Underated privilege: having a stable and loving family.

@sebaa7308

Жыл бұрын

Npc

@sleepisthecousinofdeath7395

Жыл бұрын

Underrated privilege: being a straight white male

@Adam-sn4zi

Жыл бұрын

@@sebaa7308 thank you for your input.

@majortom331

Жыл бұрын

Bot account stealing comments day in and out.

@Th0rn5555

Жыл бұрын

Without getting too "🤓" it does play a huge factor in the development of a person and could have a huge impact on their future

Enyone that acts like it's not a thing is in denial

@sleepisthecousinofdeath7395

Жыл бұрын

Only ugly people say pretty privilege is real

@nottalk2me

Жыл бұрын

same people that benefit from it

@velDANTe

Жыл бұрын

*anyone that acts like it's not a thing is attractive

@Slyslug

Жыл бұрын

I dont know if I actually believe there are humans who spell "anyone" like that. Highly suspicious

@maymayman0

Жыл бұрын

Seriously like we are living in a world where people want to pretend that evolutionary advantages are not a thing 🤣

It's called the halo effect. Attractive people are treated way better than unattractive people.

@outrider8569

Жыл бұрын

Yep the assumption that pretty people are "good" is pretty prevalent.

@thesaddestdude3575

Жыл бұрын

Its a big thing in blackpill spheres, and believe me it hits hard. Im pretty much a 2/10, i regularly see people saying things that would land me in jail if i even hinted at. Also pretty privilege used to be mostly for women, but in newer generations it hits men SIGNIFICANTLY harder. Look at dating apps statistics. If you're anything else that upper end of average you might as well give up, there is no chance whatsoever. It makes sense that people still think women are less judgemental but when you look at the actual data its far from the case. Confidence doesn't actually matter that much unless you are already attractive, if you are confident while ugly people just see you as cocky. Same goes for being funny, i could tell a joke and people just kinda smile a bit, when the popular guy in class stole my joke and told it a couple of days later, damn the laughs. I wish it stopped at just being rejected romantically, which by itself hurts, but it seems into everything else in life.

@JoeyJ0J0

Жыл бұрын

@@thesaddestdude3575 it's over

@thesaddestdude3575

Жыл бұрын

@@JoeyJ0J0 Thats not true, it never began.

@redline841

Жыл бұрын

You could say the halo effect is destined to make pretty people be treated well

Not only is it a privilege, it literally defines your part of your personality at a young age.

@CharlieKellyEsq

Жыл бұрын

It shouldn't, that's very unhealthy

@bobSeigar

Жыл бұрын

​@@CharlieKellyEsq Shouldn't? Wrong. Social acceptance and placement in a hierarchy is literally human nature. Pretty people are elevated so their genes may be preserved. Could it be seen as immoral? Sure, but then that will cause dissonance within a person. Accept truth without judging it, or be a slave to emotion.

@tonyisnotdead

Жыл бұрын

@@bobSeigar hierarchies are unnatural

@bobSeigar

Жыл бұрын

@@tonyisnotdead Absolutely false. Predator > Prey. Welcome to the Axium of the Animal Kingdom.

@penskepc2374

Жыл бұрын

​@@tonyisnotdead what?

pretty privilege does exist, but receiving those benefits later on in life after not having it beforehand is CRAZY

@shybie2798

Жыл бұрын

No fr specially when you have severe trauma from being called ugly so when ur complimented your brain goes "Are they joking?" Mainly i much rather stay being called ugly cause idk how to really react when called pretty

@newdarc

Жыл бұрын

frfr feel sorry for ugly young me please

@rosalina2773

Жыл бұрын

Idk if people still use this phrase but I remember that being called “ugly duckling syndrome” when I was teen. As in the danish fable of the baby swan who teased by the ducks and called ugly until he grows up.

@mathews2774

Жыл бұрын

Holy moly this is true. I hit a massive growth spurt and got one of those wavy tiktok middle parts like 5 years ago and everyone became so nice all of a sudden.

@jordansanchez131

8 ай бұрын

@@shybie2798you are lying

Pretty privilege is a top 5 privilege for sure. It can make or break someone's entire lifestyle. Examples include being the cream of the crop on Onlyfans, being chosen on a dating app, being hired as a model, being approached by others without even trying, being harassed or stalked, etc. And that's just a very small handful of examples.

@Gairith

Жыл бұрын

I think the top one is having instant confidence without even realizing you have it

@Daniel_WR_Hart

Жыл бұрын

Even just getting hired for any kind of job where customers/clients can see you

Current example of pretty privilege: Ezra Miller being allowed to be in the new flash movie and not in jail

@tootoo2354

Жыл бұрын

Bro is just rich

@Windermed

Жыл бұрын

tbf tho i don’t think pretty privilege has anything to do with it. i mean sure? it COULD but i think the only reason he’s not is because he’s famous AND rich. (i mean.. we’ve seen it already with the clients of that island and how none of them have been prosecuted or arrested yet)

@JoeM343

Жыл бұрын

Ah yes, he's gotten away with ALL OF THAT because he's 'pretty'. Definitely nothing to do with him coming from a certain disproportionately over-represented and pathologically nepotistic group of people who practically run the entertainment industry 😂

@JoeM343

Жыл бұрын

See also, Woody Allen

@bluechains3452

Жыл бұрын

Ezra miller isn’t out of jail because he’s attractive, he’s out of jail because he was born in the right tribe

I was considered pretty in ninth grade and I was a cheerleader. Since I had always been a fan of punk music anytime I wasn't wearing my cheer uniform I wore jeans with patches, beanies, large cardigans etc. My best friend and I shaved our heads about 3 months into our school year and we were immediately treated differently. I'm talking friendisowned, us, boys who literally chased us for years stopped paying attention and this was the biggest lesson: my teachers even got weird. Not only were we asked to leave the cheerleading squad, One of them actually asked me why I wanted to look like a hoodlum. It was a learning experience I'm more than happy to have endured. The following year I had grown my hair out and began wearing more feminine clothes. I wasn't wearing skirts and dresses cause that wasn't my style but I was wearing clothes that were flattering. Seeing the activity that plagued me the previous year melt away and having the exact same people who had once shunned me kiss my ass in an attempt to be friends again was extremely disheartening. People are assholes. I'll also never forget this beauty pageant back in the very early 90s where this woman who had been singled out on account of her talent (I believe it was a very difficult musical instrument she was able to play astonishingly well) and one of her questions that would have moved her into the next round was along the lines of asking about her preference in terms of attributes as a woman in today's world. She chose beauty with her excuse being that if she hadn't been born lucky enough to be beautiful she never would have been able to leave her country (Albania). She also went on to showcase her extraordinary self awareness by explaining how being smart is something that happens over time and begins with experience and what a person deals with in terms of difficulty and such. I for one, thought it was brilliant and yet the judges did not allow her to continue into the finals. Her answer stuck with me on account of my own life and needless to say I think she was treated unfairly in that God forbid someone answers truthfully in a beauty pageant. I also believe that unless those other people knew what her struggle was like in terms of leaving her home country they would have kept her in the pageant.

@jsrsd

Жыл бұрын

thank you for sharing.

@gonegogone

Жыл бұрын

That is quite the humbling experience. You really got to see the uglier side of people

@peanutbutter4949

Жыл бұрын

I shaved my head 2 years ago and the difference in treatment from people was astonishing, as a woman it was actually really nice to not be bothered anytime i went outside lol i felt invisible

@InkaPuroshiVT

Жыл бұрын

@@peanutbutter4949 ikr??? when i shaved my head, it was kinda freeing! and after you live with long hair most of your life, the breeze feels so nice on your skull omg

@KAMFP

Жыл бұрын

I feel that's why you'd see alot of feminists destroy their looks, as if it feels wrong to be pretty and that they believe only the inside matters. But the problem then becomes that they act far more hostile as well, so it doesn't quite work out as planned. I was definately more chubby i the face when I was in highschool, but in college I feel it finally filled out somewhat. Though I never rid of all my facial hair because I just don't want to have the visual of being baby--faced. I also kept weight on because I wanted to be recognized more for my personality than my looks but that devolved into bad habits of gaining too much weight and now I am paying for that in my later years, need to focus getting back into my healthy weight range and concern myself less about how that would make me appear to others.

I really enjoy the more philosophical and/or personal direction this content leads. The god-tier shitposting and trolling is fun too, but this video hits different.

I have to point out something funny. Ugly people tend to be looked down on in society. But Ive seen documentaries about super attractive people that lost their good looks to some accident or disease, and their newly unattractive faces are looked at as a tragedy

@nokeksgiven

Жыл бұрын

That’s quite understandable, no? It’s not just about losing your looks. It’s about losing a huge part of your self-image due to a horribly painful disfigurement. That’s a tragedy no matter who you are.

@Gairith

Жыл бұрын

@@nokeksgiven oh for sure. I'm not saying it's not a tragedy, and I sympathize. I just find the comparisons funny. Are people that are born unattractive just walking tragedies? And why do we sympathize more with someone who used to be hot that someone who never was?

As a girl who grew up close to her older brother, I often was seen as a “tomgirl”. So when I dressed normally, for a girl, people would treat me differently by 180 degrees. Door holding, asking me out, etc. but when I wouldn’t put effort into my appearance and just be comfortable, people would often call me a dyke or lesbo just based off my clothing.

@kingofcards9516

Жыл бұрын

Tomboy supremacy.

@CandyAscension

Жыл бұрын

@Leo Lux nah its common in europe

@qpOffBeatPanda999

Жыл бұрын

360 is a circle so you would end up in the same place. you meant 180

@LeMicronaut

Жыл бұрын

​@@qpOffBeatPanda999just beat me to it.

@JonHop1

Жыл бұрын

​@Leo Lux huh?

As a four foot man with a 16" shlong I can say that my height has never been an issue.

@TheRealBaldDude

Жыл бұрын

😂😂

@ryoujigoda1848

Жыл бұрын

proof?

@XxSTACKxX

Жыл бұрын

well thats cause because you stand on it. making you 5'2

@Badookum

Жыл бұрын

Pics or your lying

@camkraw893

Жыл бұрын

My man 😂

You're kidding yourself. Pretty privilege works the same for men, just in different fields.

@jakd2962

7 ай бұрын

While I would say being attractive definitely helps men, men do have more wiggle room in terms of how we can find success in life and in dating. Women are more confined their physical attractiveness giving them value

i really appreciated this video ngl.. i was relentlessly bullied for most of my life due to my appearance. it was actual torture for so long until randomly one day it just stopped, and people started to treat me with so much charity & kindness. i thought for the longest time that maybe it was just that i was confident and that reflected onto others eventually, but the reality was that i just lost weight and finished up puberty, and i was no no longer ugly. being considered once conventionally ugly, and now being refered to as “cute” by most is really interesting, because i was able to see both sides of this conversation. pretty privilege is genuinely an important topic, and i wish it was talked about more

@knoitlol124

Жыл бұрын

ugly ducklings know

The truth is people do judge books by their cover. For example , if you look younger than you are , you get treated based on your appearance and not your actual age. If you’ve got a cute and sweet look, people are going to assume you’re a sweet person.

@SlashinatorZ

Жыл бұрын

Well people online only care about my age on paper. I've aged like Peter pan compared to most Texans from the class of 2012 but nobody gives a crap.

@annabella1650

Жыл бұрын

@@SlashinatorZ Mostly because people online and not in actual physical contact with me only have “on paper”. You’ll get treated as your age by the law, because they have the information readily available.

@SlashinatorZ

Жыл бұрын

@@annabella1650 so people act like I'm a monster for even finding girls under 24 attractive even though I look their age

@annabella1650

Жыл бұрын

@@SlashinatorZ I’m confused now, what exactly are you trying to say?

This actually definitely exists for men, so definitely does for women. When i was like 21, 22 I got super jacked and I just thought my life was normal, that I'd get any job I interviewed for, that women came up to me literally in the street, like at cross walks and everything, gay men too anywhere I went, I even got stalked by a male diplomat which was definitely not a privilege, but people in general I guess were just nice to me, I thought it was normal. Then I went backpacking in Europe for over a year, didnt go to the gym at all, lost like 20-30lbs of muscle and came home. Went back to the exact same neighborhood, exact same job, I got treated like garbage by the same people, things I used to do that were nronal suddenly got me sent home, fired, nobody had respect for me. People told me to stop talking, said I was annoying to my face. Women didnt approach me as much. I realized being jacked genuinely did offer me so much more opportunity and good treatment in life so went back to the gym. Guess what happened, i notived a massive difference in how people treated me after about 6 months back in the gym. I stay jacked year round now for good reason, I genuinely get away with so much, get treated way better, get business opportunities all the time. It is a real thing as a man.

@f.s483

Жыл бұрын

i only need xxl bbws

@Sceptonic

Жыл бұрын

Do not befriend those people who switched on you

@WithDiameter

Жыл бұрын

brb gonna neck myself

@hinata167

Жыл бұрын

Did the experience change how you interact with people?

@xx_amongus_xx6987

Жыл бұрын

Your case could be called privilege, but I would say it's different from other types of pretty/handsome privileges considering you need to earn this privilege.

The mere fact that we're calling the people pretty, is already in itself a privilege, seeing as we find the opposite to be a negative. How the fuck is this a discovery 🤣

@__-bz7wh

Жыл бұрын

It's not a discovery but pretty people want to deny it exists and ugly people wanna cope 😂

Yea I went from being tall and fat in my lower and elementary school years to tall and attractive in college and im glad I was bullied and pushed into having a personality and not riding on the coattails of my visual appearance. But one weird thing I’ve noticed at my art school is the seemingly endless push into the opposite direction and denial that pretty privilege exists when some people are perplexed as to why they aren’t seen as desirable compared to others.

@HE-162

Жыл бұрын

The art world is a unique context tho, because it tends to root peoples value in their creativity, end product, and mind. The art world and in some other communities too, the basis for a persons value and standing in the community is determined using a different equation than the general public. Niche music scenes are a great example of this phenomenon as well. That attitude does bleed over to the public to some extent, as “the weird art girl” is often pretty desirable even if she’s not a stunner by conventional standards. I will say, however, that after dating a professional artist in NYC, the industry is dominated by pretty privilege when it comes to female artists. Maybe it’s because the high end galleries are often owned by rich dudes, or because it’s easier for pretty artists to end up in those spaces, but it definitely mirrors mainstream pretty privilege and I often noticed that group shows had exclusively attractive women (and men) showing their work. Absolutely no question that they sold more work as well at the opening. Art scenes definitely tend to be more equitable to physical form but the professional art world is as vain and shallow as any college bar on Friday night

@Kvvz_

2 ай бұрын

Well, props to you for sticking true to yourself.

@crustbukkit

2 ай бұрын

@@Kvvz_ always a tomdark enjoyer

People should just admit they value attractiveness more than intelligence. The first thing you notice about someone would be their attractiveness after all.

@Dehydratedpencil

Жыл бұрын

It's not as simple that. If you're just looking to shag someone without any strings attached then of course attractiveness matters more. If you want to marry a woman and be with her long term you don't want a dumb person being the parent of your kids.

@pauljerome01

Жыл бұрын

​@@Dehydratedpencil if you treat your others as dumb, you shouldnt be in a relationship 😂

@phosspatharios9680

Жыл бұрын

​​@@Dehydratedpencil tell that to everyone who had the disprivelege of being children of dumb and/or narc mothers who got married due to their appearance

@Dehydratedpencil

Жыл бұрын

@@pauljerome01 Wtf are you talking about?

@Kamisuitendo

Жыл бұрын

That's exactly why looks are more important

Pretty privilege is definitely a thing. I have gotten out of too many things I shouldn’t have due to me being “ conventionally attractive. “ It definitely comes at a cost. I see both sides of this. What I struggle with most is me being kind or polite and primarily men will take this the wrong way and assume I’m interested.

@blumpkabutt

Жыл бұрын

@@thegrimlooper I hate it. I did exotic dancing for a long time and that line is so much finer than most realize.

@General_Junkie

Жыл бұрын

@Krista Armstrong what do you expect? You sexualize yourself in front of men and then act ingenious toward them and feign being interested in them and what they have to say or laugh at their dumb jokes so they will give you money. I have zero sympathy for this scenario at all. You put on a fake and false front in order to get a man's money and then cry and get upset about it when he misinterprets your fake interest as being real. Are you serious right now?? Gtfoh with this nonsense. You aren't a victim in this scenario at all. Far from it. It's part of the game so if you don't like it then find a new game to play or quit playing it all together. And I'm also sure that it's something you hate when it inconveniences you or makes you feel something or deal with something you don't want to but have no problem with it when it makes your life better or gives you things or makes things that will improve your life more accessible and easier to attain.

@SlashinatorZ

Жыл бұрын

Well it's still better than being ugly. I may not look like the standard idea of ugly & I've aged like Peter pan compared to most guys my age but I'm treated like an ugly guy. I'm invisible & scary to beautiful girls, even ugly girls never look twice at me. I'm never hit on by attractive gay guys either, only the older creepier ones.

@AsclepiusHoe

Жыл бұрын

Girl and here I am rejected by every male ever for lacking this buff

@TylerHolt-hh5cf

Жыл бұрын

That can be a thing the guys do to themselves. I admit, I've fallen for women solely cuz they are nice to me, but for someone who doesn't often experience kindness, it definitely sets some sensors off.

i think the most upsetting thing about pretty privilege it that it reinforces mental illness to an extent. in school i was never seen as anything special until i had a major depressive episode and lost some weight in an extremely unhealthy way. people praised me for "glowing up" or whatever tf they said and it just made me feel like probably the lowest point in my life up until that point had ended up being a good thing somehow because i was all of a sudden being treated better by the people around me. the weirdest part about it is i'm not exactly "fat" now either but people seemed to like me better when i was just outright sickly.

Growing up with ugly ducking syndrome really f'ed me up. Being bullied and picked on for being weird and ugly till i hit 16-17 and then had a glow up, the transition to how people treated me threw me through a loop. Im 30 now and still have issues interacting with guys, cause inside im still that weirdo ugly girl but outside im treated as an attractive woman. Anytime someone hits on me i think its a prank and they are trying to make fun of me lmao

You could get propositioned for marriage BEHIND BARS FOR LIFE granted you’re attractive enough.

As a chick, I can tell you, I’ve seen very attractive friends fail pretty hard when trying to become instagrammers and get followings on onlyfans. There’s too many women who want the easy route and it’s saturating the market. You gotta be hot af or have a niche. Yeah, they make money at first but then it slowly fizzles out because they can’t/aren’t willing to bring anything else to the table. I can’t tell you first hand about trying to get into the market, tho. Y’all I’m ugly af.

I don't understand how anyone could not see examples of this literally every day. Like, this shit starts at childhood.

This is true not only for relationships but for every other aspect of life. Attractive people have more opportunity in life in general.

Hearing Tom say the phrase “pretty privilege” so many times was strange

Something my mother has expressed to me when talking about male privilege is that most men don't have to worry about being raped, ever. Even the attractive ones, outside of a prison cell it just doesn't really happen. She said that women however, even ugly ones have to worry about that shit like all the time, she said that it's unsafe for her to be walking around alone at night. That shit stuck with me because I usually like driving around at night and I ain't ever concerned about getting raped, robbed maybe, but not raped

Thank you for making this video, pretty privilege is one of those things that people never talk about, in spite of it being an important aspect of school and employment relations.

@waffles905

Жыл бұрын

I think the reason why it isn't talked about is because everyone knows it exists and also know that people who deny it are most likely attractive. You can't really do anything about it, it's just something you have to accept, if you are born ugly you won't be given much opportunities, however you'll be able to make something out of yourself in the future, and look eventually fade away in the future. Pretty Privilege takes effect at the worst time to be alive, where you're judged by your skills but also your looks

Wait toms got a DUI?? I want to see that bodycam😂

Confidence is one of the most attractive personality traits a person can have next to being funny, adventerous, and empathetic. Knowing your partner is so secure in themselves as a person and what they believe in, not just their appearance, commands a certain attention that most people want for themselves. Its all about accepting the best parts of yourself while being willing to work on shortcomings.

@alexandrub8786

Жыл бұрын

Wouldn't person consider people who act confident but shouldn't "cocky"?

@phosspatharios9680

Жыл бұрын

I disagree. An unintelligent and unattractive person acting confident (such as Chris Chan) is easily and widely considered the exact opposite of sexy.

@warcrimeconnoisseur5238

Жыл бұрын

​@@alexandrub8786 That's why most can't do that, most people have nothing or can do nothing that would hit in that confidence spot

@warcrimeconnoisseur5238

Жыл бұрын

​@@phosspatharios9680 That's because he has nothing show, he can't behave like that because there is nothing

@phosspatharios9680

Жыл бұрын

@@warcrimeconnoisseur5238 Precisely. That was my point. Confidence is not sexy, at least not by itself. That's why "Just be confident bro" is a terrible advice, not only because you can't produce confidence ex nihilo, you also won't benefit even if you could produce it ex nihilo.

Pretty privilege is absolutely a thing. When I was in middle/high school I saw pretty people treat people terribly and nobody cared. I also saw people who were viewed as ugly absolutely put through the ringer for no reason. I'd say I'm above average looking and I've noticed strangers being very kind to me. People I knew acting like I'm an icon because I wear a cute hat or have an adorable backpack clip. However, I've also noticed people disliking me and being petty for no reason. I used to have a coworker who absolutely hated my guts because I was thin. A couple other coworkers always gave me a hard time for being thin. I currently have a friend who says I'm pretty and then makes snide comments towards me. In all, good looking people have plenty of admirers. They also have very vocal haters.

I have pretty privilege now but absolutely didn’t when I was younger. I’ve found that as it’s something that I’ve grown into it’s been a blessing in a curse. Growing up ugly and hating myself then at 12 when a 20 something says I’m the most beautiful girl he’s ever seen I’d fall right into their laps. The amount of groomers and pedo’s that have been in my life is frankly astounding. There’s also now being an adult and going out. I get approached a lot which I don’t particularly mind as long as the person approaches backs off when I say I’m taken but there’s also the guys who grope or don’t take no. On the other side I work in the beauty field now doing esthetics and I find I make way better tips when I have my hair and makeup done all cute. Also as you mentioned in the video there’s been the heartbreaking realizations that someone whom I thought was a real friend was just looking to fuck me or otherwise simping in ways that made me uncomfortable. But it’s also something I’ve learned to leverage. For all of the pain and issues it’s caused me I’ve also learned that you can use it to play dumb when needed or to get a bigger tip. There’s absolutely ups and downs but I find in my experience it’s created a lot more downs.

@Duckpencils

Жыл бұрын

I'm sure if we'd switch privileges for a day, we'd enjoy it. I have the brown privilege, so you can enjoy more space and I could enjoy more attention.

I mean that dude who agreed that intelligence is better is definitely capping😭. I can see it brother. He looked at her after she answered, stopped and thought about it for a second, then agreed. Smart man

@beepist5000

Жыл бұрын

We all see it brother. But we dare not speak it.

i have an eating disorder and i obsess over my reflection and i am overtly agreeable and nice to everyone since i feel i am not attractive yet and that i have no other value to anyone. my goal in life was always to be attractive ever since i was 4.

She likes you because of your ability to provide

@beepist5000

Жыл бұрын

Bro shush... let himself stay young and innocent a little while longer.

@OkaySir

Жыл бұрын

right bro, is not like they met when he had no job, i keep seeing you comment, you gotta be one weird looking thing😂😂

Tom dark has gamer privilege

Pretty privileged to me means Genetically Blessed

@gungun5845

Жыл бұрын

yes working out taking care of your face and being fun to be around is genetics bro

@beepist5000

Жыл бұрын

​@@gungun5845 2 out of 3 of the things you mentioned have a huge genetic component governing them. Taking care of you face won't help you pull if you have an ugly face.

@ChristopherJames1993

8 ай бұрын

​@@gungun5845some people actually find it impossible to be ugly though and working out means nothing. Ugly people work out more than pretty people. Sorry but it's a fact.

@gungun5845

8 ай бұрын

@RaionzuKurisu4957 thinking like that is why you're not passing on your genes holy shit bro at least getting jacked first

Kindness, loyalty, honesty, respect, and are some of the other top tier traits in a relationship.

@MM-jf1me

Жыл бұрын

Yes, but if someone thinks a person looks disgusting then they are less likely to want to hang around them long enough to learn those things about them. I think the guy from Gen's video was right that being attractive is what gets your foot in the door, but other factors determine stability.

@user-lh7mt7zo7l

6 ай бұрын

@@MM-jf1me Reminds me of the dude who made "my experience being ugly" and he's an ugly dude that seems chill but almost no girls gave him the time of day. When the video went viral he got a girlfriend soon after. As you said attractiveness gets your foot in the door but I think it's better to meet people irl through friends, hobbies or your job because unlike "dating" apps, where everyone judges on appearence first, real life provides opportunities for people to get to know and like eachother when they otherwise wouldn't. I think this is also why school is so important for making friends. School is the ONLY environment where people with zero common interest can come together and socialise. A lot of life long friendships probably wouldn't have been formed had school not pretty much forced random kids to communicate.

My cousin would also have that "pretty privilege" getting the best things and having the ideal perfect life anyone would kill for But he also gets non stop messages from gay dudes sexually harassing him

@mrboerger1620

Жыл бұрын

That's a big oof

Yo that quick anime insight into Tom's life was wild man 😆

This is why I enjoy the art/craft community. So many artist are beautiful people but we don't really show ourselves off like most influencers need to. We have the choice of letting our work speak for itself and I think that's great. Pretty privilege is absolutely real, I've experienced the positives and negatives of it. All of your points of view on this topic are quite wise and I sincerely hope the guys in your comment section take it to heart. My partner is very attractive but what makes him irresistible is his personality.

@MicroBihon

Жыл бұрын

I have to disagree, as an art community member too, I noticed that pretty people who also can draw pretty pictures gets more attention and followers than other art people do. Pretty privilege is everywhere. I noticed some artist with a lot of followers also draw themselves really pretty. What boils my bitter blood are some of these pretty artist still think they are not conventionally attractive but when I see their "Art vs Artist" meme posts, they are actually really cute! Like jeez wow, if you consider yourself 4/10 then i must be at negative integers! A personal experience of mine was in high school, I was one of those considered good at art, even being in an art club back then. Said club attends art events such as this one street chalk art event I expressed my interest going to. But instead, what they invited of was our pretty girl of the school who cant even do art! There's also a reason why meme posts like Art vs Artists pop off its because people who can do that look hot, meanwhile people like me have to hide behind our personas? Why? Because there's this paranoia we have that once we reveal our face, we get dogpiled on. What's worse is that there's a real fear of a random clout chaser tryna have you false allegation and people will just believe them because "oh they look like a predator anyways". Then followed by a tidal wave of comments berating how you look. Halo effect is one thing but the horn effect (the opposite of halo effect) is on another level of prejudice. Sorry if this comment comes off as bitter, I tried hard not to put profanities in here, but its the bitter truth I've been subjected too, world is unfair and sometimes we feel like we exist not in spite of the prejudice but to spite instead and honestly, if it wasnt for the spite and a current goal of mine i would have taken my life a long time ago

cant relate im ugly

@sleepisthecousinofdeath7395

Жыл бұрын

Are you fat?

@Corasz

Жыл бұрын

Real

@ApathyandAestheticxs

Жыл бұрын

Same

@scriggle3564

Жыл бұрын

Fr

@ProfessionalMusician74

Жыл бұрын

Real

Something that Tom has never experienced.

@flameguy3416

Жыл бұрын

Has Collin experienced it?

@Gxmb1t

Жыл бұрын

damn 💀

@zachmeister1645

5 ай бұрын

Can’t relate, I have experienced it😭

It 100% excists, i just got out of a homeless situation. Because i am attractive, i have naturally very clear skin, even thiugh im overweight it all goes to my hips and butt so i have a curvy figure. I got way more assistance and help. As well as leniency when finding resources

Part of the advantage/disadvantage of being intelligent is something you have to prove/give evidence of but being “pretty” is objectively obvious at literally first glance.

This video took self awareness and I’m proud of you.

As a pretty man everyone laughs at my little jokes even when they arnt funny

Pretty privilege is definitely a double-edged sword and it is legit real. I was acutely aware that I both benefitted from it and was hurt by it growing up and in adulthood. While there were certainly advantages that I enjoyed as a small-time model in my teens and 20s, there were a unique set of challenges that went with that. First, you will have to deal with a LOT of aggro gigachads who feel 100% entitled to your company. I was nearly assaulted in the stairwell in HS by the captain of the football team because he felt he "deserved" me -- and he didn't even know me as a person, it was only for appearances. You will spend a LOT of energy maintaining your social filter and it can be tiring. My primary friend group was mostly art kids and I was seen as sort of an "alternative" pretty girl but that only provided so much of a buffer. I always appreciated people who saw beyond my exterior. One other problem with pretty privilege is that you will deal with some of the most vicious female behavior, and you will not have any right to object or express hurt because whatever privilege you have forfeits that right in the eyes of the future-Karen masses. And for those types of situations, it's only other girls/women who also know pretty privilege and suffered for it who will be of comfort to you. Seriously, females can be absolutely vicious to each other. My mom told me when I was young that "most people are stupid, most people are ugly, and most people have no style" -- and she was in many ways right, but she also ended up being another one of those Karens who thought it was okay to hurt me and essentially groom me to be abused by men because "she didn't have my looks" (her words!). It really fucked me up for a long time. My mom at once held me up as the pretty daughter that she had "achieved" but at the same time felt very free to abuse, because privilege.

It's so impressive the way you have been able to amass a team the way Blair did, only at a much younger age. Props to you, mawma

@bruhgang6862

Жыл бұрын

Blair white?

@poopsock1948

Жыл бұрын

what are you talking about

@thesovgc

Жыл бұрын

@@bruhgang6862 Blair iilluminaughtii

in my opinion its not pretty privilege but ugly disprivilege at least with guys but i think it applies to grills too for example ugly guys are more likely to be misjudged as pedos or such things...

@Gairith

Жыл бұрын

Hahahah so an attractive pedo would be a "hot older guy?"

@cats9994

Жыл бұрын

Not even just that, I likely have autism and am seen as creepy based on posture/facial expression, idk how to fix it lmao

@Gairith

Жыл бұрын

@@cats9994 friend, are you sure your autism is what's making you THINK people perceive you as that, because of hyper awareness?

@michalbabor3519

Жыл бұрын

@@cats9994 yeah that sucks man I've seen many people with realy weird posture due to a type of syndrome and i bet that they wouldnt be treated like someone without the syndrome...

@gungun5845

Жыл бұрын

well pedos like kids because they couldn't get normal women

woman simp for cute serial killers and criminals lol

18:52 That is the exact sentiment I was thinking of while I was listening to your call with Boogie. Make the best of what you have instead of letting it weigh you down

I’m a red headed girl, and have experienced both extremes of being treated extremely ugly, almost inhuman due to the stigma against redheads when I was growing up. After puberty, also with cultural changes I became very attractive to people who are specifically into that hair colour. I wish that trauma would have made me a bit funnier haha. More than anything it’s made me very uncomfortable socialising and I have a bad habit of assuming people hate me upon first meeting . Now I dye my hair darker because I’m sick of it influencing my life, but can’t hide that typical ginger lashes/eyebrows/skin colour. I spend 90% of my time focusing on work because I work in a skill based trade and I excel at it. My personal life is still a bit of a mess.

We talk about this in my neuroscience class sometimes, people that are seen as attractive are hired more often, tend to have higher wages, have an easier time networking, and are (at least subconsciously) viewed as more trustworthy

Yeah, being attractive is an advantage. Always been that way, always will. For obvious reasons. Who cares?

@firesideshats

Жыл бұрын

People who hate themsleves and like blaming other thing apart from there own shitty personality.

@highbread817

Жыл бұрын

I mean there's more nuance, i.e where and when being pretty is more important than personality

@SlashinatorZ

Жыл бұрын

But I wanna give lots of pretty girls hugs n kisses

@N99622

Жыл бұрын

@@highbread817 Autists can make a spreadsheet for anything I guess.

@TylerHolt-hh5cf

Жыл бұрын

​@@N99622 someone sounds bitter.

Tom bluepilling out here

I remember i got called ugly by a pedophile

@craigstephenson7676

Жыл бұрын

You were too mature for their tastes

@sleepisthecousinofdeath7395

Жыл бұрын

They were probably right

@scriggle3564

Жыл бұрын

And that was right after you told them your age huh

@ChristopherJames1993

8 ай бұрын

Id take that as a compliment personally.

Whew spittin facts on not wanting to deal with the process to become a good person

As someone who was sheltered growing up and has low social and emotional intelligences as a result, I really needed to watch this video. I've always known pretty privilege was a thing, and I'm glad to see people talking about it. Watching this has made me more readily accept the fact that I need to work on myself; the only things I really have going for me are my passions/interests and an above average intelligence as others have told me, but nothing else at the moment (attractiveness, interesting personality, confidence, etc). I also have a high degree of self awareness, but I think that's more harmful than helpful to be honest.

It's gutting to hear that even if I was physically attractive I'd still be repulsive for not having confidence & being desperate. How can you blame me? I never got to date girls in highschool & I've been bullied my whole life. I guess I'm fucked & I should just end my life

@cats9994

Жыл бұрын

Same here man. People suck, the one girlfriend I had in hs only lasted like a month

"women don't like desperation." Showing desperation to have ANY woman shows the girl that she is not very unique. If the man will take simply ANY girl, the message that the girl will get is that she could have been interchangeable with any girl and there is nothing in particular that the man likes about her specifically. I believe that is why most girls dislike desperation. It shows that, if any other girl will have you, you would leave her and it would make no difference to you.

@viaerkul

Жыл бұрын

i love desperation!!! its so much better idk why guys think girls like it when guys act like they dont care its the ugliest thing a guy could do

I was a weedy dork in high-school, sort of a late bloomer and yeah I was treated alot differently back then. It was only after University that I really matured into, what I'm not afraid to call, a handsome man. But the gear shift in the way that people treated me was instant, particularly because I cut off my long hair hahaha! It VERY noticeable when you go from ridiculed on the daily to complemented just as frequently, that pretty privileged is a thing. As a man, has it gotten me anywhere? I'd say no. But it has made my day-to-day so much more pleasant.

Careful tom, reality is a dangerous subject nowadays

@NatsumiTakanawa

Жыл бұрын

"nowadays" as if it never was

@enidbark

Жыл бұрын

literally always has been forever

@YodielandInhabitant710

Жыл бұрын

"Her" prostate

@beepist5000

Жыл бұрын

Literally a topic about the shallowness of humanity. Has never not been relevant.

I think an important part of the discussion that seems tangential, but is really important, is that there’s a definite double-standard drawn between the sexes. While it’s true that women are able to look past physical shortcomings in favor of intelligence, humor, etc, the point of them wanting a man to come to them already fully-developed as a person is more often than not kind of ironic, at least with younger people. Because while that expectation isn’t unreasonable, most women tend to be of the opinion that they’re allowed to undergo development while already in a relationship and that their partner should just deal with it, ala, “If you don’t love me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best.” It’s natural to grow together in a relationship, obviously, especially if you’re young, but there’s this warped view of it where if a guy goes through a lot of shifting emotions, it’s because he’s immature, and a woman dealing with it is “emotional labor”. Meanwhile, the same thing with a woman is just how it kind of is, and a guy not wanting to deal with it is, again, because he’s apparently immature Once again, it might seem tangential, but I think it’s an important factor to how relationships seem to work, because a lot of credit is being given to women for not being as vapid as men at first glance, but once you get past the superficial stage, there’s still an amount of privilege women hold in relationships that’s rarely acknowledged, likely because a lot of men are scared to point it out for fear of being ostracized further from the dating pool. It creates a high expectation for men, and an expectation for women to just exist

@DameOfDiamonds

Жыл бұрын

And also, historically speaking, society judged the value of a women solely based on her looks. So if you were an ugly woman, you're basically fucked for life

@beepist5000

Жыл бұрын

They wait at the finish line.

It's best to build confidence outside of a relationship, women don't typically want to help you with that stuff, but it's really hard to feel confident as you get older and older without any relationships or positive reinforcement. It's kind of a vicious cycle.

@topkek4223

Жыл бұрын

Are men helping women become confident? No. No one helps anyone.

@Luna-xr3dk

Жыл бұрын

Why should men help women feel confident? When most women will just use it against them

@beepist5000

Жыл бұрын

The age pill is the worst of them all.

I can only speak from my experience as a woman who`s never been in a relationship at 26,and living in a country and city with a lot of beautiful people(mainly girls). I am introverted,though I can hold my own in a group and I`m usually the one who`ll crack jokes and try to hype people I`m with up. I`d say I`m average looking,a bit overweight but other than that,I try to look presentable. Graduated with top grades,I even speak 4 languages. I put myself out there,both when I`m out and about and on dating apps. I have some traits I like in a guy,like being fun to be around and being able to hold a conversation,loyal...that`s about it. I`ve had talking stages and even gone out on dates,but it never really ended in anything substantial. What I found to be true is mainly what you mention,Tom,in this video. I`d also like to add that,for guys,if they live somewhere where there`s a lot of attractive girls,they`ll also be much more mindful of that,despite the fact they might not look their best or below average for the standard. I`ve also noticed that with even going on errands and being overlooked. For example,2 days ago I had to schedule a meeting in regards to some documents I needed and I waited for an hour outside,while people who came after me(and looked quite beautiful) would be let in with the explanation that it`ll be quick. After that hour,I got fed up,stormed in and that`s when I could schedule the meeting,the room was empty save for the employees. So I`d definitely say pretty privilege is especially prevalent among women and what`s expected of them.

Absolutely real. I experienced it myself as a teenager. I was a pretty chubby freshman/sophomore but towards the end of high school I started to thin out and had a better sense of fashion. The attention change was vastly different.

I'll admit I've got a little bit of pretty privilege. I've gotten free things (only small lol) and good deals before. But I’ve also had guys follow me in stores and been harassed multiple times before. I think it’s real, but I also think that some guys genuinely forget that women are more than what they look like. Of course everyone is different, but just a thought.

I feel like this is a very real thing. I myself am considered a tomboy among many social circles and even been mistaken as some derogatory terms just because I don’t look traditionally feminine. But I’ve noticed something since I do have a more curvy figure when I wear less baggy clothes and people can see that it’s much different, I hear the term “gyat” a lot or “natural bbl” and more people, specifically dudes, talk to me but often only want my body even though I’m still not considered attractive(I think I’m average looking but not bad or anything)in the face but my body is. Pretty privilege is definitely a thing but I feel like it has levels to it that can be played around with a bit if someone is not completely deemed pretty.

Actually my brother and my ex both talked about coming to the realization and fear that people only hang around them because their attractive.

this whole video is just full of the most reasonable and relatable takes i’ve heard on youtube

Psychologically speaking there is a ton of evidence that Physical Attractiveness produces a strong Halo effect and often effects how people perceive someone's intelligence, personality, authority, and trustworthiness. purely looking at it from a scientific perspective it is very real. like its not up for debate at this point

@user-lh7mt7zo7l

6 ай бұрын

It's also the case that women get the halo effect when compared to men where people often assume the worst of them.

LOL. Let's interview people displaying their bodies off in a pool and take them as a representative sample. That situation is kind of self selecting.

My Grandpa always told me, if you’re ugly and you ain’t gonna money you better be funny.

Pretty privilege is the most impactful privilege in life. Its on par with being born to rich parents

Calm down guys he’s having a Twitter moment

Its definitely real and effects how you move in the world even when its not about courting. Without getting into the statistics about pay and education advantages, personally, i was super fat. Then I lost a ton of weight and ended just regular curvy. People SEE you when you're decent looking. They smile, they comment to you in crowds. I swear people feel SAFER with a pretty person than ugly.

@SlashinatorZ

Жыл бұрын

I feel super invisible & even ugly girls never pay attention to me

@outrider8569

Жыл бұрын

Statistically most people do feel safer around pretty people. it's called the halo effect. Doesn't help that especially in movies and most media good = attractive bad = ugly. People look at pretty and instantly subconsciously drift towards a more positive perception of a person. It's why if I told you to imagine a rapist or criminal the first image that popped up in your head is probably a creepy old man and isn't just a normal looking person and especially not an attractive person

I actually appreciate the advice in this video. Thanks Tom!

I enjoy my "Butt Ugly Benefits" meaning. People usually overlook me, and pass me up.

@SlashinatorZ

Жыл бұрын

I feel ugly cause I'm invisible & passed over

@parac0sm0naut26

Жыл бұрын

@@SlashinatorZ How is that a negative. I mean there are Crazy Peoples out there that you just don't want to get a fixed look at you.

@SlashinatorZ

Жыл бұрын

@@parac0sm0naut26 I run into those crazy people anyways just for being authentic. But it hurts that beautiful girls can't see me & even ugly girls never look at me twice.

@parac0sm0naut26

Жыл бұрын

@@SlashinatorZ volunteer at an animal shelter. The same advice I gave my nephew. Focus on doing task, gradually build up to socializing. Also "cold pooling" for prospective dates is an exercise in futility. Involves your circle of friends as unwitting wing crew. Meeting a prospective date thru mutual frens' , or even work acquaintances is far more sensible then Crowd Spotting.

@SlashinatorZ

Жыл бұрын

@@parac0sm0naut26 well I don't know of any animal shelters like that around here, just a few animal hospitals where I'd have to be licensed. Not sure how that would help in any way.

As someone who was shunned and bullied for being anorexic and, frankly, ugly... Yes, pretty privilege is a thing. Between ages 18-20 I changed slowly and grew up, and i was lucky enough to grow into a conventionally attractive woman. I know that some of my successes in life can be partially contributed to my looks. Yes, it has its perks. I'm aware that it makes some things easier. But it does come with downsides, especially when you've seen both sides of the coin. For example, I'm in a physical trade (spray painter) thats male dominated, and often enough I dont get taken seriously because I'm not a man and dont look "dikey" enough to do what I do for a living. I wear eyeliner and mascara, I tie my hair in a straight high ponytail, and I paint cars. God forbid. I'm glad I had those awkward teen years to develop skills and experience in various crafts, hobbies and work before I grew into who I am now. Back then, I would have killed to look how I do today, but those years helped more than I ever could have known.

this is why I like your channels, Tom. You're a very honest person who is definitely not to share your thoughts. I respect that a lot :D

Never thought I would be getting relationship advice from Tom 😭

The thing about just get confidence bro is that you have to fake it till you make it. That’s how you build confidence. It’s condescending to say that but it’s true like you literally have to just be confident bro.

@SlashinatorZ

Жыл бұрын

It's so easy for someone who isn't autistic, lonely, experienced bullying & narcissistic abuse to say. Being confident under my conditions is just delusion, like the delusions of Cyraxx or Daniel Larson.

Dude! You're right. Less pretty men do not struggle as much as women who are unpretty, BUT in the same vein (or vain ha!), men are judged by their height. So it does come down to appearance. I'm not talking about women on dating apps swiping left on guys under 6'. I mean in the real world, shorter men tend to suffer from a lack of confidence, they're often poor negotiators so they earn less and advance less in their career, they don't rise to positions of power as often, and overall just aren't taken as seriously by both men and women. So yeah, appearance privilege affects both men and women. But it's like Daniel Tosh said, being an ugly woman is the same as being a man: you're gonna have to work lol

@ProfessionalMusician74

Жыл бұрын

This is why I rather pursue my career in Pest Control - shoot wallabies and goats all day and can't bother to interact with anyone else

it most definitely exists when i was young i had low self esteem regarding my physical appearance to the point where i was even bullied a bit for it, i had to succeed in school, learn to be charismatic, and be good athletically to even get any respect. but even then girls were still a bit interested but i had to rely on sheer personality as nobody was interested in my physical appearance. a few years later i worked my ass off to improve all facets of my life, i have modeled part time, and i am conventionally attractive obviously there’s people more attractive than iam (not trying to say this in a bragging way just trying to illustrate the point) in the last 2 months i have had over 100 girls slide in my dms, (i do have a decent amount of followers though) i get offered various jobs wherever i go, and people are naturally more inclined to like me, it’s legitimately like switching life to easy mode- it’s that much of a difference. two completely different realms being not conventionally attractive while young i learned how to read people a lot better and know peoples intentions, and character usually very quickly, due to this i have a wide variety of friends as a result and have seen first hand this being demonstrated with them as well, attractive people existing and getting things handed to them, and friends who can’t even exist without being looked down upon by society or being bullied, or even viewed psychologically inferior simply due to their physical appearance, it’s sad but true that this is the way things are in life, and it’s not just physical appearance that gets judged, people are the same way with income, status, and various other metrics rather than who someone is, and their character. idk who will read this but i hope my rant into the void helps lol- life is a game, learn to play it

This was a very wise and humble video, Tom. I don't know why you made it, but I'm glad you did.

Wait, so if people like looking at you more people want to be around you? No way Tom!

i’ve been told that i am but would love to feel it. its kinda cringe sure but it’s true that confidence can change how you carry yourself and people see that

@SlashinatorZ

Жыл бұрын

Confidence feels like delusion to me. I'm not Daniel Larson so I can't just walk into a place feeling like a hot celebrity. I've got too much self awareness & scars from narcissistic abuse

I think our development and surroundings greatly affects this notion as well. What and who we grow up with determines a large part of our mental makeup. Are we someone who was shunned thus took to people who are more genuine and intelligent, or were we the kind who were seen as naturally gifted and was part of that popular crowd early on? To further this, it also can be dependent upon the stage in life in which those things happen. I am a very outgoing and talkative individual on a person to person basis, but publicly I'm very much an introvert. In middle school I was bullied relentlessly but despite that, I had very caring and well balanced friends who helped me through life. In high school I sort of blossomed and became more part of the popular crowd. This was fine because it gave me a different outlook in how to be more self confident, but at the end of the day, those older experiences kept me level headed in who I kept close to me too.

This video was really a wake up call, I need to start getting my life put together. Thank you.

@camkraw893

Жыл бұрын

Little steps bro... Be better than you were yesterday, every day :). That's something anyone can do

@MrGuyYoutube

Жыл бұрын

@@camkraw893 this means a lot bro that’s some solid advice. Shit really starts to get hard whenever you start to overwhelm yourself with trying to do too much at once. Thanks for reaching out homie, you’re a real one.

you come across to us as based. Like no fluff. It’s comforting knowing someone is gonna say what a lot of us are also feeling… seemingly😉 dont wanna look parasocially parasitic or _terminally online_ of course😅but you seem all right.

@Pegarexucorn

Жыл бұрын

could also be both

@beepist5000

Жыл бұрын

Your emojis are speaking miles more than your words, friend. All parasocial relationships are toxic. You don't know these people.

There are actual statistics about how attractiveness of people are viewed in court by a jury and how it plays a role in the outcome. Fascinating stuff.

Straight facts. Im genuinely saying this so bare with me, but I know I’m good looking, but I always had a bad personality. That is my handicap. Im working on it and things are getting better. It’s simple when you find out people just want to have fun and laugh.

Shiny dead things == gold, diamonds 💎 etc. Shiny living things (women) though that can be offensive

thomas you're my waifu

I’m sorry but Tom having his KZread opened on his tabs and seeing 913 notifications I was like, “God Dayum-“

Haven't seen all of it yet, just gotta say that the editing in the beginning made me giggle

"societal beauty standards" is a contradictory statement. beauty is objective, everyone knows this, at least any philosopher worth listening does

@Kamisuitendo

Жыл бұрын

Privilege is based on objectively quantified measures. If beauty was subjective, there should be no pretty privilege

@shekelgangiv3411

Жыл бұрын

@@Kamisuitendo exactly

Probably the most based video you've made yet