As a female single traveler you were 100% right to be afraid. There is no place for talking about the way you look. I also think it was the smart thing not to say anything because if he had bad intentions, which you could not know at the moment, it could actually worsen things. When I felt uncomfortable around guys while travelling, I would do anything to avoid the situation. In your case I would probably go from hotel to hotel, explain my situation and see if there is anything they could do, even though booking said its all full. If that would not work I would go to a bar or pub, stay there until they close. No bar, I would sit on a bench near one of the hotels through the night. By the way, when I travel and know I would be alone, meaning I would not be with friends I met along the way I book 2- days in advance so I can decrease the chances of being in trouble. I love love lovee your channel and energy! You totally rock.

@aressantino2382

2 жыл бұрын

you prolly dont give a damn but does anybody know a tool to log back into an instagram account..? I was stupid forgot the password. I would love any tips you can offer me!

@michaelatherton826

11 ай бұрын

"100% right to be afraid." No she had a 100% right to be cautious: Prepare/BeAware/Scream/Run/Hide/Fight. She never needed to get past Prepare/BeAware and it doesn't sound as though she was well prepared (which is the reason for the paranoia).😐

Never feel guilty for trusting your instincts!! Though he didnt try anything doenst mean that your senses are wrong... Keep up the good travels!

As a dude, no he was a total creep, had poor social skills and was definitely giving off scary vibes. Glad you got out of there okay. Seriously, all men by now are fully aware that it's completely inappropriate to compliment women they don't know on their physical appearance (especially if that seems to be the only thing they can think of) and also really unacceptable to start using pet names. But please don't stop hitch-hiking and don't think every kind offer has an ulterior motive behind it :)

Hi Floor, I'm so happy that you brought this up, because it is SO important. Sorry, wanted to respond for a long time, but finally got around to it. These recommendations don't just apply while travelling, but in everyday life. Main principle: BE safety-conscious AND FLAUNT IT that you are. Take away any doubt in the mind of the man, that you are different, and that any attempts would have a bad ending for HIM. So this really is the opposite of your constantly fearing and hesitating, you will be more secure and feel muuuuch better. What does that mean in your case, many things: - Contact the local police station in this situation FOR SURE. If the rules state that you are not allowed to camp, call them, and tell them that you are in trouble with this rule and that the rule leaves you no other option than to take a ride with a wild stranger or that else, they could perhaps point you to someone safe, or even allow an exception in a public (school, church, monastery) or private space (garden) somewhere. Their rules are really intended to have everything happen in good order, not to harm tourists, or let girls take 'crazy' risks. If they have no solution, ask them if it is OK to send them the security info (see below), that is THE LEAST they can do, no effort for them. (mouwvegen en vrouwelijke charme gebruiken). My experience: police is VERY very willing to help out tourists in an emergency (I could tell you much more about several personal experiences like that, and I'm a man :-), no charm) - Then, if you are going to do what you did, but in Gent just the same, ostentateously take a picture of the car AND the driver driver BEFORE YOU STEP IN, and send the message to your ma, or the above-mentioned cops. Yes, the driver can overhear this conversation, no problem, this is giving him a clear signal. Then keep up your good demeanor and tell the driver that you are doing this because your mommie worries too much, with a good open smile, but you had no choice as, you've promised her/the police. You can also tell the driver this before you take the pictures and send the info. If I am the driver I would be happy and proud of you that you are so conscious and smart, and I would tell you that. You could even ask for a picture of his ID card before you step in. NO, this is NOT exaggerated. I am a father of a 25 year old myself and as a driver I want it just the same. A man also runs the risk of being duped, so if I let her take a picture before she gets in, she feels safer, and I do too.... works both ways, and any doubts are out of the way just from zero. - So, if the guy starts "princessing" you, kindly ask him to leave any flirtateous behaviour away, you have 3 children and a police man at home, and you don't want the man to have any misunderstanding about that, or you are both members of a close combat club, you have a black belt etc...... get the idea, Floor????? Be proactive and resolute, try to say it with a smile. I know, brush up on your acting skills. No problem if you are self-assured. If you scare him, also no problem. - Next, it's not stupid to have a small wedge to block any door from the inside, or to have a really loud sound alarm, and to keep something handy to beat on someones head if the situation really becomes strange, and have the police emergency number ready at hand with a simple emergency add (like the 112 app in Belgium, which requires no tapping numbers or much of any actions) - Screaming is the best defense! Girls and ladies, if someone bothers you, SCREAAAAAAM. 90% of attackers will run off very quickly, and they will count on you being so surpriced you will freeze and not do anything. Don't hesitate, don't hope for the best. SCREAAAMM and try to get away, once windows and doors start opening and the phones start coming out, your attacker will soon disappear. I can go further into really nasty scenarios but I won't, think through the scenarios beforehand and prepare for an eventuality, a good lie and exaggeration can get you really far. The message is clear. Your position must be self-assured, determined and well thought out in advance. Have a plan for every contingency, know what you would do if this or that.

@JackGreystoke

3 жыл бұрын

I was going to say you were lucky and in future carry bear spray, but this guy says it all. And the woman above who says your channel is great. It is. It’s refreshing. Thank you, I guess

@nifflofair6685

3 жыл бұрын

@@JackGreystoke this guy was nothing but kind! He had a daughter (most men call their daughters Princess) he was more likely trying to make her less fearful of him b treating her like his daughter! She Called Him and was totally unaware he was helping an ungrateful young woman Who he helped and kept safe, fed and risked having Her in he home!

@michaelrunk8593

3 жыл бұрын

actually don't scream yell fire. People hear screams all the time and ignore people when they are screaming. You wouldn't think that wouldn't be the case but sadly it is. If your suddenly in trouble and are being attacked you yell Fire as loud as you possible can. When people hear some yelling fire they are more likely to investigate.

@michaelrunk8593

3 жыл бұрын

@@nifflofair6685 No she wasn't being ungrateful. What you say maybe true but more then likely its not. Maybe if he had been calling her princess from the get go then your point would be valid but he didn't. It wasn't till she called him because she had no where else to go. I don't believe he was intent on harming her but at same time he was hoping that in her desperate situation more would happen then did. He probably didn't even realize how creepy he was coming off. The bottom line is getting picked up by strangers is risky especially for women. She would been better off just stealth camping. Worse chase is she woken by the police and the give her a fine and ask her to leave. Best case is she woken by the police and they hear her story and have some shred of mercy and help her find shelter for the night. More likely she probably could found a good secluded spot made camp then just woke up really early and no one would been wiser.

@harduphiker

8 ай бұрын

@@nifflofair6685killers and rapists have daughters too. It's not some automatic shield. She was right to be aware. And he overstepped the mark big time.

Hi. I'm a 63 year old man and have done a lot of travelling and trekking all over the world. I also have a daughter and have female friends (and male friends!) who are your age and I have to admit that I shuddered, several times, while I listened to your story. In an ideal world we could trust everyone but we don't live in an ideal world and there are some bad types around. As a young woman you are particularly vulnerable so please take my advice. Be extra careful with men-even if like me they have long hair and seem cool. And if you are ever in a situation again when your intuition/instinct/street wisdom shouts out warnings then heed them. Get the hell out of it.! Happy travels and may the Force be with you.

Wow, what a story. As I am reading the comments here, all the guys are like "yeah, he was being a little weird but most guys are good guys" and "maybe it was a cultural difference" and while he had you trapped in his house, he was just seeing if you were interested in him in an awkward way? Honestly, guys, really? As a female solo traveler, one has to always be assessing the situation and we have to trust our gut. I have had mostly good luck in my travels but I've certainly bolted from a few cars at street corners, declined many an offered car ride and "home stay" and dashed down a few side streets in my day. If you feel that an uncomfortable situation can change from harmless compliments to something worse, trust your gut, don't be polite and submissive. You handled the situation the way you needed to. Don't feel guilt.Trust your instincts.

@abcsandoval

3 жыл бұрын

yep. If a guy is so weak that he is offended by someone taking precautions, then what better sign that he may be emotionally unstable or that he is thinking about 'his' own comfort and not yours. People's 'gut instinct' is not as random as one might think. It may simply be wisdom' built over time through experiences and is hard to express into a tangible statement. A drowning man clings to any floating straw; a simply nice gesture, even a simple listening ear, can be misinterpreted - if he is too personal, slide yourself away...or run.

This is my take on it. This guy - middle-aged and probably starting to struggle with his mid-life crisis, enjoyed spending time with an attractive young woman and was hoping that you would think he was cool and attractive (hence all the talk about how he is an artist and such). He decided to "harmlessly" flirt a little to boost his ego, but ultimately knew it wasn't right - yet he did it anyway, go figure. He should have stuck with being a protective father-figure and kept his fantasies to himself. Most likely you were safe, but your instincts were spot on - he was being creepy! Never apologize for feeling uncomfortable and always trust your gut. I'm glad you were safe.

He's an older man so he comes from a time when men were "creepy" like that to women and women were expected to smile and "take the compliment" no matter how they felt. So I think you were you very right to be SO cautious and paranoid, but I think he was just treating you the way he was taught to treat the opposite sex. Like a precious little delicate princess of flowers lol

Interesting vid; In my travels and for my job, I have heard hundreds of these types of stories. I always say, trust I hard, esp in a situation like this. Always trust your gut feeling, but at the same time, MOST men are not bad, however, you don't want to put yourself in a position where you meet bads ones. This is a VERY difficult situation. Being directly flirtatious with you like that when you are alone... is not a good approach. Glad you were ok and are safe !!! :)

Great storytelling, Floor! From a man's point of view, yes that was very creepy. It sounds like he didn't have any ill intentions other than being a perv, but I wonder if he really did have a daughter coming the next day or was it just something he said to help you get your guard down and put you at ease? You should always trust your gut instinct. When you don't that's when bad things can happen. Very good on you for staying alert. I think if I was in your shoes, I don't think I could've fallen asleep. I've run into a few people when thru-hiking that offered to take me back to their house and feed me and let me spend the night. I'm sure they were all good intentions and just super kind people, but I've always declined. I think I've just watched too many Hostel and Centipede movies to allow me to feel comfortable enough to actually fall asleep : ) I'd rather spend the night in my tent or spend extra money for a hotel where I know I'll sleep in peace.

@dnnnforfordnnn7838

3 жыл бұрын

It's happened to me before at a parent's party where one of my parent's friends invited another random old man. This old man kept complimenting me and my facial features and how I look. He even invited me to his house and he told me that he has a daughter who is a super model (roll eyes). I was like 18 or 19 at this time, and after eating, I locked myself in my room and hid from that man. I came out to get some food once and the party was still going on. The old man was sitting by my dad and when he saw me, he started talking about how my dad shouldn't let me get married early, and that I should befriend her daughter instead...Later that evening this old man got kicked out because he randomly kissed one of my parent's guests and we later found out that he doesn't even have a daughter....HE ISNT EVEN MARRIED.

From what you are saying, my first thought was, that he might have tested how far he could go. He must have realized that you were on high alert all the time. In such situations, I would expect a father of a young daughter to behave diffetently in order not to scare a young woman. Do you remember when he told you that he was an artist? Was it before or after you told him that you paint? Is a common trick to find things you have in common in order to gain trust from another person.

I think You were correct to be scared because everybody have some personal space and no one should pass it without permission . Im glad You are ok. Be safe and see You on trail :)

Hey Floor, I love this channel and thank you for telling such as personal story! As someone who has hitchhiked quite a bit, and also hiked alone, I understand when you say that you sometimes can't pinpoint what it is, but there's a certain feeling or energy about someone that doesn't quite sit right. It sounds like this guy was weird, so I wouldn't doubt your feelings towards him. But yeh, as others said in the chat, it's good to trust your gut feeling with these things, especially if you are alone. Let's hope videos like this one raise awareness of how female hikers feel when alone and how something that might be seen by some as flattery can make women feel unsafe and uncomfortable.

You are a really good story teller and I think it was really brave of you to seek his offer, even if it was your only option. I think your fears are completely understandable. I think are lot of guys try and want to be nice but aren't very often harmful or dangerous. So, I'm pleased you shared this and I hope more people continue to hear your experience. :-)

Well this is a real scary movie!! Gosh. And very well told 👌

Girl you are absolutely right I would also freak out! And you are right about not saying anything and just keep it inside because I think if he had the intention to do anything it would have triggered him into acting.

I had a similar experience when I was camping and house surfing my way across America in 2019. I stayed with a couch surfer in New Mexico who was an art dealer and he had a really unique house that was built into the side of the wall underneath an underpass of a bridge. The door was a whole concrete slab that blended into the side of the wall. It was clear he was quite wealthy and young and he made a remark after I had trouble finding the place that the police hadn't been able to find it once before. I was a bit thrown as my previous couch surfing experiences had been where I slept on literal couches. I had my own room and bathroom but it didn't have a lock on the door and there were lots of female hair products in the bathroom. When I started to make my ramen soup dinner in his kitchen he invited me out to a wine bar and restaurant his friend owned in town, he said since his friend owned it we'd probably get a free dinner. I agreed to go with him, as I was in a stage of life where I was saying yes to more things. We got to the restaurant and his friend was super nice and served us lots of interesting things for free, then he told us how he was a sommelier and that he had several bottles of $3000-$5000 bottles of wine in his cellar, and he showed us pictures of the labels. He invited us to his house to try one. I again agreed and went with them.We opened a $5000 bottle of wine and had a great time. THey asked me how I was a solo female traveling alone and not afraid and I said that I believed most people were good, trying to appeal to their sense of goodness but I was scared shitless. I also felt super naive and out of my depth. Halfway through the evening the guy I was staying with mentioned casually that someone from his murder club was doing something or other. I was like....your what? Then he got all embarrassed and was like oh yeah I'm in a murder mystery dinner party group. My phone had died and I was terrified that I would be murdered. When we got back to his place I couldn't sleep all night and at 6am I got up, packed my bag and snuck out quietly and checked the bottom of my car for a tracker. Then I drove out of there. However, to this day this guy and I are friends online and we share music. So it turned out he was just a nice guy. I nonetheless felt super vulnerable. I think it's always good to follow your instincts and leave when you feel unsafe.

Always listen to that voice inside you telling when something is off. Never talk yourself into being a part of a situation where you don't feel safe or comfortable. You get those feelings for a reason.

Don’t ever feel guilty for feeling uncomfortable. You didn’t know this guy & were in a very vulnerable position. Your instinct is there for a reason. Better to listen to it & end up safe, then to ignore it & possibly have something bad happen to you. Thank goodness you ended up OK. Be safe out there!

Let me say that you are a wonderful story-teller ! As for what happened, it was totally normal to be afraid since you were in a situation where you were not in control. Thankfully he didn't seem to have bad intentions. I don't know if saying something would have changed the situation. I hope he would have stopped with the "princesse" and creepy attitude.

I'm always trusting my gut feeling. Maybe that guy has just been an art lover, really apprechiating your beauty. Maybe he was giving you a hint that he's open for more. Maybe he thought it would be a gentleman's way doing it like that. But one hint should be enough, his behaviour wasn't normal. I'm glad you've left the house. Maybe I would have said something regarding the Princess, but it has been a difficult situation, nowhere to sleep, you don't want that person to be angry or something else. But that exactly the point: Saying something can freak people out as well. You are not paranoid, not in the slightest.

You are so good story teller! I can not stop playing the video even to forward or skip something!:-)

always follow your gut! and i'm glad everything went well :)

Never deny what your “gut” is screaming at you!

@floordenil

4 жыл бұрын

Never thought it could be this hard!!

@tootsla1252

4 жыл бұрын

Floor Denil You were in a very vulnerable position. Your fight or flight instincts were on high alert - very Adrenalin producing

Thank you for sharing, glad you're fine, but in your case I would ask in the restaturant if they know where can you go, or does someone have a garden you can put your tent...

Wow, you are a great storyteller! I just stumbled upon your channel and watched a bunch of your videos. I'm so bummed to see you haven't posted in so long and that you don't have many videos posted. I just assumed you would have tons of videos because your content is so good. Are you ever going to post again? I'm sure everyone would love to see more videos!

After seeing, just about every 80s horror movies, you did everything right (I would have blocked the door and slept under the bed, just to be extra safe), always trust your instincts. Happy travels, you go girlfriend. As Always, Be Smart and Stay Safe.

Well thanks for the story. You were quite correct to be concerned. You jumped to a conclusion about him but he could have jumped to a conclusion about you. I think you were probably correct not to say anything the next day as it could have made him angry. Glad your well founded fears did not happen and I hope you did not have a too long a walk back to town.

@floordenil

4 жыл бұрын

Well yes, right? I was so scared to piss him off!

Stealth camping is a thing. Find somewhere out of sight and just set up camp somewhere after dark and break up camp before dawn. When I was young and broke I did it all the time. I was confronted by police once in Strasbourg, but they just woke me up and told me to move on. The older man was probably just aquardly trying to be nice, but it is very understandable that you felt uncomfortable. When I feel unsafe hiking or otherwise I just share my live location with someone using WhatsApp or Glympse. Thanks for your video.

Haha I had a dodgy situation like this when I moved to New York a few years back (from Europe). Bought my furniture for my apt at IKEA (okay I’ll admit, I’m Swedish) and asked for home delivery. They said it would take a WEEK. I’m like: I don’t have a bed. Or any other furniture. This guy overheard me and came up to me saying him and his buddy offer home deliveries. I weighed my options: sleep on the floor with literally NO furniture my first week of a very stressful job, or follow this unknown dodgy dude in a leather jacket and his pal (who didn’t speak any English) to their van. I chose option b but told them I’d only go along with it if I could snap a photo of his license plate and see his passport or drivers license. Then the whole ride from Brooklyn to Harlem I held his license and I memorized every number on there. Turns out these guys where alright, they scout out IKEA customers and offer home delivery in cash to make money (illegal and tax free sure, but no bad intentions concerning me as a girl). They helped me carry the stuff up to my apt (well, the driver made his friend carry stuff together with me while he stayed downstairs). It ended alright but it took some time before I dared to tell my mom about the little endeavor haha.. I’m glad I trusted some instinct at least and took some precautions but I’m aware that this kind of situation could have ended badly and I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone (or ever do it again).

the weather is very unpredictable, welcome in belgium :)

Hi Floor. My advice to you is to a) always listen to your intuition, b) plan better. NEVER go to a stranger’s house alone, or get into their car. I’m from the US, so I probably have a different understanding of safety then what is experienced in Europe, per se, but a creep is a creep.

I very much admire your enthousiasm and your trust. It is cheering to hear such a story. But if you would have been my daughter, I would surely have been very upset. By the way, you could have asked the police station at the port about boarding possibilities ?

Pitch your tent when its getting dark 😁 saves you a lot of stress 🤔

@floordenil

4 жыл бұрын

Haha, next time I will definitely try to be bold and just pitch my tent, even when it’s prohibited!

@Mrgoeniegoegoe

4 жыл бұрын

@@floordenil doe ik ook 😄

This is the first video I watched from you and wow, even if the man had no ill intentions and was actually just being nice, you have the right to feel creeped out/afraid. It may be because he was 50+ years old and he didn't know how to treat young women anymore?? But he claims to have a daughter... I mean would he be okay if 50/60 yr old men complimented his daughter's physical appearance and ogled at her? But man, I'm glad you're okay!

Thank you for the video:) I think your concern was justified. I think you're very brave. As a man, I was also worried. But it looked like you had no other option. In addition, if I host a woman with me, I try as little as possible to make comments about her appearance or comments that may embarrass her or cause her to worry / unpleasant. I always try to do preliminary research on a particular place I want to reach to "ensure" that I don't experience any problems. Wish you health and happiness, good and safe adventures. * Hope you feel better and relieved .. You have nothing to feel guilty about!

I think your feeling of just being weirded out was normal. Next time if this happnes just make it clear that you are not comfortable. If they try and do something, u know you need to leave. If they change their behavior then you will know they are all good and safe to be around. Still keep your guard up the whole time regardless.

It sucks that you feel guilty about it all because you did nothing wrong! You were definitely not exaggerating. Hope this never happens again and good luck on your hikes

Oh yes i can relate to this. Traveling alone, it just makes these kind of situations very different, I find. I think he crossed a line calling you Princess without checking that was okay for you. This is making advantages and in that situation this was really unappropriate. He might have not meant it badly or even realise this, some ppl really can't attune to others very well. And they need clear boundaries & communication. Not setting the boundary can be percieved as communicating this is allright for you. Especially when you feel you need to be nice and should not make things akward. These things bring up our emotional survival patterns that usually serve us not the best. I myself got assoulted once while traveling, and even then my first survival mode was "nothing really happened". 🤷🏼‍♀️ I'm curious how you are looking back on it now? Do you wish to be able to react differently, if you come across a similar situation?

I would have been just as scared. From the other side: you call a man at 9pm asking if you could sleep at his house, sure you’re a hiker and so forth but I image he’s probably single and he doesnt know you either. Men just wanna fancy us even though they dont know how to

You project your state of mind. and will look for everything creepy to affirm it.. you create your reality through your thoughts. Always good to be cautious though.. especially with old French dudes 🤙🏻

No you weren't paranoid from the story you told he gave off a very creepy vibe. One time after an after party at my company's Christmas party. It was 3 am and I was totally shit faced, one of my coworkers got me an uber, I waited for the uber to arrive and I got in, as I was trying to stay awake I noticed the man starring at me in the rear view mirror very creepy looking it reminded me of a serial killers mugshot and he gave off that vibe it was so scary I remember him starring at me to this day.

I am now retired, but back when I was in my late 20’s, I took a bus from Jerusalem to Cairo. On that bus I met two 20’s something females. We chatted a lot and in the end they invited me to spend the night on their hotel room floor as we all had early flights out and I did not have a hotel room. It was all just fellow travellers in need. I needed a hotel room and they needed a male escort in Cairo. It worked out as hoped for all. Just to let you know that there are good guys out there - and yes cross cultural foibles are always a challenge.

No normal man would say these things. Please never do that again and always trust your instincts

3:11 which spell did you cast here? 🧙‍♂️🪄

you do well... sometimes is like...

Oh hell no, you were not being paranoid at all. Not even a little bit. It sounds more like you have a very healthy response to strange men doing creepy crap, with you texting your friend, letting her know location and a warning and so on. Well done. Glad you're ok.

I do think that there is a (big) cultural difference between where we live (Western Europe) compared to the more southern countries. People often are genuinely more open and interested. "We" tend to be more closed minded, shy. I know for sure I'd have serious doubts asking a complete stranger to sleep in my house. It might happen, because of bad weather conditions, or whatever reason but I'd be on edge the whole time. On the other hand, calling someone "flower", or even just saying "you're pretty" is just plain weird, even if it's the case because you SHOULD know that strangers will find it, well strange. I can imagine it's even worse as a solo female. I for instance, have taken different hitch hikers to Brussels. It was probably as "scary/weird" for them, as it was for me. They don't know my intentions and I don't know theirs. I'm genuinely shocked, to see how many just step into the car of a complete stranger and on the other hand, how others just take the risk for granted. I've seen some great tips in the comment sections on what you can do to feel safer but as others said as well, I'd just pitch the tent at dusk and camp. The fine you can get is a lot less worse than things that could happen to you. Not saying that camping solo is risk free, but I'd take that over staying at a complete stranger overnight.

I have certainly got myself into weird situations like that, usually via meeting random people over the internet or apps or whatever. Less so when travelling solo - one scary situation where I got into a taxi in Ethiopia that I'd hired and someone else got in behind me unwarned...I just bailed and refsused to go with him. Cos...that's just classic being robbed. Had to bail out of a cab in Egypt as well when the guy was refusing to take me where I wanted to go....so yeah. But mostly people off apps! All i can say is: trust your gut. It was right in this case, this guy was being creepy, even more so if he had a daughter (btw that's a classic trick to gain confidence. and some of the worst serial killers had families and daughters or wives who looked like the victim, so yeah...don't be fooled).. And bail if it's not right. Surprised you didn't ask the restaurant if they knew somewhere to go, that would be safer. Go to businesses or as you said in the other video, police, organisations, they are more trustworthy than a random guy. Even sitting at the pier and spending the night awake would be likely safer than random guy's house.

I think he was demonstrating his interest to you to see if you answered him back and probably to go as far as you let him.

"Why I'm hiking alone?" 9. Maybe because of the extra adrenaline coming from unexpected situations? :)

I think you behaved exactly right. I would not ignore my feelings. It is possible he was gauging you to see if he could push you into something (at a bare minimum he was hitting on you badly) and by remaining calm, and being defensive you clearly sent a message that you were not that girl (and not interested).

Always listen when your guts telling you somethings wrong.. self preservation mode is presented in 2 distinct ways in my opinion - your body will tell you to get the hell away & ypur brain will tell you to remain calm.

The motivations involved were not pure. He was hoping something was going to happen, and when it didn't he began to become more obvious about his intentions the next morning. As a guy and a belligerent American I would ask... please be careful hitchhiking. Be careful placing yourself in a vulnerable position with people you don't know as well. And finally... Trust your instincts. You are the product of dozens of millenia of successful Human evolution. If your brain is screaming that loudly that there is a problem, there's likely a good reason.

Seriously Floor a man old enough to be your father sadly playing the oldest game in the world.. you fended him off gracefully and the world goes on its way. Being a guy or for that matter a woman will never go out of fashion.

That story made me feel really really anxious, and I am 6'2" 90 kg man. That being said, it did trigger me a bit when you, in another video, made the comment "especially not weird men" as a sidenote to the subject of some people on the trail being someone you rather not see again. I am on the autism spectrum and I have simply concluded that its best if I dont talk to strangers at all. I usually get feedback in professional settings that people think I dont like them, but I act neutral across the board so I dont get into situations that scare people. The finesse required to not scare people, especially women, is too difficult for me. The result of todays "we only talk to our phones and our social media followers" - climate is that I have never been in a long term relationship and I have a very hard time making friends. The women I have been with had to hit on me like really obnoxiously obvious, which seriously narrows down the chances I have had of finding a partner. I am not even trying to whine over it -- this is the cards I have been delt in life, but I just felt like sharing. I am just not that good at communicating or reading cues. Honestly, you seem like a pretty weird person as well. Maybe this will give some insight into the privileges you have. A man that keeps saying stuff like that is probing for a response from you. Women rarely hit on men, and if they do, its really really subtle, so this is just the reality we have to live in -- its almost fair that your non-response could be interpreted as a subtlety. This man seemed like he understood that your non-response could be interpreted in different ways, so he did not pursue it any further. I am guessing he didnt text you either. I dont know the full context of this story, and I agree that I would be freaked out in your situation, but I guess scary stuff is a part of life, and hopefully you dont end up in a situation like that again. Being socially awkward is kinda turning into the norm now -- we spend more and more time on digital platforms, but the body will still send anxious signals because it has not adopted this new mode of being social yet. This problem is, of course, multifactorial ... its no help that our parents, the baby boomers, had no practice of dealing with hard times either, and really didnt know how to engage in raising children that had to take major responsibilities and the increased anomie that such social tension creates. The rise of neoliberalism and a thinning out of the middle class, increased pessimism towards the future in terms of being able to sustain the living standards we have become so accustomed to without destroying the planet, everyone being informed to the brim and hyperstimulated etc. .... I believe that such social tension creates an unpleasant climate between the genders and that it trickles down to personal attitudes of engaging with other people, especially that of another gender.

Yea usually your first instincts are the right instincts. I doesn't sound like he had any intentions of harming you in any way. However I think he was hoping for more to happen then did. So it was more of he was being creepy and he many not even realize how creepy he was being. Either way I I wouldn't suggest putting your self in that position again. Your better off trying to stealth camp then going off with some stranger. I'm 46 and have over 20 years of hand to hand combat training and even I would have a hard time going off with some stranger I just barely met. If I found my self having no other choice. I would take picture of license plate, get persons name and how long of a drive it will be to there home so I could let my family or friend know when to expect a call. This will hopefully eliminate any bad intentions.

I find myself trying to be as invisible / non-existent as possible if I meet a girl / woman on a hike so that they hopefully think that I am no freak.. but that might also have the opposite effect haha.. best to be yourself and simply be kind and respectful.. that's about it.. nothing more you can do... but it definitely is an advantage to be a solo male hiker.. no worries about creepy women ;-)

First, I'm so glad that you were okay after this experience! As a fellow woman listening to your story, I could totally relate to your fear and feelings, as well as playing it cool to not upset him. I do not think you were overreacting. This dude sounds creepy. He was certainly forward, and looking for an opening. Luckily you didn't give him one, and he didn't try to force himself on you. I saw one of your more recent videos on safety and it sounds like you learned a lot from this experience. While I haven't had enough solo camping experiences to have been in this situation, I have had to deal with plenty of creepy dudes. I used to struggle with an unconscious compulsion to be polite or nice. I nearly got myself into some bad situations because of it. After a powerful and scary close call, I realized I'd rather be a bitch/rude and safe/alive, than be nice, and .... It seems best to nip these kind of situations in the bud so if at all possible you can avert them before they happen. ALWAYS listen to your gut. Your nightmares were your intuition talking to you. I'm an intuitive healer, and those senses can save our life. It is possible to feel someone's less than benign intentions. I think that was what you were sensing when he was looking and talking with you. I'm so glad that you got out of there safely. In your more recent safety video you mentioned still having some nightmares about this experience. If you haven't already, it might be worth finding a skilled therapist or healer you can trust that can help you work out the residual energy from this experience. While nothing concrete happened, it sounds like it was a traumatic experience for you. (There's no guilt or shame in that. I think some of our close calls can effect us just as much.) Thanks for sharing your story with us. It takes a lot of courage. I hope it helps keep many more people safe!

im a guy and if someone offers me a ride, id be like "uh yea no"

I'm wondering if he had some kind of camera in the shower

@floordenil

2 жыл бұрын

I checked that as well and showered in my underwear 😂

But how do you sleep with you're eyes closed in a stranger's house far away from civilization 😂 I would never shut my eyes man 😂 You're very brave ♥️

Dude here That guy was definitely a creep - consciously or unconsciously. Now here's a story that happened to me: Got approached in Amsterdam by a very nice man (45-ish) who had also traveled a lot (I had been 2+ years on the road, mostly hitchhiking and he had some crazy stories too.) I was going to sleep in the park again, as I always did, but he invited me to his place. Nothing weird yet. We get to his house, he starts giving me alcohol, and alcohol... and anyway, time for sleep arrives and I want to sleep on the couch but he insists we share bed because it's more comfortable. I resist at the beginning but the guy is drunk and won't shut up, so whatever, i can sleep in a bed with another man, no biggie. No biggie, of course, until his hand starts to creep in and i'm like "what the hell man!?" and he's like "just like my nipple". Well, I got angry, he got even angrier and left the apartment - I was locked in. Incredible rush of adrenaline kicks in, I'm not tired anymore, nor drunk... just fucking scared. I start opening drawers and boxes in drawers... and I find a spare key (so lucky). Pack my things in the back, even the shoes (so i can leave faster) and leave the apartment, get to the street, run for 10 min. This shit can happen to anybody, and in my opinion (although, yeah, opinion of a guy so whatever) these close-encounters are the adventures we wish we had had, even though we hate them when they happen. But at the same time *we chose to get in this situation* because we expected a reward - staying with locals, free food, free ride, new friends, whatever. And 99% of the time the experience is wonderful. I could fill pages with it. So Floor, maybe communication helps (had many gay men insinuating until i stood firm) and also being aware of your surroundings, maybe texting your friend before you get in the car (as opposed when you are already in the house) and never put the backpack in the trunk unless you are sure nothing could go wrong - then you can get out at any time (this I also had to do...) Thanks for sharing

this could have gone so wrong...

You did well, hitch hiking doesn t work for men in Corsica, he certainly had second thoughts and he knew you couldn t find a boat in the evening .David Blondeau, a well known trekking coach in France talked ironically about that. His video about the GR 20 are on YT. Be more paranoid.

This is creepy just from what he is saying, probably he was hoping for more I don’t know 😬

And I think your instinct was totally good. I think he might have tried something if you where more open to his attitude. Which would have been even more uncomfortable for you. And I think you could have said that his compliment made you a bit uncomfortable and that you wasn't at all looking for any kind of post hike adventure (lol).

Totally adorable.

A guy at 50 should know that being to familiar will scary you. You have been lucky that the guy was benign syrupy old timer. Anyway in my opinion he tried to start something with you.

Correct to be afraid Floor, but also take the cultural differences in account, maybe like @moyashisoba says he was arti farty, lived mostley alone, and not used to oure Belgian ways of communicating... When I was traveling alone I tryed to find a good hidden wildcamping place in like a 2 hr's walk from end destination where you can relax for a day (near water).

@adelekhagna

4 жыл бұрын

As a french girl I would say that his behavior was clearly flirty and not just casually friendly 😁

Great story. I must admit I laughed a lot. Keep it up.

If he wanted to do something to you, it seems like he could have, but he did not want to harm you, with that being said, no you weren't being paranoid, doesn't seem like you treated him badly. Glad things worked out for you, you should pack a pistol for now on though, everyone you come across won't be as kind as this man was.

Nope he definitely should've known not to call you princess and DEFINITELY not commented on your looks when you are a traveler and alone. I probably would've acted the same was as you. But I remember a saying that being nice won't save my life.

I know that this is an older video, but man was you out of your mind or what? As a father myself I would recommend you learning some self-defense and maybe carry a knife, pepper spray or something on you. Glad it all turned out ok for you. Stay safe out there, just too many creeps in the world.

As a dude i never experienced that flower shit, quite the opposite lol. But yeah hard to tell what he wanted. My guess is that either he tried to have sex with you or he was really trying to comfort you but in a strange way (but maybe thats french culture or something idk).

Looks like I'm first.

He was weird

Bro was weird. I don't think you exaggerated because old dudes are creepy sometimes, but some aren't. It was great to not let your guard down even though it all went well.

Hey floor, vanuit mijn perspectief als man kan ik je absoluut aanraden om duidelijk te communiceren als je iets vervelend vind. Ik heb zelf ook in soortgelijke situaties gezeten aan de andere kant waar ik achteraf doorhad dat diegene zich oncomfortabel voelde bij mij, wat eigenlijk vooral pijnlijk was haha. Ik denk dat verreweg de meeste mannen zouden stoppen met op een bepaalde manier communiceren als je erin vraagt. Je killt wel een beetje de vibe inderdaad als je zegt dat je je oncomfortabel voelt, maar daar moet je je niet schuldig over voelen. Die echt goede vibe is er toch al niet als jij eigenlijk gewoon bang bent. P.S: ik heb de afgelopen week al je video's gebingewatcht en ik moet zeggen dat ik er veel aan heb gehad! Ik ga zelf deze zomer kungsleden lopen (mijn eerste lange hike) en ik heb met jouw hulp kunnen zien hoe de Day to Day business van hiken in zijn gang gaat wat heel nuttig is, ook heb je echt een toffe persoonlijkheid en kan je goed vertellen!

@noxical3275

Жыл бұрын

Het ding is dat dat niet alleen “de vibe killt” maar ook gewoon gevaarlijk kan zijn. Als je in een heel kwetsbare situatie zit zoals bij Floor hier duidelijk het geval was, is het beter om niet ook nog te riskeren dat je die man boos of geïrriteerd maakt. De mogelijkheid dat die dat misschien “perongeluk” doet en dat het later pijnlijk is, is toch veel minder belangrijk dan je veiligheid en integriteit!

I would run alway in the firt weird look this guy gave. At a minimun I would stay close to my knife. Were I came from people get killed in this kind of situation.

Yes that's weird... Consider yourself fortunate it all worked out. Creepy comments. Even if he is a socially ackward guy.

I do not think you were careful enough. I would have asked a female waitress if she knew of a place that you could rent for the night.

@floordenil

4 жыл бұрын

bethoverby1 That’s indeed what I will do if this situation occurs again in the future 😅

@johntucker3382

4 жыл бұрын

That's the best piece of advice. As hikers, we regularly come across many very kind and honest people and we take them on face value. However if you feel uncomfortable and your gut feelings kick in telling you to beware then you need to heed those emotions. If the man was innocent and genuine he should have been more considerate in his behaviour and words

If he will be danger, you will probably not get from the car for the first time. He was just old artist soul that could see beauty, not controlling patiently, what is he saying. He saw you as his daughter and you were substitution for her, because by my meaning, he was able to have girl company. But on the other side, I absolutly understand your fear. Too many coincidences on one day could bring a man out of peace.

What would I have done as a man at his age? I would have probably tried to make you comfortable, tell you that you understand that you are in an uncomfortable situation and that should write somebody where you are. I would have told you that you can lock all rooms - bathroom and bedroom. And I would have tried not to show that I find you attractive. Would I have noticed that you are uncomfortable - I don´t know, but I should have been able to realize that anyhow.

Sounds like normal french boomer. Good guy. But I wouldnt let my daughter sleep at his place.

Please don't do this kind of thing ! Ne faites plus jamais cela, vous prenez trop de risques. Il vaut mieux garder ses distances avec des gens que vous ne connaissez pas. A votre place dans la même situation, je sors de la ville et je campe discrètement en montant ma tente après le coucher du soleil.

Don't overthink it. The guy is a creep and I am French so sharing the same culture as him. Ewwww

I would advise to get the hell out of that car with the first "princess". That's super-creepy and demeaning. I had one weird experience. I was at Czech/German borders in the middle of nowhere. Luckily I was camping there with two more hikers, we made a fire. And suddenly around 10pm a lone figure comes out of the forest. It was a German man around 60 years old and he wanted to talk. He said that he comes to the place regularly. I guess that he was just lonely and sought some company on place that was pretty logical camp site for hikers, but if I was alone I would shit my pants.

I don't think you were being paranoid. You never know what someone's intentions may be. It could have been that he was considering something nasty. Also, sometimes men that are really lonely can be super creepy to women and not realize it, but that doesn't excuse their behavior. I've had men say things in an elevator about my beauty or whatever and it's life, dude you don't say things like that to a girl when she's alone. Plus, repeating a compliment over and over is called being profusive. It's not nice. It's not polite. It's creepy and it's over-kill. You were smart not to hand over your backpack.

Ain't it fun to be a woman....

Don´t go home to older men. Simple as that. It is highly likly they have some other intentions

The man sounded very nice, the only weird thing here is that you stayed the night with some strange man whom you do not even know and beat yourself up with guilt b/c your paranoid that he might have been a rapist or murder who picked up a beautiful girl traveling alone and took her back to his place for a night of fun? You are right to have paranoid feelings, you may have gotten out of this situation but I wouldn't continue to take risks with your life. When you let your guard down that's when something bad can happen.

He did not make any inappropriate advances, but could have been worse. I think he was hoping for more... In general complimenting a lady should not be a problem, the issue was with the persistence he did this.

Don't do things like that again. Don't play lottery...

@floordenil

4 жыл бұрын

I’ve learned my lesson 🙃

Echt niet oke die dude. Volgende keer beter wildkamperen ergens waar het niet mag dan je zo voelen!

Please don't hitch hike!!!!!!!!! You are so pretty and it's not safe AT ALL!!!!!!!!!

It's hard to judge what actually happened based on a subjective point of view. However it could be a culture thing? or, honestly, to me it just sounds like a guy who's trying to show you some hospitality AND also in the most "non-threatning" way he knew of (and also seemingly very socially awkward/creepy), he's probably just trying to let you know, that *if you wanted* to do something more than just sleep at his house he would like to offer you that service as well. Just guessing here, but if you have never tried to be the one who feels unsafe in a situation like this, it might be hard to understand how he can make you feel that way, when in his mind, all he did was simply being polite and never physical in any way. With that being said, I understand very well why you got scared. Communication is a difficult thing :-P

@johnclements6614

4 жыл бұрын

Well yes he probably was just not thinking. If he did want more he should have said something when he dropped off Floor at the port. Then she could have said no thanks and not been in a vulnerable place whilst trying to decline an unwanted advance.

@metouw

4 жыл бұрын

@@johnclements6614 I'm not trying to condone or defend anything that happened and I'm not gonna advise on how he should have done instead... I'm just (despite this being pretty far-fetched, lol) speculating on what happened in his mind on the basis of her side of the story :-P

Sorry, all men are not responsible for your paranoia. Advice: Amazon Portable Door Lock for Travel (also consider small portable motion detector). Story: Decades ago I was hitchhiking in Northern California and there were two of us at the same onramp. It was getting dark and we got picked by two guys who offered to let us sleep over at their house. The other hitchhiker got all hostile and demanded to be let out thinking they were gay. I went with them to their house. They fed me and I slept on their couch. They probably were gay, but it never became an issue. In the morning they gave me a ride back to the highway. I have another even better story, but about race not sexual orientation. ;-)

Had you found him attractive , might things have been different...usually when that happens....

First of all, as a father of one daughter, I think you're right to be worried in just such a situation! But I would also have to say that you're not very wise at all! Okay! I didn't mean to say that, I meant to say, "STUPID!" You're stupid for putting yourself in such enormous amount of danger time after time! I don't know how else to put it! It's just not a good thing to do! I hope you're not offended by me saying that! That's just what I would say to my daughter if she was behaving like you! I love my daughter very much and have raised my voice to her only two times in her life. Once when she was 4 years old and once when she was in high school! She's a wonderful, happy, adventurous girl like you! And she has gotten herself in bad situation from time to time - and I have always been honest with her about how she got in such a mess! Many times she could have been killed doing things she shouldn't have! I've always taught her that we live life to the fullest - but we also take precautions to insure that we can! And the number one way we do that is we value you human life - beginning with our own! We cannot view our lives flippantly as though we are invincible. Because we are not! I would say respect your life a little more! :) Concerning the man; It appears he may have had no bad intentions. But who can say! If the man DID have bad intentions, then you can be sure God sent his angels to protect you - YET AGAIN! I have NO idea how I came across your video - but, I will certainly remember to say a prayer for your safety as often as you come to my mind! God Bless you, Floor! Stay safe! ;)

@FurryWulfz

2 жыл бұрын

You sound like one of these weirdos.