is it just me or are her eyes mesmerising

@letsgopartyturnup3382

5 жыл бұрын

Ikr

@sashalessa2023

5 жыл бұрын

and her smile omg

@gabiocampos

5 жыл бұрын

She is mesmerising *

@ginamarie6462

5 жыл бұрын

They’re so gorgeous!

@anitamaxhuni8994

5 жыл бұрын

Zoe S what does mesmerising mean

You're so insanely pretty wow. I'm currently relapsing really hard and this gave me a hard reality check and a sprinkle of hope that I may some day manage to start recovery again.

@XNancyxBoyX

5 жыл бұрын

I am so so sorry to hear that... How are you feeling now? If you want, I'm here to talk to you. (Are you Belgian or Dutch by any chance? Your last name would suggest it. :) ) Please try to be strong!

@Ghost__Reveries

5 жыл бұрын

Annelies van Overbeek hzuzsdzuauddđstfsdšdsdđsufddtddffitfshstU

@minyoongisgummysmilehurtsm3593

5 жыл бұрын

You can do it. I believe in you, you can do it.

@sashaedmunds2008

5 жыл бұрын

Annelies van Overbeek keep going gurl xx

@sebs796

5 жыл бұрын

you are going to get better sweetheart!God bless you and your life🙏❤

My mum didn't let me or my sister on a scale by ourselves. We didn't have one until we got much older like 25 or so. I think this helped us quite a lot.

@brookiecookie6586

5 жыл бұрын

This interests me a lot, by chance what country did you grow up in?

@lorinaolli2545

5 жыл бұрын

Quallentina Knievel idk I feel like the idea of shielding kids this much especially from simple things like their own weight is a bad idea.

@blueberrymomo4497

5 жыл бұрын

We didn't have a scale at home too. I'm 19 now and I've been living alone for three years now and only week ago I got myself one in secret :D gotta stop that curiosity how much I weigh, lol

@wetointment2041

4 жыл бұрын

Same. I have to do blind weigh ins at the doctor, don't have a scale at home and it helps me so so much.

@jbyrd9118

4 жыл бұрын

I wish I had grown up that way. My mom doesn't realize the how her relationship with her weight has affected me.

Your mother sounds amazing x

@sag5527

5 жыл бұрын

Hannah Wright mother of the year no world

This is literally one of the least triggering stories I've ever seen! I watch you a ton but I always avoided this video because I thought it would trigger me, but it's like your motivating me. Thank you!

Ik this sounds silly but you saying "life had become so small" is the most relatable thing i have ever heard. When mental illness becomes so bad it just becomes your whole entire life and just agh. Also i love your channel because its all about challenging your self to get better ♡

Meanwhile I’m a binge eater, but you’re still inspiring me to get in control of my eating.

@souplover947

5 жыл бұрын

what are you doing for your binge eating?

@appaappa9808

5 жыл бұрын

souplover94 honestly I’m learning self control. It takes awhile but now I can’t over eat like I use to. My body got use to me eating regular sized meals.

@ellie5995

4 жыл бұрын

HeresCoco29 do you have any tips? I’m having the same problem

@randi0068

4 жыл бұрын

@@ellie5995 Sadly it seems like people with binge eating disorder are left behind, when it comes to treatment. When you weigh 40kg and starve yourself, everyone is worried and you get help. If you're overweight and starve yourself down to a normal weight, there's no actual problem, it seems. And if you're overweight and binge hard and often, the most normal reaction is your doctor telling you that you REALLY NEED TO LOSE weight - but don't help with anything. And honestly, people treat you like s###, when you're dealing with BED.

@antoniszakakis5560

4 жыл бұрын

@@appaappa9808 the self control in food will make things worse.it will not help you with binge eating disorder

As a thirteen year old with anorexia listening to your story made me breath down in tears. I’m at a new school now and I haven’t told anyone about my disorder. People who don’t understand are likely to judge. I’ve learned that in the past, I’d rather struggle alone than alone with people judging me at the same time. When I’d try to overcome my symptoms thy would say that I was lying and there was no way I would eat a cupcake if I was anorexic. They would tell me to prove it. (They started believing me only after I passed out in class). They would tell me to just eat more. They would even say that I was beautiful and that it was worth it to be thin. I’m glad that none of my new friends know because then people won’t judge everything you eat, how much I weigh, or treat me like a freak. Recovery can’t happen under those circumstances. For now, my struggle is between my doctor, me, and my family.

@camgaa

5 жыл бұрын

Rebecca Tang hey man, I understand what you’re going through. If you haven’t already, please get help, whether it be therapy or a treatment center. Life is so much better when you can just enjoy it and not worry about what you’re eating and how much you weigh. It’s tough but it’s worth it. I believe in you ❤️

@rebeccatang9383

5 жыл бұрын

The youtuber thank you so much for your comment. It made my day. I see a therapist and a nutritionist every week, I can’t imagine life without them. It’s torture to undergo recovery but I want to go back to life before my disorder. 😁

@nonofeivelbaembie

5 жыл бұрын

Keep going rebecca! Go get your old life back! You can do this! And always remember: You are NOT a freak, you are a wonderful young woman, you might struggle but there are no heros without fights. Get back up again, you are worth it!

@sophiakonstantinidou688

4 жыл бұрын

You dont have to tell it to anyone. No matter the illness if you are fragile. The first person who judges you is yourself. Evereyone has his or her battles. And most definately we have no idea about it. Keep going and trust your doctor.

@nexiondxt1230

3 жыл бұрын

I think I have an eating disorder but can't talk about it to anyone. I never eat and I'm so depressed and cold. I just don't know what to do. Everything is about calories and control. I hate it.

Completely unrelated note, but when she said "New York" like an American I jumped a little bit lol

My sons ed brought me here. He's 10 and starving himself daily. It hurts and I'm not sure where to begin with his journey😔

@doridimitrov6821

4 жыл бұрын

Ms.caramel Delight87 i’m so sorry you have to deal with something like this. Having a family member that goes through these type of things and feeling like you could not do anything is the worst thing ever. I would suggest to start doing fun programs with him which involves a nice meal and maybe some ice cream while seeing nice places. And maybe try to talk. I know it’s hard because people with eating disorders think they are fine, but they listen as well. And don’t be mad, instead, be understanding and try to let them know that you’re just worried. I know a 10 years old will not get it yet, but you can try to ‘teach’ them that food is nice, and fun and it helps you to do amazing things with your body. I hope you guys will be okay ❤️

@loch00018

3 жыл бұрын

i hope he's doing better now. sending love

@AveryLakota

3 ай бұрын

How is it possible for a man to have anorexia.... Men can be handsome even with a dad bod 😨

thats so intense that your family took you to court, I guess that shows how much they really love you though. I understand the issue with living in NYC with an ED. I am currently at University in NYC with an eating disorder and the city really can mess with your head if you aren't prepared for it

@twincherry4958

5 жыл бұрын

That was the best thing they could've done!

@micksdowd

4 жыл бұрын

Sarah Lassiter I know you left this comment a year ago, but I hope you’re on your way to recovery 💕

@sugarplum222

4 жыл бұрын

could you elaborate please? with the ny thing cause i’ve never lived in a big city so i’m kinda lost haha:0

You never mentioned living in the UK but you clearly have a British affect accent ?

@its_msk

5 жыл бұрын

Rebecca Leung makes sense thanks

@jordanlevitt1638

5 жыл бұрын

Apart from "New YoRk" haha

@letsgopartyturnup3382

5 жыл бұрын

SAME OMG I WAS THINKING ABOUT THAT ALL THE TIMR

@zoekaley1312

5 жыл бұрын

Dawny K Hong Kong was ruled by Britain for a very long time and one of their national languages is English so that could maybe explain it or maybe her parents are from the U.K.?

@letsgopartyturnup3382

5 жыл бұрын

Zoë Kaley thts what i needed to know.

Rebecca, Thank you for posting this video. As a person with an eating disorder myself, I feel a deep connection to what you have shared today. It takes a lot of bravery to come to terms with this condition. I look forward to joining you on your path to recovery, as it will be guidance/motivation for me personally. Thank you.

You're nailing it right now.

you truly are such an amazing human being... my younger cousin got diagnosed with anorexia a few months ago, and was admitted into hospital, 2kgs away from organ failure. she's only 17, but to see someone like you who is so unbelievably strong, to have gone through so much pain and struggle and to still be able to be happy and be okay with food, gives me hope that she will get better too. I hope your future holds so much happiness and a ton of delicious food :)

I feel honored to have had the personal privilege of being able to meet Rebecca in person when she came back to OPC in Miami while I am in treatment myself. She took time out of her vacation to come and speak to us about her story and her journey to recovery. I’m so happy that we got to meet and am loving her videos. I see her as a great role model to look up to and learn from. Thanks for sharing lady and again it was great meeting you. You R-O-C-K! Keep doing what you do too, so many are benefitting from your efforts. 🤗🏄‍♀️💃🏼❤️

It's really great that you can share your story with others. I admire your bravery as I know how difficult it is to release a video like this. I hope you continue to recover and I wish you all the best for your future. P.s Your dog is so cute :)

As somebody who has been suffering with an ED for over 15 years thank you so much for making this video. Not many people discuss what it's like to deal with the disorder as a young child. I'm so grateful for you as I'm sure many others are💖💕💖💕

You’re very brave and so strong. I appreciate you putting this online and making yourself vulnerable to the world. People like me, need to hear more from people like you. So thank you.

I love how brave you are to share your story. I can relate to your story so much and I have learned that when other people and when life is trying to control you, your only way to cope is to control the way you treat your body. Your body is the only thing in life you have absolute control over and when life seems to take over certain aspects, your ability to change yourself becomes a way to fight those other stressors. We are in this together!

I just wanted to say thank you... I'm currently a bit lost in all of this, but watching you confront such terrifying (to me) things head on and knowing that you're coming from having struggled this hard (harder than I feel I've ever struggled) gives me some hope that maybe, one day, it all won't be so difficult.

I just wanted to say thank you for making this video without putting a bunch of really graphic photos or mentioning numbers, etc. I find that a lot of videos on KZread about ED recovery are so focused on the weight lost, how thin they got, etc. and that can be so so triggering (for me anyway) so I really appreciate that here you talked more about how you felt and the turning points where you fought for recovery, and the mental anguish that it caused you. thank you!!!

Her accent is so nice

i'm so glad i found your channel. My eating disorder thankfully never reached the extreme level that you unfortunately got to, but I know what it's like to have bad days and to not be able to turn off the calculator in your head. There are some days where I feel like I can't win whatever I do- My weight reached a point where it had definite effects on my health, but never life-threatening and sometimes even THAT feels like a failure. Like I didn't push hard enough or gave up too quickly. I still get paranoid when anybody comments on my body like "you look so slim!"; it used to be to the extent that I used to think my mum was going around telling people to say that to get me to relax or something! I HAD to go to the gym any day that I didn't have dance, and if I didn't then I would just beat myself up all day. Thankyou for helping to inspire me to keep pushing through; I have a feeling that you may just be my go-to youtuber for when I'm having bad days xxx

The way you share your story with raw vulnerability and sincere demeanor. This is the second video I have seen from your channel and I am so proud you, a complete stranger. What you have gone through and how you hold yourself now with such grace and poise. You are an inspirational to me. Thank you for sharing your story.

I can’t bare the thought of standing on a scale, I won’t do that anymore, recovery is a long journey but I’m trying my best and slowly getting better. Thanks for being such an inspiration to so many of us ❤️

Your a true role model. Being able to talk about it is something I admire because you motivate people to fight their battle and become better and, ofcourse, happy. I’m really, really happy that I found your chanel because I feel like I’m not alone on my own journey, so thank you for upploading and being that wonderful, positive person that I believe you are because it is really helpful :)

I don't really restrict my food but i do have a goal weight (not a crazy one) that i'm really fixed on. Another thing that i've noticed that i think it's weird its the fact that sometimes i look at myself in the mirror and all's fine, i look away for a second and when i look back at myself all of a sudden i look hudge and then i start to regret eating the last unhealthy thing that i ate. I'm not really sure what's going on help! Ps i don't think i'm particularly fat and on a good day i do feel fine about my body but my attitude always changes when i weigh myself I'm sorry if this question burdened you in any kind of way

@sineadryan4424

5 жыл бұрын

I think that's called body dysmorphia and I get that sometimes. Also I think a reason for it is because when you look at something and you're specifically looking out for something, that's all you see ie the fat. So if you take a step back and think 'if I saw someone else with this body, what would I think? Would I be envious of what a great physique they have?'. For example sometimes if you look on the ground, you don't see much but then if you look more closely and look out specifically for the ants, they're suddenly everywhere. I hope that makes sense 😂

@siobhanroyle188

5 жыл бұрын

Keep an eye on that because eating disorders hit you out of no where, and they escalate very quickly so just try to get help as early as possible

@SallyWaters24

5 жыл бұрын

It does definitely sound like you're at least in the vulnerable range for getting an eating disorder and it's really good that you recognise the invasive thoughts/feelings as weird and not true reality. I'd get help now if possible before it goes any further, maybe just by talking to someone about it? I know it'll be awkward but think of it as 'coming out' as a person who is at risk of developing an eating disorder (obvs only to someone you trust). I'm not an expert but I know disorders like this thrive in shame and the only cure to shame is to take the risk of being vulnerable and sharing your darkest secrets with others.

@emiliaaxelsson4504

5 жыл бұрын

Ema • the only true way of knowing that somenting is wrong is to feel if the body checking, weight, food if all that takes to much time of your day or maybe just takes more time than it should take, compare to a ”typical” person without an ed. If you find that it does then you should speak with someone about your thoughts!

@alexandramendoza4156

5 жыл бұрын

I'm literally going through the exact same think. I wanna lose like 10 pounds . I actually want to get fittier. But I do not think that I am fat , I think that I am fine. But I think that I could do better.

You've certainly come pretty damn far! Funny thing is I've been inside a psych ward (Kowloon Hospital Psychiatric Observation Unit) in Hong Kong and it was all an adventure for me until they diagnosed me with bipolar 2 and it turns out I was in a hypomanic episode... would not personally recommend if it can be helped. Anyway, super heartwarming to hear your motivations and milestones towards fighting/improving out of ED as it's getting clearer and easier for ya! Keep doing you!

I'm so glad that I live in Germany.... Because here we have very good Hospitals that are specialised on ED's

@StimmungundSchmutz

4 жыл бұрын

We do ? Could you recommend one to me because our psychiatric hospital isn't that good ?

@frida328

4 жыл бұрын

In Bonn ist ein sehr gute Klinik, die Donnerstag Nachmittags sogar Beratung anbietet. DOrt ist leider nur Inpatient-Therapie möglich und halt die Nachbehandlung denke ich Ich selbst war noch nicht da

Thank you for this video. It made me realize that I had that problem at a stage in my life. I have recovered and just want to say that Im happy and proud of you and you will get better, taking one day at a time. I realized that its better to be healthy than skinny. As we only have one body and one life. Your story is precious and I am glad you tell your story as it can help others xxx

Thank you - I'm in recovery for my anorexia and hell, it's difficult. I'm still in denial about plenty of things but your videos help me to think about challenging my eating disorder and doing what I can every day. I'm nowhere near there yet, but you help me to feel more confident and optimistic about it ❤️

I don’t mean this to offend in anyway but this genuinely helped me gain perspective on my eating disorder. I get so frustrated with just the fact I have therapy every week for a few years but I never understood just how lucky I’ve had it in the fact I haven’t had to go through as much as you. You’ve been through so much and you’re so strong!!! I hope 2019 is your year of freedom from food 💓

You've helped me with this. I had my final session at my eating disorder clinic yesterday, and I'm going into my first trial period. I'm really scared of a relapse, and your words reassured me that listening to my body is okay. I think I needed to hear that from an outside source.

You’re very fortunate to have such a loving family and to be able to afford all the help you got. You’re a strong and brave girl for telling the world your story and being honest that it’s still hard at times. You got this though, seems like you’re doing a lot better! 🙌🏼💕

I’m so glad your story has a happy ending!❤️ and you are so stunning it’s ridiculous😩💕

I cannot tell you how much of an inspiration you are. You are so beautiful and I’m so happy that you are in recovery. You should be so so proud of yourself. You are AMAZING. I cannot tell you how much you help me. 💕❤️

you are such a good person. Like a genuinely good person, I see so many 'recovery' vlogs by people who don't really believe in recovery. But you are so much different. You're a bright star

Thank you you don’t even know how much this helps in this difficult situation it feels like you can’t get out of a dark tunnel thank you for giving me hope 💛

You're really inspiring me. I'm only about 6months 20days struggling this anorexia and thats really hard for me to recover and ignore the ED's thoughts. But you suffering for many years and still can recover. Thats sooo inspiring :') Thank youuu

I recovered from my ED about half a year ago... Keep fighting! It's honestly such an amazing feeling when you have finally recovered ^^

I feel you girl :( I also got anorexia when I was 9 nearly 10 years old...now I'm 15 and still struggling with it 😔But I'm so glad you're trying to fight against your eating disorder now♥️

@allysonlovesjohnnyo7316

5 жыл бұрын

I feel you to and I’m here for you if you need anything❤️

@sofiabejarano1306

5 жыл бұрын

Same...

@Baky_T

4 жыл бұрын

You guys are the most supportive in the world. You just tell a random beautiful person that you'll be there if needed. I love y'all so much ♡

@randi0068

4 жыл бұрын

I'm a 35 year old woman, and I still struggle.

Thank you so much for sharing - there is always hope , for anyone out there still struggling , hang in there! I struggled with an eating disorder for about 2 years while in high school. I realize this isn't a long time compared to others life long battles but I struggled none the less. Eventually I got fed up enough with the disorder and didn't want it to rule my life anymore . It definitely does make your life very small, as you said . I started getting better on my birthday one year, I had a party and my mom bought sandwiches for everyone and I just remember thinking - I'm so hungry and I want to enjoy this!! And luckily I did .. and got a bit better everyday after that! Now I eat a healthy balanced vegan diet but never calorie count and enjoy lots of carbs and things like that . For me it was about control and the fear of gaining weight / wanting to be thin. Much love - you look radiant !! 😊💜

its really amazing to hear from someone who is still going through this. thank you

YOUR HAIRRRRRR ahhhhh I could literally cry it’s so beautiful

Its so reassuring to hear I'm not the only one who feels like this, thank you for posting this.

I've struggled with ED since 8 years old, and my recovery journey started with Shay Boddingham's Recovery channel on here-- I wouldn't be where I am today without that channel and all the valuable information on it, and I feel like you're going to help so many people with this! I admire you, and your channel so much! I think it would be helpful to make a video on what to expect during refeeding/ what going into treatment looks like; I feel like so many people with ED's feel trapped between staying in their ED and going to treatment, and personally a lot of that fear for me was due to the fact that I didn't have a clue what to expect with asking for help and getting inpatient treatment. Maybe a video of "The 5 best things about going to inpatient treatment", or "How to take the first step in ED Recovery?" You're a huge inspiration to the ED community, and seeing you challenge yourself keeps me focused on recovery every day (It's like a mini EDA meeting on my computer). :) Lots of love and admiration!

Incredibly brave of you to be vulnerable to such a broad audience-well done. Glad you made it through.

I like that you don't use a lot of pictures because you don't want to trigger anyone. That is very thoughtful of you and it seems like you really want us to focus on your story and not just your body💖 thank you for that.

You are so inspiring. my ed is not as bad as that, I lost about 110 pounds 2 years ago, and when I go to a low point of my weight, I couldn't stop restricting my calories and exercising. I was able to increase my calories from calorie counting, but I still stuggle with giving up exercising and eating. I have my calories at about 2200, but I exercise every single day without fail and i won't stop until i've done 2 hours. I so badly want to just let go of it and give my body some relaxation but I am so afraid to stop. seeing you say that your disorder took away so much of your life really opened my eyes, and I am going to work to stop counting and working out. I want my life back and I want to be happy. Thank you for sharing your story.

Not cool on the haters talking about money. It’s really difficult actually when for whatever reason your parents have to pay for treatment - my first treatment my parents blew a lot of their savings for - and it didn’t work and I felt so guilty it had a really negative effect which has lasted throughout subsequent years and treatment (I’ve had a lot of NHS treatment since) So people making comments about that maybe think before you comment - a lot of parents would give a limb for the wellness of their child! I also presume ED services in Hong Kong are non-existent or very limited. Interested to know what they considered to be an acceptable heart rate for you when you were in the Hong Kong physical hospital? Mine is around 37-42 depending but it gets put down to being super fit by everyone but the ED team!

@dickiewongtk

4 жыл бұрын

Not at difficult as having health issue AND poor.

Thank you so much for telling your story. Not to be off her story but on topic of anorexia/EDs, the fact that her parents were able to win a case in court for her well being as a young adult, just goes to show, again, how sad it is that ECs family is just letting her die. What a shame. Rebecca is so very fortunare to have love and support. This is how you overcome an ED (I understand that we all still struggle a bit daily but the ED isn't screaming in our heads anymore, which is so freeing!). Where there is life, there is hope!

Thank you for sharing your story and for your sincerity 💗 you are so strong and beautiful. I’m also going through a hard period of my life and I’m so glad that I found your KZread channel. Everything is gonna be alright 🌸

I struggle a lot with calorie restricting and will restrict myself below the survival amount even though I know it’s wrong, and get happy when I feel hungry. But tell myself I can’t struggle with an eating disorder because I don’t look like I have an eating disorder, even though I know that’s wrong too. But one thing that you said in this video is going to stick with me. That, our body’s don’t tell us we’re hungry for laughs, but because we’re actually hungry. Thank you. For some reason, that really resonated with me. Genuinely, thank you so much.

I love your story! I relate 100%! Your brave, strong, intelligent, well spoken & beautiful in every way!

I relate to you so much. I got sick in Dubai - there was no treatment there. I was flown back to Australian and then back to Dubai and then to Singapore for help. I’m proud of you beautiful girl. You are incredible.

I was 10 when my anorexia journey started as well.. this video is just so so relatable. So many aspects of our journey is similar..sending love and support❤️❤️❤️we are so strong!

Your story is so inspiring. I am still at the place you were when you were "surviving" and it's hard for me to get out of that rut. This gave me hope that I can conquer anorexia and reminded me of all the things it has taken away from me over the years.

You are so awesome. Thank you so much for sharing your story and putting yourself in a vulnerable but important position. You should be extremely proud of yourself and how far you have come!

Thank you for being so transparent ❤ you are inspiring and a huge help and encouragement to so many!!

You're story is beautiful....I was Anorexic from ages 13 till into my late 20s .It was hell.My parents tried treatment but I was so stubborn I starvd myself to 80lbs .I was a bsolutely miserable.I would get rid of my food any way I could .. hiding it in my clothes , flushing it down the toilet ,.and push myself to exercise excessively also making myself freeze in the cold temps .We lived in Alaska.I had to realize o.nmy own how I'll I was and I finally told myself you're either going to starve to death or eat healthy and live again.The healing was slow as was the mental healing.I pray as many girls as possible will be spared from an eating disorder.It is like anevil spirit inhabit s your body and you have no control .It was so painful for me and my family to go through..but if my story can help some others struggling I'll be thankful.... love and prayers

hi rebecca i just wanted to say thank you so so much for this video!! i developed anorexia living in hong kong too (i know of you through loads of different mutual friends) and i've always looked up to you, so thank you so much. you're such an inspiration to me xox

Thank you for sharing your story. I can really relate. I suffered with bulemia for years. At my worst point, I was in a staff meeting at work and ate 2 jelly babies and excused myself to throw up. That was the first thing I had eaten all day! I knew then that I needed help. My mind was consumed with food and calories all day. As a child, I was bullied for being overweight. In my early teens I lost a lot of the weight due to just being more active but then in my early 20's my weight constantly fluctuated. I would go from a UK size 10 to a 14 and back to a 10 again. I constantly had comments about my weight. I was working in a bar and the customers would say things like, "you would be more attractive if you lost a bit of weight." I felt like mywjoel life at this point had been about my weight! Constantly! It obviously wasn't, but in my head I was defined by my weight. I can't remember the exact turning point but I know that I ate a takeaway and just felt so guilty. This feeling overwhelmed me and I decided in that moment to go and throw up that meal. I instantly felt better but also felt regret - my Dad had bought me that food and I had just wasted his money! But the feeling of it not being in my stomach anymore was more significant. I would then only throw up when I felt like I had eaten a 'bad thing'. I knew I could eat what I wanted and when I wanted because I could just get rid of it. No one noticed. I was living this secret and it was my little secret. People would comment about how I could eat so much and stay so slim. Finally! I was told I was slim! It felt good.....I wanted more of that. So it progressed to throwing up everything I ate. I was tired all the time, I was always cold, when I stood up too quickly I would almost pass out. Certain chairs would really hurt my bum to sit on because I was so thin. I lost so much weight so quickly that I ended up with gallstones and had to be rushed to hospital to have my gallbladder removed. When I came out of hospital, I had lost more weight due to the surgery and not feeling like eating because of all the medication I was on. I remember looking in the mirror and seeing my body with all these staples in (where the surgeons had gone in) and my ribs and hip bones were sticking out. And I don't know what happened to my brain in that moment but I felt so sorry for myself. What had I done to my body? I went to see a hypnotherapist and we worked on changing my thought patterns. My eating disorder had come from a lack of control. At that point in my life, I wasn't happy at home and I was with a guy who was abusive and hurtful. The only thing I felt like I could control in my life was my body. I appreciate that sounds completely bonkers to some people, but it happens to a lot of victims of mental illness. That was 6 years ago and now I am a healthy weight and eating normally. I do still count calories but not in a restrictive way, just in a way that I don't want to eat over the daily limit. I think parts of the disorder will always stick with me - there are still foods I won't eat, but I eat now and I don't throw it back up and I will eat crap and not feel guilty. Unfortunately, a lot of my teeth were damaged from stomach acid when I would throw up. They're fixed now like, but I nearly lost a couple. For anyone reading this, there is so much help available and you don't have to live trapped I your mind. If you feel like you can't cope with it anymore then please tell someone. Or if someone notices that you have an eating disorder then when they question you, admit it. I promise you that there is a way out and

I hate to hear all this. You were so brave. Also, you're helping other people to recover

Thank you so much for this--you are so brave and inspiring. Keep on keeping on, we all are wishing the best for you!

you should be so proud of yourself! and you're doing a great thing for other people struggling with this issue!!!

This was fascinating and enlightening and I THANK YOU for being so honest because your take on the cause of anorexia being biological is scary as I assumed that you all wanted desperately to be thin, so I always knew I never wanted to be thin so I thought I’d never get an eating disorder, and I need to stop being so sure of all the nothing that I know THANK YOU BRAVE LADY.

Can't wait for more videos!! Thank you for sharing your story you are incredibly brave.

Hi Rebecca! I discovered you from NuttyFoodieFitness, and now that I'm getting close to having watched all her videos, I figured I'd branch out because I Love when you're on her channel. I plan on watching your videos from the oldest to newest, and I already know I'm here for a reason. Fellow anorexia + compulsive exercise recover-er here! Sending you so much Love and appreciation for your journey.

Wow great story. I've never suffered from an eating disorder, but some of the ways you described it I definitely feel like overlap with my anxiety disorders. I have OCD and anxiety and life does feel limited and rigid. It's so weird the way my brain works. Like I know I'm the only one who thinks this way, but it's like I have to do a bunch of things in some order before I can do anything else. I always make myself do all these chores before I live life and I plan everything and am so obsessed with following a strict schedule that I'm not living anymore. Fun isn't even fun because it's planned. I never listen to my gut instinct or go with the flow because my mind is telling me I have to follow my schedule I made. So right now, life is just a never ending to-do list for me and I feel trapped in that mind set. I'm still working on overcoming it

Dear Rebecca, thank you for sharing your story. I guess it must be super tough. It makes me sad to see that such an amazing, energy thriving and vibrant soul is suffering so much. I am glad you fight for your self and keep on going this difficult and challenging path. I send you lots energy and good vibes!!!

I just started recovery over the weekend. Although I many people think I can't possibly have anorexia because I haven'y been diagnosed by a doctor (again), I know. My family doesn't have the funds to pay for a doctor, let alone therapy or inpatient. So I took an online assessment with my mom and got informerly diagnosed. I'm only on day five and I'm watching your videos to help remind myself why I'm doing this.

I think it's so interesting how similarly disordered minds think. I am an alcoholic and I've been to treatment several times. My first time was when I was 25. I went about 2 more times by the time I hit 28. Everything you spoke about seemed so impossibly relatable to me, even though our disorders are so different. Just thought I'd point that out. Thanks for sharing and good luck in your recovery.

Thanks for sharing your story. I happy you are doing well, keep doing what you are doing you look great

Thank you for this! You are so strong and beautiful! Your story is very inspiring. I hope you're doing well, you deserve it

congratulations on your victory against anorexia! I know it's not completely over - if it's possible for it to ever be completely over, but you have done a really great job. Keep going! Keep living! You are really beautiful.

I love how honest you are. I'm proud and I don't even know you. Keep fighting and inspiring !

I don’t have an ED but your videos are helping me try to recover from addiction and other mental health issues. Thank you!

you and your parents must be so strong and insanely brave for sharing your story!

I'm praying for you Rebecca, Blessings!!❤

Here after your ten year eating transformation. Proud and inspired is an understatement

It was so eye opening to hear your story. It will always terrify me that people actually admire and glorify the behaviours of those with eating disorders.

Thank your for making this video! I am struggling with ocd, anxiety and obesity and could never be this brave to talk about something this hard and devastating... Subscribing wright now! ❤️

The way you talked about playing the part of being recovered, but having disordered thoughts kinda shocked me. I was in counseling for eight years, hospitalized twice, and throughout that time, I haven't actually met anyone that's done that. I did that, once I learnt how to manipulate therapists into thinking I was better. That's why I was only in the hospital for the minimum allowed time, I seemed perfectly fine. Like I lied to get in there. Now, I have my reasons for it, but I just thought it was interesting. I honestly haven't met anyone who went through that same sort of thing. And it wasn't even in my control really, either. I just kept acting fine, and then would get home and relapse terribly, only to end up with everyone mad.

I also stayed at the Ronald McDonald House in Portland. Although we never met I feel your struggle. I wish you the best in maintaining recovery. I am thankful for their staff and facility. I am also thankful that you are strong enough to share your story and help others living with these struggles.

You’re so strong💪 Thanks to you and your story I’m starting to believe in myself and control all the thoughts throughout a day) That’s such a long way but ww will never give up, I just know and believe in that

Stumbled across your channel today and I really hope that your journey goes upwards and only upwards from now on ❤️

I love you and your channel it’s so positive but so honest at the same time! Can’t wait for more and more content (:

I’m about to go to Denver as well. For some reason the idea of you also being there and then being able to recover and reach for life, makes me feel like maybe I can too. So thank you.

thank you for sharing

Even tho I suffer with BED, i really find your struggles relatable!! So glad I found you and I’m excited to recover with you! 💜

@souplover947

5 жыл бұрын

What are you doing about your BED?

@ladyhayley4859

5 жыл бұрын

Same here. I find her very relatable.

I started my eating disorder at age 9 after my parents divorce. Sucks to live like this but happy I found your channel!

Portland is a super cool place :) I’m so happy that you are opening up about this, not a lot of people show the in between of before and after. I really hope all goes well with your recovery ❤️

@DearReaderReadAloud

5 жыл бұрын

Portland OR. is where I finally had my breakthrough with food, able to accept eating and food as a good thing. Amazing food there..!!

You're absolutely gorgeous and such an inspiration to young girls and women.Thank you for sharing your story.I am currently fighting a relapse for anorexia and watching your channel helps so so much!😘Lysm Rebecca ❤

Your so so soooo beautiful! Thank you for sharing your story. I hope you are doing good today and I must say. Your mom is an amazing woman!

Hey Rebecca, I'm following you on Instagram from a while ,but I didn't know anythinh about you story and about your disorder, thanks for your honesty and for sharing it, it's so important for many people. Hope you'll be really well !!! your positivity is your best weapon 😉

@MrMuttiSimone

6 жыл бұрын

Rebecca Leung haha no problem , waiting for your next videos 😉

Ive just broke into tears when you mentioned the feeling of relief that you had when you were following a meal plan. Omg I want that too 😢

You are absolutely amazing, keep up all that you are doing!!!! 🙏🏻💖

You are so strong ! I wish you the best in life❤️

You're such a nice and beautiful person, your story has inspired me to get better. In general your videos make me wanna get better, thank you a lot 💜