my sexual assault story...

TRIGGER WARNING
thank you for listening to my story, if you'd like to share your story or just reach out, please do so!
National Sexual Assault Hotline
Call 1-800-656-4673 (Available 24/7)
Crisis Text Line
TEXT "OPEN" TO 741-741
Free · 24/7 · Confidential

Пікірлер: 414

  • @amandavillarini
    @amandavillarini2 жыл бұрын

    Hey ya'll !! it's been a bit since I uploaded this video. I just wanted to say, thank you.. to all the kind souls that reached out to me and to those who trusted me enough to share their own experiences. The support I have received has been so overwhelming. so, again, thank YOU 💖 My 2021 was all about healing, forgiving and evolving. I started weekly counseling, with the help of my therapist I was able to work through a lot of my trauma. Before starting therapy, I honestly thought I was 'handling' things a lot better than I really was. Jokes on me lol. Therapy brought back so much trauma and finally made me realize I hadn't forgiven and forgotten, or moved on from it at all. ANYWAYS, let's move on to the main reason why I am even posting this comment in the first place lol If you watched the video above, you know that the SVU detective assigned to my case was not the best, to say the least.. When I went in to give a statement he made it seem as if everything was my fault, and by that I mean he asked me "why would you let yourself get that intoxicated" "people at the party saw you and Jair (the main attacker out of the 3 men) kiss" or my personal favorite "what were you wearing that day." As soon as he asked those type of questions I knew there would be no hope for my case. I tried to contact them several times throughout 2014 to see if there was any update on my case and nothing. I would leave multiple voicemails and not a single call back from the detective. Til this day, I don't even know if they tested my rape kit. After a while, I just left it alone. I felt defeated. It's now January 27th, 2022. It has been 8 years. It's time to finish what I started... Now, that I'm not scared shitless-- I will contact the San Antonio Special Victims Unit and finally get some answers. Updates coming soon.

  • @abfab9184

    @abfab9184

    Жыл бұрын

    Thank you so much for sharing. I got drunk and raped and I didn’t press charges because I felt it was my fault for getting drunk. Thank you for making me realize it wasn’t my fault.

  • @rochelle_johnston2703

    @rochelle_johnston2703

    Жыл бұрын

    @@abfab9184 Hi, I want to comment and I will but my dog needs to go outside so brb.

  • @rochelle_johnston2703

    @rochelle_johnston2703

    Жыл бұрын

    Hi, I want to comment but dog needs to go outside, brb.

  • @DaRyteJuan

    @DaRyteJuan

    Жыл бұрын

    Unfortunately, the police are rarely, rarely anyone’s friend. They are almost more evil than the perpetrators because they give the perpetrators free license to do whatever they want. The victim gets victimized twice. My personal opinion is to never talk to the police unless you have an attorney even when or _especially_ when you’re the victim. There’s something screwed up in the brains of police. They don’t see citizens as human beings. They only recognize cops or others in a position of authority. Don’t give up on your healing, Amanda. It will take time. Over time though, you will grow stronger and stronger. Always pulling for you over here.

  • @firstpablo

    @firstpablo

    9 ай бұрын

    Amanda, just remember you’re a beautiful, intelligent, young lady. You have a great future. I love you just for you being you and not letting this unfortunate incident define your life. Take care.

  • @paulgrant2314
    @paulgrant23143 жыл бұрын

    Painful to hear you were taken advantage of in such a manor. You are strong I did gain something from your story confident to get a story of myself out. Stay strong and keep your head up

  • @oldboyJay
    @oldboyJay3 жыл бұрын

    I came across your post just by random scrolling and you drew me in with your story. I just want to say I am sorry that this happened to you. It wasn't your fault and it's a shame that justice hasn't been done. Stay strong.

  • @rogerb4436
    @rogerb44363 жыл бұрын

    This pisses me off, as a man and a father. Some guy thinking only about his selfish needs and 1 night of fun for him but a life time of damage for a victim. As a guy I'm ashamed, angry & embarrassed. These ppl are human beings and one day it could be a mother or sister of there's being violated. What can you say to this poor women....nothing.....she just has to be strong and live with it..so sad.

  • @stregalilith

    @stregalilith

    3 жыл бұрын

    Roger thank you for your outrage. As a man there is something you can do. Tell all the men you know how you feel about this issue! And when you see a brother step out of line SAY SOMETHING! "Hey that's not cool dude." or "Show a little respect" or whatever you would say if that girl or woman was your daughter or sister or mother. Get with other men and stop these constant assaults on women and girls. You can do it. Women and girls have tried for years but these guys don't listen to women--BUT they listen to men. Stand up by yourself and with other men in defence of women from what looks like to you the slightest bit of harassment to actual sexual attack. Women and girls are terrified of men--even the good ones--because nobody is keeping the jerks in line. That's not a world either of us want to live in.

  • @Jwebb-zh9gj

    @Jwebb-zh9gj

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@stregalilith keep that same energy for women rapist as well

  • @Smartass012

    @Smartass012

    7 ай бұрын

    Often in these stories the woman is rapist. Many time often benefit of dought when their memory gaps we lean on cultural narrative IV learn be more scheptical hense my profile photo and username.

  • @craigsellier5973

    @craigsellier5973

    8 күн бұрын

    It pisses me off as well. It wouldn't pay for me to walk in on something going on like this because I'm sure it wouldn't turn out good. I wouldn't even have to be friends or even have to know a woman to protect her from something like this. Automatically I know that it's not right and I'm the type of man that would be looking out for any young ladies. It's different if a woman is sober and makes bad decisions but for a woman to get wasted on the kind of the friend, he must've already had plans not only for himself but to set his homeboys up. That's not a man, none of the 3 were men, that's trash. Any good human being is going to protect another human being even if it means for them to lay down their life. That's the way I am, I'll lay down my life to protect another if that's what it takes, so be it. I'm ole school, these youngsters raised today most of them without a father figure in their home so they have no training, no guidance from a father figure. This is the kind that does this type of thing. Just know Amanda, you are okay and your body hasn't changed any because of what happened, it's all in your head darling and I can completely understand. You have the right to feel like you do, but don't feel dirty, used are damaged because you are still a beautiful soul. You are not scarred physically but I realize mentally it's really eating at you. Just know hun God is your strength. Stay close to God and I promise he will pull you through. God bless 🙌 🙏 you special lady and just know that I am praying 🙏 for you. Stay strong 💪. You are loved ❤.

  • @juliangilbert5465
    @juliangilbert546511 ай бұрын

    I'm sorry this happened to you. I'm father of 2, 58 years old. I just want you to know most men are not like this. Most of us would want to protect young women, not harm them. Best wishes. You're very brave. ❤

  • @michellerukny
    @michellerukny2 жыл бұрын

    Stay strong love. It happened to me to almost 20 years ago and nothing happened, but with lots of therapy and God helped me through it all!

  • @colinanderson5986

    @colinanderson5986

    6 ай бұрын

    What as god got to do with it she can only help her self with friends and family not god 😂

  • @justmeashley7923
    @justmeashley79233 жыл бұрын

    It doesn’t matter if you drank until your liver fell out. That does not give anyone the right to do that to you. You’re very brave for speaking out. I want to share my story here with you, since im not yet brave enough to make a video. I was 22 and the DD to a party with some friends. At the time I was a very heavy drinker who partied a lot (I mean, I WAS 22) so I could definitely hold my liquor if I needed to. Well that night I had three beers over the course of six hours, so I most definitely would not have even been a tad tipsy let alone drunk. Well during the party I got vet very VERY tired. I decided I would just nap on the couch in the middle of the party. Safe enough right? Surrounded by people. Told my friends to wake me when they were ready to go. I could not keep my eyes open. Well fast forward X amount of time, I have no idea how long, and I wake up in a dark room, in a bed, with a man inside me. I was in so much shock that for a minute I didn’t say anything. I finally “came to” and told him he had 10 secs to gtfo me before I scream. He got off me and acted so shocked as to why I was in a panic. I couldn’t sit up for a solid 10-15 minutes cause my arms and legs were paralyzed. I don’t know what I was given or by whom but I know I was given something. When I got feeling back into my extremities I got up, put my clothes on and ran out of the room searching for my friends. When I found them I asked wtf happened. They said “I looked cold so they put me in a room with a blanket”. Wtf!? I never reported it. I’ve seen him a few times. He’s married with children. I don’t know him. Didn’t know him. But my friend did. Lessons learned. Careful who you trust. Don’t drink something you didn’t open and hold the whole time. Report your assault if you feel safe enough to do so. To try and prevent them from doing it again. So many props to you for being so brave. Big hugs. We’re not alone.

  • @amandavillarini

    @amandavillarini

    3 жыл бұрын

    I’m so sorry that this happened :( thank you for sharing your story and for also being so strong to be able to keep moving forward!! We are not alone 🖤

  • @Channel-V5

    @Channel-V5

    5 ай бұрын

    Sounds like what Riley and Robicheaux did to those poor women in Newport Beach.

  • @user-by8gk9rm6n

    @user-by8gk9rm6n

    Ай бұрын

    Τι άνθρωποι υπάρχουν,ΦΡΙΚΤΟΊ...Λυπάμαι πολύ. Εύχομαι να είσαι καλά τώρα.

  • @Cazador60140

    @Cazador60140

    14 күн бұрын

    Is jair a Middle Eastern individual who thinks women are just c u m holes

  • @briannagravely9349
    @briannagravely93493 жыл бұрын

    Thank you for this video. What happened to you was absolutely 100% not your fault. You had every right to react the way you did. You did what you thought was best that night and morning with the information you had at the time. You were in survival mode the morning after. Its okay to mourn. Your sense of safety and autonomy were taken away. You are a beautiful person who deserves love and respect. Its perfectly natural to struggle with trust and intimacy after. It does not mean you are broken. 💜

  • @amandavillarini

    @amandavillarini

    3 жыл бұрын

    hi Brianna 💜 thank you so so much for your support and your kind words.

  • @howardmencini3040

    @howardmencini3040

    Жыл бұрын

    5 minutes later: Twerking to cardi b songs in front of children, fucking degenerates at gay parades & killing babies. Gtfo, you sluts love rapists. Probably watching 50 shades darker as we speak.

  • @atdyn6427
    @atdyn64278 күн бұрын

    That's horrible. I'm so sorry you went through that.

  • @bufferingsadhu
    @bufferingsadhu3 жыл бұрын

    Hi Amanda, I watched your story and broke into tears many times. I had to pause, recompose myself, and then continue a few times. But at the end of it all, I had a smile on my face, a lingering hope, a hope that you gave me. It was good to see you start a new endeavor. I can't thank you enough and appreciate you enough for sharing this story. I m a man from India, and the situation is worse here when it comes to victim shaming. I've personally known two girls who never reported the assaults that happened to them coz they were certain that society would shame them and certain that their families would punish them too. I have grown up with two sisters and I've seen how hard it is for women. I really applaud your courage. Hope you inspire a lot of women and men and children. Fly my friend, for sky is your limit

  • @amandavillarini

    @amandavillarini

    3 жыл бұрын

    Hello Vinay! I’m sorry that my story made you sad, but I’m glad you were able to smile at the end. Your kind words have made my day brighter! Thank you for your support 💜

  • @ericmagnuson4170
    @ericmagnuson4170 Жыл бұрын

    Thank you for this. Seeing your pain touched me. I am really sorry this happened to you! I think you have a very feisty, bubbly, effervescent personality and a good brain. I am glad that you are finding help through counseling. I think you are a force to be reckoned with and will be even moreso as you get a good handle on this. I had things happen to me in childhood - broken trust big time. So say a little prayer for me if you will. Thank you and best wishes.

  • @daisyc1522
    @daisyc15223 жыл бұрын

    stay strong bby❤️

  • @amandavillarini

    @amandavillarini

    3 жыл бұрын

    daisy c thank you love 💘

  • @amandavillarini

    @amandavillarini

    3 жыл бұрын

    Some comments come and go so idk if I’m replying to the right one but my insta is @amandaidalmis 💖

  • @supreemcourt9181
    @supreemcourt91813 жыл бұрын

    Detectives are blunt and nonchalant because they kno how these cases go. If it went to court, he’s basically pointing out all the loop holes that the guy’s lawyer would use against u. But to have your body evaluated after this happens makes the situation more traumatizing

  • @josephriccardi9735
    @josephriccardi97353 жыл бұрын

    I was raped by a police officer when I was intoxicated. I can relate so much to your story. I was in and out of conciousness. I took a rape kit also by a male doctor. It was so hard to get through. The detectives who investigated my case didn't believe me. They rather believe a cop instead of me. I did sue him and got money but I still rather have f him lose his job as a police officer. I still blame myself from r getting to drunk but doesn't a police officer try to help you instead of taking advantage of you. I was vomiting that night and still the sick bastard raped me. I admire your strength and talking about your story. Thank you for your strength and courage.

  • @amandavillarini

    @amandavillarini

    3 жыл бұрын

    I’m so sorry to hear about what happened, but also thank you for sharing.. it’s so freaking sad to think these police officers that are supposed to keep the peace are the ones taking advantage of others... there’s not one single thing you did wrong that night. I hope you find peace💜

  • @bluwater1422

    @bluwater1422

    2 жыл бұрын

    Im sorry that happened

  • @NilupulieSumanasiri
    @NilupulieSumanasiri3 жыл бұрын

    I just looked through all the comments. And it was truely disturbing to see what everyone has gone through. I hope you all have moved on with your lives ❤️ You all deserve every happiness in the whole world.!

  • @bellatheartist01
    @bellatheartist013 жыл бұрын

    I'm so sorry this happened to you. Hope you are finding peace and healing. Stay strong. 💜💙

  • @themadbassist795
    @themadbassist7955 ай бұрын

    Amanda this video just popped up for me. I watched it and it literally brought tears to my eyes. I am so sorry to hear of what happened to you! I can’t imagine the pain this caused you. You seem like a really cool person and deserve way better than what happened to you. I hope and pray for better days for you my friend! Bless your heart

  • @toniacosta9388
    @toniacosta93883 жыл бұрын

    My heart hurts so bad after watching this. I am so sorry you had to go through this. I wish I could have been there to protect you. Life has always had a way to keep us apart. But soon I WILL be my “sisters keeper” I love you! And if ANYONE.... and i truly mean ANYONE ever makes you feel as if this in any way was your fault or tries to justify this behavior, I promise they are ohhh soo wrong. I love you Amanda!

  • @micmac_billyjack
    @micmac_billyjack3 жыл бұрын

    It took alot of courage to share your story and i could definitely feel your pain. You didn't deserve this bad experience but you sharing it will definitely help others to get through their own similar experience and even help others to avoid such unsuspecting situations. The svu should have had a female detective who specialized in sex assault to investigate your case. I hope someday the healing you need will arrive. You deserve that.

  • @Smartass012

    @Smartass012

    7 ай бұрын

    Often in these cases the woman is if he rapist.

  • @bluebbgbluelove5900
    @bluebbgbluelove59003 жыл бұрын

    Please can we help her get justice for this it’s not fair nothing happened, this is not okay and the detective should be fired that’s not okay! I am so sorry this happened to you

  • @genevieve91

    @genevieve91

    3 жыл бұрын

    If you guys are in the same country, please do something. Help her. Today it's she tomorrow who knows

  • @UdayPratapSingh999
    @UdayPratapSingh9993 жыл бұрын

    It's unfortunate that such terrible incidents are happening and close one are behind it. World should be grateful to you that unlike most of the victims, you have shared your story, hence a large population might learn from your experience, be careful of such misuse of alcohol and drugs. Thanks for sharing your story.

  • @amandavillarini

    @amandavillarini

    3 жыл бұрын

    Thank you for watching 💛

  • @PeaceboneGotFound
    @PeaceboneGotFound3 жыл бұрын

    Thank you for sharing your story. You are so strong and please get the help you need for any PTSD symptoms and any ongoing impacts.

  • @amandavillarini

    @amandavillarini

    3 жыл бұрын

    Thank you for your support 💜💜 I started seeking help a few weeks back :) I speak to someone regularly

  • @chrisbrown-jw1fz
    @chrisbrown-jw1fz2 жыл бұрын

    I am so sorry this happened to you lady. God bless you.

  • @patrickgagnon9662
    @patrickgagnon966210 ай бұрын

    I had that chance to take advantage many times , never did , stopped my friends a few times .....two kinds of people in this world .

  • @dannyguillory8941
    @dannyguillory894115 күн бұрын

    The objectification of women, these perpetrators don't see a person as a person but as an object. The mindset of a rapist, serial killer, etc. all comes from the same place and sadly enough, it stems from low self-esteem, powerlessness and so they engage in this behavior. Anyone who deals with these types of crimes will say: rape is not about sex but power and control. Thank you for sharing your story. You're a good person and no one should ever have to go through what you went through.

  • @hannahroedder936
    @hannahroedder9369 ай бұрын

    I'm so sorry, thanks for sharing. May your story help arm someone with the knowledge of how to avoid such a situation, and what to do if it happens. I think the worst thing in my case is feeling that I should have done something. Even after almost 40 years I fight the urge to blame myself.

  • @pueblodonna4775
    @pueblodonna47753 жыл бұрын

    Betrayed is the feeling

  • @AgathaVitoriaTavares
    @AgathaVitoriaTavares3 жыл бұрын

    I'm so sorry this happened to you... Thank you for sharing your story 🌻

  • @amandavillarini

    @amandavillarini

    3 жыл бұрын

    Thank you for watching and above all, thanks for your support 💜✨

  • @karolarroyo5648
    @karolarroyo56483 жыл бұрын

    You are so strong keep on going and thank you for you advice ❤ God bless you 🙏.

  • @Incubusnut
    @Incubusnut3 жыл бұрын

    Ugh... I’m so sorry this happened to you. Stay strong.

  • @celeste7183
    @celeste71832 жыл бұрын

    Thank you for sharing your story. You are so strong and what happened to you was absolutely not your fault. Unfortunately, I can relate to your story. I was SA while drunk as well and the emotions and turmoil that carried after the incident I wouldn’t wish upon my worst enemy. I blamed myself for months and I still do sometimes even though I have evidence (txts) of the guy saying he’s sorry and got caught up in the heat of the moment but didn’t mean any harm. This led me to further convince myself that it must’ve been an understanding. Now it’s almost a year later and I have learned and grown but some of the same emotions you are talking about in this video are things I struggle with as well. I’m here for you if you ever want to talk or someone to listen ❤️

  • @amandavillarini

    @amandavillarini

    2 жыл бұрын

    You are so kind!!! 💖 I appreciate you sharing your story with me.

  • @beastm0de585
    @beastm0de5856 ай бұрын

    So sorry this happened to you. You seem like an amazing person. I always wish there was something I could do to help and make you feel better.

  • @amandavillarini

    @amandavillarini

    6 ай бұрын

    Your kind words are enough. Thank you 🙏🏼

  • @paulgrant2314
    @paulgrant23143 жыл бұрын

    I am a survivor of historical abuse while in care as a child it taken me 16 years to tell someone I told the police and in July 2005 my perpetrator was sentenced to 8 years in prison and he collapsed in the dock and I felt everything being returned ie my dignity and my pride my self respect and my innocence my heart goes out to all who do not get justice stay strong

  • @amandavillarini

    @amandavillarini

    3 жыл бұрын

    I’m so sorry you had to go through that. Thank you for sharing your story, it gives me hope that some day I will also get justice.

  • @AhmedHussein.81

    @AhmedHussein.81

    11 ай бұрын

    They sentenced him to 8 years with no evidence??

  • @alinaserrano3243
    @alinaserrano32433 жыл бұрын

    This video helped me keep my sobriety today. I love you and you are such a beautiful inspiration. Keep thriving. ❤️

  • @amandavillarini

    @amandavillarini

    3 жыл бұрын

    thanks love 💜 keep being strong!!

  • @vanessaroyer5030

    @vanessaroyer5030

    3 жыл бұрын

    I been sober year to i still struggle till this day

  • @alinaserrano3243

    @alinaserrano3243

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@vanessaroyer5030 one day at a time. I struggle too but there’s nothing a drink. Or drug. Won’t make worse.

  • @vanessaroyer5030

    @vanessaroyer5030

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@alinaserrano3243 u right I'm 35 years old came along ways got 5 kids I live for them now

  • @sc8452
    @sc84524 жыл бұрын

    Wow, Im so sorry you had to go through that. I hope that you were able to get counseling or help. I know its a tough thing to experience you are so strong for telling your story its not easy ❤️

  • @amandavillarini

    @amandavillarini

    4 жыл бұрын

    You're so kind! Thank you.

  • @genesishernandez1106
    @genesishernandez1106 Жыл бұрын

    you are so strong sharing your story lots of love xoxo you are not alone , it happend to me when i was 23 and my story its on my channel also trigger warning. we all want to share SA needs to stop at all ages male or female , and the after effect the aftermath of SA is life changeing but i want to say not alone if do feel you are alone . its never your fault

  • @Liyalibrary
    @Liyalibrary3 жыл бұрын

  • @amandavillarini

    @amandavillarini

    3 жыл бұрын

    Thank you beautiful 💜

  • @foodomania.8535
    @foodomania.85354 жыл бұрын

    Your just so confident.....hats off to you for sharing this story....god bless you

  • @amandavillarini

    @amandavillarini

    4 жыл бұрын

    Thank you🥺💖

  • @raynewton7452
    @raynewton74523 жыл бұрын

    I’m so sorry to hear this. Thanks for sharing. Good lesson for men and women.

  • @ArGenTina_562
    @ArGenTina_5623 ай бұрын

    It's okay mami. You don't have to explain why you needed to vent through your channel. It's okay to vent my love. I'm listening. We all are here for you. I'm very sorry that this has happened to you. I understand how you feel. I've been there more than once so I get it. I'm here for you if no one else is. ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

  • @amandavillarini

    @amandavillarini

    3 ай бұрын

    thank u❤️❤️❤️❤️

  • @ArGenTina_562

    @ArGenTina_562

    3 ай бұрын

    @@amandavillarini you're welcome 🤗

  • @bryanrucker8256
    @bryanrucker82563 жыл бұрын

    Stay strong I know you can get Through this. Keep telling your story

  • @isafcnobrega
    @isafcnobrega3 жыл бұрын

    I'm so sorry, so deeply sorry about this!! You're so strong to come up here and tell your story, so brave, thank you for sharing!! Is there any other place I could share my story with you that's not out here?

  • @amandavillarini

    @amandavillarini

    3 жыл бұрын

    Thank you 💖 you can always dm me on insta @amandaidalmis or email me at amandaidalmis@gmail.com !!!

  • @martinda7446
    @martinda74463 жыл бұрын

    You are amazing, I'm so impressed how together and brave you are. This isn't a case with any grey areas at all, blatant. I think they spiked your drinks too. I think you would be wonderful to have as a friend. Shame these guys couldn't see your qualities and just saw you as a sexual object. I'm late as usual, subscribed.

  • @amandavillarini

    @amandavillarini

    3 жыл бұрын

    Thank you so much for the kind words, I appreciate it. And also thanks for subscribing :-)

  • @kyimblack5215
    @kyimblack521519 күн бұрын

    None of my stuff has ever been reported because i know this is exactly what will happen. Nothing. Literally nothing. Unfortunately, my daughter went through similar a couple of years ago when she was 6, and i did report those things. Neither person who did these things were ever properly punished. She is STILL on a waiting list for counselling and they REFUSE to give me any kind of counselling. Its gotten to the point the services do not like me because i call too much. The victims always seem to be at fault regardless of age and its disgusting. Ive given up trying at this point. The best ive been able to do is try and write about everything thats happened. Its not a physical book, but ive been posting online. I hope youre doing better 🥰

  • @darrahnichole
    @darrahnichole3 жыл бұрын

    Thank you💕

  • @elin3284
    @elin32842 жыл бұрын

    I recently got sexually abused and I don’t know if I’ll ever fully recover it,mostly because I don’t remember most of it and I can’t process it. I just feel used and a part of me has gone missing, it’s hard to not feel like I owed it to him.

  • @amandavillarini

    @amandavillarini

    2 жыл бұрын

    hi, I’m really sorry to hear you had to go through something like this :-( it will take time but I promise it gets easier. The most important thing to remember is that no matter what the circumstances were- you don’t owe anyone, anything EVER!!!! I don’t give a damn if you were drunk or led them on, etc. You are the sole decider of what happens to you and your body. I need you to know that you are loved and things will get better ❤️‍🩹 It is okay and normal to feel the way you feel. 100% valid to be angry and upset. Try not to hide those feelings/emotions. But please seek help, whether it’s from friends, family, counseling etc. don’t be afraid to reach out.

  • @firstpablo
    @firstpablo2 жыл бұрын

    Amanda, I’m sorry you had to go through that. You certainly didn’t deserve this.

  • @sparrow4815
    @sparrow48152 жыл бұрын

    thank you, you make me feel brave enough to face it

  • @ICE69ROG
    @ICE69ROG5 ай бұрын

    Sorry about what you went through. I don't think it would help to confront them about what happened, it would probably make it worse for you. In my opinion you would be better served to continue being strong and move on putting the whole thing behind you. Being served the way you were by the system that was supposed to help you is bad enough, but to continue rehashing it in your mind just makes it harder for you to move on. I wish you good luck in finding the happiness you deserve.

  • @genevieve91
    @genevieve913 жыл бұрын

    Hurting to watch this video 😢 I was kind of hoping for justice n punishment for the culprit but it didn't end that way, ... Karma will find them. What a brave girl you are. You must be saving a lot of girls thru this video👍. I felt your pain esp about the medical n legal procedure thereafter. Stay strong girl Love you lots

  • @heavenhoops5032
    @heavenhoops50323 жыл бұрын

    Your ridiculously strong sister I love you and God loves grow and build a relationship with Him and He will heal your soul and spirit 🙏

  • @bundy3331
    @bundy33316 ай бұрын

    I'm so very sorry to hear what was done to you,, it was totally wrong/,, no excuses at all.. I would've hoped for those guys to be held accountable... I will be hoping an praying for your recovery an healing, That your not at fault at all. I'm just so sorry it happened to you, I hope the best for you in life. God Bless

  • @harshakamat6883
    @harshakamat68833 жыл бұрын

    You are so strong Amanda. Stay strong.😊☺️

  • @rachelrepp9333
    @rachelrepp93332 жыл бұрын

    i just wanted to say how important this video was for me, i was s3xually a66lted for almost a year straight by my moms ex, ad r'ed by my ex annd this video mad me feel so much stronger than ive ever been and its been over 2 years since both, watching u explain ylour story makes me feel so much more power over my emotions and feel so nice to tell my story to my counclor

  • @troyecara7017
    @troyecara70173 жыл бұрын

    Found this video on its one year anniversary. I’m so sorry. I hope you are doing well and healing ❤️

  • @amandavillarini

    @amandavillarini

    3 жыл бұрын

    Thank you for being so kind!!!! I’m actually seeing a therapist, face to face today :D no more zoom meetings hahaha, time for some much needed healing ! 💜

  • @troyecara7017

    @troyecara7017

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@amandavillarini Yay that's great! I missed face to face interaction :)

  • @johngeraldcalhoun1944
    @johngeraldcalhoun19443 жыл бұрын

    your beautiful inside and outside. not your fault stay strong hun

  • @nr6749
    @nr67493 жыл бұрын

    Its not your fault that you didn't go straight to the hospital or did things like take a shower. I thinks its about 70% of victims don't even try to report. I was raped as a teenager and I didn't report, so many survivors don't for many reasons. Its crazy hard to think clearly when you just went through trauma. Every time survivors speak out it counts. It makes a HUGE difference for other people going through it.

  • @amandavillarini

    @amandavillarini

    3 жыл бұрын

    thank you 💜

  • @Jess-wk5jo

    @Jess-wk5jo

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@amandavillarini how long in prison boy who 21 years old who rape or sexual assault girl who 21 years old in the uk

  • @amandavillarini

    @amandavillarini

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@Jess-wk5jo not sure, it really depends on so many factors. Like if the assailant can even be persecuted? Is there evidence? What are your local laws on sexual assault? Too many factors involved.

  • @f.maria7835
    @f.maria78353 жыл бұрын

    People like that guy should be put to jail

  • @angelslacks9441
    @angelslacks94413 жыл бұрын

    I'm sorry this happened Amanda. Keeping you in my prayers. Take care ❤

  • @amandavillarini

    @amandavillarini

    3 жыл бұрын

    thank you ❤️

  • @user-lk8yh7bu5o
    @user-lk8yh7bu5oАй бұрын

    YOU GOT THAT FREE SPIRIT THING DOWN GOOD.

  • @alanhenes1504
    @alanhenes1504 Жыл бұрын

    God Bless! Thoughts and Prayers to heal

  • @samanthaw5148
    @samanthaw51483 жыл бұрын

    It wasn’t your fault and I hope one day you get some kind of closure or feeling of peace. What happened to you will never be okay but you are resilient. Thank you for sharing with us. 💙

  • @amandavillarini

    @amandavillarini

    3 жыл бұрын

    Thanks for the support 💜

  • @jerseygirlforever8722
    @jerseygirlforever87223 жыл бұрын

    Amanda thank you so much for sharing your story, you are not alone. Your so-called friend is a real scumbag and should have had your back! Just keep it moving forward and just take the lessons learned and get whatever helps heal you. I think you are cute as a button! So I have subscribed to your channel! God bless you, sweet girl. Lean on God and he will help heal your heart.

  • @kevinwatkins1365
    @kevinwatkins13653 жыл бұрын

    Thank you for sharing your story with the world. From one survivor to another I know how difficult it is to have to tell your story. Thank you and God bless

  • @stevendaniels5501
    @stevendaniels55013 жыл бұрын

    First of all young lady that was very courageous of you I'm highly impressed right you sharing your story the way you did total honesty let me say first of all that you really have to be careful with the friends that you choose and how much you trust them anybody that does something like what they did to you will definitely be dealt with by the father that is what you call Karma and definitely know that they will suffer behind just know that you you have no control over that situation so let it go and let God because he definitely will I love your share definitely know you are a beautiful young lady always always keep your head up going about your life with a smile on your face all the negativity you have around you will block your blessings from coming down .

  • @stevendaniels5501

    @stevendaniels5501

    3 жыл бұрын

    💖😜

  • @caroleejohnson1553
    @caroleejohnson1553 Жыл бұрын

    He will never say sorry.Don't hold your breath.

  • @deborahbaker4770
    @deborahbaker47703 жыл бұрын

    You are very brave and I don’t feel that men should be in a special victim’s unit because most men are not that empathetic in that situation I’m sorry that it happened to you but your video may help someone else in your same situation !! Today is February 1 2021 and I just subscribed to your channel. 👍🏻 🙏🏻🙏🏻

  • @shashalarose4053
    @shashalarose40533 жыл бұрын

    First Time Here!, U I’ve A NewSubie🤍 I Understand U Going Through Also😭💔🙏🏽👌🏾💯

  • @vanessa9198
    @vanessa91983 жыл бұрын

    there was no signs and it’s not ur fault dawg ur really beautiful & ur not alone. 💜

  • @vanessa9198

    @vanessa9198

    3 жыл бұрын

    I hope you get closure on that part of your life.

  • @amandavillarini

    @amandavillarini

    3 жыл бұрын

    thanks my love! i'm so grateful to have sweet, beautiful people like you around :,-)

  • @stephendenehey2809
    @stephendenehey2809 Жыл бұрын

    It could happen to anyone at a party. Dreadful that no one was watching out for you this time. Closure means at some point you need to confront him and discuss what happened. He owes you big time for the pain he has put you through. You did not deserve it. No one does.

  • @AlanMordue-hx5wv
    @AlanMordue-hx5wv7 ай бұрын

    I feel for you Amanda, how horrible. I am an Englishman and coincidentally I was in San Antonio recently. men need to stop treating women like objects, these guys disgust me!!!

  • @JenniferHampton-pq9td
    @JenniferHampton-pq9td8 күн бұрын

    You are worthy of being a wife. Every girl is worthy of growing up and becoming a wife

  • @euskedyzestoa2008
    @euskedyzestoa20083 жыл бұрын

    Que mujer tan fuerte y entera! A tu edad pasar todo eso es realmente traumático y pesado MUY pesado, ojalá como dices les sirva a muchas jóvenes y se salven, ese tipo de situaciones en fiestas modernas no sabe uno en que terminarán, cuídate mucho chica hermosa ojalá puedas re-hacer tu vida tienes muchos años por delante, saludos desde Mexico, en donde este tipo de casos se da por todos lados y es imparable y total impunidad, God bless...

  • @amandavillarini

    @amandavillarini

    3 жыл бұрын

    Muchísimas gracias por el apoyo, ojalá todo te vaya bien 💖

  • @edithalexandra.2957
    @edithalexandra.29573 жыл бұрын

    So sorry they haven’t done anything you should get justice yourself girl

  • @jeanmufaya18
    @jeanmufaya182 жыл бұрын

    I wish they'd give female detectives to investigate such cases maybe they'd relate more. I'm so sorry it happened to you and my heart breaks for you 💔

  • @timmorey9844
    @timmorey98443 жыл бұрын

    Hello Amanda, I watched your video and listened very intently. Very sorry for you, only you know how you feel inside and only you can Heal yourself. Thru no fault of you own and to be honest due to the fact that the Local P.D.are over whelmed and inadequate to say the least you were not connected to the right people who could have and would have found the truth and acted on it, I can say this with certainty. The Texas Rangers are the absolute best regarding matters such as this but you could not have known at the time. If you still have the desire to gain some closure I would suggest making contact with them. They will put you in contact with the Rangers who handle these matters. Again I hope you can have some inner peace and God Bless. I live a hundred miles south of you in Skidmore.

  • @amandavillarini

    @amandavillarini

    3 жыл бұрын

    hi Tim :) I appreciate the kind words, thank you!!

  • @louismcdermott5350
    @louismcdermott53502 жыл бұрын

    Karma's a bitch he'll get what he deserves sooner or later. 💯

  • @troy528986562
    @troy5289865622 жыл бұрын

    Trust becomes more difficult after those things happen

  • @akki7014
    @akki70143 жыл бұрын

    I love you ❤️ Stay strong.

  • @playinem121
    @playinem12110 ай бұрын

    I am a retired attorney who did some criminal defense work including a stint as a Public Defender. First I would like to salute you for having the bravery to tell your story. The truth is however that this is a cautionary tale for all young females who put themselves in. That kind of situation. It may not be fair but Justice is and if someone like you was on the flip side of this you would probably be complaining vociferously about the injustice of being prosecuted/persecuted criminally for a situation like this. It is virtually impossible for the state to prosecute a crime like this. The people you feel victimized you most likely did not reach out to you after the fact because the authorities advised them to have no contact with you. Again IAm sorry this happened to you but, I will use it as a teaching moment for my granddaughters…if you don’t want to find yourself in a bad situation, don’t put yourself in what is potentially a very bad situation. I hope you are able to move forward and live the rest of your life.

  • @jellams1317
    @jellams13177 ай бұрын

    This video is quite old when I watched. But as a Social Worker and worked as a victim advocate in michigan. I have heard a few stories like this. I am so sorry the system is or was so f up. You sound like you have certainly had normal reactions to a abnormal event. I feel every thing you said is a normal feeling and you did nothing wrong. I hope you are living a wonderful life that you would want

  • @amandavillarini

    @amandavillarini

    7 ай бұрын

    thank you.

  • @DJcyberslash
    @DJcyberslash3 жыл бұрын

    Woah they make you do all that for the kit? That is crazy. So sorry to hear that.

  • @whiskeybuilder6335
    @whiskeybuilder63353 жыл бұрын

    So sorry you had to endure this. Chin up kiddo! Life is what you make it. Don't allow these losers to take one more minute of happiness from you.

  • @amandavillarini

    @amandavillarini

    3 жыл бұрын

    Exactly what I intend to do 💜

  • @brittanybittner3881
    @brittanybittner38813 жыл бұрын

    I watched your video im soo sorry I went through a sexual assault too I was drugged with the date rape drug and I didn't remember a lot that happened I found out for sure when I got the rape kit and it was positive I also had bruises and stuff on me it really sucks but the guy was arrested and convicted he's in jail still im glad you had the courage to tell your story 💟

  • @amandavillarini

    @amandavillarini

    3 жыл бұрын

    Thank you for your support and thanks for sharing 💜

  • @MsLBsugar
    @MsLBsugar11 ай бұрын

    You are not alone.

  • @87mrreynolds
    @87mrreynolds Жыл бұрын

    Ladies this sick evil world is full of evil creatures looking for valuable girls to pray on please 🙏 I beg you be so careful and don’t trust any one especially never drink a beer unless you see the top opened in front of you I do this Iam male but have traveled all over Mexico and lived there

  • @willworkfordoge
    @willworkfordoge2 жыл бұрын

    wonder if you could sue them in civil court.

  • @williamandrewbird224
    @williamandrewbird2243 жыл бұрын

    Please be strong and healthy

  • @joejackson73
    @joejackson733 жыл бұрын

    I'm very sorry that you had to endure this!!!!

  • @amandavillarini

    @amandavillarini

    3 жыл бұрын

    thanks for your support 💜

  • @lukehorning3404
    @lukehorning34044 ай бұрын

    Well done and I’m very sorry

  • @williamandrewbird224
    @williamandrewbird2243 жыл бұрын

    Be strong and brave

  • @jwillzcommonsence8870
    @jwillzcommonsence88709 ай бұрын

    I guess the signs would be wanting to get waisted at a party around a bunch of teen guys!! Doesn’t give them rights to your body, bt it opens the door for those kind of ppl to have the opportunity

  • @raiderrod3584
    @raiderrod35843 жыл бұрын

    My heart goes out to you. I hope you're healing yourself somehow. This coward will get what's coming to him. Karma is a bitch.

  • @jayulysses3701
    @jayulysses37013 жыл бұрын

    This is just insane, u have no idea or maybe u do but how much this happens and it's absolutely disgusting and I hate to say it but I been around ass holes who did this on the daily and but very sadly nothing was done by the law, that's where I had to "try" to stop it (beating these guys ass) and it haunts me even if it's been 12 years sense, just drilled into my fuckin head repeatingly telling myself I should have everything at the first sign I came across i can't live with such pain, SMH I'm so sorry u going through this shit, I wish u find someone who can take u to a whole different place where u just exit this pain and into happiness, u seem like a very forthcoming and very open minded individual who deserves nothing but as much love and respect , ur very beautiful and to be honest thr isn't to many men left in this world who has any morals left and respect for others and thr partners, so many of my friends and even Exs have told me basically the same story it was so weird like if they were all thr together going through it, same dam story it just makes me sick and right away I get very mad and defensive reliving the shit I been thro and have seen. For me I go straight to physical violence because it's something I feel comfortable doing because of my boxing years and knowing how like 99% of these cases are not solved and actually make the whole experience worse. If you would like to talk more about these stories and actually talk to someone especially a male, I'll be more then open to speaking with u as I have done with others because I know from these stories my friends say is that it's great to speak to male who actually understands and his perspective or view of this abuse/rape culture that has been plaguing and spreading like a virus . I truly will be checking out any new videos u post with updates to see how u r doing and how ur life ended up turning out. Sorry for the inconvenience of this long message. I am sure you'll be a very powerful brave beautiful women in ur years to come (well u r already 🤪) lol. Well stay true to urself and always find the light! Take care stay safe and healthy , with much love from Thornton Colorado to u ❤ .....

  • @amandavillarini

    @amandavillarini

    3 жыл бұрын

    Thank you for taking the time watch my video and thank you so much for writing this, I appreciate your kind words 💜 I now have a friend in Thornton :)

  • @Jess-wk5jo
    @Jess-wk5jo3 жыл бұрын

    @amanda idalmis hello amanda i have questions for over rape and sexual assault 1 Is it sill rape or sexual assault is you don't can't consent to it at age of 21 and over like 20s 30s and over? 2 can girls get rape and sexual assault without having to wear dress and can girls get rape and sexual assault with wearing pants too not having dress on I have always wonder that? 3 how long in prison boy who 21 years old who rape or sexual assault girl who 21 years old in the uk

  • @monyjohnson6032
    @monyjohnson6032 Жыл бұрын

    Moral to this story…guys aren’t allowed to not be responsible for their actions when they’re drunk and girls should never drink anything that they didn’t make or watch be made. Sucks that your friend was involved tho

  • @Smartass012

    @Smartass012

    7 ай бұрын

    Often women are the drunk rapist. And don't remember but assume the guy raped them. If women always blamed themselves and never took responsibility wouldn't the narrative be female perpetrators and male victims yet it's the opposite. Often drunk women's own behavior is hyper sexual while alcohol actually lowers male a drive . From waste down. And more often pass out.

  • @ashwinipolade4980
    @ashwinipolade49803 жыл бұрын

    Dont judge yourself. It's not your fault at all. The man will never be happy in his life

  • @amandavillarini

    @amandavillarini

    3 жыл бұрын

    I believe karma will eventually take care of it ✌🏼✨

  • @peterwilliamson8721
    @peterwilliamson87213 жыл бұрын

    I'm saddened that sorry assed men feel this is the only way to express themselves is through this humiliating rape (Cosby style) don't always be so trusting you are a beautiful young woman and you should always keep your guard up, and follow your gut, stop drinking.

  • @Cazador60140
    @Cazador6014014 күн бұрын

    Chilling out with friends and people I dont know , having a good time , well ......

  • @marlenejasmin3036
    @marlenejasmin30363 жыл бұрын

    you’re so brave and very strong! god bless you baby girl ❤️ #metoo

  • @Smartass012

    @Smartass012

    7 ай бұрын

    Often in these stories the woman is the rapist