5 Hooks Narcissists Use To Prevent You From Leaving: 1. Hoovering Let’s say you’ve managed to cut ties with your narcissist ex. You’ve maintained radio silence, you’ve started to put your life back together… and out of nowhere, they get back in contact with a message that just kicks you in the guts. Maybe they heard that your parent died and they text you just to let you know that they’re sending their condolences. Or perhaps you get a tear-stained note taped to your door in which they lament their brokenness and say that you were the only good thing that had ever happened in their life, and they’re so sorry for having f**&$#d things up between you.Like your standard vacuum cleaner, this is a hook that’s meant to suck you back into their web. If you’ve opened yourself up to this person, they know your vulnerabilities. They know what makes you tick, and like a well-trained assassin, they know the weak spots they can target to achieve their intent: in this case, to get you back in some way. In all likelihood, they don’t actually want to rekindle a relationship with you - they just want to prove to themselves that they could have you if they wanted to, so they can suck up your energy to fuel their ego games for a little while before discarding you once again. 2. Intermittent Reinforcement Remember when things were really wonderful at the beginning of your relationship? Before everything went to s&*t? When you were their world, their sun, their stars? Before every single thing you did irritated them? It’s those memories that a narcissist will draw upon to hook you back. Imagine a dog that gets kicked by its owner 95 percent of the time, but the remaining 5 percent, they get cuddles and treats and love. The dog will tolerate the kicking because of the memory of how wonderful it was when they had moments of being truly loved, and just like a narcissist will treat you like crap most of the time, they might gaze at you adoringly now and then, marveling at how gorgeous you are, and how they really don’t deserve someone as amazing as you are.This technique is especially effective if you have low self-esteem, because the little blips of kindness are like oases of hope in what is otherwise a wasteland of sh*te. If and when those moments happen, remind yourself of the overwhelming ugliness that happens the rest of the time, and how those fleeting moments really don’t make up for how horribly they treat you. Print out abusive text messages and emails and hang them on your wall for instant reminders, if you need to. 3. Promises Of Change (Lies Lies Lies) The person you dated, but have mercifully been free from for a while, suddenly emails or texts you to let you know that they’re in therapy. …and there go your heartstrings, because you did care about this person fiercely (and possibly still do), and they’ve just prodded on that soft spot in your heart that always hoped (prayed, dreamed) that they would wake to their potential and be the person you always knew they could be. The thing is, they know full well how effective this hook can be, which is why they use it. It’s a crock of sh*t, of course, but it’s a damned good manipulation tactic because it appeals to your empathy and compassion. They’ve realized that they need help. They want to change. They’re taking steps to do so, and one of the things they want to rectify is how horribly they’ve treated you.Effective, isn’t it? You’re basically screwed either way: if you come to their aid, you’re sucked back into their blackened vortex of horribleness and the entire cycle will begin anew. If you don’t help them, you’ll feel like the world’s most cold-hearted person for abandoning them when they had a moment of vulnerability and reached out to you (to you! They MUST really love you!). Furthermore, if you don’t help them when and if they cast their fishing line out to reel you back in, you might find yourself faced with… 5. Smear Campaigns Some people choose to go back to a narcissistic partner in order to prove to themselves (and others) that they’re not a horrible, abusive charlatan… which is how the narcissist has chosen to paint them after a breakup. If your narcissistic ex has been in contact with your social circle and told them horror stories about how you were cruel to them and then abandoned them, you’re going to look like the worst person on the planet. You might find yourself frozen out of people’s lives, or cut down by complete strangers for actions that you either didn’t do, or that you did in order to save yourself.Like leaving. In this situation, you might actually be the one who tries to re-form a connection with the narcissist, in order to amend the perception that you’re an awful human being. You might find yourself apologizing to them for making them feel bad when you called them out on their abuse. You may grovel and ask for a second chance after you dared to walk away from their gaslighting and neglect.If they consider you worthy enough, they might do you the honor of letting you back into their life, at which point the entire cycle will begin anew. Won’t that be fun? When it comes to narcissists, it’s important to remember that they are the way they are because they’re hurting. They’ve been damaged, and their behavior stems from a place of severe internal damage. It’s rare that a narcissist can change, but you can be damned certain that they’ll hurt most of the people they allow close to them. If you love a narcissist, that’s okay: you’re a kind, probably empathic person who has wanted to help someone who’s obviously in pain. But you need to love yourself more, and get the hell away before you end up more damaged than they are. www.aconsciousrethink.com/5355/narcissist-hooks-keep-you-coming-back/

@Nerino666

6 жыл бұрын

...., should have known this earlier...., I'm luckally left long time ago, but kid is a "playball"... :( still: I'll live with it, die also! Amen!

@melanieadams7891

6 жыл бұрын

Im currently in this sititution and hes addicted to porn and blames me for or my kids. And then i started talking to an old high school friend and he accused me of cheating on him and i havent done anything with this person. And he's giving me the silent treatment cause of it and I've told him numerous of times that i didnt want him no more and he responded back with im not leaving. So i have plans to get out of this that he doesn't knw bout

@Exsugarbabe1

6 жыл бұрын

I think both these kids have problems. She is cold and won’t change but I think it shows she isn’t ready to marry this man. He is shovelling pressure on her, I’d say this is too much too young and they should split up and have some fun separately. Young people are more self centred and minipultive because they only have to think about yourself.

@DP-hn6rl

6 жыл бұрын

She's 25 and a mother of a 4yr old. I'm 34 and have been in 3 2+yr relationships. Her engagement to me was her third in 4 years. She actually pushed for marriage as did her family. She was asking about marriage within 2 months of dating. I didn't realize it until the ex fiance contacted me after I moved out but she was engaged to another man just weeks before we started dating. Yuk.

@BobbieCzapla

6 жыл бұрын

From Surviving To Thriving!! YOU ARE SO RIGHT !! HE HAS ALREADY DONE THOSE THINGS! THE DAILY ABUSE WORE ME DOWN AND MY HEALTH OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN HE AGGRAVATED ISSUES THAT WERE ALMOST COMPLETELY GONE HE HAPPILY AND AGGRESSIVELY DID EVERYTHING I TOLD HIM NOT TO DO PERTAINING TO ME AND MINE HE STIRRED UP HELL AND GLEEFULLY THREW GASOLINE INTO HIS STIRRING BUT IVE BEEN THREATENED BY HIM I AM NOT TO SPEAK OF THE TRAUMA HE'S PUT ME THROUGH OR HOW HE STIRRED UP HATRED IN MY CHILDREN AGAINST ME AS IF HE HAD THAT PLACE AS IF HE HAD THAT RIGHT AS IF HE GOT THE BEST LAWYER TO GET HIM OUT OF ALL HIS PERSONAL WRONG DOINGS AND SHRED ANY CONCEIVABLE PLACE HE HASN'T ALREADY DONE I CAN NEVER BE A LOVER TO A MAN WHO HAS SO CONSISTENTLY BEEN MY ENEMY I HAVE NEVER BEEN A LOVER TO A MAN WHO IS MY ENEMY I DID HAVE ONE ACT LIKE A BIG NARCISSIST P_SSY WHEN I SAW SOME DANGEROUS SIGNS AND TOLD HIM TO LEAVE PERMANENTLY HE ACTED LIKE I OWED HIM WHILE HE PAID FOR NOTHING AT ALL AND I DID ALL MY OWN CHORES BECAUSE ONCE BEFORE I LEFT FOR WORK I TOLD HIM TO PLEASE TAKE OUT A TRASH BAG THAT HAD FRESH CHICKEN SKIN IN IT. THINKING HE DID I HAD NO WORRY OF IT BEING INSIDE. DAYS LATER I SAW A LINE OF MAGGOTS GOING TO A CRACK IN BATHROOM WALL I DIDNT KNOW WHERE THE LINE WAS COMING FROM I BLEACHED THEM OUT EVERY TIME I SAW A LINE I FIGURED THERE MUST'VE BEEN A DEAD MOUSE UNDER THE CARPET THEN IT STOPPED THEN A COUPLE DAYS LATER THERE WAS A CLOUD OF TINY FLIES AND I SAID TO HIM WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING TO MY PLACE I'VE NEVER HAD TO DEAL WITH THIS BEFORE! AND I PULLED THE BUNNY BOX OUT FROM UNDER THE DESK THINKING MAYBE MY BUNNY HAD SOME BIG PROBLEM BUT HIS SHAVINGS WERE CLEAN AND DRY AND HIS LITTER BOX DIDN'T NEED CHANGING WHEN I SPOTTED THE TRASH BAG THAT HE WAS SUPPOSED TO HAVE THROWN OUT FIVE DAYS PRIOR I REALIZED HIS DISOBEDIENT SPIRIT CAUSED MAGGOTS GET RID OF HIM .AND HE BEGGED AND PLEADED EVERY THREE DAYS I SHOULD HAVE HAD THE POLICE REMOVE HIM PROMPTLY HIND SIGHT IS 40/40

They always accuse you of arguing when you are just trying to have an adult conversation.

@jeanniejeannie7258

2 жыл бұрын

Yep, thats reactive abuse, they are beyond crazy, smh

@ashlynheidebrecht1969

2 жыл бұрын

Yeah and they talk over you and when you speak a little louder just to finish your sentence they accuse you of yelling and being aggressive. 🫠

@dalialovesdoggies4361

Жыл бұрын

Totally

@dalialovesdoggies4361

Жыл бұрын

@@ashlynheidebrecht1969 totally

@berean65

Жыл бұрын

@@Squirrel7six Mine did that to me also.

I was pathetic like that at one time too because I didn’t know what was happening and I’d never heard of narcissism. Now that I’m free, I’m like “WHAT THE HECK WAS I THINKING?” There IS life after narcissistic abuse. Thank you Jesus.

I wish I could wave a magic wand and make every person under the narcissists spell wake up to reality.

@Amanda-ev3lg

Ай бұрын

Im awoken. Making a beeline out

“Do you really love me???” “Do you care for me???” These are the common questions of a victim😔

@walkaminutewithme4787

2 жыл бұрын

I ask him these questions everyday. He won't answer. I shouldn't have to ask. And when they won't answer, well then time to leave.

Omg she is actually saying the exact same stuff that my narc would say. "I don't have time to talk right now because I have to get up for work in the morning." Like, what?

@Max_Snellink

5 жыл бұрын

I had sleep deprivation tactics used on me over and over.. Lights on bed covers pulled off me.. Like military boot camp over and over to be woken into a full argument rant at me.. "why argue now I have work in the morning" but I'd lay awake over thinking afterwards and suffer at work... I drive long distance and I carry passengers.. "good I hope you crash and die" is their response to me high lighting the dangers of tired driving.

@atabodur77

5 жыл бұрын

@@Max_Snellink Exactly I lived this! It can be middle of night, she may yell! Next day, I have to go to work...

@Max_Snellink

5 жыл бұрын

@@atabodur77 to break us wear is down... Mine never worked... Just slept all day or binged watched murder stories. I had to work 3 jobs 18 hours a day to make ends meet. Get home.. She's eaten. No food for me. Went to bed hungry most nights. I've left now... Living on a van. Rad. Peace.

@righiportfolio

4 жыл бұрын

Yes, just like my ex too... Do they have a school or something? A formation? Sounds classic. Hahahah!

@crysvicious

4 жыл бұрын

"i Cant talk to you anymore , you use too many words" -narc in my life-

This is a powerful video. She cheats on him and the narcissistic control is so powerful that his response is to ask her to merry him. Looking from the outside it’s easy to see how messed up this is, but this is the power of the narcissist.

Thank you for sharing this. Abuse to men happens every day, but it doesn't get exposed.

@HelloOki

5 ай бұрын

yep. abuse is abuse its not gendered.

The moment you find yourself fighting the one you love to love them...thats how you know they are a Narc. He literally sounds like he's debasing himself just to get an ounce of reassurance from her. He's even having to explain what love is! Narcopath's always demand trust when they are the least deserving of it. Story of my life!!

@HeroReturns

5 ай бұрын

She’s dating another guy and saying this guy has “trust issues”. 🤦‍♀️ They really do make us believe that black is white, or red is blue.

You should never have to “beg” someone to marry you dude. Stay strong.

@oliverschroder3944

5 жыл бұрын

or dont get weak in the 1st place man

@Jane.Doe.

5 жыл бұрын

@Julissa N. Right? I commented about that too. Dude needs to find his pride and his backbone.💪 Begging. For real? He's going to get his ass handed to him by every female he meets. Damn

@rachaelhyland754

5 жыл бұрын

Most people who are in relationships with Narcissists had a parent with Narcissism, so they’re used to talking to their loved ones like this. This is a pattern from childhood - it’s completely normal to them. They can’t just “not be weak” without therapy.

@Jezebel066

4 жыл бұрын

Julissa N. What type of personality disorder does HE have?

@mkoz3093

4 жыл бұрын

This is abuse. She is being abusive to him. I wish he could see it and be strong. It is so hard to see it when you are in it. It's so sad.

People pointing out him begging, her saying it's over, so he's the problem don't understand the dynamics of a relationship with a narc. They love bomb, get people attached, all in. They were engaged, he thought they were about to be married, but she's been living a double life. It needs to be said that narcs think they want a healthy relationship, but they don't, when they find someone who treats them right, they start to pull away and/or start abusing the other person. They don't know how to function in a healthy relationship, their wounded inner child associates love with hurt, to them, that is what love is. This man was doomed from the start. He doesn't realize it in these recordings, he's panicking and begging because he loves her. I hope by now he doesn't. I hope he realizes as much as she hurt him, he's better off. I hope he takes the time to heal, to get her out of his mind and heart, because some where out there is a woman who would appreciate a man like him.

@sethbartley36

5 жыл бұрын

It's harder than one might think! I used to scoff at people who had relationship issues and tell them to get over it and buck up. Then I. Got ran over hardcore by a BPD and I'm still a little twitchy. It's been 9 months.

@Shadowmanchronicles

3 жыл бұрын

I mean he needs to create space for himself. Then that narc will have interest again. Narc don't respect beggars.

@shabrethajennings7291

3 жыл бұрын

@@Shadowmanchronicles Narcissist don't respect anyone period. You don't have to be a beg they still won't care or respect any individual. All they do is idolize you up until a certain point. They have false delusion and when they incur human flaws of their obsession. You then become less value in the eyes, this is because narcs live in la la land. Understand you could be the best person in the world, and the narc will eventually devalue, abuse, discard you. No one is ever good enough to these energy vampires.

@coreyanderson1457

2 жыл бұрын

A man who talks to his partner terribly, and acts like she is a bad person and accuses her of being crazy? Uhm, idk about that...

@DP-hn6rl

2 жыл бұрын

I’m the guy in this video, looking back it’s just sad because I didn’t realize I was dealing with someone lacking what I’d consider fundamental qualities of a human being. So I was trying to plead to someone I assumed had actual empathy and meant what they say. I would never beg or even have this conversation now. The actions speak so much louder than words. I never dated again but I’m fine alone. I focus on my career and hobbies and I’ve got two pit bulls that love me unconditionally I don’t come from a place of need anymore. I never did before her and I never would again.

This is a crime and they should be held accountable so we can correct this behavior. This is unacceptable.

@HeroReturns

5 ай бұрын

It truly should be punishable. It is probably worse than a lot of crimes.

brings back memories after being with a female malignant Narcissist, the conversation just never ends, absolutely no resolution! I’ve gotten to point I can actually hear her complete lack of emotional empathy. “why would you want to be with me, I’m awful to you lol”. My X actually asked me “what would I have to do for you to break up with me”? She asked me this during a 2 week break she needed right after the “love bomb” stage was complete. Obviously she was testing, unfortunately I fell for the trap. My advice to anyone is that if you go from extreme attention and intimacy to confusion, silent treatments and devaluing run for your life! The woman in this video is a triangulation and deflection machine. This poor man is telling a woman who is incapable of love that he would do anything for her. I hope he’s out of there!

I was married 33 years. I would have done anything to have a guy like you. Someone out there is looking for you. Find her! Walk away and quit waisting your time!

@Shadowmanchronicles

3 жыл бұрын

I don't believe this comment.

@angeldew77

3 жыл бұрын

I don't believe if he found that woman that'd he'd be interested.

@olympics1234567

2 жыл бұрын

What kind of woman, would want such a needie, pathetic man/boy. That guy should have told her to pack her bags and not let the door hit her on the rear end, on the way out.

@firstofthemonthclub4491

Жыл бұрын

19:35 to 19:40 Heads up pal. Yes it will and yes there will be. This will be the most negative relationship you will ever be in. And I am guessing killer sex os the reason he is doing this smarmy routine.

@firstofthemonthclub4491

Жыл бұрын

19:42 you won't have any choice

" The narcissist's worst nightmare is an educated empath." And here's a quirky joke that made me laugh: Why did The Narcissist cross the road.... Because they thought it was a boundary... 🙄😂

@HeavenOrHell74

9 ай бұрын

That was Golden. 💯😂

@carolinefoster1331

5 ай бұрын

😂

@HelloOki

5 ай бұрын

bahahaha

@Diva-bl7sd

Ай бұрын

👏 👏 👏

Him being "pathetic" is actually a very important point in this video. Most people are not like this when they enter the relationship. This is just the kind of stuff that happens when you're really dealing with someone that has a serious personality disorder.

@FromSurvivingToThriving

6 жыл бұрын

Exactly, well said

@DP-hn6rl

6 жыл бұрын

Thank you! This video has actually helped me understand even more of the dynamics of these types of individuals. I’ve read many books and watched many videos on this but only experiencing this or having someone like Michele point out some of the subtleties has helped me see what’s going on. I had a gut feeling something wasn’t right but I just kept trying to take more responsibility and change myself. Of course it never worked and I felt like I was talking to a brick wall😔🤦🏻‍♂️

@Bar_Bar27

6 жыл бұрын

YES! and people are judging him and call him names. I cant believe it.. those who called him names probably never really been with narcissists. I bet he wasnt like this in the beginning, i wasnt also..

@MultiFreddy34

6 жыл бұрын

It's so true. And exactly how I became. This is what it's like. She sounds exactly like my ex. Mine was more aggressive though. But they are cut from the same disordered cloth. Thank God we escaped.

@luv2dancesalsa

6 жыл бұрын

I think HE'S setting up the situation to get emotional responses from her... she's the one getting emotional. He's staying calm. Y'all need to really figure out what is what regarding narcissism. It takes on many forms but USUALLY the one going crazy isn't actually the crazy one... they're being made to REACT. That's why the 'cure' is to go NO CONTACT. The answer is to BE BORING. The answer is to ignore any attacks that are irrelevant and stick to the subject. no justifying, arguing, defending or explaining. He pauses perfectly to give her a chance to react. Most narcs just lecture. She's not lecturing him. She's reacting to what he's doing. He's getting his supply. Listen VERY CAREFULLY to this recording. Remember... he knows he's recording it. She doesn't.

This poor guy, he sounds so sweet. I would love to be with a guy like him. That lady didn't deserve that guy. He's a gem. She had a good thing and she didn't treasure him. Narcs don't treasure you, they see you as a means to an end. That's what I've heard here, someone wanted to be a good spouse and the narc made excuses. Buddy, you're better off and hope that you're in a better place buddy. Thanks for sharing this.

@DP-hn6rl

5 жыл бұрын

Judai Winchester she said the most cruel and hurtful things when she’d get angry and then moments later act surprised that I was so upset by them. No apology, she’d just say, “well, you made me mad” One I’ll never forget “all you are to me is a 6’ tall guy with a 6 figure income and I can replace you with another one at the snap of my fingers”🤮🙅🏻‍♂️👩🏻

@BDCsSanctuary

4 жыл бұрын

@@DP-hn6rl Incredibly cruel girl. You're so much better off without that crap.

@MakaylaCole123

2 жыл бұрын

Girl me too he sounds amazing! Narcs get the best people and purposely f them up. Smh.

That's the sound of a heart being poured out into a bottomless pit.

@dalialovesdoggies4361

Жыл бұрын

Indeed

I wanted to tell myself I wasn't as pitiful as this man, but I pretty much was. Abuse after falling in love with a mirage can f you up good. I didn't beg and plead like him, but I can hear the same pain I felt. If you've been a victim of narcissistic abuse but only hear him as a narcissist, congrats, you probably aren't a co-dependent. You've got a leg up on us.

@joshgorsky5224

4 ай бұрын

well said, right there with ya man

Thank you to the subscriber who sent this in .. this is painful to listen to. I feel fear and pain in your heart. I hope you find strength in helping others and know you are worthy of real love. You shouldn’t have to make effort to be loved the way you deserve. At least not this kind of effort. Thank you for sharing. Nameste

Wow when he said “I literally could never treat you like that...I love you and I want to marry” that broke my heart! He should have walked away when she said you need to leave.

Damn! I wish I has seen these videos before I went to college. Thank God, I am married to a wonderful woman now.

This brings back painful flashbacks and triggers CPTSD

That example is like a carbon copy of the conversations I had.

@georgeponiris9525

5 жыл бұрын

Same. Every argument had to end with me affirming my devotion, and her not living up to any of the things she could contribute

@princhipessa1969

5 жыл бұрын

Same here 🤦🏻‍♀️ hard to hear since I’ve been on the receiving end except with much more stonewalling & bitterness.

@BMXsXeCRX

4 жыл бұрын

Same here. At greater length. Lightning their already light load of responsibilities, promising to go 99% of the way to her 1%. Not questioning her questionable actions like staying out with another guy until 2-3am several nights a month. Sounds like the guy in this video has a kid with her out of wedlock, like myself. I took care of her for almost 6 years of our 9 year relationship when she went off on a weekend rendezvous with her ex boyfriend a week before my child began school, and less than two weeks later dumped me for him. Oh, this was the third time in 9 years I was cheated on by the same guy. We hadn't been on one date since the birth of our child and a few weeks after I got kicked out she was regularly "out" leaving my 5 year old SLEEPING kid in the care of a family member with mental and physical disabilities while my child was unaware their mother was gone most of the night. I used to sound like the guy in this video but now, I would Never take her back, even if she begged me.

@chrispayne750

4 жыл бұрын

@BMXsXeCRX - Dude, I'm glad you got away from that cheating ex of yours. Remember to NEVER AGAIN let yourself down like that! When I was younger I also simped too hard for a couple of bitches and all it does is make these women lose all their respect for you! They may try to come crawling back to you after a future breakup though so be wary. They'll see you as easy fuel supply that they can gain from after a bad breakup, but DON'T take them back no matter how much she tells you she's sorry or "changed". I've heard it all. These Narcissist women are so toxic and they'll lie like crazy to get what they think they want. Also, you must remember that being too kind to someone who doesn't deserve it is actually a corrupt thing to do, because it PROMOTES and REINFORCES their bad behavior to continue! Stray Strong.

I have many recorded conversations that I had to use to remind myself that I was not crazy.

@Dr.JudeAEMasonMD

2 жыл бұрын

Me too. Texts. Emails. I finally recorded one of my mom’s rants just to make sure I wasn’t losing my mind.

@Joegarabet

2 жыл бұрын

its amazing how much u miss during a call, and how much you pickup when your listening to the recording later.

she told on herself a couple times. she said "i am awful." so she knows she is awful. she said "you think i am crazy." she didn't deny that she was crazy. she knows. i can only guess what she knows about herself, but if someone called me crazy (my narc ex did that), i would surely say i am not. i love these real life recorded right out of the narcs mouth to pick out the wily manipulations. thank you so much.

@thundavolt

6 жыл бұрын

That's what bugs me about myself. The woman I was with pretty much told me that she was every awful thing she turned out to be on her own. She obviously offered up that she was broken and she was working on it. Maybe, I thought I could help her.

@diannwhitaker6

6 жыл бұрын

She didn't admit to being crazy. She said YOU think I'm crazy. A narc would make you feel like you're an awful person. They will try to make others think you're an awful person. Narcs don't admit to any faults because they think they're better than you.

she doesn't love him. she is with someone else. it's over between them. that's all there is to it.

@tonykuli

5 жыл бұрын

zero tolerance when they are unfaithful!!

@sundipowellrn8258

3 жыл бұрын

Yup, and HE wont accept it. He is controlling.

@Feber2001

2 жыл бұрын

@@sundipowellrn8258 He's in shock.... she got him manipulated so well that he's denying it and he's trying so hard to grasp that.

What amazes me is how they do this not only in romantic relationships. I had a similar situation with a relative who I found myself giving too much to, and when I finally drew a gentle boundary, she ghosted, then did the exact same thing, played as if it were my fault and she was reacting to my cruelty. Amazing. She switched it around.

@jaklumen

5 жыл бұрын

I'm patiently waiting for more people to realize this. I was fortunate.. I married a fellow empath. But slowly, with her help, I realized I was surrounded by female narcissists in my family of origin, mostly those who married in. Narc abuse communities talk about such occurrences of abuse in romantic relationships all the time, but much less often do they discuss the narcissists in their own family, and I hope it changes, soon.

@darlenemullin7149

Жыл бұрын

They act like a rattlesnake, they always shift it back to you, defensive and angry.

Kinda wish I did not listen to this. It gave me flash backs. I'm kinda angry now 😩

@skullymoney4143

3 жыл бұрын

@@gmoney6595 😂🤣💯

@wilfigs9705

3 жыл бұрын

@@skullymoney4143 😂😂😂

He's crazy in love with her cos she pushed all the right buttons in the beginning of their relationship. She's an expert in collecting men and making them worship her. Classic narcissistic skills. I know this from own experience✌

@johnmiller-jf3ez

5 жыл бұрын

True

@THIS---GUY

4 жыл бұрын

My ex is the same way and wears trophies(jewelry) of past men

@NASASKA88

3 жыл бұрын

@orion9k Well said Sir!!!!! Its absolutely that. Empathic people are magnets for Narcs. They trap them with fake feelings in the start , just to treat them like garbage later.

@orion9k

3 жыл бұрын

Weird, I haven't been getting notifications from comment replies 🙏

@lauratheexplorer6390

3 жыл бұрын

The female narcissist is a seductress. They're amazing in bed & they're usually pretty attractive. But they don't have the capacity for love & real intimacy. They lack empathy. They exploit your love. You'll be used up by the end of the relationship.

I’m Divorced now and looking back I see how she never wanted to change and I kept begging her to. But I was also weak. I left. I gave up. I didn’t end it in a healthy way. I can see how the things she did damaged our marriage but I also see it was me. What I’m grateful for is videos and educational information like this that have helped me become a better man and I hope, someday I meet a lady who learned these things because sometime I think we grew up thinking the wrong way and that’s what keeps us from t Being the person we should be doing our best to be.

It's a horrible existence. Pouring your heart and soul out for them to see, and instead of gathering it up in their arms and cherishing it, cherishing YOU, they step on it, piss on it, rage at it, look at it with malice and contempt! It's insane! The harder I tried the more he seemed to loath me....and I kept blaming myself, like I was the one doing something wrong. I just had my 4 year free anniversary from the ex Narc and my 2 year wedding anniversary with my now husband who loves so deeply, fully and is all accepting. It's a miracle. We are both Narc survivors. Tip, everyone, if you can find someone who's been through this crap and is healed or on their own healing journey, don't let them go. We have both healed so much, together, side by side ❤❤❤

She: "But why?" He: "Because I love you!" Translation: She: "Why do you keep clinging on to me after I've been such a disloyal partner?" He: "I don't value myself enough to walk away from this abuse because I fear I might not be good enough and find someone else as easily as you did."

@maya-amf3325

4 жыл бұрын

dunno. I lived pretty much the same thing and to me it was more like this attitude I was discovering from her seemed like such a clash from what I knew of her that I was in total disbelief. I thought this can't be what she is like clearly there's something I don't understand, or maybe she's having a depression or whatever it is. It took me months to finally accept that she'd been like that all along. That this wasn't just an anomaly. It was me having been fooled this whole time. Years. That's hard to accept. And my mind was working quite hard to find all the possible holes or weaknesses in that new theory, to not have to throw out so much of what I thought I understood of the world. There's denial in this. The guy says he loves her. In fact he loves who he thought she was. And he can't accept yet that she never existed.

@TriXorcist

4 жыл бұрын

@@maya-amf3325 You're completely correct. Mine ex narc is also an alcoholic, and extremely covert. I never once heard him even raise his voice. I was so convinced that he was a good soul and just mixed up from his addiction that I stayed through so much abuse and neglect. Despite my genuine confusion, I do believe that additionally my general lack of self esteem and codependency helped me stay in a clearly unhealthy relationship. 😫

The saddest thing that he dont realize at the moment, is that all his talk will not help him. The discard is inevitable!! She lets him talk only to take as much supply as she can before the final discard.

@sweetbutapshycho

2 жыл бұрын

Right, but I didn’t learn until I left my ex-husband, that I should’ve saved my breath. They want you to give un to then say “ see you re like this and i, I, I and you did this and you you you 😑🤦🏽‍♀️🙄

Every time I get off the phone with my narcissistic family member, I say to myself, "Wait a minute, what the hell did she just say to me??" Always a delayed reaction, just can't get used to that behavior so you let it slide, then you think about it a little later, and DAMN, got me again!!

I've been in this guys shoes. I feel sorry for him. she doesn't deserve this man.

Oh my goodness how easily and fast it switches from narcisstist needing to change to victim willing to give even more and totally for free! So sad and infuriating in the same time! Damn how I hate manipulaton!

@candygirl7586

6 жыл бұрын

Givers give and taker take... The more we give only raises their expected "give me bar" higher! Only give to those Who Give Back!!!

I can't even begin to tell you how much this sickens me right down to my feet. I use to be that guy. Begging and pleading for her to stay because I truly believed that those wonderous days in the beginning were real and they didn't have to end. Believing with all my heart the deep down inside she really loved me and if i just give a little bit more, i could draw it all out of her and all would be well with the world and we would be happy but when she left and it all went bad and of course i found out later she got rid of me for some douche bag, i was crushed to the point of wanting to die by whatever means. I was real close more than once. It took months for me to even begin to want to take a deep breath again. That was almost four years ago and i havent seen or heard from her which tells me that i meant nothing to her and probably never did. I havent dated anyone since. I highly doubt i would ever even consider taking her back if for no other reason but because i can't trust her and to me, trust is everything. I will, under no circumstances ever allow myself to love someone like that again and i mean ever. It's just too dangerous for me. It probably means ill die alone but thats ok. I would rather die alone and at peace with myself than die with someone that I've given every bit of myself to who really doesn't give a shit about me. At least ill die with what little self respect i have left.

My ex said “She understands me”. She accepts me for how I am. You are nothing like her. This was one week after I left him.

@DP-hn6rl

6 жыл бұрын

the triangulation, belittling, cruel indifference, it literally feels non-human. I didn't understand as it happened bc I had no experience with NPD, but she literally wanted to destroy me. After this conversation, she text me a couple hours later and asked me to come stay the night with her. Like a fool, I went back a laid in my own bed after giving her an hour long oiled massage. I felt so pathetic and used. I look back and think how could I have no respect for myself like that, but that's exactly what happens to people when they're isolated and their sense of self is slowly eroded. Her new partner doesn't understand her or accept her for who she is... no one can when no one knows who you really are.

Wow. This made me cringe because I remember begging my ex not to leave me after bringing up things he needed to change and bad behavior. The very first major argument we had in which he ran off for three days after I found out a girl had text him about meeting up in a hotel. I brought up the conversation in a way to show I was willing to listen to him and be understanding and he blew up, flipped the conversation on me saying that his mom always said not to trust women like me who would dare look at his phone and ran out angrily telling me we were done. I was stunned, apologized profusely, told him I'd never do it again, but that I had been feeling really off about things and he wouldn't talk to me so I felt like I didn't have much choice to find out the truth and he ran off into the night. I called and called and he ignored me for 3 days with an occasional pickup to tell me he was having fun with his guys. Finally, after some game-playing he came by to "talk" and made it all about me and how he forgave me and how he never wanted to leave me. I remember thinking back on that conversation the deeper i got into the relationship and how his infedility or potential infedility was never addressed. I even tried and he seemed like he was goign to break up with me if I did so I was taught to keep my mouth shut. What others don't see is that this person has completely flipped their behavior on you. You are almost in a shocked state and wanting to do anything to relieve that sudden pain that seems to come from no where. You are not weak. You are normal and hurt and confused-- just the place they need you to be to get you do anything they want.

I really like the way you put the words on this video to help us understand what is going on , Surviving To Thriving. I would not be able to correctly interpret it otherwise. I would be lost because that is how I always feel in a narcissistic relationship in which I am the victim. Thank you very much.

I dated a guy just like this, he was impossible for me to leave because he made me feel so guilty and he told me he couldn’t live without me! I kept sabotaging the relationship to push his boundaries and nothing worked. She has self esteem issues and doesn’t feel she’s worth loving number 1. When he tells her how much he loves her and how he’d never ever leave her, she gets really quiet and asks him “why” “Why do you wanna be with me and love me?!” She’s listening to him, all I hear is him talking and her listening mostly! After 5 years of trying to leave my X boyfriend, he ended up killing himself by means of laying down on the railroad tracks and was decapitated in less than a year of our break up, and he did it on his Birthday, right near my house! I’ve lived with so much guilt already for years trying to leave him and then when I did it was too late for him. If ANYONE IS IN A RELATIONSHIP WHERE YOU KNOW YOU DO NOT LOVE HIM, OR HER LEAVE BEFORE ITS TOO LATE!

@rubencaballerollamas2176

4 жыл бұрын

you rlly going over dead men huh, no respect funny how u recognize urself in this at least u know it ur self

@habibahmed6473

2 жыл бұрын

Listening...My ex narc dud the very same thing...it’s a tactic she used to never actually answer to any of my concerns and worse still have a poker face expression on her face that literally showed intense process of the information I was providing but never even letting go of anything through body language which sent me into further turmoil. The last time I saw her was a few days after I’d caught her cheating. Desperate to put things right I went to her apartment at 3am and she went to have a shower. When I commented on it being a strange hour to have a bath (hinting I guess at I knew the new supply had possibly been over) she turned around and shouted “so what are saying I can’t have a shower when I want?” I waited for around 30 minutes (another tactic she used to use to ignore my presence to wind me up) Finally she came out and when I said calmly almost begging just like this poor soul I wanted to fix things, she stood up and shouted almost like in a demonic voice “this is my place you get the f**k out! I remember getting angry and shouting back at her as I was leaving that I thought she was a narcissist and I’d never ever return. Even though I’d said that she messaged a few minutes later and told me to leave her alone. Only to call me the following day as if nothing happened to tell me something insignificant. My mistake? I got upset over the phone started saying sorry for shouting asking to see her again only to be told she was very busy that night and was going out...it’s been 3 months since I last heard from her...and I’m still in a mess. But yes back to the listening it’s a tactic they use to further torture you or process how they will blame shift or even just not bother answering at all. You end up filling the bloody gap yourself!!

@Feber2001

2 жыл бұрын

Or maybe, just don't lead men on. When we truly love a woman, we want to give her the world. It's scary because no one really cares about that anymore.... people just leave even though they could've had feelings in the beginning. And then they "play" around with your feelings. It's abusive

@greatestever80sbaby

Жыл бұрын

You seem like a unaware narcissist.... 100%...

My NPD ex was saying when I was talking about my emotions and the way how I've seen the relationship was: "I feel exactly the same". So all focus was on me now not on her. This people cannot take responsibility for anything.

Dear God, please ober this man and his beautiful heart. As a high empath, I feel for him. Please teach him that he is worthy and loveable and does not need to beg anyone for love. I pray for healing for us all 🙏🏿

He's begging for her, I know this cause I too was in a relationship like this and this is all too familiar sadly. So much of my life waisted away always trying to change me always trying to make him happy. 27 years gone....if your just dating someone like this don't get married to them please don't, I know you think it may help the relationship but it won't they don't and never will love you they love themselves and if they ever do anything nice it's to benefit them in some way shape or form.

This woman is actually making it quite plain that she is self absorbed and doesn't want to make any commitments to anyone. She's not exactly beating around the bush. Not really blaming him even. As bad news as she obviously is, she's playing it straight with this guy, and he's begging her to be something that she isn't.

I learned the hard way after dating a narc. As a woman, I was on the same dead end, always giving, always loving, being loyal, when things went sour, I blindly thought I needed to change or do anything to “save the relationship”. After a year apart, I stupidly went back, but the second time, my eyes were open. I called him out on being a narc. I blasted him for the manipulation, and let him walk out, without any resistance. That wounded his massive ego far more than it hurt my broken heart. Instead of being depressed, I spent the day out with friends and had an awesome time. I rubbed it into him that he was supposed to be there, but I kept enjoying my life with my friends. I’m sure it killed him inside. I felt so sad for this young, broken hearted man. I hope he finds love with a woman who treats him the same way. Never accept one-sided relationships, they will drain your emotions dry. My advice for him would be to spend some time just being single and enjoying normal life. When he is ready, he will be able to move on. God bless.

He moves out, she moves on. He comes over late at night to keep her awake and love bomb her. She doesn't trust what he's saying. He's recording her without her knowledge. This is gross.

@acloserlook5823

4 жыл бұрын

I agree it is very hard to understand who is the abuser or the victim, but I guess he sought help from a professional whose job is to point out his every flaw so he can't be the narc.

@Thefishingcaddy

4 жыл бұрын

He’s clearly the one being hurt here. The fact you would twist this I bet your a narcissist

As soon as you realize you are with a narcissist, the next step is to realise you are codependent. Only then can healing begin. The narcissist is showing you your wounds. The good news is that one can heal codependency, but rarely from narcissistic behaviour.

@maximososa9181

2 жыл бұрын

I really hope this is true! thanks

@feelingbetternaturally1099

2 жыл бұрын

@@maximososa9181 That is my experience.

Hearing this brings tears to my eyes. Very hard to hear when your trying to heal from a narcissist and their abuse....The pleading, the begging, the trying to make sense as to what does not make sense, the comparing, the stonewalling, no remorse or compassion.....the false illusions and love that the charmed us with... Nothing hurts more then being compared to the new supply, you loose all self respect and confidence within yourself. when this happened to me, I became just what this gentleman became....some call it “Pathetic or desperation “! Funny how we react to this emotion called “Love”... I’m just sorry that I wasted my Love on someone that was not worthy of it! My healing is a slow process and I’m grasping love in an entirely different way....my goal is loving and trusting myself first....I thank the narcissist for teaching me this! For those of you that are dealing with this nightmare of a monster, I promise you each day gets brighter..... wishing all bright blessings and love!!

I'm going to come at a different angle here and say this sounds very similar to arguments I have with my narcissistic ex. I'm very closed off and unwilling to talk trying to stand firm in my convictions, meanwhile hes buttering me up with sweet nothings trying to pull down the walls "I love you, I want to marry you, please talk to me" basically exactly what this guy is saying, when just a couple days before he was telling me what a "stupid cunt" or "dumb bitch" I was and emotionally abusing me so bad to the point I was in the fetal position crying. Soooooo i mean...i understand her behavior. Who knows. Maybe he abused her behind the scenes.

This and the previous recording are beyond familiar. This is almost word for word our arguments near the end. It's chilling to see just how similar they are with their tactics. The triangulation with the new supply, the treating you like you never meant anything, the constant shifts and prevarication, the "why would you want to be with me if I'm so terrible?", the way you become broken down to the point of caving on all they want and begging them. They peel you like an onion until there's nothing left but a shell who begs for the privilege of being trauma bonded.

I decided to limit communication to text and email only. No phone calls. Period. Worked great for me. Drove him crazy. You can unplug at any time. Protect yourself. Take as long as you want to formulate your response, rather than reacting under stress.

@anotherdroid493

5 жыл бұрын

Lancelot Dufrane They get so mad at any delay in being at their service! Meanwhile they aren’t there at all!

"I'll work on my issues later when I can..." OMG word for word... This is incredible. I'm speechless.

This made me so sad! I'm him in female form but I have been on this treadmill for 31 years and literally no hope of getting out. For those of you who think that's pathetic, I wouldn't wish this on anyone!! Watch sleeping with the enemy.....that's just a tiny glimpse!

@newoaknl

6 жыл бұрын

Ra Ra reading your comment take the step. Get OUT! Exit plan and skip this begging part. Its not manly also. Watch some #MGTOW video's. Helps to get ur manhood back. For females same advice except the mgtow video's:)

@DP-hn6rl

6 жыл бұрын

Thanks for the validation. I'm can look back on this time and see how pathetic I sound. I'm not proud of it, but I just thought when my fiance says she loves me-that she means it. To come home to a supercharged range rover in front of your house, the locks changed, and your fiance texts you to say "leave, its over, you can pick up your things on the lawn tomorrow" is enough to make anyone unstable. I just couldn't understand at the time how anyone could behave so cruelly and be human.

@newoaknl

6 жыл бұрын

D P3 thats why you need as a man, always b in control and not let the woman also get control (change locks, keys etc). Rather a controlfreak than the man in your story....

@DP-hn6rl

6 жыл бұрын

ya, ironically I am not a person who feels insecure or needs control in relationships and I never have been. I think I was just reeling in shock and trying to grasp onto any shred of truth but unfortunately I was looking for truth from a pathological liar and listening to her words instead of her actions. I was just naive... I didn't know anything about NPD and couldn't understand how my fiance could tell me she loves me and then lie, cheat, and treat me like a complete stranger and nuisance within a couple days when in fact I had to get an apartment because her abuse crossed over into the physical form. It was crazy-making.

@newoaknl

6 жыл бұрын

D P3 i know exactly what u mean. My character and judicially education helped me. I can understand that people who dont have those abilities will not be able to do what i can do because of my knowledge and character. So we all react different. But never ever begging no more in your life. I hope this comment helps you. ! D P3 Exactly.... sorry to read your story. Next to watching narcissism video's watch also mgtow video's too. Helps you to get ur manhood back and never ever begging... a woman narcissistic or not. D P3 ... I still show up at her work to wash my car. Not for me or break No Contact, Because i come there for years b4 her time. I will never and dont speak. I dont look or give even my times worth to her. She is and has become a person which i do not know. Now since december 2017 taking a new image and hiding behind religion. Very dangerous. To get new unsuspected victims/ good peiple. God this God that. Sure in her delusional mind shes like "oh he cant get over me. Hes showing up at my work". I know her boss (director and owner of that company) and we emailed back and forth back and have my own company. The female covert somatic gorgeous looking Narc in sept 2017 emailed me to get me not showing up at her work anymore "so everyone can see ur not over me" hahaha:-). At first i was treated a bit different (smear campaign) but her effect has worked out now. She the Narc is soo afraid of me for exposure. I am now a threat to her. So i dont give a shit and every month, i show up to wash my car overthere. I gave her a total new life in a new country debt free, which i paid for. She discarded me within 2 days. After her several attempts to control my life and every aspect of it, sabotaging my company, getting my own schedule overloaded with things, always working against me. 6.5 years relationship down the drain in which i was the only one, trying to make it work. She had me under her narcissistic spell, with a 2 - 8 year old son to which i became a father to. Her kid will b soo damaged. Next to my own hurt that hurts me too. But of its you in the video, never ever beg and with infidelity: 20 seconds BAM- get OUT. Theres the door.... So me also was fooled, good educated developed guy and they narcissist females are so immensly good in their con-jobs. Amazing acting and also i fell for it. Me, i mean wtf? I had and needed 4 months to really recover... physically mentally. And you must let the healing process happen with all the tears that comes with it. But never ever beg. Never !

The real translation is, she wants to break up but she doesn’t have the skills to do it. She doesn’t love you. He needs to not chase her.

He’s waisting his breath so sorry for him! She doesn’t get it she never loved it will never work.

@makaelaness

3 жыл бұрын

Wasting no waisting

Man this is the same conversations i had with her! She actually said the same words. Also the thing about the new guy "not being serious, just to help her to moce on" and when she says "move on why you cant move on like i do" .. wow this is so validating they're all the same! Also when she says she dont plan to change in the future. And u talk the same things i talked and explained to her like how this attitude will ruin her future relationships. They cant! Self reflect.......

@DP-hn6rl

6 жыл бұрын

She's saying "what if I'm not ready to be married or in a serious relationship" 2 weeks after picking up the custom engagement ring I designed for her. Not to mention she go the first engagment ring from me almost a year earlier and she's been engaged several times prior:/ She was laying in bed with me and her child days prior to this conversation claiming to love me and want to get married. Literally 72hrs prior. Asking me why I can't "just move on" when my fiance dumps me after nearly 2 years by letting me come home to changed locks and a supercharged range rover parked out front.

@pebbles92able

9 ай бұрын

My ex predator would say...nope, I will not change. I am such a nice guy. 🙄

This really amazing -- especially to hear the actual conversation and then to see the descriptions that are written to guide us through. I am amazed about how subtle it all is in real life -- the text describing what is happening helps us to realize what is going on.

I know I'm 2 years late to this party, but at 3:46 a perfect example this is when I confronted my father for the first time about his abusive language towards me when I was growing up. At first he denied that he ever did it, when I pressed forward he sighed and said "that's just how adults talk". Not only did he gaslight me but he tried to convince me that the language he used was normal and I was the one being ridiculous for bringing it up.

To the Subscriber who sent in the recording. I remember hearing the first recording that you sent to Michelle. Female Narcissist Discarded - Her Reaction. You were hurt in the recording played today. The previous recording is her losing it when you gave up and you'd had enough. You've saved yourself years of heartache and misery by getting out. Good man. Take care.

@DP-hn6rl

6 жыл бұрын

Thank you for your kind words. It means a lot.

@CH-in8dm

6 жыл бұрын

OMG...I'm female....been having exactly the same type of conversations with my narc husband of 17 yrs for the last 9 weeks after being discarded for pointing out his bad behaviour.....these people are textbook boring true to type disorded people who will NEVER respond rationally or feel or value love and commitment....I'm only trying to play the game cos I don't want to lose my home and animals....you sound young and willing to make a good life and relationship with someone....find someone genuine....these narcs are fake dead humans will never feel and you will never get from them even if you give your all...find a real person with love and empathy and a sane brain...good luck...I truly understand your hurt

@fionaaleksoska

6 жыл бұрын

D P3 wow that was really difficult to listen to. You've had a lucky escape! Go be free and happy and find someone who truly loves and respects you. She sounds like a piece of shit. I dont think my husband is quite this bad. I tried to leave him this week but he's agreed to come to therapy so i guess i have to give him a chance. He says he wants to change and for us to stay together. Time will tell if his actions match his words.....but i think he's just saying what i want to hear to stop me from leaving....

@fionaaleksoska

6 жыл бұрын

Thanks SuperMiichii007. He has come to 1 session, acted all apologetic like he never realized what he was doing is harmful. Now he's refusing to ever go back, still in denial that his behavior is the problem. I doubt he will ever truly believe it. He says he does but i can tell by his expressions he doesn't mean it, he's acting all sarcastic instead of sincere. It's annoying as fuck!

@DP-hn6rl

6 жыл бұрын

They just buy time and triangulate you in therapy. Unless you see someone who specializes in Cluster B disorders (rare as hens teeth) you'll likely be told you need to try harder and other BS. If a Cluster B goes to therapy with you, its almost a guarantee that they know the jig is up and they'll be looking to secure the next primary supply while leading you on regardless of the length of your "transaction". No Narc is going to repeatedly subject themselves to the potential wounding of therapy unless they think they can turn it all on you. Its not in this audio clip but mine literally said in the last moments of our conversation "I just booked a counselor, but I guess it doesn't matter now because you're leaving" but she went a couple times and then dropped out. She used it as an excuse to hoover me into watching her child while she hooked up with another guy even after I moved out. I should've known that no counselors have EMDR sessions at 8pm:(

I'm embarrassed for him... because that was ME.

@carlafreise3153

6 жыл бұрын

Wish you and I could talk....seriously. My husband is the narc. We are separated. Do I dare give out my number? Sounds like I'm way older than you so it's not like that but maybe we can enlighten each other. I've done loads of research on this and Im so compassionate I researched what causes people to be this way. He didn't want to talk about that either. I don't know how old this video is but what the heck 210-724-4909. I have recordings too....ugh and I look awful and pathetic! I'm feel your pain.

@themoonlightbandit237

6 жыл бұрын

Carla Freise please for the love of god never ever ever ever never put your phone number out there on youtube for anyone and everyone to see ever again. That's a bad idea. You never know what can come from that.

@Mohammadaafag

6 жыл бұрын

JMFD how long did it take you to get over a narc discard?

@legginglovers966

5 жыл бұрын

Me too...tears...

@bguy86

5 жыл бұрын

JMFD this was me too .. my ex did all this still got with the other guy and got pregnant with him . Moved him in within weeks of me moving out

This is so spot on! THANK YOU! I really just realize that I am not alone dealing with these kind of people!

Christ, if I heard that from my husband I would do anything for the man.

@DivineDissident

3 жыл бұрын

I know right!

@lauratheexplorer6390

3 жыл бұрын

He sounds like a wonderful guy. He deserves so much better! Find a woman to love you bro. Like truly.

@sundipowellrn8258

3 жыл бұрын

I heard this everyday. Then the abuse would start in fu force as soon as I would let him back in What in the world.

@DivineDissident

3 жыл бұрын

@@sundipowellrn8258 really?? 😳 wow

@sundipowellrn8258

3 жыл бұрын

@@DivineDissident yes!!!!!!!!!!

Dude, this woman doesn’t deserve you. Walk away . She doesn’t want a relationship.

@charlottecourson5333

6 жыл бұрын

It's so easy to say and think that! After 6 long years... I finally file for divorce and he changes his mind yet no explanations as to why "all the lies" is just mind blowing to me! Especially when they know you know yet won't explain to make your heart right. I truly think my husband does love me and the girls, but then again I dont' think he understands what love is NOR HOW TO TREAT HIS WIFE. Hhe' s such a follower and I feel that he believes I"ll never give up on him..... LIKE SHE SAID EVERYONE HAS THEIR BREAKING POINT! I PHONE 10 JUST SO HE CAN UPGRADE HIS VIDEOS, MONEY FOR WHAT I FEEL IS THE MOST SHADIEST THINGS, HIDING HIS ACTIVITIES THROUGH ANOTHER BANK ACCOUNT, yet tells me he's doing nothign wrong. I feel sometimes hes playign games but its sad that a grown 33 year old man woudl play games to the point his wife making 6 figures is to the emotional stress level of losing her job. GAMES ARE NOT FOR ADULTS ESPECIALLY FOR A MARRIAGE.... trust me it's so easy for the outside world to tell us this but it's so hard to leave when they do have the "BRING HER BACK IN" SHOW HER A GLIMPSE OF WHAT SHE WANTS...

@charlottecourson5333

6 жыл бұрын

WOW THIS IS SO NERVRACKING BC I FEEL AS THOUGH THE MINUTE I ACCEPT HIS "IM DONE WITH UR CRAZY PHYSCO SELF" IS WHEN HE BECOMES LOVING AGAIN ... this time videos posted on tumblr, getting an iphonex really linked lots of things and showed me since Sept of 2017 this man has been bringing "trix" to the house, recording doing all sorts of sexual acts and bragging "in the raw, no cover"... yet he came home and told me i was a skank that just wanted to get gang banged!!! Like everything from the "yang looks good in ur new red van" to "gangbang" "trix" it all makes sense now as to when he would go off on me out of nowhere! i'm so nervous but definitly on my way to #4evernarcfree myself! wish me luck!

@-MaryPoppins-

6 жыл бұрын

valentine ophj go ahead and see if you have any arguments in text hun. It’ll help you see clearer. The last conversation I had with my to be ex husband, he changed his tone completely because I wasn’t letting him control the conversation. He became “sad” sounding and said I’ll talk to you later, instead of I love you goodbye. To anyone else they wouldn’t see what the problem is. But my husband only talked that way to make sure that I’m upset. When he said I’ll talk to you later, he made sure the hang up immediately afterwards. He made it seem like it was MY FAULT he had to hang up, then I find out he’s actually calling his mom and Dad after me so he just had to go. When I called him out about it he froze mid step and stared at me. He had no idea I wasn’t THAT dumb and he had no idea that I could NOT feel bad 😂

@Lyricist1anda2

6 жыл бұрын

When I set a boundary to be talked to respectfully, he asked me if I was turning into a bitch. I couldn't believe it since I had always talked to him with my full attention to listen to him. I find narcs also don't listen, they are easily distracted. Sometimes they insult you, knowing full well they're doing it, by always asking you to repeat yourself, then the silly grin on their face.

@ViolaHGlaze

6 жыл бұрын

Wonder Woman .... Amen this chick sounds like my ex fiancé.....the man needs to leave skid marks at her front door

She's definitely personality disordered. She sits there expecting more, more more but never ever gives anything in return. She loves it when he turns on the praise but never says anything good about him really. When he finally sees what's happening and dumps her oh, it's all his fault -- of course. This woman does not care. Period.

Once you truly understand narcissism, you don't heal from discard, you celebrate it.

Wow, he ripped his heart out of his chest, gave it to her and she kicked a field goal with it!

How sad, I've never had a man love me like this 😞 but then again i dont feel he is healthy either. He really needs to except that she does not love him narc or not

@PetarVodogaz

6 жыл бұрын

Being in a relationship with a Narcissist makes you unhealthy in mind and body. I am still struggling to get back to my old self.

@DP-hn6rl

6 жыл бұрын

I'm nearly a year no contact and 6 months past the legal smear campaign that cost me $12,000 after I left when the abuse became physical. I still struggle daily to find a reason to get out of bed. Anhedonia, nightmares, flashbacks, pervasive nausea and anxiety. Just emptiness and a lack of joy. I truly feel as though my soul was stripped from me:/

Yep. Been in THIS lovely position. Then I left! It was very shocking and painful and awful. These people are BEASTS.

Thank you for posting this. I was in a relationship with a covert narcissist and didn’t know it. Couldn’t figure out how or why it ended like it did and started researching. Hearing him and your subtitles and him begging, brought me back to the last couple of conversations I had with her. Thank you. I am truly glad it’s over, and I have been on a quest to heal, gain energy and dig deep into my soul.

Why does he have it in his mind that she's to be his wife? It's like he's abusing himself more than the supposed narcissist is abusing him.

In my opinion, his approach sounds like that of a narcissist. Knowing that he’s recording the entire exchange not only gives him the upper hand, but it also gives him every reason to act as the heartbroken, devoted victim, when it doesn’t actually sound to me like that’s the truth of the matter. It feels contrived and manipulative from his end, and exhausted and disconnected from her end. I wouldn’t be so quick to point the finger at her being the problem; it’s a two-way street, and neither of them sounds completely innocent to me.

Just a thought : Situation or a relationship If I / you can’t change it If I / you can’t influence it Then leave it !!

@darlalong1957

3 жыл бұрын

I don't want to change or influence the relationship...DONE.

Unfortunately my narcissist sounds just like the guy in this conversation. Unlike this woman, I’m not in another relationship, do to us not being completely over. My narc has said “he will do anything for me too” but at the end of the day it’s not really going to happen. They will still rage, threaten, abuse, blame, lie and deny.

This was 19 year old me with my 29 year old boyfriend. Utterly hopeless. She is repelled.

Man. This guy has to realize that she can never be what he needs. He’s an acquisition in her eyes... nothing more. Somewhere he lost his independence to this woman. I hope he will be ok. Because if he stays with her, she will drain him of everything. :(

Brave and courageous dude for sharing this.

It’s like he’s not even there. Poor guy. What a damaged and damaging girl. Thanks for this.

Goal to take focus off of their bad actions blame shifting - your self doubt- then stonewalling (walking away) banging your head against a wall - stop stonewalling- you think giving more is the answer. It ISN'T the answer. The answer is to walk away. Run away. Fast. Now!

He’s so sweet. God, I would give anything to hear a man say this sort of stuff to me with such sincerity. Not because I’d actually take advantage of someone’s willingness to do anything for me, but just to know someone loved me that much. She obviously would never love him and would abuse his selfless love for her. I hope he finds a good woman that is willing to give as much as he is willing to give.

@chipbutterfield6403

6 жыл бұрын

Dude he don't love her. He doesn't even see her as a real person.

@moonlitbalcony2861

6 жыл бұрын

Eden Dog right I would give anything to have a man like this too. I've never had a good man.

I totally get what she's saying here he is trying to get her to talk at 11 o'clock at night and it was soon as he said what I don't understand is I knew it wasn't going in the right direction. And what she is saying is the other guy doesn't do all that.

He left her over three times. Then she moved on. He won’t leave her alone. She doesn’t want him.

This video more than anything I have learned has convinced me of what I was dealing with. Narcissistic women have been a recurring theme in my life. My last relationship left me so confused because she was so covert. Listening to this conversation on one hand made me feel like such a fool because I just had it last August! That being said I feel so validated because I did realize what I was dealing with and walked away. Thank you so much for what you do, I have been listening and learning for years, even though I allowed myself to get burned again the fallout has been minimal because of what I have learned from you, and others.

Hes begging her for a life of grief. Poor guy.

In this video 13:00, I can see the man is also become manipulative in a way of convincing the other party following his own ideas of hw the relationship should be instead of taking the actions of what he did as contributor on the issue.

The day I walked out on my narcissist he said "If you leave, don't think you can come back." Later he emailed me to say "Come back, the cat misses you." When I still didn't go back i received further messages "All my friends hate you," and legal threats....(He didn't have any friends.

Ugh this poor guy is killing me!!!! She will never treat him how he deserves.

omg yes, i would confront my ex fiancé narcissist about him crossing my boundaries with other females, he’d get up set, stonewall me, call my insecure, jealous, and that i have trust issues. turns out all this time he was cheating and lying to me even after he proposed to me. he always threatened to break up with me anytime i confronted him on his behavior. ugh so annoying i hate that i allowed him to treat me that way. i was so obsessed and brainwashed. he would minimize cheating on me and doesn’t feel bad. i hate him

Wow, I was that guy. Not that extreme, but I see the tactics she was using so clearly.

Those people do not deserve a sincere conversation because they will NEVER change. They will only upgrade their game. And they will use the things you told them. You will be complice to their improved game. A closed door, no explanation and go on with your life!

This is truly eye opening and heartbreaking because I have said these same words to mine and got and continue to get the same response and treatment. It's hard when your heart feels this way for a person who you receive no love or empathy from.

What i hear in this conversation is a guy who has no self respect and a woman who doesnt want him but couldn't say its over and walk away. She listens and gives him time to speak. She is quite polite really. My advice is man up and find a new girl who wants what you are selling.

@SuperHelloMyFriends

4 жыл бұрын

I think I agree with the man above. I feel like I listened to all the tapes with this woman and what I hear is they at some point were connected, then that fell apart, but they continued to live together... but that fell apart, now he’s leaving, while recording her, while begging and pleading... but that’s not working... I don’t see the narcissism. She’s right to think his intentions aren’t pure, they aren’t. He’s been talking to an expert about her being a narcissist and recording her without her knowledge and then sent that infor to the Internet where it has been broadcast for all to see... I’m sorry even if she is a narcissist, I mean so is he. He’s doing all this while he professes he’s not like the others and that he wants to love her forever... But he’s recording her. And she isn’t into him anymore. And he wanted to move out. But she was already in another relationship. I mean it was toxic for sure. But I feel like the term narcissist is being over used here.

@Safar.369

4 жыл бұрын

Actually your replaying this way is a first sign that you will fall deep for a woman like that. ( just continue read please ). What they do is , she jumps all over him the first stage of the relationship. Making him a star of porn movie in bedroom. She shows him every support a man can imagine of his wife while dating phase. Very loyal & very submissive female picture. A normal human being man have conscious, right ? So he start to get softer with her, tinder in talk even when stat he doesn’t like this boundary to be violated. But she will never stop ;) Imagine her like a beautiful plant. He believes it’s beautiful. In this stage, the ugly insects in that beautiful plant start showing, one by one. So, he kills the first one, then the second, then there’s again this beautiful plant standing clean with no weird shit out of it. Then the cycle goes. In this stage, she’s protecting those insects & shit with her life. Saying, nothing goes out of me. You just see something else. The insects is in your own house, they just pass by & you just look at the exact moment where those ugly insects under my Amazon leaves. Well, it doesn’t matter now, cuz he’s stuck in that tender phase, his mind is playing tricks on him while it’s not & it’s already fucken late. Btw, when She has his trust 500% ok, she shows him deliberately her cheating after math ( marks or something) or she starts using any normal skin marks, wounds which are in certain places & play a short film the night before, then shows him next day. And give him a really stupid reason for them so the cancer of paranoia starts in his mind. Anyway, this is a man who’s completely destroyed. Actually, the people around her will reaction exactly like you. This is her power all over you all. So please be my guest & imagine if this happens to one of your friends & you hear this conversation. What will be your reaction when you discover what she really was?. How you will be shocked telling a story like this to your friends for years man. Cuz your perception of reality is also distorted by her. Hope you understand how things don’t appear the way you see in their world. This is why all of this buzz about narcissists. Their victims don’t recover from mental sickness for a very long time. One thing to watch out for, males & females. When ever someone ( Narc or not ) you’re seeing tells you at the beginning certain things that they appear to be unlogical / not matching ! Well, this will be a very shity road a head of you

She sounds very young or very immature. She knows she isnt good enough for him which hurts her narc ego so pushing him away which is good for the guy. Hes better off without her

@DP-hn6rl

6 жыл бұрын

Thank you for the validation. I've been out for 6 months and with the help of channels like this and my counselor, I've found my voice again and know I'm lucky to be free without having been married or had children with her. She is vindictive and cruel to the father of her daughter with no regard for her daughter. I feel sorry for him but mostly for her daughter and the cruel things I witnessed while living there.

@daughterofgodwarriorofchrist17

6 жыл бұрын

D P3 Im happy for you. You sound like a genuine caring person and u deserve someone that cares about u the same. Don't settle for anything less. God bless

@charlottecourson5333

6 жыл бұрын

WOW THAT IS #SOONPOINT I wrote a couple books earlier but this is the the JIST!

I’ve said so many of these things, verbatim. Thank you for sharing this

We have to reciprocate our kindness in proportion to what we are gifted with. I have a lot so I give a lot. But when I encounter someone who has a lot and takes a lot but shares nothing, I walk away and never look back.

I just relived many of my own conversations listening to this. This sounds sick, but now at least I know I'm not the only one. They make every attempt to leave you penny-less, without your kids, and with your name ruined with all friends, family, co-workers and employers. I also saw the "I am not going to deal with this now, I'll deal with it later" attitude. The projection of trust issues due to factual concern due to cheating... Then there is robot sex... I'll give you some, but I'll make damn sure it feels like you're raping a sand bag.

To the fellow who recorded this: Stay strong my friend and go the path of No Contact. I have been where you are. I ended the relationship to my long term ex because the cycles of abuse of verbal and emotional abuse were getting worse. But after breaking up with her I did try contacting her to be told by her she was happily dating someone else. It is painful and hurtful and from that point on I did do full no contact. It takes months and even a few years to get back to where you were mentally and emotionally. Please brother, know one thing, you do not deserve that type of treatment. We fell in love with psychopaths who use emotional masks as weapons. To some people commenting negatively; I've begged my ex, I've done it all as well because at that point of time I felt I was in love with someone I didn't want to lose out of my life. People are quick to judge but those who shouldn't judge are those who have been through this hell whether its a male or female narcissist/cluster b personality disorder.

@Bar_Bar27

6 жыл бұрын

Petar Vodogaz ive been through the same thing. I havnt listened yet to the recording but im sure its not different or worse than what i had. They are all the same. I read the comments and im shocked at how people react and blame the guy.. its like most of them dont even understand that this is what happens with a narc. Not only women beg and plead or even cry.. men are the same when it comes to narcissist women

This demonstration of a narc in action helps the listener to discover the parallels across their personal experiences with their narc. It drives reality home.

Two words: Get Out. Thanks for this superb analysis. Made so many things crystal clear.