My rescue cat Lila is difficult but I've decided to keep her
Day 21: It's been three weeks since I've adopted Lila. It's been challenging. The last few days were difficult and I was really thinking of bringing her back to the SPCA. I practically didn't sleep thinking on how I was going to explain it. But thank God I slept on it. And I woke up with a different perspective. She might not be giving me the joy I expected right now.
But it's not about me. It's about her. I will give, give to her.
Forget my joy. It's her joy. I'm gonna give her the best life possible. A life she never had or could ever dream of when she was living in a small space with a hoard of cats.
I love her too much.
PS: my fear of bites have to do with the fact that if she pierces the skin, I would have to go the ER and that can be a 12 to 16 hour affair in my neck of the woods.
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@user_1abc
Ай бұрын
She's v beautiful indeed. Consider yourself lucky she allows you to be in her house. 🐈Humans are often confused about who the pet is and who the master is in a human-kitty setting. Once they realise it - they stop over-petting and cats get a bit more forgiving and gracious 😃Again thanks for sharing her video!
@LadyLiLa777
Ай бұрын
@@user_1abc 🤣🤣🤣🤣
@voyaristika5673
Ай бұрын
Jackson Galaxy on KZread has decades of experience with cats. Maybe he has some ideas and explanations.
She's a keeper. 😊 Sometimes they don't need to be cuddly, they just need a good life and safety and that's a joy to be able to give her that.
She's showing you her back, and spreading out like a puddle with you walking around her. She trusts you completely even though she doesn't know how to interact appropriately yet. If she likes to hunt feet, you might try replacing that with a "fishing rod" toy with a stuffed animal on the end so she can get that energy out in a safe way.
@LadyLiLa777
Ай бұрын
Great idea!
I really do think that just sitting next to her quietly and without trying to pet her or disturb her will pay dividends. Might take a while but I do think she’ll get there. Bless you for taking care of her
Time takes time We had a feral cat several years ago and it took us 3 years before we could pet her
@CLark-yk7oz
25 күн бұрын
Can relate, takes time. Get that. (Sent by my super fragile Tortie rescue age 7, I can’t hold her, but she lives like a princess) ✌️
❤, she also need some time to trust her new mom and surrounding. she might not be the cuddly type, but when she adjusts she will definitely make more contact specially that she is an only cat. Some cats take months.
Lila sounds a lot like our Annie. Annie was a tuxedo too. Queen of the castle and was not shy about letting you know if you displeased her. She started out as my wife's cat but gradually I became her favorite. When I had to stop working due to disability, Annie was there to make sure I focused on her and didn't feel sorry for myself.
@LadyLiLa777
Ай бұрын
Kitty's are such a blessing in so many ways. Bless you
It is about her! You have to give them a lot of space and time. Cats naturally gravitate towards people who don't like cats because those people don't bother them. It takes a lot of time to build that trust and comfort where cats will always seek you out and like spending time with you.
Good on you for keeping her. I'm sure she'll return the love once she understands she's safe and she trusts you.
@LadyLiLa777
Ай бұрын
It was just a passing moment. I would not be able to bring her back. She's been through enough.
@andysmith1996
Ай бұрын
@@LadyLiLa777 It's always been my experience that, if you leave timid cats to themselves and not try to pat them, they'll end up gravitating to you in their own time.
look at this beautiful angel, how peacefully she is resting
She's purring so it seems she enjoys being there and in your company. I reckon biting is just her habitual reaction to whatever kind of environment she had previously. Now that she's 8 years old, it's something hard for her to shake off. To a hammer everything is a nail type thing. I believe if you persevere, she will change. Oh, also when reaching to her, try by giving your hand palm side up. I notice many cats and dogs have different reaction to palm side up or down. Thank you for not giving up. All the best!
Please be patient. Let her settle awhile.
@LadyLiLa777
Ай бұрын
Oh I will. I'm too attach to her now
I brought my kitty TJ home from the shelter, and he was very shy at first. He was much like your kitty in the beginning, but I knew he was a sweet boy inside. In time, when I allowed him to go at his own pace, he warmed up with me, and today 11 years later, we are the closest of friends. He is a great bed buddy. I hope the best for you and your sweet angel kitty 🐱😇❤
I got my Tuxedo cat Henriette 2 years ago from a shelter. Now she's 17 y.o.. Touching the feet is at the end of trust - not the beginning! Always start with letting her sniff your hand! Then you can cuddle her cheek slowly and gently. Maybe under the chin? ALWAYS stop when there is the slightest sign of dislike! Your cat has to learn that you respect her and stop when SHE wants you to. There will come a time when you can cuddle her breat and belly! Cuddle her legs. Gently touch her paws. When she agrees to might be allowed to cuddle her feet. It all takes time! And most important is that youz are reliable and that she can trust you!
She's beautiful!!!!♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️ I love cats so much. They all have different personalities. The biting is how some play and in some cases they are love bites.
@anakatrien2463
28 күн бұрын
@@peekaboots01 I love my kitty's sweet love nibbles 😸😇❤
Please be patient with Lila. She was in a hoarding situation, and she will have had some trauma. I have seen documentaries where the animals were not getting enough food and infighting was likely. In most hoarding cases the animals reside in unsanitary conditions. She looks like she is calm in the video, as long as you do not startle her. At least you announce yourself to her before trying to touch her. She will get better with patience. Thank you for adopting her. ❤❤
@LadyLiLa777
Ай бұрын
Yes it could not have been a good life for her. I will tell her story shortly, though the SPCA did not want to share everything with me.
Thank you for adopting an adult cat !... dont try to change her, Change yourself instead ! I mean it kindly, of course... Every situation is a challenge and an opportunity. She came to teach you something, and you'll figure it out. You both will grow together. Maybe don't expect her to act different, because it's her safe way to cope for now. We're always hoping for a certain outcome ! See how perfect she is... Stop counting days. Cherish them. And if you come to her, why touch her like you're sorry ? Just sit and read next to her, learn to relax , feel fulfilled already. Cats dont come for no reason, as you probably know. That little angel is very lucky now..... Much Love to you ❤
Keep it up :) I remember when I adopted my cat- she would run away if I even made eye contact with her It took 3 months just to touch her and about 6 before she actually let her playfulness shine After a year we were absolute besties It was so special watching the layers of fear melt away into her silly personality You’re doing everything right It can definitely be frustrating that your timelines don’t coincide, but Lila will show you her sweet side soon enough ❤️
I think it's very good you're keeping her! They always say don't feel bad if you have to return a pet. Sometimes it just doesn't "fit". But you've accepted her as she is, on her terms. Maybe that's why you were chosen by the distribution center angels. They knew she would have a good home with you, you would accept her. She seems to like you, the way she looked at you. Maybe in time.... 🙏. Thank you for loving this pretty girl with an 'over bite'. ❤😊❤
@LadyLiLa777
Ай бұрын
I realized that it wasn't about me, but about her. I adopted her to give to her.
It's nice to meet you, friend!!! I am very grateful that you chose to keep the kitty. Her love and trust will grow with time. She has likely had a very hard past and you are the first piece of heaven that she has even tasted. It takes a lot of patience and love, but her love will grow. Trust, when we've been hurt, takes a lot of time for humans to grow too. You are doing the right thing. I like that she had friendly purrs and a cute little trill greeting already. That's a good first step. Thank you for being the patient cat mom she needs. I wish you continued success and happiness.
God bless you for rescuing and keeping her. She’s absolutely gorgeous and looks just like my Kendra from the color of her eyes to what I call her shawl on her back. You sound like a very loving owner. Kendra was a feral cat and it took us at least a year to get used to and know each other. From the very beginning and even until now, eight years later, she’s still not crazy about being petted. However, she’s loves sitting and sleeping with me, and follows me constantly. ❤️❤️
Just give her time. Sometimes, it takes a while. Don't force yourself on her. Let her come to you on her terms. I rescued a female cat when she was 6 years old. It took almost 6 months before we became friends. She passed away when she was 18 years old. I still miss her.
I love naughty kitties. They’re my favorite type of cat.
@LadyLiLa777
Ай бұрын
This is my first naughty kitty...I'm starting to enjoy it myself
Our rescue kitty Ivy (also a very pretty tuxedo) was 2 years old and showed affection, but was very standoffish and defensive, biting and not allowing certain touches. I too wanted a kitty that would sleep on the bed w/me. Now she's 7 years old and sleeps on the bed, first at the feet, then at the hip, finally up by the pillows. Time is how things change, cats evolve often slowly, then we notice and it seems sudden. We love our Ivy and are always glad that we adopted her.
@LadyLiLa777
Ай бұрын
They are a blessing. Lila is gradually warming up. Hope you have many more years with your Ivy.
@GrafStorm
Ай бұрын
@@LadyLiLa777 Ivy has a large vocabulary which seems to grow over time, also she won't be picked up and held for more than 45 sec. Not a lap kitty, I can hold and pet on my lap a few seconds, then she's ready to go, :) All the best with Lila!
It may take some time before she trust you. Thank you for giving her a chance. Who knows what she endured prior. Probably neglect and no socialization.
After my feral kitty was fixed the behavior improved over a few months. Now...What a a Sweetheart ❤❤❤
I had to say goodbye to my KittyKat last week. That's her in my profile pic. She loved Amazon boxes. My home isn't the same without her 😢
@anakatrien2463
Ай бұрын
@@rosiered3403 all of my deepest condolences to you for your loss of your sweet angel kitty kat. she was truly a beautiful girl. my kitty TJ is in my profile pic, and he is my closest friend, so I understand. I know in my heart that your sweet angel kitty is with you now and always will be 😿❤
@rosiered3403
Ай бұрын
@@anakatrien2463 Thank you for your kind words. Have you heard of the poem Rainbow Bridge? It soothes me to read that poem. Whether it's true or not doesn't matter.
@anakatrien2463
Ай бұрын
@@rosiered3403 I have heard of the rainbow bridge, but I didn't know it was a poem. I will have to read it. I am so glad that it brings you peace, and comfort. I believe in my heart that our animal friends will meet us again someday, and that until that time, they are always with us 🐱🐶😇❤
@rosiered3403
Ай бұрын
@@anakatrien2463 Thank you. Hug.
@anakatrien2463
Ай бұрын
@@rosiered3403 warmest hugs 🤗
She may warm up in the future. She’ll learn to trust you more in her own time.
Yay! Thanks for saving Lila. She'll come around. Try one of those long back-scratchers
Every cat has a personality, and not all cats are cuddly. Some cats that react and bite hands and feet will suddenly stop doing so. Give her lots of respect and love and you'll have a special relationship with her. Cats are the best, even difficult cats.
Keep Lila…she will come around. She adopted this behavior to protect herself so it will take time on her timeline to shift. Thank you for accepting her as she is. Sending angels of love.
@LadyLiLa777
29 күн бұрын
Oh! she's a keeper. I'm so attached to her now
Lovely catty 😊
GOOD for you..have some patience
I think kitty needs to get used to new home and to you. I rescued two cats who were living on the streets, it took them about 2 mths to adjiust. You're an angel for taking taking Lila in and being so patient... Good luck. ❤😸
@LadyLiLa777
Ай бұрын
You are right
It takes time. She needs to get used to the smells in the house.
sometimes it takes awhile. don't give up she'll be worth it sounds like she needs time trusting humans again 💜
She didn't look angry or annoyed when you touched her. At all, at any time. Her eyes did not get dark, her ears did not go back, she did not get a hateful look on her face. I was waiting for you to just let her sniff your hand and move slowly toward her back rather than toward her head/face. Don't give up, I think she will be good with time. Thank You for deciding to keep her, and loving her regardless. You are a blessing to her, this beautiful elder girl.
@LadyLiLa777
20 күн бұрын
Yes, I've switched to using my hand at the back when petting and picking her up. Makes a world of difference
It's nice that you respect her but you shouldn't be afraid of her. Getting bit and scratched is part of owning a cat. I'm not saying you should force her to let her pet you but try not to take it as going back to square one if she bites or scratches you for just being near her. If you stand your ground and don't give them too much of a reaction, they'll learn that you're willing to put up with them and stand your ground. That's just my opinion on things though, as someone who has two cats of my own.
@LadyLiLa777
Ай бұрын
You are right. I've never dealt with a difficult cat nor one that scratches and bites. I need to handle her differently. I guess you could say I was a bit scared of her
Although we didn't adopt, our two cats were pretty similar. They took a while to warm up to us, but, if you let them come to you they will. And lots of food :)
I had a cat with similar personality. He was agressive, he didn't like to be touched and cuddeld. It is because he was socialised to late. Sometimes he allowed me to pet him only when he approached by himself to me and only on his head and chin. He was difficult but we let him to be with us tto the end of his life (almost 15 years). We were takig care of him. And that's it. We had other cats at the same time very sweet and cuddly so we didn't bothered him. Give your cat more time, it is new situation for her . And cat can feel your emotions . So when you approach to her with fear and stressed she senses this and that is why she does'nt like you to touch her. So, relax first and enjoy time wit Lila.
@LadyLiLa777
19 күн бұрын
Very nicely said. Lila comes from a cat hoarding situation, I doubt she was ever socialised. First time with a difficult cat, but she's getting so much better. She will never be a lap cat and I've accepted that. I respect her boundaries and let her be.
@monikam2286
18 күн бұрын
@@LadyLiLa777 This is the best what you can do for now, accept situation and don;t be stressed to much. You gave Lila home, now she have to feel that she is safe and get used to your presence. But when not bothered cat is agressive and attack you without any reason the best way is to ask for advise cats behaviorist. Cats change their behavior, habits and routines over the time, like people do. I expierienced this with each one of my cats. One of them was a lap cat when he was young, then stopped when he became senior years later. I accepted that and didn't force him to sit on my laps. Let's hope Lila will become more approachable, more easygoing kitty one day. (Sorry for my English, I am not native speaker). Take care.
Aww LiLa will come around She has been through a lot😢 So glad you are keeping her that would finish her off if you gave her back. I would just let her be LiLa is hypersensitive to any stimulation and she is older too. Have you tried cat nip yet? She will be worth the effort🐾💝🐾
@LadyLiLa777
Ай бұрын
Thanks, wait till you see the catnip videos. She's addicted
I'm not sure if this is an older video due to your christmas tree, but i hope you've still kept her. It seems like she was sadly probably abused in her previous home and thats why her instinct is to bite. It might take some months but once she learns to trust you she may let you pat her. I have a friend who adopted a rescue cat that wouldnt even let her pat her. But one year later now she loves pats and cuddles
@LadyLiLa777
Ай бұрын
Thanks - Yes I still have her. She's doing much better
Try using toys. When a kitty is biting, often it's just a misplaced association of wanting to play and not knowing that our hands are off limits. I've made huge strides bonding with kitties by using playtime to get all that energy out and rewarding em with a treat or two. The wand toys with string and feathers/fuzzy bees on the end are their favorites.
You seem nervous when you approach her and she perceives that. Cats can feel your energy, if you are on edge that puts them on edge too. Why don't you let her sniff your finger and see if she headbutts your hand and go from there. Also cats won't bite or scratch hard unless they are really threatened. You'll be able to tell if they are about to lash out by their body language and vocalisations. Light scratches and bites you get from playfighting very rarely get infected as long as you clean them promptly with antiseptic.
@LadyLiLa777
Ай бұрын
Thanks for the advice. I've never dealt with a rescue, or with a cat that scratches and bites. That was basically my fear. I will change my approach.
Yes! It's not about us, it's about them. Give her time. My Louise was semi-feral when I found her at 4 months old. She would have nothing to do with me for 10 years (yet people commented on how attached she was to me). About 3 years ago, after her best friend, Garfield, my male kitty, passed away, she finally started sleeping next to my head in bed and gradually allowed me to pet her. Today, she is inseparable. She's fourteen. Try using a long feather to pet her. Do you know about the energy centers in the body? I feel her heart and throat centers are blocked. Would you happen to know anything about her past? I work with animals.
@LadyLiLa777
Ай бұрын
She was seized from a hoarding situation. I will make a video about the info the SPCA gave me soon.
@dianadelmontecompassionfor7641
Ай бұрын
@@LadyLiLa777 Ah yes! I saw that part in one of your videos. Maybe this one. She'll be the greatest kitty once she works through that trauma and learns to trust. You already know that! God bless you for working with her. She's adorable! 🙏
She looks like Norwegian forest cat
Please don't bring her back to the shelter. Please give her some time. I understand your frustration but she came from a horrible situation, other people let her down. Thank you for helping her ❤.
@LadyLiLa777
Ай бұрын
For a brief moment I thought about it, but I won't. I'm already attached to her plus she's been through enough. Things are getting better.
@SR-cx6eo
Ай бұрын
@@LadyLiLa777That's good news! I bet very soon she will become very relaxed and love you as much as you love her ❤️.
Behave somewhat like you are ignoring the kitty, then she will get interested because of natural cat's curiosity. A lot of times when I encountered a street cat and wanted to pet it and it just didn't want to be petted, i sat next to the cat and then it was coming into my lap
@LadyLiLa777
Ай бұрын
That actually works. I've been too much after her. I decided to let her be
I rescue animals and most are cats and they all have different personalities. They chose you not you them. She'll adjust in time. I have some that was born into the home and they don't like the cuddling thing still or being held but they'll come lay beside me on their terms.
@LadyLiLa777
Ай бұрын
Lila is definitely not a lap cat... I don't think she'll ever be, but it's fine with me.
just give her time
Consider getting another cat. It maybe helps to become more friendly...
Normal cat need 2 or 3 years to get use to human i have 10 cats... so stray cat need more time.. First dont try pet her at all.. just make her get used to ur hands by only putting treats in front of her ir food.. Then go... she might one day come to sit not far.. Dont rush to touch her its a test just keep calm and one day she will climb on ur lap or lay by ur side... Let her get used to ur smell put old t-shirts here and there if she sleeps on ur landry then she in process to trust you.. Shes beautiful cat its her caractère good luck
@LadyLiLa777
Ай бұрын
I don't think she'll ever be a lap cat, but it's fine with me. I've learn to accept her as she is.
Rescue cat? I thought you had her since she was a kitten.
@LadyLiLa777
Ай бұрын
I adopted her from the Montreal SPCA Oct 17 2023. These are the videos I made from the 2nd day I brought her home. My other cats which have passed away were brought up from kittens except for two who I fostered for a friend) Hope that clears that up.
She looked pretty friendly like she was saying, “Hi, what’s up, Ma?”…And didn’t I hear her purring when you approached her?
@LadyLiLa777
Ай бұрын
Yes, but she is unpredictable. One minute she is purring and the next she wants to scratch your eye out. Her past of neglect and possible abuse (according to the SPCA) is maybe why she is weary of human. She positively hissed and growled at my friend ..haha. that was funny
@Daisnap
Ай бұрын
@@LadyLiLa777 Sounds like she found a good mama who is extremely patient, and is willing to go the long haul for her ultimate healing and ability to receive and give love. Another good sign to me is that she has stationed herself on the couch. True, her back is turned to you! But she's not under a table or in a far away corner. I think trust is slowly building. When you approach lightly, try a couple of pets, and then withdraw, respecting her boundaries, I think that helps. Slow but sure. Thank you for your patience and your commitment to this dear, traumatized soul who doesn't seem to know what love is. But will learn in time, God willing, thanks to you.
@LadyLiLa777
Ай бұрын
@@Daisnap She hid 3 days in my storage room between the wall and hot water tank. Thank God she's out of there now.
@Daisnap
Ай бұрын
@@LadyLiLa777 Ha! Oh dear, the poor thing. Cats go through so much sometimes. Glad she eventually emerged from that squeezed-in space and is more available now. It's so gradual with her. But every time you earn her trust a tiny bit more, it's a small victory, even if those happy moments don't occur for days at a time. I imagine it's like watching a flower bloom in extra-slow motion! Makes progress all the sweeter.
@LadyLiLa777
Ай бұрын
@@Daisnap Slow progress every day. However, I don't think she'll ever be a lap cat.🥲
She dont trust you yet.
@iliadiliad6028
Ай бұрын
It takes time. 😊
similar to Barbara's story - kzread.info/dash/bejne/ep2jq8WAY9iTZbQ.html
Please give her time. Try treats and pets. Give her a treat and try to pet her when you giver her the treat. This way she will associate good things with pets.
You're pushing her too much and she knows it. I'll back off and let her get used to you.
@LadyLiLa777
Ай бұрын
You are absolutely correct
Good for you and good for her! Get some toys that don't involve direct contact, get some gloves that she can't bite through and try petting her with those. Look up and introduce other feral and aggressive cat training techniques and, if you have to, get some professional help. Good luck!