ya boi has returned from the dead and i'm back with talking about my mental health once more. a lot of changes have happened: from moving out to joining college to gaining all kinds of new relationships and deepening my connection to myself. i hope this video will be of use to you ✨
[ tw ]
discussions of depression, dissociation, suicidality, drinking. nothing graphic, talking about it in a way of dealing with it
[ timestamps ]
00:00:00 - June 28, 2021
00:00:21 - doing coping strategies to change my day around!!
00:01:17 - sometimes 'snapping out of it' really does work + explaining how insensitive that sounds
00:02:09 - talking about that damn psychiatrist
00:03:02 - moving into new chapters of my life + having a glow up
00:04:15 - wow a professional setup
00:04:34 - the glow up i wanna have over the summer months
00:05:19 - spending money i'd been saving up for years
00:05:58 - talking about skincare
00:06:54 - what those coping strategies actually were that changed my day around
00:08:00 - July 3, 2021
00:08:12 - i cried for the first time in a long while and that's good
00:08:33 - why did i cry tho?: the story + pushing yourself too far
00:09:35 - sometimes your mental health gets worse + that's okay
00:10:06 - getting back into the story
00:10:50 - feeling lazy when i'm depressed + the guilt that comes with that + judgment from others
00:12:33 - when the people around you feel powerless bc they can't help you
00:13:25 - continuing the story
00:14:03 - i've been on top of my routines, but not my chores and that's frustrating for my whole family and myself + the solution to that!!
00:17:08 - losing interest again
00:17:29 - different coping strategies for different mental health days
00:19:27 - it's a really transformational period + that's overwhelming and hard to deal with
00:20:42 - communication is KEY
00:21:25 - July 12, 2021
00:21:39 - got my hair done :))
00:21:46 - foreshadowing incoming: i have emotional dissociation and you can tell in these clips
00:22:27 - finally scheduled an appointment with a psychiatrist
00:23:11 - immediately zoning back out
00:23:28 - finding a topic but not being able to put it into words
00:23:49 - feeling incredibly frustrated with my ability to speak or lack thereof
00:26:36 - August 2, 2021
00:27:16 - i finally went to the psychiatrist
00:28:03 - turns out i've had emotional dissociation all this time + the reason i have amnesia
00:29:38 - what else the doctor said + i wasn't allowed to do research
00:30:58 - feeling invalidated by a psychiatrist
00:32:32 - reading my prose about healing
00:39:12 - thinking about the future
00:39:46 - August 25, 2021
00:40:06 - i always forget to mention that i have closed captions
00:40:41 - got a bunch of piercings
00:40:50 - bought a bunch of stuff for my dorm + talking about nervousness around uni
00:41:37 - how i'm going to deal with my emotional dissociation
00:42:27 - the impact a diagnosis has + the obnoxious effects of amnesia on your life
00:44:38 - talking about my struggles to others has been SO healing + levelling up my emotional intelligence to prevent slipping into a dissociated state
00:45:47 - stepping out of the limbo between teenagehood and adulthood
00:46:20 - starting a spiritual mentorship with jasmine mariposa
00:48:14 - the most genuine smile you've seen today
00:49:41 - August 29, 2021
00:49:57 - starting college tomorrow!!
00:50:32 - new piercings
00:50:58 - a new chapter in my life
00:52:58 - September 5th, 2021
00:53:13 - moved into my dorm + i am thriving
00:54:02 - i started to slip into a dissociated period but was able to shake it off bc of coping mechanisms!
00:55:30 - spiritual mentorship with jasmine mariposa
00:56:26 - new goals and aspirations
00:57:27 - working through friendship insecurity
00:59:40 - September 21, 2021
01:00:14 - my experiences of my first real classes
01:01:02 - continuation of the spiritual mentorship
01:04:07 - going sober + the "turning point party"
01:06:58 - reading again
01:07:59 - moving through blockages and upgrading
01:09:27 - streaming on twitch + stepping outside of comfort zones
01:10:22 - being vulnerable with others
01:10:59 - a few last words
01:11:41 - i go by they/them now
01:12:12 - brain rebooting, dissociation kicking in
01:12:47 - back to the topic: they/them-ness, the effects of a good environment and good people around you
01:14:11 - wondering if i sound as happy as i am
01:14:37 - gender euphoria
01:15:12 - doing something about my family feeling underappreciated
01:16:02 - my class timetable arrived + it's so dam good!!
01:16:54 - writing again!
01:17:31 - a message to everybody who's been having a hard time
[ music ]
Music by Chillhop: chillhop.com/listen
Philanthrope, Sleepy Fish - Away with the Fairies chll.to/bd402e1c
(list of all songs in pinned comment, description too short!)
Listen on Spotify: bit.ly/ChillhopSpotify