this guy's just a jerk

@Zikar

Жыл бұрын

@@user-bc7cb8uu7e Ah yes, Anthony Burch syndrome.

@BloodInTheStrawberries

Жыл бұрын

​@@Namato360 Poly isn't bad, but the reason that they started an open relationship wasn't good. Men usually pressure women into this and make them uncomfortable, they think there is no consequences for themselves but when they see their Wives thriving and being happy they get insecure and jealous. Honestly the first thing you should ask before you get married is if the person is monogamous. It's bad to just spring this on your partner in a mono marriage, many people do have healthy open/poly relationships but the key to that is to be transparent off the block and communication. Granted it's you won't always find the right partners but it's better to stick with someone who is openly poly.

Can we not all just accept the fact that "let's open our previously closed monogamous marriage and suddenly sleep with new people" is always just code for "I want to be allowed to cheat on you but god forbid you ever do the same" lol

@DianavanderPluijm

Жыл бұрын

I'm with you on that one. Nine times out of ten THIS is the reason for whichever partner comes up with this idea. And, most of the times, in a heterosexual relationship, it's the man. Hmm, wonder why?

@TJDious

Жыл бұрын

Yup.

@eldredge_ape

Жыл бұрын

@@DianavanderPluijm In many of the stories I’ve heard, particularly on r/survivinginfidelity, it’s the wife who wants the one-sided open relationship. But I do agree with the original commenter, open relationship for 99.9% of people is just code for “Wait for me like a lost puppy while I go sleep around, it’s *great* for my ego!”

@morgott320

Жыл бұрын

@@DianavanderPluijm most of the time it's the man my ass. There are thousands of stories in reddit of women who want to "recover the life they lost because they married young" by opening the relationship and then regret it later. Stop trying to frame men as evil and women as innocent every single time. Not everything is a sex war. In some cases shitty people are divided equally in the genders.

@scottkendrix6231

Жыл бұрын

@@DianavanderPluijm There's no data to back up your assertion that it's the guy in most cases. In fact, what data there is shows it's pretty well split 50/50.

The first story actually has more parts, and it's pretty sad. The husband eventually contacts J and gets him to break it off with the wife, then triumphantly returns home to tell her he wants to continue having an open marriage. He gets upset again because she met up with J one more time, and she realized this all proves she was right about him just wanting a free pass. She stands her ground on insisting on an open marriage from now on, but she's pretty much taken divorce off the table because she doesn't actually want to break the family up, so... Yea. You can imagine it'll get messier from here. I feel so bad for those poor kids.

@magiv4205

Жыл бұрын

Oh man, that's... that just sucks. What a bummer.

@Resilient_Sage88

Жыл бұрын

Oh yeah! I'd heard that update and she said this nonsense about having come from a split household so she didn't want to do the same with her kids still at home. And I just.....really hope she changes her mind because I can practically guarantee being divorced from that selfish, manipulative, potentially abusive asshole would be better than being married to him.

@TJDious

Жыл бұрын

She needs to leave thst guy. Should have done it when he started breaking stuff. I feel like he has more abusive tendencies than she's letting on.

@WinterBoots15

Жыл бұрын

Yikes the husband really screwed up big

@jadedflames2809

Жыл бұрын

It really sucks when people don't divorce "for the sakes of family" when it usually destroys families to have parents that are not happy with each other and it's unstable

Story 1: Sounded like he just wanted an excuse to sleep with other women. I don't really see how he thought OP wasn't gonna sleep with other dudes for being in an open marriage

@JimmySpace69

Жыл бұрын

All men own their wives and spouses 💪

@madeline6951

Жыл бұрын

@@JimmySpace69 you're not so bright, but at least you're pro- non-binary and gay people

@LavaAnime

Жыл бұрын

@@JimmySpace69 Username checks out

@Namato360

Жыл бұрын

Open relationships are jokes. Almost never work out and statistically is a bad idea.

@SoManyRandomRamblings

Жыл бұрын

He legit thought that others wouldn't want her, that foolish man. Lol

Story 3 is why you should absolutely discuss kids and what you want regarding them when you start dating seriously. Both because it can be a dealbreaker and because red flags like this will come up earlier.

@SoManyRandomRamblings

Жыл бұрын

Exactly

@abbyrobles2400

Жыл бұрын

For real. Me and my husband talked about that as soon as we were sure we were serious. It really made me love him more, because he never acted like having a boy was so much better. He said “Yeah, a boy would be great and I would adore him, but can you imagine how adorable a little girl would be? She’s not even in the world yet, but I already love her so much.” My heart melted🥺

@ilovealpacas5588

Жыл бұрын

Agree. I talked to this guy. Really liked him. We talked for like a month. Thank goodness we talked about kids. Because he absolutely hated them. As much as I don't want kids right now. I might change my mind. I can't promise someone that I'll never want kids ever.

@fdm2155

Жыл бұрын

Yeah, it seems odd that she's just learning of his bizarre anti daughter beliefs after NINE YEARS! Maybe he genuinely never gave her the specfics before then. Probably figured she was in too deep to walk away.

@kanavanloon4244

Жыл бұрын

it can save so much time and alot of pain, i'm glad she got out and away from him

It’s always one partner that pushes the open marriage and then regrets it later when their spouse is treated better by someone else.

@JimmySpace69

Жыл бұрын

All men own their wives and spouses 💪

@RandomPerson-nd2ey

Жыл бұрын

Hmm, not technically always. I knew a hetero couple that began that with another. The two women had been best friends for decades. Pretty much everyone on the outside is convinced that it started because the guy from couple A had cheated with the chick from couple B. It didn't end because the guy from B treated the chick from A better. It ended because guy A and chick B decided that they wanted to be exclusive with each other. Now here's the real stupid part about it. They decided to make this announcement while about 1,000 miles away from home when the only people with vehicles were chick A and guy B. You know, the ones being dumped. They were left far from home by the people they dumped. Somehow, they were genuinely so stupid that they didn't see that coming. This resulted in the destruction of two marriages, the ending of multiple friendships, a young boy being callously abandoned by the man who'd been his father figure for most of his life (he didn't even say anything, just got his dog and left), a young girl losing contact with the only family she had known for the majority of her life, etc. Oh, "but we were happy at the time"! Uh huh, stupid...

@jackmanson2719

Жыл бұрын

It's almost like adultery is a sin and doing it is a terrible idea

@Nerobyrne

Жыл бұрын

@@jackmanson2719 Damn, good thing I don't worship whatever deity you do, so it doesn't matter

@Nerobyrne

Жыл бұрын

What we need is much better sex education and communication in relationships. And, despite what people might think, just because you're polyamorous doesn't mean you're better at communicating. Learned that one the hard way -.-

I have ADHD and I promise that rude teacher would have ruined the second daughter. The "really sensitive" bit is a slight understatement, most children with ADHD have a symptom called Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria and even comments like "You can come if you want" can be seen as rejection to us because it's open ended and we might see it as you don't want us there because it wasn't explicitly said that we are wanted there.

@paulagoeringer9466

Жыл бұрын

I think anyone could possibly see it as passive aggressive if they've dealt with someone who pulls a lot of passive aggressive stuff. Oh you can come IF, while making it clear with a nasty look that you most definitely aren't wanted. Snotty people are everywhere. The best way to deal with them is to ask them in front of everyone what exactly they meant and watch them condemn themselves with their own words.

@AdorableFloof1999

Жыл бұрын

It's not about tone or looks or anything that gives context to what people actually want. If someone says to a neurotypical person in an obviously friendly tone "You can come if you want" that person is likely going to take it as the invitation it is. The same phrase to a neurodivergent person, people with ADHD, Autism, etc, is almost always going to perceive it as a rejection because it wasn't phrased in a way such as "We'd like if you came" which is another way of invitation but it states they want you there clearly without the need to perceive tone or some other thing neurodivergent people can have issues understand.

@ResidentMilf

Жыл бұрын

I was diagnosed ADHD over 30 years ago, and I was today years old when I learned that this is a symptom of ADHD and not some weird, insecure thing I do.

@SoManyRandomRamblings

Жыл бұрын

@@AdorableFloof1999 yes so true. I am on the spectrum and i can confirm.

@SoManyRandomRamblings

Жыл бұрын

@@paulagoeringer9466 I know you didn't mean to....but your comment was dismissive of actual issues people are truly dealing with. Please consider that not everyone's mind works like yours.

Here is a rule of thumb, If your spouse tells you they want an open marriage, you are already in one, you just don't know it yet.

@paulagoeringer9466

Жыл бұрын

Yep.🔥

@FishAnvil

Жыл бұрын

I grew up in a household where my parents were swingers/had an open marriage. It was awful, always having to find other places to stay, getting screamed at for not having enough friends to stay with or not wanting to babysit the other couple's kids, always finding the aftermath of whatever happened in me and my brother's rooms. I can go on and on but in short it tore every family involved apart. If you aren't a monogamous couple and you have kids, I hope you at least think the night terrors and trauma from all the neglect is worth it. If anyone proposes an open marriage, they already have someone in mind or are already cheating, divorce them immediately, especially if your kids are going to be abused due to it. Both OP and her husband are awful, disgusting deplorable child abusers for dumping their kids on the other because they value sex more than them. I hope they get therapy in the coming years, the revelation that your parents love sex more than you is life-shattering, and it hits hard enough to make you want to kill yourself. That's not a joke either, I was the kid they found bleeding to death in a dumpster at 15. If you have any sense of morality, don't force your kids to go through what I did. It'll take years of therapy (if they survive) and even for me, my husband still has to hold me when I start bawling at night.

@treehugger0241

Жыл бұрын

Agreed. If it's something discussed earlier in the relationship, at the very least prior to marriage, then it's a different story. But if that's sprung on you out of the blue then it's definitely reason to be suspicious.

@paulagoeringer9466

Жыл бұрын

@@FishAnvil I'm glad you survived. Too many don't and nobody talks about it. Mine weren't swingers but abusive in different ways. The scars on your mind and emotions are something else. You have someone who loves you I hope he loves you forever. You deserve so much love.💕🕊️

@Sorchia56

Жыл бұрын

@@paulagoeringer9466 So do you, love! Live the beautiful, brilliant life you’re meant too!! ❤️🍀🍀🍀🍀

That husband is a real piece of work... He didn't think his wife would pursue her end of the open marriage.

@JimmySpace69

Жыл бұрын

All men own their wives and spouses 💪

@Connor-ONeill

Жыл бұрын

@Ligma Male Spoken like a true manlet.

@madeline6951

Жыл бұрын

@@JimmySpace69 spoken like a true lambda male

@Nekulturny

Жыл бұрын

@@JimmySpace69 And thats why your mommy still cooks your meals for you.

@RandomPerson-nd2ey

Жыл бұрын

@@JimmySpace69 "own"? No. Have an invested interest in? Yes. There's a difference and not understanding that will lead to an ugly divorce where you're deservedly raked over the coals. I don't "own" my wife but I have invested time, money, energy, etc heavily in her as she has with me. We both still have autonomy. By the way, you sound like one of those guys who defends him being Single by wanting women to meet certain standards when you don't meet enough of their's to justify it.

It's always hilarious when the partner that pushes for an open relationship gets everything blown up in their face. I think Op hit the nail on the head with what she said about her husband's sudden change about her participation in the open marriage that HE suggested. It's just ironic how he asked her "am I not enough for you anymore" when her seemingly not being enough for him is the exact reason why they are in the position they're in now.

@TJDious

Жыл бұрын

Some serious Wile E Coyote stuff there.

@FishAnvil

Жыл бұрын

I wouldn't mind this story if they didn't have kids. They've already turned it into a game of who can dump the kids onto the other so they can go have loveless sex. I grew up in a household where my parents were swingers/had an open marriage. It was awful, always having to find other places to stay, getting screamed at for not having enough friends to stay with or not wanting to babysit the other couple's kids, always finding the aftermath of whatever happened in me and my brother's rooms. I can go on and on but in short it tore every family involved apart. If you aren't a monogamous couple and you have kids, I hope you at least think the night terrors and trauma from all the neglect is worth it. If anyone proposes an open marriage, they already have someone in mind or are already cheating, divorce them immediately, especially if your kids are going to be abused due to it. Both OP and her husband are awful, disgusting deplorable child abusers for dumping their kids on the other because they value sex more than them. I hope they get therapy in the coming years, the revelation that your parents love sex more than you is life-shattering, and it hits hard enough to make you want to kill yourself. That's not a joke either, I was the kid they found bleeding to death in a dumpster at 15. If you have any sense of morality, don't force your kids to go through what I did. It'll take years of therapy (if they survive) and even for me, my husband still has to hold me when I start bawling at night.

@mrcaterpillow9926

Жыл бұрын

@@FishAnvil Okay but not to like undermine your experiences or anything. However things like that doesn't always happen. Parents usually find ways to dump their kids with a grandparent or daycare so that the parents can have time alone together. Poly relationships can work, so long as both of the parents are open and accepting of their partner and work together with their children. There is a lot more care in a poly relationship, than a mono relationship.

@FishAnvil

Жыл бұрын

@@mrcaterpillow9926 I don't know anything about poly so I can't really comment on that, just open relationships/marriages. Poly is where you're in a committed relationship with multiple people and your partners are also partners. Open relationships are an excuse to cheat on your partner but gaslight them into thinking they're the problem.

@michamocha

Жыл бұрын

@@FishAnvil Having the other parent _parent_ the kids while the other is busy doing whatever isn't child abuse. I feel for your situation, I truly do but it is not the same as what is going on in the story. Op isn't neglecting her children or leaving them to fend for themselves, she is simply arranging her schedule around whether or not her husband would be free to stay home or not while she has her night out. Saying that is like calling parents who find babysitters for their kids so they can have a night to themselves abusers for doing so. Op has not once implied and stated that her children are being neglected here. Open relationships are simply people who are okay with their parent seeing other people, which if they are consenting adults that are fine with it, go them. People who uses it as permission to cheat on their partner, however, is a completely separate issue in of itself.

Story 3: a bullet? She dodged a tactical nuke! Hope she finds someone who genuinely cares for her and loves her.

@thetruth1816

Жыл бұрын

"Have a boy or else " lol like wtf was that dofus thinking??

@Zalem89

Жыл бұрын

@@thetruth1816 Hi this is the 16th century, we would like the man who jumped time back thank you.

@animeotaku307

Жыл бұрын

@@thetruth1816 Nah, it was “there better not be any girls or else!”

@thetruth1816

Жыл бұрын

@@Zalem89 lol 16th century or 5th world countries..

@rowanjonez

Жыл бұрын

not a nuke, she dodged a fucking solar storm

"Don't think of it as wasting nine years, think of it as getting back all those years you would've wasted on that douchebag!" Rslash, I left a relationship that I'd invested a lot of myself in not too long ago. I spent years on this person, and I felt like I'd wasted so much time. That sentence just hit me like a truck in the best way. Thank you for that ❤️

@breezy3392

Жыл бұрын

Go live the rest of your life happy that you cut the dead weight

@Dice-Z

Жыл бұрын

The sunk cost fallacy is really tough to escape eh? Well, try not to worry about it, it's usually worth discarding a time, emotional or money investment that just isn't worth it anymore and shows no sign of changing for the better in the future.

The womb story. That was not a bullet she dodged. That was an artillery shell.

@nationalinstituteofcheese3012

Жыл бұрын

Love how he’s mocking her for running away from a potential rapist

@crystalgemgirl731

Жыл бұрын

Does he realize that the gender of the baby is dependent on the genes of the father?

@SomePersonWhooseScrollingOnYT

Жыл бұрын

Not an artillery shell, a nuclear bomb

@nick-brothwood

Жыл бұрын

@@SomePersonWhooseScrollingOnYT She just dodged an exterminatus.

@soulofflame9999

Жыл бұрын

​@Nick Brothwood not an exterminatus, she dodged a fucking nuclear holocaust

What they say: "I want an open marriage!" What they really mean: "I want to cheat on you without any consequences, but don't you dare do the same to me!"

@strawberrysoulforever8336

Ай бұрын

I hope there are some relationships where the case is "I love you with all my heart and soul, but I want to explore my sex life with more partners and I don't mind if you do the same."

Congratulations to the woman in the last story. As a survivor of domestic violence I can tell her firsthand she was so smart to leave. And she didn't "waste" her time. She learned what to look out for so it doesn't happen to her again. She will be much more aware next time. I wish her all the best. Thanks for posting these stories. It helps people realize they are not the only ones struggling with issues that leave them feeling isolated.

Laughing my ass off at the husband in the first story.

@josh4601

Жыл бұрын

I couldn't laugh at it, it was fucking sad, think of their kids. Husband thought he could handle it, turns out he couldn't, wife said "Well, either we leave it open or divorce" I can see both sides here... Imagine, woman comes home, "hey... neither of us have had sex for years, we both are pent up and need to get it out, how about we open it up?" chick gets laid a bunch, dude finds special chick he's into, it's amazing, she scratches every itch he's ever had. woman is crying, terrified of losing her husband, realises she can't do it. "Can we please close the relationship again?" "Nah, i like screwing this other chick, if you want me, i gotta be able to fill her up too, either that or divorce me!" Not to mention dudes get screwed over way harder in divorce... "either let me keep fucking this dude, or pay out your ass for a divorce and never see the kids again!"

@JimmySpace69

Жыл бұрын

All men own their wives and spouses 💪

@guardiandarkness5345

Жыл бұрын

R/Slash forgot the part where the husband tried to sabotage her next date by acting like OP was having an affair and showing ahem "Proof"(fake texts) to the date.

@rylashadow18

Жыл бұрын

@@JimmySpace69 Let me guess you're single and eating the paint chips off your mom's basement walls?

@FishAnvil

Жыл бұрын

I grew up in a household where my parents were swingers/had an open marriage. It was awful, always having to find other places to stay, getting screamed at for not having enough friends to stay with or not wanting to babysit the other couple's kids, always finding the aftermath of whatever happened in me and my brother's rooms. I can go on and on but in short it tore every family involved apart. If you aren't a monogamous couple and you have kids, I hope you at least think the night terrors and trauma from all the neglect is worth it. If anyone proposes an open marriage, they already have someone in mind or are already cheating, divorce them immediately, especially if your kids are going to be abused due to it. Both OP and her husband are awful, disgusting deplorable child abusers for dumping their kids on the other because they value sex more than them. I hope they get therapy in the coming years, the revelation that your parents love sex more than you is life-shattering, and it hits hard enough to make you want to kill yourself. That's not a joke either, I was the kid they found bleeding to death in a dumpster at 15. If you have any sense of morality, don't force your kids to go through what I did. It'll take years of therapy (if they survive) and even for me, my husband still has to hold me when I start bawling at night.

That last one sounds like a nightmare... I'm familiar with the awful feeling you get when it dawns on you that your partner isn't the person you thought they were. It's scary af.

@RiveroftheWither

Жыл бұрын

I'm honestly surprised he hid such gross views for 9 years, he all but directly stated that a husband owns his wife and is free to grape (KZread doesn't like the actual word) her and impregnate her against her will. There must have been red flags earlier that op missed.

So the guy in the first story is like “I want to see other women, but don’t want to get caught cheating or lose everything in a divorce. . . So I’ll just suggest opening the marriage and be drowning in loose woman while my wife will just sit at home knowing she can’t do better than me! What could possible go wrong?” And just because the OP hasn’t gotten anything from her husband; don’t think that he has been sitting celibate that whole time.

@JimmySpace69

Жыл бұрын

All men own their wives and spouses 💪

@fnjesusfreak

Жыл бұрын

In fact there's a good chance that OP hasn't gotten anything from her husband BECAUSE he hasn't been sitting celibate.

@FishAnvil

Жыл бұрын

Open marriages are just an excuse to cheat.

My brother had a terrible teacher and in turn I had her as well. My parents didn’t believe my brother nor I about her. It wasn’t until my dad went on a field trip with my class that he got a taste of her. The first thing she did when she walked in was to scream shut up. All the parents were there and everything. My dad gave me a look and thankfully decided my sister wouldn’t be in the class.

Dude I could not stop laughing at the husband in the first story like the fact that he literally had the audacity to like play Op with his bull crap about how he needs to have sex with somebody else if not it's going to drive him crazy and this and that and you know once Op gives exactly what he wants he gets jealous at the fact that technically she gets a free pass to cheat but once he realizes that she can get with better men that make her feel appreciated he knows he's going to lose his wife during her open relationship and there goes their marriage Up in Flames which I hate to say it he's the one who decided to hold it over a fireplace throw it into the fireplace the very moment she said yes and acting like he has any right whatsoever to close it and then try to pull the whole entire but we're married and we shouldn't do this and now you're not making me love you and what happened to the woman I fell in love with so long ago which is a load of crap coming from his mouth and I'm glad Op put her foot down and herself stood up to her husband and told him sorry for getting a divorce and he has the audacity even then to call her cold hearted but yet this dude wanted her free pass to smash some ass but Op can't get her dick on

@cassandravonpohl942

Жыл бұрын

"not the woman I married" = "not a doormat anymore"

@albertgongora6944

Жыл бұрын

I'm glad to hear that you're no longer in that situation where you felt that that person had the power to take advantage of you and I'm not going to lie like when I also hear these stories and anybody's stories it's really upsetting like neither one you have the person talking about how their husband or wife wants an open relationship or the original poster turns out to be the one that ruined their relationship when this happens to them they try to ask how do I fix this or how do I get out of the situation and it's just like if you feel that somebody forced you into an open relationship and you found somebody better put with the better person if you ruined your relationship that's on you and there's never going to be a thing you can do to fix it and it's kind of sad that those are the only two outcomes of these type of stories because I do get that there are some people that can move past the situations and work on their marriage through counseling and all that but to me that be so hard because all the secrets all the lies all the half-truths that's so much to not know if that's what you're going to go through

First story: Good for her! Silly man, thinking he's able to have a harem. Last story: Good for her! Silly man, trying to be misogynistic and showing his red flags. She should be happy he finally showed his true colors. Imagine if she was already married to him and this happened.

@TheMadagascarqueen

Жыл бұрын

There's another update in the first story, but it's not good.

First Story: From what it seems, OP’s husband wanted to be the only one to have sex with other women and for OP to not have sex with other men. OP’s husband mad that OP don’t want to go back to being a closed marriage. OP’s husband got the karma he deserved Second Story, NTA: That teacher is horrible. Who singles out and calls out a 9 year old for something she can’t control. I wouldn’t want to have my kid around a horrible teacher like that. That principle is absoultely useless lol Third Story: OP needs to get away from this garbage man. He should NOT be a father and he should NOT be a husband. This guy wouldn’t love his own kid if it was a daughter because he can’t handle periods and a woman’s sex life? Also, he implied that he will in a sense rape OP. OP dodged a nuke

@JimmySpace69

Жыл бұрын

All men own their wives and spouses 💪

@xKCAZxLEADER

Жыл бұрын

@@JimmySpace69 are u joking or are u being serious?

@JimmySpace69

Жыл бұрын

@@xKCAZxLEADER I am serious🗿

@xKCAZxLEADER

Жыл бұрын

@@JimmySpace69 then I strongly disagree with that sexist bullshit. Btw I’m a man

@austindiaz6767

Жыл бұрын

@@JimmySpace69 are enrolled in hustlers university

That last one was so wild, and I find it hard to believe that the husband has *never* been openly misogynistic before. Everything he’s said from, “Not wanting to deal with all that,” to telling her that she won’t have a choice and actually threatening r*pe/forced pregnancy and being that comfortable saying it to his own wife- that doesn’t just exist in a vacuum.

Last story: I was in a relationship for 12 YEARS with a narcissistic abuser and I also heard the same shit that her ex spewed to her. Trust me, the 9 years will seem like a blip soon enough.

@AngelinaParker

Жыл бұрын

Better 9 years wasted than 18 years in parental hell with children you don't even want because someone forced you to have them

I'm 65 now and I can still remember what my 5th grade teacher said to me. Don't apologize for advocating for your children, it's possibly the single most important thing you can do for them, always wanting the best for them.

God, to see that mother being defending her kids and asking for a different teacher is such a refreshing thing. When I was a kid my mom would never defend me, or be on my side. Specially when it came to school issues. She's a teacher so she thinks every teacher is better than me and has the right to treat me like shit. Now I'm not in school anymore, I'm in college. Everything I study is online bc i went through some trauma, in middle school. I was 18 when my mother realized I wasn't lying. It would have been so much easier for me if I had someone on my side

@brodzilla623fordawin4

Жыл бұрын

I feel sorry for ya

@maddydavidsdottir9862

Жыл бұрын

Ah, the Joy's of growing up with a narcissistic parent (I say that with all the sarcasm in the world) my narc mum wanted to be a teacher, she never did cause, of course, that was my fault for being born when she was 18 and then it was my fault again when I stood up for myself and had her arrested for literally kicking me out of a moving car 🙄🤷🏼‍♀️ she never believed the teachers were treating me like crap either or that I was getting bullied at school so bad they actually tried to set fire to me (students, not teachers) although my home room teacher told me I deserved it for "stirring the pot" which is code for "how dare you stand up to them" all because my dad went to that school and was a little shit, my family were poor and the girls families were rich, I was a "know it all" because I like to learn and my NMs fave punishment when I was 6 was to make me read the bible and the dictionary word for word and growing up we had these big heavy books, it was a collection edition of thesaurus, right from A to Z and probably the most expensive books we owned lol and I used to read them for fun (It's how I developed a love for science) throw in the added fact I'm autistic and all of us kids were taught languages from a young age and at the time of high school, I knew 6 languages fluently and 3 languages intermediate (plus we were a multilingual home. My mum was Norwegian german with russian family, my dad was Norwegian English with romanichal gypsy family and I'm Norwegian with a jigsaw family lol) and I was the "outcast" because I'm a goth (fck you miss scarffe, it wasnt a phase after all) everyone always "knew better" so when I wouldnt lie down and play doormat, instead of accepting they were at fault they "kicked me out" basically told me and my mum i was expelled but told the school district i was still a pupil so they kept getting money for me and i couldnt apply to other schools. Karma did catch up with them and i ended up going to a wonderful catholic school with teachers who nurtured my uniqueness and pushed me to excel. I ended up walking away with 12 GCSE'S all A* to C and 1 GCSE at a D (I'm mathematically dyslexic) then i moved back to Norway and things got better away from my NM

@Ariplaygames

Жыл бұрын

She probably was a terrible teacher too if she didnt care for her own kid.

@miacarvalho8732

Жыл бұрын

@@Ariplaygames you would think that, right? However, I don't know if it's true, bc we still live in the same area and she is really loved. I feel like is more personal. She put me in a religious school ( that's our family religion) and it was a very expensive one. She fully trusted the school and everyone who worked there. She herself had worked there. She's always telling stories about how she defended students from creepy teachers, but when it happened to me she never believed me. There are many other reasons why, but the religion part was the major factor. Now I'm pregnant with my first child and I'm so worried about schools cause I don't trust them. How am I supposed to leave my boy alone there?

@miacarvalho8732

Жыл бұрын

@@brodzilla623fordawin4 thank you

I've read and heard a few stories about the open marriage idea and there is one thing that is in common with all these stories. The open marriage ideas usually come from the husband but they are always so surprised when their wife stars doing the dance with no pants with other guys, it's just so stupid these guys don't think ahead at all they see something they want and a way to get it but they don't think of the consequences.

@nzuria8135

Жыл бұрын

Unrelated, but 'dance with no pants' got such a giggle-snort out of me as I was scrolling through the comments

@TheMysterieRPGguy

Жыл бұрын

@@nzuria8135 Glad I could make you laugh.

@12yroldedgelord41

Жыл бұрын

Nah, it's usually women. Reddit I a very unreliable place to take in information and even in reddit, this is more common in women, they just typically get less upvotes

@nzuria8135

Жыл бұрын

@@12yroldedgelord41 every story I've heard, from reddit or otherwise, is the man suggesting an open marriage then getting upset that their wife found another guy to tango with. Open relationships only work if both people go into the partnership fully knowing and consenting to this fact. For example, my partner is polyamorus and I am not. But we talked about it as soon as we started dating and I was fine with it because I'd rather them be able to fulfill themselves even if I wasn't the type for multiple partners.

@tomschmidt5022

Жыл бұрын

My last girlfriend and I was going through a rough patch and hadn`t done the horizontal mambo for 2 months, then she dropped the I-want-an-open-relationship-bomb on me …. Immediate dealbreaker for me and i dropped her like a bad habit

Who in their right mind wants to be with a guy who says he doesn't want to have a daughter because he "wouldn't be able to relate to her"?

@RekiTheRyvian

Жыл бұрын

Not just that he doesn't relate to her, but that "he couldn't relate to her sex life". As if that isn't incredibly weird and borderline creepy.

@fdm2155

Жыл бұрын

Yeah, that was weird. And what's he gonna do if you have ONLY girls? Was just reading that actor Sidney Poitier had SIX daughters and no sons.

@AngelinaParker

Жыл бұрын

@@RekiTheRyvian and why is he even thinking about his hypothetical daughter's sex life anyways? That's creepy and gross af. And shows the type of person he truly is.

@SoullessGinger1313

Жыл бұрын

I don't know why he'd say that. I am not able to relate to him.

@MyFiddlePlayer

Жыл бұрын

What he is saying is that he can't relate to p****** receptacles. That's how he thinks of females, including OP. Amazing that it takes so long for some people to figure that out about their partner, but better now than after you get married.

The story where the guy is losing his mind on her for not wanting kids if he can’t love a daughter and I mean my jaw DROPPED. She dodged a HUGE bullet oh my god. Like I am shook for her.

idk if it's just me, but rslash doing best of redditor updates, is my favorite subreddit because then we can see some aftermath. nothing better than nuclear revenge except getting an update about it lol

@1kili2

Жыл бұрын

same! like i love the stories normally but bestof makes it even better because you get the update and resulotion to the r/aita and r/relationship stories

That first story I’m just going to quote Jeff Foxworthy. “If someone tells you ‘we should see other people’, they have already cut a pony from the herd and if they ain’t riding it yet, they have pulled the saddle out of the barn!”

“B-But when I said i wanted the relationship open, I just meant😢that i wanted to sleep around😢🥺😫what do you mean you’re sleeping with someone too?!” 🙄 the audacity

Story 1: The wife better put the truth out there, but her husband tells lies and act like the victim. The last story: He would blame her, if all she has was girls. Then he would expect her to have more children until he got a boy. Along with her being a stay at home wife and mother.

@animeotaku307

Жыл бұрын

And he’d be awful to those girls. Thank God OP got the hell out of there.

@RiveroftheWither

Жыл бұрын

And if any boys didn't act like he thinks boys should be, he would neglect or be cruel to them, possibly physically abusive to "toughen them up and make them men". If any of them came out as not straight or cisgender, he would disown them and kick them out of the house.

@pompe221

Жыл бұрын

I could easily see him pressuring OP to terminate any pregnancy that was a girl. Or possibly arranging for her to have an "accident" to make her lose the girl baby. She dodged a freaking warhead.

Okay, the “hostage womb” story… yeah, it’s his decision on whether or not he has kids, but it’s her decision on whether or not those kids will be with her. Take care now, bye bye then

@thenightmaricsenpai524

Жыл бұрын

"Hasta la vista, jackass!"

@PikachuLittle

Жыл бұрын

Silly, that’s what the Sex Dungeon is for

@SeraliaAerials

Жыл бұрын

@@PikachuLittle that’s a yikes from me, my dude.

@MyFiddlePlayer

Жыл бұрын

​@PikachuLittle I doubt if he'd be that blatant about it. He would just refuse to use protection, or damage the condoms, or "stealth" her. That sounds more his speed.

Not everyone can handle open relationships. You have to be able to be comfortable with a lot of new dynamics, like "This person give my parter a thing I can't, and that's chill."

@Dice-Z

Жыл бұрын

Open relationships don't work if you are a dumbass, an asshole, abusive, or an insecure dude who wants a cheat pass but thinks he owns his wife but turns out she can actually stand up for herself. Unfortunately for him and fortunately for her, the dude didn't get the memo.

in pretty much every case i've heard about, the moment the relationship is "opened" (cheating is allowed) The relationship eventually fails.

@Nekulturny

Жыл бұрын

Yeah but most relationships eventually fail. I think its as useless to point out as when people start going "oh, this is what makes empires fall (some modern political issue someone wants to complain about), yeah... but ALL OF THEM have fallen, and for different reasons, so is that really the cause though?

@slimej2202

Жыл бұрын

The same goes for marriage, or any relationship. Because you're on the Internet and "something went terribly wrong" is more clickable than "everything's going fine." Nothing is inherently wrong with open marriages or polygamy. It can just go very wrong; same as marriages themselves.

@Scarlett.Granger

Жыл бұрын

@@slimej2202 it's not about polygamy, thats fine and works out well in some stories even here on reddit - but being monogamous and THEN later opening the marriage because some stupid excuse, that never works out.

@slimej2202

Жыл бұрын

@@Scarlett.Granger I'm sure it has worked out many times. And I'm sure it hasn't just as many. You're just asserting without evidence on a topic you can't possibly know everything about. Humans are weird and there's no one hard rule to them, especially when it comes to relationships.

@josh4601

Жыл бұрын

@@Nekulturny Smells of cope tbh. Open relationships have ruined every single relationship i've heard of them in. Friends, family, and online. I've never heard one story of an open relationship with a good ending

Last story, I'm so glad when I hear about how a holes like this tell on themselves before someone get committed to them with marriage, kids, or a home. Saves people like Op before they get stuck. Glad she got out of it and hope he keeps telling on himself to future women in his life

That creature (I refuse to call that a man) in the last story... HOLY S---! Yeah, I could totally see him locking OP up in a room, chained to something and without access to any form of communication with the outside world, while he forced himself on her and forced her to bear his children in that room. He'd probably even abandon/kill any baby girls born this way and keep trying until he got his two boys. And no, I can't make that up: there are real life stories similar to that. OP didn't dodge a bullet: she dodged a NUKE.

@myheartismadeofstars

Жыл бұрын

I recently found out about a guy in china who had eight kids with no wife in sight...turned out she was chained in a shed out back kept as a breeding machine and beaten (she had been sold into "marriage" to him) I think the story could be even WORSE than what you described

@arielruh7773

Жыл бұрын

@@myheartismadeofstars oh my God, that's terrible that poor woman

Rslash's very first r/Bestof story featured a story like the 1st one. Man wanted an open relationship, he only hooked up with his work secretary while wife got plenty of matches and hookups. He got upset at his wife for "cheating" when he was the one who wanted an open relationship. However, the update included plenty of family drama where each set of parents and grandparents blamed the other for the failing marriage

My wife and I started seeing other people together in 2016. In 2018 her best friend from high school confessed love for both of us. We are now a triad marriage. We also have a male friend who occasionally comes over, about once a month. It's lovely. Everyone is happy, loved and fulfilled. Both of my wives are incredible and I couldn't imagine my life without them. Their "boytoy" as they call him is a great friend of mine and we often hit the bar or spend days at the racetrack together. (We both own sports cars that are heavily modified.) It's 2022, communicate with your partner and throw tradition out the window. Live your best life because you only get one.

@DayDreamingWriters

Жыл бұрын

Its nice to read story of Poly relationships that works Well ^^

@SoManyRandomRamblings

Жыл бұрын

It's all about the humans involved. Some people have the ability to do it, others do not. Super glad y'all found your system. Wish all of you the best of luck on your continued journey.

@BloodInTheStrawberries

Жыл бұрын

This is so wholesome, I hope you four are all happy for years to come. 🥺💗

@knolsey

Жыл бұрын

@@DayDreamingWriters we often speak of expanding our relationship into a commune with a foundation in love. Doubt it'll ever happen but I don't believe I could go back to non-intermingled relationships. All three of our families have embraced our relationship (though they do not know about the "boytoy" friend. All three sets of parents are called mom/dad by all of us. We have even planned out children and are hoping to have two total, one with each woman. They'd like to have them as close together as possible and I've already started asking if I should flip a coin or run back and forth if they go into labor at the same time. 🤣

@knolsey

Жыл бұрын

@@BloodInTheStrawberries I'm sure our male who isn't a romantic member rather a form of friends with benefits will eventually move on as everyone wants that special relationship for themselves. Surely our friendship will continue and it will be solely his decision if he discloses our past with his future spouse. Not sure what we'll do moving forward from then but no matter how it goes I know we will be happy. May you also find the most fulfilling love of your dreams.

S1 - Update to this, the husband told J that OP was cheating. This caused J to dump her. Hubby was happy, but didn’t expect OP’s friend setting her up w/ someone else. Later, she met up w/ J to clarify everything. She had the texts as proof, & he believed her. However, J admitted that he had feelings for her, & couldn’t be in their agreement anymore. She understood & let him go. Many more updates later, OP stays w/ Hubby. She’s secretly hoping that he’ll wake up to what he’s done. Her reasoning? She’s the child of divorced parents & doesn’t want that for her kids. S2 - Bad teachers are a serious threat to kids. OP’s daughter will struggle w/ body issues for the rest of her life. So, yeah. It’s normal to want to keep D2 away from that. She’s a good mom, who did what she had to do to protect her kids. S3 - OP just straight up saved her life. Those are not threats to be taken lightly. I do not doubt that the fiancé would’ve only gotten worse over time. He probably would’ve literally killed her one day.

@PugGrumbler

Жыл бұрын

I agree with you about the parent in story 2 but it seems like people are forgetting the fact the the kid was repeatedly taking off her shoes even after being reprimanded for it and it’s not like the other students weren’t smelling the odor. I agree that the teacher should’ve handled it differently but why should d1 be catered to at the price of all the other students being distracted by her bad habit? I’ve had classes with kids with bad hygiene and it was miserable

@TheOddityFair

Жыл бұрын

@@PugGrumbler Point taken. Deal w/ the bad habit in a non-toxic way. However, it doesn’t change the fact that the teacher did not do that.

@PugGrumbler

Жыл бұрын

@@TheOddityFair true but to be fair to her she tried originally however it was immature of the teacher to escalate it instead of going to the parent

Yeah, the teacher thing really got to me cause all it takes is one bad teacher to mess a kid up for life. I went through school with undiagnosed ADD and anxiety, and when things got rough like I wasn't paying attention in class and the teacher would call on me suddenly, or if I didn't have my homework, my mind's defense was shutting down completely where I would be unable to speak or really do anything. It was something I had 0 control over but all my teachers just thought I was faking it. I didn't really blame any of them until I was in middle school, where a lot of stuff went down and the experience basically turned me from an extroverted kid who didn't take crap from bullies, to an extreme introvert with depression and self confidence issues. Bad teachers can have life altering consequences for a kid, and if you have a feeling that teacher may treat your kid poorly, you are a great parent for trying to avoid that.

The principle from the second story is not super surprising. I went to a school that treated me like dirt for years. I was bullied by both students and teachers for being the quiet English girl in a French school. When my parents finally snapped after I woke up screaming from nightmares after a particular teacher yelled at me for fifteen minutes for something I didn’t do and made me apologize instead of trying to figure out what had actually happened, they went to the school and complained and eventually took me out of that school. My mom got a call from the principle who told my mom I would never make any friends. I had friends the first day I got to the new school and went from failing to straight A’s within a couple of years. Nowadays if you talk about your kid having issues at a young age people in town ask if it was “that school” as many kids came out of that school seriously behind in their learning because of how toxic it was.

When a wife has kids with her husband, he should be grateful that she is sacrificing her body to have kids with him. Those stretch marks are proof that they love each other. I’m very happy and loving my wife is the best part of my life.

@JimmySpace69

Жыл бұрын

All men own their wives and spouses 💪

@papabear1333

Жыл бұрын

@@JimmySpace69 😂😂

@ThingInTheHall

2 ай бұрын

​@@JimmySpace69you're either a troll or in desperate need to touch grass

@ThingInTheHall

2 ай бұрын

Happy marriage, have fun. Totally agree. She's putting herself through a lot to give you 2 your offspring. That's a giant commitment.

Story #2 - I agree with RSlash, that principle didn’t do anything because it was to hard to switch classes. They didn’t do anything because they’re lazy. They don’t deserve to be a principal.

@MyFiddlePlayer

Жыл бұрын

Also, OP is something of a doormat. Glad she finally found her spine in time to protect her second child, too bad she couldn't find it to protect her first.

Relationships 101: If your SO/spouse wants to open your closed relationship, 9 out of 10 times they want to be able to cheat on you and that way it's technically not cheating

The “hostage womb” story: Him screaming at her like that and threatening to do things to her and following her out while yelling at her to/for running had ME scared. Damn I’m glad she got help and he can’t hurt her anymore 😥

Dang imagine crying when you’ve slept with way more women than she has with men 😭

@JimmySpace69

Жыл бұрын

All men own their wives and spouses 💪

@RX78-2Gundam

Жыл бұрын

@@JimmySpace69 tf is wrong with u m8

@RiveroftheWither

Жыл бұрын

@@RX78-2Gundam He's just goofing, don't worry. The "Ligma" is a play both on guys that identify as "Sigma males" and the Ligma balls= lick my balls joke.

@josephinenelan4204

Жыл бұрын

Well, some people are selfish pigs.

@RX78-2Gundam

Жыл бұрын

@@josephinenelan4204 yep

Story 2: Wording is everything to me, and I'm not a teacher myself. So from what I'm hearing, the teacher told the student to keep her shoes on during class privately. Understandable. Don't know how she said it but if it's anything like other teachers I've talked to, it probably wasn't harsh. It very well could've been, but I'm not sure. Then, later on, the student took them off again. If this was the first time after the private conversation, the teacher is rude. But knowing kids, it likely wasn't. At that point, the teacher told the student infront of the class to put her shoes on. Every teacher I've ever met would've done the same in that instance. Sometimes embarrassment is the only way kids learn to stop behavior frowned upon. My teachers have handled it similarly from kindergarten to senior year. Is the teacher a jerk? If her wording was harsher than the story made it appear, then sure. But otherwise, no. She made a rule for the student and the student ignored it. Is the mom a jerk? No, as she reserves the right on who she wants teaching her child. But still, I don't really see anyone in the wrong here besides maybe the principals snide remarks

@THEDubbleHelixx

Жыл бұрын

The teacher shouldn't have made comments about the way a student smells, because those kind of body issues stay with you. But yea, the whole time I was wondering why the girl kept taking off her shoes in class. That's typically not allowed in a lot of classrooms I've been in, smells or not.

@JimLambier

Жыл бұрын

My wife is a teacher and I know that a lot of work goes into deciding which kids go into which class. There are many meetings and hours of work that go into the process. I'm sure that the teachers and principal were not pleased that their time was wasted simply because her daughter couldn't keep her shoes on and that mom had connections with the school board. In the end some other kid was forced to change classroom so this family could get their way. How is this fair?

@Callsign_Reaper4

Жыл бұрын

@@THEDubbleHelixx I agree but from the sound of it, the teacher spoke on that matter in private and the public instance she simply told the student to put her shoes back on infront of everyone. If she said specifically because they smell infront of the students, that would've been a step too far

@samlynn1652

Жыл бұрын

@@JimLambier I appreciate that teaching is hard and that effort goes into deciding class. But at the same time some teachers suck and parents need to demand better from them. This teacher sucked and the parent was perfectly reasonable to not want their child in their class. Not all teachers are good teachers. Not all teachers are good people. Not all teachers work for all students.

@sw4mpy

Жыл бұрын

@@THEDubbleHelixx I don't think the child was taking her shoes off tho, RSlash just misread / misinterpreted it. Bc the post said she was bouncing her leg while wearing flats, and then the teacher called her out, "prompting [the] child to put her foot down." Not anything about putting the shoe back on. So I think it was just the movement of her leg that caused the odor to spread. But still, like you said, the teacher shouldn't have called her out on such an embarrassing and seemingly uncontrollable issue in front of the class. Combine this with the comments made in private, how the child was "stinking up the classroom" (bc there's definitely a better, more compassionate way to say this to sensitive little kids), I can understand why the daughter and mother were upset.

Last story: Take this as a lesson that some people tend to miss: If you get engaged and suddenly your partner's behavior changes to controlling, entitled or toxic, that's most likely going to be your entire marriage and you should break it off.

First story. Him getting mad and throwing things when she told him what she thought was going on meant she was right and, clearly, he doesn't like being read like a book...

@paulagoeringer9466

Жыл бұрын

It's usually the complete morons that think they're geniuses. They can't understand how you can see through their b.s.

@RiveroftheWither

Жыл бұрын

There is actually another update and the husband literally contacted J, lied to him to break them up and immediately wanted to open the relationship again.

@DarkusZarvix

Жыл бұрын

@@RiveroftheWither Wow. what a guy... Wants to have and open relationship for himself but not for the wife. She needs to leave him ASAP.

Think I've known someone who treats basically anyone they get close to in a similar way as that husband in the first story, including just normal friends. Once they're sufficiently close to someone, they get bored of them and want to meet new people, with this sort of expectation that the existing people are just going to wait around for them to come back.

That first story was pretty close with what happened in my first marriage. My ex-wife suddenly wanted an open marriage. Now I had suspected her of cheating already since we hadn't been intimate in a long time. After much thought I finally agreed with very similar rules. Much like OP's husband my ex immediately started sleeping with who knows how many guys. I took it much slower to find someone I was attracted to. Also because I worked 60 hours a week and did all of the child care when I was home (she was starting to go out every single night.) Well when I finally slept with someone she threw a massive fit and accused me of cheating. When I asked her WTF she said "you weren't supposed to sleep with anyone." We divorced soon after. About 20 years later I find that she has gone through about 4 more marriages since then. Never get married too young.

If you don't feel comfortable with a monogamous relationship, that's completely fine. Everyone is different. HOWEVER, if you know this, don't get in to a relationship or marriage with a monogamous person. That's the most selfish and cruel thing you could do to someone.

@JimmySpace69

Жыл бұрын

All men own their wives and spouses 💪

@TheTiredGhost

Жыл бұрын

Yeah fr, I don’t think monogamy was this guys problem tho tbh, I think he just wanted to cheat and felt like a title would make it better, since he didn’t want her to do the same thing (Not saying open relationships in general are cheating btw, just this guy) But if he had these feelings before it’s rude as hell to keep it in the dark, and like you said selfish and cruel, telling the person before you become exclusive shouldn’t be that hard

"Not the sweet woman I married" translation: "Why aren't you a doormat anymore?"

I've noticed that ever time there's an open marriage story on reddit, it's the man who opens it because he wants a free pass to boink other women, but the second the wife actually does the same thing he panics because he thought it would only be him doing that and he has no idea how to handle an uno reverse card.

@justine8387

10 ай бұрын

This is sadly is the norm in most poly arrangements. This and "looking for a third" 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮

"I don't know what this guy expected" He expected to sleep with whoever he wanted without anything else changing.

The husband does understand that an open marriage means it's open both ways, right?

I, personally, have never heard of an open relationship that doesn’t end up with at least one of the partners becoming jealous and hurt.

I can't imagine my mornings without a little R/slash with my coffee

@JimmySpace69

Жыл бұрын

All men own their wives and spouses 💪

@thetruth1816

Жыл бұрын

@@JimmySpace69 grow the hell up spammer

@cecejamesable

Жыл бұрын

@@JimmySpace69 Your insecurity is putting me off my breakfast, continuing with this phrase and over again. We get it. You haven't been outside or seen an actual woman that wasn't related to you or from porn. We get it.

@rushoflife2368

Жыл бұрын

Mines a joint, but yes and yes.

@thisistherevolt

Жыл бұрын

@@rushoflife2368 Coffee and bong for me.

It's ALWAYS the person who opened the relationship that ends up wanting to close it. They don't WANT an open relationship, they want to cheat with permission and still come home to you and the monogamy.

@paulagoeringer9466

Жыл бұрын

He really thought it would work that way. Lol. He then tried to make her jealous and tried to sabotage her dates. Got butthurt when she actually went on one and threw a hissy fit like a little b. Then he found her attractive and thought he could lock her down. When it didn't work he imploded. Hahaha 🤣

@Graves933

Жыл бұрын

@@paulagoeringer9466 he thought giving her some attention would be enough to wrap her around him again to get another free year of just him being poly. I've seen it before, someone dosent care, sees you getting attention, and cries like a bitch. My ex did the same thing when HE was in a 3 yearr relationship and I was talking to someone.

@paulagoeringer9466

Жыл бұрын

@@Graves933 yeah he wanted her, he just didn't want anyone else to have her but he can do whatever he wants. Typical narcissist. My toy, nobody can play with it even if I don't want it.

@Graves933

Жыл бұрын

@@paulagoeringer9466 Exacty this.

it's officially been 2 years since i started watching / listening to rslash

@abdulrehmansiddiqui1734

Жыл бұрын

Me too

@TheOfficialHattyHattington

Жыл бұрын

CONGRATULATIONS

Second story: NTA but OP shouldnt have let her daughter wear flats if she had BO and bad foot odor. Flats are worn without socks and can exacerbate odor without socks absorbing sweat.

@BobaTEA-o7r

Жыл бұрын

I have known that, gaits help air out the feet because the fabric is thin. I used to have BO I started wearing flats and open toe shoes because it help air things out and gets your feet use to free air and stops them from smelling bad all the time. Most doctors would say to wear sandals to help properly air them out? Mine told me and my family that and it helped

@SherriLyle80s

Жыл бұрын

@@BobaTEA-o7r sandals are different than flats 💙 I live in Florida so Im perpetually sweaty 😂

@BobaTEA-o7r

Жыл бұрын

@@SherriLyle80s I know that, they both help air out feet. It did for me.

sounds like the husband in the 1st story wants a submissive servant and not an independent wife. he opened the can of worms by suggesting it knowing that he had no feelings or attachment to her 1ce so ever despite her evidently wanting to stay devoted to him but got pissy 1ce she grew more independent and he couldn't control her desires anymore. hypocrisy at its finest

@JimmySpace69

Жыл бұрын

All men own their wives and spouses 💪

@MartialArtswithLucyLu

Жыл бұрын

@@JimmySpace69 No they don't! What the heck are you on about?

@JimmySpace69

Жыл бұрын

@@MartialArtswithLucyLu Yes, they do

@MartialArtswithLucyLu

Жыл бұрын

@@JimmySpace69 That thinking is straight up disgusting and wrong here!

@JimmySpace69

Жыл бұрын

@@MartialArtswithLucyLu women like you are created to serve men

And this, ladies and gentlemen is why you have the kids talk early on in a relationship. Good lord

@lifewuzonceezr

Жыл бұрын

agreed!! 9 years!!???

@animeotaku307

Жыл бұрын

Yup. I always say I’m childfree on dating profiles and make it clear that I intend to stay that way.

@RiveroftheWither

Жыл бұрын

Maybe not the first few dates but definitely the moment you decide to be in an exclusive, serious relationship. You should discuss all the big life changes, career paths and finances, kids, living situations, stay at home parenting and if that's viable or desirable, everything. The thing is, based on what he said about how she wouldn't have a choice once they're married, he probably didn't want to discuss this stuff because he wanted to marriage trap her. He believes in this archaic and abusive notion that men own and control their wives and he was banking on marriage to force his will on her. He showed his intentions too early, thinking she wouldn't leave him while they were engaged.

@animeotaku307

Жыл бұрын

@@RiveroftheWither Thankfully he did. This could’ve been so much worse for OP.

The number of Men asking for an open mariage to see other girls and suddenly are angry and controlling when their wife sees other men is quite alarming.

The husband then called Jay and told him they never had an open marriage and Jay dumped op. Then the husband wanted to re open the marriage. The husband is a dog. And this story pisses me off

@JimmySpace69

Жыл бұрын

All men own their wives and spouses 💪

@blessingo7449

Жыл бұрын

To be fair, I think she's an idiot and should have left the moment he said he wanted an open marriage. The marriage was dead at that point.

Regarding the last story yeah that's a huge red flag and a saying I always tell people who want kids but isn't ready or just don't want a certain gender or mental disability than you're not ready for kids period

As somebody who is still struggling with the trauma of having a terrible teacher, I feel that the mother advocating for her daughter in the second story is in the right. My sixth grade teacher knew I had suffered through severe child abuse, including sexual abuse and when the counselling sessions at the school didn't work since she put me with a teacher who wasn't qualified to be a counsellor and who was just in her first year of psychology at university, she yelled at me in front of my classmates. All of my classmates learned that I was seeing the so called 'school counsellor' and the reasons for why. This still affects me to this day and I am now a grown adult and my trust with people, including mental health experts are practically non-existent. I wish that my mother removed me from this school and put me into another because this teacher just continued her bullying campaign afterwards. She would intentionally lose my homework assignments, called me stupid in front of the entire class, and then would ignore me if I needed help with something.

There was another post about this type of thing. The OP took heavy doses of a sleeping pill before bed. Her bf tried to cut out her implant with a box cutter thinking that she would sleep through it. Thankfully this OP didn't have to go through something like that.

@animeotaku307

Жыл бұрын

Holy shit! Definitely dodged a nuke, there. Good lord, it makes me almost wish that there was a blacklist for dating.

More r/bestof, please! This was such yummy drama! The last story, definitely a bullet dodged. He was watching too much Handmaid's Tale.

I’m late to the party, but the Body odor story hit a home run. I’ve never had foot odor but when I was in middle school/Early high school I couldn’t take showers. I wasn’t aloud to at home, for WEEKS [Mommy issues go burr] and it was SO embarrassing. A teacher never called me out on it, as I’m sure they knew how my mother was, but my classmates sure did. I HATED going to school because I was embarrassed and scared that the classmates would say something or pick on me again. It was out of my control, and it was terrible. So yea, good on that Mum who stood up for her kid. Stink isn’t something to be ashamed of, unless your actively not doing anything to fix it.

@PugGrumbler

Жыл бұрын

Or actively making it worse which the kid was, she was taking off her shoes in class

As a polyamorous person myself, I can confidently say that the first guy is abusing the open marriage thing and being selfish just to sleep around. There needs to be a lot of boundaries, fairness and open communication for it to work so nobody gets hurt. Jealousy is normal, but it's how you respond to it and work through it like adults that is the main thing. There's almost always something else underlying the jealousy that you can address and talk about with your partner. But you can't expect to have your way and for them to remain celibate.

First story: It would not surprise me if OP’s husband agreed to the open marriage to try and see if he could make her wife jealous with all the women he was getting. Then, the moment he found out that she found a man, he grew angry because he realized his idea failed.

The open marraige story. I get it the husband is like a kid Not wanting something until someone else wants it

@JimmySpace69

Жыл бұрын

All men own their wives and spouses 💪

@simonechalker2185

Жыл бұрын

No they don't, if you think that then woman own their husband and spouse too

Story two. I don’t see what the teacher did wrong. The daughter took her shoes off, she had stinky feet, and the teacher asked her to put her shoes back on. Furthermore, she took her aside and spoke to her privately, and the daughter still took her shoes off, so she had no choice but to ask her to put them back on and thank her for being compliant. Finally bad foot odor runs in the family is not an excuse to torment everyone else. She should have washed her daughters feet before sending her to school.

@LittleLexi24

9 ай бұрын

It’s weird to see her as a bad teacher when she never brings up the stink around other kids. Students shouldn’t have their shoes off during class unless there’s a medical reason, the teacher making sure she keeps them off also stops other kids from smelling her and then making fun of her.

@vikkran401

8 ай бұрын

Yeah exactly, like I fail to see whats so "rude" about the teacher? She announced it pubically? Its not like her and the entire class was already aware of it and also she did talk to the daughter in private, she refused to listen (prob cuz her entitled mom) So what else should the teacher have done?

First story is just poetic justice lol. Men like that will treat their gfs and wives like sh*t and then call them heartless for...not taking it anymore. Not getting aggressive, not being mean or vindictive. Just putting their foot down and refusing to put up with being mistreated.

OOF at that second story. When i was in 2nd grade, my teacher singled me out for being a "bad kid" with adhd and she went so far as to move my desk up against the blackboard and away from the other kids. It took half a year but eventually my mom had to go Full Karen to get me swapped to a nicer teacher. Then two years later she went into the school directly and said "i have another kid going into 2nd grade." And the principal said "already taken care of." Why do people who hate children go into a child-molding occupation. You wouldnt trust your baby with a pediatrician that said your child was annoying why would you trust a TEACHER

That first story makes me so mad. I’m polyamorous and yeah, there’s a learning curve and mistakes can happen, but this isn’t that, this is manipulative and underhanded, just another way to control your partner.

@spoopyvirgil4944

Жыл бұрын

It honestly makes me so upset that there's so many shitty people who just want to use polyamory/open relationships as a way to basically cheat because it ends up making all of us look bad. The loud minority feels like the loud majority when it comes to bad partners abusing polyamory/open relationships.

That last story, WUFF. That dude is clearly a fundamentalist and a gross one at that. Disgusting.

as someone who’s dealt with teachers treating siblings differently based on the first sibling- absolutely NTA!! I had a teacher who had issues with my parents and she proceeded to take it out on me and my younger brother, and even with my mom working in that same school they refused to switch my brother out of her class. I’m glad OP got her kid out of that situation.

Ok... so I was an elementary school teacher and I'm going to give you some perspective from both sides of the 2nd story. On one hand, the teacher was absolutely wrong for calling out the student, making her feel responsible for something she couldn't control and not taking the emotional well being of the child seriously. That is definitely a BAD teacher. But... I also blame the parent on this one too... If you have a genetic makeup that causes body odor, and you do not actively do something to help that when it comes to a public setting (not wearing opened toe-shoes, talk about why it might be best to put on powder, etc.) there can be a lot more problems than just a teacher making a comment...Kids can be brutally honest and cruel, ESPECIALLY in elementary school. When it comes to things that can affect the other kids in the classroom, such as smells (farting, burping, not cleaning oneself, unusual preteen body odor) this can often lead to ostracizing or hurtful comments... Sometimes teachers will try to circumvent this by talking with the parents to see if a compromise can be made so that it doesn't affect the emotional wellbeing of the child... But often parents take it as a direct attack on their parenting or the child itself. Most don't know what goes on in the daily classroom conversations and I've seen students be called out by other peers for smelling really bad or not wanting to be around them. It puts pressure on both the PARENTS and the TEACHER to get this resolved, but often than not, the teacher is blamed. I feel like OP could've left some more information out on this, but generally I do believe that their are just some BAD teachers out there that use humiliation as a tactic to control the classroom environment... But I've also seen the reverse, where it was the fault of the parents who want their kid to be accommodated to the point that it is obvious their student is being given special treatment or just told to ignore things that the student can't control. Either way leads to the harm and not the betterment of the student.

story 1 isn't as bad as the open marriage story after child loss. that one was just tragic I love how the rules only apply to the wife and not the husband also I love the term "passionate hug"

I’m so glad that you’ve made this a subreddit you cover frequently, it’s in the name, “The *B E S T* of Reddit”

Just read a couple more updates on the open marriage. (My phone's voice to textz autocorrects op to opie) Opie's husband called Jay to tell him that Opie is not in an open relationship and it caused Jay to end the arrangement with Opie. When her husband found out he had a smug face and said that he was open to an open marriage again. To not make this a long comment, op vented to a best friend who has another male friend who took a liking to opie, she saw Jay to basically break it off in person. Basically opie's husband realizes that she is very much still on the market and already finding new people and his demeanor becomes shitty again. She calls him out on the fact that his proposal for an open marriage is just an excuse for him to hook up with other people while keeping her off the market. When called out he throws a dinner plate and walks out and stays out of the house. They have a couple more arguments and pretty much Opie gives the ultimatum that either they continue to open marriage or they get a divorce

"My daughter has ADHD and may have odor problems" As someone with those two things (bad odor when I was a teen, it disappeared when I turned 22 or so), it's a very bad combination for sure, specially when you're that young, so the mother was very much in her right to try and refuse to have her second kid in RT class.

Bullet? She doged a freaking _tactical nuke_ !

@BersealiaDreamheart

Жыл бұрын

You can say that again.

Story 1: Very confused asexual noises. Though the wife seems to have a level of demisexuality (Needing a bond before 'passionate hugging). The whole 'I'll go mad without s*x' is just so absurd to me, I just play video games and read lol. Story 2: My sisters entire school experience was ruined by one teacher who just decided they hated her. I was lucky enough to have nice teachers, but damn. Story 3: Yiiiiiikes. My dad and I are really close, the whole 'not bonding with a daughter' is BS.

@GoldenSunAlex

Жыл бұрын

This. I've never really got why some people never seem to be able to go without sex. Video games any day.

"I'd be wasting 9 years of my life for nothing" So, staying for another 20 or more would be preferable just to be able to say she didn't waste those 9? What kind of logic is that??

With the last one, she didn't dodge a bullet; she dodged a cannon ball. That guy has issues!

Yeah the first guy didn't want an open marriage he wanted control over op while still sleeping about acting like some king. Op stay strong and divorce him his behaviour is borderline abuse

@JimmySpace69

Жыл бұрын

All men own their wives and spouses 💪

First story is exactly like my ex-husband. Like word for word when I demanded a divorce after he manipulated me into an open marriage.

This is something that people don't understand: Dont open up the relationship if you're competitive. I know the husband in the 1st story only wanted to sleep with other women without expecting his wife to do the same. But if you open up the relationship, you have to come to terms that your partner has the same footing you do. They will sleep with people you may consider more attractive or satisfying than yourself, and you need to be ok with that.

About that post with the teacher, I've had an experience like that. It wasn't one of my teachers at school, it was a private violin teacher. I was about 13 years old (right when those lovely self-esteem issues start rearing their ugly heads), and her standards were for students who were getting ready to graduate college music programs. As can be expected, I as a 13 year old, struggled meeting those standards, and she wouldn't meet me in the middle. After about four months in her studio, she actually told me to my face, and I quote: "You're not meeting my standards, so I'm not going to waste my time teaching you anymore." That was it. No, "Hey, my standards might be too difficult for your skill level right now, so let me put you in contact with some other teachers in the area that might be better suited for you," nothing. Just saying she wouldn't waste her time anymore. I didn't play for nearly a whole year, and I doubted I even wanted to touch my instrument again. While I am playing again, if I'm out street performing, and other people ask for teacher recommendations for their kids, I tell them to NEVER go to this woman.

If you guys want to know what is like being in a relationship and breaking up with a narcissist, listen to the last story. Textbook narc.

Hi guys, have a Great weekend

@shadowmewfred09

Жыл бұрын

Sadly it's not looking that way I just came back from having our last sweet yorkie buddy put down due to blood clots Edit: thanks for all the comments it is a sad day yes such a good puppy

@pizzalord2333

Жыл бұрын

Thanks

@pizzalord2333

Жыл бұрын

@@shadowmewfred09 that’s sad

@Randombookwoorm

Жыл бұрын

@@shadowmewfred09 thats sad to hear..

Story 1: As soon as I heard: "My husband wants an open marriage." I thought, well, this marriage is over. Every single story when this happens, the partner who opened the marriage gets bent out of shape when their partner starts dating, too.

Soooooo, as a polyam person: the woman in the first story definitely did break a rule. Buuuuuut obviously her husband made it kind of impossible for her. Open marriages can work absolute wonders, but you have to get rid of the jealousy first. Jealousy is NOT a good character trait.

@Tues48

Жыл бұрын

I don't see how she broke a rule? They were planning it, she told her husband beforehand. He just made it impossible to follow through right away.

@justine8387

10 ай бұрын

Brian, as a poly woman, I am giving you side eye.

@BrianStorm742

10 ай бұрын

@@justine8387 I don't care. Jealousy sucks and we need to be rid of it as a society.