Parents have asked me over the years, what are the most important factors that I need to keep in mind as I fulfill my role as a parent in the 21st Century? I would suggest a few things:
1) Values. We can teach our children all different sorts of traits and skills, but it is only values that are really going to last. Identify them, live them, and name them. If a child has done something kind, by opening the door for you, or carrying the groceries, name it, ‘you are being really kind right now’, and that way the child can make a link between their behavior and their values. Values are critical.
2) Don’t protect your children. Our role as parents is to guide our children, to mentor them and to prepare them for the future. If we are constantly hovering over them and managing every difficulty that comes along in their life, we are actually not preparing them for a future that may be full of struggle and full of difficulty. So, use childhood as a training ground for adulthood where they are being inoculated with anxiety and struggles.
3) Don’t allow electronics to lower your child’s emotional intelligence. We are finding children are becoming less emotionally intelligent and I do believe electronics play a big role in that. So as a family, really make sure you have a healthy relationship with electronics. Do not see them as something that is not carrying a set of values and interfering in your family relationships and dynamics. Do you spend time talking face to face, heart to heart, eye to eye with your children, electronic free?
So those are things I would consider as we move forward into the 21st century. Values, not over protecting your children and really making sure they are developing a healthy relationship with electronics.