Hi Nidhi. Thank you for being so vulnerable and posting this. I can't even tell you how much I can relate. As a fellow South Asian, I grew up with both of my grandparents in the house as well and you're right - it made the house feel full and it was the only "normal" I ever knew. They are the reason I can speak Gujarati and Hindi and the reason I feel so close to the all of the non toxic parts of our culture. I lost my dada in 2013 and my dadi in 2015 (she also declined quickly after my dada passed away). I wish I could tell you that it gets easier. I honestly dislike it so much when people say that. Because in my experience, it's never easy. It's always confusing and you feel their loss at so many points in your life. There are also great moments though. My family and I find ourselves reminiscing on time spent with them often and those moments are filled with lots of laughter and tears too. They will find a way to make you feel their presence in your life even though they are not physically around. Also, my mom has a condition that renders her fully dependent on us (from changing to feeding to all of the above) I say that to say, I know how much love and effort goes into caring for a family member in that regard. I know it is not easy to see someone decline in that way in front of your eyes. Sending you a BIG hug. I hope you will continue to be gentle with yourself as you navigate all of these emotions. Sorry for this super long comment, but I felt compelled to write to you while listening to you talk!

I cried real tears when you said, "In my head, we're still kids and they live upstairs." My grandpa passed away in 2018 when I was 12. It's crazy how we feel like the people we live with are gonna be with us forever. I remember the day he passed away I didn't cry infront of anyone and at night, when some people in our house were asleep and some of them were busy dealing with things, I just talked to grandpa in my imagination. I had deep conversations with him and at last I took his blessings and he left and flew away in space. (I know how this is sounding, but it was all my imagination. I didn't even imagine us to be in this world. It was like some sort of 4-D space ~[that was just my imagination but it feels so deep]~ ) I kept my eyes closed and cried a little till sleep hit me. {I've never ever told all this to anyone. Never. Ever.} We still call the room he lived in 'baba ka kamra' (grandpa's room). It makes me feel a different way when I think about my life 5-6 years ago. I still feel like we're little kids and he lives downstairs.... It makes me feel so complete, Like, that's my complete family! (although that's not the reality now.) I feel so peaceful (in a different way) and connected to you right now. It's midnight and........ Overthinking is hitting I guess.~ but I feel good. I really meant it when I thanked you for being a big sister to me. Sending love and power to you and your family. ~and a big hug. ❤️❤️ 🕯️

Hi Nidhi. Losing people who you are very close to is heartbreaking and the grief you feel is hard to get over. Time passes and grief does change but it always stays with you. I lost my Grandparents a few years ago and to this day, I still cry at their deaths and the the things that they missed in my life - I got married to my wife in Dec, my nephew being born etc. They were my world. Sending you and your family all of the love and support. You will get through this💜

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Sorry for your loss and I hope your getting better and strangely enjoyed and loved your honesty on this video and also loved your vulnerability in this post. I hope you can keep your great memories you have between you and your grandmother. Thank you so much for this great video and sharing your emotions on this great video. Sending you lots of love from Sydney Australia

Nidhi I am sending you and your family hugs from Texas! There has been so much loss in the last few years I can’t really get a grasp of it… Thank you for sharing the realness of your life I know it helps so many humans Worldwide 💜

You made me cry so much with this your grief is so raw you can feel it as you watch. Not the same situation at all but i spent a few years living with my maternal grandma when I was younger and the day I lost her I felt my whole world collapse she was my biggest supporter and was always beside me cheering me on. She was the first person I came out to and was honestly the most caring person in my universe... she always used to tell me she was going to be dancing at my wedding and the memories I have of her helped/still help to process her passing. I am so sorry for your loss but thank you so much for making this video and showing your vulnerability I'm sure this will help so many people. You just have to take all of the time that you need to feel the sadness and heal as much as you can Love always Cassie 💜🖤

My dad passed away on 15th of February at 61. It’s going to be a full month tomorrow. It still feels very weird. I still haven’t fully grasped that he’s not coming back. Comes in waves especially when I have to face it (organizing their clothes, seeing photos/videos, a family friend telling us a memory they have with him etc.). I was so lucky to have him as a dad in some aspects, but had a nuanced relationship with him as well (which can be somewhat common in queer children I find). I hope us (and them) an easy journey. Thank you for sharing.

Hi Nidhi. Thank you for posting this, I am in a very similar situation right now and this really touched me. My grandpa passed away on February 18th of this year, and I'm still trying to wrap my head around it. Like you said, he was like a second parent to me. Him and my grandma are the reason why I speak Armenian and why I am so connected to that side of me. It's so hard losing that . I am sending you and your family so much love

Thank you so much, I grew up in a culture like yours grand parents and grand aunts and uncles are very important in our culture. We all live together in one house. We call them the matriarch of the family. My grand aunt just laid to rest yesterday, so I appreciate you message so much. God bless you and we love you.

My dad passed away a week before your grandma, on Valentine's Day. Hugs

She's one with the universe now :) I'm sure she'll be watching over you bunch

Hi Nidhi I can relate to you so much don't worry as we Filipino we have the same culture lots of love for us

I lived with my grandparents my whole life too. My grandpa passed away in November 2014 and my grandma in March 2015, so shortly after. Feels like she was trying to be strong for him, but then just gave up... It's been seven years and I still miss them deeply. Thank you for sharing Nidhi.

So sorry for your losses! May their memories be a blessing! Can definitely relate to thinking, when you're young, that your loved ones would live forever. I, however, lost my grandparents (father's side) when I was 16 and my other grandfather passed away when I was only 2.5 years old. Unfortunately I had to learn to deal with losses at a younger age. Just remember that these people will forever stay in your heart. Glad that you're doing better now.

I really admire your calmness and honesty, this was a sweet video. Thank you for sharing it

Nidhi , I wholeheartedly pass on all the healing energies your way. Your grandparents are going to be with you forever as your angels, thank you for being your open, raw and natural self on the internet. I adore you!

Sending you love and healing back your way. I know exactly what you are talking about my mom passed this past November, it has been hard. I took care of her and it is hard getting use to not seeing her every day.

Sending lots of love too 🥺❣✨ thank you for this video... it's a rare example in the impersonal world of youtube ❣

I’m very sorry for your loss. I hope you find comfort in their memories.

Sending u all the love and the hugs u need hope you're better now we love u♥️♥️♥️

Wow this is so heartbreaking 😔😭 I actually cried listening to you. I had seen ur insta story. And it seemed like ur dadi was gone and I remember you talking abt living with her. I was sooo surprised. I didnt kno how to ask like “did your dadi pass away” it just seemed so rude to ask Anyway Im so sorry for your loss. I hope she’s watching over you 💗

Lots of love to you Nidhi ❤️

Sending love and big hug ❤️

Sending you love

My grandpa died a year before I was born so I didn't get to meet him he was 89 My grandma I got to meet and she unfortunately died in 2007 when I was 8 and she was 94 So I'll say that they lived a good life but Nidhi I understand what you are going through because I remember barely though crying at my grandma's funeral

Nidhi I just finished Death by Sadhguru and it helped me. It's a great read.

Love you dear ❤️❤️❤️

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