I have been diagnosed with bipolar 1 disorder, PTSD and social anxiety disorder. Following on from my last few videos, I am talking here about memories.
I am crying, as I am still processing but wanted to explain while it was fresh in my head. I have been listening to music that accessed the emotion that I had 'stuck' inside. The song which I came upon (via many links and associations in my mind) was 'The Way We Were' by Barbra Streisand. I have no recollections of hearing this song, although I do have vague memories of Barbra Streisand on TV. Yet perhaps I did hear this song, but forgot?
Yesterday, I went to the op shop looking for metal coat hangers to use as wings and bought an unusual collection of items including a bright pink feather boa, a cable which I think might be an old tv speaker cable, an old record with memories and an old CD with the title 'Memories'. Ideas for a creative sculpture - along with another sculpture I am wanting to make out of stuff no-one else wants.
This morning, I was singing in the shower the tune to the song Memory, which I hadn't heard for years. I could only remember the first line. I looked up on You Tube and listened to 3 artists singing it but was drawn to Barbra Streisand. Felt emotional with some of the lyrics. Then saw a suggested song, 'The Way We Were.' The first word of this song was Memories. The song made me cry.
I wrote them down and highlighted the words 'what's too painful to remember, we simply forget, so it's the laughter we will remember.' I wrote on the CD the meaningful lyrics, because I will forget them again.
Although, I never really forget. My mind never forgets but blanks out the pain - 'forgets', shuts down, goes high (with bipolar). Part of processing is letting go of the pain.