NYC Rats are Built Different | Gastor Almonte | Stand Up Comedy
Комедия
Comedian Gastor Almonte on why everyone should work a retail job, keeping new year's resolutions, and his war with the rats of New York City!
Don’t Tell Comedy produces weekly shows in 100+ cities across the US in unique locations for a one-of-a-kind comedy experience! The location is kept a secret until the day of the show and the performers are a secret until they hit the stage! Check out our website for upcoming live shows in your city! www.donttellcomedy.com
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Gastor Almonte is a stand-up comedian and storyteller from Brooklyn, NY. He's appeared on Comedy Central's This Is Not Happening, Peacock’s True Story with Ed Helms and Randall Park, and Comedy Central Presents. Timeout magazine named him one of your "New Comedy Obsessions." His album, Immigrant Made, can be heard on all streaming platforms. Gastor has a podcast called The War Report w/ Gastor Almonte & Shalewa Sharpe available everywhere.
Instagram: / gastoralmonte
Facebook: / gastoralmonte
TikTok: / gastoralmonte
KZread: @GastorAlmonte
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Your soap is a joke! Major shoutout to Dr. Squatch for making this stand-up series possible. Upgrade your personal care with 15% off your order of 50+ with code DTC15
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Credits:
Written and Performed by Gastor Almonte
Executive Producers: Kyle Kazanjian-Amory & Brett Kushner
VP of Production: Marissa Gallant
Live Events Manager: Drew Platt
Co-Directors: Gordie Earle III & Brad Silnutzer
Director of Photography: Mark Davis
Gaffer: Tom Atwell
Swing: Reed Nisson
Camera Operators:
Addison Farrell
Rylie Field
Alan Jensen
Katie LeVander
Marlana Skrobe
Brandon Wells
1st AC: Sarah Alexander
Editor: Jordan Tetewsky
Color Correction: Mark Davis
Sound Recordist: Eugene Kim
Re-Record Mixer: Ryan Meadows
Production Designer: Oak Laokwansathitaya
Set Dresser: Lucy Hislop
Art Assistant: Marlon Reid
Graphics: Megan Hunter
Production Assistants:
Paige Asachika
David Berg
Aine Hunt
Eddie Lorah
Lucas Stone
Brandon Wells
Photographer: Marcus Russell Price
Art Provided by: Noura Elrhalami (@seamistcollection)
Special thanks to our generous hosts, Triangle Loft in New York City, NY
Пікірлер: 291
If New York was a person. 🤣🤣🤣
@NolitaWerrett
26 күн бұрын
Brooklyn, specifically lol
@GastorAlmonte
26 күн бұрын
East New York specifically
@No______Name______
26 күн бұрын
Brooklyn lmao love it tho
@joshuas4695
26 күн бұрын
🤣💯✔️
@johannesatlas5268
25 күн бұрын
😂 aye forreal tho!
"I've taken the train with good rats, solid people, family oriented" 😂😂 He is hilarious.
@GastorAlmonte
26 күн бұрын
Appreciate you!
@niqueybangz
25 күн бұрын
💯💯💯
@nchapi2010
2 сағат бұрын
I died😂😂😂
The idea that your rats are living your life is both hilarious and terrifying
@GastorAlmonte
26 күн бұрын
It’s the truth! 😅
@joshuas4695
26 күн бұрын
That P90X Shit was hysterical
@dustinwestglow
26 күн бұрын
more one than the other currently
@addisalemayehu7546
24 күн бұрын
IF IT IS NOT Ratatouille, I DON'T WANT IT
@airpegasus5167
9 күн бұрын
They eat everything we eat .
This dude is not just freaking hilarious, he's legitimately smart and a decent human being too.
@GastorAlmonte
26 күн бұрын
Thanks for the kind words homie!
@luvuyofiltane2280
13 күн бұрын
I do agree with you
@luvuyofiltane2280
13 күн бұрын
I do agree with you
Gastor killing it as always! “Used the tools around him to find a solution” 😂 weaponised bed bugs killed me
@GastorAlmonte
26 күн бұрын
Homie is resourceful!
I'm a simple man, I see Gastor do a Don't Tell set, I'm liking and commenting cuz he's incredible
@GastorAlmonte
26 күн бұрын
The feeling is mutual bro! Appreciate you bro!
@RipFreddy
26 күн бұрын
Gastor I said it first
@GastorAlmonte
26 күн бұрын
@@RipFreddy thanks homie! Appreciate you my g!
@robertcataldo
26 күн бұрын
A Gastor Don’t Tell set is the best my algorithm has to offer today. What an absolute gem.
@Sileonex123
26 күн бұрын
He has been incredible for awhile now
Dude said he watched the security footage of mouse jumping into his face. 🤣🤣🤣
@GastorAlmonte
26 күн бұрын
Gotta face the truth 😅
@REB4321
19 күн бұрын
No no no, a rat. They're different remember!
“That’s was a strange amount of cats today” 😂😂😂
He said "ayo what moves you" 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
He got another one! Give this man a Netflix special, stat!
@QN5Music
26 күн бұрын
Forrreal forreal.
@niqueybangz
25 күн бұрын
💯💯💯💯💯
Every time I tried to tell people that mice and rats are different species they always acted like I didn't know what the fuck I'm talkin about 😂
@GastorAlmonte
26 күн бұрын
You were ahead of the curve!
@niqueybangz
25 күн бұрын
That’s wassup that you knew cuz I def just learned Lmaooo😮😅😂
This guy is extremely underrated
No squirrel has ever added value to my life. Lol
@niqueybangz
25 күн бұрын
Straight up 😂
Gastor needs a full hour the dude is savage killer with them jokes.
so i look to my wife and i say “ayo shorty” 😂😂
I love this guy, even if he's made mortal enemies of the cat coalition
@GastorAlmonte
26 күн бұрын
I’m nervous about the kind of emails coming my way! 😅
@theshmoo560
26 күн бұрын
@@GastorAlmonte preemptive RIP bro. You will be missed
@em0_tion
23 күн бұрын
@@GastorAlmonte I love cats and I'm laughing! Keep ignoring all snowflakes, cause "someone has to make sure things get done." 💪👏😂
The delivery golden yo😭
one of the best storytellers in comedy
@GastorAlmonte
26 күн бұрын
Thanks my g! This is legit the crown I’m coming for. Still got work to do but I appreciate the kind words
@jag61688
26 күн бұрын
@@GastorAlmonte you are on the right path
I'm mad this guy flew under my radar for so long! He's too funny
Gastor always has the funniest real NY takes
@GastorAlmonte
26 күн бұрын
I’m nothing if not consistent! 😅
I have not laughed all the way through a comedy set in a very long time and I watch a lot of comedy across different genres and even nationalities. Gastor is my go to for a mood now.
New Gastor, I Click. This guy's story telling is on another level.So happy to see something new from this legend
He needs a TV show
So much effortless poetry wrapped up excellently crafted jokes. 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
This dude is hilarious. The type of guy, who, if he's a friend, you love hanging out with him because you're guaranteed a good laugh.
Ain't even started and i KNOW I'm finna laugh
Gastor been killing it, the whole industry should have been recognized
I'm from New York I swear I just saw a Giant rat as big as my arm pass by me right when I was scrolling by your video and I knew God was telling me I need to click on your video
Very clever... loved it.
Gastor I revisit your Batman bit when I’m bouncing back from panic attacks. Thank you for that
“We went to his apt dongeon “😂😂😂 that’s where I knew he a fool 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
That rat was definitely targeting you… sounded personal
@GastorAlmonte
26 күн бұрын
It’s on sight! 😅
I screamed when I almost ran over a squirrel. I swear those mofos are suicidal 😂 So funny
I've been attacked 😊 3 times 🧐 By a rat 😂😂😂😂
@GastorAlmonte
26 күн бұрын
It’s my trauma! 😂
i also am just now finding out that rats and mice aren’t the same thing 🧐🧐🧐
@GastorAlmonte
26 күн бұрын
I share what I know. That’s how community is built. We can keep the rodents away together! 😅
@yeahyeahwowman8099
26 күн бұрын
All I can say is you have Google, no excuse to be ignorant about anything.
@purodeathcore
26 күн бұрын
@@yeahyeahwowman8099 can’t say i’ve ever been at the crib and said to myself “hey i wonder if rats and mice are the same thing” so apologies for not taking initiative i guess lmfao😂
@whitneyjohnson3614
26 күн бұрын
Yea nawl they the same in my eyes just like snakes them shits shouldn't exist
Gastor so funny. 1st saw him on "this is not happening"
Gastor got the illest stories!
@GastorAlmonte
26 күн бұрын
Just sharing what I’m living 😅 thanks for the co-sign
Man, Haven't seen a clip of his comedy in years. So refreshing
Looking forward to more of your humor
@GastorAlmonte
26 күн бұрын
Appreciate you!
@JoanBrown-tf6dr
26 күн бұрын
@@GastorAlmonte 😇🤗
Damn if that's the numbers there's like 3500 cats per large volume elementary schools. If every child is getting perfect attendance that is.
@GastorAlmonte
26 күн бұрын
I see your kids will be in honor roll as well!
I'm curious what happened with that guy with the weaponized bed bugs! Like robbing a bank with unconventional ammo. 😆
This guy is hilarious lmao
One of the best comedians out there
Hilarious.....first time seeing him...I was cracking up
It’s been awhile since I heard actual jokes. This guy is funny 😂😂😂
Love this guy, he means business.
Yooo this shit was funnier than “Brooklyn Batman”
One of the best! In my opinion anyhow. Uniquely original; consistency hysterical! Gastor has easily become one of my favorite comedian's of all my lifetime. Massive Respect. Massive Blessings. One Love. Thank you for all the laughter Mr. A.🙏🏾
I love Gastor. This man has a gift!
June 11th 2024....first time watching this guy...im embarrassed...im bout to binge watch...this guy HILARIOUS!!!!
I love Gastor he's funny as fvck
@GastorAlmonte
26 күн бұрын
Appreciate you!
Netflix better give this man a special and I’m not playing around *Pulls out mason jar…*
I aspire to be able to tell a story the way this man can tell a story
Man I been waiting for Gastor since that reverse drive by.
That’s a good comedian right there
Very funny. Keep on trucking😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂🎉Blessings
@niqueybangz
25 күн бұрын
Frfr
I need to know what moves you 😂 how dare you try to fly that close to the sun 😂 that one was legendary
I love Gastor so much i hope he does a ton more shows like this, one of the best comedians out there! 🔥
Salute to my fellow East NY Brother keep doing your thing.
Love this guy! Solid set. He’s a great storyteller!👏🏾👏🏾❤️
GASTOR!!!! God this man is hilarious 😂
Yo I love cats more than any other animal by far but this shit is too darn funny 😭😭🤣🤣🤣
You’re a great storyteller, and have an excellent voice! Great stand up 💗🙏
East New York WTF Is Up ‼️‼️‼️💪🏾👌🏾 He’s Hilarious 😂 😂😂😂
Like a PackMan driving but with Cats . You're welcome😂❤
Love Gastor from his podast "The War Report" with another hilarious comedian: Shalewa Sharpe
@GastorAlmonte
26 күн бұрын
A troop! Thanks for checking us out!
@Theblackout292
26 күн бұрын
I’ll check it out!
when I say this dude is the truth 😂😂😂😂 love it
Listening to this on the subway, trying to control my facial expressions, probably look pretty stupid 😂
Dude. 9:54. Man your turns of phrase are just
There was so much good shit in here! I couldn't stop laughing 😂😂v
And without using curse words! loved it!
@jaykaynum5569
7 күн бұрын
Are you serious
Gastor needs to do an hour!
I haven’t seen Gastor in a min…he looks great, lost weight too. I see you brother.
Gastor has always been funny
10/10 perfect set
@GastorAlmonte
26 күн бұрын
Thanks for that homie! You’re too kind!
Dude ive MISSSED HIM ❤❤❤❤
@GastorAlmonte
26 күн бұрын
Really can't tell you how much I appreciate seeing stuff like this. I've been working and I promise more is coming soon.
@mj8382
23 күн бұрын
@@GastorAlmonte I can’t believe you replied!! 🤯🤯! IVE WATCHED all ur stand ups at least 3x ❤️❤️, no worries we know you have a family and a life , BUT I CANT WAIT 😭😭🙌🙌
Damn I forgot about Gastor. Came across a clip of this on ig & here I am now. Those this isn't happening stories are tremendous
@GastorAlmonte
26 күн бұрын
Ima start dropping more often going forward. Next 18 months is me setting up shop! Thanks for the good vibes!
@myst8217
26 күн бұрын
@@GastorAlmonte Word up can't wait to see/hear it. Good luck & hope the best comes!
One of the best out there, Gastor’s a beast 👏
@GastorAlmonte
26 күн бұрын
Thanks homie! Just trying my best!
I was quite too. I didn’t know that about mice and rats 😂
Your cat is safe at home! Until it crosses the street! LMAO! AWESOME SHOW! 👍🏼🤣👍🏼
Gastro! My first time seeing him. Hella funny. Searching for more
Hey gastor you are one funny guy and an inspiration to me! Keep living your dreams man 💜
Security footage 😂
Wow. Solid content, 10/10 delivery. Adding Gastor to my watchlist!
Funny AF!
Gastor is hilarious!
When da East in the house! Good stuff! Hope u get a Netflix deal. Respect!
YoOo, This guy is F!@#$%n Hysterical
*Chefs kiss*
This set was hilarious
Brilliant set!!
@GastorAlmonte
26 күн бұрын
Thanks homie!
WE LOVE GASTOR
My stomach hurts lol he was good
@GastorAlmonte
26 күн бұрын
Thanks homie!
Helluva set! Well done!
Well needed laughs, thank you
Loved it. Great story telling.
This cat is hilarious 💯 (no pun intended) Check out his "this is not happening" set‼️
That was a strong second half.
Hilarious ❤Retail piece was classic!!
When a mouse goes outside, it becomes a rat. You ever seen a rat inside a house?