Quiet | Susan Cain | Talks at Google

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At least one-third of the people we know are introverts. They are the ones who prefer listening to speaking, reading to partying; who innovate and create but dislike self-promotion; who favor working on their own over brainstorming in teams. Although they are often labeled "quiet," it is to introverts that we owe many of the great contributions to society--from van Gogh's sunflowers to the invention of the personal computer.
Passionately argued, impressively researched, and filled with indelible stories of real people, Quiet shows how dramatically we undervalue introverts, and how much we lose in doing so. Taking the reader on a journey from Dale Carnegie's birthplace to Harvard Business School, from a Tony Robbins seminar to an evangelical megachurch, Susan Cain charts the rise of the Extrovert Ideal in the twentieth century and explores its far-reaching effects. She talks to Asian-American students who feel alienated from the brash, backslapping atmosphere of American schools. She questions the dominant values of American business culture, where forced collaboration can stand in the way of innovation, and where the leadership potential of introverts is often overlooked. And she draws on cutting-edge research in psychology and neuroscience to reveal the surprising differences between extroverts and introverts.
Perhaps most inspiring, she introduces us to successful introverts--from a witty, high-octane public speaker who recharges in solitude after his talks, to a record-breaking salesman who quietly taps into the power of questions. Finally, she offers invaluable advice on everything from how to better negotiate differences in introvert-extrovert relationships to how to empower an introverted child to when it makes sense to be a "pretend extrovert."
This extraordinary book has the power to permanently change how we see introverts and, equally important, how introverts see themselves.

Пікірлер: 257

  • @JordanArseno
    @JordanArseno11 жыл бұрын

    close your eyes and her voice is Phoebe from Friends.

  • @anusinov

    @anusinov

    4 жыл бұрын

    Yes!!

  • @hayleymadison6161

    @hayleymadison6161

    4 жыл бұрын

    I can't unhear it

  • @julietardos5044

    @julietardos5044

    4 жыл бұрын

    OMG You're right!

  • @jaynem1067

    @jaynem1067

    4 жыл бұрын

    Geez noooo, I can't believe you compared her to an actress whose primary role in Friends was a totally dumb character.

  • @djainagomes1525

    @djainagomes1525

    3 жыл бұрын

    OMG!! yeah!! I'm surprised

  • @ninjanerdstudent6937
    @ninjanerdstudent693710 жыл бұрын

    Susan Cain is a remarkable woman.

  • @elbeers50
    @elbeers5010 жыл бұрын

    She is hero of all introverts

  • @jamesmusante6222
    @jamesmusante62227 жыл бұрын

    you know me so well Susan... I cried a little when I watched this. someone understands what is going on. FINALLY!!!

  • @afroman4035

    @afroman4035

    3 жыл бұрын

    Yeah it’s amazing I had to buy the book because it seems it’s all about me

  • @conniechristenson7905
    @conniechristenson79058 жыл бұрын

    The stimulaton goes further than noise. For myself clutter is too stimulating also. So glad for this revolution.

  • @freeman8759

    @freeman8759

    8 жыл бұрын

    So true, that explains alot.

  • @MsVie2012

    @MsVie2012

    5 жыл бұрын

    i'd also add temperature and smell. all the senses. I'm beginning to equate being an introvert wurh being HSP (highly sensitive person)

  • @lifegrip6477

    @lifegrip6477

    3 жыл бұрын

    I'm the same with clutter. Interesting, as just tidying up, making more space, feels better.

  • @zarlabancat
    @zarlabancat7 жыл бұрын

    what an amazing woman. i'm watching this video for a class and i really relate to what she's saying. i don't feel so alone anymore.

  • @rhapsodyinbleu
    @rhapsodyinbleu11 жыл бұрын

    I totally understand what she means about an introverts idea of happiness when she says it's something quieter. I think for a lot of us, it's learning & educating ourselves. I love discovering a new interest on my own, whether it's a new hobby, an author, or genre of music, etc rather than going out dancing or partying like an extroverts idea of fun or happiness. It's the little things we keep to ourselves that make us happy.

  • @MasterChief0093
    @MasterChief00937 жыл бұрын

    This is fantastic info. I'm having relationship problems because I'm an extrovert and she's an introvert. I didn't understand introverts until a recent conflict. It was almost as if we were speaking two different languages... and even with that, she'd avoid talking in person like the plague. It was on a vacation where we were constantly doing things and she needed to recharge. I didn't truly understand it at the time even though i told her i did. I really did take the silence as a betrayal or possibly felt like she had given up on us. Or that she was not interested. But if that never happened I would never have looked into personalities. My new knowledge has helped me notice my friends who are introverts that get dragged along to everything and talk with them better. It's changing so much for me. I wish more people knew this info.

  • @bookfan1239

    @bookfan1239

    7 жыл бұрын

    MasterChief0093 The more you know. 😄 -cue the rainbows-

  • @terelmj
    @terelmj12 жыл бұрын

    I am loving this. In my everyday life I keep getting the message that I have to be more talkative, that I have to interact more, "have fun" (in the way an extrovert would define it) ... it is refreshing to hear somebody so succesful who did not have to change who she is in her core

  • @naturefreak799
    @naturefreak79911 жыл бұрын

    Money and fame in our society are becoming synonymous with extroversion. Being introverted, a thinker, or even a private individual is looked down by many. We are now expected in our culture to always be 'on", to be ready and able to be a social butterfly on the drop of a dime. This point in my life I would rather be broke living by myself (or a compatable significant other) in a cabin in the woods and being true to me. A life without introspection and private moments is not worth having.

  • @ReaLityBlue

    @ReaLityBlue

    6 жыл бұрын

    nature freak So true.

  • @ohnree4110

    @ohnree4110

    2 жыл бұрын

    beautifully said, I see the society I'm heading into (I'm 19) and I don't wanna participate. If you don't want to play, you shouldn't have to play, RIGHT???? No! You gotta jump through these fucking hoops just to be happy! Fuck that. Happiness is my foundation. I'd rather create alone than consume together.

  • @winterpoetry
    @winterpoetry12 жыл бұрын

    I found this immensely helpful! I'm an ambivert ENFP. I find my extroversion a hindrance and an embarrassment...to rely on a stimulant outside of myself feels disempowering. Looking to the outer world for validation can become an illness. Introverts don't need other people to have fun...they create whole worlds all in their minds. Introverts take very little from the world, but what they add speaks volumes.

  • @GrahamHillis
    @GrahamHillis11 жыл бұрын

    Great talk, many won't get the crux of the message. If I could have been there, i would have offered Susan a wide window and a nice silent coffee over the best view that was possible on the day. Introverts like us are so under-rated.

  • @karinasouza3792
    @karinasouza37925 жыл бұрын

    Listening to her is like listening to Phoebe from Friends!!! Lol... The same voice... How cool is that? :)

  • @nesha50421
    @nesha5042110 жыл бұрын

    Susan's voice is sooo soothing!!!!!! And I'm a proud Introvert woman!! ;))

  • @zendavis3501

    @zendavis3501

    6 жыл бұрын

    nesha50421 I would make love to you.

  • @lukasdi3623
    @lukasdi36233 жыл бұрын

    22:10 "we need to stop treating them (introverts) like something is wrong with them“ maybe exactly this is one part of the reason why they become great writers & thinkers ....

  • @MylesAlfama
    @MylesAlfama3 жыл бұрын

    I listened to this while i am in college right now and I love the amazing words she uses and shes an amazing lady I've never met her or heard of her! :)

  • @drfresh2000
    @drfresh200012 жыл бұрын

    Exactly, Seclusion gives you piece of mind.

  • @jkjkjkish
    @jkjkjkish11 жыл бұрын

    wow she's beautiful! thanks for speaking up for us introverts susan! :)

  • @lotedo1633
    @lotedo16337 жыл бұрын

    Introverts shouldn't be undervalued anymore in this society!

  • @foxiefair123

    @foxiefair123

    2 жыл бұрын

    Lol, I almost don’t care if they value me or not if they would just be quiet and leave me alone.😂

  • @TheAngelofvengance
    @TheAngelofvengance11 жыл бұрын

    wow i got chills when she said to get into groups i would be horrified

  • @dionysuspersona4039

    @dionysuspersona4039

    6 жыл бұрын

    silentsoul me every time in my honors class :')

  • @afroman4035

    @afroman4035

    3 жыл бұрын

    You’re introvert then as me

  • @ShunyamNiketana
    @ShunyamNiketana6 жыл бұрын

    I always enjoy and appreciate Susan. I loved the book. But I have some trouble with the notion that introverts use their alone time to "think" while extroverts use their social interacting to feel stimulated. Time spent in the cave is not necessarily "thinking" time. It may be creative; it may be spent learning (not cogitating); and it may be full of focus on something meaningful--but again, not to mull over things or solve a problem. I'm not saying that Susan describes introverts as primarily thinkers, but it does seem to be a tag assigned to them by others in the field.

  • @cameliamelillo1930
    @cameliamelillo19307 жыл бұрын

    She is so amazing! I love what she said at the end about ephemeral beauty!

  • @kockgunner
    @kockgunner4 жыл бұрын

    Even I got a feeling of dread when she said to split up into groups of 6

  • @rickeshpatel4025
    @rickeshpatel40256 жыл бұрын

    I'm so glad to hear this. I'm also mixed dominance and most of my life in the US they tried to make me do everything differently down to how I think and even trying to make me become right handed. I am more of a ambivert leaning towards introvert. I've spent the last few years truly figuring myself out and looking back I realize how stifled I was growing up, especially being from a typical Indian household where there was a very strict structure.

  • @martyvero1
    @martyvero110 жыл бұрын

    Isaac Newton: Truth is the offspring of silence and unbroken meditation

  • @beldonhuang
    @beldonhuang3 ай бұрын

    What an incredible and interesting talk this is! It's always amazing to listen to talks that talk about your personality that is otherwise not really discussed widely by other speakers. Her TED Talk is quite good as well~

  • @kuebrastic1219
    @kuebrastic12194 жыл бұрын

    I WISHED SHE HAD A KZread CHANNEL :(

  • @howardkoor2796
    @howardkoor27969 жыл бұрын

    Susan is a wonderful speaker. Love her ideas.

  • @denisesumtercommunity
    @denisesumtercommunity10 жыл бұрын

    Wow, what an eye-opener.

  • @MommytardRocks1
    @MommytardRocks110 жыл бұрын

    her voice is so musically soothing.

  • @lotedo1633
    @lotedo16337 жыл бұрын

    Amazing speech! Got to know more interesting information about introverts and extroverts likewise.

  • @Jarrodmontelius
    @Jarrodmontelius11 жыл бұрын

    We all want to be happy. That can be very different from success. Often success means endless work...

  • @naturefreak799
    @naturefreak79911 жыл бұрын

    For many, success is not about happiness. Success is for making ones parents happy, for being a "good American", for attracting high status mates, and many other reasons. Being succesful for ones own inner happiness and well being is far to uncommon.

  • @akaboo69
    @akaboo696 жыл бұрын

    I'm ISFP and I'm told I'm creative. But yeah I'm very Fi and Se. I love music and being in a band.

  • @TheNaturalistaFiles
    @TheNaturalistaFiles11 жыл бұрын

    This was simply brilliant! Makes sense for me.

  • @soccermadness23
    @soccermadness2311 жыл бұрын

    I find this woman very attractive!

  • @s70rk
    @s70rk12 жыл бұрын

    Thanks for posting this! :)

  • @hqu00
    @hqu005 жыл бұрын

    wow, "introversion and extroversion are...as core to our identities as our gender. therefore it's v important to understand where we truly fall on the introvert/extrovert spectrum.'

  • @blaq7427
    @blaq742711 жыл бұрын

    Actually one on one convo would be something an introvert would be better at . An extrovert would be better in a group setting.

  • @Hym138
    @Hym13811 жыл бұрын

    I love how I got an introvert and non-introvert dog.

  • @keenday2382
    @keenday2382 Жыл бұрын

    That's why i Love children they are so pure they don't see flaws everything looks beautiful in their eyes.. I met a 5 year old today that was 20 everytime I meet her I'm amazed at how smart she is.. each child I talk too I see their brilliance... I feel so grateful they feel comfortable around me catching them today funky dancing in front of me for me to catch them and just Crack a smile at their joy. I am a true Introvert i need quiet contiplation.. I can also be an extrovert.. I am a joyful bubbly and let's live it.. I don't see the warning.. lol 😆 🤣 lol 😂 then I crash.. lol boom right into it. That's me I'm both.. it's necessary to me both sides. Susan i love the way you think your very smart and I like when someone can bring me to deep thinking and different things to think about.. never thought about what the key is to my power? Secret garden to inner riches! Brilliant... mine is ideas 💡 🙂 😌 😐 integrity honesty being real.. i do know this.. I have a lot of different skills I'm not always using. Lovely talk thank you.. 😊

  • @blutsx
    @blutsx10 жыл бұрын

    great speaker

  • @albertnewton8608
    @albertnewton860810 жыл бұрын

    Thank you for saving my life ^_^

  • @Optimus6128
    @Optimus612811 жыл бұрын

    I never thought about this till you mentioned it. I could say that Phoebe the character in Friends (I don't know about the real Lisa Kudrow) is quite similar in terms that she seems to be an INFP personality type and that's what I could guess about Susan too. But anyway, I love what this woman is doing and yes she could be the real Phoebe in action (my favorite character in Friends btw). I am really happy about these talks and her book and the understanding that hopefully it will spark.

  • @heartofplaydoh7647
    @heartofplaydoh76472 жыл бұрын

    I am not in the room and My heart started beating real fast when she told the room they needed to share. As an introvert we don’t like these sort of surprises, hehe.

  • @premkumarpmourya8823
    @premkumarpmourya88232 жыл бұрын

    very good speech by Susan Cain. great talk.

  • @Paseosinperro
    @Paseosinperro11 жыл бұрын

    OMG, You are describing my mind perfectly.

  • @chrisw7470
    @chrisw7470 Жыл бұрын

    I just ran across this author/speaker, and as an introvert her material makes alot of sense to me. One question fellow introverts, listening to her voice were you thinking who does she sound like, and even look like the brunette version of? Lisa Kudrow? lol. I mean, her voice inflection, mannerisms etc, to me, seem very much like Lisa's.

  • @gobindatandi83
    @gobindatandi838 жыл бұрын

    Thank you very much to have kind of which inspired very much.................

  • @shawnleesg
    @shawnleesg10 жыл бұрын

    You should read her book. It's really good!

  • @MrPedrojose1967
    @MrPedrojose19675 жыл бұрын

    I am 52 y/o and this is the first time in my life I am thinking about introvert and extrovert. I was shy and insecure all my life except my 20's after the acomplish of my succeed military carear. Now, I am back to my coccon waiting for my second change of happiness. Thanks.

  • @md2v4
    @md2v411 жыл бұрын

    I think these states of being are not consistent or static for the rest of our lives, we change and adapt as we grow, as a kid i was an extravert but as a youth now am more of an introvert. Circumstances in life courses us to change our nature. And yes she is very attractive.

  • @rhapsodyinbleu
    @rhapsodyinbleu11 жыл бұрын

    Our idea of happiness also comes from within, like engaging in our interests in our choice of environments. I know I'm happiest painting or taking photographs and I can do this without any company and it's just great. Anything artistic & expressive makes us happy and we do it for ourselves, not really to show off to anyone.

  • @sleepingwizard09
    @sleepingwizard0911 жыл бұрын

    I'm an introvert and my grades are low because I don't participate in class discussions. :(

  • @IIArchonII
    @IIArchonII12 жыл бұрын

    This was an amazing and insightful talk. I hate to point this out because it seems shallow... But she makes a smacking sound between some sentences.

  • @ekimonid
    @ekimonid12 жыл бұрын

    that was awesome

  • @sleepingwizard09
    @sleepingwizard0911 жыл бұрын

    I love this woman.

  • @allenculbertson8170
    @allenculbertson8170 Жыл бұрын

    God bless U and thank you Susan 😇

  • @Jemsters1
    @Jemsters111 жыл бұрын

    At least you've discovered this so early (and yes, I say early) - I'm an introvert in my early 40s!

  • @dangreen6775
    @dangreen677511 жыл бұрын

    Great talk and questions. Regarding the last question about how an introverted leader might understandably feel that 'interruption is breaking a sacred trust' (@42:45), I would suggest looking into establishing a team culture that embraces and understands Dialogue Mapping. It may help?

  • @kdlyla
    @kdlyla11 жыл бұрын

    When I was a child people used to mark on their calenders when I would speak. My parents had a hard time assigning me to a punishment because I always found something to do as I was most happy being alone. I never enjoyed playing follow the leader and I hate trends. I prefer self study as opposed to college rule, however, when I'm finished preparing, I have the power to blow a class away as demonstrated to me in a speech 101 class while verbally composing a speech on bats.

  • @danumodjo
    @danumodjo11 жыл бұрын

    I'm a introvert. and it's hard

  • @silentgrove7670

    @silentgrove7670

    4 жыл бұрын

    I'm an extrovert and it's hard.

  • @Jarrodmontelius
    @Jarrodmontelius11 жыл бұрын

    As they say; you took the words from my mouth.

  • @alexandravanderbeek3765
    @alexandravanderbeek37656 жыл бұрын

    I've have seen many talks... didnt find yet, one that really celebrates each kind of personality, always seems (sometimes very subtle) that is about "which one is better" than the other one. And i can understand talking about people like jobs, spielberg, etc to show the power of introverts, but they were all extreme intelligent, if you are extreme intelligent, extreme creative, have natural talents for well, there is a more chances to succeed even when you are introvert, but what about people who are just average.

  • @elisepentz1063
    @elisepentz1063 Жыл бұрын

    These comments will need to be read later because I'll miss the whole talk because I'm interested in them

  • @jkes88
    @jkes8812 жыл бұрын

    interesting point of view

  • @LouielamsonTranNguyen
    @LouielamsonTranNguyen10 жыл бұрын

    Introverts - Extrovert! I had difficult to understand, which one I am belonging? I am enjoyed great an lectures... Thanks for sharing video.

  • @simpbeforeusleep
    @simpbeforeusleep10 жыл бұрын

    I changed my mind, I jumped to an extroverted conclusion to early :P

  • @UndisclosedID655
    @UndisclosedID65511 жыл бұрын

    I'd say this applies only to rural areas in Finland.

  • @MrTookieMonster
    @MrTookieMonster12 жыл бұрын

    I love you, Susan Cain.

  • @briansmitj2080
    @briansmitj20806 жыл бұрын

    I always thought I was shy but know I know I am an introvert and I realize all this time I am an introvert I thought I was different from everyone else but I love being alone it helps me to think.

  • @briansmitj2080

    @briansmitj2080

    6 жыл бұрын

    I'm not afraid to be alone. I just like to know what's going on around me

  • @briansmitj2080

    @briansmitj2080

    6 жыл бұрын

    I also love my close friends. I keep a close amount of friends in my circle

  • @briansmitj2080

    @briansmitj2080

    6 жыл бұрын

    But I think I am also an introvert in some way.

  • @greenmanhulk
    @greenmanhulk2 жыл бұрын

    All the introverts of the world like her.

  • @berbudy
    @berbudy11 жыл бұрын

    Susan Cain is my personal Hero

  • @akaboo69
    @akaboo696 жыл бұрын

    I was super silent in school

  • @pollolor15
    @pollolor153 жыл бұрын

    I'm late but can someone give some more advice about the last question?When i'm in a group of people and i'm trying to talk, often there's someone that interrupts me at the middle of my sentence, and i've tried the trick of rising my hand to make people know that i'm trying to talk but i'm always ignored.

  • @alancastillo7932

    @alancastillo7932

    2 жыл бұрын

    I get you, it happens to me a lot too. I haven't really found a way besides trying to up the volume of my voice which I really hate to do.

  • @MexicanThreads
    @MexicanThreads8 жыл бұрын

    Who else wants to erase that red mark on the screen behind her?

  • @akuajwad

    @akuajwad

    8 жыл бұрын

    perfectionist would love to

  • @NaaaaProductions

    @NaaaaProductions

    7 жыл бұрын

    LOL, too much stimulation when trying to listen. hehe

  • @tinthamster
    @tinthamster10 жыл бұрын

    I'm in love with Susan Cain 3

  • @Victor-it6bv
    @Victor-it6bv2 жыл бұрын

    Introverts know more about why extrovert act like extrovert then extroverts do.

  • @BRM101
    @BRM1014 жыл бұрын

    The world would be a much better place if it was more introverted instead of the extroverted mess we have now

  • @cryptoguy4589
    @cryptoguy45893 жыл бұрын

    25.20 I have that head shaking when I'm thinking of 100 things and conversing on a subject.

  • @kishorekumar-eo4hf
    @kishorekumar-eo4hf6 жыл бұрын

    Hi it was a nice lecture which has opened my mind because I am like sort of introvert person I really phasing lots of difficulties I couldn’t push myself so fast to solve my problems because I’ve been born and raised in a village where I had very less chance to showcase my ideas. And something inhibiting me to go and mingle with the strangers please give me an idea or just me if possible to bring out my power and my thoughts thank you 🙏 I am from india

  • @lewisbonnell2509
    @lewisbonnell250911 жыл бұрын

    I am an introvert and looking to get Susan's book to learn more about this trait

  • @jeffrly1
    @jeffrly111 жыл бұрын

    Lisa Kudrow - Phoebe Buffay - Friends

  • @SnapcrackerzTeam
    @SnapcrackerzTeam12 жыл бұрын

    she rocks

  • @DrequimaX
    @DrequimaX7 жыл бұрын

    I am depelted..... I need to go home.

  • @vademarofxeroes8416
    @vademarofxeroes84167 жыл бұрын

    Wished I have a friend at highschool like her.

  • @chococandy8009
    @chococandy80094 жыл бұрын

    Yes Susan ma'am is right that we should accept our powers but on the other side we also know that change is important for our life. So what if we apply this change concept here in introvertness and extrovertness. Feel free to give your reviews :)

  • @BelgianGurista
    @BelgianGurista10 жыл бұрын

    Another example of leadership by introverts is Herman Van Rompuy - who?! The European President at this time. He words it as: "Everyone has different facettes of personality. I don't know if I know myself completely. The I remains the biggest mystery. We look at ourselves as it's a stranger (Q Rimbaud & Nietzsche)"

  • @sohamdixit_
    @sohamdixit_11 жыл бұрын

    I'm an Introvert and oddly enough, my dream is to work at The Googleplex!

  • @micjakes1
    @micjakes15 жыл бұрын

    Oh I fucking hate breaking up into groups.

  • @jaientenduunevoix726
    @jaientenduunevoix7268 жыл бұрын

    21:40 preach!

  • @rdelrosso2001
    @rdelrosso200111 жыл бұрын

    Johnny Carson was famous for having a TV show that reached millions of people, but in front of a few people, he was very shy and introverted.

  • @SudipKrMaiti_IITGuwahati
    @SudipKrMaiti_IITGuwahati3 жыл бұрын

    Introverts r so attractive! Just look at Susan Cain;♥️

  • @natalierobbins4064
    @natalierobbins40644 жыл бұрын

    So what happened in the brain of a person who prefer an environment that have lower stimulant and higher stimulant aka what happened in an ambivert's brain?

  • @peterlux4317
    @peterlux43176 жыл бұрын

    A list of the studies that she refers to would be useful

  • @liyana2810
    @liyana28106 ай бұрын

    There must be many different level/spectrum of introversion too. That's why some introverts are shy, some are not. Oh, temperament and MBTI.

  • @WhirledPublishing
    @WhirledPublishing2 жыл бұрын

    @3 minutes: I felt so excited about my private, personal and profound experience from childhood that illustrates who I really am that I was going to post it here - but since it's not really what this is about, I'll withhold that.

  • @user-uk5jw7oy2g
    @user-uk5jw7oy2g12 жыл бұрын

    Her voice, gestures, and movements are like Lisa Kudrow.

  • @commentsection1234
    @commentsection12342 жыл бұрын

    At 10:00 I can se introverts blushing 😆

  • @tachi203
    @tachi20312 жыл бұрын

    hahahaah After 43:00 minutes the final question...that all the introverts are still wanting to know...cannot be answered......"How to shut the extrovert's up and let the introvert with the brains speak", without the the extrovert feeling it is a complete attack on thier inner being, thus the introvert cannot be bothered. :)

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