😢 My Emotional Reaction to Ren X Chinchilla "How to be me"
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🎥 Welcome to my latest video where I react to Ren and chinchilla's powerful song "How to Be Me." As someone with personal experience with depression and suicide, this emotional song really resonated with me.
😭 The lyrics and melody hit me hard, and by the end of the song, I couldn't hold back my tears. I even got a little worried that I might get the lens of the camera wet!
👩👧 Reflecting on my own experiences, I shared how losing my mother at a young age affected me and how being a mother myself now has given me more insights into my own struggles with depression.
🧠 Through gaining more understanding of my illness, I've also gained more powerful tools to help me cope. I'm proud to say that I haven't been depressed for about a year now, which is worth celebrating, especially considering how tough winters can be in Norway.
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0:00 😢
0:07 Ren x Chinchilla "How to be me"
4:33 Getting so emotional 😢😢😢
4:57 I am not depressed...
7:55 He lost the fight
8:22 Despair, regret and sorrow
9:08 On Both Sides, Now. Suicide.
10:49 The big lie depression is telling us
11:18 I believed my daughter would be better off without me
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Transcript edited with ChatGTP for easier readability:
Hey guys, just wanted to take a moment to interrupt all the sadness and let you know that I am not depressed. I just get really emotional when I listen to beautiful songs like this and connect to my past feelings and experiences, and reflect upon them. This is not how I feel at all times of the day. If you know me, this video can be hard to watch, but I just wanted to reassure you that I am fine. I am really good in my life, and I believe that all these experiences, the pain and hurt that I have had, has enriched my life in some way. However, I understand that this is not true for everyone. I have had comments from people who suffer from pain, either physical, mental, emotional, or all of the above, and to say that pain is shaping us into diamonds might seem a bit unfair because it's not the same for everyone.
Being on the other side of all the hurt and pain gives me the opportunity to be empathic, grateful for what I have now, and to know myself more. If you're still watching, I hope you enjoy the rest of the video. It's going to continue like this, and I'll tell you about my past experiences with depression, suicide, and how my depression played out as a mom.
The song in the video hit me really hard, especially knowing that they were performing it on the bridge where his friend lost the fight, and it's devastating. I have been on both sides of the fence. I have never been suicidal, but as a kid growing up with death close to my family, I have contemplated death a lot.
My mom died when I was six years old, and when she did die, it was due to depression. However, I don't want to say that she committed suicide because that insinuates that it was something she was willingly and purposefully doing while suffering from depression that was killing her. Depression can make one feel intense pain, and that alone can probably kill a person. The pain and heartbreak of knowing that you're hurting people can be unbearable.
When I was at my most depressed, my last period, I believed that my daughter would do better without me. I was at a point where I was imagining that I needed to convince myself and the world that I was so sick that I needed to be institutionalized. However, my daughter told me that she remembered when I told her that it would be better if I was gone, and it was painful for her to think about because that's not true. Even when I'm sad, she still wants me to be here.
My daughter is a wise little soul. When she was three years old, I had a breakdown in the living room, but I promised myself and my family that I wouldn't hide and lock myself away. I remember her coming to me and telling me that I wasn't very good at loving myself at that moment, and that's the essence of depression.
I think it's great that we can be more open and vulnerable, and music like the one that Ran and Chinchilla Hair are performing with so much feeling allows us to open up and really feel the emotions. This performance moves me a lot, especially Ren's face, which looks like a person in deep sorrow and loss.
Song by @RenMakesMusic and @chinchilla_music
• Ren X Chinchilla - How...
Music from #Uppbeat:
uppbeat.io/t/peter-cavallo/br...
uppbeat.io/t/night-drift/lilac
uppbeat.io/t/peter-cavallo/yo...
uppbeat.io/t/brock-hewitt-sto...
uppbeat.io/t/waterway-music/s...
uppbeat.io/t/cory-alstad/the-...
uppbeat.io/t/rick-gallagher/vale
uppbeat.io/t/anna-yarbrough/i...
#emotionalreaction
#selfreflection
#mentalhealth
Пікірлер: 63
As someone with a strong empathic personality, I connect deeply with Ren’s music. I’m so appreciative of his gift and his message. And the harmonies with Chinchilla are stunning! “Pain is shaping us into diamonds”💎 Yes! But regret, guilt, and shame can be dangerous if those feelings are allowed to take root and overshadow the many gifts we have been given. I’m glad you were able to find a way out and a path towards love for yourself and your family.
@LeneLarsenNorway
Жыл бұрын
Totally! Thank you for sharing your thoughts, Elizabeth! You are right, those feelings can cause a lot of damage! Thank you for your kind words! ❤❤
In my 61 years on this Earth, I have never felt a duet/song that moved me as much as this. Thank you. Peace and be well.
@LeneLarsenNorway
Жыл бұрын
That is very beautiful. I am very happy to read that you found a song that moved you so much, because it is really a magical feeling to be so connected to another beings art and output! Empathy
This song hits very very hard. I've lost literally 90 percent of my senior class to suicide or drug overdose, which at 39 years old is insane to say. Rens music is what this world needs right now and every generation to come
@LeneLarsenNorway
Жыл бұрын
Oh, John. That is insane and very, very sad! I completely agree! I am sure there are many other artists with the right messages, but they are not very easy to find always. Would you know of some? :)
@johnsearing9736
Жыл бұрын
Sleep token is really the only other band/artist that's caught my attention to the level of Ren.
@jeffstumpf9129
Жыл бұрын
Angelina Jordan has that in spades. But, she conveys so well what she’s yet to experience. Ren has been through hell and sings about it. Still, give Angelina a listen. She is great, also.
Everything Ren does is either fun, sad, outrageous, crazy, deep with meaning, or educational. I have and will continue listening and watching Ren, regardless of the song. He is just so talented. His singing, musical talent with many instruments, acting, narrating and performing is just so perfect. Ren is an enigma, a beautiful enigma with many moods and emotions that can take us on a very exciting roller coaster, either sad or happy, but still it's a thrilling ride. I feel your tears. I've been there several times, empathy is a deep understanding and feeling that a lot of people do not have, yet more have it than we realize but they won't say. I really don't want to see you crying again, but you should also listen to his "Dominoes" it's also very sad. It's a lyric piece only in words on a screen.
So this is where we are at!!! It’s hard to look forward and hope to see the future, but all we see is obstacles. I honestly never thought I’d see you this raw!, this took guts, but then again, self confession is a way forward but then we only feel guilt about what we have said. In 2004 my ex-wife drink drove and killed our 4 year old daughter in the car crash. I didn’t know how to go on but life did. Life doesn’t have a script, but we do our best and follow the herd. Keep being you and things will be okay. ✌🏻❤️positivity
@LeneLarsenNorway
Жыл бұрын
This is utterly devastating. It's inconceivable to envision a world where my precious little girl is ripped away from my arms. The despair that would cloud my heart, and the fury directed at myself and the driver responsible for the tragic incident, is unimaginable. The courage required to tread on and perhaps, over time, unearth some tranquility and possible forgiveness... it's an endurance test I shudder to consider. Like you pointed out, the notion of moving forward seems impossible. You must've summoned an indomitable strength to navigate towards a space where you can breathe again, where life isn't as suffocating, and where a glimmer of positivity manages to pierce through the gloom. Your resilience is nothing short of remarkable. 🙏 Love to you. Thank you for sharing with us.
Crying with you… also not depressed, but this song (and Chalk Outlines) both hit me somewhere most don’t. Missing my only sister, from whom I was distanced when she died… It’s good to let it out from time to time!!
This was the first time I've seen a reaction of yours, I just discovered your channel, it was a beautiful reaction. I'm drawn to reactors that get emotional at songs like these, not that I want to see anyone feel sadness or conjure up a dark memory, I just feel that others who get emotional due to a song, seeing a reactor, someone they don't know, having the same reaction, regardless of the reason, brings us together as humans, something we need desperately in these times. I'm not one to be an old curmudgeon and bash fancy technology that I don't understand. The internet, and streaming have given our species tremendous gifts, the ability for a surgeon to do a highly specialized surgery on a child in Africa from Boston, the ability to talk to loved ones who are leaving this world, and see their face, when you can't be with them during a pandemic, and all sorts of things we can't imagine yet. But as are most things in life, and which Ren reminds us of in "Hi Ren", there is a balance inherently built into our existence, and with light must come darkness. This new technology has also come at a cost, a cost of losing a little bit of our humanity, handing it willingly over to the depths of the internet. My brief cryptic interlude was to put into perspective something as simple as seeing another person, another human, you've never met, being brought to such an emotion that you yourself were brought to, by nothing more than waves of electromagnetic energy moving through the air and hitting our eardrums, and our brains interpreting those waves a certain way. I believe music is truly a universal language, and is the universes way of telling us we all belong and are one it's children. I'm not sure why your reaction brought out such a deep existential comment on my part, but I thought of all that (without even being stoned) while watching your beautiful reaction. I believe in coincidences, but not very often, plus I thought you might enjoy a rambling thought from an aging dreamer who's slowly losing faith in humanity. Cheers!
@LeneLarsenNorway
Жыл бұрын
Hey! Thank you for your kind words! your message really touched me ! It really is amazing how music can bring us together as humans, regardless of our differences. How a song like "How to be me" can evoke such strong emotions and connect us in such a profound way, is just... mind blowing! A balance between using technology to connect with others and experiencing real-life interactions is really important to be aware of and try our best to live by. I try my best! Thanks for watching my video and for sharing your insights. I appreciate it a lot and I am looking forward to hear from you again! Cheers! -Lene
Your personal reaction is awesome. You are a true RENegade 💪
@LeneLarsenNorway
Жыл бұрын
Thank you, lovely!
Your story is very sad but your daughter seems to be a really amazing person regardless her age. And I can ensure she needs you in her life as long as possible. Take care, sköt om dig❤❤
These two individually are phenomenal artists with phenomenal voices but when they join forces, it’s out of this world can’t explain how the world needs music like this
@LeneLarsenNorway
Жыл бұрын
Absolutely agree, Michael! I am stunned. It is like magic. An emotional brew of magic soup! Do you know of other artists or songs that has similar potential in your opinion?
@Michaeldanson
Жыл бұрын
@@LeneLarsenNorway no , I honestly can’t think , other songs maybe but no artist to just mix genres and emotions like these
Now that is a real brave reaction. Sharing your story, open up to us. All the love to you and your daughter.
To be more open, my heart needs to be free of stereotypes which harm my seeing the very real human beings in front of me. I can't be the only person from another part of the world - in my case the USA - who grew up believing the stereotype of Scandinavians as emotionally cool and distant. Your tears melted that stereotype out of existence. Thank you so much...
I also get emotional listening to things that bring back memories of my past. Just know that you are not alone. It gives me strength to know that there are others struggling and making it.
I watched this after Chalk Outlines , in one night, and I cried for literally hours. I stayed downstairs on the sofa because the tears were shudders. This is such an incredible piece because of the connection and trust between them feels palpable. Their voices blend and weave around one another like fog or swirling smoke. Now I am now able to watch both of these videos and see the beauty that is above the pain. When he says “there are bodies in the floors and they breathe so loudly “ I think of Poe’s Telltale Heart and survivors guilt. Depression is emotional cancer; it is a lonely way to live and a slow way to die. It is a word that is used too flippantly; it isn’t a choice that only needs a good distraction. I’m highly empathetic and have to keep that in check. I don’t know if you are familiar with the artist LP but she is another one that came into my life, seemingly out of nowhere, and just rattled TF out of it, in the best way. There are many songs to recommend but tomorrow/ today a new single is dropping called “ GOLDEN”. “ We’re not broken, we are Golden…”
Absolutely phenomenal.
@LeneLarsenNorway
Жыл бұрын
I love this song too. Like you say: absolutely phenomenal! Thanks for leaving evidence of your visit! ;)
Beautiful sharing; perhaps even more poignant than the video itself. Your daughter sounds beautiful and a gem; I learned that the very best way to communicate with a child is to get down on your knees or even elbows to look them in the eyes. When you do this at their level you remember how to be childlike yourself. Love and prayers 🙏🏻🇺🇸🇬🇧✨💖🌹💐🥰
@LeneLarsenNorway
Жыл бұрын
Thank you for a very heart warming message. I am grateful I can share my experiences and feelings so that it evokes thought and feeling in others as well. My daughter truly is a gem. Now she is almost seven and she is a incredibly sensitive, thoughtful, patient, reasonable, caring and intelligent young lady. I'd like to take credit for all of that, but I long ago understood people come into this world with certain traits that they'll develop almost no matter their circumstance. She really is a gift, and she helps me also become a better person and I am so grateful and proud to be her mom! What you say about getting down to their level is so important. And also treat them as smaller individuals that deserve the same respect as any other human being! Love to you, my friend. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me!
thank you for reacting to this beautiful song am sending you a big hug ❤❤❤
@LeneLarsenNorway
Жыл бұрын
Aw, thank you so much! 🥰 Your kind words mean a lot to me. I truly appreciate your presence and support. It's wonderful to have you here, Peter!
Bless you, for allowing yourself to let it in so that it could escape and heal. I lost my first and last born sons, something many of us have in common. Pray for Ren's friend who decided to end his pain. So many angels just can't stand to remain here and they have much in common. My lost boys were my star children who could not understand all the hatred in the world. I call myself a ghost because I feel that is what remains of me.
As soon as i wipe my tears away......
Thank you for being so open & authentic in sharing your emotions & insights. Wishing you a wonderful day!
@LeneLarsenNorway
Жыл бұрын
🙏 Thank you for leaving your comment, Jason. It means a lot to me! 😊💬 I'm putting in the effort to learn and create great content, so receiving feedback like yours is truly appreciated. 🎉✨ I hope you have a fantastic day, and I'm eagerly looking forward to hearing from you again! 🌟📩 ❤️ Lene
Wanted to give you hugs when you cried lovely reaction
@LeneLarsenNorway
Жыл бұрын
🙏 Thank you, Andrew. It means a lot to me! 😊💬 I'm putting in the effort to learn and create great content, so receiving feedback like yours is truly appreciated. 🎉✨ I hope you have a fantastic day, and I'm eagerly looking forward to hearing from you again! 🌟📩 ❤️ Lene
@andrewparker9569
Жыл бұрын
@@LeneLarsenNorway ❤❤❤❤
I want to thank you for your beautifully honest and raw emotional reaction moved me in a big way ....bless your heart ❤
@LeneLarsenNorway
Жыл бұрын
Thank you for that! I am grateful to have the opportunity! And it is moving for me as well to read that it resonate with you! Love to you
This song is so emotional and beautiful. I cry all the time when I watch it. It hits hard. Their voices together is the most touching. Thank you, Ren, for your amazing talent and giving so much of yourself to the world that needs your voice to heal.
So so glad that you have found a happier path and I wish you and your family all the best for the future.
@LeneLarsenNorway
Жыл бұрын
Thank you so much, Dom. We are definetely on a good path and a good place now, and has been for over a year. It has been amazing discovering that "I do not have to" become sick/depressed during the winter. It gives me a great hope for the future and opens so many doors!
I dont know how I missed this reaction until now ..I cannot stop crying...thank you for opening up in this reaction ...I like how you made the distinction between being depressed and being sad ...I made some painful choices with my kids when I was depressed that I am still trying to heal from to this day and hearing your story is helping me see some of it differently .. I cannot tell you how thankful I am that you shared your story. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I loved the poem, it was beautiful. I cant write more..I have got to process this Peace
Ren the welsh bard of wales the country of music poetry and mythology ❤
❤️
❤️🙏🏼❤️
This is a very powerful song 🙏🏻 for sharing Lene.🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
@LeneLarsenNorway
Жыл бұрын
Thank you for being here Ian and always showing me support!
Your a very strong woman we all have our moments some worse than others,you mention your daughter several times it shows your pure love for her,she is so lucky to have a mum as you, keep smiling and enjoy your life with your daughter xxx
@LeneLarsenNorway
Жыл бұрын
Oh, Phil. Such beautiful words. Thank you! I am enjoying it so much, and we are very lucky, both of us, to be in each others life. Yesterday, actually, when she woke up... first thing she said was " Mom, I won the mommy-lottery when I was going to become a human" !!!! I mean... wow.
@philbrown4431
Жыл бұрын
Hi, sorry for not replying my dad has been in hospital,so been busy, how are you and your daughter,I think what she said to you was what you needed to hear, lovely words from her, I will say goodnight to you both and away safe xx
These two are beautiful artists sharing what a lot of us feel. Much love to everyone. Life is tough. Be kind to yourself. U are not alone xx
@murtaghj
Жыл бұрын
I got to that point last year, forgetting to know how to be me. But thank goodness I'm back xx Much love people x
Nice wholesome empathetic sweet lady...God Bless You
@LeneLarsenNorway
Жыл бұрын
🙏 Thank you, Sandy! It means a lot to me! 😊💬 I'm putting in the effort to learn and create great content, so receiving feedback like yours is truly appreciated. 🎉✨ I hope you have a fantastic day, and I'm eagerly looking forward to hearing from you again! 🌟📩 ❤️ Lene
Yes,me to!❤😢
Я плакала... Hab geweint...
Big hugs❤😢
❤❤❤😢❤❤
@LeneLarsenNorway
Жыл бұрын
❤❤❤
You fine love, I feel the same.
I'm assuming you know the backstory.❤ Be safe.
There is a gofund started for support medical treatment.