If one person wants children, and the other doesn't...DON'T GET MARRIED! That is issue number one

@kp2223

3 ай бұрын

💯💯💯

@92bagder

3 ай бұрын

Truth, I've ended relationships because of this. I want kids, she doesn't. Simple

@kp2223

3 ай бұрын

@92bagder It Used to be a question I asked on first dates. My husband will quote our second dates where I said " I want to get married and have some kids.If you don't see that in the cards for your future, we shouldn't waste each other's time.I'll pay for my half of dinner"

@Simipourfangirl

3 ай бұрын

I'm on the fence about kids. I still won't marry a man who doesn't want kids.

@locusxe1411

3 ай бұрын

@@Simipourfangirlbut that’s not on the fence. You have your stance that you want kids. Being on the fence would be if you didn’t know

OP is so concerned about being a “real man” but fails to grasp that leaving your wife because your ego got bruised and thinking about cheating has got to be some of the most unmanly things in the world. I hope the wife does come across his post somehow and leaves him, she’s too good for him.

@stefantsarev4442

3 ай бұрын

Koreans are known to be obsessed about looks and image.

@SkyEcho751

3 ай бұрын

THIS^ Dude is willing to ditch his wife after she was willing to take an attack for him, yet he's so up his own ass about 'being a man' that he isn't willing to actually BE a Man.

@nomar5spaulding

3 ай бұрын

Yeah that guy's face belongs in the dictionary for Toxic Masculinity.

@nationalinstituteofcheese3012

3 ай бұрын

The idea of doing something like that is enough to emasculate you imo

@mrlugh

3 ай бұрын

exactly what i was thinking

This is a PSA to never try and convince someone to “compromise” on something as big as kids. She wanted her tubes REMOVED. He got the kid he wanted, and she’s a shell of a person. I feel so badly for her

@kawliga9890

3 ай бұрын

Sounds like she's also suffering from Post Partum which is making everything worse

@HowlingEclipse

3 ай бұрын

I agree it's aweful.

@nationalinstituteofcheese3012

3 ай бұрын

This is called reproductive abuse

@mifffalden9225

3 ай бұрын

Not to mention that the baby is also a person who is going to grow up with a mother who resents him and, at the best, is just completely absent from his life.

@nutritionnut3975

3 ай бұрын

@@mifffalden9225you don’t have to let resentment get the better of you and she might feel completely different once the baby is here

Weird, my autism has never made me steal money from people... not even "accidentally" 🤔

@ajjean2720

3 ай бұрын

How do you “accidentally” steal? 😂 especially money you know is not yours I need OP to be soooooo serious right now

@ZombieSazza

3 ай бұрын

Same! How strange my tism has never worked that way!

@kylewalt907

2 ай бұрын

right me too🤔 my immediate reaction was "thats not [because of] autism"

@dustypaladin9216

Ай бұрын

Like the dumb joke and maybe the hug could be cause of autism but def not the stealing

The OP with the crying sister is absolutely OBLIVIOUS. Her husband is stealing from and harassing the sister and OP is completely blind to it.

@DarcOne13

3 ай бұрын

He might be doing more than that. I acted the same way around my stepdad after he made a pass at me. Stay alert, y'all.

@Tustin2121

3 ай бұрын

@@DarcOne13- Yeah, that’s the first thing that came to my mind too. The husband having “impulse control issues” kind of confirms it too.

@kp2223

3 ай бұрын

I don't think she's blind to it at all.I just think she thinks her Husband's happiness is more important than her sisters

@HeoBaby24

3 ай бұрын

as soon as Heard "where my hug at" i cringe

@Juzokinnie

3 ай бұрын

I have experienced both migranes and SA. Crying makes migranes WORSE. I'm almost certain OP's husband is being inappropriate.

I once got a concussion from a soccer ball when I was 15 to the back of the head. I can guarantee that the wife mightve saved that man's life, and that man does not deserve her.

@Emeraldwitch30

3 ай бұрын

I got hit right about one inch behind my ear in the head during a car accident. While they didn't yhinknut was more than just a slight I didn't even have more than a mild concussion it caused all kinds of issues. From my balance to my memory. It's never easy to understand the brain and injuries they say. I have lost my ability to recognize faces. Not everyone but here and there some people. Friends and family are just gone like someone hit delete. I never know because well I've lost these memories. Also if I get too tired or stressed I often get aphasia with words too. I could give you every other word that means the 'same thing but the word I want to say. Drives me nuts. I've also had 2 different rounds of cancer too so the treatment (radation) sure didn't help either lol But I still try to be normal lol 😅

@toxicprincess9717

3 ай бұрын

She 100% saved his life, a few years ago a kid in my hometown got hit on the back of his head with a small beer bottle he died 5 hours after it happened and i would say a rock would do more damage than a bottle

@sweetmeatnc1504

3 ай бұрын

​@Emeraldwitch30 no doubt, i got a concussion after getting rear-ended at a stop light, literally from hitting the back of my head on the head rest.

@readjordan2257

3 ай бұрын

As someone whos been beat with a wooden chair and a punted soccer ball (both intentionally done), ill say the soccer ball hurts much worse. Solid oak dont hurt when repeatedly hit across the back of your head, instead its just annoying as hell they think they're gonna knock you out with it. To be cleaf, the soccer ball was twice in the same 2 minutes, once on my forehead and the second time on my balls. It was because i didnt represent mine and his ancestors well enough by having white skin and sucking at soccer.

@readjordan2257

3 ай бұрын

The most painful skull injury is actually not the skull, but being hit by a half-full water bottle in the nose. The water slammed into my face for maximum recoil. Unlike those other times, i immediately found myself on the ground before consciously being aware of it. (The balls one was almost as fast but I was aware the whole time). There were scar lines from the bleeding that made my nose look like a grilled hot dog. Unlike the other times, the bottle was meant to miss me and was thrown at my direction as a way of saying hi but as hard labor guys, like some people say hi by flipping each other the bird...like brotherly friendly fake aggression. So surprisingly the accident hurt worse than any intentional situation.

What a pos. She literally saved him and this is how he delays her.

@shadowmewfred09

3 ай бұрын

Repays ^

@juanhaines7295

3 ай бұрын

Yeah my auto correct screwed me and I can't edit my comments.

@Nerobyrne

3 ай бұрын

yeah for real, I don't care what she looks like. That kind of loyalty deserves life-long comitment. I don't even know her and I already want to marry her ^^

@shadowmewfred09

3 ай бұрын

​@@juanhaines7295man that sucks

@SoldierSpiderx

3 ай бұрын

fact it sound to me he only got with her cause of her look and now it ruin he don't want be with her no more

Story 5: So the GF was suffering grief from the dad's brain tumor, and I guess OP didn't like that he wasn't getting any s3x as a result, so he cheated. So instead of supporting her through this massive dark time, OP just decided to satisfy his own hunger for s3x, then broke up with her and filed a restraining order, leaving the ex to spiral and…yeah… Read that note everyday, OP. Maybe it'll teach you to not abandon people during their dark times

@kirkfortini319

3 ай бұрын

Hearing that story, it’s almost enough to motivate a person to destroy everything that OP loves.

@christiankucera7730

3 ай бұрын

​@@kirkfortini319he probably doesn't love anything or anyone apart from himself

@moshy2931

3 ай бұрын

As someone with severe depression I'd like to add that her suicidal ideation weren't "in the past because she was medicated" if your SO is still under medication for that, they're not cured, they're still battling their mental illness. It baffles me that guy thought she was fine because she had a treatment.

@DrunkSamurai

3 ай бұрын

@@kirkfortini319 Maybe if you knew the girlfriend.

@drwboy07

3 ай бұрын

As much of a pos the guy is not to mention narcissistic, I still wouldn't blame him for her self unaliving. People who carry out with that are selfish and cowardly. There is absolutely no reason to unalive yourself. If you're not married and with someone and going through the grief of losing someone, the polite thing to do is break up with your SO. You think you need them to help you through it but all you're doing is ignoring their feelings while wanting them to heal yours and tbh they can't they will never be able to heal that, only time can heal it. I know the pain of grief all to well and I was in the same shoes as the gf, I basically checked out of my relationship both physically and emotionally while going through the loss of my dad and stepping up to care for my special needs brother. With me the hits just kept coming, 2018 i lost my dad, 2019 I lost my great grandmother and cat in the same month, 2020 I lost my grandma, 2021 i lost my uncle and the very next month I almost died but my brother did. It hurts more than you can imagine to the point where im now numb to feelings.

Story 1: it’s worse than that R/, he was already losing love for her when she got pregnant with the kids he wanted and she didn’t. He also somehow found the way to be mad at her because he supposed to save the woman not the other way around, and somehow things she insulted his masculinity. You are the man every woman is warned about , the kind of guy that shows no appreciation when someone goes above and beyond for them, wants his wife to do things that he ultimately regrets when it too late, actually try to make it seem like his cheating is to her benefit, or save the marriage. And the cherry on top, run away whenever they’re called out on their BS. But you know what maybe he should cheat, so when the divorce starts and child support needs to be discussed, it gives her more ammo to take as much as she came from your sorry ass.

@nicholassanabria6493

3 ай бұрын

Wow that makes the OP a 10000 times worse he’s more than a DB his wife is better off without him

@fdm2155

3 ай бұрын

Yeah, OP clearly was never a grownup. All of his reactions just scream immature/crybaby.

@Someone-or8tp

3 ай бұрын

"I went to a therapist but they made me feel so low that I haven't gone back" Translation: therapist let me know that I'm in the wrong and a complete douchebag and that I need to work through my problems, but I only want to hear people telling me that I'm justified so it hurt my feelings.

@TheNormExperience

3 ай бұрын

“You are the man every woman is warned about” Is a damn good line - I’m gonna use that

@mbresnan321

3 ай бұрын

And let’s not forget that he’s bugging her to schedule a surgical appointment while she’s pregnant when there’s a near zero chance any one would operate on her. You often can’t even have dental work that requires local anesthetics done while pregnant. What a selfish idiot.

Story 1: You know OP is screwed up that even the therapist says he is awful. The fact that OP said "he haven't gone back since" means he refused to accept what the therapist said. She literally save him, and this is how he thanks her? Devilish indeed.

@cosmicmist2020

3 ай бұрын

I knew it was gonna be fucked up when the THERAPIST is judging him to be morally repugnant

@wannabehistorian371

3 ай бұрын

Still a terrible therapist. He came for help because he knew he was wrong, and being mean to such people, no matter how truthful, is never effective.

@stacki1040

3 ай бұрын

@@wannabehistorian371yeah unless he's being extremely sensitive and the therapist tried to break it to him well (which actually i doubt here), the therapist also sucks. hope he finds a new one who can tell him how to stop being such a pos in a way he can listen

@cosmicmist2020

3 ай бұрын

@@wannabehistorian371 True, the therapist should've handled that without judgement. It's just the fact that they didn't for this issue is crazy

@speedy01247

2 ай бұрын

I really don't know what he expected, like for someone to agree with him? its just crazy.

I had to immediately pause at 12:46 OP pressured his wife, a woman he only knew for a year before marrying them, into having a child... And *_they struggle to afford formula?_* Was his mindset to just get a child as soon as possible and tackle the financial burden when it happened? No planning ahead, no building up a nest egg to act as a financial buffer, and just bulldozing through her desire to be child free? Yeah, OP's awful for that alone. The sexism compunds things and cements him being a terrible individual. Way to go, genius OP, you pressured a woman you supposedly love into birthing a child she was obviously not prepared for, and now you're surprised she's having trouble.

@bibigamer502

3 ай бұрын

He’s probably trying to compensate for his lack of brain cells by being extremely sexist (sounds like he has no brain cells)

@headraline

3 ай бұрын

it's also a power thing for a lot of men. they think "breeding" women marks them as more masculine or some shit. idk how to properly put it into words but they get off on it. And like.... no, buddy. If you don't carry it from shrimp to watermelon yourself, you don't get to decide to make her. Don't like? Marry someone ELSE.

@matthewbarabas3052

3 ай бұрын

..dont most people do that? just have kids even though they *clearly* cant afford it? having kids in the responsible way is extremely, extremely, rare.

@memes4life26

3 ай бұрын

​@@matthewbarabas3052Doesn't make it better

@silverstreak227

3 ай бұрын

​@memes4life26 you're demonizing OP for the common occurrence of financial instability as if it's entirely his fault he doesn't make more money, yet you're normalizing the wife HATING their child

I have to say, as a mental health nurse, first story sounds like a HUGE trauma response. I think he may subconsciously be be relating his wife to the attack more than he thinks and it's causing him these thoughts. Homie needs to get over the bad feeling of therapy and get to it ASAP before he ruins his life.

@khrishp

3 ай бұрын

Sounds like he had a bad therapist. He should have shopped around more, especially with his background in the US.

@RyokoGemini

3 ай бұрын

Fellow mental health nurse, I thought same!

@LLandS18

3 ай бұрын

Trauma PTSD mental health is not an excuse to abuse the people around you. Even if this is a trauma response sounds to me like his therapist is putting him in his place and telling him you don't get to treat the people around you like garbage because you went through something traumatic. As somebody who's been diagnosed with complicated PTSD It's not an excuse.

@RyokoGemini

3 ай бұрын

​@@LLandS18oh absolutely, please don't think I'm conflating reason with reasonable excuse! Especially as his partner will be traumatised herself

@wingracer1614

3 ай бұрын

@@LLandS18 No one is saying otherwise. The guy is a PoS. Problem is, he will continue to be a PoS unless he gets some effing help. Or do you think he should continue behaving like this and treating all the women in his future and his newborn child like this?

Hang on, your baby is "on formula you can barely afford" but you force your wife into having a child SHE DIDN'T WANT? I am simply repeating the story because I can't believe the AUDACITY of the husband, and am speechless at his galling lack of self awareness: bad enough he basically forced his wife to have a baby that she made very clear she didn't want but, as Dabney pointed out, they seem to not be in a financially stable enough place to have ANY child, wanted or not!

@rebel1612

3 ай бұрын

She absolutely needs to be evaluated for PPD. He is the hugest Ahole! He forced her into motherhood.

@avashnea

3 ай бұрын

She DOES have a duty to nurse her child if she's able to. He didn't force anyone.

@lokilaufeyson7035

3 ай бұрын

@@avashnea nope

@avashnea

3 ай бұрын

@@lokilaufeyson7035 Yes.

@ericdugdale8585

3 ай бұрын

@@avashnea Some day, when your dating life begins, you'll learn that people in a romantic relationship gain power over each other just by default.

I love how in the 5th story that poor girl obviously has postpartum depression and is in an awful place mentally and his first thought isn't getting a therapist or trying to actually help her but instead call the authorities to "explain things to her" and put her in a hospital, OP doesn't have traditional gender roles he's stuck in an 1800s mentality where women get "fixed" by being thrown into an assylm.

@mushroommagic1697

3 ай бұрын

Op is so clueless and dumb. He calls the authorities on himself too. He doesn't wants a family but is just in love with the fever dream of the happy family. I find is amusing and tragic that instead of taking full responsibility for the child and for the family, he nags his wife to be a mother and therefore to take full responsibility to make his desires true. And they do not have enough money to afford formula he should take a second job to support his family because he wanted it.

@avashnea

3 ай бұрын

@@mushroommagic1697 OR, here's a thought, she could take care of the kid she AGREED to have. He shouldn't have to get another job to pay for formula, she needs to get off her ass and feed her own child. She DOES have a duty to nurse the baby if she's able to.

@Frostfern94

3 ай бұрын

@@avashneaNo. HE should be providing for what HE wanted so strongly. Honestly? I’d also have run away. I hate children, I don’t ever want them, I wouldn’t agree to have one either. If I were forced into it, or worn into it, I’d just leave. Taking away the control someone has over their body is a sure fire way to get someone to hate you, themselves, and do something drastic. He wanted this, not her, he can fucking pay for it.

@LLandS18

3 ай бұрын

​@@avashneaJust cuz some asshole thinks she can breastfeed doesn't mean she can. Do you have any idea how painful breastfeeding is. Do you know how impossible it is for some women. How about he doesn't have any idea about how anything works so you shouldn't believe anything. He says. He wanted to have a kid knowing there's a chance she wasn't going to be able to breastfeed the child.

@wifflewaffle5006

3 ай бұрын

@@avashneaShe compromised and agreed because he clearly wasn’t going to let it go. Im sure part of her thought maybe they could make it work but only with the one kid, but reality doesn’t always go the way we want and she was hit with a massive truck of postpartum depression which NO ONE ASKS FOR She clearly isn’t able to nurse her child as she’s literally BEGGING for the child to be removed from the house, so that is not her duty It is the duty of the parent with the clear head to take over and make sure the baby is taken care for and fed, which yes, means he needs formula Whether he gets help from his parents or a second job, doesn’t matter, baby needs to be fed and she is in no position to do it Trying to force her to nurse in this kind of state would only put her child at risk of potential harm as postpartum is NO JOKE. It’s real and it’s scary and it happens even to people who wanted their babies, so someone who never wanted them having to deal with it? I couldn’t imagine, and I am someone who has struggled with it myself. She needs help. She’s adjusting to a life she never saw for herself before him and is struggling, and all he can think about is how she’s making his life harder by not nursing even though that’s not even mandatory anymore, hence formula! If he can’t afford formula, he shouldn’t have been begging for kids.

Last story: it's never your fault if someone chooses to commit suicide. HOWEVER! Abandoning someone at their lowest point and cheating on them can definitely contribute to an unstable mental state.

@VictoriaMullakandova

3 ай бұрын

Exactly

@KadeStringer2.0

3 ай бұрын

Facts

@rebel1612

3 ай бұрын

This story is absolutely heartbreaking

@WazaAenor

3 ай бұрын

The message here ties into story two if it is true. There should have been compromise and yes he should have spent more time with his wife. Hormones aside she was also mildly not thinking straight. However with technology these days a lot of planning talking can be done over a zoom or discord call. Losing someone you dearly love is devastating. My fiancee recently lost her parents and still grieves them even after their funerals, she lost her sister over 10 years ago and it still affects her on her sister's birthday and angel day. Being able to visit her grave helps. Do NOT underestimate what losing people can do. OP is still the A in story 2. But temper your anger if it's true. We would need more answers in his best friends support group size, how much it was affecting him, etc. if he was withholding information like Dabney suggests. Yeah be as mad as you want. That's my big issue with reddit people can only info and spin things to look good or like the victim easily.

@lulolie

3 ай бұрын

I don't agree that it's *never* their fault, especially if not only did he just delete her from his life while she was at her lowest and immediately replace her basically just for sex, but he filed a restraining order against her for trying to reach out to a boyfriend that suddenly went AWOL. If he had any spark of intelligence it sounds like he was straight up hoping for her to kill herself so he wouldn't have to deal with her

Story 1: So op’s wife saved his life, and was severely injured, but op has been basically isolating her from his family because she has a few scars? Coerced: So op is shocked that his childfree wife didn’t want his child. Why didn’t he break up and find someone who wanted his baby?

@Tustin2121

3 ай бұрын

Coerced: We’ll that would make too much sense! Besides, all women secretly want kids, even if they don’t, obviously! 🙃

@kaykay8855

3 ай бұрын

@@Tustin2121 IKR. It’s like if he believes in traditional gender roles then he’s not a good provider if he can’t afford formula for the baby and he sees the both of them are suffering.

@kp2223

3 ай бұрын

💯💯💯

@tehevilengineer7939

3 ай бұрын

Its not it is a scare maybe 5 inches long tops. That he is only willing to half of to fix.

@thePhoenixQueen

3 ай бұрын

I mean, he's Korean, and they're known to be obsessed with looks.

"Get him out of the house" - OP is leaving out another thing here: He basically forced her to get pregnant, thinking, once he forced her into the role HE destined for HER, she will "come around". If I were wifey, I would ditch both. I'm childfree. 55 by now and not regretting a thing. Anyone who tells me I'm a failure in life because no kids is in for a bad surprise. Most egos don't survive the tongue lashing they get then. Funnily it's mostly men who are so delusional. I wish the baby good luck with this father. I don't see the mom sticking around for long anymore. She sounds like she's at breaking point.

@znerd3664

3 ай бұрын

He didn't force her to get pregnant. He pressured her sure, but he didn't poke a hole in his condom or swap her birth control for breath mints. They talked; she agreed. It was incredibly stupid for him to just "hope" she'd change her mind on children(statistically that was likely but it's still not something you bet on), but at the end of the day she absolutely agreed to have this baby. She needs therapy to hopefully get passed her current PPD but OP isn't wrong when he says she has a duty to their son. This baby is as much her son as he is OP's

@laughableInflection

3 ай бұрын

​@@znerd3664 coercion negates consent

@Tustin2121

3 ай бұрын

@@znerd3664- We don’t know that he didn’t do those things. We are taking this guy at his word, and given what his word IS, I’m taking the “talked her around” bit with massive truckloads of salt.

@KadeStringer2.0

3 ай бұрын

Op didn’t force or manipulated her into having the child but op’s wife sucks if she can’t do her duty as a parent

@BleuchuCake

3 ай бұрын

@@znerd3664 Ah... no. It'll still be forced. We don't have a time frame as to how long he kept pushing and pushing and basically wearing her down to the point where she just says yes because at that point it'll feel like she doesn't have any other choice. Yes, she is suffering from PPD, but it was obvious from the start she wasn't going to have any kind of emotional connection with the baby because she didn't choose to do it freely, it was forced upon her by her husband. Childfree people, myself including, isn't sudden going to blossom into motherhood. Especially not after the trauma of giving birth. Even if she gets over her PPD, what makes you thing she'll still want the child? It'll just be a constant reminder of a regret. I feel sorry for the child, but OP is a monster and the wife needs to leave that toxicity. I would rather be raised by a single parent than go through that abuse.

As someone who has scars and is proud of them, the fact that OP wants his wife to have scar removal surgery or whatever is completely nuts! This quote sums up my thoughts: “Scars mean you went through something tough in the past, survived it, and came back stronger.”

@kaitycole

3 ай бұрын

Same here! Plus, my fiancé likes my scars, he’s not embarrassed of them and doesn’t ask me to bc over them up.

@seekeroftruth6728

3 ай бұрын

There's nothing wrong with not wanting that daily reminder of a violent attack. But it's her decision, not his. That being said, decisions have consequences.

@AlecSmolenskiMusic

3 ай бұрын

I remember hearing a similar line in Superman and Lois. To not spoil anything, someone is diagnosed with cancer and they’re talking to their significant other and he says “They aren’t scars. They’re symbols. Symbols that show what you’ve gone through and that you survived.” Beautiful way of putting that sentiment

@DopeioThePhoneBoi

3 ай бұрын

we get it, buddy, you hate women. Don't you have new material, we're bored. @seekeroftruth6728

@haloson5852

3 ай бұрын

Same here as well. A couple of years ago, I got a life-threatening infection in my right leg and had emergency surgery on it. Both sides on my leg now have long scars from under my knee to just above my foot/ankle. When I look at those scars, I don't think I'm ugly or disgusting, I think of what I went through and that I survived it and how grateful I am that I did.

Story 1: If I was dating someone, and they saved my life, I'd be praising them as a hero, not act like I was emasculated and consider cheating. Like, this man has no appreciation for his wife, and I hope those comments put him in his place.

Dude in the first story. wtf? Seeing that reminder of how much she loved me every day would make me love her more. Like, you really did that for me? You really took a rock to the face? For me??? Let me spoil you my queen. Dude has problems. On top of her carrying his child that he wanted so bad.

@linda-0587

3 ай бұрын

Damn right, if I had a GF/Wife (I’m bi), and she did that for me, I’d be doing my damndest to make sure every day afterwards is dedicated to making her feel loved and appreciated. 24/7 spoiling!

@jakubrogacz6829

3 ай бұрын

@@linda-0587 You don't really know though - noone does

@ProxiProtogen

3 ай бұрын

It would be one thing I he was upset that he wasn't the one to take the hit instead of his wife.... but that's not why he's upset. He's upset that she's not attractive anymore... Actually pathetic.

@jakubrogacz6829

3 ай бұрын

@@ProxiProtogen For what I know about Koreans ? Pretty much what you'd expect. The culture there is said to be obsessed with looking perfect

Can't believe first OP actually thought his therapist would agree with him 🤣

@dracko158

3 ай бұрын

If strangers on the internet wouldn't agree with him, what's to say his own therapist will agree with his twisted logic?

@Azulakayes

3 ай бұрын

He thought a therapist being on yourside means agreeing with your BS.

I was on bed rest for 2 months & didn't expect my husband to wait on me 24/7. "Bed rest" isn't laying in bed until you have the baby. It's just not doing anything strenuous, like standing on your feet all day or lifting heavy things. She doesn't need a slave. She just needs to take it easy. Your spouses are individuals, just like you. They have wants and needs, just like you. Being pregnant and/or on bed rest doesn't excuse treating someone like a butler.

@Arylwren1

3 ай бұрын

This exactly. Sounds like op was doing his best to be supportive of the 2 most important people in his life

@yelljal2764

3 ай бұрын

Exactly. It's not like OP is going out to the bar every night. He is just trying to care for his best friend, who recently became a widower. He is only gone a few nights to help greive. If anything, OP's wife should be proud to see OP take the time to care for his friend. A friendship like that is rare and is a sign of a truly incredible person.

@grizzly_manbanimation8436

3 ай бұрын

Finally someone commented on this. I expected this post to be far worse than it actually was. I was expecting the man to be one of those men who go on very frequent hang outs with friends and not spend enough time with his wife. I was actually surprised to see that he was being considerate of both his pregnant wife and his friend. I thought the wife was being self absorbed and entitled expecting him to just abandon his friend in his time of need.

@surreysmith

3 ай бұрын

​@@yelljal2764this is why men's suicide rates are so high. "He has other friends" Maybe but he needs his best friend because his other best friend just died.

@perfectchemistry8291

3 ай бұрын

Not to mention that there is literally zero evidence that bed rest during pregnancy, at home or in the hospital, is effective at treating preterm labor or preventing premature birth. Sorry but rslash is completely wrong- when the medical advice given is to do something that isn't even evidence based treatment it *definitely* isn't a serious concern. Advising bed rest is the equivalent of advising a nice cup of tea- it's a stress relieving placebo at best and even that's stretching the truth because other placebo treatments actually do have evidence of effectiveness. If anything the evidence suggest that pregnant women who spend too much time being sedentary due to bed rest are worse off. Staying in bed all day isn't good for anybody and I'm guessing the doctor made that clear too and that she just doesn't like that she isn't his one and only focus right now. In ordinary circumstances that would be understandable due her being in her their trimester with complications, however, minor but under these circumstances- she's just being an entitled brat. Spending one night a week with his recently grieving best friend from childhood is in no way an asshole move- her response to it is an asshole move though. She can get whatever she "needs" herself and there is absolutely zero evidence even indicating otherwise- but there is evidence that remaining sedentary is contrary to what's best for her and her pregnancy. She needs to wake up to herself and do some research on what bed rest actually achieves- nothing.

Fourth story- the wife needs an evaluation for postpartum depression, lots of therapy, and a good divorce lawyer

@luizansounds

3 ай бұрын

Yup, she needs that man gone asap, he basically forced her Into having a child and is surprised she is going trough bad post partum (and my not ever be able to take care of the baby becaude of the trauma), the worse part is that in her place i wouldn't trust the husband to be with the child as well so what a complicated situation

I love when rslash scold people when they can't take the heat and delete their posts and talk about poster's hypocrisy... And then he proceed to erase the segments of his AITA videos when his buthole score doesn't match with what most of the people say in the comments.

@Human-kb6xc

3 ай бұрын

Where does he do this? Cause I've seen a couple comments like this and now I'm curious.

@VictoriaMullakandova

3 ай бұрын

@@Human-kb6xcI don’t think he does it as much anymore but I’ve noticed it tends to be with familial or spousal issues

@user-qf2el3xj9r

3 ай бұрын

@Human-kb6xc I would have to check again too many videos to show you an example; but from time to time, if you hear old AITA videos, you will hear rslash commenting the post and suddenly jump to the next without a score and with a more or less obvious cut

@surreysmith

3 ай бұрын

​@@Human-kb6xcI've seen it twice when I've watched a video a few days after release. When he reads the post but there's no commentary afterwards. Then I scrolled to the comments and found viewers talking about his hot/bad take

2nd story: I completely disagree. As he put it: his BEST friend is going through the lowest point in his life having lost his fiancé so using ONE night during the week with him should never be a problem. Another thing: you can be put on bedrest during pregnancy because your feet are too swollen. That is in the category of something to not being overly concerned about.

Did, did OP4 basically force his wife to get pregnant against her wishes? 😬 And it sounds like they weren't even in a good enough place to afford the baby either. Dude is absolutely toxic

@Boredchinchilla

3 ай бұрын

The wife seems to have severe PPD. She needs help ASAP, and needs to be away from her absolute douchecanoe of a husband

@Wolfiechrm

3 ай бұрын

I was wondering that to, that he possibly baby trapped her or something

@GreenBeret1903

3 ай бұрын

She needs to put on a psychiatric detention, he needs to file for divorce and get child support from her

@Raketo900

3 ай бұрын

​@@GreenBeret1903 why does she need therapy? She just needs to get out of this situation. And he doesn't have any rights to child support - or shouldn't have them depending on their legal system. Seems like she doesn't earn money anyway, so he has to pay her spousal support on top of taking care of the child. He is the POS.

@elizaalmabuena

3 ай бұрын

@@Raketo900to be fair, she was coerced into going through pregnancy, birth, and looking after a baby she did not want. Add on possible PPD making things even worse..... she might be in need of therapy, some level of depression and/or trauma from all of that would not be surprising at all.

"I've had to delete myself off dating apps before making a mistake" What the hell was he doing on dating apps while he was married? I may have the wrong understanding of things, but this guy sounds like he was already looking for some outside arrangement before this incident.

@WishGender

3 ай бұрын

I think what he meant was he had made dating profiles after the attack and ended up getting cold feet and deleting the profiles before doing anything because he felt guilty

Why is Story 2 on Am i the Devil? Like... OP isnt evil like the rest of the people here. He just want to help a friend with a DEAD fiancée. He just sucked at managing his time. It's a issue he can fix easily. (Spend more time with wifey, cut down on time with friend while still calling in on time to time).

@peachpunch9465

3 ай бұрын

For real! And he even offered to just help with the funeral, then focus on her after! She’s acting as though he has to wait on her 24/7

My husband fell in a climbing accident last year. He has a pretty large scar on his forehead now. I was honestly just so happy he was alive that I didn't care about a scar. Some patch of skin won't stop me from loving him. It sounds like OP doesn't really love his wife if he's just concerned about cosmetics.

Story 1 : op wife literally could have died but she still jumped into defending him form the attack he wants to be with someone else

@vinaypatel8578

3 ай бұрын

His pregnant wife literally could have died.

@Spongeboyking

3 ай бұрын

@@vinaypatel8578 yeah and he wants to cheat on her even the therapist called him out

@KadeStringer2.0

3 ай бұрын

@@Spongeboykingwell she could have lost her life .

@Mx-rr3qm

3 ай бұрын

Unfortunately, the OP's wife is going to come across this post at one point or another... She deserves better

Story 5: I could go on such a long rant about this story, but I won’t my advice is, don’t have kids if you don’t want kids, it causes situations where kids aren’t wanted

@FederalBurroOfInvestigation

3 ай бұрын

This and anyone who claims to care about them should be fine with this. No kid should have parents that don't want them.

@RiveroftheWither

3 ай бұрын

Yup, when someone says they're child free, believe them. Don't badger, coerce or trick them into having kids anyway, thinking it'll "fix" them. They're never going to be the parent you think they will be.

When the therapist is telling OP that he's a POS for trying to leave his wife after she took a deadly attack for him. It's probably time for him to man up.

Story 2: Op isn’t an asshole, and definitely not the “devil”. He’s trying his best to help both his friend and his wife. She’s not dying, he just lost potentially the love of his life. Him going a couple days to support his best friend doesn’t make him a bad husband or a bad father. Also, as someone pointed out already, bed rest doesn’t actually mean staying in bed 24/7, it just means not doing stressful tasks.

@quartzskull8772

3 ай бұрын

The problem is he isn't helping his wife

@simonemaiocchi

3 ай бұрын

@@quartzskull8772what should he be helping his wife with? She doesn’t need him 24/7, and if she does need something doesn’t she have someone else to help her for a day or two while he goes to check on his friend?

@quartzskull8772

3 ай бұрын

@simonemaiocchi ah yes being pregnant and by yourself is so great, wasn't he literally spending nights at his friends house? And it's not just a out help but being with your spouse

@myaalvarado3096

2 ай бұрын

@@simonemaiocchi you do realize when doctors put pregnant women on bed rest, it's because they're more likely to have miscarriages and potentially die as well, right? You kinda need your partner there to save your life in case you, I don't know, start bleeding to death or go into a incredibly dangerous early birth. I'm not saying that he shouldn't be supporting his best friend. He absolutely should, but in a better way. Ask one of the wife's friends to stay with her one evening while you visit the friend for a few hours before going home. Inviting your friend to have dinner at your house. Video calling or talking/texting to check in. Not abandoning your high risk pregnancy wife

@majcry4188

2 ай бұрын

​@@myaalvarado3096You do realize that when pregnant women get put on bed rest thats actually not the always the case, and it was probably a preventative measure because OP even said it wasnt anything serious. So yeah, it is making it a little harder on her having to be alone for half a day, but she should understand the friend need him just as much

If you can't afford a baby and all its expenses, don't have kids.

@iAstra

3 ай бұрын

Yes! Bonus, if one party doesn't want kids, don't have kids.

@seabass819

3 ай бұрын

@@iAstra doesn't seem like it's that hard of a concept to grasp, lol.

@HDTDNOVIV

3 ай бұрын

So poor people shouldn't be able to have families, just the rich? Weird subconscious classism from you.

@breannabartholomew3024

3 ай бұрын

​@@HDTDNOVIVBig agree. Also, it's not always a choice depending upon people's beliefs.

@strikeforce1500

3 ай бұрын

​@HDTDNOVIV Twitter is the other way, pal.

Story 3: I have a lot of experience with autism in my family, specifically with people who aren't as functional as this guy, and they understand that taking things that don't belong to them or act in the ways OP described. OP is just clueless. I'm given to wonder if the husband isn't lying about his autism to excuse his disgusting behavior.

Ok, I'm not sure if we should use the same "you weren't being the man" dialogue that the guy is using, R/Slash. One, calling the police IS what you should do. But, beyond that you're just in the same toxic masculinity cycle that he's stuck in. Which is what this is. He has a faulty understanding of what a man should be like because that's the society he was raised in. He has feelings because he has a faulty understanding of what being a man should be like. Making fun of him is like saying "HA HA YOU WERE RAISED TO PERPETUATE A CYCLE OF VIOLENCE AGAINST YOURSELF DUE TO NOT LIVING UP TO EXTERNAL IDEALS OF MASCULINITY WHICH ARE OFTEN CONTRADICTORY!" which is kinda... I mean, it's something. He recognizes something is wrong, that's why he was asking how to get over it, but I don't think he realizes what is wrong: his concept of what it means to be masculine and male. He'll never see this but: You're not less of a man because a woman fought for you. It doesn't take away your value because being a provider, defender, all of that isn't the whole of what it means to be a guy. What happened there was a sign not of masculinity or femininity but of partners, playing a team sport of life together. Your effort to call the police was not less valid than her dramatically jumping in front of you. If you hadn't then the person never would have been caught and never would have suffered the consequence. Your efforts COMBINED with your wife saved your life, defended your honor, took someone who could have hurt others off the street. Your wife's love for you isn't her protecting you because you can't do so your self. It's a sign of the value you have to her. What you want to tell your next therapist is: "I can't parse my feeling less masculine because my wife protected me, and I know it's irrational. I need help working past this." And honestly? I wish you well. You know it's not right to be resentful. You know she did nothing wrong. You know it's irrational. But, right now you're going to have to WORK past what society has told you to get your emotions to know what your brain already does. Do NOT look at things that are going to make you feel more masculine or talks about how women want weaker men or blah blah -- those are traps trying to bring down others to raise you up. Good luck out there.

@SirBinding

3 ай бұрын

Cool, he's still a scumbag

For the fourth story, This is exactly why women who don't want kids shouldn't be forced to have children. I swear every time I hear a man force the idea of having children on his wife or partner, It's just so sad. It's kinda ironic, though when they get so shocked when she isn't motherly to the children. Of course, the woman who didn't want kids most likely isn't gonna be happy with her own. I feel so bad for that woman in the fourth story, If anything for her own mental health, it Probably would be best to leave her husband and sign away her rights. Because personally, this relationship doesn't sound like ill last, especially after this. Seriously it's not that hard to understand.

@KadeStringer2.0

3 ай бұрын

She wasn’t forced to

@mymelody589

3 ай бұрын

@KadeStringer2.0 pressing the idea down someone's throat over and over is forcing in the end. I've seen you in the comments, And it's okay if you don't agree. But it's common knowledge, She never wanted kids, So she shouldn't have any. So don't be shocked when she isn't motherly to her own.

@mushroommagic1697

3 ай бұрын

I feel so sad for her too, she should have left him before she had a child with him. She should have respected herself not some man who dumps all responsibility on her. Also that poor baby is neglected and will be raised in a house full of conflict and will not be loved or cared for properly. Because his mother is in PPD and his father is too obsessed with the idea of having "a happy family". But doesn't puts in the effort to make his family happy. I find it amusing that op's priority is to nag his wife for not being motherly enough, if he was as delighted to be a father as he claims he is, he should have taken full responsibility for his child, not expect his wife to miraculously become the best mother and play the happy family for him.

@LLandS18

3 ай бұрын

​@@KadeStringer2.0She was forced. Forest isn't always done with physical means. Sometimes it's done with manipulation, gaslighting, abuse withdrawals of affection. Just because you don't understand basic human concepts doesn't mean the rest of us don't.

@KadeStringer2.0

3 ай бұрын

@@mymelody589no it’s not

Story 3: You know what i find awful? Op’s says that her sister “should brijg her concerns up with her” but like… she HAS…she told her how uncomfortable husband was making her and Op told her she was overthinking. I REALLY hope sister gets out of that house and Op actually sees sense. Also anyone wana bet that husband isn’t ACTUALLY autistic, and he just uses that as an excuse?

@mushroommagic1697

3 ай бұрын

I have a STRONG suspicion op's husband isn't autistic but uses autism as an excuse for his scummy behavior. Many people use autism as an excuse to be pric*ks, instead of seeing their wrong they'll slap the card "I hAvE aUtIsM So YoU aRE MistrEatinG mE, I Am So VicTimISED." Op keeps defending her husband, how could her sister be comfortable in confiding with her. I think if her sister will tell op about the husband being creepy, op will brush it off as, "he is just quirky, stop being a drama queen." The husband is outright mean and suffocating to op's sister. He is at the edge between bully and creepy. If he takes her sister's money he might want her to never go away, wither because he is a creep or because he wants free labor around the house, or both.

Story 3(?): As someone who’s autistic & AFAB, (assigned female at birth) I’ve noticed quite a few autistic men who will use their autism to excuse bad/creepy behavior. If my partner’s sibling told me something made him uncomfortable, I’d immediately try to work on that behavior. Last story: the thing that stood out most to me was OP’s comments of “that’s all behind her”. I’ve tried to take my life before. It’s never “behind you”, even with medication. If I miss more than 1 day of medication, I can fall into a terrible spiral. If OP’s ex wasn’t taking her medication & watching what was happening to her dad, I can’t imagine the kind of pain she must have been feeling.

@arrowbliss2515

3 ай бұрын

The amount of autistic AMAB people that get their behaviour handwaived away is upsetting. Especially when Autistic AFAB people still have to push to be seen

So, story 2. OP is in an awkward position of trying to be there for his friend and look after his pregnant wife. The doctor saying that this thing that isn't much of a concern but has the wife on bed rest makes sense, it's a preventative measure. So it may really just be nothing to be that concerned about. The wifes reaction seems very overblown.

As someone who's autistic: "What did you get me?" Absolutely would say as banter. "Where's my hug?" Absolutely would say to a good friend if I was in a friendly mood. Taking money. Absolutely wouldn't do as what's mine is mine and what's yours is yours.

What is up with men begging their wives for kids and when they do have kids the men start to mistreate both the mother and the kids

@kaykay8855

3 ай бұрын

Because they believe in ‘traditional gender roles’ even though they are sh*tty providers themselves.

@LoretaGalvonaite-nf7xb

3 ай бұрын

They don't want or like fatherhood they just like the easthetic of it.

@KadeStringer2.0

3 ай бұрын

@@kaykay8855not true

@RiveroftheWither

3 ай бұрын

​@@KadeStringer2.0It is actually quite common.

@kaykay8855

3 ай бұрын

@@KadeStringer2.0 yes it is. Op coerced his wife after she said that she didn’t want kids. He’s a terrible husband for forcing her into having a baby, a baby she doesn’t want, he’s not a good father for not providing his the necessities he needs. He is a horrible father and husband.

He should PROUD to show his wife to other people after that. Geez.

feel that in the second story, rslash is wrong. Does the man have to look after his wife and kid? Yes, but he also has to make sure his best friend is okay too, because depression most times can lead to suicide. OP is still with his wife, just not 24/7. Like OP says, he's at the lowest point of his life and he "needs" to be there for his best friend. I don’t think he’s lying, even if his life is on bed rest. It's not like he just leaves her there for days to go help his friend. To make it short, I don’t think OP in the second story is in the wrong or in the right; I just don’t like the way rslash made him seem like a super bad guy.

@Darkwolfpocco

Ай бұрын

If she's on bed rest at 7 weeks, that baby is high risk. Yes the husband is the bad guy. If She was healthy and there was no complications then he wouldn't be.

@maxine3161

22 күн бұрын

Exactly my thoughts, if he is evenly splitting his time then it's fair to help both people. Losing a spouse and having nobody to help you or support you, that's just a recipe for disaster. It's a really bad situation for everyone involved really

If kids are that important to you, talk about it before marriage, and believe your partner if they say they don't want kids

1st Story: Guy is a pos. His wife saved his life, ended up being scarred and he calls her ugly. She deserves a better man, a better husband and a better man for her child.

Bro in the first story mentions having a therapist. That therapist is clearly terrible as fuck.

@Earthsage

3 ай бұрын

Honestly no. The therapist apparently “made him feel bad for feeling this way” which translated to: The therapist saw through his BS and now OP can’t come back the therapist cuz he feels “guilty”. I’d say the therapist did a good job not taking his side it seems

The story with the post partum mother yelling to “get him (the baby) out of my house” broke my heart! 😢😢😢 The wife obviously didn’t want children and the husband basically bullied her into getting pregnant! I truly feel sorry for that baby! I hope he can get the love he deserves and the mother gets the help she desperately needs! The husband better shape up!!!

@Raketo900

3 ай бұрын

Which kind of help do you think the mother needs?

@RiveroftheWither

3 ай бұрын

The only help she needs is to get a divorce and relinquish custody. As a child free woman I'm just so tired of the mentality that once a woman gives birth she magically "becomes a mother" or if not then she can be "fixed" to become one. It sucks that the baby has to go through this but at the day the husband is solely responsible.

@Simipourfangirl

3 ай бұрын

​@@Raketo900 mainly therapy for the scummy husband she got. She must have felt awful carrying someone she didn't even want to have and then not getting any help from her husband. She had a mental break right there and op doesn't seem to care.

@bellerain381

3 ай бұрын

@@RiveroftheWither I’m sorry-I didn’t mean for my comment to come off like that. I meant the mother would get therapy-to help her through post partum depression. Not to get “fixed” but to just work through the trauma of giving birth! Yes, I lay all the blame on the husband.

@bellerain381

3 ай бұрын

@@Simipourfangirl yes I agree 100%!

Story 2 - Imagine your wife is bedridden, then your best friend's fiance dies. I don't think OP is the Devil here, definitely not correct, but this cannot be an easy time for him to make decisions. Notice that the funeral hasn't even happened yet so this is literally within a few days of her death probably. Its easy for us to judge him without going through such difficult circumstances ourselves, but in the moment its always difficult to see things clearly. In this situation, you should obviously stay with your wife and help her, that is something critically important.

@lulolie

3 ай бұрын

Yeah he's not a devil but I definitely think he's an ass for not taking her seriously

@MyMika2004

3 ай бұрын

@@lulolie i mean shes not even bed ridden, the doctor only reccomended resting more

@auraguardianemerald6667

3 ай бұрын

R/ isn't getting it. Bedrest means just don't do anything strenuous, so no heavy lifting, exercising, standing for hours, etc. Granted dude should care more about his wife, but I can also see his point of view. I had a friend who died suddenly and I wanted to be there for her family but my family wanted me to put THEM first. I tried my best to juggle but her brother ended up in the hospital from a s--cide attempt because he was at his low and he would try to talk to me but my grandma would always limit me to 5 min conversations, his parents didn't live near us so he had no one else really so me not being able to talk to him crushed him even more cause in his head I didn't wanna talk to him. It wasn't the case it was just hard to juggle both situations.

@GiordanDiodato

3 ай бұрын

@@lulolie depends if he's downplaying her condition or not.

1st story- You definitely ARE the AH! Put your big boy pants on and be grateful your wife saved you. If you cheat, you’ll hate yourself for the rest of your life. And everyone else who finds out will hate you also.

2nd story. Assuming everything said is true. Then the wife is 100% the problem. OP goes to spend time with his best friend for 1 night a week and the wife complains that she can't do so much. Yeah, you're on bedrest. Stay in bed for the night. Whatever it is you want done can wait till the next morning. I'd say, assuming everything we've been told to be true that OP gets 1/5 & OP's wife get's 4/5. Most likely though, OP get's 3/5.

@lavenderpotato5734

5 күн бұрын

Honestly I’d give the wife 2/5 or 3/5 just because pregnancy hormones makes people unreasonable sometimes.

Story 1: if OP wanted to feel like a “man” he should have caught the guy who just assaulted his wife and “repaid him in full” then accept the consequences of manliness that may come later. Nothing says real man like avenging your wife. Edit: and going to prison for it.

To the op with the "hur dur women should be mothers" if you want a baby so much you should get pregnant then instead of forcing your wife and being fucking disappointed when she has post partum depression

Story 5: OP is a mile high piece of trash, but the girl's self-ending is not his fault.

@lulolie

3 ай бұрын

How on earth wasn't it?

@somnus970

3 ай бұрын

​@@lulolieit was her decision, plan and simple. Yes, his action were part of the cause, but ultimately, she had choices to get help. Don't get me wrong. He's a piece of trash for cheating but he's not for getting to his breaking point and breaking contact

In Dragon Ball Super:When Beerus slapped Bulma so hard he made her unconscious,What did Vegeta do? A)Hate her enough to cheat on her B)Unleash anger beyond beyonding and attack Beerus,knowing full well the gap between them C)Complain about his pride being destroyed for the entire arc

@SirBinding

3 ай бұрын

In DBZ it would've absolutely been C

@bb2ridder757

3 ай бұрын

​@@SirBindingeh did you forget what happened when cell gave trunks a reality check. Vegeta went full rage mode.

@SirBinding

3 ай бұрын

@@bb2ridder757 Alright lemme rephrase Early DBZ it would've been C

@jupitercoyote348

3 ай бұрын

@@SirBindingmaybe when they weren’t married yeah, but I 100% think that any time after android saga he would be enraged

@DaBaseBallZ

3 ай бұрын

@SirBinding Ok we get it,you hate DBZ Vegeta,But I ain't talking about him,i'm talking about DBS Vegeta

Okay the story with the crying sister and horrible husband... Made my blood boil when OP said "Well uh akshully, he has autism, so he doesn't understand that it's wrong to treat her this way". I and some of my closest friends have autism. We know and understand how to be nice to others, and if we do do something wrong? We owe up and apologize, none of us have ever used autism as an excuse! People like the husband in this story and the enabling OP are people wo give the neurodivergent community a bad name EDIT: Also wanted to add, this husband reminded me a lot of an abusive ex boyfriend. He'd do things similar to what this husband did and would say "I didn't take my meds, oopsie!" (He didn't have autism, but he was neurodivergent). When I came out about the fact he SA'd me, people used that as an excuse. I fear for the sister's safety in this one

I find it necessary to point out thay there is literally zero evidence that bed rest during pregnancy, at home or in the hospital, is effective at treating preterm labor or preventing premature birth. Sorry but rslash is completely wrong- when the medical advice given is to do something that isn't even evidence based treatment it *definitely* isn't a serious concern. Advising bed rest is the equivalent of advising a nice cup of tea- it's a stress relieving placebo at best and even that's stretching the truth because other placebo treatments actually *do* have evidence of effectiveness. If anything the evidence suggest that pregnant women who spend too much time being sedentary due to bed rest are worse off. Staying in bed all day isn't good for anybody and I'm guessing the doctor made that clear too and that she just doesn't like that she isn't his one and only focus right now. In ordinary circumstances that would be understandable due her being in her their trimester with complications regardless of how minor, but under these circumstances- she's just being an entitled brat. Spending one night a week with his recently grieving best friend from childhood is in no way an asshole move- her response to it is an asshole move though. She can get whatever she "needs" herself and there is absolutely zero evidence even indicating otherwise- but there is evidence that remaining sedentary is contrary to what's best for her and her pregnancy. She needs to wake up to herself and do some research on what bed rest actually achieves- nothing.

Love how OP is like “hmmm my wife doesn’t want kids” and then goes “why doesn’t she want to love our baby (that she didn’t want)” what a douche. Edit: to clarify, I don’t think any kid/person should be neglected by their parents.

@znerd3664

3 ай бұрын

Admittedly he should have been more open about kids being a major issue before getting married(banking on someone changing their mind about wanting kids is a very bad plan to say the least), but he's not wrong that mothers have a duty to love and nurture their children This is as much her son as he is OP's son; you don't get to bring a child into the world and then immediately throw the baby out of your house. OP's wife clearly needs therapy for PPD, and both OP and his wife completely failed in the communication department prior to this

@FrogAtPond

3 ай бұрын

​@@znerd3664 No, she does not have the duty to care for and love a child she didn't even want. You don't get to coerce someone into doing something you know they don't want (in this case having a child) and then act surprised when they don't act like you want them to. I find it absolutely insidious to go after someone who doesn't share your values and then basically forcing them to give you a child. This is about power and control and putting your own wants above your partner's wants. Disgusting!

@mushroommagic1697

3 ай бұрын

@@FrogAtPond You nailed it, I have the suspicion op wanted a child for the sake of having a child, he seems more in love with the fever dream of the happy family. He doesn't seems involved and prepared, he just wants his wife to do everything and play the happy family for him. Look at him, he doesn't brings enough money to support the child, he also goes out. Instead of taking full responsibility for the child he wanted, he nags his wife to take up the responsibility and take full care of the child. They do not have enough money, yet he doesn't takes a second job, because man should also sacrifice themselves for their families not just women.

@75ur15

3 ай бұрын

​@@FrogAtPondvery serious question, this is not a trick and no hidden meaning, 100% straightforward Apply this logic to...horizontal tango and having a baby by accident...he wanted her to abort, she chose to keep it, does he have an obligation and why? I aks, beciase she was NOT forced, she was NOT coerced..she was talked into it by attrition...either she still had a choice and chose to give in, or she isn't an adult deserving the rights and responsibilities of an adult human...you literally can't have it both ways.....she made a choice, she is responsible for that choice.

@znerd3664

3 ай бұрын

@@FrogAtPond there's a difference between "coercing" and "convincing" but no matter what you call it, she is an adult with free will who freely chose to have this baby. I'm not saying he didn't pressure her heavily or(probably) threaten to leave her if she didn't agree to have at least 1 kid, but at the end of the day she still made a conscious decision to bring this baby into the world. Yes, mothers DO have a duty to their child. She made the choice to make this baby and bring him into the world, she owes it to him to love and raise him.

Story 3: Crying makes migranes worse. If it was migranes, the sister might be whimpering in pain but I doubt crying as a result of a migrane. I've had lots of migranes because I'm sensitive to light. I think the husband is inappropriately touching the sister. I was inappropriately touched as a child by a grandparent and he always demanded I give him hugs and I'm always snappy and tense around him. I can't say for certain but I think it's very likely the husband is a perv.

1st story : "I've had to delete myself off dating apps" 2:56 Did OP just admit he had dating apps on his phone *BEFORE* his wife took the hit? (that she should have left him take, in all honesty) and as someone who has over 20 concussions, 4 of which were severe from incidents like me breaking a car window with my head...twice, DO NOT MESS WITH HEAD INJURIES! The brain is insane in what it can do but it's so fragile. *BE CAREFUL WITH YOUR NOODLE!*

@elizaalmabuena

3 ай бұрын

it was either before the incident, or he had started to attempt to cheat on her after the incident (not committing in full and deleting the accounts)

Story about the sister/husband: If OP started dating her husband 14 years ago, then she was 19 and he was 21. OP’s sister is currently 19, and OP’s husband is freaking her out.

That last story... holy fucking shit.

mmm, yeah, no. I don't believe that "hE's JuSt QuIrKy! TeE-HeE!" line for the Autistic story...for even a second. As an Aspie myself, I understand impulsiveness, but I would never EVER consider *stealing* from someone and then going as far as telling people "where's my hug?". I would ASK if they wanted a hug, not demanded it. AND EVEN AT THAT, if they said no, I would say something along the lines of: "I understand. Thank you for telling me.". Something very fishy is going on and, as others have mentioned, the OP is clueless.

The guy from the last story genuinely deserves to live through at least 5 events of similar distress level to the one his ex gf went through. May that poor woman find peace in the afterlife, she did not deserve that treatment.

Also, kindly noticed that, in the first post, OP was BEGGING to get kids, but his wife was on the fence. How much you wanna bet that she only did it to please him? AND THEN the dude turns around and is all like "not only is my wife ugly because of a giant scar on her face, I also hate her because of her pregnancy"

Sometimes I think i’m a bad person. This stuff reminds me that I very much am not.

I think you should start doing a devil rating because that last guy earned the rare 5/5 devils score. Her death is on his hands.

@Robin93k

2 ай бұрын

No! The name and rating absolutely doesn't make sense... The majority of these people have God complexes, and are just as happy to eradicate everyone that disagrees with them. The Devil would never! The Devil wants everyone to be able to do what makes them happy! God wants everyone to bow to their wishes! That Men is the prime example of the classic religious Christian men! These men literally consider themselves "the master of their own house" to equalise themselves with God. The devil loves all sexualities because, he doesn't care of you have kids. God demands you to make exclusively hetero porn, so that he can watch it.

Story #1: OP is a scumbag. His wife took the hit for him and got disfigured because of that. And he has nothing better to do than think about possibly cheating and whining that his ego got bruised? LIKE DUDE! You could've died if she hadn't tanked the hit! 🤬

Child free story - She needs to divorce this turd & RUN.

@KadeStringer2.0

3 ай бұрын

She ain’t child free

@Chuckf66

3 ай бұрын

@@KadeStringer2.0 Not any more, she's not!

"I had to delete myself off dating apps before making a mistake" Buddy, why the .... are you even ON dating apps while in a (I assume monogamous) relationship???

Story 1 reminds me of a story in Korea where a guy saved his girlfriend from her burning house. He lost all his hair and looks like a zombie. The sad part is that the girlfriend dumped him.

Story 1: Alternate take. It's obvious what he's thinking is messed up, so I don't even need to go into that. He mentioned at the start his therapist. Obviously we don't know what happened there in detail, but he said he "felt low" and refused to go back. OP is just self-aware enough to understand that his thoughts are wrong and wants help sorting them out. If his therapist shamed him or scolded him, then the therapist might be the even worse bad guy here. OP needed help working through his messed up thoughts, not someone he trusted with those thoughts to rub them in his face. For all we know the therapist did handle it well and OP just STILL took it poorly, but there are some REALLY bad therapists and horror stories about them. Therapists can be bad at their job just like anyone else. That might be what happened here, in which case I would sympathize with OP because in that case... he tried to figure things out and got screwed by someone who was supposed to help.

@davidweaver4436

2 ай бұрын

As usual, Rslash with the "worship your spouse" bs. Other people who know better than me, and better than Rslash, have weighed in that "bed rest" isn't nearly as severe as he assumed it was. And yeah, your best friend whose partner just passed is a pretty big priority. OP was in an unenviable position and doing his best. "Even if he's not lying he doesn't look good." Yeah, OK, let's see how good you'd look if you were trying to handle that situation Rslash. Eff off. You talk about how important your SO is. Well his best friend just lost his. That means he lost what, by your ruling, was his #1 person. OP just wants to hold the guy together while it's still fresh. OP looks just fine in my opinion.

That last story, theres a special place in hell for him! I had a partner who took a one way trip across the country, not bothering to tell me he was never coming back and had left to go be with the person he had been cheating on, and was engaged to. I had no idea about any of this untill after the fact. He ghosted me completely and I've never heard from him since. This all happened two months after my mother died unexpectedly. I cant say I blame the girl for killing herself, I nearly did the following weekend once we had pieced everything together. I am incredibly lucky to have the support of my family to have gotten through it alive. It's been six years since then, I'm now engaged for two of those, and I found my life's calling due to that horrible experience. Whereever you are Mouse, thanks for leaving, and I hope it was worth it.

First OP feels emasculated. His thought and actions complete the process. It's official: his wife is more of a man than he is. Not because of how she handled the attack, but how he handles his feelings.

@bellerain381

3 ай бұрын

Yep! He needs to address that and get extra therapy!

@ramenbomberdeluxe4958

3 ай бұрын

This is definitely the patriarchy at work. “But man strong! Woman not meant to protect, so therefore since me is man, me weak for letting weak woman do it!!” It’s both OP being a victim of the male side of the patriarchy and him being a petulant baby about things. If he doesn’t shape up quick, then ohhh boy…

Story 5: okay. So, first of all, he pretty much peer pressured her into having HIS kid. This was not her choice; she was COERCED into having his kid. Then, when things are starting to fall a part, he thinks the best solution is to call CPS on her?! Does he not think he'd be responsible, too? Not to mention that there are plenty of mothers that do not choose to nurse for varying reasons; some women simply CAN'T nurse, as in they would need to rely on external sources regardless of if they wanted that bond or not. So him claiming that she needs to do that is RIDICULOUS! When I couldn't nurse my child, I was told a full baby was a happy baby. And guess what? Even though I wanted to nurse my baby, that does not mean I was able to for the amount of milk my LO needed, so, guess what, we had to go to formula as well. It wasn't what we wanted, but it was what we HAD to do. Suck it up. Deal with it. Plus, if she isn't able to mentally take the load of taking care of him, guess what, dude? That's why there is daycare! I personally do not agree with daycare especially if one parent can be at home to take care of their little one, but there are circumstances, especially in this day and age, where daycare is a necessity. If you're struggling just to buy formula, it may be time to consider sending her back into the workforce and sending your son to daycare. That would be a better solution than calling FREAKING CPS!!!! There are so many better solutions you can do other than that! If your parents are retired, having them watch him, asking a close friend to watch him, sending him to daycare like I suggested. I'm sorry, you're someone who I would NOT want to associate with. I wouldn't carry your child if this would be how you would treat me.

Five weeks ago, I had a special class with the creator of the humanized approach to attemptees from the Brazilian fire departament. He said something to us (a group of psychologists specialized in atemptees) that cut very deeply: "I don't believe in empathy. Just in compassion." Everyone in that room immediately argued, but then, it started to sink and we started to understand what exactly that meant: I should never be this arrogant and say I understand last OP's ex-gf's suffering. I can't. You can't. OP can't. Even other atemptees can't, because no situation is identical to another. As someone who personally believe in afterlife and couldn't do anything to save her life, I can just pray she stopped suffering by now. My hope is that the shock will at least wake the last OP into finally growing up and take this opportunity to live and make true changes about his ways, even if the root of these changes is regret. To develop compassion, I hope. For the sake of everyone else around him, at least.

In Aus getting hit in the back of the head is called a ‘King Hit’ or ‘Coward Punch’. Many people have died from this, I know someone who has died from a coward punch. The Aus government even ran ads about how bad it is with famous boxers and athletes. OP LITERALLY owes his life to her.

1st story. 100% with op's hindsight. That way the wife wouldn't have a scar, nor being socially cast aside nor being potentially cheated. Maybe op would be dead but well, you win some and lose some

Last story: I may be a bad, vindictive person for this, maybe it's my own trauma speaking. But i hope, oh, I hope, that the last OP who betrayed and abandoned his grieving girlfriend in her darkest moments after she was patient and understanding with him diring his, will suffer. I hope every person he'll meet will know what a disgusting person he is.

For the guy who’s wife has a scar from saving him. In the dark, everyone is a 10. Your wife is a 12 because she protected her loved one, bore the pain and damage with humor and honor and you disrespect her instead of embracing her. You really don’t deserve such a fine woman.

Last story- Something huge is missing from this story. My ex has been stalking me on and off for close to a decade, and I still haven't filed a restraining order against her. He's obviously withholding something big.

@hobbbess

3 ай бұрын

There's also the fact that they don't just give out restraining orders like candy for no reason. there had to have been a justified reason for the filing. i too think op in that story left out a lot of details that would make the story make more sense, or the story is fake. one or the other.

@DrunkSamurai

3 ай бұрын

@@hobbbess Contacting somebody who doesn't want you to contact them is a valid reason. They will always give them out for that.

@kittycat21223

3 ай бұрын

@@DrunkSamurai No they won’t had a friend try to get a restraining order against a girl and they wouldn’t give it to him even though she tried to ruin his life.

@joetiger7121

3 ай бұрын

@@kittycat21223 depends on the state. in some places it's pretty easy to get at least a temporary one in family court. they get abused in custody battles all the time for this reason.

@DrunkSamurai

3 ай бұрын

@@kittycat21223 I don't believe you.

Story 4: Dude. You forced your wife to have a kid despite her clearly telling you SHE DOES NOT WANT TO! Are you seriously denser than a neutron star?!

@75ur15

3 ай бұрын

Please define forced? If you remove her agency you treat HER like a child. He wore her down, fine, but at no point does it mention he applied force of any kind. Either she is responsible for having the kid or she is a kid he4slef, unless he physically attacked her or threatened violence, she had a choice. Even if it was an ultimatum, divorce or kid, that is still a choice. Please keep in mind, I'm not defending someone who would marry her under the crumstances and the pressure her into having a kid she didn't want, he is 100% am a hole. But if you excuse her giving in, you remove her agency and make a child of her. She is an adult or not, and if she is and deserves respect, she also has responsibility for her cboices.

@f3nnixx

3 ай бұрын

@@75ur15he coerced her into having my a child. he heard her say ‘i don’t want kids’ and took it as a challenge rather than a boundary. now he’s shocked and upset because his wife isn’t being maternal to a child she didn’t even want in the first place!

@BadassHater1

3 ай бұрын

@@75ur15 are you serious? She told him "No" to having kids MULTIPLE TIMES, and he still pressured her into having one. If this is not forcing someone to do something against their will then George Washington is my biological mother.

@75ur15

3 ай бұрын

@@f3nnixx people keep saying coerced, coercion requires physical violence, or a threat...generally the threat would have to be illegal in some way, or it isnt coercion.....the word has meaning. Call it wearing someone down or whatever that fits, bit not a word that doesn't. I say this, not to excuse what he did (he was in the wrong) but to say that she doesn't get a pass for making a decision to have a child instead of leaving.....she is an adult, she is responsible for her decisions..which she STILL HAD the ability to make freely..she could have left....or just stayed and accepting the pestering....but she CHOSE to create a human, after human exists is too late to back out...again, he was in the wrong, but that doesn't make her right....if you think it does please excuse every father who walks away when she won't abort, or you are a hypocrite

@ericdugdale8585

3 ай бұрын

@@75ur15 I feel sorry for whoever you might end up with when you begin your dating life.

Wow That last story I cannot believe that When he says he’s “in such shock he’s not capable to feel anything” I think he’s just not capable of feeling anything PERIOD. How the hell are you going to do that to someone, leave them while they’re trying to take care of a loved one, and all you can think about is not being ‘satisfied’. Hope he can never forget this, although seeing how quick he was to get with someone else it really doesn’t seem like he actually feels guilt over this. She deserved so much more than him, and I hope she’s able to rest well

Gotta love how op 4 thinks he can bully his wife into being a good mother

@KadeStringer2.0

3 ай бұрын

He didn’t try to bully her .

@SirBinding

3 ай бұрын

​@@KadeStringer2.0He did.

@KadeStringer2.0

3 ай бұрын

@@SirBindingno he didn’t

With our youngest son, there were complications where my wife was under bed rest for 6 months. She wasn’t allowed to walk more than 2 blocks. It was rough on both of us especially as my job had mandatory overtime. She had to travel with me on one occasion (lack of compassion by supervisor). It took a lot out of us and tiring with daily remote monitoring through telephone lines (30 years ago). Our son was born on time and healthy which was great. We could have another but the 2 was considered enough by us (first pregnancy was normal). Any subsequent pregnancy would also require bed rest so I cut that out.

I’ve got autism and adhd. That’s not an excuse for stealing and the fact that the wife makes excuses saying he can’t help it blah blah is beyond ridiculous. What an awful sister that poor girl has being stuck with a guy asking her for physical contact and stealing from her. How deranged is that wife???

My shitty ex dumped me after 10 years in a group text with his family telling them I wasn’t coming for the holidays while I was saying goodbye to my dying grandfather. Like literally as my plane was landing. People suck.

Rest in Peace to tge last OP's late ex and her father. They deserved better. I can not even imagine the pain OP's late ex' mom is going through. I hope OP caries this guilt with him for the rest of his pathetic life, and that new GF of his too.

@KadeStringer2.0

3 ай бұрын

He doesn’t to feel effected like that

Yeah that first guy doesn't seem like he thinks his wife is ugly. He feels emasculated. He is far too fragile about his self image and would rather die than be saved by a woman. Seems like the type to get abusive.

for story 1: i would’ve MAYBE agreed with him if he was mad at her for endangering himself, but bro only wanted to take the hit so he could feel like a hero 💀 if your wife’s physical appearance changing AFTER SHE SAVED YOUR LIFE is making you unfaithful then you never loved her at all man

Third story: When are these people going to learn that authism isn't a free pass to douchebaggery. Also, I don't feel OP is oblivious to what's her husband doing, I feel she is intencionally ignoring it.

I absolutely hate when you express that you don't want kids, then some rando comes in saying you'll change your mind. It's like, no I won't. I know myself better than you do so but out. If you want kids, good for you, but some of don't. And dating someone with the intention of changing their mind is awful

@randayno934

3 ай бұрын

It’s funny that in an age of defying gender roles, not wanting to have kids is still pretty taboo

OP seeing all these red flags and seeing her sister breaking and saying “something could be wrong here but eh maybe I’m just overthinking things” is the same as dudes in Skyrim with an arrow in their skull saying “must’ve been the wind”

When you meet someone and they say they don’t want kids, BELIEVE THEM!!! That poor woman was bullied into having a baby she didn’t want and is clearly having severe postnatal depression after having him. Don’t marry someone if you want kids and they don’t. Also nobody has a duty to let a baby suck their breast if the idea repulses them.

He stole money, but didn't think it'd be a big deal? Explain to him what laws are, if he believes in God- also the 10 commandments, and that theft is a crime. If he still minimizes, then he's cool with you helping yourself to his things- after all, you're family, so it's nbd.

@desireeloveros1055

3 ай бұрын

From ops description stealing seems to be the least of sister's concerns He gives me sexual predator red flags

bro aint no way op thought his wife would leave HIM a single dad XD he cant even take care of his own fee fees ffs

So, I'm going against the grain on story 2, and I am going to share my personal experience before giving my opinion. When I was pregnant with my daughter I was put on bed rest starting at the 6 month of pregnancy due to trauma I sustained from an old vehicular injury. I had damage to my spine and pelvis, and the doctor was worried about what pregnancy would do to my old injuries, so as a precaution put me on bed rest. It was to the point that a couple of nurses told me on the day I delivered not to worry that if they noticed that there was any indication of something happening that they had an O.R prepped and ready if I needed a cesarean. WITH THAT BEING SAID, I was told by my doctor that I should be able to do normal things around the house and should have no trouble getting around, and to call if anything ever happened. I feel as though with story 2 that there isnt enough information, for a proper judgement to be made the information of why she is on bedrest should be known, along with if she maybe has a family member that can help if need be, along with the extent of things she is allowed to do. I do think that the husband is wrong to be spending all of his excess time with his grieving friend, but with the current information at my disposal I don't think he's outright the devil. This is just my personal opinion however, I hope that the wife can deliver her baby safely and that they can work out this issue together.

That last one generally pisses me off. He knew what she has struggled and is struggling with, to break up is just pushing her over the edge. What a little coward who doesn't deserve anyone else.

me when I accidentally rob a bank because I'm impulsive:

Guy who broke up with girlfriend was not responsible for her suicide. As someone who suffers from depression and is on meds but was unmedicated for many decades. Suicide is almost never (almost) anyone else’s fault. The world is full of crappy people and unfair situations. My life has had some seriously depressing situations. If it were not for a miracle, my suicide attempt in my twenties would have ended me. I have been there and I have no one to blame except for a mental illness that is now thankfully controlled by medication. Is the boyfriend a massive asshole? Hell yes! Is he responsible for her death? No.

@Human-kb6xc

3 ай бұрын

This. I mean, he made it clear he was struggling too. He said his ex was becoming volatile, so she could have been acting abusive toward him. Obviously not an excuse for his actions but it seems like she was just pushing him away which made him less attracted to her. Now the way he went about it was horrendous. He's basically like "it's over" and cut her out completely.

@lulolie

3 ай бұрын

I'd say this fits smack dab in that "almost," 1000% he should feel responsible for the rest of his life.

@rogue9230

3 ай бұрын

@user-tv9xd1uo6lmurderer is the wrong fundamental term to describe someone that helped cause a death indirectly

@KadeStringer2.0

3 ай бұрын

@user-tv9xd1uo6lhe didn’t cause her death