It's so intense how cancer gave Hank both John's hair and his anxiety around death. XD

@knate44

Ай бұрын

The puff levels got nuts

@MisterCynic18

Ай бұрын

So curly hair correlates with anxiety. Must investigate further.

@covidfeverdream

Ай бұрын

@@MisterCynic18I have anxiety and curly hair. Too much of a coincidence. 🤔

@519Majestic

Ай бұрын

@@MisterCynic18 can also confirm with personal anecdotal evidence pertaining to my own curly hair and high anxiety levels.

@minislag

Ай бұрын

I have anxiety and am bald, but I used to have kind of wavy hair of that counts as curly, idk?

Hank's here because he's here 💚

@jon1913

Ай бұрын

That is somehow more dour than the original.

@conorordo7641

Ай бұрын

Because he's here because he's here!

@vladtepes97

Ай бұрын

Why are we here? Because we're here; Roll the bones. Why does it happen? Because it happens; Roll the bones.

@General12th

Ай бұрын

We're here because here we're.

@ajh0198

Ай бұрын

Why is this making me cry

WE'RE DOING IT! -John, at the end of a long day of press and before a long day of press

@Windows98.

Ай бұрын

Good luck John ❤️

@llamadramaramadftba

Ай бұрын

Rooting for you both, we love you! ❤

“Bugs are different from fish.” I want that on a tshirt and I want the profit from sales of those shirts to go to the foundation to decrease worldsuck

@sara-ww8eq

Ай бұрын

I would buy that shirt!!!

@nilabjachattopadhyay2942

Ай бұрын

I was just going to type out the same thing but I knew nerdfighters would have similar ideas!!

@oofmydude8173

Ай бұрын

Yes!

@tessiepinkman

Ай бұрын

I'd buy it immediately if it was available!

@jonathansue-ho7506

Ай бұрын

Bees are fish, though, per CA case rulings?

Hank: Bugs are different from fish Crawfish: ...... am I a joke to you?

@pannercakes487

Ай бұрын

Shrimps is bugs

@Comment_Leaver

Ай бұрын

@@pannercakes487Lobsters and crabs are also bugs

@DrewNorthup

Ай бұрын

​@@Comment_Leaver Lobsters are the physical manifestation of the spirit of "eff u" in crustacean form.

@3countylaugh

Ай бұрын

​@@Comment_Leavercarcination for all! Become crab.😂

@ace.of.space.

Ай бұрын

+

“I know you’re overwhelmed, but look, we’re doing it!” Is basically my life’s motto

@levilukeskytrekker

Ай бұрын

+

@evercuriousmichelle

Ай бұрын

+

@elainebelzDetroit

Ай бұрын

That's basically our motto where I work.

@Idefilms

Ай бұрын

+

@IrisGlowingBlue

Ай бұрын

The spiritual opposite but equal in tone of "Take it easy, dude! But take it!"

"Are these questions for my therapist and not my KZread channel" Yes. AND. Hank, thank you for sharing part of (not all of) your journey with us. I can't tell you the transformative effect it had on my understanding of, and perspective on, cancer. And I know I'm not the only one 💚

@elainebelzDetroit

Ай бұрын

Also would be a good t-shirt. (See the "bugs are not fish" t-shirt discussion.) The "Yes." could go on the back.

@mariannetfinches

Ай бұрын

So much this

the anniversary effect is so real. this time of year is always hard for me because it was when i was hospitalized for my eating disorder, and every year the weather warming feels like impending doom and dissociation and loneliness all rolled up into a big ball of discomfort. BUT, every year, it gets less and less painful. you’re meant to remember, man, be so fucking proud of the self that went through what you did a year ago to become the self you are now

@geeksdo1tbetter

Ай бұрын

You got this!

@IrisGlowingBlue

Ай бұрын

@darkacadpresenceinblood

Ай бұрын

last sentence hit hard, hell yeah all our past selves should be appreciated for allowing us to be here

@HzizsVynryn

Ай бұрын

Hopefully you're doing alright now! I never used to be affected by anniversaries, but starting a few years ago (probably a correlation with adulthood BS) I caught myself feeling extra emotional or conflicted on an anniversary day. I couldn't recall the date otherwise, but my brain remembered those numbers and pulled up associations anyway. My friend has the same issue, but hers can be more intense. Some days she literally needs the whole week to let the feelings pass. Our brains are too smart for their own good sometimes.

@flawedmind

Ай бұрын

I’m sorry this part of the year isn’t good for you, but know you’re definitely not alone. There are definitely people with bad anniversaries. My example is that my dad died right before Christmas 2015. That year, I really needed all the trappings of the holidays to get me out of my own shakiness and sadness, and that time of year has been sad and really needing the holidays ever since, but the sadness lessens a bit every year. Christmas and Yule have become my favorite holidays.

I teach preschool and my students LOVE my awesome socks!!! They call me out for wearing my "boring" ones now. Thank you for making everyone's day a little brighter.

@waffles3629

Ай бұрын

That's awesome. The nurses at my neuros infusion center love my socks. Which aren't all awesome socks cause my sister gets me wacky socks for Christmas every year (I love her).

I am so thankful for the Green brothers

@LoganRexus

Ай бұрын

Same. I’m even thankful for Dave

@athomist

Ай бұрын

Me too. They make me hopefully for the future.

@TheRockybulwinkle

Ай бұрын

I’m even thankful for Jarod

@GarnetReign

Ай бұрын

Every day ❤

@gardenboots7464

Ай бұрын

VERRRY!! 💓🔥

I went into remission from my stage III Hodgkin's in 1990. In 1996, after my oncologist had kicked me to the curb, and told me to run free and play, I stretched my arms over my head. Then I reached back to massage the back of my neck, and on my upper right shoulder was a hard, immovable lump, the size of a grape. For the first time, I understood the literary phrase, "I could feel my stomach sinking," I went to my doctor, who ordered a chest x-ray to include the neck. She also ordered blood work. All the doctors who looked at the films said it was benign, including my old oncologist. Apparently, I must have had some kind of inflammatory response, and that lymph node went nuts. They offered to biopsy it, but they thought that it was unnecessary. The node has since shrunk to the size of a raisin, and is softer and rubbery, but it's still there, still fixed and immobile. They x-ray it every 4 or 5 years, just for laughs, but it doesn't seem to be doing anything. Every time I touch it, though, I ask, "Has it changed in any way?" I think every cancer patient in remission gets these moments of doubt.

@SaukaKumagae

Ай бұрын

+

“Why am I physically incapable of enjoying this?!??”

@user-ec3rm9wr1n

Ай бұрын

I'm glad he's healthy now ....

@nicklas7377

Ай бұрын

That really reminds me of how I once heard depression being described. When you experience something and logically you know it should bring you enjoyment but you get just nothing. Not saying that Hank is depressed of course but I was just reminded of that.

@nottelling7438

Ай бұрын

​@nicklas7377 I remember when I determined that I had depression. I went out dancing that night. I did not experience the level of enjoyment that the situation warranted. I think that was late 2015, near the beginning of a rough half dozen years. Eventually, I found the right the right combination of medication and life circumstances. I got back to feeling better again.

I actually got diagnosed with stage 2A Classic Hodgkin’s lymphoma in december. Currently have two more sessions of chemo left. I’m only 22, but i’ve been a fan since I was 12. it really helps hearing this hank. much love to you

@pinktribble

Ай бұрын

Sending you lots of healing vibes. ❤️

@sunshinelavender5889

Ай бұрын

Sending you thoughts of recovery ❤️‍🩹

@lindagribanovskaya9593

Ай бұрын

@@pinktribble thanks so much

@rachele5751

Ай бұрын

Good luck with your treatment! You’ve got this 💪 Sending healing vibes from 🇬🇧❤️

@Janne_Mai

Ай бұрын

Good wishes from me as well! ❤

"Am I a fish now? Was I a bug before?" is such a good lyric. Hank would be a great bedroom pop musician.

@GeeEmOh

Ай бұрын

I don’t think he’s written a song in years! He should again!

Hank, for the past few years, one of my comfort phrases has been "All Moons are temporary." I don't know if you and John even remember saying that on your podcast, but I cannot tell you the way those words have entered my lexicon and been a comfort to me. All Moons are temporary. Bugs are different from fish.

My mom just got cancer again. Feels a bit better hearing you talk about beeing cancer free and also the possibility of a realapse.

@Janne_Mai

Ай бұрын

Aw shoot, that sucks. Best wishes for quick treatment. ❤

@-Teague-

Ай бұрын

I really hope everything goes as well as it can for you and her ❤️‍🩹

@maremlopez6046

Ай бұрын

sending you a giagantic hug and wishes for quick treatment and recovery 🫶🏽

@shadowbladebruh1

13 күн бұрын

Praying for your mother, bro. 🙏🏾

I'm glad that Hank is Hank.

Could we get maybe some little videos with the artists talking about the sock designs? I’m always so curious what the inspiration was for them each month.

@louismyers8845

Ай бұрын

++

@ciarasookarry

Ай бұрын

+

@Idefilms

Ай бұрын

+

@mariacargille1396

Ай бұрын

++

@osmia

Ай бұрын

+

Mum learned about hers around the same time Hank did. I couldn't bear to look at the studies directly, it was too painful. But Hank spoke about what he knew, and what he had learned, and through him it was easier , no easier isn't the right word. It was the only that I found to be possible to learn about what mum was facing, without disintegrating from the inside. At the time we feared she had weeks left. She left us in December, but we managed to have some precious time together. Hank, thank you what you did, the bravery you showed in sharing, and know that at least for me and my family, it was helpful, it was vital. I'm glad at least one of you made it out alive.

@geeksdo1tbetter

Ай бұрын

May her memory bring blessings.

@flawedmind

Ай бұрын

I’m sorry for your loss and pain.

Are these questions for my therapist and not my KZread channel? Yeah! But they're questions we're having too, so thanks for asking them anyway. ❤

The slow morphing of Hank into the eschatological anxious John is truly wonderful to witness

@Idefilms

Ай бұрын

And let's not forget John's continual growth into becoming the Science One ™️

@elizabethmunroe3676

Ай бұрын

Gosh, that's who Hank reminds me of.

@Ajfmaizy

Ай бұрын

Meanwhile John is talking about old old sciencey books on a visit to London

@jennahj_

Ай бұрын

I see the similarities, but let’s maybe not celebrate someone developing new mental health challenges in response to a traumatic illness.

@elainebelzDetroit

Ай бұрын

No! It's not! I wouldn't wish eschatological (or any) anxiety on anyone! Unless you just mean "wonderful" in the sense that it's causing wonder. (Geeky content warning: Also, I know what "eschatological" means, but as an Episcopalian and theologian, I don't get why a fellow Episcopalian would have anxiety around it - other than just having anxiety around everything? I don't even think process theologians are *anxious* about it.)

I’m 9 years out from cancer and I still pretty much think about it every day, and honestly that’s okay. It’s a big thing that happens.

The PTSD and anxiety around cancer may never go away. I’m in my 4th year of remission. Was diagnosed during Covid times. I can relate so much to how you felt at the parade. I went to the park the day after I was diagnosed. All I could do was cry because I was watching everyone else “living” and I felt like I was nearing the end of that opportunity. I still “celebrate” my cancer free day. And there’s probably not a day that goes by where I don’t think about cancer. Being a survivor is one of the most bizarre experiences. You’re thankful that you survived but also constantly terrified that it will come back and also feel incredibly guilty because not everyone survives. All of this to say, I hope you get to a point in your journey where you’re not experiencing so much anxiety. 💜

@rosephinebakerson2701

Ай бұрын

Thank you for sharing. I'm glad you survived. From one to another - fare thee well.

@geeksdo1tbetter

Ай бұрын

And many returns of the glorious Cancer Free day!!

I have been brain cancer free for 7 years as of April 1st. I have been ovarian cancer free for 1 year as of March 1st. The sickening juxtapositions, the What Aboutism of the potential for a future re-diagnosis, the white-knuckled fear of the abyss...it doesnt go away. Having been through this twice now, for me I normalize to it. Like living by the ocean or near a highway, the ambient worry that is the soundtrack of my mind becomes a little easier to tune out. A low hum but for rush hour and high tide. Sometimes even pleasant in its constance. Thank you for sharing. We love you in a way, Hank.

@geeksdo1tbetter

Ай бұрын

rush hour and high tide, that's beautiful

@polyanima

Ай бұрын

+

@divergentdreamer

Ай бұрын

Congratulations! We learn to live with these dates, these memories, these knowings. As of March, I am 15 years past my first cancer diagnosis. This summer, I will be 12 years out from when I was finally released from the hospital following my second diagnosis. Every so often, I remember that I am not supposed to be here, not supposed to be alive given the statistics. Some days, I remember the friends I have lost too soon. But mostly, it begins to fade away from my consciousness, even though my diagnoses and consequent health issues shape so much of who I am. In my experience, the dread dissipates. We're here because we're here.

@rosephinebakerson2701

Ай бұрын

@divergentdreamer Thank you for that: We're here because we're here. Congratulations and best wishes to you

Hank, you were brave for your son, I think that's really admirable.

"I just feel like birthdays might be a little different for me moving forward" I feel that! My dad passed in an accident a two Christmas Eve's ago and I spent a lot of the next year worrying, hey is the whole holiday season and Christmas music etc just going to suck now and remind me of that? And it sure did, darn! But I'm optimistic each year will be more manageable 👍

1 Down, 47 more to go to catch up with my current streak. Look Hank, I was diagnosed with Hodgkin's in 1976. When they barely had a handle on treating it. But they did. And here I am to send encouragement to you. I stand by my challenge for you to outlive my streak. Of course, you'll need to be in your 80, pushing 90. But go for it. Your biggest problem is worrying about relapses and side effects. And it is so much better for your than it was for me. Think about that, they've been curing Hodgkin's for 50+ years. They've got a strong grip on how to do it. As they did with you.

You've got this, Hank. And I love the idea of "bugs are different from fish" as a metaphor for how we all change throughout our life, and thats a good thing.

"Feeling a little overwelmed, but, look, we're doing it!"

Appreciate the honesty in your videos, it's rare these days.

@culwin

Ай бұрын

Porn spam bot

I’m expecting a video about the differences on bugs and fish now

Literally teared up just reading the title of the video 🥹 so so unbelievably happy that you are here and in remission Hank!!!

Shout out to the Mars Trilogy, just an all-time great series whose vision for humanity is optimistic yet does not shy away from human tragedy

Bugs are different from fish!!!!! 💛💛💛 Wishing you happy birthdays and parades ahead

It's funny you mentioned John's movie at the end, because all I was thinking about for the first three and a half minutes was how much it sounded like a spiral from Aza that didn't make it into the final cut lol

Happy 44th birthday!

Hey hank I'm 22 years old and have a biopsy for a painless swollen lymph node.... hoping for the best but also bracing for the worst. Thank you! Not just for these videos but for helping me get excited about science. SO HAPPY YOU HAVE YOUR HAIR BACK!!

Thank you Hank’s body for taking treatment well and keeping him here. I have learned so much from you. ♥️

I was part of the Awesome Socks club for two years and had to stop because I've got so many socks now! And they're really good socks, so they're still good, and I'm still wearing them most days! Maybe next year I'll rejoin again for a year, but for now, I'm good on socks XD

@geeksdo1tbetter

Ай бұрын

Yeah, they're very long wearing socks!

regarding birthdays: I've been so far blessed with good health, but when I hit 50, it really occurred to me that I was in the period of my life when I really should start celebrating birthdays again. When you're 20 or 30 or 40 birthdays are ... no big deal. They represent another year you've lived, but that is not really an accomplishment. When I hit 50, I suddenly thought of all my friends and relatives who had died, many of them younger than 50, and realized that it was time to celebrate my good fortune on my birthday, that I was alive, and relatively healthy, and still fully able to enjoy life. So, Happy Birthday Hank!

I'm right there with you Hank. The anniversaries loom large.

@shannonb7449

Ай бұрын

And I really, really love that you're sharing your experiences with this with the community.

Hank, you're doing a good job, friend 💖 I'm so sorry this is hard, but you've got this!

My husband was diagnosed 2 days before my youngest's 2nd birthday. They're 11 now. He's having a lump examined the day before my oldest's 14th. The waiting to find out if we are bugs or fish is debilitating. Thank you for sharing your journey, Hank. We're here because we're here. And we aren't alone.

Ration fear -> Irrational fear -> no longer afraid. Sounds like they are reaching the end of the narrative arch, hope the next chapter is an easier one for you Hank! maybe a beach episode or something

Yes, you’re doing it!

"How long does it take to go from rationally terrified to irrationally terrified to not being terrified anymore" my anxiety and ptsd didnt come from cancer, but ime several years pass and you tense yourself for the regular trigger... and then youre like oh. Okay. Its all good. And then, on occasion, it triggers you again. Or you find a strange new trigger you wouldnt anticipate. And it sucks obviously, but you learn to live with the emotions and the physiological responses the way you learn to live with anything- the way you live around like your ulcerative colitis for example, or needing glasses. You just have to go "guess im clearing my schedule for this and keeping it chill for a couple days" when a bad trigger happens.

Oh, Hank

My wife was injured at work early last year, and we are reminded of it happening and the anniversaries of it because of insurance/worker's comp problems. So we feel you. It sucks so bad

I have the same feeling about funfairs ever since my mom passed away 25 years ago while one was in town. 😢

I had my first seizure and was diagnosed with epilepsy 5 days before my 30th birthday. I know how that feels.

I got this months socks! Fucking loved them, theyre always SO COMFY AND COOL LOOKING and having ppl notice them always brightens my day

Thanks for being so honest about your struggles during and post-cancer. The more people that normalize not being okay, the more people realize it's normal to not be okay all the time. Also, a terrible adorable parade sounds amazing

I'm kinda surprised that Hank's kids class aren't some kind of Bizarre Beast.

This hits so close to home. The anxiety of waiting on test results like that breaks you. I had something similar happen to me a couple years ago (I didn't have cancer, just really bad Crohn's) but the anxiety of those 2 days of waiting was the worst I've ever felt. I didn't eat for 2 days.

My wife is currently in that space in between and it is also currently her birthday which makes it even more stressful we're going to go to the beach and order some socks 🧦

Hank I’ve also been reading the Warriors series and really enjoying it! I just finished the 4th book and no spoilers but oooff I wasn’t expecting to cry at these books

Thank you for being so honest. It helps so many people who are going through hard times too. And certainly those of us who feel that we should not feel bad because it is a little better now. Best wishes to you!

That sucks the terror never full goes away but it's good to hear that is does lessen over time

Solidarity from somebody who once threw up on the sidewalk after a small town Pride parade & spent the evening in the ER instead of dancing. Every step up from the worst adorable parade is a triumph (but sometimes it still sucks).

Hankxiety, my anxiety salutes you. 🙌

0:49 So this is a thing I experience a lot and I’m sorry you’re now experiencing it because it sucks. My therapist has helped me embrace the idea of “maybe”. Maybe it will be the same, but maybe it won’t. You don’t know till you’re there. And learning to hold space for that usually results in the “it was fine, not great, but way better than last time” reaction like it did for you. Also consider adding on: “Maybe next time [the same/similar thing] will be even better.” 💜

My dad had his first heart attack Father's Day 2016 and since then Father's Day has been... odd. Because even though he's doing great now and we want to celebrate his fatherness the day itself feels kind of tainted. Bad stuff happening on 'good' days is weird

Petition for Sock Hank to be the mascot for the next project for awesome

In my experience it’s a lot harder to shake irrational anxiety than rational anxiety, because there are so many more opportunities to be irrational! But you do get used to it and every time you power through and irrational anxiety to do the thing you are anxious about it gives you a small thrill that maybe the world isn’t actually conspiring against you. So that’s something!

I'm definitely not in the same situation, but yeah i kinda get it. Lately I've been feeling like I'm almost on the same spot as 4 yrs ago when i left college, returned but due to an anxiety disorder I had to drop the 2 courses from this semester. Remember that we are all loved and we all contribute to whatever it is to be a human! Thank you for being here and encouraging this anxious guy that we are collectively starting to grasp what it is to live in the current world. We're here because we're here! DFTBA!

bugs are different from fish is my new life motto!!

This video posted right when I needed it. Thank you Hank. Your bravery and also anxiety is so comforting!

You missed a good "bees are legally fish in some contexts" call-out

❤❤❤ Needed this today... Thanx!

Happy for you Hank. The parade just needed you again. ❤ & I literally did sign up for Max for this movie.

i appreciate this new sock mascot . tell Sock i said hi

You are an inspiration! Not certain I could handle a cancer diagnosis at all, let alone how well you have done.

Hank, you are amazing. Keep on keeping on.

i love getting my little sock surprises each month! i work in education and with families and the designs are always a big hit, i get so many compliments & it's nice to be able to say all the profits go to such a good cause too

This video has been really affirming and healing for me, so thank you. Something about seeing someone else still impacted by the traumatic thing that happened to them a year out in a way that resonates so much with me and my process makes it so much easier to look at my own timeline and see that it makes sense too

Happy you're here Hank! A year out can be weird (as I've heard from my mom). Thank you for sharing and sending love

I really resonated with this, especially the anticipation of the anniversaries of things. Mostly through sheer dumb luck I also have some pretty significant traumas that also line up with positive annual events in my life and every year I surprised myself with how I react. Especially as someone where I'd argue my anxiety is much worse than any of my actual trauma, I end up feeling worse in the prepping for and lead up to the anniversary than I actually do on the anniversary most of the time

Hey Hank, you've got this! Sending virtual loves ❤

i was also diagnosed the day before my birthday and i thought about you so much ... also now being in this weird inbetween place i relate sooo strongly with what you talk about and feel crazy understood! very very thankfull for all your awesome parasocial support by all you do! and sending some sarapocial good vibes back to you

Happy Birthday Hank!

We love you. It is good to see you.

Just reread AART and I'm crying rn

i think you've got the right idea. when i get boggled by traumatic anniversaries, i also find it helps to think about how much has changed since then ❤

As someone who is currently going through cancer treatment, your videos have been really helpful to me. Thank you.

Morning Hank!

I am just over a year out from a hospitalization, and boy does it feel strange! sending my sympathies always ❣️

Change is the only constant, you never step in the same river twice. That’s all I got, be well BE Hank. 🤦🏻‍♀️♥️🌷

Thank you for sharing. We both know that this is not enough to prepare folks but for folks who have dealt with these feelings it is good for making people feel less alone and for folks who can't understand it, they will be better prepared if they experience something similar later. It is true that getting help with it is for your therapist, but there is still a lot of value in you sharing.

as someone who also had been dealing with birthdays slowly yet surely feeling less terrible due to anniversaries of things this means a lot to hear

I feel you on the birthday front. On my 39th I was having a 2 hour keyhole surgery that turned into a 6 hour open exploratory surgery. Recovery has been rough and I've had to have an additional major surgery to fix some of the damage done in my first surgery, but the cancer is gone and I'm still here. Recovery is a process, often longer, harder, and weirder than anybody talks about. I imagine from here on out birthdays are always going to hit a little bit different. Thanks for sharing the weird parts of your journey! I'm glad you're still here.

My dog has osteosarcoma, and we're definitely on the clock. I'm trying to be present and enjoy every moment I can with her, but I'm having all the emotions. Thank you for speaking about your experience, it has been helpful to me in a time when I'm being very hard on myself.

Hank you are so wonderful and so human

This month’s sock design is my favorite so far!

hi hank ive been dealing with trauma anniversaries for a good majority of my life. about 20 years now. and yeah, these can be questions for your therapist, but they can be questions for your youtube channel too. it's good practice to be aware of yourself and your body and your emotions during trauma anniversaries. it helps us stay present and we can watch out for anything that's Extra Bad or concerning to the level where we need to reach out for additional help. but you also talk about tools that are going to help you in the long run. looking back and gauging the growth and the change that has happened is a tool that we use in trauma therapy. looking at your tweets and assessing your mindset can be helpful! give yourself space. our reactions change over time as we heal and grow. there is no timeline to grief and healing trauma. one year's reaction might seem completely irrational and not understandable to another year's reaction, and that's okay. you're here because you're here 🫂 and i'm glad for it

You being awesome with this year’s adorable parade will help you with next year’s adorable parade. And that one will help with the one after that. You are awesome and the best.

Happy birthday, Hank :)

thank you so much for this, hank. i have Anniversaries of the abuse kind, and holy shit does it suck. but i'm also so grateful to be at a point that i've learned from you and so many others how memory and this miraculous meatsuit work, so i can also feel wonder and appreciation at the fact that my body and the parts of me that are directly connected with it don't understand that i'm safe now, and that it's up to me to teach it that.

"You're a little overworked (overwhelmed?). But look! We're doing it!" Great way to end the video.

The sock with face is so cursed Hank!

This hits home as I have recently lived (and currently living) this situation. My first anniversary of getting the call that I had cancer I had a lot of anxiety leading up to it. As someone that had never really dealt with anxiety it was eye opening and hard and a day I was dreading. But it came and went and was actually a surprisingly good day. I was SO relieved because the lead up was awful. A month or so later I found out the cancer was back, more aggressive and terminal. When I was very first diagnosed I was so sad, but had a lot of peace and calm knowing I needed to do that for my wife, family, and friends that I was going to need to break the news to. The relapse news was harder in that sense. I had already gone through telling people once and played the stoic strong role. This time I was crushed. I was weak. Still working so hard to recover from my complete gastrectomy, learning to eat again only to find out the cancer was back and worse than ever. Took the wind out of my already tattered sails I had been mending. This time I also held off for a while for my own private mourning before I told anyone. I waited until I was at peace with the news and then let people know. It’s interesting to imagine how you might react to situations, but then living them you get to find out. Welp here’s to me making it to my 40th birthday on May 16th! That’s my goal right now. And thank you Hank for sharing your thoughts as it has helped me have another person to relate to on my own journey.