These are not EXTREMES, they are TRUTHS that no one likes.

The easiest way I navigate friendship is by identifying who is a Comrade, Constituent or Confidant. Comrades are only my friend because we have a common enemy. Constituents are my friend, but only until they find someone else going in the same direction as myself; but quicker. Confidants LOVE you and aren't afraid to have uncomfortable conversations. Confidants are RARE!

@DrRRaza

Жыл бұрын

I love this. Thanks for naming the differences, I will be incorporating this answer

@smx3084

Жыл бұрын

I think you meant Comrade for number 3.

@futureking-tc6mc

Жыл бұрын

@@dejuren1367🏳️‍🌈

@JacobPang

Жыл бұрын

this one is fantastic. thanks

@jakegoss5843

Жыл бұрын

This is actually amazing.

Bro. THIS IS GOLD. I never knew how to explain it, but this is exactly what I’ve practiced for years. I really just don’t have room for friends who aren’t willing to grow WITH me.

@BigWaveStudio

Жыл бұрын

prune the tree brotha

@OliviaIgwe

Жыл бұрын

Preach it!

@jaslavie

Жыл бұрын

agreed; reflecting back on high school (just graduated), its crazy how many friends were only there for me (and vice versa) for a sense of security rather than intellectual stimulation. Everytime I would talk to them about my goals and ask about their, they would steer away the conversation and talk about events in their life. Absolute wasted time in my opinion but glad I've come to the realization now and have been making more mutually valuable friends

@TurKishsoulja

Жыл бұрын

You don't understand what friendship is then. I feel sorry for people like you. Life is more than money.

@db2ez_

Жыл бұрын

@@TurKishsoulja who said anything abt money?

It’s hard when an old friendship is not aligned anymore, but it’s harder to stay in it. Eye opening video. Thank you. 👏🏾👏🏾

@StonedAlone

Жыл бұрын

man very true

@707tich

Жыл бұрын

Where I am

@seriouscash

11 ай бұрын

its not hard at all. fuk em

@TJCastle

9 ай бұрын

Very true very true

0:39 - I had this painful epiphany last December. I finally realized that the reason why many of my plans never came to fruition is because I had very close friends and family rooting against me. It was not immediately obvious, but I started becoming more aware of microexpressions. One dead giveaway was when I shared my struggles and they were so excited to hear about it. But when things are uneventful, or even going well in my life, they wanted to redirect the conversation to talk about my struggles. It was very odd behavior, but I knew something was off whenever I felt worst after sharing my struggles with certain people. I am a closed book now. My motto going forward: "Saying Yes to New Experiences and No to new people." I am living an amazingly interesting life now just flying solo. It was difficult removing some of those emotional tethers I had to my previous circle, but I am grateful I did because I can no longer be manipulated.

@lb6056

11 ай бұрын

Live that motto. And to prevent anyone from rooting against you, never tell anyone your goals until they have been accomplished. Don’t tell anyone your game plan, because not everyone is on your team.

As I work more on myself and my goals I have realized that my friends stopped inviting me to hangout and they barley talk to me. Part of the process tho. Friends will come and go.

@ShadowZx22

11 ай бұрын

so u haven't noticed once before that "your friends" were fake ?.

Character is who you are when no one is watching. Friendship is how you talk about your friends when they aren’t around.

@thebesttheworst2277

Жыл бұрын

👌👏

This is so important especially for women who are taught bff best friends forever and we bend over backwards to keep people around that we should not. There are friendship upgrades and friendship downgrades.

As a woman, I can relate to this. If you’re improving your life in any way, most friends will try to take you down or won’t be truly happy for you. It’s hard to find genuine friends. Also I know ppl who have a lot of friends but it’s so evident they’re not genuine and think less of their friends / don’t like them.

@gcg8187

Жыл бұрын

I agree, tho it's not true in my experience.

@TheamazingPK

Жыл бұрын

That's especially true for women.

@jaslavie

Жыл бұрын

also a woman and can't agree more. But for my 2 cents, most of the "friends" i was surrounded with were the opposite: they essentially had no legitimate goals in life and lived every moment passively. Reflecting back, I can't believe how naive I was, wasting my time trying to explain my goals with them and helping them improve but they never had the inherent DESIRE to grow. Now in professional settings, I realize instead of investing your time trying to change someone's mindset with little return, I just let them go unremorsefully

@lsour8546

Жыл бұрын

I was pretty lucky to find an amazing gem of a friend that called me out on my crap but was the only one who told me she was proud of me for getting my masters'. Not even my partner said that. When you find a genuine person, that friendship is worth putting your time and love into.

@lb6056

Жыл бұрын

As a woman, I wholeheartedly agree. I discovered my so-called friends to be “Good time Charlie’s” and users after my husband passed away. Having a blast now traveling the world solo with no friends and it is the most peaceful and fulfilled I have ever felt. I have. I took (nor any desire) to try again for friendship. I am done!

You've just helped me to get some closure on my chilhoodfriendships that have faded. Damn, some of these videos can hit hard in the feels..... Thank you

@howtoactuallyinvest

Жыл бұрын

Same. Very grateful for Alex putting this out there. Expectation: "No new friends" Reality: "Few old friends"

@jacklantern7479

Жыл бұрын

Fuck ‘em 👍

3:12 4:26 - “People don’t actually want the best for you they want the version of you that best serves them” 5:11 - statements friends will make to keep you where you at

I love this! Women experience this in a more catty and many times much more vicious way. Thank you for sharing this perspective.

@mysoulrambles

Жыл бұрын

Completely agree!!

@RestLess-MinD

3 ай бұрын

That everlasting comparison,aren’t tired already,, jz

I've lost virtually all of my friends just from achieving limited success, they became very bitter and would constantly try to bring me down, I agree that it's better to have no friends than enemies that pretend they are your friends.

You absolutely nailed this one. Everyone has those kinda resentful “friends” at some point. Gotta get rid of ‘em. It’s tough tho especially when you grew up with them. No one I meet later on my journey resents me. Only people who’ve known me for a longer time

@howtoactuallyinvest

Жыл бұрын

I used to conflate the value of a friendship with the amount of time I've been friends with that person. Couldn't have been more wrong. The friends you grow up w generally become your competition to see who did better in life. New friends don't have this dynamic as much if at all. I used to think it was toxic to have the mentality of "ditching" old friends after making it, but now I understand old friends can be the number one source of toxicity fighting against your mental health.

@nithinmoorthy5911

Жыл бұрын

@@howtoactuallyinvest Totally agree with this statement

@THE-ANOMALYYY

Жыл бұрын

Yup going through this right now, it’s hard because you’ve known them Half your life…

@howtoactuallyinvest

Жыл бұрын

@@THE-ANOMALYYY absolutely. That's why I choose distance over drama and disrespect. Group chat is still entertaining but I see most of them maybe once or twice a year

@frankjrock

11 ай бұрын

Well put!

"if there is an easy thing and a hard thing, do the hard thing cause, if the easy thing were right to do, you would've already done it" man thats deep i gotta rewatch this video many times learning each and everything in detail thank you so much alex

Alex Hormozi, you should read Aristotle's view of friendship. It is in his book, Nicomachean Ethics. Three types: friendship of pleasure, friendship of utility, friendship of virtue

I love the tree analogy. Gotta trim the dead leaves, dead weight, pretty much anything or anyone stopping you from growing

This sounds so relatable,sadly I've been in this situations,some people liked me while I looked/seemed lower status,and if when they found out I was smarter,wealthier,had things going good for me they transformed into a monster😅

Alex is the best mentor I’ve ever had so far.

This is so true. Someone who I would've considered to be one of my best friends really revealed how she wasn't down for me when I had a major project due and she tried to make me feel guilty for prioritizing that over what she wanted in that moment. Real eye opener. I'm blessed to have good family relationships, so I can lean on that at the end of the day and also use that as a yardstick for measuring the health of other relationships.

I said to my wife a few weeks ago: I want to lose most of my friends. One of the best approaches to friendship ever.

@jaslavie

Жыл бұрын

broke off with 100% of the friends I made in high school (just graduated); best decision of my life so far. the moment I did so, I was opened up to so many new, more valuable relationships - they almost seemed to flow to me automatically

It's hard because focused, driven people are rarer. You can't just go to a bar and make friends with them. If you neglect your friendships, if you can't find replacement friends then you will end up feeling isolated.

@frankjrock

11 ай бұрын

Small price to pay for finding your purpose and running into like minded people in your life journey.

@shugyosha7924

11 ай бұрын

@@frankjrock You say that but if it makes you depressed it's probably better to just socialise a bit.

@frankjrock

11 ай бұрын

I’m was too busy to be depressed. I got enough social interactions on a daily but I noticed peace, tranquility, money and higher quality people entered my life. Things are better now and I safeguard my time and space. All those people I cut out are indefinitely out, and my life is better for it. I double down on high quality relationships and they have been good to me. Best of luck in your journey.

@Alamsdonaldpel

11 ай бұрын

@@frankjrock☑️

Brilliant. Explains clearly about how I never feel guilty for growing out of unfulfilling friendships. And working hard.

One of the many reasons I loved team sports as a kid. We united and supported each other towards reaching a common objective. We all worked hard to make one another better. If there was a wink link, we all lost. And wevdidn’t lose much. Our coaches instilled this mindset. We had to wear the same uniforms, track suits, boot colors, and team jackets. Literally one for all and all for one.

@hopsmax2827

Жыл бұрын

You need teammates with a positive attitude, I've had bad experience in team sports. People who would blame others, easily get triggered, etc. Doesn't only work out well, but I get what you mean. If you have good teammates, its a good experience.

The worth of this guy's videos is just incredible Thanks man for the stuff you give us

Thanks for posting this. It's made me a lot more comfortable with the recent "friendships" I've let go of. It just hurts knowing the years you out in the the esteem you held them, the love you had for them wasn't whole heartedly reciprocated.

Mostly agree about the friendships. In addition There’s a beauty in pouring into people who have nothing to offer you, where it’s just you giving to them. It keeps you humble.

@kunle9

Жыл бұрын

Even people you pour into have to offer something, respect and open ears.

@dogstick12

Жыл бұрын

People you pour into aren't friends. It's community service.

@tiffanyh.5788

Жыл бұрын

Sure. Immediately start being stabbed in the back.

@dogstick12

Жыл бұрын

Being friendly doesn't mean they are friends, being friendly means they could become friends

@bperez8656

Жыл бұрын

Your view contradicts his transactional view

I hate and love how accurate this video is to my life right now. Both relationship and friendships, I feel all is going south in every aspect yet the idea of seasons is so valuable. Thank you Alex

And then there are friend who, no matter how much time you haven't seen each other, you can straight jump back to where you left off and update and be homies with

This is such great advice! When starting a pursuit/business especially, it's really important to have quality people surrounding you!

This is one of the most impactful videos I’ve ever seen in my life. And came at the right time so thank you

“People don’t actually want the best for you they want the version of you that best serves them” Awesome video Alex ❤ 4:28

Real friends are everything especially those who care in every bad situation

I'm so glad you addressed this. I feel the same way. A few years ago, after an extremely traumatic experience, I decided to start living my life on my own terms, and that included distancing myself from friends who had a pattern of toxic behavior, and putting me down because they needed to view me that way to make themselves feel better. Since that change with my discernment, I feel so much stronger, happier, more at peace, and now seeing the results that I want to see in my life.

Absolute gold Alex. Thank you for these thoughts and helping a recovering people pleaser like myself get better.

💯 that's exactly where I'm at! And it's true that moving to the top gets lonely but as you said, richer friendships arise from growth.

Excellent video. Investing appropriately in friendships over time is something that I have struggled with in the past. Spending time and energy on a relationship that is not working doesn't work. I particularly like the "comma, and that's okay" idea presented in this video that some friendships last for a time and then paths may diverge, and that's part of life. It's nothing to stress about. Great work, Alex.

This guy is so wise... like he has figured out a lot of things including his relations and I gotta say, I used to have "friends" that had that "enemy" kind of behavior... Its just so easy to let them by because "nobodys perfect" or "everybody needs a friend" but this is line he defines is so easy to spot that helps me remember which friends I need to keep

This is what makes you happy, and it's true you gotta make room for the friends that will push you to do better and be better with same goals

This is absolutely fire🔥. This is something I believed for a while now and I’ve sent this to my team. Personally the biggest take away from this was the conversation about keeping the person in the forefront and not just about being right. There’s no reason to need to validate anything. I love this!

Really helpful stuff here, Alex. I have had a hard time in the past conceptualizing how certain relationships are affecting me (though I have gotten better over time). These rules you put forward reminded me we go through seasons in life, and if my goals don't align with the friends in my life's goals, the choice is pretty clear. Thanks for sharing this!!

This is what i have been practicing for years and I didnt know it until i watched this video. Gives me clarity that not all will stay and their role in your story will end at some point. I really believe that hanging out in the same place you used to until now isnt really a solid friendship. Well, losers/failures usually stay at the hang out place as they have no choice. Friends who still chose to hang out in the same place are just pretty solid indicator that they are not growing.

The person you want to become is going to cost you people, spaces and relationships. Gotta chose the person you're becoming every time

Thank you and I really needed to hear this. I am leveling up in all aspects in life. Knowing my worth and purpose. Let’s go y’all!!:) 💪🏽

Yes!! People get mad when this is stated. The thing is, sometimes people just transact in happiness or validation or safety, instead of something tangible. It's STILL transactional folks!!

I love you Alex. Thanks for everything this is amazing! I so excited to see how awesome the world gets with you in it!

I've seen quite a number of shorts from you and the advice that you give makes logical sense to me. I appreciate it.

Feeling that! If we all thought that way we would actually get better at supporting each other’s goals to succeed instead of tearing others down.

The video came just in time I need it, thanks Alex, such an honor to learn from you

I agree with this video wholeheartedly. Your spot on. There has to be a benefit for each other in our friendship.

Love the vid Alex you are a huge insperation!!! you are one of the genuine ones on this platform

One of the Best videos I’ve watched in a long time. Thank you! Appreciate you sharing what you do.

Love it! Thanks for this! 💪

I've been feeling this for a while with some current friends and some I've cut away from... I've had a sense that I want to grow in a massive way and the way for that to happen, I know, is to cut away almost all of these relationships. The reason I 'feel' like it's hard is because I've put my identity in creating and developing relationships. Priding myself on my ability to connect and maintain connection... I think I'm beginning to see that those are great skills to have, but that I need to see it differently. That the reality is my growth will be choked out if I have all these other relationships around me that aren't giving me the nutrients I need to succeed and grow. 'They're simply weeds in the garden' so to speak... I have a lot of weeds. It's time to pick and stick with the few and guard my inner circle. It's time to shift my identity and no longer base it around having a large circle of friends.

Wooow Alex this video resumes everything I’ve been trying to teach my lil sister. LOVED EVERY SECOND OF IT!!!

The things that have been going in my mind past month has come up to in a video form. Thanks Alex !

Alex - you are pure Gold. Thank you.

Papa Moz dropping financial and life lessons all day, everyday. Really interesting view on friendship with someone who's rapidly moving up and across different social groups. Most of us stay or are stuck in the same social circles so this doesn't really apply but it's super interesting how things change when you make significant changes...🙏

Pure Fire. Thank you for making me feel not-crazy. As almost everyone i've taken this approach with has tried to make me feel. Purely because they want to accountability while I have to be accountable.

Alex's editors are freaking amazing at what they do

I rarely see my best friends, but we are tight and will be there for each other any moment we're needed, but day to day we're cracking on with our goals and dreams and living our lives with our families. Great friends are a contribution to our lives and it's mutual.

Exactly what i needed to hear heading into this new chapter of my life. Passions are coming back and the will to succeed. This whole video feels like its talking to me. Thanks Alex 🤙

Thanks for sharing and huge credit to the editor for the amazing editing. This video has been edited amazingly

The instant I had success selling my training videos, 90% of my so-called friends turned on me. Even the 10-year old friendships. I was shocked and deeply hurt... but I eventually got over it.

If you do what 99% of people do, you're going to have what 99% of people have. Alex wants to be and already is exception, so by nature his beliefs about the world will be too.

Sick video! Great job Alex. U distilled the meaning of friendship & relationships in a beautiful way. Thank u for giving me the courage to do the same. I thought that only maybe I think like that. Keep up the great work!

I feel u. Been dropping alot of dead weight off the ship and the ship is coasting much more better now as I continue sailing the rough seas towards my goals in life

Really needed this.

Preach Alex , thank you for sharing, very insightful into some current issues

You are very smart bro. The level of deep thought you put into your videos. DAMN

needed to hear this...thanks for making the video Alex

So true man! I had a long term friendship with a bro. He was heavy into dj stuff and producing music… i was more interested in piano so i studied piano for 10 years. We had good and bad time but i wasn’t awake like I am today. Long story short. I supported him in his dj stuff all the time, i even went with him to Stuttgart and al other parties he had to play music. I alway encouraged him. But now I’m somewhat “good” at piano… i noticed a huge difference in his behavior towards me and when he’s drunk he alway complains that he had it way worse then me and that i am lucky… the problem is that i always some what stand out. And thats not to brag but i didn’t know that first. When it comes to games, sports, woman, my health … i alway excel because I’m very introspective and I’m willing to change for the beter. But i didn’t know that not everyone is like that …

YES. Listening to you and others, it REALLY makes me wonder what is making me not be on y'alls level. I have also been saying for a long time that every interaction is transactional. The amount of times I hear things said by people that are unimaginably successful that parallel my own thoughts on life really makes me wonder what I'm missing/what the difference is between us, so that I can actually get closer to my potential. So I'll keep watching, and maybe eventually I'll find the key.

@livinginoklahomacityofficial

Жыл бұрын

Lack of action, usually. One's beliefs and mindset doesn't alone create success, without action. No amount of videos watched can replace that.

@Squirrel-zq6oe

Жыл бұрын

@@livinginoklahomacityofficial right, I totally get that, I'm wondering what causes the lack of action.

@mrmrshel2523

Жыл бұрын

@@Squirrel-zq6oe Lack of action, could be lack of ideas or self-confidence to believe your ideas are good enough. edit: my worst enemy is that I am a perfectionist and don't trust anything is good enough. Got to remember the 80% rule. Get it to 80% what you think is your best and release it, so you can move forward. also, that 80% rule saves time verse value/cost

@Squirrel-zq6oe

Жыл бұрын

@@mrmrshel2523 tbh I for sure have a problem with feeling confident in my direction/decisions. I am worried about choosing the wrong path and feeling like I really f***ed up.

@abdou-co9kb

Жыл бұрын

How old are you

Most people have regular boring lives and don't even have friends. They just have people to help pass the time with

Everything is true if you believe it in your head. If you believe that life is hard, yes it is hard. If you believe that life is beautiful and easy, so be it. Alex's "no new friends" point of view is correct, for those who confirm it. And vice versa *Everything is true and everything is a lie. It all depends on your personal beliefs*

@petrus2746

Жыл бұрын

it's the same as "whether you believe it or not you're right"

@ReDrillWorkouts

Жыл бұрын

@@petrus2746 Exactly!

I just started a business and am in second year/season. Been lots of changes, friends included. Been reading and listening to Audible and taking action. Your content is valuable and helpful to me and I take some notes. Thank you

Alex I appreciate your balanced take of philosophy, psychology and tactical frameworks for dealing with different levels of success, from a place of actually being qualified to speak on it. THANK YOU.

I had to block a “friend” recently because I got tired of hearing her say “must be nice” to whatever my latest achievement was.. I’m done.. this chapter of my life is invite only.. I’ve earned that stance.

your surroundings/people around you change when you change. (even family can feel different/somewhat alienated) it was hard to accept that in the beginning but once you get used to it, it feels really good to have "weeded" out. many books talk about this phenomenon too. in the first years i thought i was losing my mind though but then i realized it was the right step. i am squirrel

100% agree with this!💪🔥

So true. I've had a lot of friendships that had to end so that we both could grow in different directions. It's hard to do but anything worth doing is going to be hard.

Actually needed this!

Needed this. Thanks Alex

Just because you lost me as friend, doesn't mean you gained me as an enemy. Im bigger than that, I still want to see you eat, just not at my table. -Tupac

Dang mozi channel has grown a lot! Nice work all the best to ya

This is something I didnt realize until after college. There needs to be value in the friendship for both in order for it to last. I have had attachment issues when I felt my close friendships slipping due to having to move alot and not having my father consistently in my life. I learned to look for lime minded people which hqs been hard but Im willing to set my boundary for this.

Amazing video! Totally agree with this! Well said sir!!!!

really needed this video, thanks Alex 🙏🏽

Amazing Alex, makes so much sense. Thank you

im so with this, keep your friends close knit. usually theyre the ones who you went to school with bro no new friends

Very very smart and deep. Thanks dude!

I agree with all that you said. Thanks Alex for making this video. Once again I have learned something from you. Now it time to apply it.

this is awesome man, great way of explaining it !

Cher Alex, So profoundly TRUE! I live in a small town, single mother, 2 amazing teen boys and Glowing Up! 40% of the higher ups in town have one by one been trying to destroy me. I am turning my back and lifting my chin ! Blessings Brother ✊🏽♥️💃🏻♥️✊🏽

I completely agree with this. I even have family members who are effectively rivals against me and try to fuck up my progress. I don’t have anything to do with them anymore, and my life is better for it

I had no idea how to describe it, but this is precisely what I'd been doing for years. I just don't have place for pals who aren't eager to develop alongside me.

Almost Every friend I’ve ever had has Fked me over & I’ve come to regret having lacked discernment. I agree with you here completely & wish I had been as wise as you. I just had such a low self esteem due to my abusive parenting. Now I’m left having to repair all the psychological & neurological damage.

Absolutely true. I was shocked at how some of my friends resented my successes and would show up to bask in my loses. Only a few REAL friends and i'm fine with that.

As viewers of this video, we fit perfectly for Alex’s definition of friendship 😅

@jeojerva

Жыл бұрын

speak for yourself pal

@StaringAtWall

Жыл бұрын

​@@jeojervayou speak for yourself

@CharleswoodSpudzyofficial

Жыл бұрын

Cool, and?

@ellybellissima

Жыл бұрын

😂 true

@lukaivanovic7342

Жыл бұрын

@@CharleswoodSpudzyofficialThis is perfect transaction 🤷🏽‍♂️

one dude on here i truly respect admire no shortcuts no fillers just plain and simple do the work do the work do the work and with that mentality anyone is boung to make it and worse case scenario you have a good work ethic and can still pay the bills