I wish someone would’ve done this with me. I went through years of school with selective mutism. Never talked at school to anyone. Still struggling with social anxiety. I have actually never met anyone with selective mutism... my therapist offered me to meet one but of course at the time I was too scared. Hearing someone else’s story is really awesome. I always felt like a weirdo, like I’m alone in this world with my kind of problems. No one really understood at school why I didn’t talk. I became like the invisible kid. Which was a relief I guess because people got used to me not talking and they stopped trying to get me to talk. So it would get me out of those situations I was afraid of. I never had any friends other than my younger sister. I still have trouble making new friends and talking to strangers.

@jonathankohlmeier

3 жыл бұрын

Thanks for sharing this Linea. Prior to these types of talks I had actually never met anyone with SM either. It is still sometimes hard to think that other people can understand, but I know that is something I am going to deal with forever. It's never too late to work on overcoming anxiety! It is something I also deal with everyday, but I try my best to not let it interfere. It is a lot of work but I promise it is worth it in the end.

It’s very painful when kids are misunderstood and are assumed to be defiant when in fact they are extremely anxious and their mind and body freezes in fear.

@jonathankohlmeier

2 жыл бұрын

Thank you for your comment! I think that is very true and unfortunately it is the case for many kids out there. That's exactly why SMA is trying to increase awareness of SM so this misunderstanding will happen less and less. I definitely see a big difference in people's knowledge of SM compared to when I was a kid to now, so hopefully it will get even better in the future!

I’m a 41 year old with selective mutism. I can talk on KZread but not to family and friends!

i’ve noticed that selective mutism is usually recognised during childhood and it’s said that early intervention is crucial. i guess my sm was pretty mild. i was kind of forgotten in school, basically invisible. the teachers didn’t think anything of the fact i didn’t speak to them, probably due to the fact that i was very loud and hyperactive with my friends. there were only particular situations and people who i would be silent around, including some relatives. i truly believed that there was nothing wrong with me and it was just my personality, so i guess i gave off that vibe to others. it was only once i got to 6th grade that anxiety started to really set in and then through out high school it got progressively worse to where i am now. i dropped out of school due to severe anxiety. i was completely silent from grade 10 and onwards, i couldn’t keep up with work (i also have ADD), i didn’t talk to any teachers or anybody really. i withdrew from all of my friends and now i have none. i was bullied out of my last job because people just don’t understand and think i’m rude. i didn’t even understand it myself, i had no clue what selective mutism was until recently. i’m 19 years old right now my question is, do you think it’s possible for somebody like me to recover? at my age? my parents don’t believe me and actually ridicule me about it because they don’t see that side of me. and when they do i’m “just being shy”. every resource i’ve found in Australia are mainly aimed at parents and young children. i’m losing hope that i’ll ever be able to be myself and live a normal life.

@alexthejaewd

3 жыл бұрын

Its absolutely possible to recover. The prevalence of younger support is only because that is the most common kind of people who have it. You are not alone at your age however. Its never too late to work on stuff like this. I'd deff suggest seeking out the mute community, they may be able to help you out better. You dont need to necessarily seek out ONLY specialized professionals.

@selectivemutismassociation

3 жыл бұрын

Thank you so much for reaching out. I would be happy to forward some resources to you. Please reach out to me at membership@selectivemutism.org.

@krishk322

2 жыл бұрын

Im 23, and i only found out about this recently. Had it all my life, ive been working on it myself all these years and it’s basically un noticeable to people who meet me but i still struggle with it

@reiiiiisan

2 жыл бұрын

I relate to you as well. I've never been diagnosed, but everytime I'm at school or it's time to socialize, my voice cannot come out when I want it to. Throughout school, I've just been known as the 'quiet kid' or 'someone that never talks'. I'm 18 now, in university, and aside from my twin sister (who also has SM), I don't even know where to seek out help when most people haven't even heard of selective mutism. It hurts to be overlooked, constantly hindering my ownself and not even sure if there is anything that can be done. also thought this b/c most of the info I saw was directed towards parents and children. I hope we all find the help we need and the support we deserve. Take care, and know that you're not alone!

@alcoholic4792

2 жыл бұрын

19 year old here, i also still mildly struggle with sm, but trust me itll get better, ive been through it

This might help I'm not sure yet but my case is actually stronger than his so I've got work to do. For me, it started when I was 6 and I am now almost 19. I don't speak to anyone that isn't my mum, dad, brother, and my mum's parents. Not even close friends. If any of my parents are at my grandparents house(even if my grandparents aren't in the house) I won't talk. If I'm outside, I will only whisper quietly to one of my family members that I do talk to. If I have a friend round my house, I won't even whisper to them. When it started out when I was 6, I couldn't even talk to my parents in the same room. I have only come a little further from that however. None of the therapy sessions I've taken (including hypnotherapy) have actually made a difference. I even tried medication at 7 years old and all it did was made my grades in school go down and I was loosing concentration, and even got into more mischief. I'm now in my 3rd year of college ( I'm from the UK ) and trying to find a job is very difficult. I've tried to get benefits / personal independence payment and have been refused. I haven't been diagnosed with the following but I feel like I have developed: Depression Anxiety OCD Schizophrenia Psychosis And possibly a small bit of tourette's and dissociative identity disorder. I am by no means a doctor and only feel like I have these based on the information I have on them (which is a fair bit). I also cannot record my voice unless I know I'm the one recording and I know it will be deleted or never heard by anyone. Recording my voice also applies to not allowing even the ones I talk to to hear the recording. This means I have a case where I can't talk to anyone else by any means at all apart from text or written words. I so however mouth out words if I don't have a way to write what I want to say down. It has been a major struggle over the past almost 13 years with this condition and I hope for it to be solved quite soon.

I JUST today discovered that my son has selective mutism . . and he's 16. I just thought he was a quiet, shy kid. Then, I noticed that he would freeze when asked direct question that might put him in a bad light. Or, he would be unable to speak if the situation was too intense, and the words were stuck. I feel so bad! I thought that he was being disrespectful when he wouldn't answer, now I know he was feeling anxiety!

@selectivemutismassociation

3 жыл бұрын

Thank you so much for sharing your story. I'm so glad you found the webinar helpful. Please visit us at www.selectivemutism.org for more resources for parents. We also plan to add more resources for teens and young adults over the next year. We wish you and your son well.

@thetogo2962

3 жыл бұрын

When my confidence and self esteem is very bad, at an extreme low I freeze up with others but therapy has helped immensely even though it wasn't directed towards selective mutism but social anxiety in general.

@McHenryCruiser

2 жыл бұрын

I’m a 41 year old with selective mutism , I can only talk in KZread videos or streams but not in person.

@themoabof5111

2 жыл бұрын

It is fortunate that he has the diagnosis so that you can support him and get him the help he needs now. It’s really rough on people with SM as they are misunderstood, which is more typical or not. Your loving support and encouragement is paramount.

Thank you for representing us who experienced sm

@jonathankohlmeier

2 жыл бұрын

Thanks so much for your comment! :) I hope talks like these can help spread the word and show other people with SM that they are not alone.

Thank you so much for sharing this webinar. We were able to attend live with our teenage son. He has severe SM and listened attentively the entire time. There are *so many similarities* between him and Jonathan (we're also reading the book) that I'm sure he's making some connections. I'm hoping that by seeing Jonathan being able to learn to cope and work past SM, he'll feel less alone and more motivated to push himself to improve. Jonathan's story gives me hope and a glimpse into the life my son is unable to talk about. Thank you for enabling me to hear him live. It was truly a gift.

@selectivemutismassociation

3 жыл бұрын

Thank you so much for this wonderful comment. I'm so glad you found the webinar to be so helpful and that you connected on such a personal level. We have another webinar on teens with SM. I hope you can join us! Click below to register. attendee.gotowebinar.com/register/8583444584763848973

You are so brave and so amazing for sharing who you are. Thank you for your story and for shedding light and hope for so many others with sm and social anxiety.

@jonathankohlmeier

3 жыл бұрын

Thank you, Irene! I appreciate it.

It's really amazing that Jonathan had so many supports in place to help him get thru the difficult times. Although It's very inspirational, can there be a series on the struggles of dating with selective mutism with the feelings of shame and loniness that come along with not being able to express and communicate. It would be interesting to get the perspective of those with sm who don't necessarily have advocates, family and financial backing in place and how they manage and cope and stumble thru life with the difficulties of the disorder.

@selectivemutismassociation

3 жыл бұрын

Thank you very much for sharing your story and your perspective. In the coming year, SMA is planning to add more resources for teens and adults. We realize this is an area that people need more support in and we are working on those additions. Thank you very much for giving us this feedback and we wish you well.

@allanklay6051

3 жыл бұрын

@@selectivemutismassociation thank you for responding - it would be interesting to cover the relationship between selective mutism and Avoidant Personality disorder in adulthood as well. Also glad that this association is at the forefront of this debilitating disorder

Thank you so much for sharing your story. It means so much to us

@selectivemutismassociation

3 жыл бұрын

I'm glad that you enjoyed the webinar!

Very good video 🌌 thank you for spreading awareness on Selective Mutism . Everyone needs to have a voice ♡ I also make videos on mental health and Selective Mutism 💕

I made a video about my selective mutism for my chsnnal. It’s uploading now