Putin's Draft Is Going As Badly As His War | NASA Knows How To Celebrate!
Russians are fleeing the country in huge numbers after Vladimir Putin announced he would send fighting-age men to the front lines in Ukraine. Here at The Late Show, Stephen found out that the happy nerds at NASA celebrate a win in much the same way that our writers celebrate a successful joke. #Colbert #Comedy #Monologue
Subscribe To "The Late Show" Channel: bit.ly/ColbertY...
Watch full episodes of "The Late Show": bit.ly/1Puei40
Listen to "The Late Show Pod Show" podcast: link.chtbl.com...
Like "The Late Show" on Facebook: on. 1df139Y
Follow "The Late Show" on Twitter: bit.ly/1dMzZzG
Follow "The Late Show" on Instagram: bit.ly/29wfREj
Watch The Late Show with Stephen Colbert weeknights at 11:35 PM ET/10:35 PM CT. Only on CBS.
---
The Late Show with Stephen Colbert is the premier late night talk show on CBS, airing at 11:35pm EST, streaming online via Paramount+, and delivered to the International Space Station on a USB drive taped to a weather balloon. Every night, viewers can expect: Comedy, humor, funny moments, witty interviews, celebrities, famous people, movie stars, bits, humorous celebrities doing bits, funny celebs, big group photos of every star from Hollywood, even the reclusive ones, plus also jokes.
Пікірлер: 3 200
I know someone who fled Russia to Georgia in February, when the invasion began. It was an act of protest against the war starting, but now I feel like he dodged a bullet.....literally.
@firequeen2194
Жыл бұрын
Best wishes to your friend
@MyroslavaRm
Жыл бұрын
guess what, an act of protest against the war is...protest. not leaving the country and ignoring what's happening
@libbyworkman3459
Жыл бұрын
@@MyroslavaRm Vladimir Putin is a dictator with Secret Service agents killing dissenters against his regime. To protest publicly is to put a target on your back in a country like that.
@TentinQuarantino_
Жыл бұрын
@@MyroslavaRm does it make you feel like a big man to troll everyone in the KZread comments section?
@kuronekochan3
Жыл бұрын
@@TentinQuarantino_ I'm from Georgia and nobody wants russians coming here. They had 20+ years to do something about putin, as he devastated Chechnya, Ukraine and Georgia in wars, but they lived comfortably under his rule, until sanctions hit. They're not refugees, they just want to live a comfy life, while the guy they voted in kills innocent people.
Former army combat medic here.. ALL our aid bags were packed w tampons for the EXACT SAME reason
@darrengeorge8990
Жыл бұрын
I'm pretty sure that's what they ere originally invented for.
@marshallptrs
Жыл бұрын
Navy Corpsman co-signs this comment.
@baume184
Жыл бұрын
Creative problem solving 👍
@crovax1375
Жыл бұрын
I think that the point is that the Russian soldiers are being told to bring their own for field dressing
@richard1472
Жыл бұрын
And don't forget the super glue.
My mom’s a RN and First Aid instructor. The person who certified her as an instructor was a former medic for the Canadian Army who is now a hunter. He told her he puts a box of tampons in his hunting first aid kit, because while odd, they’d be very effective (as a makeshift tool) for bullet wounds. They’re easy to use and expand as they absorb blood, closing the hole and slowing/stopping immediate blood loss.
@juliaburns303
Жыл бұрын
The product that became the tampons was first made for bleeding wounded soldiers during wartime. Someone came up with the idea that it would work for women during their periods.
@kellharris2491
Жыл бұрын
Which is ironic considering how many men get squeamish buying tampons and pads. I mean they are just basically cloth and adhesive.
@bigbcor
Жыл бұрын
Why would you post such disproven and mythical advice on here? Oh wait its KZread…you do realize that tampons have been proven time and time again to not be a good go to for GSW due to cavitation by bullets. When we were deployed we were strictly forbidden to even consider using such a dumb idea. ESP since quick clot has been around for decades now. The newer version of quick clot doesn’t even require much surgery to remove it when the person reaches the OR. At the end of the day though applied pressure wins out over almost all other options…
@johnmunro4952
Жыл бұрын
I think super glue was developed during Vietnam for sealing wounds.
@kwharrison6668
Жыл бұрын
@@johnmunro4952 that’s for small wounds though, not bullet wounds. It’s especially useful for straight-line cuts.
I live by where Fetterman and Braddock. He was a pillar in the community. Still resonates everywhere. He is a no nonsense guy that just wants better. He also worked really hard in the community. I would rather have someone that has been around the block, fixed the block, and made that block better than a hack Dr. that's not grounded by reality. How the hell can Dr. Oz even help Pa. if he never did anything here?
@patrickirishcharm6354
Жыл бұрын
Fetterman ✔️
@zachnasr9911
Жыл бұрын
Dr. Oz also lives in New Jersey! He's just coasting on his sparse fame and Trump's coattails. His whole campaign is a joke with no punchline 😆
@ChristophBrinkmann
Жыл бұрын
But but but but but Oz is Christian Republican!!! That's important, somehow! And you know why? REASONS!!!!!
@naturaliscontentus5914
Жыл бұрын
@@zachnasr9911 Sorry, if you actually listen to Dr. OZ he makes a lot more sense and seems a lot less corrupt. Do your research. Fetterman is going to get trounced in debate. "Dr. Oz: Fetterman is dodging debates to hide his radical record"
@Dontleavemedimi
Жыл бұрын
Betterment for president
Russian draftees: I don't need ammunition, I need a ride
@8arrows
Жыл бұрын
Good one
@cindypomerleau950
Жыл бұрын
Great one !!!
@batalorian7997
Жыл бұрын
I think they need tampons
@groove-heroine
Жыл бұрын
Full circle.
@johnsmithe4656
Жыл бұрын
@@batalorian7997 Imagine how upset all the women will be when they realize there aren't any more tampons in the whole country.
Hunkering down on a little island in Florida now. Gonna be an interesting few days. But hey, if things go terribly wrong, maybe that last *president* aka Chester Cheater, will come throw some paper towels at us
@maiben210
Жыл бұрын
wishing you and yours saftey light and love💛
@sshaw4429
Жыл бұрын
Chester cheater…..lolololo😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
@geekdivaherself
Жыл бұрын
I wish you and yours well!
@connorgunning6228
Жыл бұрын
I audibly snorted air out of my nose laughing at that.. im so sorry and I will be thinking about everyone down there to be ok and come out of it safely.
@anthonytrevino3191
Жыл бұрын
Cheeseburger paradise
Stephen really nailed it tonight. He got everybody dead on and it was hilarious doing it. My hat is off to him.
Love how Oz was booed more than the guy threaten nuclear war.
" Put your hand on Potato " I had to pause the video and LMAO.
@threetreasures7698
Жыл бұрын
Me too! 😂
@Beginstheman
Жыл бұрын
Of course! It's because whatever they swear on in Russia... is 🥔.😂😂
@shirleyrombough8173
Жыл бұрын
I knew tbers was a potato joke in there somewhere. Thanks for writing about it.
@zesty9815
Жыл бұрын
5:16 _"Put right hand on potato and repeat after me..."_ OK, or left hand.
@edmundooliver7584
Жыл бұрын
@peter g no, russians get drunk on vodka, irish eat potatoes and eat lucky charms
I used to be an EMT in the US. We totally carried tampons. They're like the duct tape of emergency medicine. (Also, duct tape).
@cindypomerleau950
Жыл бұрын
Lol. Great analogy.
@ElCapAddict
Жыл бұрын
Please do not treat GSWs with tampons, this is an antiquated and rather ineffective medical intervention. Instead, visualize the wound by removing the blood (preferably not disrupting any clots in the process), locate the source of bleeding and apply a bound/folded piece of gauze (preferably rolled so you can pack the wound with the tail end) directly to the source of bleeding with substantial pressure and do not release, regardless of how uncomfortable it might be to stop the bleeding. You cannot apply sufficient force to stop any serious venous or arterial bleeding with a tampon. You might have some luck with epistaxis and tampons, but this is bad advice and patients will die treating a GSW this way. A tampon is designed to absorb blood, maybe an ounce of blood at most... Training plus tourniquets, rolled gauze, chest seals, pressure, and rapid transport to definitive care are what you need - not effing tampons. Rolled gauze is likely the single most versatile and effective kit for this and other injuries one could carry, and one can quickly fashion a tourniquet with a windlass stick. Tourniquets are ineffective without a windlass - you will not generate sufficient force without a windlass to effectively occlude or slow arterial blood flow. Or use a t-shirt in a pinch. Source EMT-Paramedic school.
@shirleyrombough8173
Жыл бұрын
Or potato.
@ElCapAddict
Жыл бұрын
@@shirleyrombough8173 🤣 Maybe Tide Pods are plentiful from all their washing machine thefts - they could stuff their GSWs with those.
@ElCapAddict
Жыл бұрын
Navy Corpsman are already explaining why tampons are a not sound interventions for GSWs: kzread.infoCdGNIup0xEQ?feature=share
Colbert’s writers and his delivery impeccable ….as usual…😂😂 any time i’m feeling down I just watch this show …❤never fails to make me laugh
@timothy4557
Жыл бұрын
Did they find Jackie ?
In regards to the tampons for bullet wounds, that’s actually what they were originally for. They started being used as sanitary products when the war nurses in WWI or II (I forget which) had to deal with their periods with limited resources, and they went “hey, you know what’s kinda similar in shape to a bullet wound?” and that’s roughly how tampons became the bane of men.
@mariag.8242
Жыл бұрын
Not so much shape as staunching a lot of blood.
@masterroshen841
Жыл бұрын
True about the tampons and as an infantry vet I can tell you that our medic did keep some on hand for if we got shot.
@eriksigalraven8340
Жыл бұрын
How about using convicted pedophiles and cannibals as draftees? And giving them amnesty? Thats what russian government does - thats what westerners not mention
"War is rich old men trying to get richer by sending middle class and lower class young men off to die."
@neonfroot
Жыл бұрын
That's why I have no respect for older men whom are upper class, married, conservative and religious. They're the biggest hedonists, fucking and patronizing young people and ethnic minorities.
@atlasfeynman1039
Жыл бұрын
Actually, commie, the saying is: "War is old men talking and young men dying."
@neonfroot
Жыл бұрын
@@atlasfeynman1039 Gist is more or less that same. Also, criticism of upper class is also a liberal thing. And I mean liberal as in the default classical definition of the word, not the Cold War propaganda meaning.
@demoskunk
Жыл бұрын
And the president who didn't start any new wars, but started withdrawing our troops from other countries was? Gasp....Trump!
@neonfroot
Жыл бұрын
@@demoskunk Trump didn't withdraw troops. Biden withdrew troops. Granted Trump didn't start new wars, but he did bomb Syria.
During this hurricane, please shelter somewhere safe. Barring that, PLEASE, PLEASE shelter at Mar-a-Lago. I hear they have an omelet bar near the top-secret document storage desk.
@jpenneymrcoin6851
Жыл бұрын
OH YES! I didn't even think of that!
@kiriakiria9685
Жыл бұрын
🧐🤔👏🏾👏🏽👏😂
For roughly 10 minutes every day this guy takes away my anxiety and depression
@norwaydude4798
Жыл бұрын
You need serious help then
@2332Stephen
Жыл бұрын
@@norwaydude4798 yeah probably, not alone
@leoniemoats7467
Жыл бұрын
Same. Its the only way to stay informed without going absolutely crazy
@Tyanus2
Жыл бұрын
@@leoniemoats7467 You get info from comedians who use cheap lines for laughs 😃
@Jb22372
Жыл бұрын
@@leoniemoats7467 he isn’t informing you on shit, he’s told what to say. We are so gullible. Study the history behind this conflicts
Busted out laughing at "Put rite hand on potatoe & repeat after me" thank you Stephen!
@ProctorsGamble
Жыл бұрын
😮 You made a Dan Quayle potato mistake!
I was born in Ukraine. Part Ukrainian part Russian. Thanks Stephen for talking about this. At least something can sound funny about this situation. Luckily I don't live there for 30 years already, but still feel the pain of the Ukrainians and feel some weird sort of responsibility for the actions of the Russians.
@nurlindafsihotang49
Жыл бұрын
Well, you got 2 best gene of 1000 years of sacrifice in you. I believe ukraine will won and russian are not one to bullied by a grup of beligerent old men. I hope russian make example out of putin, tsar family style. Only Russian could take down a russian.
@samuela-aegisdottir
Жыл бұрын
Peace for Ukraine, Freedom for Russia.
@cyberneticbutterfly8506
Жыл бұрын
I feel the same weird sense of responsibility and I'm not even Russian. I guess it's due to the fact that I sort of know I could have been politically active (and uncorrupt) and involved the last 20 years but didn't bother to so I feel like I have a small little part in the world being the way it is today.
@oleggold
Жыл бұрын
@@cyberneticbutterfly8506 You took it even further haha. I am very active politically I think, but there's nothing anyone could have actually done to stop this, except the people Russia.
@elizabethm888
Жыл бұрын
Just so you know my kids and I pray Ukraine every night, ( Now we also pray that as many Russians who do not want to take part in the war can get out with their families safely.
I cannot imagine the horror those Ukrainian people are going through.
@Kal-EL_Volta
Жыл бұрын
Not as bad as the russian people.
@cindypomerleau950
Жыл бұрын
Slava Ukraine 🇺🇦💙💛💜
@Shervin86
Жыл бұрын
Nor the Iranian people which seems to get minimal coverage if any... #Mahsaamini
@peachesandpoets
Жыл бұрын
@@Kal-EL_Volta um probably more? The Ukrainians are victims...
@chriscruse8131
Жыл бұрын
Who cares when we have places like Flint, Mi that's been needing water a lot longer than Ukraine has been at war. Russia could blow Ukraine off the map for all I care.
Stephen you are killing me i'm 87 year old every time you let me lol so hard God be with and bless you always
IT WAS WONDERFUL SEEING ALL THE WOMEN WORKING AT NASA.....YOU GO LADIES!
I love how Federman ALWAYS has an excellent comeback to BURN 🔥 Oz. Brilliant. Be safe in Florida everyone.
@danmcgriff1421
Жыл бұрын
Tell me something Nancy if you were a republican would you vote for fetterman and his policies
@alexd9550
Жыл бұрын
@@danmcgriff1421 Tell me something Dan, if you weren't conservative, would you support the current dumpster fire that is the current GOP?
@ginmar8134
Жыл бұрын
@@danmcgriff1421 Suuuuure, Trumpie.
I ❤️ and will always ❤️ these monologues. In 2 months, I hope things change for the better for 🌎 and for now I hope everyone in Florida is able to stay as safe as possible.
The walking encyclopedia for Lord of the Rings said "look at those happy nerds" hahahaha love it
GO FETTERMAN! I remember when he was doing boots-on-the-ground work in the Pgh suburbs. It is so awesome to see him pursue higher offices in the same spirit.
The fact that we got live (minus time delays for signal distance) shots of the impact impressed the heck out of me.
@Shuizid
Жыл бұрын
I mean, the camery couldn't exactly send the film later ^^°
@baebealien
Жыл бұрын
I always wonder how they film things... kinda sus🤨
Army vet here, the tampon bit is something we teach US soldiers too. All our medics carried them, and we were encouraged to have some on hand as a "self rescue" measure. I know it sounds funny, but it's not. It can stop you or your Battle Buddy from bleeding out. I kinda hope you'll retract this bit. Otherwise, love the show Steven!
@ElCapAddict
Жыл бұрын
Please do not treat GSWs with tampons, this is an antiquated and rather ineffective medical intervention. Instead, visualize the wound by removing the blood (preferably not disrupting any clots in the process), locate the source of bleeding and apply a bound/folded piece of gauze (preferably rolled so you can pack the wound with the tail end) directly to the source of bleeding with substantial pressure and do not release, regardless of how uncomfortable it might be to stop the bleeding. You cannot apply sufficient force to stop any serious venous or arterial bleeding with a tampon. You might have some luck with epistaxis and tampons, but this is bad advice and patients will die treating a GSW this way. A tampon is designed to absorb blood, maybe an ounce of blood at most... Training plus tourniquets, rolled gauze, chest seals, pressure, and rapid transport to definitive care are what you need - not effing tampons. Rolled gauze is likely the single most versatile and effective kit for this and other injuries one could carry, and one can quickly fashion a tourniquet with a windlass stick. Tourniquets are ineffective without a windlass - you will not generate sufficient force without a windlass to effectively occlude or slow arterial blood flow. Or use a t-shirt in a pinch. Source EMT-Paramedic school.
@wiggywig1105
Жыл бұрын
@@ElCapAddict pretty obvious you've never been on a battle field. Thanks for the "educated" advice. If I get shot with an EMT handy and they use a tampon, I'll be pissed I guess.
@ElCapAddict
Жыл бұрын
@@wiggywig1105 Navy Corpsman are already explaining why tampons are not a sound intervention for GSWs: kzread.infoCdGNIup0xEQ?feature=share
@michaelgreenwood3413
Жыл бұрын
@@wiggywig1105 think that other guy doesn't realize that when you're on a battlefield, you make do with what you have. sure, there's BETTER stuff, but it's usually harder to come by. And it'll work until you can get your ass medevaced to a proper infirmary or checked out by a Medic.
@ElCapAddict
Жыл бұрын
@@michaelgreenwood3413 Rolled gauze, useful for GSWs and many other injuries as well or a t-shirt, would be harder to come by than tampons? Tampons, which are being brought for a single purpose - a purpose that they’re so minimally effective for at treating high velocity GSWs it would be laughable if it were not so serious...
For some reason those clips of NASA engineers cheering when something lands always make me cry…
Haven’t watched Colbert in a while - he’s killin it.
First time humanity attempted to move another celestial body. Those nerds just ushered in a new age for our species. Thank you nerds.
Seriously, the bullseye of that asteroid is incredible. Most people are impressed with golf or basketball or archery. Anyone impressed with accuracy, thats untouchable God tier accuracy, and precision
@oomiosi
Жыл бұрын
360 no scope, over the horizon, hair on a pimple shot.
@malteschaper3782
Жыл бұрын
...and other than those trick-shot videos it couldn't take a quadrillion tries to get it.
@AsFewFalseThingsAsPossible
Жыл бұрын
Physics and Maths, and human ingenuity, what a fantastic achievement.
@robertcampomizzi7988
Жыл бұрын
Love the comparison! My dad was an engineer and he said if people had any idea what their job was they'd be paid like sports figures.(or at least more than they are currently paid)
@justincremeans2244
Жыл бұрын
I am a relatively skilled archer and trying to describe to my fiancée with the comparison of being off by a fraction of an inch just wasn't good enough. I had to say that it would be like a shot from here to some distant moon of Venus where I had to take into account the spinning of earth, gravity of other planets, speed of a moving target and plan my shot accordingly and I'm sure there was more to it I don't understand.
Difficult to even joke and or laugh at this point...THANK GOD FOR COLBERT!!! WOOOOO!!!!......WOOOOOO!!!!!
@tomnalley3644
Жыл бұрын
Colbert is a Hollywood commiefornia commiecrat.
Fun fact about pads and tampons at war: They are dead serious and these should be in any serious first aid kit. Also, was a common part of a person first kit of American soliders during the Vietnam War. Wasn't suppied by the military - was supplied by writing home.
With all the terrible things going on in this world, the various wars, natural disasters, destruction of democracies, the dont worry darling press tour, and the big mac Watching genuine joy from a truly impressive human achivement is just refreshing
@RaeCarson
Жыл бұрын
Especially when said human achievement ultimately benefits the entirety of planet Earth, not merely humans. Massive meotoric impact is no joke.....look at the dinosaurs.
@eriksigalraven8340
Жыл бұрын
Dont you know russian government drafting convicted rapists and maniacs?
So... an election between a local guy who wears hoodies, and an out of towner guy who bitches about the prices of crudite? Hmm... I wonder who's going to get the Flyers fans' votes?
"I, state your name, solemnly swear to immediately go to be exploded in Ukraine." 😂 its not funny, but that made me laugh.
@Swan-rb4yg
Жыл бұрын
I don't imagine it's laughable if you're living it -- or dying it.
The “sharpened tampon” got me 😂
Thank you for being here for all these years!
@leyrua
Жыл бұрын
He's one of the few people that have made all of the bad news bearable.
@TobiasMeinecke
Жыл бұрын
I really took to his show during the lockdowns.
Yeah, that tampon hack... That's a real thing. They didn't mention the important part. Get to a surgeon fast. It slows the bleeding but it's a time bomb for septis, so you traded hemhorragic shock for septic shock. You bought time, that's all. But the clock is ticking.
@ElCapAddict
Жыл бұрын
Please do not treat GSWs with tampons, this is an antiquated and rather ineffective medical intervention. Instead, visualize the wound by removing the blood (preferably not disrupting any clots in the process), locate the source of bleeding and apply a bound/folded piece of gauze (preferably rolled so you can pack the wound with the tail end) directly to the source of bleeding with substantial pressure and do not release, regardless of how uncomfortable it might be to stop the bleeding. You cannot apply sufficient force to stop any serious venous or arterial bleeding with a tampon. You might have some luck with epistaxis and tampons, but this is bad advice and patients will die treating a GSW this way. A tampon is designed to absorb blood, maybe an ounce of blood at most... Training plus tourniquets, rolled gauze, chest seals, pressure, and rapid transport to definitive care are what you need - not effing tampons. Rolled gauze is likely the single most versatile and effective kit for this and other injuries one could carry, and one can quickly fashion a tourniquet with a windlass stick. Tourniquets are ineffective without a windlass - you will not generate sufficient force without a windlass to effectively occlude or slow arterial blood flow. Or use a t-shirt in a pinch. Source EMT-Paramedic school.
@WaywardVet
Жыл бұрын
@@ElCapAddict It is dumb. Like I said, it's a hack that buys time. We're talking last resort.
@ElCapAddict
Жыл бұрын
@@WaywardVet Sorry, not specifically directed at you then. I’ve been spamming my response to every half-wit post thinking this is legitimate, current, or even best medical practice (in the field or not).
@NuiYabuko
Жыл бұрын
@@ElCapAddict Spamming is the right word here.
@colleenclement474
Жыл бұрын
Throw some lemon juice on it so it doesn't go brown. 😋
I'm watching this on my sailboat in Tampa Bay day after the storm. I'm happy I'll be around to see the hearings. Capt.Bob, SV ( Sailing Vessel) 27th Chance, Tampa Fl, USA 🇺🇸
Dang, as a Floridian I was planning on watching the 1/6 committee's show to get my mind off the storm 🍷🍻 After 50 years of learning how and what to do during these things a little entertainment would have been nice. Currently into a Stephen King book 1,078 pgs. Last storm I read IT. The door stoppers (literally 😂) always help!
Russia might be the first country ever to have people flee because their country invaded other, not because others invade theirs.
@cindypomerleau950
Жыл бұрын
Exactly what I was thinking. Vietnam didn't even create this amount of departures. A lot of Jehovah witnesses, I guess.
@TheDarkness1
Жыл бұрын
Is mass potato exodus.
@doughannan6935
Жыл бұрын
Umm, Americans who fled to Canada during the Vietnam war?
@teresastillabower8361
Жыл бұрын
@@doughannan6935 no were near the same thing.
@alfredkaufmann8865
Жыл бұрын
Not the first. The U.S. invaded Vietnam and of lots of American draft dodgers fled to Canada.
Seeing the NASA folks celebrate, I was like 'Yay! We hit a thing with another thing!'
@Ginric99
Жыл бұрын
Shouldn’t that have been a space force job :)
@caru3257
Жыл бұрын
@@Ginric99 you are funny.
@Ginric99
Жыл бұрын
@@caru3257 well what else is it set up for if not to protect the world from Meteorites :)
@masternoob9673
Жыл бұрын
“And won’t know if we actually did something until we look outside one morning and see a mushroom cloud on the horizon.”
@craigmacdougal9111
Жыл бұрын
If a 10 year old kid smashes something into another thing to see what happens... it's a kid being a kid. If the same 10 year old kid WRITES DOWN what happened.. It's SCIENCE.
Super excited for the NASA nerds! My ex father in law was a NASA nerd, and designed a part for one of the Apollo missions.
The tampon thing has been known wisdom for a while. Both when I was an army medic and a civilian EMT, we always had tampons on hand for that.
So why do we need space force? Go NASA! 👍
@steveaustin2686
Жыл бұрын
The US Space Force (USSF) has assets in Earth orbit, looking inward, for early warning of attacks here on Earth and for gathering intelligence. NASA does the deep space stuff. The US Air Force (USAF) used to do the stuff the USSF does, but Trump wanted to go down in the history books. It makes for more admin costs now, but if space access keeps, it would make sense for a separate USSF in the future. They won't focus outward until people out there on a semi-permanent basis.
Comedy creativity and social commentary at it’s finest! Stephen, you rock!
@jpenneymrcoin6851
Жыл бұрын
he does rock. it's comedy at its finest.
@jamiecanney6973
Жыл бұрын
loved em on the Colbert report on the daily show he was brill
The name tampon comes from the French tamponade, which is applying pressure. It's taught in first aid training, and ambulances carry a type of tampon for use in bullet wounds or large stab wounds. You don't want the scented kind.
Fantastic! Go Fetterman! Thank you for your service for PA so far
Is that why Marjorie Taylor Greene complains about tampons in the men's bathroom? Did she actually see it the russki malls?
Maybe sacrificing a Florida governor to the hurricane gods will appease them and calm the storm. I'm an agnostic but it's worth a shot.
@steveaustin2686
Жыл бұрын
LOL
@kiriakiria9685
Жыл бұрын
🧐🤔👏🏾👏🏽👏😂
That poor man in the writer's room bit had his hand up for a high-five and was left hanging. That is a unique pain and deserves a moment of silence.
I love how he still hands his imaginary props off camera to his assistant
@TobiasMeinecke
Жыл бұрын
Except Jon Batiste always had a little music cue, a pling etc with it. I miss these from the new Bandleader.
*The NASA guys shoulda all sang "WE WILL, WE WILL ROCK YOU!", together.*
@666t
Жыл бұрын
Flash Ah Ah saviour of the Universe
@JachAnen
Жыл бұрын
Or Space Jam
@Raixor
Жыл бұрын
@@JachAnen *The Space Jam Theme Song by Quad City DJ's? Nah, that's nowhere near as recognizable as "We Will Rock You" by Queen. Or as chant-able. haha*
@citypavement
Жыл бұрын
@@Raixor You can just say the Space Jam theme song. No one is impressed.
@GreenWitch420
Жыл бұрын
Stomp stomp clap!
Why don't they just change the wind direction and make the storm go away.? I hear it can be done with just a sharpie™ and a map.
@jpenneymrcoin6851
Жыл бұрын
or just by pretending
@kkrolf2782
Жыл бұрын
Or … just THINKING it. You know, you can do that kind of thing when you’re president.
😂😂 ❤ the Venezuelan joke! I’m in FL., it’s kind of hard to get out of its path unless you fly far north and west.
"IS POTATO", is my new fave expression at home. Husband hates Stephen so he has no idea what I am talking about! I find it hysterical:))))
Tampons to plug gunshot wounds is actually their original intended purpose. WWI nurses stared using them in the more popular modern fashion and that’s basically the whole story. So yeah, you can thank WWI for tampons.
@rainbowprism6242
Жыл бұрын
Was not WWI was when they used boiling tar to stop bleeding?
@GusCraft460
Жыл бұрын
@@rainbowprism6242 I’ve never heard of that. There were also different methods used by different countries in the war.
@stoodmuffinpersonal3144
Жыл бұрын
Oh shit, no way?
@rainbowprism6242
Жыл бұрын
@@GusCraft460 I seem to remember that before certain warfare there was some medical myth that applying boiling tar before bandages would stop bleeding better. It was disproved by a medic who ran out of tar and had field confirmation that not applying scalding toxic mass would let wounds heal better. Not sure during which war it was happening.
@fionaanderson5796
Жыл бұрын
It's still taught as first aid for certain injuries in bush survival and camping. Likewise sanitary pads for larger wounds.
Fetterman reminds me of Zelenskyy who shows up to important political meetings in a t-shirt and jeans. It doesn't matter how you're dressed if you get the job done.
@demoskunk
Жыл бұрын
It doesn't matter how you Tweet, if you get the job done.
@lenawagenfuehr53
Жыл бұрын
It doesn't matter if you run on an anti-corruption platform, as long as you buy up enough real estate abroad (and keep those off shore coffers full)
@HMFan2010
Жыл бұрын
@@demoskunk Well, 45 can't Tweet anymore; his “Truths” are lies; and he didn't get much done other than completely jack up the nation, ruin our global reputation (though we’ve been doing that for years), and lining his own pockets with the cash of the blindly and ignorantly loyal.
@Swan-rb4yg
Жыл бұрын
Well, but Zelensky wears normal shirts and jeans. Fetterman must search long and hard to find clothes as ugly, hideously ugly as he wears.
@demoskunk
Жыл бұрын
@@Swan-rb4yg Yes, that would expend a lot of energy, lol. Einstein wore the same suit everyday because he didn't want to waste brain-power thinking about what to wear.
Forgetting for a second its a tampon we're talking about - What's worse, being immediately told which supplies you need to aid if shot, or the fact that they have to buy these supplies THEMSELVES before being sent out
"Why can't we all get along?" statement from criminal but so true. Give peace a chance!
To honestly think that once Florida gets pounded by this hurricane Biden is still going to be willing to help Florida because he cares about America but Deathsantis will try to make it seem like it's a bad thing I hope he loses in November vote for Charlie Crist.
@stanbyme7874
Жыл бұрын
For the PEOPLE, by the PEOPLE (said no MAGAhat)
@ritacuartas6695
Жыл бұрын
That is not true! DeathSantis would not make it seem as if it's a bad thing! He would just take credit for it himself!
@cindypomerleau950
Жыл бұрын
DeSatan is even more deranged and cruel than TFG. Come on Florida. Vote blue, not Q.
@TheDarkness1
Жыл бұрын
He'll rename it hurricane Ron and proclaim it's bringing water to thirsty Floridans. Hot wind DeSantis strikes again.
@alansheiman4818
Жыл бұрын
@@ritacuartas6695 I thought his name was DeSatin.
No need to fly anybody anywhere. Just call in number 45 and give him a sharpie, 😄
The TAMPON joke got me in Stitches!!!! LOL!!!
My cousin lives in Florida, so I wish her and all Floridians stay safe and well. Meanwhile, are you sure DeSantis is still there? Maybe he flew to Martha's Vineyard already.
@alex35agm
Жыл бұрын
He's possibly in Mexico drinking with Ted Cruz.
@shirleyrombough8173
Жыл бұрын
Unlike Zelenski who said he needed ammunition, not transportation.
So grateful to have made it this early to the monologue that makes the world go round. The proceedings can wait because the real hurricane comes for them after Wednesday
@shahnulislam9897
Жыл бұрын
Lucky for you i saved it on youtube
The conspiracy theories based those footages are going to be legendary
Instead of running, they should all join and take their country from him.
I grew up in a mill town next to Fetterman's home mill town. He's a great guy & will see recreational cannabis legalized in PA. 🥰 He'll be taking ratpubliklan Toomy's seat. 🥳 Oz doesn't stand a chance. 😂
OMG, that sarcastic joke about asking DeSantis for a plane ride is hilarious.
The most important thing right now is that the US and Russia don't go to war. Caring about Ukraine is important but it's not the most important thing.
It's even funnier, when your opponent gives you the best slogan for you don't even have to think about one
“Look at those happy nerds” Coming from the man who ranted about LOTR on his last monologue, idk if Stephen can judge lol.
@diggysoze2897
Жыл бұрын
Real recognize real
@jpenneymrcoin6851
Жыл бұрын
it kinda bugs me that he's on the anti-intellectual bandwagon, if only the very edge of it. i kind of wish he'd celebrate nerdity a little more.
@angelad3170
Жыл бұрын
@@jpenneymrcoin6851 Clearly you've never seen him playing D&D with Matt Mercer =D
I live in Alaska but I just donated to Fetterman’s campaign ✊🏽😂
I love Nasa and their excitement!!
Priceless: tell DeSantis you're Venezuelan. Maybe he'll give you a free plane ride to Martha's Vineyard. 😂😂😂😂
I'm going to start quoting, "God, I've been shot!" everytime I get a tampon out now, thanks. 😂
@a.kenneth3521
Жыл бұрын
My first LOL of the day. Thank you!
@shirleyrombough8173
Жыл бұрын
Funny!
@lenawagenfuehr53
Жыл бұрын
Never forget They found a letter from Prince Charles to Camilla (while they were both married to other people) where he said he wanted to be her tampon. Classy people, those Brits..
@KaraZiasapiens
Жыл бұрын
🤣🤣🤣
@citypavement
Жыл бұрын
That's going to get old real fast.
Without even trying, Fetterman is cooler than Dr Oz.
@demoskunk
Жыл бұрын
You mean Fetterwoman. How do you feel about the "working class candidate" living at home off his parent's money until he was 49?
@couragekarnga8735
Жыл бұрын
All he has to do is not have the friggin last name Oz!
@morebirdsandroses
Жыл бұрын
I call him Dr Ooze 😝
@lenawagenfuehr53
Жыл бұрын
@@couragekarnga8735 he doesn't. English doesn't respect other languages enough and leaves out the Umlaut
@maryanneslater9675
Жыл бұрын
And if he wears shorts and hoodies, it's probably also because those things come in his size. It's HARD finding good trousers or jeans in 36 inch or longer inseam. You can't buy suits off the rack, either. (Worst of all, casual suits these days are ugly spandex nonsense. Big guys look bad in them. Even Dwayne Johnson can't pull it off. When he was on the show, his suit looked like a python trying to digest a very large meal.)
When my son was a scout the Troop collected things to send to US soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan. We were given a list of what the soldiers had asked for. Among the items were tampons, because they were just the right size to plug a bullet wound. It's not just the Russian army that uses them for that purpose.
The NASA thing is beyond belief. The world's greatest trick shot, done by math geeks.
5:18 "Is Potato" 😆 never gets old
@citypavement
Жыл бұрын
I disagree.
@r.a.cabrales1677
Жыл бұрын
@@citypavement is potato
I found that last skit about the comedy writer's countdown incredibly creative. Let's check in two months whether it was also funny. 😆
6:34 the future of elections in Florida 😅
Stephen’s monologues are the best! Intelligent, funny! Prayers for Florida! Their Governor pulled political stunt regarding immigration. Now he needs the government to help his state! Karma!
Stephen never disappoints! Wonderful comedian and human being ❤!
@jacobmeis1249
Жыл бұрын
he is a freemasonic tool that hates women
@Serena.Hope.Eternal
Жыл бұрын
Hey Stephen, did your budget conk out at the couch level? Put some inspiring color on them walls and curtains dude! 🥰 😎 🎭 🧸🪅
@markkasprzyk3287
Жыл бұрын
Colbert comments were disgusting. Seriously? Ukraine people lost everything. Families lost everything. Children killed. and Colbert makes some stupid ass joke about Putin and his war not being productive? Seriously?
@orchoose
Жыл бұрын
Stupid normie audience doesnt know whan to clap. What a f clown Stephan became.
@Surge1077
Жыл бұрын
The Paramount Plus plug KILLED ME! 🤣🤣🤣🤣
#KickPutinintheBALLS
Not only will the tampons help a gunshot wound, they can go swimming, they can go horseback riding, they can play tennis. My wife never liked Colbert when he was on the daily show. I kept telling her he is a comedic genius and the funniest man on TV. Now she can't get enough of him. I have been married 48 years and this may be the first argument I have ever won. Nerds make the world go round. Imagine if that was the worlds military was used for?
@ElCapAddict
Жыл бұрын
Please do not treat GSWs with tampons, this is an antiquated and rather ineffective medical intervention. Instead, visualize the wound by removing the blood (preferably not disrupting any clots in the process), locate the source of bleeding and apply a bound/folded piece of gauze (preferably rolled so you can pack the wound with the tail end) directly to the source of bleeding with substantial pressure and do not release, regardless of how uncomfortable it might be to stop the bleeding. You cannot apply sufficient force to stop any serious venous or arterial bleeding with a tampon. You might have some luck with epistaxis and tampons, but this is bad advice and patients will die treating a GSW this way. A tampon is designed to absorb blood, maybe an ounce of blood at most... Training plus tourniquets, rolled gauze, chest seals, pressure, and rapid transport to definitive care are what you need - not effing tampons. Rolled gauze is likely the single most versatile and effective kit for this and other injuries one could carry, and one can quickly fashion a tourniquet with a windlass stick. Tourniquets are ineffective without a windlass - you will not generate sufficient force without a windlass to effectively occlude or slow arterial blood flow. Or use a t-shirt in a pinch. Source EMT-Paramedic school.
@j.dragon651
Жыл бұрын
@@ElCapAddict When on the battlefield by yourself bleeding out, you don't have much time or many choices. I have the feeling the military is more experienced in these matters than you or I.
As a Pittsburgher, Fetterman fits in way better than Oz ever will.
What is unfathomable to fully understand, majority of these people have had their families live there all their lives and never would imagine leaving their homes.
@lenawagenfuehr53
Жыл бұрын
Like any war...
@libbyworkman3459
Жыл бұрын
@S.O.S. There are three things that are very difficult to predict: the path of a hurricane, when a volcano will erupt, and earthquakes.
Russians are already giving the cold shoulder to Putin's draft.
DART is such an amazing accomplishment 👏 🙌. Should get a Guinness World record for longest shot projectile.
Fun fact about the tampon thing: they actually _were_ originally for plugging bullet wounds. Nurses started using them and that's how we know them now. Hell even my brother, who was an Army grunt, got a pack of them to take to the sandbox.
I escaped to Houston from Cape Coral on Sunday. RSW was packed and every single plane was 100% full! I really believe the vast majority of the population in Florida have done the right thing. Fingers crossed! Lynette
@s.anthonyulibarri2488
Жыл бұрын
Told my friend she should evacuate. They decided to hunker down.
@markwilliams2620
Жыл бұрын
Nobody escapes from Cape Coma.
@Serena.Hope.Eternal
Жыл бұрын
When I lived in Florida and a hurricane was coming I was terrified. I didn't have finances or any way to get to safety. Truly gut wrenching feeling to know there's no one there for you, nowhere to go and no way to get there. My thoughts and prayers are with the people facing the storm and those whom have already dealt with Hurricane Ian, the Puerto Ricans and other Islanders. 🧸🥺 💙 💛
@tthappyrock368
Жыл бұрын
Good that you left when you did. I've been watching the projected storm surge levels--unless the trajectory changes significantly, a lot of people aren't going to have much to return to. My heart goes out to everyone affected!
As someone eligible for the draft, but with no funds to leave the country, the prospect is extremely terrifying. And then add on top of that seeing comments by Westerners (or governments of some neighboring countries) "just overthrow the government bro", more demoralizing than I thought. Just have to hope that it won't touch me and I don't get called up. I can't even be confident about hiding because there's nowhere to hide if you don't know people
@jakewarner1993
Жыл бұрын
My heart goes out to you man. May you stay safe in all this.
@patrickmalone4443
Жыл бұрын
Good luck
@pacmanshooter247
Жыл бұрын
Sorry to hear that. Shitty situation for so many russians. A lot of westerns know that it's not that easy. I have the deepest respect for any russian who actually protests these days. I don't know if I would be so brave. I hope you can avoid the draft.
@heavenhelpus479
Жыл бұрын
This Westerner wishes you the best of luck!
@robertb6889
Жыл бұрын
We feel for you. Sorry your leaders are so absolutely horrible. Wish there were a better solution for it all for you.
Reporting from the future exactly two months from now: the joke was a success! 🤣
"Ivan In The Skysky." Brilliant!
4:31 is this real?!!!! Ok, it’s bad enough using tampons but then Putin won’t even buy the tampons for you
@ElCapAddict
Жыл бұрын
Please do not treat GSWs with tampons, this is an antiquated and rather ineffective medical intervention. Instead, visualize the wound by removing the blood (preferably not disrupting any clots in the process), locate the source of bleeding and apply a bound/folded piece of gauze (preferably rolled so you can pack the wound with the tail end) directly to the source of bleeding with substantial pressure and do not release, regardless of how uncomfortable it might be to stop the bleeding. You cannot apply sufficient force to stop any serious venous or arterial bleeding with a tampon. You might have some luck with epistaxis and tampons, but this is bad advice and patients will die treating a GSW this way. A tampon is designed to absorb blood, maybe an ounce of blood at most... Training plus tourniquets, rolled gauze, chest seals, pressure, and rapid transport to definitive care are what you need - not effing tampons. Rolled gauze is likely the single most versatile and effective kit for this and other injuries one could carry, and one can quickly fashion a tourniquet with a windlass stick. Tourniquets are ineffective without a windlass - you will not generate sufficient force without a windlass to effectively occlude or slow arterial blood flow. Or use a t-shirt in a pinch. Source EMT-Paramedic school.
@jpenneymrcoin6851
Жыл бұрын
the us military does this. see above. it's also literally how tampons were invented, only in reverse. blood absorption material from medical kits became tampons.
@haruruben
Жыл бұрын
@@jpenneymrcoin6851 the US military provided first aid supplies to its soldiers
@ElCapAddict
Жыл бұрын
Navy Corpsman are already explaining why tampons are not a sound intervention for GSWs: kzread.infoCdGNIup0xEQ?feature=share
I was hoping that, "Here is your weapon: is sharpened potato 🥔 "
@jpenneymrcoin6851
Жыл бұрын
i bet that was a discussion in the writer's room - sharpened tampon doesn't quite seem to fit, but potato would have been kind of jammed into that monologue at that point...
Given the spastic in charge of the US, I don’t don’t think they’re in any position to criticise other leaders 😂😂😂
"I'm bleeding; I need a tampon!"
Stephen’s monologues are always funny and entertaining, no exceptions.
@jjthek
Жыл бұрын
It is. I enjoy his show a lot.
@Sandi-ke9mi
Жыл бұрын
@@jjthek Ditto. 🙌🏻💙
@hankakah4180
Жыл бұрын
Jimmy Fallon and James Corden pales in comparison. I remember when I came on to this channel, there was 3.7 million subscribers, now up to 8.97 million and I can admit a lot of it was because Trump got into office. Always have fun when Stephen made fun of the Orangeman for the past 5 years.
@strikerbowls791
Жыл бұрын
Meh
@generalnawaki
Жыл бұрын
I prefer to Jay leno's old monologues.