Thank you for this! Had to dump my bf because he wasn't supportive of my anxiety and ptsd, and he would get angry at me when I needed extra reassurance. He was very easily offended and defensive. Knowing that there are couples who love and comfort each other throughout all of this is amazing. Gives me hope for my future

@ariannapflederer

4 жыл бұрын

Proud of you! I was in a toxic relationship in my high school years with a guy who sounded similar to your ex, he was actually emotionally abusive. It took me almost 7 years later to realize he was that he had added to my PTSD 😖 I am glad you were strong enough to walk away on your own! 💛

@san12011

4 жыл бұрын

Caitlin Montgomery this gives me hope too that someday I can find someone that will love me even with my cptsd 🙏🏾

@caitlinmontgomery917

3 жыл бұрын

@@ariannapflederer Thank you for sharing

@kkdream99

Жыл бұрын

@@caitlinmontgomery917 what about now?

Ryan is awesome!!! My husband doesn't "get it," when I'm going through an anxiety attacks. Way to go Ryan.

@chatonapierson7209

6 жыл бұрын

Myra Fox i suffer from PTSD anxiety

@misse7154

5 жыл бұрын

Mine too. Often times he takes it personally and gets angry at me. Really not good...

@mariissa-zf5ty

2 жыл бұрын

I would leave him

Ryan, you are my idol man. My wife and I have been together 7 years. I'm 37 and she is 32. Six married on July 28th. She has complex PTSD. I thought I was going crazy. I have accused her of many things. Worse of all a narcissist! 😔 I was a very ignorant person and almost lost it all. I always heard, "you just dont understand. You never will!" And I didn't. After surviving our biggest challenge yet, I started looking into CPTSD. And let me tell you, Ryan is a hero to this wife. Why? Because he understands. I suffer from anxiety and depression. And my wife is the same but add CPTSD to her bowl. I thought I was tough and could handle anything. Man was I wrong. After looking into the disorder, I realized that I was looking at things all wrong. Instead of fighting for her, I was fighting against her. In the name of love. Being married to someone with PTSD is not for the easily offended or a romantic person. It takes a lot of compassion, trust, patience, empathy, and just love for someone to be able to handle such a person. And I love my wife. And I am so glad that I watched your video here because it validates a lot of things. Not a lot of support groups for men with spouses who are surviving PTSD. Thank you for your help in my journey.

@WOLFanddBEAR

5 жыл бұрын

This is all just falling into place for me, i've been through the ringer & now it feels to me that it isnt anyones fault, its the sickness. I didnt do the vacuuming the other day & now its like the world is ending, I've been in this situation before many times, but now its making sense to me. I hope we can get through this together....

@loulouli9981

4 жыл бұрын

My partner has PTSD and has been pushing me away, it is really the vlosing point i want to be out, now i am reading this, its inspiringl, i will try harder and hope the Psychologist will help us. Thank you)!

Although it's a bit different... your relationship reminds me so much of mine and my husband. We met at 17 years old. Shortly before we met I started having health issues here and there where I was in the hospital on and off. He knew about this and after we started dating I soon got a lot worse. I was constantly in the hospital, in pain, or getting tests at the dr. He stood by me through it all. He was definitely not a normal 17 year old boy. He loved me unconditionally and it did not matter what my issues were or if we spent a lot of our time in hospitals or at home watching movies than going out with friends. We were so happy just to be together and I know I couldn't have gotten through it without him. He was my saving grace. Here we are 9 years later, 4 years of marriage and 2 kids. :)

Just got into a relationship with an amazing girl with PTSD recently. We're both young (16 & 18) so there's a lot of pressure, but I want to be there for her. Thank you for this video

Love this! I have PTSD and I can't wait to share this video with my fella. Significant others don't get enough credit for their strength when it comes to living with some else's mental illness :) Can you do a video on coping mechanisms?

@NikkiSchumacherOfficial

6 жыл бұрын

Beauty By Kelela Yes!!

I have PTSD, GAD, panic disorder and borderline personality disorder. My boyfriend is so, so understanding and reminds me so much of Ryan. Your relationship makes me smile. :)

This video is really helpful. My significant other has complex ptsd, and alot of things in this video are very relatable. You guys are awesome!

Thank you so much for shedding light on this!

you guys are so inspiring. amazing advice and sound like great parents :)

This is so helpful thank you for opening up. I took notes the whole time. 1. Patience 2. Empathy

@keishailiahiparker757

2 жыл бұрын

Should I still talk to this person with ptsd he’s in the army.

Watching your videos always makes me so happy! Thank you for sharing :)

This is such a nice video and gives me so much hope. Thank you ❤❤❤

Thats really awesome! I am in awe of how open you are and it helps so many! PTSD & BPD has literally distoryed my entire family. I'm not married (nor have a boyfriend) and can't have kids but my biological family has completely crumbled and all are now gone. All because of not understanding PTSD & BPD and the issues that come with them. Its sad that one can literally find themselves completely alone due to unintentional issues caused by mental issues. We have the internet but still all fail to understand anything. Now that they see me training a service dog (a previous pet that was already helping me) to be more independant, functional, and way less isolated and they are not understanding of that! I love that your mom really helped you find Levi and was so understanding (or how I took the blog you wrote) about PTSD and self injury etc. My family tells me that I should find the artiery and get suicide over with. They completely do not understand self injury or emotional deregulation (BPD) and angery anxiety fueled explosions and just all the issues I live with. I belong to a PTSD forum and most of the "supporters" (usually spouces) share frustration and the need to fix but have no idea how to. I just love that you throw this out there and talk about what others won't! Its very brave and needed. We need to remove this stigma on mental health and get this out in the open and learn to understand mental health and the issues it comes with! I asked my veteran father "if I was a veteran with PTSD, would you understand then why i have PTSD and would you understand my issues?" Yes! Ok, why can't people apply that to traumatized non-veterans as most with PTSD aren't veterans? Anyway, rant over. Thank you for being open. We all need to do this and pull the shade away from mental health and get it out there. So thank you for paving the way to doing that!

This is an awesome video.. for someone who has ptsd.. thank you

Love love love your videos on PTSD :) (which I already said yesterday BUT whatever :P). Glad you decided to post this today! you da best :) thank you for being so open! I love all your mental health videos and service dog videos, I find them incredibly informative and helpful, they are definitely some of my favorites that you've done and it's so brave that you do post these types of videos!

Thank you and your husband for making this video it will be so helpful ❤️❤️❤️❤️

So glad to see you guys managed to find ways to help one another and get where you are today 😊 there is such power in understanding our partners and to be able to move forward. Every being deserves love specially the ones that are suffering. Much love for you all ❤

You both are so cute together, Ryan is a wonderful husband and father. There is nothing wrong with having your kids have independent play. Mine do it as well on their own sometimes and when I say its time to do independent play. All parents need that time to themselves whether or not you have mental health issues or not. You are right we all need time to ourselves to regroup. Keep up the amazing work. Arianna, I admire you. You are doing an amazing job.

Pressure therapy helps tremendously! I notice that when my fiance is doing that "deep spooning therapy hug" like you described is amazing! And also I have a throw pillow that I have to sleep with every night. I notice that hugging the pillow into my chest & putting my face into it helps unbelievably well for me when I go to sleep or when I'm having significantly bad anxiety!!! Btw, I love you guys!! I happened to stumble upon your channel from your beautiful wedding video. I have to admit, I haven't been on your channel in a while but I do get your notifications & your kids are absolutely adorable! Wish you well in your life's journey! ❤

Our stories are so similar!!! This really helped my husband and I. Thank you!

This video is amazing. Thank you so much

Arianna, first time watching your video and your husband. You got a good man that accepted the situation and dared to adapt. That is hard and impressive so I wish the best for both of you.

Whoa... this is really making me think. I “freak out” quite often; don’t want to be touched or talked to. Just leave me alone and I’m good. As well as the loud sounds! Oh yes! Sometimes just the tv going, kids talking and playing (or fighting), husband talking, or videos going just kills me on the inside. I’m also self destructive. Not as bad now that I’ve had kids, but every once in a while. I wouldn’t even know where to start talking to someone about it though. I usually just cope and manage and my own. 💕 Thanks for the video. I’m going to share it with my hubs.

Thank you for sharing! Very helpful 😊

My girlfriend has ptsd, and I understand Ryan on the whole "wanting to help but not knowing what to do" thing. It can be kind of exhausting that I can't tell what's going on in her brain but I love her so much no matter what. Plus, she's helped me so much with my acute anxiety and taking care of myself!

Very informative and great vlog. Ryan is so patient and great husband.

Oh Arianna, yet again you amaze me. You may be young, but you most definitely have a lot of wisdom. Your marriage to Ryan, works with your PTSD and struggles because you have made a decision to make it work, as in PTSD isn't the enemy in the corner. I think teaching your kids independent play is a great mummy coping still in and off itself, regardless of PTSD. I totally think making it part of your PTSD care plan, means you are looking after yourself and ultimately that makes you a better mum. So proud of you, and of you both as a couple, sharing your married life with us "people of the Internet". Both of you are very wise, and it's extremely refreshing seeing a real and normal Christian marriage. Side note -I'm neither married or a mum! So maybe I have no right to an opinion! BUT anyway - LOVE YOU GUYS!! You are awesome!!

Ryan u r such a great husband and dad!!! Arianna u r a phenomenal person all around, u r brave and thoughtful!!!! Love u two so much!!!!

I get flustered & overwhelmed easily. A few weeks ago, my boyfriend & I were reorganizing our closet. After a few hours, I was DONE! I asked my boyfriend to come lay down and hold me. It was the only thing that was going to calm me in that moment. I was eventually able to get back up and finish the closet. Deep Pressure Therapy is amazing.

Honestly I think more parents need to teach independent play even if they don't have PTSD or other forms of anxiety. Like you mentioned most parents have that breaking point and just need to get away from the screaming, crying and whining. The kids will be fine playing by themselves. They have an imagination. 🙂

@Windsweptzariel

7 жыл бұрын

Annie Paree Absolutely! As a mom with teenagers, I can say it's very helpful in the long run that kids have independent play time. They learn how to do things for themselves. I even believe I have a better relationship with my teens because we don't get on each other's nerves all the time from being around each other too much.

@annieparee284

7 жыл бұрын

Windsweptzariel exactly! I have a great relationship with my mom as well and I believe it's for the same reason. It also taught me to be an independent person and to take care of myself.

My husband is a nurse & he does not totally understand when I am starting or having an anxiety attack. He stands back & watches & wait. I tell him to take care of my daughter who has autism. I will focus on me.

Love this.. I feel as if my partner thinks its just an excuse. You are a lucky girl! Thanks for the video makes me realize im not alone. And my struggles are real but i got this :)

Great video guys, good info

thankyou for sharing.. its helping much.

This is so amazing

Wow. The deep pressure therapy I think I figured that out for me without knowing it or knowing it was a thing 🤔 interesting 😊

I love this I have PTSD and this will help my wife Understand Me.

I have PTSD, officially diagnosed in 2000.I. used to be engaged.i love my cats.i just found your channel.

So I don't have PTSD, or at least I've never been diagnosed with it. But I do have Anxiety and Depression. This video was very helpful coming from Ryan's perspective (hi Ryan!). I'm gonna have my husband watch it because I know he struggles with my anxiety/panic attacks too. So thank you :)

Thank you!

You are one of the best moms I know 💞

I'm very curious I know you have shared a lot of your story and just growing up and your struggles. Would Ryan ever consider doing his story one day. I think it would be very interesting and learning more about him.

This video was super helpful. I don’t know anyone this like me in “real life”.

You got a good one! God bless ❤️

Omg u guys rock for this video, idk how much damage I did to our relationship but we're really trying to work it out & we do see ourselves being married, but it's just been tough

@WOLFanddBEAR

5 жыл бұрын

This is all just falling into place for me, i've been through the ringer & now it feels to me that it isnt anyones fault, its the sickness. I didnt do the vacuuming the other day & now its like the world is ending, I've been in this situation before many times, but now its making sense to me. I hope we can get through this together....

I think Ryan and my husband should start a psychology business! :) I have complex ptsd and Dissociative Identity Disorder. My husband naturally got it too. Some guys seem to have no problem loving! I've been working on finding the right service dog the past 3yrs. There's only a couple breeds in the pound, no puppies, and I can't even tell breeders about the D.I.D. or they'll cancel on me. If you have any ideas on that please let me know, and thanks for the video, I enjoyed it!

I have PTSD or PTRS and I Wonder if anyone else have hearing hallucinations and apply Words your spouse haven't said during your flashbacks? Great video gonna show my spouse we have just met and he needs all the advice he can get.

I also get anxiety so I need to be more understanding as well

Y'all are too cute together!

Gave me lots of ideas for my channel.

Thank you for this. My wife has PTSD and anxiety and it isn’t easy at all. My wife has never said this but after her outbreaks, she makes me feel like the enemy... I’m not sure what do.

@carinfreimond8080

4 жыл бұрын

That sounds really hard. Have you found any support?

@Elya08

Жыл бұрын

Ick… I’ve unintentionally done this to my husband because of what’s known as Emotional Flashbacks. I’m feeling the emotions from a traumatic event without knowing it was from past emotions because I had no visual context. This may be the case with your wife, too. For my part, so many little environmental cues were triggering me and it had nothing to do with my husband. Likely, she’s actually venting emotions about someone else in her past. If you could acknowledge her feelings/emotions, without taking it personally, it may change her responses and help keep you emotionally safe, too. And if you could listen to the emotions behind her words and restate what you hear her saying, it may also help you. :)

I'm about to get married to someone who this illness we have known eachother over 23 years he is actually my daughters dad we have had some bad history in the past with abuse I didn't know he had this until recently being diagnosed PTSD I'm here for him n we agreed to love support n be there for eachother but also give eachother space 🙏💯

Thank you so much , I have been searching for a spouses side of a marriage with someone with ptsd. My wife tried in her own way to explain to me while dating but after we married it was a whole new ballgame and slowly she is trying her best to help me understand. Most ppl with ptsd tend to close it up and hide it from their chosen loved ones. Message to women who suffer from ptsd and fall in love , please tell that someone share with him slowly but help them understand.

@Elya08

Жыл бұрын

This is a great idea, if you know you have PTSD. I didn’t know until our marriage reached a breaking point. We’re separated for now, while I’m working on healing my CPTSD, and trying to explain to my husband what’s going on and been going on for me.

@yedub1

Жыл бұрын

@@Elya08 good for you try as much a possible to be honest and truthful to him. It will build mutual trust between both of you. I would add on that he should be part of your healing and get some insite (with you permission) to talk to your therapist. God bless you and may you find the tools within to heal.

I've always wondered what it was like for couples. My boyfriend lives quite far away and whenever i would have an severe panic attack he would tell me to stand up and move around. Which always annoys me, because it never works but he think he will because it helped with his sister. I've had a panic and anxiety disorder for a long time and only once has someone understood what to do. The same with my depression. When I have panic attacks my legs get insanely numb and i struggle to stand which is why it annoys me when he tells me to walk around to finish it off.. the longest time it has gone on was 2 hours so standing isn't really going to work. I just wanted to know how other couples deal with this so thank you for this video :) also, sorry for my bad english lol

I am talking to someone with ptsd. Not sure if I wanna continue the relationship but he’s a nice person. He’s in the army.

Loud sounds are a big thing for me with having a bit of anxiety it's hard at time like if we're in costco and it's loud I'll like start to freak out and try to hurry my parents along to get out cause I can here the people and I start feeling faint and can't breath and it just gets hard to go into stores I've flat out stopped in the middle of Walmart and completely broke down school gets hard at times cause there's all these loud noises and I just cry cause it bothers me so much and I've never had a solution to help with that

@robynlewis6313

5 жыл бұрын

Sonia Stigall you’re not alone. Loud noises can be horrible, especially if you’re not expecting them.

I need my Ole man to understand with my anxiety and depression and PTSD I WAS RAPPED AND BEATEN 6 YEARS AGO AND IT WAS REALLY BAD!

This is a very informative video. Thank you! This got me thinking about possible implications for the adoption process...has anyone out there had difficulty being accepted for adoption due to having PTSD/anxiety/depression?

Arianna, they do have weighted blankets for anxiety, would something like be helpful as well? I truly do not fully understand it as I don't have to deal with it and I am thankful for that and am glad that you are sharing.

@ariannapflederer

7 жыл бұрын

+Patricia Cloninger I have used my daughters weighed lap pad before and it does help a bit. I just had Levi do DPT when ryan wasn't around, and ryan does it when he is home. But, now that Levi has passed I may have to borrow my daughters lap pad should ryan not be home 🙂

he is so sweet

@zoelove5106

5 жыл бұрын

awww you liked it you're sweet too

Talk about coping skills having PTSD..

When you got Levi second semester of your junior year, what was it like taking him to school? I have ptsd and it was suggested to me to look into a service dog, but I am starting college next year and I'm worried about what having a service dog would look like there!

Idk what to do maybe someone here can help me so I have anxiety panic disorder where I basically have random panic attacks for seemingly no reason about once or twice a month but it varies. I met this girl at my work and she is awesome and we became really good friends and eventually we started dating. I told her about my disorder and she told me how her father abused her when she was younger and now she has ptsd from that and she gets alot of anxiety attacks from it. I had NVR met anyone before who had come anywhere near understanding what I go through the way she does and we grew closer through that. My love language is physical touch and it really helps me calm down when I've had a bad day with my anxiety but she actually told me that physical touch was one of her triggers that make her have anxiety most of the time and she never really likes to get physical with me or anyone else for that matter so we had a long discussion about it and I told her that I would be willing to work with her to get over this and see how we can make it work as a relationship because I hv found something in her that I have nvr found in anyone else and I feel like it is worth fighting for. She said she would have to think about it and I told her that that was fine and I understand. That was a few hours ago from now and it feels like I am stuck because I really don't want to lose her but at the same time Idk if we are just to harmful for eachother. Sorry for this being so long but for anyone with the kindness and time to read all this I would love to hear your response.

thank you for the video it help me a lot how to handle if I committed to a new relationship, with my ptsd I been sexually assaulted many times thanks for this video hun :)

I suffer with awful ptsd and anxiety I have set up my channel to help others love to all and never feel alone xx

i struggle sooooo much with my anxiety and depression and ive kept it in for so long because i feel like if i tell anyone they wont listen nor will they care because they have their own issues. i struggle with self harming and have aince i was in 7th grade. My anxiety and my horror story began when i was in 3rd grade and only 8 yesrs old. my dad got into a bad motorcycle accident and almost died. when we went to the hospital the doctors told me i couldnt see them so it was instilled in my brain that my dad was dead... and my dad is my best friend. a bunch of other stuff happened because of the accident and how my brain and body processed the whole situation... but even almost 11 years later i still struggle with the flashbacks of those days. i still find days where temptation is stringer than the will to fight. i still keep all my feelings and stuff inside and away from anyone else. its hard to sleep at night because there is just so much bottled up inside. im 19 now and i hope soon i can get all of this figured out and find my own happiness. cuz right now im not happy. i may "fake it till i make it" with a smile but deep down i feel like im dying.

@juliewilliams4068

7 жыл бұрын

LifeWithPaige. There is help out there for you. If you are in school ( college) there are counselor there to help you. can you go to a family member and confide in them? Praying for you. (((((((HUGS)))

@paigecurylo4625

7 жыл бұрын

Julie Williams i choose not to talk about it. counselors have time and time again told me it would be confidential and told my family things that made life worse and made me question everything. thats why i keep it all in.

@robynlewis6313

5 жыл бұрын

Sorry to hear school counselors have not kept things confidential, that’s a trust issue and PTSD sufferers already have trust issues, so that just makes them worse. What about going to a United Way counselor? (Or some other non-school connected counselor). Even if you don’t have the finances to do that, most of the non-profit ones will do a sliding scale for payment, and sometimes it can even be free. Definitely look into it, as it sounds like you need some relief, someone safe to share this with😀.

How do I get my husband to handle an deal with my severe ANXIETY and PTSD? I'm 47 years old with kids that are grown and moved out. I didn't develop this severely until 2015. But I feel like my husband of 7 years doesn't care to read, listen, or learn about my mental health.😥

Thank you so much for posting this. I am currently very upset and very triggered because my husband doesn't understand what's going on with me. And unfortunately I think he quite possibly has PTSD as well so I get very confused and triggered by his outburst and paranoia. This video has helped me to know where my boundaries should be but also to have more compassion for him and his confusion/ paranoia. Hopefully it helps him to understand me too. Thank you so much. You have really helped me calm down and get a better POV on what's happening and how to handle it

@carinfreimond8080

4 жыл бұрын

Did you ever get any support with this?

I can relate. I am the one suffering from P.T.S.D. I do this to my fiancee

for guys its seems to be a bit more frustrating because are naturally built to want to fix things. the guys do at sometime realize that the fix just has to go on someone else's time frame and they have to play sit and wait until they can hold in a hug to just reassure that you are there.

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How can I get my dog trained to be a service dog for PTSD?

I wish my fiancee and I communicated this well. Her CPTSD is severe. Ryan is very much me, and I can keep my cool like an ice cube. My frustration is even with years of communication, she still appears to not understand my emotions or try much, but instead always focuses on her problems. I have to walk her through this, while I can tell a detailed story of her perception, motivations and fears and she'll agree I understand her. She never has done the same without me greatly intervening and later she seems to forget it anyway. I'm patient and empathetic, but she is not. CPTSD seems insurmountable, and I have had to postpone our wedding. She is rude to my family and has made them feel uncomfortable and unsafe around her because her vengeance to even small things lasts years. She wants everyone to feel her misery and won't let go of anything. If she could be this well adjusted, we could work things out. Now it is up in the air and I'm leaving youtube comments on PTSD videos, it is so discouraging that this doesn't seem like a possible future for her or me.

@Elya08

Жыл бұрын

Speaking from the perspective of one with CPTSD, and the wife with “vengeful behaviors”… A lot of those behaviors are likely caused by triggers in the environment. I’m not by any means excusing her. I’m stating from my own experience that even kind things people tried to do would trigger the crap out of me, long before I even knew I HAD CPTSD. I found out the hard way in my marriage, because my symptoms were so sporadic and disjointed, it was hard to even realize I had any kind of PTSD, and I also had had severe head trauma as a kid that stunted some developmental areas for me, on top of emotional and social skills being stunted. Anyone with CPTSD needs therapeutic help. If you can convince her to go with you to help your relationship improve (not to attack her or her issues, but to tackle life together), you may be able to salvage your relationship. My husband and I didn’t know I have CPTSD, and we’re both flailing in the dark after hurting each other a bunch. Right now, he’s taking care of our two kiddos while I get my head screwed on straight. CPTSD and trauma therapy work is VERY exhausting. I’ll pass out and sleep for hours after a therapy session some days, and still feel tired. I also have a crap ton of adrenaline running through my system almost 24/7. It’s exhausting physically, mentally, and emotionally. Try lowering your expectations of her, because she likely is trying her best to navigate the exhaustion and triggers and feels inadequate and judgment from others for “not being good enough” or “functional enough”, and probably pushes people away because she (ironically) feels like a burden and doesn’t want to hurt others. This has been my experience personally and with others with trauma. They feel like a burden and try to push people away to protect them from their issues and trauma reactions.

Big question here. What do you do when your spouse goes numb as far as love & intimacy, and withdraws from you? For days at a time. Do you constantly tell them how much you love and adore them? Or do you just leave them alone and give them space until they finally reach out? It can be so confusing because you don’t know if they’re just overwhelmed with their life, or if they’re falling out of love. Advice please.

@tabithamoriconi4478

5 жыл бұрын

Charlie Rourke bare with them. I feel like this all of the time. It's not because I don't love my girlfriend it's just because I'm overwhelmed with myself. I often think how she could still love me even when I hate myself. It makes no sense even right now as I think of it. Ask your partner when they are "okay" what they want you to do when they are feeling reserved. Most times I don't want Lauren to touch me just like arianna says. I need to find immediate space because I'll end up blowing up. It may last a day or two but I get out of it eventually and become overly obsessed with touching and feeling on my girlfriend because 1, it's been a while and 2, I LOVE her and become so thankful that she stays everytime. Even tho I know she deserves better in THOSE times that I am reserved. Man I need to go home and kiss her right. Now. I hope you and your partner can get thru it together. I know it's difficult but remember your partner is overwhelmed and still needs you no matter what they feel and how they are executing it towards you. Their harsh words are in defense of their own self. (Just like a bully... they're upset with them self not you) just let it pass it will ALWAYS pass. A person with ptsd is not going to stay with the person who triggers them. They need YOU.

@MJ-od5sh

3 жыл бұрын

Great question I am going through this with a guy that is very excitedly hot & very cold . It’s driving me mad but we live 1.5 hours away making it harder for me just to go round and hug him . He has a lot of past trauma . How do I hang in there ? Help please

@michofast

Жыл бұрын

@@MJ-od5sh did you find a solution ?

@MJ-od5sh

Жыл бұрын

@@michofast It ended long time ago . Am well over it . He is one messed up guy & still is. Never go back to that again .

@michofast

Жыл бұрын

@@MJ-od5sh I’m living the same situation with my gf atm, and long distance is making it hard and sometimes I don’t know what to do, even when i think and accept we are not meant to each other, guilt tore me apart !

for more after the healing time how r you going to handle social things now with out leiv. are u going to be useing Loki(hope I spelled his name right) more when u go out??

When I'm having a panic attack is hugging me a great help to calm me down, but not from *everyone* i know that's weird. But what about people with ptsd? Is it always bad to hug the person having flashbacks/panic attacks? Or different for everyone?

@ariannapflederer

5 жыл бұрын

It totally depends on the person and who is the one hugging. Sometimes I don’t want to be touched at all! Always asking if someone wants a DPT hug is best 🙂 I wouldn’t want one from anyone but my husband or my dog though.

@Elya08

Жыл бұрын

Agreed. Always ask. Some traumas may be caused by sexual abuse and touch is often a no-go for those people. Touch was negative and not seen as comforting for me, but as a threat and dangerous, and would trigger me even more into a deeper panic.

hey arianna what kind of advice would you give for someone that has just been told that they have ptsd due to finding a parent that passed away. you reached out to me when my mom passed away but i have been told by my counsler that i have ptsd i am doing better then i was at the beginning of the whole situation but every now and again flashbacks happen how can i cope with them in a safe way effectivly.

@Elya08

Жыл бұрын

Something I’ve learned about my flashbacks is that it’s okay to have them and feel anything I feel during my flashbacks. Talking to the traumatized part of me and saying comforting things like “It wasn’t your fault. I’m so sorry you lost your mom that way, etc.” really helps me in a flashback. Basically, embrace the flashbacks as a friend and comfort yourself (or have someone else comfort you) because there was no comfort to be had in that moment of trauma, and your brain/body need the reminder. 💕

My partner suffer with axiety,depression and ptsd it's so hard she gets random anger outbursts and takes her anger out on me saying horrible things and sometimes she gets physical aswell which hurts me alot😔 my family don't get it and always tells me to leave her and stuff but I can't just give up on her😫 I love her too much to do that and they don't like her cus of things she's says to me when she has her outbursts but I know it's not her fault any advice I could have please cus I'm not one to just give up and walk away😔

Want to help the situation need to know more helpful tips

What is the difference between a panic attack and a anxiety attack?

@ariannapflederer

7 жыл бұрын

+piinky969 anxiety attacks have a forewarning because there is a direct cause. There is an exact trigger attached to it. Panic attacks come on with no forewarning and have no direct trigger.

Hello, I have been going on some movie dates, cooking together & a movie dates a woman with ptsd. We used to work together for a few years before getting together for the dates. I would like for us to become an official couple. And the vibes and energy I get from her, seems like she does too. But, she has admittedly stated she can't help but be guarded. That she has a really hard time opening up and having a relationship. Which I have been doing my best to respect, and do my best to understand. Also wondering if that is her way of hinting she wamts to, but needs more time to comfortably try us as a couple? She is also at times hot and cold with me. But, has stated several times that she doesn't mean to leave me hanging. And that she thinks I'm amazing. And she really values our time together etc.. So I'm just wondering if you are able to help me better understand the situation? She means the world to me. And I want to be able to provide the empathy, love, compassion, stability, security, happiness etc.. she deserves! I am so greatful that she has been gradually opening up little by little. Just looking for any help to understand where she's coming from, if possible? Thank you for your time with this comment and questioning! 🙏🏼🙌🏼

Do you differentiate anxiety attacks and panic attacks?

@ariannapflederer

7 жыл бұрын

+Windsweptzariel oh yes, for sure! They actually are two different things. An anxiety attack has a trigger, so it happens because something that makes you anxious was happening. Where as a panic attack has no forewarning and no direct trigger. They both feel the same...but one has a direct cause and one does not.

@Windsweptzariel

7 жыл бұрын

Arianna Pflederer Yes. I thought so, I just wasn't sure if they were used interchangeably now. I've dealt with students having panic attacks and mostly I just make sure they are comfortable and in a safe place. I reassure them that I am there, but don't continue talking. At least in my experience it seems being calm and not reacting like it's a big deal helps.

Can I ask what caused your ptsd sorry if too personal xx

@ariannapflederer

4 жыл бұрын

I have other videos about it :) but I grew up with an alcoholic father, so several events around that. I also had a very emotionally abusive boyfriend in high school.

@flowersafeheart

3 жыл бұрын

Oh thank you for sharing that and so very sorry you went through that. This is the first video I've seen by you and it's wonderful and brave!

How come you don't like to be touched? I feel that way at night and have no idea why...i don't want anyone touching me.

@Elya08

Жыл бұрын

For me, mine is due to inappropriate, abusive touching by my older brother, specifically in my sleep. Took 15 years for details of what actually occurred to resurface for me. Knocked the wind out of my sails because of it… 😑 Not sure if this is the case for the video poster, but since she grew up with an alcoholic father, touch may be associated with physical abuse, perhaps for her.

I hope it's not rude to ask, maybe you have covered it in another video, and it's totally okay if you don't want to share. But I was just wondering what triggered your PTSD? If you know

@ariannapflederer

7 жыл бұрын

+Sarah Sutton there is a blog post in the description box that you can read about it. But, I will be doing a broad overview for the next video!

You are very lucky that he understands something he doesn't have and doesn't judge you. With these judgemental arrogant men

Ye ah well my wife pushes buttons

@Elya08

Жыл бұрын

Those “buttons” may be your triggers to past traumas and are yours to tend and heal. I’ve learned the hard way that triggers are mine to tend, because it’s not the other person’a fault my brain and body have a reaction to something they said or did that was associated with negative traumatic events in my past. It’s my job to untangle those past events so the present triggers don’t affect me and my relationships.

Wow, just wow. I have been married to a PTSD wife for 20 years and I'm here to let you in on a little secret. You can not make a mutually beneficial relationship with a PTSD individual. You are her care taker and that's all. It will be take after take for the PTSD person. Her demands will increase. You wont even be able to build intimacy. It will slowly deteriorate. She will always change her view on you from month to month. I gets worse with age.. So sorry man. I'm unbelievably sorry.

@ariannapflederer

6 жыл бұрын

With a truly GENUINE support system and proper therapy, PTSD symptoms will improve not worsen. I have never changed my view on my husband because he is as solid as they come. He doesn’t think less of me or our relationship because of the crap circumstances I was dealt as a kid. We have zero issues with intimacy either. You can do something for 20 years and be doing it the wrong way. My husband and I have been together almost 8 years. Do we know everything? Nope. But we know our relationship has only gotten stronger. Why? Because we put the work in to it. We know what it means to truly love unconditionally. And we put a LOT of faith in God. We have two kids, moved 800 miles away from our family, have another baby on the way - and yes I have PTSD. But we have only gotten closer. PTSD doesn’t decide what our relationship is like. Maybe try putting more faith in your wife and tell her you believe in her for once. How would you feel if you struggled with what she does and had someone you love just refer to themselves as your “care taker” and say that it will always just get worse. If you speak to her the way you spoke about her in this comment...that’s called emotional abuse. Which can also cause PTSD. When my husband and I were 18 years old...i depended on a service dog and a lot of medication. That 18 year old boy told me constantly that he believed in me and he believed one day I would be off all my meds. He held my hand when I needed it. Listened when I needed it. And most importantly he pointed me back to God. All without complaint. He had faith. He showed what unconditional love truly meant. Those with a support system are more likely to recover. Think about all the negative self talk your wife already has while battling PTSD. Then add yours on top of it. How exactly do you expect her to improve or your relationship to? Marriage takes work from both sides. I would encourage you to seek marriage counseling with someone who has an expertise in PTSD. Seek out a church to have a support system for your relationship. But most importantly - start believing in your wife. “In Sickness and in health” is not just physical sickness.

@ironwillie7666

6 жыл бұрын

I'm in counseling (wife off and on) have been for 8 years now. Trust me, I know marriage work. My first 10 years were magical. But, true intimacy takes years of building. You learn that when you turn 50. He is still young enough to be lead via hormones. And just wait until your kid gets to a similar age of your abuse. Be prepared for that mind fuck. I used to believe that my case was the exception too. When my wife was 26, your story was mine. Around 35 was her first full break from reality followed by 6 week in the hospital. Now 20 years later, I get it. Yep, it seems legit at first. But your husband is already walking on egg shells. I can see it. He is amazing. I'm in a support group with around 30 other couples and the story's are all the same. Awesome to misery. That's the catch 22 with PTSD. You think you can but you just can't. You think you got it, but you don't. I wish the exception was the rule. But its not. Maybe your exceptional?? But my dollar says you play by the rules. I wish you the luckiest of luck..

@ariannapflederer

6 жыл бұрын

My identity is in Christ, not my husband. If you take the time to get to know us and watch our vlog channel, you would know that my husband has his own dark past. He has opened up about his past and current struggles to me, and he knows that no matter what he tells me; I will love him, respect him, and support him. Just as much as before, if not more. You mentioned that your wife's first break from reality was at 35. Mine was at 16. 3 hospitalizations totaling in missing over 2 months of school for a mixture of in-patient and full-time out-patient. My journey is not your wife's journey. My husbands journey, is not your journey. Our journey isn't even any of the 30 other couples you are in a support group with. Ryan and I started dating when I was fresh out of that break down. When I was at the height of my bulimia and cutting. Two things I beat over 5 years ago. I got a service dog for PTSD when I was 16 years old. That was the "medication" and coping method that worked to get me to where I am today. While it took me almost no time to find my perfect "medication" it may take others 30+ years. But the point is - PTSD is not something that HAS to only get worse. Statistics themselves say that. Yes, there will be days, weeks, or even a month that the anxiety, flashbacks, nightmares may start to strengthen more again. But to the point that I am going to head back to a breakdown? No. I believe that it's my faith in God and rooting my identity in Christ that has played the biggest role in that. PTSD is not my enemy, nor my husbands. I understand that you have been married a long time to someone with PTSD, and things aren't going well. For that I am truly wholeheartedly sorry. I will be praying for you and your wife. And I mean that, I'm not just saying it. If I believed even a word of what you said about the fate of my marriage - how would that help? Why should I CHOOSE to just give up and repeat your cycle? I won't. I make it a regular thing to ask my husband how HE is doing. To ask him if there is anything that I could be doing better to help him and ultimately help our marriage.

@ironwillie7666

6 жыл бұрын

Maybe your faith will be what makes you exceptional... I do believe god can heal. So, I will pray with you. Good luck.

@robynlewis6313

5 жыл бұрын

Arianna. So glad you see that no two relationships are alike, and what is true for one couple, is not for another. I disagree that it can’t work out. I know it can😀