Men be complaining about high maintenance women and saying he doesn’t want you getting your makeup, hair, nails done or be dressed up THEN be oogling at women who do. Sis, please realize being with these crusty musty dusty men is a scam

@therealmanifestelle

Жыл бұрын

perioddddd 👏🏽

@heidihu4025

11 ай бұрын

FACTSSSSSSS

@CC-kr3mr

11 ай бұрын

Yes this is 100 percent true. Years ago I told my boyfriend I want a boob job and I made him pay for it. He kept arguing saying no you’re perfect just the way you are big boobs look gross. Why would you wanna do that but I would always catch him checking out girls with fake boobs! They like it they just don’t want to pay for it.

@slayfaee

11 ай бұрын

@@CC-kr3mr ratchet behavior from them 🤢

@aliatianna888

11 ай бұрын

LMAOOOO not crusty musty

I remember I was working as a beauty consultant. A little girl wanted to look at the makeup and her father told her “no, makeup are for insecure women”. This is why you shouldn’t have low effort men’s children. They’re raising some of these pickmeishas.

@tessarae9127

9 ай бұрын

😬😵‍💫😥

@sarahbarabe4990

8 ай бұрын

And you know damn well he knows that his wife wears makeup

@a.b.2405

8 ай бұрын

@@sarahbarabe4990 they always go after women with make up. He just didn’t want to spend money. Plus he probably had that baby out of wedlock.

@JadeFalconer

8 ай бұрын

Yeah but wearing makeup up everyday does make you very INSECURE eventually so STOP being DELULU and understand you still ugly with or without it 🫡

@JadeFalconer

8 ай бұрын

@@a.b.2405Very bias and in-denial are you good or you just a Blondie

“Being single is not a disease, that you need to cure “ 😁 I love you ❤

@tobe-you-tube6612

2 ай бұрын

Cinglé is written with a C

@KnowledgeSeeker78491

2 ай бұрын

I love you, too 🥰

@jennyw9656

21 күн бұрын

Haha…. Some guy just told me on social media to have fun with my cats because I’m “old” and a leftover lol…. My whole value was in my body? You’re not old too?… I sure love my cats, my peace, my adventures… and my singleness, I never knew how much stress, chaos and disappointment men brought until it wasn’t there anymore

There are also men who will pick you with full, make up and high maintenance status, and then tell you to stop wearing make up once you start dating. Run! He just wants to lower your status so that other men won’t want you and that’s very insecure behavior.

@rachelfredell3056

5 ай бұрын

I agree my abusive ex did this. It took me awhile to get comfortable wearing makeup again, but now it feels empowering 😊

@yobafox1jason556

5 ай бұрын

My ex did this. He’d compliment me on my looks then once he “had” me, it was insults day and night about how I did my brows, my foundation, how I painted my nails and he could “do a better job” LLLLLOOOOLLL. He should really go date a guy and be the princess he always secretly wanted to be.

@jameelshabazz25

5 ай бұрын

You do understand that by ultimately not using makeup will create REAL confidence within yourself? You put makeup on in the 1st place to create the illusion of better looks, which for a woman will directly affect her confidence. So if she can learn to have that same confidence, but without the makeup, that will be extremely beneficial for her. Please don't say you have the same confidence without it because that's a lie. You wouldn't spend hours in a bathroom caking your face up with substance and particles that can damage your skin if you truly had the same confidence. That makeup creates artificial confidence. You don't really have it.

@dashed0327

5 ай бұрын

​@@jameelshabazz25 dude its really not deep. I wore the smokey eye bc it looks cute and matches with my outfit. Not to score points. Yall really cant accept we dont wear things for men. Realistically a crop top with jeans is cuter than a baggy tee. It doesnt have to go beyond that. Makeup is fun. Theres whole makeup channels and make up competitions whose target audience are not men.

@jameelshabazz25

5 ай бұрын

@@dashed0327 it looks "cute" and matches with your outfit... Exactly it made you come off as more cute than you initially were. Here's another issue. I didn't say you do all these things just for men... I never said that. You could very well do it for women and yourself too, but it was ultimately for the same reasons

I was getting really mad at a male coworker who has been undermining my work, belittling my ideas and also using my ideas. Instead of being annoyed all the time, I turned on fake tears during a meeting and told them I was working remote from now on. I'm getting paid and I dont have to see any of the people. I rest in my femininity at home, while getting paid and executing my great ideas without his input. ❤ #getpaid

@sapnanayak1453

4 ай бұрын

Oh my goodness. I love this for you. What an awesome strategy. I wish I could strategize the same way.

@perfectionisboring6785

4 ай бұрын

Wish i cud have used this strategy during my internship

@janewick1082

2 ай бұрын

Love this.

@etcwhatever

Ай бұрын

I just stopped going to the office...no more hybrid mode. I do have health problems but i let my womanhood show in the same way. With tears and they give me what i wanted and needed. My life isnt easy and i was also sick of jokes and backstabbing at the office. My disease plus commuting was making me completely burnt out

This video made me love my mum more☺ She's the anti-thesis of pick meisha and even though she never directly said these things to me, from watching her, I always knew she was a girls girl! and a spoiled girlie, she never got mad, she's very high maintenance and I never understood why my dad would always go overboard to please her. As I grew up, I started to notice how much worth she was bringing just by being with him (she's a lawyer and a pretty one) so my dad literally felt so honoured to be with her (he's also a lawyer) and just by being together, he got so many new opportunities in his career. My self esteem is really healthy because she's my biggest fan and she literally wants every woman to win.

@ChaNayNayAnime

10 ай бұрын

My daughter is going to say this about me one day❤

@nlorens

10 ай бұрын

You're so blessed with a wonderful role model like your mum!

@come_on_barbie_123

9 ай бұрын

You are so blessed!!!

@dearines

8 ай бұрын

Yes!! My self esteem is so good cus my mum always told me she loves my dad but as soon as he acts up she’s onto better things. She said men are replaceable. And that’s why I don’t settle for less!!

@purpleflows5680

8 ай бұрын

I love everything you shared💗 Your mom is a woman who blessed other women, including (most importantly) her daughter. I love this for you🥰

Men humble brag about their high maintenance women because it shows other men that they have the money to maintain the said high maintenance woman. He is showing off his money and woman in one smooth move.

@YouYou-sm8tf

6 ай бұрын

True... men see value in showing off their girlfriends or wives. Being seen with women is a value as lots of men are jealous of men getting women easily.

@kalimba5258

3 ай бұрын

I didn't understand the term "humble brag".. could somebody explain it with an example?

@natashadickson4819

2 ай бұрын

​​@@kalimba5258 When he humbly "complains" about how much it costs to maintain the woman, he is actually bragging that he can afford her.

@kalimba5258

2 ай бұрын

@@natashadickson4819 ahhh okay, i get it! Thank you!

@KB-si5fx

Ай бұрын

​@@natashadickson4819I've seen quite a few men do that, and it's kinda disgusting.

Facts bestie! I never dated as a young person because I refuse to define my value based on a no-effort man's standards. I'm in a committed relationship now, first ever at 32, and I knew he was worth my time when he said: "I feel like I found a queen and I want to be her knight." And he does! It is so nice to not have to worry about paying for dates, who's taking care of my dog while I'm working, and having the financial security to pursue my dreams! 🎉 He came into my life AFTER I started building the life for myself that I wanted, AFTER I decided to really push for what I wanted and needed out of life and pushing away what won't help me get there. If you set the standard and direction of your life but you still want a companion through life, odds are the person who is the best match will have the same standards, expectations, and goals and if you keep going on that path, you will find each other. Don't settle for some dusty on the side of the road with nothing to offer.

@therealmanifestelle

Жыл бұрын

period, bestie!!! thank you so much for sharing. im so happy for you

@lulu_luvsu

11 ай бұрын

so happy for you 😍😍

@transitionsnc

11 ай бұрын

Beautiful comment. Thank you. I'm glad you found someone who is worth your time. All the best to you.

@fearless7989

11 ай бұрын

"I refuse to define my value based on a no-effort man's standards" --- I hope it's okay if we borrow this as a mantra and pass it around to all the women we know 😊

@loveisreal7766

11 ай бұрын

Dating young gives you experience and lessons to avoid in future. You have more time to explore what you want and what you don't want. If you find the right person, congratulations 👏. I agree don't settle down for dust. It's better to be single than stay for less. You deserve better ✨🧚🏿‍♀️

Like I’ve always said. “Stop giving losers access.” I could never get behind that.

Don't get mad,get paid Is the best mantra ever , I'm taking it for life

@therealmanifestelle

Жыл бұрын

💅🏽

@kukipeas

10 ай бұрын

yes I agree it´s true. It is changing my life!

@Orangelemon167

7 ай бұрын

​@@devonmatthews8197both

@alisonmercer5946

7 ай бұрын

​@@devonmatthews8197that entails the get paid part

@alisonmercer5946

7 ай бұрын

Or get paid while you are mad

Story time: my ex-best friend (who is a pick mesha) left us (her best girlfriends) for a man she had to chase to be with her. Got an update on her life that the guy is living rent free with her, no job. So she’s paying all the bills, rent and even their high-maintenance dog. All the guy did is taking care of their dog while she’s gone for work. She’s not even making that much money 😅 So ladies, being a pickmesha will surely get you a man but think again. Is that the life you want?

@feliciaboston6365

11 ай бұрын

Her boyfriend is a pimp lol

@BoringTroublemaker

6 ай бұрын

I find it sad that instead of showing empathy for the reasons she may have become this way, you find her unfortunate circumstances funny. When women go off about “pick me’s” throwing other women under the bus to chase men for validation while simultaneously mocking them instead of trying to be supportive or at the very least empathetic, it’s gross and hypocritical. All it does is keep women down by continuing the cycle of women attacking other women. It’s not a good look. Focus on your own life.

@beautifullEternal

6 ай бұрын

@@BoringTroublemakerbye. You don’t know how long this woman has tried to get her friend to understand and listen. Go do that with your mom and aunties. We done with that shit now.

@BoringTroublemaker

6 ай бұрын

@@beautifullEternal displaying empathy doesn’t necessarily mean engaging. It’s entirely possible to simply consider that you don’t know what’s psychologically going on in her mind and instead of being a catty b*tch just shut your f***ing mouth if you don’t have anything nice to say. We all should have learned this in kindergarten.

@jarkachalmovianska7812

2 ай бұрын

​@@BoringTroublemaker never support a woman in her own downfall... by staying with no income man. Never

“I want a woman to build with me” = I am incapable of building by myself so I want her to do all the building, if I was actually building, what I already built would be self-evident

@64___

8 ай бұрын

The brokest men always say this

@rengurenge

7 ай бұрын

If young man say this he is being honest, he had no chance and time to build anything yet but it doesn't mean he will.

@sensimania

7 ай бұрын

​@@rengurenge I've heard men in their 40s say this as well. Those were the dustiest of dust

@leahweinberger583

6 ай бұрын

And they resent the h#ll out of women who help them.

@eulennachathen449

6 ай бұрын

​​​@@sensimaniaYeah, like my dusty ex. He's 40 years old and has been trying to do business for 10 years. And is still struggling (cause he refuses to learn and make smart decisions and wastes his energy on unimportant things). I did a lot for him during my pickmeisha-era. Only to receive bitchy treatment, demeaning remarks and sexual harassment in return. Ironically, he seems to actually respect me more AND put more effort into his business after I turned away from him. 🤷 It's crazy how these things work sometimes. And no, I'm not going back to him, should he ever become successful. He disgusts me at this point and no money in the world could compensate for that.

I had an ex where when I said “I look good in this dress!” And responded with “don’t do that. That’s conceited and makes you ugly” when I say I was stunned.

@leahweinberger583

6 ай бұрын

Glad he's an x.

@RikkiestAndTikkiest

5 ай бұрын

The best part of this story is that he's an ex.

@radioserrelind

5 ай бұрын

My ex, no lie, told me I needed to think about losing weight... after I gained back up to a healthy BMI from an eating disorder. Some men are just poison.

@crystaleunoia3974

5 ай бұрын

It's like a woman having any confidence at all is a threat to them. They use insecurities to control us and bring us lower so we believe that they're the best we can get. I hope you didn't take any of his bullshit to heart. You made that dress look good Babe! ❤

@LoveLife-oo9cz

Ай бұрын

Bro in law is a true toxic. He did not go to work and is still unemployed for more than 10 years. He made my sister work and birthed a few of his seeds. Our culture is shaming women for leaving so she's stuck with him. He didnt even have a HS diploma. He is a very skinny dude and he would tell her fat when she wasn't fat at all, under 120lbs. Some dudes are true toxic. She fell for his gifts at first. Becareful people. There are a lot of red flags to begin with but people choose to ignore.

I was literally raised my entire life to be a pickmeisha and WHEWW! Let me tell you sweetie that mentality will get you stress, crumbs, and empty memories. Being a man’s doormat or trying to be “different from the rest” is only going to backfire TRUST. Men appreciate women they feel they can’t usually have access to. I’ve spent so many days trying to figure out why I was getting less when I would give so much. And I envied women that would never lift a finger for these men and get the world. Thank you for this video it’s much appreciated ❤.

@7Mushrooms7

11 ай бұрын

Same, I'm a reformed pickmeisha and "not like other girls". Now I have an amazing man and a much better life. Caping for men never brought anything good to my life.

@endTHEhegemony_Today

10 ай бұрын

You said It! The resentment i felt for those sitting back and getting the world from guys was so constant and so toxic, because it is HARD for me to relax. Thanks for this comment, and I so appreciate Elle's vid because this is the first time I've felt like I had space to unpack that Resentment toward women who know their worth, and realize that it's that very resentment that's holding me back from loving myself. Protestant household had me believing I wasn't even trash value unless I spent all day doing doing doing and being ' selfless ' The amount of pickme energy in my family is REDICULOUS and it is soo soo so Amazing to be able to see what it actually is, and proudly act my value in front of other women and encourage them to embrace their divine self too!! 🖤💜💙💚💙💜🖤 Thanks for being on this journey too!! You are more incredible than you could ever possibly realize, and you're doing better than you think you are. You have the right to be yourself around everyone and your inherent value NEVER goes down because of what another person (or your own demon) says. 🖤💜💙💚💙💜🖤 Thanks again for being here, yes, YOU!! We are making the world a better place by realizing our value and making space in the world for our own happiness! Shine everywhere, Darling! Be sure to drink water too! 🖤💜💙💚💙💜🖤 Much Love!!

@tffnyc1033

10 ай бұрын

It will get you a thorough mind fuck too 😂

@ms.bubs4fun506

8 ай бұрын

Yep! Desperate energy repels men. As soon as I stop caring about getting a man is when I got a man. Men are hunters, not prey.

@elizabethc5149

8 ай бұрын

Me too 🥺💔 better late than never. I have been so cringey in my life lol

Ugh my mother AlWAYS told me how feminine and loved she was when she was my age by men. Than she always talks about how men are better than women because "women betray you and are so much drama and men get shit done." Im literally standing there like her surrogate husband paying all her bills. Im like "ummm mom you realize im you daughter AND A GIRL?" She's done and said so many terrible things to me. At this point I realize that arguing is wasting energy. I should work on leaving and breaking free before its to late.

@PlatinumDagger

10 ай бұрын

Stop supporting her she'll learn.

@emotionalfrog

9 ай бұрын

I wish you the best of luck in leaving, been there done that. It will get better!!! ❤

@forTheDivine_2000

9 ай бұрын

It would be worse if you were a boy child. Wishing you a happy life elsewhere far away from her

@YamiCassie

8 ай бұрын

My mother has spent her entire life trying to break me down, and honestly, even when I moved out, life improved dramatically for me. Like you don't even realize how much it affects you to live with your #1 hater and that's why I accepted being treated so horribly in life by people. Please get out, these types of moms will get themselves into more financial problems just to guilt you into sticking around and taking their abuse. Like I literally did nothing when I moved out, and my life immediately improved. I also started standing up for myself more. Please take care of yourself, we can't throw a life raft to someone while we're drowning. ❤

@alisonmercer5946

7 ай бұрын

Tell her flat out that you disagree about things and you are not listening to her degrading bullshit. That you are helping her out is enough . Always remind her that u are a woman a nd you are the one helping her financially if you have to talk to her

“ the moment you wake up to your truth, you will get mad”. Yes, yes I’m mad because I drained myself for someone who was bare minimum. And even when he “tried to be masculine”, I was like no no no I don’t deserve it “ no no I know you’re struggling, so let me help you” WHHHAAAT HELP HIM MORE ?? . And then, when he walked away, I was heartbroken and for what and for what? What did I gain from this??? Nada ! And I deserve so much more 😭😭😭😭

@LilLight-jh5dl

8 ай бұрын

U deserve better, him leaving is a blessing lol

@olivegoddess1

7 ай бұрын

100% relate, and that’s why we’re here. I more draining ourselves for below bare minimum low effort men. No more believing we aren’t worthy to be picky and choosy, and NO MORE BEING ATTRACTED TO THAT SHIT EITHER!!!

@lucky0197

Ай бұрын

I can also relate to your story. Very similar to mine 😔. But u know what, it’s all good! Now we know better. We will do better.

Don’t be a pickmeisha, ladies, be a pick-matcha and let him pay 🍵💕 Thanks for this quality content, Queen!

@therealmanifestelle

Жыл бұрын

purr. thank you bestie

@banessa2526

11 ай бұрын

Amen 🙏🏼 to this !!!

@careforjusticealways

10 ай бұрын

Asé🥰🙏🏽

@abelhapedras

10 ай бұрын

ahahahhaa my boy has paid for quite a few matchas I've picked 😂

@careforjusticealways

10 ай бұрын

@StopIgbts get a life instead of trolling on the internet fucking looser

Men conplain about high maintenance women but they desire them SO badly. Ive presented myself as high maintenance looking and as not to experiment on this and men will approach more often be kinder and just generally appreciate you more while looking high maintenance.

@user-we8cf4kh3l

Ай бұрын

What does it mean to look high maintenance though? Just heavier makeup?

@etcwhatever

Ай бұрын

​@@user-we8cf4kh3lnot necessarily heavier makeup. It means classy and feminine. Done hair, done nails, done face.

Story of an aggressive pickmisha: One of my very close friends suddenly turned into a pickmisha by character assassinating me in front of the guy who liked me and wanted to take me out. This guy was very attractive and popular in my university. She wanted his attention and she had to say nasty things about me to get his attention she went as far as slut shaming me. Guess what 😂 the guy came right back to me. No effort. I think pickmishas think that they can manipulate the feelings of a man to get attention by saying they are better. But does reality not hit ultimately? 😂

@LB-uo7xy

8 ай бұрын

So the guy wanted to date someone that slept around because you were good looking? If the slut shaming was for actual promiscuous activities you engage in.

@Orangelemon167

7 ай бұрын

​@@LB-uo7xythat's what you are focusing on 😀

@spacecatmeows

7 ай бұрын

@@LB-uo7xy how are you in this channel and STILL be a pickmesha. get some comprehension skills bestie

@unicorn73212

7 ай бұрын

​@@LB-uo7xyyeah why wouldn't they I've heard some guys say they will put there d in a gas tank if given the chance so why would he care if she's a slut or not? He pretends to not want them but he probably thinks there more convenient to hook up with because they don't usually want a commitment and they won't make him wait around for sex. I don't recommend that these girls act like this though because I tried that in high school too owning the slut label and it only got me in more trouble both of them are pickmes they just don't realize it until they get to be my age and they discard you for a younger model. That's the sad reality of life some women don't want to accept men are not capable of loving women romantically because they don't stay young forever there very visual and even if you do stay with them you still have to keep up with your apperance and let them do whatever the hell they want just to keep them around you. But by this time you will wish they had left you. The guy that discards you is a beta let that sink in the guy that clings to you and sucks the life out of you is the worse alpha male of them all because he will make you feel like your in some kind of gang and the only way out of it is death. Even if all his friends tell him, "that girls out of your league!" He will still stay with her for years and years because he knows his life is over too.

@aren7138

6 ай бұрын

Friend did that to me in highschool and I threw a wallet at her face. Her crush laughed. I admit it wasn't one of my proudest moments but you fuck me over for some guy's attention? Girl...

When I was in my late teens and early 20's I was a pickmeisha, I got picked more than once. After the 3rd time I realized something, the kind of men who'll pick a pick-me aren't worth being picked by. And then I stopped caring. And once I stopped caring if someone would pick me, people worth being with started coming to me to be a part of my life, from friends to lovers.

@JackthePumpkincat

4 ай бұрын

Ew

As a woman of a certain age, I wish I had this information 30 years ago. However, I'm elated that all you young women have this kind of inspiration, and can see your own worth.

@eulennachathen449

6 ай бұрын

Same here. I wish I would have had a sister like Elle 20 years ago. However, It's not too late for us. We have plenty of life left... Might as well enjoy and make the best of it :-)

@katec9893

6 ай бұрын

Me too, this information was so needed 20 years ago. But I'm glad it's at least available now and we can still date with discernment whatever our age.

“Women must seek the validation and attention of men so that they can get resources, safety, and status.” That was such a key thing to note! Its crazy that for us to have our basic needs met, we had to literally make ourselves into something we are not for so many years. Now we are taking our power back and turning the tables to use it for our advantage until we can figure out another system to run the world with!

@hanatirk4375

11 ай бұрын

Yes, this 💯💯💯💯times, we are finally taking power over our lives and some women still want to be pickemes, that's really sad.

"You're making it easier for this man to win in the system that benefits them in the first place" PREACHHH

I actually learned something from this video. Thank you! One woman in the past told me how her ex husband, “complains” to mutual friends about how hard his life is, now that he has a young girlfriend. It’s so much more financial responsibility…blah…blah…blah And the woman was wondering if it so terrible for him, why doesn’t he just leave and come back to her. But that’s just it! He was not really complaining. He was bragging. At the time I had no idea what it was, so I didn’t know how to explain it to her. But you totally nailed it in this video. Well done!

@pilarensi

11 ай бұрын

Yes, I just learned about that too by looking at the video

@ms.bubs4fun506

8 ай бұрын

Yes, I dated so many men that would go on and on about an ex that was spoiled rotten by them but they would run back to that pampered ex in a heartbeat.

I wish I realized this 3 or 4 years ago. If you have to change yourself for someone, they never had your best interests.

@cecilyerker

11 ай бұрын

When we know better we do better

"By having high standards you are protecting yourself from low quality experiences" BOOM! "No experiences is better than low quality experiences" BOOM!x2...I've literally been living this. As a result, so much less drama while all my drama queens are telling me that I'm bypassing my lessons or missing out on the good because I am avoiding the bad. I think I know those lessons from watching them and I have something they still don't have: The ability to appreciate and enjoy the person I am without the influence of others. Took me a while to recognize it but I'm there. I smile to myself because the fact that I'm not chasing men and I take such good care of myself for myself and not for the attention of men baffles them. I like looking at them but I don't need to pursue. It's a great place to be.

My mother is a pickmeisha. She always favored my brothers and kicked me when I was down. Called it tough love. So gross. Great content.

@userNOTfound1-3

8 ай бұрын

Same. I feel you.

@unicorntears6179

8 ай бұрын

Same. My mom let's my lil bro do whatever. And she thinks it's cute that one of my male cousins, who's in jail, found out that he had another son out of wedlock. He has three so far. But if I or one of my sisters got pregnant by some con, she would throw us and the babies out. Ughh

@theaqua1517

7 ай бұрын

Aren't parents supposed to love their children regardless of age,gender or their birth order in the family? Oh who am I kidding ,OF COURSE there are gonna be those bad parents who abuse or abandon their kids. That's no love from your mother , it's straight up neglect and emotional abuse coming from her. You can't reason with people like her

@marlenaeva3813

3 ай бұрын

Same, mine is narcissistic and loves men more than women. I think until I listened to Elle's videos, I didn't realize mom is a pickmeisha who hates women and pedestalizes men. So sad, I'll go no contact with her this year. She has her own cross to bear.

@nmc1859

2 ай бұрын

Same here. Also - My dad always praised how she was 'low maintenance'. He said she has good genes and is better tha. Everyone basically bc she 'doesn't need to spend a lot on hair clothes etc etc'

Millenial woman here (34). I’ve been waking up to my feminine energy and the healing journey I’ve been on for the past seven-ish years. I effing love this channel and in genera love the revolution my Gen Z sisters are leading online. Thank you!! We are together correcting the mistakes of the generations before us and it finally is coming full circle in the MOST empowered way. We’ve only just begun. 😘😘😘

The pickmeisha mother segment really opened my eyes to my mum's weird ass behaviour during my teenage years.... I have this core memory of checking myself out in the mirror and really feelin myself, I had just started receiving compliments for my looks as a teenage girl and it was the only time in my life where I felt really confident. My mum caught me, grimaced in disgusted and said "your philtrum (the distance between your lip and nose) is too long!". I felt so embarrassed I wanted to die (which I now realise is humiliation as the video pointed out). I also came home one day to her standing in the hallway arms crossed, looking at me up and down in a weirdly cocky and jeering manner, I was like what? And she said "I know what you did". That's when I realised she went through my diary and found out about me losing my virginity. Which I also now realise is humiliation... All this I internalised within myself because I literally had no idea what I was made to feel, and over the years developed some pickme tendencies too. This has been incredibly eye-opening and healing... Thank you😢

@teresai1877

11 ай бұрын

It's all about building yourself back up again, healing, and surrounding yourself with positive and supportive people and activities (gym, dance class, reading positive books, watch positive KZread videos, etc.)

@Jennifer_Lewis_Beach_Living

11 ай бұрын

Here’s the sad thing. A lot of issues with mother-daughter relationships are rooted in the mother’s jealousy of her daughter, especially if the daughter is more attractive than the mother. Rather than be happy for the opportunities for her daughter, she resents her and puts her down. As long as you’re focusing on yourself, including building and healing, you will blossom and live your best life.

@cecilyerker

11 ай бұрын

Mothers who value themselves raise daughters who value themselves too

@feliciaboston6365

11 ай бұрын

My parents ready my diary and bashed me for years for it , saying I shouldn’t be born. The worst part is that on the first page it says not to read

@Vickiluv

10 ай бұрын

I’m sorry you went through this, hope you’re ok 😢

I see it with my parents vs with other couples. My parents have always been "50/50" in many ways, and that has lead my mom being absolutely exhausted raising kids, running a house, budgeting, running errands for every single person in the household, helping my father with the business...and never being appreciated for it. Something is always expected of her because the expectations or the standard is there and was set from the beginning and is VERY high. It's honestly really sad, and my father is not a bad person but their relationship is not perfect either. I see other couples where men have "high maintenance women", women who work and bring money to the house, but they also know their worth and to this day are still very much in love. I see them going on trips together as couples in their 50's, holding hands, going to the movies, they look so in love. I want that. I want to be respected and valued and "maintained", not the 50/50 because it drains you and yes, women bring SO MUCH to the relationship yet if you don't appreciate it they won't either.

@EyeGoByFaith

8 ай бұрын

So was it 50/50 or she did more than him?

@LoveLife-oo9cz

Ай бұрын

Whenever the guy tells you 50/50 split in finance, he is a soul digger. I knew the truth long time ago that 99% of time, women end up doing more than 50% and he is enjoying the ride. He doesn't have to pay for her. It's her responsibilities to take care of the kid a-z. How sad! We are nurturers. We are not providers. Don't fall for 5050 scam. Tell you ladies, when I dated my husband. I did not have to pay a dime for meals and entertainments. He wasn't even rich. You don't need a rich guy with lots of money. You need a generous guy who can provide for his woman.

I'm a mostly recovered pickmesha, when I was a kid I would make fun of my sisters long nails to my dad to undermine her and try to make myself my dad's favorite daughter because my dad hates dresses, nails, and makeup. Anyways fast forward 10 years and I wear dresses on the daily and have long nails, not the best at makeup yet but I'll get there one of these days! I also have raised my standards SIGNIFICANTLY and will one day be a house wife and stay at home mom

@therealmanifestelle

Жыл бұрын

👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽thank you for sharing

@cecilyerker

11 ай бұрын

That’s gross that your dad made his daughters compete for his attention and affection.

@houlda3492

11 ай бұрын

@@cecilyerker yeah she needs to apologize to her sister

@neesiexneedsxblunts

11 ай бұрын

For what? She was a Lil mother fucker who knew no better.

@martinwalters8677

11 ай бұрын

​@@cecilyerkerHow exactly is it the dad's fault?

I dont understand women that get jealous of their daughters. Its so sick. I have 4 girls and i love when they are praised and treated well but i would be disgusted, not jealous if a man sexualized my daughters. Id be angry at the male. Not them. I always tell my daughters theyre beautiful, smart, kind, and do not need a male to be complete. I really hope they understand because i chased men and was a people pleaser and it got me into abusive relationships. I can say i never put other women down in order to get male attention but i bent over backwards to make men who gave me nothing in return happy

@Robohead-z6z

3 ай бұрын

When women that gets mad at their daughters instead of the men who sexualized them are disgusting. If I was that type of person I would tell them you’re disgusting for being mad at your girls and not the men who sexualized them. But I’m not cause I’m not that type of person.

Hey Bestie!! I am a female carpenter. I started in 2019. I was a TYPICAL pickmesha. It wasn’t until 2020/2021 that I awakened to this as a wound! I was wounded and hurt and I used being a “chill” girl, who prided myself on being “different than other girls”. Yuck. Now after 4-5 years of being a carpenter, I’m making $42/hr. Getting that BAG. and I refuseeeee to degrade women for my own illusion of “gain”. I love women and now I see pickmeshas on job sites and I want to send them this video!! Like besties… let’s SIT TOGETHER and build. Each. Other. Up. Ignore the table of greasy low effort men and let’s vibe! I have anxious attachment in relationships with men mostly but also friendships on a lesser degree… naturally from the same mommy daddy wounds. I have been diving into it lately and I have committed to myself! to be secure. Act, talk and come off as secure. It has changed my dating game. I used me be that girl like “ya I like fishing, hunting, guns” and change who I am for a man, now I’m like of you want a girl who does all that maybe you should date a dude, and shamelessly get spoiled! I’m always working to be on women’s side. Thank you for your content! I love your channel and vibe ❤️❤️

@Pomagranite167

8 ай бұрын

Period bestie, get that bagggg!

@lilitakasaki7291

8 ай бұрын

Hii! I am really into the carpentry but don’t know how to begin, can you give me some advice please? 😁 As a woman too, I am really proud of you!

@krystinehamre7851

8 ай бұрын

@@lilitakasaki7291 hey! Of course I can do my best to give you a idea of what it looks like to be a female carpenter. I started building houses in 2018 when I was 19 years old. I had about $300 in my bank account at the time and my first job payed $18/hr to do grunt/labourer work, which seemed amazing at the time and it was. After about 6 months I was doing more of the building of the walls and such. There’s a shortage of young trades workers now as well. But back in 2018 I was able to work my way up the ladder because there weren’t enough men to do the jobs they have historically done. So for me that was to my benefit. It was typically myself and a journeyman doing the entire house. Which taught me very quickly how to frame and work confidently with power tools. I signed up as an apprentice right away and I did my first year of school in 2019. Then I returned for my second term in 2022. I am heading into my third year this February. My timeline has been very spread out which is totally okay. You can go faster or slower. To write the red seal/journeyman exam you must have 4 terms of school which usually range from 7 -10 weeks which you ideally attend in annual intervals. During that time you are to accumulate around 7000 on the job hours the exact details are to be determined by your districts requirements. I was non union home builder carpenter (ground work, digging, foundation “cribbing” which is concrete, framing the house, then doing exterior siding, land scraping and interior finishing.) It’s definitely not glamorous. I did this for about 4 years with a break in the middle because I didn’t want to continue. (I’ll explain the reasons why in the cons of being a carpenter) I joined the international brotherhood of carpenters and joiners july of this year 2023 and the money is insane as a 4th year apprentice. The working conditions are better for the most part. There’s more resources as well as benefits and opportunities. So pros of being a female carpenter. Getting your own bag. Confidence builds as you build. It can keep you in very good shape and build your strength (while I still recommend a healthy diet and exercise outside of work). I personally enjoy working very hard and getting shit done. You have a lot of male protection while you create relationships with the men but again that is a fine line and I don’t recommend becoming friends with them and never hangout with men outside of work and give them too many details about yourself and make your instagram private! Building houses was a lot more satisfying than industrial union work. But the money is almost double. Cons: typical patriarchal shenanigans that you have to learn how to use to your advantage. The women in the industry are heavy on the pickmisha game. So finding real women who are kind are far and few between. I’ve never met one, but I’ve been fooled. It’s hard on the body over time, at 26 I feel great I feel very strong and like it’s only building my strength but over time like anything repetitive whether that’s sitting in an office or moving around in the job. (In the union you can branch out later in your career after you become a red seal and get a more “cushy” job. There’s a lot of men and it’s kinda gross and annoying to be around them. Because even one’s you think have your best interest in mind are likely pigs. So you have to really do your self work. It’s not easy emotionally or mentally. You can feel very isolated. You have to find fight and courage in yourself daily. You have to turn on your masculine energy and turn it back off when you want to show up in your feminine. If you want to become a mother, I don’t imagine it would be a very mom friendly career but I’ve witnessed other women do it. Oh and you have to work in all weather rain, snow (here in Canada), sun all of it. Over all it’s been a worth while career for myself and I don’t plan on changing it for the next five years or so, money wise it’s been 8/10. Fulfillment wise it’s been a 7.5/10 Just the fact that I can build just about anything is worth everything for me. Anyways I hope that helps!

I love being a high maintenance, gold digging, spoiled girlie ❤ another great episode thank you Elle!

@therealmanifestelle

Жыл бұрын

thank you, bestie

@JadeFalconer

8 ай бұрын

@@therealmanifestelleWow lifting up professional gold diggers such good value of influence

@pingu3984

8 ай бұрын

​@therealmanifestelle have a good think about this. Is this the direction you want to go in. Are the only two options insecure pickmes or narcissistic gold diggers?

@JadeFalconer

8 ай бұрын

@@therealmanifestelle Embarrassssing!!

@j.o6885

7 ай бұрын

Guy here...I suspected there had to be the female version of the red pill wave...glad I found this.this is pure entertainment..carry on

What about being a 54 year old woman in this world? I know I have been devalued by both my parents all my life and felt used by men.Your videos are like therapy for me. My good self did not even get me bare minimum.

@briantbmoth6472

11 ай бұрын

👏🏾 You be yourself best self.

@amandaspaintinglessons9908

11 ай бұрын

It’s never too late to change!

@cecilyerker

11 ай бұрын

You deserve a silver fox who treats you like the queen you are! If he wanted to, he would!

@Mimi-xv6jm

11 ай бұрын

You deserve for you to treat yourself like a queen. Focus on your own health and happiness, and decentralize men. Being single is a great place.

@kenasssss

8 ай бұрын

Girl, you are young. Pamper yourself & let it come to you.

I can’t believe how many jewels of wisdom you’ve packed into this video. Where did you learn all of this?! I’m floored that I have been trying to figure this problem out in my life for years, watching so many overly academic feminist video essays with no applicable advice, yet it only took you 30 minutes to dismantle all the flawed logic bouncing around in my brain. You are a gift.

@therealmanifestelle

Жыл бұрын

thank you bestie 🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽

@healingpoisonbreak9984

11 ай бұрын

Yes. Ive noticed that Some young ppl like her are very wise at such young years.

@veronikaljungberg7149

2 ай бұрын

This!❤

As an autistic who uses goth clothes as a coping mechanism... one thing you need to remember is that the first step to fix this problem is to leave the middle school mean girl men trying to foster jealousy and competition bs in middle school. Women seek attention and validation from men more when they are bullied or ostracized from friend groups and from other women in the workplace or school. Gotta watch assuming a girl is a pick me because she has different hobbies or interests than you. Gotta watch tearing down other women for any reason.

You popped of at those pick me’s and I’m here for it aha. I thought I was a bad person for not wanting to build with a man. First of all I’m not bob the builder and second if I’m able to build/improve myself on my own without a man, why can’t they do the same? Is basically them saying that they’re lazy and they want someone to build their life to then leaving the woman whom they build with to the high maintenance queen.

@therealmanifestelle

Жыл бұрын

perioddddd

@toriyt2714

11 ай бұрын

I find there are two types of men. One type is inherently motivated on his own or maybe outside world validation motivates him. The second is the man that meets a woman that motivates him. For some men the woman in their life is that motivating factor. She doesn’t have to do anything but her presence motivates. Well there is the last type that are just dead set on being losers with no motivation. But they shouldn’t even count. I think we as women confuse motivating him with your presence with building a man or mothering him. Don’t do that 🤮.

Seriously, you completely fixed my entire dating market within 38 minutes, and I am so grateful.

OMG bestie, I have a really bad relationship with my mother and I always felt like she was trying to devalue me in front of everybody. I always felt like there was something like jealousy and she is very misogynist. Until I saw this video I couldn't understand this mecanism but now I realize that she is a pick me and that's why sometimes she seemes narcissistic. I love you thank you so much💜

@therealmanifestelle

Жыл бұрын

🥺thank you for sharing bestie

@teresai1877

11 ай бұрын

Yes, this is called a "narcissistic mother" .

@lemsip207

10 ай бұрын

Me too. Husband came first. He even picked my name and chose a boy's name. I changed it in my 20s and wish I had done so years earlier. They didn't like it. I have sympathy with anyone who changes their name for any reason.

@WhiteRabbit89

8 ай бұрын

Same here

As a child, I was brought up in an abusive environment. My grandma verbaly abused her husband and my father. She always used this trick on me when I was 7-10: whenever I pointed out her terrible behavior, she would remind me of all the times she gave me some kind of gift. At one point I started rejecting all the gifts from her because I knew she would use that fact to manipulate me. And ever since then I hate when partner/friend pays for my dinner because my brain keeps telling me that they are going to use the same manipulation tactic as my grandma. And this is the reason why I always choose 50/50 cost split. I don't know If I will be able to trust anybody ever again.

Today is such a good day Today I study enough I drank enough water And Elle upload new video ❤

@therealmanifestelle

Жыл бұрын

major slay, bestie

I hate the high maintenance a talk as if we were asking for the moon. Yes I wan to be taken on a date every week, did I ask for a fancy restaurant ? No, let go skating, picnic, biking, to the beach what ever. Just show that you care and that you are willing to put Effort in this relationship. We can sometimes do a home date when it’s raining or whatever . But don’t treat me like I’m your buddy. Same for your outfit you better dress nice when we go out. I am worthy enough for you to put effort and want to look nice in front of me , otter wise we’re just friend.

I love this. The Pickmesha narrative ruined my youth. I thought my value was about the money I brought to the table and how much I would clean and cook. I got used. Pickmesha you are about to get used so change your ways.

Dating is expensive? Right. It should be. Otherwise men would be "dating" a zillion women just to try to FWB them all

@mingfearon

4 ай бұрын

THIS

wait that's so true, when men get rich they go for hot women when women get hot they go for rich men , seems like a mutual agreement except poor chronically online men choose to complain about something that doesn't even involve them

I'm tired of gender theater, and I'm tired of living in markets. I think the best outcome for me personally is to give up on love and focus on something else. This helped a lot. Thank you.

@shadowhunterartemis

6 ай бұрын

Gender theater. I love that.

@DEarls-ye9tz

6 ай бұрын

@@shadowhunterartemis I don't think I came up with that, but I DO think you should use that term... it's not secret that nobody really is their gender, especially not cis people. It's a character we play for other people.

I love you made this video! And I'd really love if you could make a video on this (if you haven't already): I truly think now the best way to reset the dating market is to stop sleeping with men who have not committed to being exclusive with us. The first thing a lot of us do that's "pick me" is have sex with men without securing what we want from them first. I know a lot of us don't want to hear this, and I'm not saying that having sex automatically makes you a pick-me or means a man won't value you, but like you said, men come to US FOR ACCESS. And guess what they want to access the most? Your body! When you have sex with a man, without making him invest AND commit to you publicly, you are basically saying to him: "Hey, I gave you my body already, so now pick me!" And a lot of times, men will try to convince us and will use pick-me girls to say: "See look, she can have casual sex without getting attached" or "She was down for sex on the first night. Why are you so uptight?" as a way to coerce you into getting what they want with minimal investment. But like you said, this is actually a lie. Deep down, they actually desire women who don't give in to them so quickly, and they hit and quit or situationship the girls who do - the pick-mes. If we as women collectively closed our legs, men would have no choice but to act better because they wouldn't be able to get it without working for it. Making him work for it is essentially the foundation of NOT being a pick me.

@therealmanifestelle

Жыл бұрын

ugh this is a WHOLE conversation. thank you for bringing it up

@FoundSheep-AN

Жыл бұрын

Actually that’s how the world worked, in the west too before the artificially social engendered so called sexual revolution of the 1960 Men married young virgins. Our grandmas thought got married before giving themselves to their husband

@cecilyerker

11 ай бұрын

@@CaptainCrunch16In summary, “I don’t chase, I attract.”

@lauramapani3627

11 ай бұрын

The way I AGREE with this! Yes! Absolutely! Let's close our legs.

@pilarensi

11 ай бұрын

I honestly wish that would happen. It would all change immediately!

I’m only 27 minutes into the video and I feel like I was confronted with the truth. And even though it was painful, I needed to hear it because now I’m grateful that I was “ left” by my exes, and in reality this is just an opportunity for me to go from a pick me to realize how much worth I have. I realize that no one’s gonna be picking me then I’m the one who has to pick what’s good for me because I already have worth and I can only get better and closer to my dream girl now that I am alone.

@impostersonly

8 ай бұрын

im proud of you for realizing this. ik truth hurts but im glad u acknowledged this and are going to change to be a better version of yourself.

Holyyyy shit I’m so grateful for the segment about pick me mothers. I realized a few years ago that’s my mom to a T and I have NEVER seen another person talk about it. 💗 YESSS! My mom did “uglify” me, I had hideous round glasses when I was younger and straight across bangs so I looked like a blonde female harry potter. The crazy thing is, in some ways this can be a form of protection so that a father doesn’t SA the daughter 😰 and thus the mother won’t need to compete with the daughter. Literally had this epiphany a few weeks ago so I’m not too upset about it bc I think I would have not made it this far if that had happened to me on top of everything else. YES OMG I did the whole song and dance, pursuing stupid men who thought they were above me. It took one BRUTAL rejection where I was opening up to a man that I was in mad limerence with and he kept saying “you should talk to someone”. I said, “huh, I thought we were talking this whole time, I guess I was wrong.” Literally never hung out with him alone ever again. It shattered me at the time but I eventually realized the whole thing was bullshit, I dodged a bullet. Pursuing someone that acts like they’re better than you is a TRAP! Now he has to watch me live a happy married life with someone who’s 100x better than him. Zero chasing needed on my part, and it’s a symbiotic relationship for sure. I ✨subscribed ✨ literally sooo much wisdom here thank you so much 💗💗💗

The pick me mother part blew my mind ….🤯 In my case my mother not only was sabotaging my relationship with my father …. She was also putting me against my two brothers and favouring them over me . I was a pick me too for those reasons as I just realised from your video ….

@suchaleelim

11 ай бұрын

Same here, besties. I’m blessed to find this channel.

@mariaiordanidou8112

11 ай бұрын

@@suchaleelim we got this girl !!💖💖 wish you well 🥰

@suchaleelim

11 ай бұрын

@@mariaiordanidou8112 Thanks for your reply. Let’s spreading love.

@feliciaboston6365

11 ай бұрын

Sadly, same

@loltka

8 ай бұрын

😢😢 my mother is not a bad person but someone dealt with a bad hand and that was extended to the children where I was the only girl and felt the pain of what it means to be a women in my faith

I love my mom... she told me I had beautiful eyes and natural beauty. Its a gift that keeps on given. It gives you self confidence for years.

Take it from someone who has made some mistakes when she was younger: if you spend all your time asking yourself "how do I make myself into someone it is easy for men to like?" and not "do i like this particular man and will this relationship meet my needs?", you're going to wake up one day realizing that you were so busy being grateful that someone chose you that you didn’t even think about whether or not he is someone you would have chosen if you felt like you had the right to be picky.

After my first ever date, I withdrew from the dating market and I'm 100% focused on becoming my own dream girl and doing the things I've wanted to do that I put on hold for all the wrong reasons. So glad I found your channel to help reiterate how important it is to feel good within myself, about myself and how to treat myself better by having standards and boundaries in place. Not only for romantic interests but also for family, friends and acquaintances. Thanks so much!

@loltka

8 ай бұрын

Girl are you me cause that is what I am doing with the help of Jesus

A man had the audacity to tell me he wants "a low maintenance girlfriend...". I replied that he cannot afford a girlfriend and should stick with his wife. This is a great video. I hope young women find it quickly and stop engaging men trying to cut them down to size to fit them, from a low vibration position.

@feliciaboston6365

11 ай бұрын

Wait what? He’s cheating on his wife ? Lol

One time, my grandma asked me in front of my then boyfriend (who she was meeting for the first time) if I had stuffed my bra. She has since died of natural causes. Don’t embarrass your daughters like that.

When I think of love, I think of when Chandler tells Monica that she is high maintenance but that he enjoys maintaining her.

Ngl, it wasnt until recently I stepped into my spoiled girlie era. I never fell fully into pick mesha mode but I could have and after watching Just Pearly Things and other pick me’s…I decided that this is not the ideology I want to subscribe to. I chose the lane of realizing and cultivating my self-worth while at the same time uplifting women. There is no hate, but I have boundaries and a strong belief in supporting my besties💖💓💗

“Why are you lowering yourself to gain access to a man who is using you?”

We live in a crazy world out there . No matter what you do people will always have something to say ,you will always be judged. Living to please others will only make you miserable in the long run so the best thing to do is to try not to care about how others think of you

I am a girl’s girl and have pick me girl best friend for the past 6 yrs and your content is helping me evaluate my life so much. I still have a long way to go in becoming a spoiled girlie completely but it feels nice to get started. Thank you so much bestie❤

@therealmanifestelle

Жыл бұрын

thank you for sharing bestie 🫶🏽 im rooting for you 👏🏽👏🏽

This reminds me of that one content creator who advocates for men's rights. I forgot her name but she has really dark hair and tattoos and she's overly aggressive. I remember I saw a short from her where she expressed that a ring doesn't matter and even if he gives you a ring pop you should be grateful for it. If a man bases the value of our marriage of a ring pop I'm not going to marry that man. And you could easily make the argument of "Why are you basing a ring in general on your marriage" - But this is what human beings do naturally. Literally everything is transactional. You cannot escape that reality. A man shows his love through his actions, and if his actions dictate giving you a ring pop over a decent real ring despite understanding the context of marriage and symbolically how important rings are for many women within marriage and society, then he doesn't get to marry me because it shows me that he's low effort when it comes to me.

I had a guy who I thought could be my friend in college, but he was complaining about a girl and his complaints were invalid as he was being the asshole. I was brutally honest and told him that him being single was a him problem and the he knew how he was fucking up or he wouldn't know what to complain about. Our friendship ended LMFAO 🤣 And after this boi said he like when people were honest with him.

You don’t know how much hearing this gave me clarity in a dark time. I can’t thank you enough. Please do part 3.

@therealmanifestelle

Жыл бұрын

thank you bestie 🥺

I've only dated 1 person in 22 years & that even didn't go well. I like my own personal space in 2023 I ain't trying to date anyone, I'm just sticking to books & working.. but y'all do deserve happiness!

Elle, never has an influencer inspired me more!! God bless!!

@therealmanifestelle

Жыл бұрын

you bless me, bestie

Exactly!!! Many 5050 girls are in trouble in the end. those women can't even ask their male partner for help, and also those men don't care about their girls' troubles cuz they think IT'S THEIR PROBLEM, NOT MINE. And then, those 5050 girls go insane

i had to pause the video and cry. I just realized one of my girl friends is really a pickmiesha and humiliated me in front of my bf 😔😞

@chaoticgoodies

11 ай бұрын

Don't cry for that hoe. Now you know, ❤😊

I just stumbled on ur channel and by the 3rd video I was chanting “Don’t Get Mad Get Paid.” along with you. Thank you.

I praise the universe every day for having a mother who was always giving, elevating and building my confidence instead of competing 🙏🏻

Realizing my self worth has made me so confident and so strong. I went from a pickmeisha to a high maintenance women. I have never been happier. Accepting my femininity and myself changed my life.

This was an AP level, Ivy League lecture bestie. 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

Sadly, a lot of women I know who are pickmeshias, especially on the financial part. A lot of men in these couples I know are 50-50 even the woman is in her entry job, mid-career or in a different industry that dont really pay much. It is horrible to see honestly and those women look so used and exhausted.

Your videos are literally helping me heal from betrayal trauma from my husband’s infidelity. They are giving me strength to demand better. I can feel myself growing more confident each day. I’m going to leave him. I’m going to pick me and stop chasing after these BELOW BARE MINIMUM LOW EFFORT MEN.

I feel like Justpearlythings is the PERFECT example of how being a pick me will never get you what you want, and will ONLY serve men. Her content gets shared and celebrated by low value men with podcasts connnnnstantly. And yet? She's still single? No one has picked her? All thats happened is men are using what she says to hold up their own shitty views and weaponize her against all other women. As if to say "see, one woman agrees with us, so you need to follow our insane rules too." 🙄 The only thing that being the ultimate pick me gave to justpearlythings is 15 minutes of infamy and a ban from every platform lol

I am beyond thrilled to have come across this Channel it’s like I’m becoming free

Being 5050 is like going to a Taylor Swift concert, but wanting Taylor to pay YOU 50 lol

Pickmeishas tend to be insecure women who were secretly jealous of the attractive women. Pickmeishas know their looks is not what is going to keep their man around they so bash other women with the same qualities they desire. They also dont like single women because they see single women as a threat to their relationship even if that single woman may not be looking for a relationship or marriage. She is a threat to the pickmeishas relationship. Pickmeishas have no choice but to bash other women because it makes them feel superior something they will never obtain from men.

If a men cannot even pay for the date he arranged. It means he is going on tomany dates for gettin lai and now when it is your turn he doesn't have enough money to pay. So now he wants to be equal in hopes to get free sags.

Pickmeishas are the definition of "Cool Girls" from Gone Girl.

As a recovering Pickmeisha, who has been working at this and relapsing and recovering on repeat for years, I just want to thank you. So much. I've worked on myself a lot over the last 7 or 8 months after my last breakup, but about 30 minutes into the video, I realized I had to stop being friends with men. The fact that your step 3 a couple minutes later was "stop being friends with men" was so spot on. I'm talking to my bestie about this as I'm watching and I was naming literally any male friend I've had. Ugh, even the good/trustworthy ones! I haven't been dating but this got me to delete Bumble after having it for a few weeks so thank you. Xo To confront your flaws is to confront the fact you still have a lot of work to do with healing from how you were raised. I had a not present dad and a pick me mom who constantly compared herself to me. I happen to be at a point in life where I'm having to live with them and it's like living inside my traumatic memories from childhood. I'm working on getting out, though, so, thankfully men are not my focus and finding safety and healing for myself is. I've been getting back into manifesting but the mother/father wounds are really holding me up when it comes to self worth, value, and believing I deserve something good. This video was a good nudge for me on that journey already.

Bestie you made some great points! I feel like I have some clarity on how I’ve been treated my whole life from past pickme friends (being shaded for caring about my makeup and hair). But the thing is, I never put on makeup with the intention of trying to attract a man. I did it because it made me feel good and raised my vibration! But let my pickme friends tell it! I was the most shallow and vain girl they knew. All the while they where just projecting internalized misogyny. What a mind twist 🙃 But anyway, I feel you just gave me another key to my healing 💖

@therealmanifestelle

Жыл бұрын

🥺thank you for sharing bestie

I'm a recovering pickmesha 😭 in a sense, I'm still having trouble estimating my value ( or worth ) after this video but that just means that I need to work on myself more to be able to be confident in what I'm able to offer just by existing. Can you please make a video to remind us girlies what we pour when we're in a committed-relationship with a man? Or more on warning us girlies against bare-minimum effort men? ( For the girlies that say we're taking advantage of these men financially 😭 )

@cecilyerker

11 ай бұрын

The right man is not going to be worried about being taken advantage of financially, because he will be a good judge of your character and also be happy to provide for you because you’re his priority.

@jinaolen786

11 ай бұрын

Your worth isn't something that can be measured, it's simply demonstrated by how much happiness you derive from your life choices. While you're working on bettering yourself, you wait for any man that comes onto the scene to demonstrate why you should give him your time, because it's the most precious thing you have.

Oh shit, I always wondered what it was. My mother is a pick me, she is, or was, she’s not dead. A beautiful, showgirl rocket but yet still a pick me. I always felt a jealousy when I was a teenager and even now at 58 years old, she still doing the same thing trying to devalue me and make me feel ugly especially if there is a man around, she always talked about how high her self-esteem is it really she doesn’t have any. I’m sorry mama. I love you no matter what but I’m glad I became the woman I became without your help.😢

If we look 👀 at history - originally men wore high heels 👠 for horse riding and bc a French king 🤴 was short. Women copied, and men in reaction took off their heels permanently. Then told women their wearing of high heels 👠 was frivolous!

This need be shown to girls in middle and high school.

I can not distress how much men say to me my bar is too low when it was already in hell so low! The more u give the more they ask. Being a pickmeisha will be NEVER enought to them. They will drain u to damn d*ath and after will still said u wasnt enought anyways. no effort is enough for those who doesnt deserve any effort! never forget that!

i spent a long time not being able to identify as being a woman from sexual trauma, ur videos are so helpful to learn things i’ve missed out on and how i want to be ! ❤

I love so much your way of speaking and explaining things, I feel like I'm in college with my favorite teachers who are very intelligent and can explain complex things and put it in simple examples. I study Sociology and all the things and social problems you explained are right, thank you for share this informations of scientific social articles in a format of content that is accesible for everyone! 💓🌷✨🌺💞

@therealmanifestelle

Жыл бұрын

thank you for attending class, bestie 🫶🏽🫶🏽

I feel like this video called out a really close friend of mine. I didn't realize her behaviour aligned with the word "pickme" but she really centres her whole life around men, berates other women and is absolutely miserable emotionally and mentally.

This video has me subscribing!! A dude tried to no consent me and I actually liked him up until that point. It was my great awakening after 4 years of being single and not dating. This dating world has me in hermit mode building up knowledge on today’s men. I’m glad I lost him then threw him back to the streets when he came back. I think he is a great guy, but just not the guy I want to support with all that I am. It’s hard to find someone I can love.

i‘m a recovering pickme who used to think she was a strong, independent 50/50 kinda gal. needless to say, it took me a neckbeard type of no effort guy who tried to pressure me (19, asexual) into sex after THREE WEEKS of knowing each other, to take a breath and think about my standards. i‘m glad i found this channel, because i now realize that yes, i WAS objectively out of his league by miles, no man just „deserves“ a chance, and just taking whoever gives you attention will get your hurt. they should be grateful for YOUR time. when i finally told him to get lost, i was so anxious about being „rude“ to him. to the guy who said he‘d like to SA me. yeah.

i need “don’t get mad, get paid” merch asapppp

@Pomagranite167

8 ай бұрын

Well it exists now bestie!

Recovering Pickmeisha! Working on myself to living and treating myself better. Thank you bestieeeeeee

the more money i make, the more i get mad that people refuse to spend money on me

This is important even for siblings, uncles, dads. If your non relationship males are low value men, dont mix with that energy. I just relaeased a sibling energetically. He was contaminating the masculine energy pool im surrounded by. They negatively imapct you too. Especially if they are always devaluing women and subsequently YOU! ❤

I love the analogy that a woman’s value in a relationship is akin to the value of an employee’s contribution when they get a raise: unseen but 100x the worth of the raise 👏

I feel like pick me women who have sons become the toxic boy mom. They want their sons to pick them so bad since their actual partners don’t.

I have always been overlooked and passed up because of pick me girls my whole life, because they literally throw themselves in every way possible to any available man who is a decent catch, or even just for the competition factor, and they will use all the tactics, they pull out all the stops....needless to say I've been celibate for 7 years, I figure when the right guy comes around, he won't be so easily distracted by a pick me girl

@bloodmajesty414

5 ай бұрын

Sure the pickme's got the guy -- but those guys are usually in their feminine energy mode. Aka he is the "spoiled girlie" in the relationship and the pickme is literally working herself to death to spoil him. You are not losing anything sis. And you really don't want to be in a relationship with a feminine energy man -- no matter how good-looking he is because it feels very unnatural and like living with a very bitchy, aggressive housemate after the honeymoon phase end.

@j.sony.

5 ай бұрын

@@bloodmajesty414 lmao, yes!! Where have all the cowboys gone? Lol

You are so smart. You think about everything. Thank you for that message at the end. The fatigue is real