What a relief to hear a therapist saying that forgiven IS a Western morality created by perpetrators.

@m.scotsimpson5725

Ай бұрын

It’s actually an eastern philosophy brought to human consciousness by Christ.

@mishaanton5436

Ай бұрын

I bet the Greek philosophers talked about this. For sure the Prophet Jesus did. That Prophet's follower 1 of the 12 also wrote~ don't cast your pearls before swine least they trample them under their feet and turn and rend you!

@aveleedeleon7694

Ай бұрын

@@mishaanton5436 ​​⁠ Jesus is a little more than a prophet, he’s the Master of our universe.

@tsmith3522

29 күн бұрын

I forgive to move on healthily. To totally detach from a hater, leave their presence. Drop, cut, leave their atmosphere and create your own where you are accepted and validated within your own rightships to living.

@ruthslater6364

25 күн бұрын

Amen to that. I have always thought that. I'm 77 years old I honestly never heard all that forgiveness stuff ever. It crazy

I wish an attorney, judge, doctors would get education on narcissistic abuse

@loriallen9237

Ай бұрын

Amen!

@staceystrukel1917

Ай бұрын

But half of them ARE narcissists!

@phyllistouchstone7136

Ай бұрын

@@staceystrukel1917 true. It’s a narcissist world.

@sarajohn6855

Ай бұрын

Justice system caters to Narcissism.

@theforensicbadass

Ай бұрын

I agree. I'm trying to get laws changed to initiate this. I became a Advocate as a forensic profiler to help people get through court, and work with their resource team members like attorneys and police. It's time we start demanding these changes with our politicians. Wishing is a codependent thing. Taking the action to make the changes is a healthy independent thing. There's a big difference when we become healthy and take action instead of wishing things to get better.

Living with a narcissistic person, you develop weird and unhealthy behaviors, thought patterns, and habits to try to work around theirs. And I love it when people say, "just leave". Anyone who's been a victim knows what I'm talking about. Have you ever seen a cocooned meal in a spider's web get up and walk out?

@lucyt-c8092

Ай бұрын

how about changing YOUR thinking.. You are the spider… planning your exit …

@jacquelinegrace3

Ай бұрын

@@lucyt-c8092 ❓🤔

@tomreeves175

Ай бұрын

Thanks for that ,I can a hundred percent relate.much love to you

@naomi4836

Ай бұрын

I hear you. Took me 23 years but turned physical so I ran. It wasn’t until I left that I have learnt all about it. It was never me, still trying to strengthen myself. I hope you find your strength and you can exit in a safe way. ❤

@JaceFalcon

28 күн бұрын

Borderline cocoons are ideal to try with narcissists

You don’t have to forgive publicly or directly to a person who offended you. The first step is to forgive yourself and then let go of the hurt. You should forgive on your own time schedule when it seems right to you and safe

@halasipipacs

Ай бұрын

You're right, you have to forgive yourself. You don't have to forgive anyone who hasn't asked for it and hasn't made their wrongs right.

@maryannribble3254

Ай бұрын

Forgiving oneself can mean wanting to let go of the resentment ( it’s burden ) and the rage - but in my circumstances , until I have the resources - and NO ONE Individual necessarily does , by themselves - to “clean up the chaos left in this / these people ‘s wake “ that I am staring at 24/7 because I DO NOT , @ 69 years of age - self -employed business owner - single mother - have the financial resources to just “make it happen “ quickly …, enough for me . They and theirs completely changed my and my partner’s and family’s life - I’m the betrayals and that damage to my and other’s soul is unforgivable . I and my partner / family were the recipients of this betrayal . “ putting down the hatchet 🪓 “ means caring enough about myself and my purpose and human right to enjoy being alive that I put down the burden of engaging in the rage ; resentment and desire for vengeance to the perpetrators of the betrayals and prejudices . Vengeance is mine says God and the law of Nature and Karma . I am not God - last time I looked - I am a human being .

@user-zj5ml3yq7k

Ай бұрын

so true , forgive from with in , then do what next

@sonja7halcyon

Ай бұрын

It’s well known now in trauma psychology that forgiveness is that last step in the journey, not the first, and it happens on it’s own time and happens easily because it’s the natural next step after feeling, processing, integrating and full grieving. Most people find it hard to get to the grief part, or aren’t in a position where they can get enough distance and time from their abuser and the inherent surrounding triggers that keep the wound open, to be able to fully feel the grief and close the wound.

@user-dc6wz4dv3l

Ай бұрын

Yes in the end you're dealing with the guilt of having known it was off all along.

I’m going to therapy for post traumatic stress. I recommend therapy for everyone before they get into a relationship.

@jessicaabbott10

Ай бұрын

Me too. I grew up n a narcissistic family and have C-PTSD.

@yvetteandjorgenlarsen9753

Ай бұрын

Hahahahaha!

ABSOLUTELY LOOOOOVE THIS woman we need to protect her at ALLLLL cost!!

@user-zj5ml3yq7k

Ай бұрын

u don’t love bomb her , sooo true … national treasure

@user-zj5ml3yq7k

Ай бұрын

i don’t what to i mean

@user-zj5ml3yq7k

Ай бұрын

geee , i hope i’m not the narcissist and after a life changing event i’m looking inward and see the hard questions…

@saturdayschild8535

Ай бұрын

At ALL costs. She’s such a breath of fresh air.

I would like to applaud Dr Ramani on her bit about forgiveness. Amen. Some people are No sorry.

I love how real she is. The way she said how a narc speaks of themselves, "I'm the shit!" 😂 The reality of "forgiveness"... "Fuck them". Forgiveness is "permission to a narc". YeSSs 🙌🏼 giving validation heals.

@PaigeSquared

Ай бұрын

I think forgiving ourselves for participating, for working so hard and being manipulated, is much more meaningful for the healing process, than forgiving anyone external. For those that are external, acceptance, radical acceptance, is the closest many of us can ever get to forgiving an abuser. Forgiving in other contexts, though, they typically say it isn't saving them from consequences, it is no longer maintaining the passionate feelings for them. Blame is a connection, too. The opposite of love is not hate, it is indifference.

these principles need to be taught in pre-school

@sunahgahd

Ай бұрын

If not green screened they're definitely in one. These pre schoolers need to be taught adult principles

@zlysen

29 күн бұрын

Why? so they will be better in manipulating people after school ?

The narcissist will be your corrective emotional experience. And it is going to be painful.

@user-yup-you-are-human2

Ай бұрын

It corrected my lack of boundaries.

@yvetteandjorgenlarsen9753

Ай бұрын

​@@user-yup-you-are-human2yes, and it also corrected me feeling lonely as a widow.

@GridSeer

Ай бұрын

A complex social situation in which I was both called out for my behaviour by a wiser person, and simultaneously abused by a narcissistic made me see my role in these situations clearly for the first time. Once I saw the patterns I was playing out and how toxic my behaviour was that's when I turned towards healing

@JoyfulJenn

Ай бұрын

I remain joyful ….

@msakeeba

Ай бұрын

No truer words. Healing from my narc has transformed my entire life. I’ve created boundaries to keep me safe, better understanding of myself and other humans, healing childhood wounds that led me to the choices to stay with the narcissist.

Forgive them, they do it again. Don't forgive quickly next time, they campaign against your character, claiming you don't forgive at all.

@yvetteandjorgenlarsen9753

Ай бұрын

Forgive them on your way out the door, right after you've signed the divorce papers. You don't have to stick around and give them another chance to hurt you

@LorraineMorsch

Ай бұрын

So good and accurate the way u wrote this, so true and accurate. I tried to gain some approval and love from my parents my entire life. Finally I got to the point where now, I'm done!! Everything is flipped all the time, u are the bad one It truly is a personality disorder. No contact for me was the only choice left to save my life and sanity!!

@michiganmymichigan

Ай бұрын

@@LorraineMorsch You are not alone. 🧡

before acknowledgment of wrong doing forgiveness can not exist

@dianedeclare8541

Ай бұрын

Do not forgive the N. They do not deserve.

@spiritlevelstudios

Ай бұрын

Without blame

@sarahbouckhuyt538

25 күн бұрын

This is why you can never forgive a narcissist you never have closure and this is the cycle you don’t move on

@ebrennie

14 күн бұрын

That’s an illusion your ego is offering because it doesn’t want to do the work forgiveness requires. You do not need an apology to forgive. Do not confuse forgiveness with condoning bad behavior. Forgiveness means you decide to no longer let this person gerge on your contentment. Not forgiving is like drinking poison and expecting someone else to get sick. It’s only going to hurt you. Do you think they giving any thought to you? Then why do you let them consume you? Don’t. Just forgive.

@symbolsandsystems

14 күн бұрын

@@ebrennie complicated work around

Fantastic video. Dr. Ramani has an excellent delivery and it's very easy to relate to what she's saying from a situational perspective.

Dr Ramani absolutely validates my life's struggles. Narcissism , forgiveness, the truth about ruined life. All major 'chords.' One of the very best videos. Take Notes Folks!! Affective health is a major factor. Releasing the emotions. Very good segment. Guided meditation, thanks. To close. Seek closure. Well said. I think as you say open it, look at it with greater depth and seek understanding. To get beyond the ruminating.

Letting go and forgiving are two different things. By letting go a person is able to take back control of themselves and heal. Forgiveness is more of a personal, spiritual affirmation that should not be relayed to a toxic/narcissistic person.

@yvetteandjorgenlarsen9753

Ай бұрын

Been there done that and I disagree. Not only does the bible say that we can't be forgiven unless we forgive, I can tell you that a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders the moment I released him. And it didn't matter that he never admitted any wrong or asked for forgiveness. If he had done that, I would have reconciled with him but he didn't, so we got divorced

@devinsmallwick4208

Ай бұрын

@@yvetteandjorgenlarsen9753you left out the part in the Bible that says one must repent, confess wrong doing & ask forgiveness. Don’t recite religious excerpts one sided.

@aveleedeleon7694

Ай бұрын

Of course forgiveness should be given to narcissists. It’s the only way to have peace within your soul and also so you may receive forgiveness yourself. We all must account for our lives and go through a life-review immediately upon death. Fun fun!😬

Good stuff. Regarding NPD and incarceration,let's add that MANY folks locked up are addicts. Active addicts are the very definition of narcissism. It takes a serious face-plant to trigger an awakening in Cluster B's and most refuse to go for cognitive restructuring but some do make the effort.Remember...these are damaged individuals,don't foster unrealistic expectations. It's so exhausting dealing w NPD's.

The segment about forgiveness is so true. We can't use the empathic and humanistic approach against these beings. When dealing with these wicked individuals, we have to match them with a different form of forgiveness. That includes no contact, staying as far as possible, calling the cops or utilizing self-defense if they come near you. There is no middle line because the middle line means permission.

Thank you so much for explaining what forgiveness is and that it's perfectly OK to not forgive. I can let go. I love Dr. Ramani

@yvetteandjorgenlarsen9753

Ай бұрын

I disagree. Forgiveness is important for yourself. They won't appreciate it because they don't think they've done anything wrong. The moment I told my narc I forgive him, I could feel the huge weight lifted off my shoulders! And it didn't matter that he never admitted anything wrong and never asked for forgiveness.

@andreamaclachlan980

Ай бұрын

Jesus said to forgive. If we don't forgive, neither will we be forgiven.

@aveleedeleon7694

Ай бұрын

Well, that’s great and all, but do you expect to be forgiven when you die? In order to be forgiven we too must forgive. Plus, not forgiving does harm to your mind, body and spirit. You hang on to all that negative energy and it will literally make you sick. The peace you will feel in your soul makes forgiveness all worth it💞

The woman sitting at the front nodding the whole time is all of us

to narcissists, others are territory to psychopaths, others are food

@symbolsandsystems

Ай бұрын

but, most of all they are liars

@symbolsandsystems

Ай бұрын

god is not real god is reality get real

@dfuk66

Ай бұрын

Sociopaths: others are tools

@symbolsandsystems

Ай бұрын

@@dfuk66 psychopaths are hunters / sociopaths are cattle ranchers?

Good interview. I have followed her channel for awhile. She is knowledgeable and, most importantly, very good at explaining things.

Everyone has to do the work themselves.

@lilliandozier9604

Ай бұрын

Since when a criminal kann tell for himself he is going to jail ? You need a specialize person to be a mirror and even if they are told, they do it again .

@leanne123

Ай бұрын

What do they mean when they say"do the work"?

@paulthobe3489

Ай бұрын

@@leanne123 learn to appreciate everything. Learn from your problems. If its bad then, see what went wrong

I forgive the narcs. Of my life. I forgive them in my hearth but i dont have a plan to be close again to them.

Okay. I think I'm in the right place. I was losing my mind in 12 years of marriage. I'm beginning to see hope. HELP!

@tammyfitzgerald5336

25 күн бұрын

Amen 🙏 ❤

Where did she talk about Narcissism as the second hand smoke of mental illness?

Yes real forgiveness can take time and an attitude of forgiveness.

@aveleedeleon7694

Ай бұрын

It definitely can take time, but I think it’s simply a choice. The feelings will follow the choice.

Forgiveness is letting go, which is important for the victim!! There is a misnomer about forgiveness, it is not a pass for anyone.

@Fairgreentube

Ай бұрын

Feelings are not controllable, but behavior is controllable. I would forgive the feeling that they have because it’s not their fault the way they were raised without having their emotional needs met. However, if they don’t introspect self, reflect take accountability and try to improve themselves not to repeat the behaviors….. I’m not gonna forgive that. Behaviors like feelings are always going to repeat like but behaviors are controllable.

@dianedeclare8541

Ай бұрын

Ns r not the product of unmet childhood needs cuz some Ns have bee spoiled & continue to expect that entitlement

@Fairgreentube

Ай бұрын

@@dianedeclare8541 that’s the tricky part. Golden children aka spoiled brats were given stuff to shut them up in order to avoid giving them what they really needed. Perspective and structure (which is a huge part of emotional needs verses wants) that’s why they get confused between the difference between needs and wants. No one took the time to explain the meanings and made sure they understood clearly. If you tell someone “no” without explanation they automatically want it more and rebel against you. That explains why they overinflated their own ego and needs over everyone else’s aka Karen’s and Kevin’s. Sadly if someone would have explained it clearly they’d of had their clarity and would have been able to regulate their emotional needs verses emotional wants.

@leanne123

Ай бұрын

​@@dianedeclare8541 It is caused by both.

@darthregulus

Ай бұрын

Forgiveness and letting go are two different things.

When was this filmed? Had to be several years ago, right? Dr Ramani is my hero.

@elizabethsweet3866

Ай бұрын

I think Dr Ramani maybe has had a facelift or something, and dyed her hair. I see a thumbnail for another video where she looks 20 years younger. Maybe it’s just an older video.

@shirleyspencer9597

Ай бұрын

It doesn't matter what she looks like, it is her message that is important.

My perspective: Forgiving is for you & moving on, forgetting is another story. Forgiving doesn't mean the person has to be an active part of your life. Healthy Boundaries. 😊

@devinsmallwick4208

Ай бұрын

My perspective: forgiving without any accountability by them, no apology from them allows them to move on & repeat the harm over & over to the next victims in life. Yes they are no longer in our life, unfortunately someone else’s. And it goes on sadly.

@8888alouette888

27 күн бұрын

​@@devinsmallwick4208it is impossible to get an apology from a narcistic person. Letting go of the hurt and moving on, going no contact if possible is the only way to get your mental health back.

I believed that I could fix my mother for most of my life. Only recently have I come to understand the mental illness that was underneath her narcissistic behavior. She could fake empathy but eventually the mask would come off. She had some friends but eventually they abandoned her. At the end, I was the only one left. I have two older brothers; the golden child just blew her off. The other did the best he could. During the last month of her life, I was unable(no money for transportation)to visit her. I too abandoned her. She died alone.

Fascinating. Sobering.

Thank you Dr. Ramini for sharing the critical issue of "forgiving" and letting us know that we do not have to forgive the monsters🙏.

she explain things the way they are i love dr ramani for ever

Always learn so much from Dr Ramani! Thank you..

There’s no real support out here

@loveinthematrix

Ай бұрын

I hope that people like myself can help you change your mind. Trust me this is my passion and my purpose. It is very isolating though

@theforensicbadass

Ай бұрын

6 years ago I said the same thing. Plus I had to go through 2 years of a quarantine, where are the world vastly changed and resources were very difficult to obtain in person. I found resources because I would not give up. I made umpteen phone calls. I started building resource team members around me. I invested time in those resources, because I wanted to break codependency. I went from absolutely nothing, homeless , no car, money, help, support... I was broken, barely surviving three attempted murders. And if I can do it, finding those resources, anybody can do it. I became a forensic profiler, and now take victims through court and expose the narcissist.

No one else can explain the amount of highly important fact and correlation about the phenomenon than Dr Ramani. Besides all, in the same time, constantly radiating this pure loving healing energy. She's amazing.

This makes more sense with my experiences. I have known a few narcissists in my time and I always thought the 1 percent number couldn't be true.

This woman is a powerful lighthouse in a dark stormy night. Thank you Dr. Ramani.

Stress, when the demands placed on us, exceed our resources to cope with it. Our capacity is ffull, overload. 30:00

I would have considered myself a narcissist, And it took one hell of a dumping And some really strong behaviour of rejection. But at the end of it I was forced to change my behaviour not totally but modified quite a lot. But it almost has to be trauma inducing to change your character

Is our response to a situation that causes the stress not the situation itself. Very helpful.

@ViagensGringa

Ай бұрын

Id say that some situations are inherently stressful like childhood sexual abuse. We did not “create” that

Thank you for sharing this information.

Forgiveness is dangerous, especially in the begin where you try to reprogram your narcissistic parent(s) critic into a healthy brain and to be you. It can make you fall into a ptsd-trigger again when someone demands you 'you have to forgive, they force you' - forcing is something what a narcissist also does. I believe that when you heal yourself step by step that forgiving yourself comes just naturally.

To Me: Forgiveness is Simply Allowing GOD the Final Judgment… And then… Safe Boundaries… Which may include “Relationship Over” Due to the Death of TRUST! Just because we Forgive doesn’t mean that All Goes Back To Before the Betrayal!🙏🏻 Sad Stuff! 💛🕊🍃

@yvetteandjorgenlarsen9753

Ай бұрын

That's not what forgiveness is about. Maybe you should study it so you know what you're talking about

@janiecepoush1904

Ай бұрын

Letting Go of the PAIN… Good Vibes… Praying for the Offender: St Matthew 5:44, wishing them the Best of Everything! TRUST is Still Something Different! Betrayal Changes People! Someone Can Choose their Actions ~ True! But, they do not get to Choose the Result/ Consequences! Forgiveness is a Forgetting of the Crime & Going Forward, even 7 x’s 70! Yes, I have listened to the ‘Talks at Church!’ But, Forgiveness is not going back to the way it was, before the Betrayal… because THEIR ACTIONS Have then Changed Your Belief System in Several Ways: 1) How Much they value you; 2) Their Value for a Sacred Union & Fidelity; 3) WHO they are as a Moral Person; & 4) Their Allegiance to ‘The GOD of the Universe,’ in Following HIS LAWS of Divine Nature (2 Peter Ch. 1). Mistakes, are not a Betrayal. Betrayal is Doing Something Wrong, even though you know it is WRONG. So, all needs to be Considered! Here’s the thing… Only GOD knows the Depth of our PAIN… And ALL of the innuendos of our Life Experiences & if we are Doing Our Very Best FOR Our Personal Capacity, even when we Forgive. So, the Bottom-Line: Only GOD has the Right to JUDGE… Even on the Topic of HOW Someone Forgives Another! The Admonition, to: “Turn the Other Cheek,” did Not Mean… Turn the Other Cheek & Get Slapped Again / Or Slugged & Knocked Out! The Holy Spirit Can Direct on Certain Scriptures… “Turn the Other Cheek & ➡️ WALK AWAY, May be the Full Meaning there!” Yes, A Little Study is Mandatory! 🙏🏻Healing the Broken Hearted, May Require Walking Away. GOD Does Not Expect US to be Connected at the Hip with Malignant, Toxic , Irredeemable, Sociopathic, Psychopathic, Sadistic, Evil People… The Top WORLD RENOWNED THERAPISTS AGREE, an Estimated 25-30% of Narcissistic People (of the World’s Total Population), CAN NOT CHANGE, EVEN if they WANT TO, Due to a Catastrophic Event in their Lives. Their Personality Style Is Like A Permanent Brain Groove! And, what happens After “THE 490th (7 x’s 70), Episode of Betrayal? … Which, can happen Realistically, after A Mere 7 Days (70 / 16 waking hrs. per day = 4.38 offenses per hour)? I’d say that the Spiritual Requirement Really Does ‘Spell Out the Answer! Walk Away, Leaving the Offender your Most Loving Wishes & Prayers! Otherwise, you become an Enabler, a Frankenstein’s Lurch, Flying Monkey Type of Person! An Eli, for his two Wicked SONs! Maybe, the One Holding the Pied-Piper’s Hand… To the Gates of Hell! 🙏🏻💛🕊🍃

it seems like therapists are full of empathy and professors are full of themselves

My BFF is both, autistic and Narcissistic, it is tough at time. I do love that he don't steahl and don't smocke.

16:30 I encountered two psychopathic surgeons. Still shocked at their behavior.

EMDR therapy helped me into a forgiving state. I believe the quantum healing helped the perpetrator turn her life around, and actually turned into an admirable human.

Wow how exact is the quandary of knowing a lack of empathy to learning to being empathetic.. this helps me with divinity also discerning culpability a huge space of undefined intention or lack of definition this clip does favor a much younger Dr although hard to believe it's just days ago. Trust issues are a collective emotional experience!

I actually know someone in my own family, who is both a narcissist - and, a sociopath. So for us, this individual is a toxic narcissistic sociopath - and ther isn’t a thing that we can do about it. However, because there is a matter of finances, and concluding an estate process, we’re going to have to make some hard decisions, that will, in their mind, affect them negatively - because there are consequences.

My favourite teacher!Dr Ramani!

It might be better to become curious as opposed to starting again on the bottom rung saying "I'm not good enough". Change your mind and do "I'm curious" - this is a beginning point without loosing what you already have.

Quite simply put …… self absorbed, predatory people. STAY CLEAR ❕

Forgiveness is a gratuitous grace.

@WippSheridan

Ай бұрын

@@shieldmcshieldy5750 Amen

Thank you for this briefing.

I think the one in three statistic is much closer to my experience. I have been targeted too many times, i wasnt able to find a safe space. The self obsession is too pervasive.

Ariana huffington graced the smith college campus with her wisdom. I love her so …

@James-Johnson313

Ай бұрын

She unleashed a cancer upon the world (The Huffington Post).

Forgiving another CAN'T happen until one first understands the perpetrator's mindset, then one can let go and then forgiveness naturally follows.

The man who said that he doesn’t think anything outside of us is stressful needs to be looked at. He sounds like a narc

@elishamulvaney4134

Ай бұрын

Yeah everything outside of us is inanimate... humans?? That thing??? Humans are things?? Also the lack of empathy... smells like a full narc

@michellesecrett1

Ай бұрын

It’s stressful if we give it meaning. We can only control our own thoughts and feelings and how we respond to events and people outside of ourselves. You can’t control the external world but you can choose to perceive it differently

@sarahcinnamonthriving9563

2 күн бұрын

Yes, what he said did not seem to be realistic for survivors of violent child abuse, homelessness, rape, terrifying war zones & refugee camps, impoverished starvation & drought regions... He is speaking of and from far more privileged than many on this planet.

I love Joe's surname.

I like Joe very much!

To forgive just means to not hold on to the anger from the abuse. To let them go. It has ZERO to do with taking someone back. That has nothing to do with forgiving. And forgiving is not about excusing their behavior. You forgive for YOU, NOT the other person. You let them go. You let the anger go. And you move on. Everybody in their own time. Some need a time to grieve what they have lost due to the abuse. But you do NOT want to hold on to the anger or hatred for the abuser. As long as you hold on to those negative emotions, they are controlling you. And the more intense those negative emotions are, the more likely they will develop into a physical illness. And negative opinions are not the same as negative emotions. Emotions are energy in motion. You don't want to hold on to the negative energies. That energy has to go somewhere and a lot of people internalize them and hence the physical illness. I just wish that people would use the word forgive in the correct context with the correct definition. Forgiveness: Letting go of grudges and bitterness When someone you care about hurts you, you can hold on to anger and resentment - or embrace forgiveness and move forward.

@susanmercurio1060

10 күн бұрын

The books The Courage to Heal and The Myth of Forgiveness both say that you do NOT have to forgive your abuser to move ahead with your life. Saying that you do is gaslighting.

@heavenlygrandma9992

10 күн бұрын

@@susanmercurio1060 No, it is not gaslighting. It is fact that if you hold on to anger and stay in anger, you could end up deathly ill. I would NEVER gaslight anyone. How do I know that negative energy can manifest into physical illness, acute myeloid leukemia from living with a narcissist. So, I don't really care what a book says... I lived it. Forgiveness is for YOU, not the other person. I think that forgiving is a process. And it does not mean to accept the other person back in to your life or that you even have to be around them or speak to them. ALL it means is that you let go of the negative emotions and just live your life. A person does not have to actively forgive, it happens in time. When you stop thinking negative about someone, or stop thinking about them at all, you've forgiven whether you realize it or not. If you are not living IN negative emotions, you have forgiven. And holding on to that anger just lets the other person continue to control your emotions. forgive verb 1. stop feeling angry or resentful towards (someone) for an offense, flaw, or mistake

@heavenlygrandma9992

10 күн бұрын

P.S. Where did I ever say the words that you HAVE to forgive to move on with your life? I didn't. I was just saying that the negative energy could have a negative affect on the abused person if they are living IN that negative energy all the time. Most people just use "forgive" in the wrong context.

GAL, Social Workers, literally therapists need a refresher of it and how the narcissist can create Parental Alienation as well. This disorder effects kid's of a narcissist and targeted parent. Willing to use a child as a weapon. They should really be educated on this. It creates some major damage in a family.

@tammyfitzgerald5336

22 күн бұрын

They everywhere and in all jobs the system of mental health has failed USA ❤❤❤❤❤

@KC-jr6zs

22 күн бұрын

@@tammyfitzgerald5336 Exactly Tammy. The more educated everybody could be on the subject the better. This way we can hopefully be ready to either educate or start creating a file with evidence to replace any staff creating issues as well.

Dr Ramani, as always, thanks so much for all of your advice, wisdom, knowledge, and experiences you've been sharing with us over the years ! Blessed your Heart ❤️ 🙌 🙏 I have one question on all Toxic + Narcissistic + Spychopath devils 😈 whose sole purpose in life's to hurt humankind around the world 🌎 I'm Vietnamese who was borned, raised in a poor 3rd world, war-torned country throughout history, I've seen plenty of Deaths, Pains, Sorrows, Sufferings, etc almost everyday 😢 However, most of us Vietnameses in particular and other Asians in general rarely become Toxic Narcisscists + Spychopaths devils 😈 In fact, despite all challenges + difficulties + hardship we've been through, We've all remained Empathy, Kind, Loving, Caring, Generous, and Successful individuals ! Therefore, I believe that most Asians are extremely Resilient ! Regardless of the kinds of environment we're living in, we can survive almost anything, and this inner Strength, Courage, and Wisdom only comes from centuries of self-discipline ! 🙏😍🙏💕

Super educating these facts to prepare & warn others ……. many can be susceptible to their initial charm. Gut instincts can usually kick in ….. take note & exit quickly !

Great Title - Thanks Dr. Ramadi 💖

@pearpo

Ай бұрын

That’s what prison is for. People who cannot control their behavior, people who harm others.

I don’t believe it’s my job to forgive someone whose actions negatively impacted my life. My job is to accept what I have experienced and to learn to live without anger or regret. It’s a process but after a certain period of time , I try to discover what I call, the gift of the lesson. …find some thing constructive that can be of benefit to me and to others who may seek advice. Call it a little piece of wisdom that can give meaning to something that was devastating and destructive to experience. , a valuable tool to help you navigate this sometimes rocky and difficult journey. I want my lesson to give me a gift that will have a positive and lasting impact , a gift that will be of great value. Everyone must seek their own, of course, but I find there’s great value in gaining the insight to a deeper understanding and the compassion to hold a warm hand out to someone who may be in need of holding it.

What about if narcissism is combined with psychopathy? (the narcopath).

@LeiraHdezP

Ай бұрын

All phycos are narcisist, but not all narcisist r physcos.

@kevinowens6010

Ай бұрын

I wasn't sure I married one till I was stupid enough to do it again. Yes they are both for both can and will graduate to murder if the opportunity presents itself. Narc free 0ver 30 years now. Only out of experience can one truly spot one when they come buzzing around.

Forgiveness is different than reconciliation.

Stress can be viewed as a opportunity to fix weaknesses in one's character.

So how does feeling bad about yourself on the inside turn into let me make up evil malice lies on people when confront them on the truth. I can’t connect those dots.

@yvetteandjorgenlarsen9753

Ай бұрын

As far as I can tell, it's because they are mentally ill. I've been wounded and had a very hard life, and I don't do any of those things...

@heythere6983

Ай бұрын

They chose to feel too much pity for themselves whereas other people try and overcome and not be crushed by self pity

Can they be both on the spectrum and narcissistic ?

forgetting does not require forgiving narcissists only exist in the minds of others

@symbolsandsystems

Ай бұрын

"software builds the hardware" ... that's an interesting concept

@leanne123

Ай бұрын

No they actually exist on their own.

@kevinowens6010

Ай бұрын

I disagree. A Narc is an absolute inner species predator. That means it can't be fixed, period. What does that really mean? That means even if the inner species narc has a soild rock bottom experience caused by the Narcs own behaviors and actions and the narc has a awareness of the facts due to being caught. That narc then out of some perspective of consequence it might receive will find any means necessary to take the spot light off themselves. That means pretending to do the right thing till the heat is off only. Then the inner species predator is right back doing the same game only a little more polished than before. That is why they are NOT Human. A Human makes a mistake they learn that it harmed someone emotionally, financially, spiritually, mentally and physically and they stop that behavior and take full responsibility as well as Accountability. Accountability is more than a word. It is a action.

@symbolsandsystems

Ай бұрын

@@kevinowens6010 to the narcissist others are territory

@symbolsandsystems

Ай бұрын

@@kevinowens6010 human: by agreement Beast: might makes right

You interviewed the woman with an accent on stress and her book. I'm not sure what the name of the book is that you picked up. Thanks for the feedback.

“I am not good enough” OH- i can see where. I can fix it

You look more amazing each time I watch the world’s best. So I just finished say to a lady on face book it’s a red flag if your church asks for $ for charity!

Narcs are haters. You hating them...means your the same. Forgiving is that I let the offence go to God.the bible says:revenge belong to me " So by letting them go and turning them over to God.He will do justice and you can return to your true nature,LOVE Run and then be compassionate cos their sick to the bone

I am almost out of a dangerously emotional, mental, and physical marriage to a covert narcissist. In the process of divorce. I've been sitting in a state of what has been identified as analysis paralysis. What will help me get out of this state? I feel stuck, I still hear his words in my head telling me everything I am not. Any suggestions?

@sangeethasoman3970

Ай бұрын

Try the NARP course by Melanie Tonia Evans. All the best.

@kevinowens6010

Ай бұрын

Okay I will help you to a point. Narcs can have a dark attached entity. That is a Fact. This allows a stupid Narc to have the ability to manage people. When a Narc discards they like to leave what I call a TAR BABY. That is their inner most sticky self attached to YOU. The inner species Narc wants you to raise that baby the next twenty years. Not your Tar Baby. You must understand that. Get rid of it. Dancing with the devil is what we did. When I say a Narc is stupid that is a compliment for retarded is what they are. Look your narc had the best he ever had when he found you. Overwhelming supply woman. So now you prepare for that hoover that is coming. You know the make up sex and you took everything out of perspective spill. More word salad so he can really destroy you. You line his balls up like a soccer ball. Remove all social media. Change phone numbers. Move if possible and Go no contact for life. He shows up hand Him his ass. Never ever have any conversation with the entity. In time these narcs sink from their own weight. Universal law of Karma. You need to focus on you. You learn the playbook of a narc. You spend the monies on a background check on any possible potential candidates in the future. You do that and you will NEVER experience Hell again. Background checks don't lie. Besides when you are all healthy again and looking good you to will have a great time handing a lieing manipulation monkey right in front of you their ass. You have the FACTS. However I wait before I serve for learning purposes. That play book is everything. Hope this helps you on your Journey. One day you will be rock solid with abilities from God like I am. You will be able to achieve any thing you wish. Your own mind and live the life you dream. Narcs smell this. No different than a vampire. Not your shit remember that. Only thing you have a part in is voluntary out of ignorance. We all have volunteered. Time to move on. God is doing for you what you can't do for yourself. Now your eager to be educated. Out of the Muck a lotus is born. Just have to learn to be a warrior not the prey.

@anhom141

Ай бұрын

My soul felt like it was dying, suffocated from living around someone who lives in delusion. Abuse too, constant rages. Demanded he sign for an apartment for me. And back in school for a new career to be financially stable. His image is so important so he bragged about getting me a special space to study 😅

@yvetteandjorgenlarsen9753

Ай бұрын

I can tell you that my faith in our good father God, who loves me, praying to him, being thankful for everything good in my life, being glad I survived, and reading and studying my Bible (The Passion Translation) completely takes my mind off of what I just went through and lifts my spirit. I've only learned 2 weeks ago that the problem was narcissism, and I had a trauma bond, but I'm already doing so much better from watching some videos and gaining understanding, and especially reading all of the comments. I'm obviously not alone in this! I moved to a different state, 500 Mi away. I'm not 100% no contact yet because the divorce is still pending, but I don't have to see him in person anymore, and that's only been for a week.

@tallyho2125

Ай бұрын

Go to the mirror in the morning and tell yourself “ I love you (state your full name) . Say it over and over

Why is some of the wording on the pictures in the background blurred?

Can a person have traits from all of the types of narcissistic personality disorders that were named? I’ve seen some of all of those traits innate person I use to date.

I love this! Can you please tell me the name of the man that spoke after Dr. Ramani 22:44 minutes into the recording. I would love to hear more about what he has to say.

I get it the narcissist won’t respect your forgiveness for what it is but I feel letting go of it is forgiveness but you can move on and not allow them back into your life to screw you over again but at the same time I am a firm believer in the word of God and it says we are to forgive others or your Heavenly Father will not forgive you. He forgave us when we were unforgivable. But I get what she’s saying about they don’t take it as a divine thing done for them, just an excuse to keep doing it to you. I definitely have lived through this. Always let go of the what they did to you and don’t let it define you but go ahead and forgive and move on. It takes God’s love. As a human being, sometimes it’s impossible. This is just my take on it. My take on this will never change. I have been too relevant in my life on both sides so I have lived it from both sides. Not being forgiven and also forgiving too much and then allowing them to do it again and again in narcissistic relationships.

@mystsams

21 күн бұрын

I had an unforgiveness that seemed impossible for me to forgive. I had to ask the Lord to remove the anger, hatred and unforgiveness that was there. While worshipping the Lord, I felt something leave me and after that, I began caring about that person and seeing then through God's eyes. I pray for them now and have no animosity against them any more. It was that quick. If you dont forgive, you are in pride. You are saying God can forgive but you cant so therefore you are saying you're better than God.I also do deliverance because sin opens doors to demons. Unforgiveness is disobedience and sin. Deliverance won't work on someone that is in unforgiveness until they forgive. I've seen it time and again. Demons will come out after ther person is willing to let it go.

@mystsams

21 күн бұрын

As a side point you don't necessarily have to forgive the person to their face, just give it to God .. the oppressor has no idea that you forgave them and it won't affect how they respond to you.

Yep ! … always believed charitable monetary contributions should be done privately.

How about Jody Attias---psychopath or narcissist?

Dr. Romney was great. I love her work. The second guy actually reminded me of a narcissist's victim-blaming. If you don't forgive you'll make yourself sick so it's your fault. I stopped watching when he started his bs.

Who is the guy in the second interview? Talking about organs and emotions. I want to know more.

Forward narcissism + reverse narcissism = zero.

First law of revolutionary theory of the selfish Gene. I survive and prosper first before i extend altruism. Psychology is based upon Freudian psychosexual confabulation. It is rarely predictive of human action or behavior

How do I get a coach help in this area

So many things you can’t learn on KZread.. This is a good example. People have enough on their plates to think they can start judging others by watching not only this but my gosh so many others. Especially when it comes to humans/ personalities etc. stick with how to replace the refrigerator seal ha etc. if I used this I could probably label everyone in my life as simply a narcissist, including myself! Be very careful what you watch on KZread period. Don’t let it control your head. Remember what the book that talks about marking your forehead and palm of your hand. But besides even that imagine how easy it would be to be a reporter now that there’s a camera in everyone’s hand ha. Consider entertainment tonight lol, just take your pic. It’s a big World 🌎 out there! Later

@captainjimolchs

Ай бұрын

--What do you mean by that? --Having a camera in my hand made false criminal charges evaporate. You can see the video on KZread.

This is a hard part exactly what you were saying about being on the spectrum I forget what it’s called. Maybe I mean they’re probably the same thing in the mind if it’s metacognition or you know the ability to see yourself mind blindness I forget the term button this is so complex really figuring out what you are what others are how to treat them whether it matters just all of it Would like to really learn this as well as boundaries not only with narcissist but in relationships like what is self preserving with his selfish when they take a step forward how to set up the next level of boundaries and what to do if they don’t reach them specially say with someone who presents or affect us like a narcissistI mean we need mega coaching with us

Whole system failed me now I mad ❤❤❤❤❤

My respects to Dr. Ramani for her firm stance on forgiveness. It is unfair, unjust and morally WRONG to expect a child abuse victim to forgive his or her abuser, which may entail putting himself or herself in harms' way. Sure, generally speaking, forgiveness is great when the offender has asked for forgiveness and has shown signs of true repentence. However, there are always exceptions to every rule, and I strongly believe that in cases of child abuse, forgiveness is NOT applicable nor appropriate!!!😢

@yvetteandjorgenlarsen9753

Ай бұрын

Then you are clueless about forgiveness

@priscillarangel2945

Ай бұрын

​@yvetteandjorgenlarsen9753 so what is forgiveness to you? You commented on two comments saying they don't know forgiveness but you don't follow it up with an explanation. So what is forgiveness if this and the other comment aren't it?

@Clueless2019

Ай бұрын

​​@@priscillarangel2945 Hello, I strongly believe in forgiveness and reconciliation. I preach it and I live it everyday! There is one (1) exception: Cases of child abuse, wherein I strongly believe "forgiveness" is not only innapropriate but also potentially dangerous to the victim. I do have a degree in the law (USA), which includes criminal law; and I know with certainty that pedophiles have a high rate of recidivisim. Please research this with an open mind and you will better understand my firm stand on this matter.

@Clueless2019

Ай бұрын

@@yvetteandjorgenlarsen9753 Please read my additional comment here above. Thank you.

Hey Doctor your hair color looks 👍 so nice 🎉😊❤

She ran a hate campaign against me online & along with hackers = kept me inside my home through electronic intrusion and intimidation in my neighborhood - home burglary- vandalism- assault- She’s a REALLY BAD person!!

@Poppy-yx8js

Ай бұрын

For 6 years of my life. Don’t follow Ramani !

@Poppy-yx8js

Ай бұрын

Don’t support her platform

@Poppy-yx8js

Ай бұрын

Conservative channel!!

@Poppy-yx8js

Ай бұрын

Don’t support Ramani! Bad person!!

To “forgive” means to not seek revenge, not to stick your hand back in the meat grinder .

Being Grandos or this or that or antisocial teaming this also happens to people I don’t know who are autistic or very intelligent. I mean, we think all autistic people are nice and naïve and but the truth is well if some of them form some of these personality traits for protection, I know some people who are very smart and feel very alone, that have been become like this

PLEASE CAN WE SEE YOUR CREDENTIALS? MANY THANKS 😊

good or bad = achieves purpose?

How is that "inappropriately " young for a man. Wow, you just passed a blanket judgement of 3 generations of both side of my family who all married once stayed married for life and loved eachother til death. That sou.ds like man shaming stuff, not narcisism.