That you weren’t put on bipolar meds for so long is heartbreaking and a disgrace to the medical community. You are amazing and strong and loved. ❤

@BipolarPerson

Жыл бұрын

When I was 16 they missed diagnosed me with schitozphrenia the combo caused Stevens Johnson syndrome and I almost died. Years later I was diagnosed with depression and put on Lexepro which sent me into psychosis, then after my 3rd episode I was diagnosed with bipolar 2 and put on 10mg Abilify, that was not a strong enough dose and I believe cause my last paychotic episode. Thankfully I ended up in jail and not hurting someone because I drover over 100mph all over town in psychosis.

Thank you for telling OUR story. BP1 here and this is a story I can finally relate. My respect and hope you continue to heal. Looking back is hard and shame kills.

My wife has had some heartbreaking times.. I'm so glad I stayed with her She always has a save home .

@jackiegseventee

2 ай бұрын

What a real man.

I drove 110mph on highway and it felt like 50mph. Just could not get enough of that psycho mania feeling. I was also arrested during manic episode and police took me to jail instead of the hospital. In jail my angry “manic” out bursts led to having my water shut off. I was forced to drink toilet water for 15hrs and given no food, clothes, medication or basic human care. I was so crazy angry that I wrote “f*** you” with feces backwards (so they could read from other side) on the large window. The sheriff’s were so appalled and intrigued that they took pictures. I was wrongfully arrested for two days until posting $2,000 bail on false charges that were eventually dismissed after 7 court dates (two years). I received no treatment, assistance or simple apology while losing two days of my life and $2,000 for my manic episode. I’m just blessed the police didn’t shoot and kill me during the episode like many others who lose their lives every single day. Mania can be deadly so please take medication or see a psychiatrist because my depression (crash) lasted 3 months. Sorry, just being completely honest and I never knew I was bipolar until last month…God Bless!

@BipolarPerson

Жыл бұрын

They put me in a cell overflowing with shit. I can relate!!! They hate us and yeah we are the lucky ones! So glad you made it through!!!

@diantinatalist6686

2 ай бұрын

Better never to have been born like the Bible said and like David benatar wrote in his book with that title. It’s always worse being female. I feel for you.

@diantinatalist6686

2 ай бұрын

@@BipolarPersonnobody is lucky to have been born

I had my first major psychotic episode this past fall/winter. I was accusing my husband of hurting me because he left a bruise on my arm trying to keep me under control when I was the one lashing out at him. I tried hitting him and broke a window. I ended up sleeping with a coworker and staying at his house for almost a month before he kicked me out for slashing his roommate’s tires (I thought he hated women and was trying to sleep with me and hurt me). I left him and wandered the streets and slept in a graveyard. I thought my husband and his family were Nazis trying to hurt people and steal my land. I ended up going to the hospital three times and once to jail over the course of three months. After the second hospital my SIL bought me a plane ticket to fly from FL to WA and my psychosis was getting worse. I thought my brother was cheating on his wife, I thought people in my family were gay when they obviously weren’t. I just kept coming up with narratives in my head that made no sense. I thought I was a witch and that frogs were talking to me. Once I was hospitalized the third time they finally gave me risprodol for the psychosis and I started to come back to reality. All that and my husband still came and got me from WA and took me home. I lost my job since my coworker reported what I did and I’m still trying to find work now. All this and I still don’t know what my doctor has me down for as a diagnosis. I told him I’ve been educating myself on bipolar and he seemed skeptical that I have it. The medical system is so messed up that we can have all these crazy experiences and then we have to condense our stories down to a 15 minute psychiatrist visit. I’m trying my best to gather the pieces and understand what happened to me and I hope others who have bipolar can get the help they need too.

@BipolarPerson

Жыл бұрын

When you said your husband was still there ohhhhh waterworks!!! What a beautiful soul, we are both so lucky to have such amazing, compassionate and understanding partners! What you went through sounds pretty standard for psychosis. If you feel like your doctor is not answering your questions maybe try another one but stay on your meds! There is a bipolar test online not meant to diagnosis but you can take the results to your doctor. I'm so sorry you went through that! It sounds so similar my last delusion that all of the sudden my husband had a secret family but it was not only him I believed all men were cheating they were only going to work to cheat and some women just played along. Delusions are bananas!!! One time I thought gay people were not real that they were just pretending to teach us inclusivity. I think that delusion came from my empathy of the pain non heterosexual people feel from the outside world. I also empathize with celebrities a lot because of my mania and Truman Syndrome delusions and so when I am manic everyone is famous in disguise... Homeless people are famous and they just pretend because they are celebrities who can't go outside without getting harrassed by people. I just took this test it's just meant to be a starting point not a diagnosis if you screen positive it means see a doctor. qxmd.com/calculate/calculator_677/mood-disorder-questionnaire-mdq

You are such an inspiration! People like you are the reason why I have always wanted to become a psychiatrist 🙌🏼 thank you for sharing your stories! I cannot imagine how hard it must be. You are so brave. Stay the way you are, beautiful soul!

@BipolarPerson

Жыл бұрын

❤️ Thank you.

My daughter is running wild. Thanks for sharing your story. I'm a desperate feeling helpless.

@BipolarPerson

Жыл бұрын

I'm sorry, I hope things get better soon.

Came across your videos when searching about psychosis. I too have bipolar 1 with psychotic features and have suffered 3 major psychotic episodes in the past 6 years. Just want to say that I admire your courage for sharing such personal details about what it’s like to live with this disorder. When I first began having difficulty with it I was so lost and misunderstood. I know that resources like this will help people out there struggling more than you ever know. Thank you again for putting yourself out there and providing the raw details. Wishing you the happiest and healthiest future going forward.

@BipolarPerson

Жыл бұрын

Thank you! My dogs death sent me to psych ward last Sunday so I just got bsck. Fun times. Thank you for your support it means a lot. 🥲

@rmanders5139

Жыл бұрын

I’m so sorry to hear about your dog. Good for you for using the psych unit as a place to recover when things are tough. Hope you’re feeling better than before!

Thanks for sharing. I have mental illness, too. I live on Skid Row in DTLA. I am now stable, living alone in an SRO, and I am doing a social work hustle. In November I was here for 7 years, and I am not planning to leave. I will keep tuning in.

@BipolarPerson

3 ай бұрын

That's awesome you're helping people. Stability turns the lights on life. Thank you and for your support! ❤️

My daughter was going through the same thing you did but thankfully I researched the hell out of all her symptoms and learned how to cope and help her with out pushing her away. We did go through hell and back though a lot of sleepless nights not knowing where she was but thank God today she is on meds and has a therapist and doing better. Thank you for sharing your story it helps to know we weren't alone because this disease makes everyone feel like it's only happening to their family.

Thank you for sharing your story. I'm trying to learn how to cope with a family member and after all this time of major issues I'm finally getting it. May God bless your life.

I just got through watching every video in your diary playlist plus all the other videos you've made about bipolar, and I am left completely touched. I admire your strength, grace, and utter goodwill in being so transparent and open in sharing the most vulnerable lightless corners of your dark places. If I've learned anything in life, it is that vulnerability is strength. It is so easy to close off to yourself and your emotions, especially after an episode where you've caused yourself such abundant pain and misfortune, but taking myself through your art has helped me to realize just how much I have been turning away from myself. I am still a bit at a loss for how to find my way back, but I trust and hope I will with time. I have just gathered the strength to share some very small pieces of what I've been through in my episodes with a journal, so the degree of transparency you have to share your story to this huge platform moves me! I am so incredibly proud for you, you're admirable. It takes someone who has been through parallels to your experiences to truly understand how hard it is to not just go through some of the thing's you've shared, but to share them out loud is a strength I really admire. Incredible. I can't begin to express my gratitude for your openness, I feel so alone in my existence, like a crunchy scribble faced freak in a room of smooth white faces that move so quickly and effortlessly in circles around me it leaves me stuck in my feet. I truly understand so much of what you've shared, and feel understood through your sharing it. Bipolar is the antagonist of my journey thus far, it makes me feel so much less alone to hear your accounts, to listen while you tell your story. Your story is so powerful, and I am so grateful I invested my time listening to it. Seeing you doing so okay through your ups and downs, and with a partner who loves and understands you unconditionally has given me the first sliver of hope I've felt since coming out of my most recent (second) hospitalized episode in August/September. I dream to have connection to someone like you, I feel so hopeless and alone sometimes. I'm working towards feeling different so life isn't so lonely. Sometimes it really feels like just a string of lost people, as Billie Eilish would say, a sea of dead friends lol. Your videos and channel are truly art, they are so beautiful, and so raw. I find myself feeling "sorry for myself" through the heaviness of regret and disgust with myself for writing a life story with chapters of just... ugh.. idk even the right word that bipolar has written in my pages. I am working through the shame and towards acceptance of things I so badly wish weren't apart of my past. They're burned into my memory though. I think the way you validate the point that yes, I was insane, but also, these things happened to me! - is very powerful. You've been through so much and you've validated so many things that not a single person around me in the world can begin to understand, and I can't necessarily articulate because they cause me so much pain. I don't experience night sweats, my heart goes out to you for that. But I do find myself paralyzed in my mind by PTSD from before and after my episodes. It's crazy how the psyche funnels and fixates on the deepest traumas, and brings them straight to the surface when mania is there. And how the most primal, hostile, defensive version of yourself carries you through the world while you're stuck in trauma autopilot. I truly admire you as a role model, and as an artist. I find it incredible the way you focus on your music, I hold onto hope that I will find my way to a life that allows me to focus on my art and express the depth of myself in a similar way to how you have. You have earned the "cushiness" of your life times a million, love. Your "breakdowns" (and breakthroughs that come through them) may feel bad, my heart hurts when you cry; but I promise that they contribute to the betterment of the world. Or at least to the world that those of us with bipolar live in. I have not found a channel that has allowed me to feel community, and has directed me towards acceptance of the parts of myself and my past I would give absolutely anything to go back in time and save myself from experiencing like yours has. Stephanie, thank you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your love, openness, and glitteringly beautiful vulnerability. You and what you're creating has helped me move closer to feeling love for myself similar to before I found my way into such ugliness, towards accepting and moving forward. I have felt stuck in place, like the days and months are racing past me while I'm stuck in the same spot, swollen with shame, regret, whatever you want to call it. That pitted feeling you only know if you're bipolar, and life has morphed you into a monster that effortlessly destroys everything around you with no one to blame at the end of the eruption but your brain, yourself. If you've experienced insanity, and the worm hole back to sanity, and then made your way through the ruble and regret at the end of it. To just look back at the other side wishing for the life you once loved and worked so hard for, but it't is gone, it's completely different. It feels black and red and grey and bumpy and torn and sore and empty and too much all at the same time I guess. It's incredible how destructive and PAINFUL a "mental illness" can be on your life. I don't believe there's any other illness that compares to bipolar. Not that we're special in a lucky way by any means, thats for-sure, our experience is definitely very unique in such an unlucky way. I'm so glad your channel is around, it has brought me so much comfort. I listen to your videos as I go about my day and they bring me so much comfort. Sorry to use your comment section as a form of expressive therapy I guess lol, but I just have so much to say in expressing my gratitude for your sharing, and for finding your channel in my desperation to just feel better, or at least different from how I've felt after my episode. I'll wrap it up because I'd be tired of reading if I were you. It would mean the world to me to discuss with you on a personal level. I look up to you a lot, thank you girl!! Keep doing you and staying well. I'm glad you've found medication that works for you. Absolutely nothing but love and light your way, I hope life just keeps blessing you with all the goodness you deserve!

@BipolarPerson

Жыл бұрын

Please don't ever delete this comment, I will cherish it forever and keep it as a reminder to love myself and keep doing this scary thing called youtube. Yes, you can find me on instagram @1reveinfini and I would love to be friends! ❤️ Thank you so much, this brought tears to my eyes. 🥰

@tonymedina6493

Жыл бұрын

I completely agree!

@arslanbhatti99

11 ай бұрын

I fully understand the situation. I had not much idea about the illness effects. But I can see your manic stories in my ex wife life. I never took her stuff personal. Unfortunately in her manic she took behind my back to her family. She always thought I was doing cheating and controlling. They believed her. Never accepted her sickness and they made her to Break the marriage in her manic. I was helpless

Thank you so much for sharing. You are so brave!! And I appreciate your sharing from your perspective.

You’re so strong for sharing your story with us. I know she’s looking down from heaven on you giving you her love and support. 💛

Thank you so much for this testimony! I wish I didn't understand what you are talking about in this video that well.

Thank you for sharing 💜🙌. I’m glad your husband was there for you.

❤You are such a strong Soul... Words are not enough. We are so glad that you did not give up on yourself and even more grateful to hear you tell your story. The strongest Souls have the toughest tasks. You are here to raise the worlds consciousness. Thru your voice, you will save and help a lot of people. God bless you. 💖💖💖💖

You’re a survivor and the light for others. I wish I only found your videos sooner. Again thanks for sharing

@BipolarPerson

Жыл бұрын

I try, thank you. ❤️

Wow. You are a survivor. Others will never understand how strong you are especially during difficult times.

Thank you for sharing your story. This is helping me understand my daughter's bipolar and psychotic episodes.

you are an inspiration , & your experiences have unlocked compassion in you that only few humans can demonstrate . thank you sincerely .

@BipolarPerson

Жыл бұрын

I love that you are still here with me!!! Thank you! ❤️

Appreciate you sharing your story ❤ Your husband seems like a great guy as well!

Thank you for sharing. You are super strong.

Thank you for your honesty Its ok to cry when sharing about all the trauma you experienced It takes alot of coursge to share your story and having sadness and compassion for yourself is good. Thank you for bringing awareness and truth Bless you

@BipolarPerson

Жыл бұрын

Thank you your love and compassion. ❤️

Thank you for being transparent and open about your experiences ♥️ Honestly this is such a scary topic to talk about especially considering the delusions people can experience during psychosis. That fear makes me not want to talk about my experiences but I feel like it provides important insight into why someone might be acting erratic or appearing like they’re on drugs. So they can actually get the help they need instead of wandering around and exacerbating their condition. It’s honestly terrifying and I feel so sorry hearing about your harrowing journey and just how long it took for you to finally receive help but I’m just happy knowing it worked out for you in the end and that you have a husband who supports you. The people in your life who can recognize the little changes in their loved ones truly are invaluable lifelines to those prone to psychotic episodes. Lastly, from one bipolar person to another, thank you for educating and spreading awareness on the bipolar person’s experience! It is instrumental in helping those who are struggling with the illness as well as their friends and family 🤍

@BipolarPerson

Жыл бұрын

Thank you for this, it means a lot. ❤️

Stephanie, thank you so much for your bravery and authenticity. This video is amazing and has helped me more than any other video. ❤

@BipolarPerson

2 ай бұрын

❤️ Thank you. 💕

Thank you for sharing all of this. Your story has really helped me understand more about my friend who is currently psychotic and is saying hurtful and angry things to me. Thank you for telling us to not listen. I’m so sorry for what you went through.

@BipolarPerson

4 ай бұрын

❤️💕 I hope you friend gets better soon. Thank you.

Thank you for your bravery in sharing this. I'm sorry for the hardships you've faced. My bipolar highs ramp up incredibly quickly and always end up with my thinking that I'm god. Fortunately I have always been around those who detected it and were able to get me to a hospital (on 3 occasions). I had a manic/psychotic episode in mid April and am currently going through a nasty depression. Thanks again for sharing. It's helpful knowing we're not alone ❤

@BipolarPerson

Жыл бұрын

I'm sorry that sucks!!! I hope it passes soon. Me too because Freddy died April 6th and I was in the psych hospital on the 10th my birthday! Thank goodness everyone else can see it! I had no idea. I've had the savior delusions too. Fun times.

Thank you. I am so sorry for your pain and what you experienced before treatment. This was helpful to me as I have a loved one with bipolar 1 and refuses treatment at this time. You are brave and beautiful and may you be blessed for sharing and raising awareness.

@BipolarPerson

Жыл бұрын

Thank you. I hope they get better soon.

This is a heart breaking storie..God bless you.

I admire your desire to use your very difficult experience to help family and friends understand our loved ones living with bipolar 1...thank you...and wishing you the very best!!❤

@BipolarPerson

6 ай бұрын

Thank you for your kindness and support. ❤️

I'm sorry for your pain and your husbands pain. My heart goes out to the both of you as well as your parents Stay strong and continue addressing your past trauma one day at a time. It's uncomfortable but it'll help you. My heart broke finding out that you cheated on your husband. You owe it to him to stop identifying with bipolar and hold the bull by its horns and tackle whats ruining your life. It bothers me tremendously that when individuals cheat or harm others they excuse their actions on their past trauma or a mental condition. I appreciate that with you, you dont excuse your actions. Accountability of oneself is the start. It also broke my heart that during episodes you belived you parents were together. Stay grounded and have faith and trust in God. A God that we cannot comprehend his merciful love.

@BipolarPerson

5 күн бұрын

Thank you so much for your kindness. I'm really lucky to still have my husband he helped me save my life. All the bad stuff happened prior to being on medication and receiving my diagnosis. I'm on Lamictal now and I do have some hard days but nothing like what happened before. When I witnessed my dog brutally run over by a car a year ago I started to slip into psychosis but because I was on medication I had enough time to commit myself to a hospital before it got dangerous. My life is pretty good now but I do have family trauma that seems impossible to heal from. ❤️ Thank you for your support.

I thank you for sharing this ever so personal journey. I thank you for the insight you have offered. A man in my life had similar experiences while in psychosis but won’t talk about it. You are a brave, string woman and I admire you so much. This video has opened my eyes to things I saw but didn’t understand. God bless you💕🙏🏻

@BipolarPerson

5 ай бұрын

Thank you for your love and support. I'm so glad to help. ❤️

Hearing you share your experiences, is like listening to my daughter, who has a similar diagnosis. I have enrolled in an online class through NAMI to learn more about MI and how to support our loved ones and ourselves. Thank you for your authenticity as you grapple in the struggle of your life with this disease.

@BipolarPerson

11 ай бұрын

Hi! Thank you, your daughter is so fortunate to have you. ❤️ Sending you both hope, healing and positive vibes.

Thank you for this. I'm a friend of a woman who is hospitalized right now, her second episode that I've been her friend through. You've taught me so much. She too is now at a place of homelessness so will have to figure out what to do about that before she gets out. Luckily we were able to put her things in storage and another friend has her car so she hasn't lost everything. She on the same med that you are and they've upped her dose so hopefully she'll be back with us soon. Like you, she's a beautiful person.

@BipolarPerson

3 ай бұрын

Awe thank you, you are a beautiful person!! People like you are the ones who give us hope for real friends because it's of course hard to keep them. My friend is in psychosis right now too, so I feel your helplessness but if she's on medication she's one step ahead of a lot of us so that is amazing. I'm on lamictal (mood stabilizater) but that one is mostly for maintenance the euthymic state (where we aren't having severe symptoms). When I got sick last year my doctor had to add an antipsychotic (Geodon) I'm still on it and trying to get off of it because it was only supposed to be temporary. I'm learning through my friend that it's basically luck with doctors putting you on the right medication. Your friend is lucky to have you. Thank you. ❤️

First off, I want to tell you that you were right when you said around 28:10 when you said you feel like this is important to people. Last year, I had my first big full-on manic-psychosis episode after being misdiagnosed for like 28 years, probably my whole life. It was around the same time you made this video. And absolutely nobody knew what was going on with me. Not my doctors, not my parents or friends. And I specifically remembered yelling at them, screaming like, "Why don't you understand!?" Finally, after 6 months of being in full-blown psychosis, a new doctor finally saw it and knew exactly what it was. I had her speak to my mom and they both finally understood. So yes. THANK YOU for making this video. It's very important. And thank you for the hope you give.

@BipolarPerson

Ай бұрын

Thank you so much for your support! ❤️

2 videos in, throughout my 8 hour shift driving and picking up compost. Literally trying to exhaust and recycle?! My constantly building manic energy and stress levels. Tears. Love. Triggered in the most comforting way. Spent my 30th birthday in the midst of my first FULL psychotic, manic episode. Homeless in Boston. Thankfully in the summer 😂 You're a beautiful heroine ❤

@BipolarPerson

5 ай бұрын

It's when it steals those milestones from you, that really sucks! I'm so glad you made it through and are here. 😊

Totally breaks my heart to hear your story an your truly an amazing person to share what you’ve been through as it allows us (the people) with mental health conditions to understand we are not alone in all of this an there is strength an understanding in others to encourage us that there is a light at the end of the tunnel to live a much happier healthier life! I was sexually assaulted so your right when u say the predators are out there and for me this led to a heroine addiction but upon getting clean from that evil drug an not being able to cope with flash backs I took 2 overdoses that put me in hospital within a month of each other and it was a further 5 yrs before my formal diagnosis of bipolar came, which then helped in being able to get the right medications an therapy to cope so I totally feel your pain my darling! An I want to say I truly feel sorry for the loss of your mum I couldn’t imagine how that must feel on top of all the other stuff you’ve Been through! You have every right to hold your head high an know the crazy stuff we all do isn’t you it’s the condition! Your a really amazing person to share what u have been through and I’m very greatful to hear your story! P.s the extra strength u spoke off in psychosis comes from your Adrenalin being on a such high for the most part (if that helps to know) sending lots of strength, support an encouragement for your healing! X

@BipolarPerson

Жыл бұрын

🥲Thank you. I'm so glad you made it through and I'm sorry that happened to you. Life is so worth living when we make it out. ❤️

@ChannelleHinds

Жыл бұрын

Thank you for your reply an validation you have no idea how much we all need to hear your story so please don’t ever stop posting as you give us hope! Unfortunately this is such a cruel condition as I lost custody of my son (before my heroin addiction but after my sexual assault) as I was undiagnosed an thought of as unfit to raise him, an in a way loosing him was so much harder to cope with than the sexual assault, but now I fight every day to stay stable on my meds so I can keep the custody I have of my daughter. So honestly it’s (as sad as it is to know what you’ve been through) it’s comforting to know I’m not the only one that’s done crazy stuff or been through hell and made it to the other side (and I mean that in the nicest possible way!) I truly wish your healing continues to go in the right direction AND A REAL BIG THANK YOU FOR GIVING US HOPE x

@ChannelleHinds

Жыл бұрын

P.s to get to sleep I used to ride busses from one end to the other as the motion used to help me drift off wen I was manic plus I felt safe as lots of people so I totally get how hard that is when u can’t sleep and your manic x

@BipolarPerson

Жыл бұрын

I did ride the trolly a few times. But I kept blacking out everywhere. I'm so glad we have medication to help us. It's been such a rough road for you too! It's hard when your illness causes you to lose people and can't imagine how painful it was to lose your son. I'm so glad your daughter is still with you!

Thanks for sharing that, my mom is also bipolar for like 30 years or so and has a full blown mania right now for like 8 months and she is doing quite a lot of what you were doing back then, and, I just don't know how to help her, she is crapping on everything and everything goes to ruin and really don't know how to help her, First I tried talking with her in various way through out the time but she is on her own way and I cannot do anything about it, then just last week I tried with police and an ambulance and as long as she isn't aggressive at all, she doesn't even swear, she is one of the most chilliest person on earth, police/ambulance refuses to do anything about it, but she does exactly like how you did back then, with the most notable exception she is taking money from everybody and lies like crap, and up to this point she had where to come back, and where to sleep , but soon.... she is not gonna have that anymore, she is staying at her mom and she is quite old and sick and she just got hospitalized and ooof , she has such bad relationship with everybody she is gonna sleep on the streets soon and don't know how to bring her back . To me, it seems the best way will be to make her take the current medication, or to get het to hospital , but with meds she also drinks a bottle of wine every day and.... yeah.... with hospital I tried talking and talking or maybe going to her psychiatrist with her but nope, I dunno , there was also an idea to provoke her to be aggressive to get her arrested but that's such a bullshit idea I really don't wanna do it, I would have hoped to find a better way , maybe you could give me some advice ? Thanks, hope you are well , take care

@BipolarPerson

13 күн бұрын

I'm so sorry, you are in an impossible situation. Getting a person to the hospital is so hard. She doesn't know she's sick and actually she might think she's great and everyone else is sick. So many people have been in your exact situation. I have the same thing happening with a friend right now. Even when I got my friend to the hospital the hospital would release her before she was ready. She's been to multiple hospitals and they give her some pills and send her home and she doesn't take them. I wish I had a better answer but you can do everything you can to make sure she is safe. She might end up homeless a lot of us do, the best time to talk to her about treatment is when the cycle passes. The hospital will not take her unless she is a danger to herself or others. If she was telling you that she wanted to harm herself they would take her but I think she has to say it to them too. It's so hard to know what to do, try to stay calm if you can and don't get upset if she says horrible things she is not herself right now and likely doesn't even know what she is saying. I was in an episode for 8 months (my second one) and I came out of it without medical intervention so it's possible she will come out of it soon. If she is using substances it will take longer. Just don't give up hope and shower her with love. I'm so sorry, sending love and healing energy. ❤️

Damn! This woman is off the hook!

I’m so excite find you … someone just like me . Dang. How nice❤ your the first one I can relate to:

@BipolarPerson

11 ай бұрын

Hi!!!! me too!!

I'm so glad you're doing better if you ever want to pray together lmk were going thru the same struggle I know for me God and meds are what's kept me from taking another trip to the psych ward the first one was when I was 19 then the last 2 was 2018 2019 I belive and being on respiradol has helped a lot even though I still get hypo mania.. I'm so sorry for your loss im glad you got to see your mom and spend time with her before she passed

@BipolarPerson

Жыл бұрын

Thank you. ❤️

Thank you for Sharing and I have missed your videos!xoxo

@BipolarPerson

Жыл бұрын

Awe, I'm glad you like them!!

@angieangie9293

Жыл бұрын

@@BipolarPerson Sending lots of xoxo and 💕💕. I can relate to Alot of your videos.

@BipolarPerson

Жыл бұрын

@@angieangie9293 Thank you so much!

@carolethorn3211

Жыл бұрын

Why were you not court ordered to take Depakote or lithium with random u/a's for compliance? Out patient.

@BipolarPerson

Жыл бұрын

@Carole Thorn Hi Carole, thank you for watching and your question. I live in the U.S. (CA) We have private insurance and the law also gives us the "right to refuse treatment." Unless they deem us a danger to ourselves and others they have no legal ground or desire (unless insurance is paying) to keep us in the hospital. Many times they will give us a shot to calm us down and release us after 24 hours and we are still a danger to ourselves and others. In my case, I never gave them my name so of course, insurance doesn't pay for Jane Doe's. Also those are two very specific medications, there are many medications used for Bipolar Disorder and other mental illnesses. I have taken Lithium briefly in the past but when I was hospitalized, I was put on Olanzapine and Abilify. I've never taken Depakote, right now I'm on Lamictal. I've been on a lot of medications and hospitalized at least 10 times but here in the U.S. it is difficult to treat someone who is not willing to receive help and someone that doesn't know they are sick does not want help. There was one time a hospital was able to receive a court order to force medicate me and the only reason that happened is because it was at UCLA and they are a teaching facility for mental illness in addition to a hospital. If you watch the video before this I talk about my first 3 psychotic episodes and the times I was misdiagnosed and my experience with a deadly reaction to one of the medications. It's a hard spot the hospitals are in they want to help but can really only focus on those that are willing to recieve the help. Most of us end up dead or in jail. I was lucky and it was jail for me.

It was my last psychotic episode, thus far. It was a great idea to fly to London with absolutely no place to live and no job. Long story.

@BipolarPerson

Жыл бұрын

Sounds scary! But also..perfectly normal for Bipolar Disorder.

Thanks!

@BipolarPerson

2 ай бұрын

Thank you! ❤️ I really appreciate you! ❤️

I can relate to thinking my mom was trying to poison my food. In addition i would think flickering lights were a sign from god trying to influence my thoughts. Whenever people in public would laugh i thought they were always laughing at me. Crazy stuff. Thanks for sharing.

@BipolarPerson

2 ай бұрын

Thank you for watching! I too felt like everyone was looking at me and talking about me. I'm so glad for medicine.

@curtis6515

2 ай бұрын

@@BipolarPerson Yes medication. I take Olanzapine and I, like you, take Lamictal. They work like magic.

I'm so sorry you've experienced so much trauma. I appreciate you so much for being brave enough to share your story, because it makes me feel less alone in my experience. I don't feel comfortable to comment about my situation. Is there a way I could message you in private?

@BipolarPerson

3 күн бұрын

Hi! Thank you! You can find me on instagram @1reveinfini

@zebraescape

2 күн бұрын

@@BipolarPerson Thank you. I deactivated my instagram, but I'll remember to message you when I get back on.

Its so heartbreaking that nobody was truly helping you i thank God for my husband that he put mental health arrests on me and i was locked up getting ran over lord have mercy its truly his grace youre alive i myself dont know how i survived some of the things this disease has put me thru

@BipolarPerson

Жыл бұрын

My husband tried to help me and helped me as much as I would let him but it's hard here because everything is insurance and it's hard to treat people who refuse. I was hospitalized several times and they would just release me. My husband really saved my life and he helps me still. I feel so fortunate to have him. I'm so glad you are okay now and you have an amazing support system. ❤️

@savedbygrace1939

Жыл бұрын

@@BipolarPerson I think I comment to early on towards the end you would say more about him being there for you. We're blessed I'm glad you do have him as a support system 🥰 maybe California is different then Texas the cops didn't give me a choice took me in the back of a cop car it was like a mental health warrent or something I didn't have a choice.. I'm glad you were able to find the meds that work it took me a while finding what worked but got there too

@BipolarPerson

Жыл бұрын

Oh the cops have taken me but here they typically give you a shot of thorazine to knock you out and then they release you when you get out or if you know the law here you just get on the phone with patient rights. I've sued my way out of mental hospitals. I've been involuntary commited at least 10 times, being high functioning does not help my mania. I finally got help after being arrested and force medicated in jail. Hopefully we will have better laws here soon and more people will be forced to get help. We are sooo fortunate to have a support system so many of us don't.

Hello, congratulations on your video and your channel. It helps many people. I'm bipolar, I also have comorbidities of ADHD. It has been very difficult for me, but it has been a year since I've been well, after I started doing exactly what my psychiatrist and psychologist ask me to do and follow. All of this has changed my life. Yes, it's possible to have a normal life, work, study, and do everything normally, just follow the doctors' advice. May I ask to tell you what makes me feel good and what I do: I see my psychiatrist every month because I use lithium and it needs to be monitored. I see the psychologist who works with me with a cognitive-behavioral approach once a week for 45 minutes. I walk five times a week. I never drink coffee, never drink alcohol, and don't use drugs. This has changed my life. Every day, at 9 p.m., I turn off the TV, cell phones, and go to sleep. I maintain a balanced diet. It's not easy at first, but it's possible, just start. Ask for help. You are very young and beautiful. You are an intelligent person. Don't waste time arguing with negative people. Don't get upset with negative people, it can harm you. Don't let the illness take over you. I know it's difficult, but it's possible to do everything normally. Remember you're not alone. You are magnificent. Hugs from Brazil

@BipolarPerson

2 ай бұрын

Thank you!!!!! Thank you, thank you, thank you! I'm slowly trying to get there. Everything you said is right. I'm trying get off coffee but it's so hard. I also need to go back to therapy. I needed to be reminded. ❤️💕 Thank you so much for your support. ❤️

@jonesilvasilva

2 ай бұрын

@@BipolarPerson I know it's not easy, it's very difficult indeed, but there's one good thing: "IT'S NOT IMPOSSIBLE." Seek out a psychologist and undergo treatment alongside your doctor. Be strong, trust in God and in yourself. I'm here 11,000 kilometers away, in South America - Brazil, and I've watched almost all of your videos. I've concluded that you're a warrior woman, very intelligent, and articulate. So, don't let the illness take over you. The first thing is to accept that we are bipolar and accept what the doctors prescribe for us to take. I know the medications have terrible side effects, but it's better than experiencing mania, hypomania, and other things. Accept the requests your psychologist makes and follow through with what she's asking of you. Distance yourself from people who might lead you astray. Seek help from people who can assist you. In fact, I can speak with you via Zoom or another online platform to share my experience and help you. I'm always ready to help because it's important. As I mentioned, I love coffee (my country, Brazil, has great coffee, sun, and beautiful waterfalls; I live in the center of the country, where there are many forests and greenery), but I DON'T DRINK COFFEE because I know it's not good for me. I used to love having my cold beer, but I HAVEN'T USED ALCOHOL for over 3 years because it harms me and interferes with the medications. So, all of this is difficult, but you need to think about the benefits it brings to you and your life. I'm not sure what support you have in the United States, but seek help. See your doctor, see your psychologist (mine works with cognitive-behavioral therapy, and I believe that works for all bipolars). You are young, beautiful, and also intelligent. "DON'T GIVE CHANCES TO YOUR DISEASE." You are much stronger than you think. Soon, you'll be working and studying. Never give up. Count on me. Hugs from Brazil.

@BipolarPerson

2 ай бұрын

You are so awesome thank you so much! It is so cool to meet people in other countries experiencing the same thing. I am so happy to have a new friend from Brazil!🇧🇷 Since I got on medication 7 years ago things have been so much better I have to always adjust it but I would never go off of it, it saved my life. There are a lot of lifestyle changes I still need to make and I know it will make me feel better. Coffee really is not good for me, I get easily annoyed when I drink it. Your encouragement and advice is very helpful and really makes me see how right you are. Thank you and for your support. ❤️

I feel terrified to be alone too.

this all sounds like jumping timelines

@BipolarPerson

2 ай бұрын

Yeah, time didn't really exist for me in psychosis. It really fascinates me, the delusions are so similar among people who experience it.

your story sounds so much like mine except I have adhd and I have a severe addiction to crack because I need it to feel and function without it I lay in bed and can't move for days sometimes sleep will come and rescue me from the crazy thoughts on repeate in my head and sometimes I lay for hours with the fragmented thoughts running in my brain wanting to get up and move but I cant it's horrible to be this way and unless u r bipolor u won't ever understand what it's like to have no control of yourself

@BipolarPerson

Жыл бұрын

That's hard, I'm sorry. There is help but I've been there I know the drugs in addition to mental illness make it much harder. Just don't give up on you. If I made it back from Hell so can you.

My daughter is going through a manic stage at the moment and is currently in hospital. A lot you’ve spoken about resembles what she has gone through. I wish there was a cure and people could say they once had it but never again! Could you reply with what medication you recommend please. Lastly, big thanks for posting your experiences, they are a massive help to all having to go through this.

@BipolarPerson

11 ай бұрын

I'm sorry 😢 , I hope she gets better soon. The medication is different for everyone, it's really finding a good psychiatrist prescribing the right medications and paying attention to side effects that is most important. I'm currently on Lamictal and temporarily on an antipsychotic because of a recent tradedy but Lamictal is a maintenance medication. Antipsychotics are usually needed to pull someone out of an episode. Everyone is so different so having a psychiatrist who listens to you will help because sometimes it can be a process. I have been on 14 different medications in my life. I hope the process is as easy as possible for you and your daughter. Sending hope and healing vibes. ❤️

@sreno66

11 ай бұрын

Thanks for reply. I was looking at the benefits of going on a Keto diet. It has transformed the lives of people with mental disorders including bi polar. Will send a link below for anyone interested . Thanks again!!

@sreno66

11 ай бұрын

kzread.info/dash/bejne/daNmzdOjgK7NebA.html

@BipolarPerson

11 ай бұрын

I would not advocate for a keto diet as a treatment for mental illness or anything else. It's a variation and works the exact same way as the Atkins diet does Dr.Atkins rose to popularity in the 2000s and then died of a heart attack. I lived until 6 years ago without medication I would not wish that life on anyone. My life since medication has been amazing and I'm grateful to be alive every day. Everyone has a different path but I advocate for medication because it has saved my life and many of my friends. Best of luck! Thank you. ❤️

Sounds so similar to my psychosis walking and walking …. 😢

I relate to everything your saying your making me cry . I hurt everybody and I just sent a long text to my mom saying I’m sorry you don’t deserve my behavior or how I’m acting I can’t control I love you and please don’t judge me cuz this isn’t me this happened to me and I’m trying to seek help . I feel so bad for you . I’ve caused alot of pain in my family and I feel such a burden

@BipolarPerson

Жыл бұрын

😢 I feel the same often. I'm sorry it does get better. It's not your fault I said the same thing to my husband a few weeks ago, that he didn't deserve a wife like me. He said "what do you mean it's not your fault that would be like saying ohhh we are in financial ruin because of your chemotherapy if I had cancer." I had a lot of problems with my family and still do with my brothers but I had to accept my parents the way they are and understand as much of the ptsd I feel from hurting them, I represent pain to them because they have ptsd from being afraid I was going to die. Things do get better there is a lot of support from people like us online. They only hurt because they love you. ❤️

@BipolarPerson

Жыл бұрын

I'm sorry..I know it's hard. It will either run it's course or it will stay forever because that can happen. I doubt that will happen to you but thr longer you are in psychosis the more brain damage you will experience. Bipolar Disorder mania/psychosis causes brain damage. You can call 988 at any time from any phone to speak to someone if you are feeling suicidal. Please trust me the medication works.

@user-mm6wu4hg9l

Жыл бұрын

@@BipolarPerson Will a CT scan show the brain damage ? And dang I didn’t know that it could hurt our brains..

@user-mm6wu4hg9l

Жыл бұрын

@@BipolarPerson I do trust you I’m glad I found your videos !!

@user-mm6wu4hg9l

Жыл бұрын

@@BipolarPerson I’m 30 this happened to me out of nowhere at age 28 . Never had experienced anything before . At first it was anxiety and ptsd. Now it’s a whole different ball game

I’ve had depression and bipolar my whole life but I dealt with it it didn’t bother me as I got older it would only bother me if I was by myself at times I got bit by a tick some time in 2008 and then I start having problems did not find out to I found a Dr that treated Lyme disease it took me to 2021 to I finial,y found out all the problems and how they need to get treated so I need to get off LAMOTRIGINE but it’s so hard I needed this meds a few years ago when I went Manic for 4 or 5 weeks I wanted to go fight every one that’s done me wrong if I did not call my dr and go see her this is right before we got. Shut down because of the pandemic

@BipolarPerson

Жыл бұрын

What you are going through sounds aweful! I didn't know you could have lime disease and not know it!?!? It's wierd...I went camping as a kid and came back with a tick in my ear. They had to flush it out. I think the best thing to do is go to urgent care or the hospital. I know it sucks, I hate going but if you are struggling and need to get off it, it's a strong drug and we have to go off slowly and you might need help with that because of the depression. Also if you ever feel really scared or too depressed you can dial 988 from any phone to talk to someone at the national suicide hotline for free. Your feelings are valid and you should trust yourself but also vocalize your symptoms, always. Please get better soon, I know you will. ❤️

@leehess6335

Жыл бұрын

Lyme disease does attacks the body in so many different ways it’s bin a long ride that seems like will never end waking up every day not knowing how you are gona feel one day to the next

Sup babe! ;) I might just be crazy but I kind of like you! ;)

Did the manic/ psychotic episodes happen even when you were on medication..? does it stop the episodes?

@BipolarPerson

5 күн бұрын

Hi!!! All my episodes of psychosis that I talk about in this video and the other one talking about my first episode happened before I was diagnosed and put on medication. The medication helps significantly and it is meant to stop symptoms of psychosis but it is not full proof. We have to kinda manage our medication with our psychiatrists and sometimes have it adjusted. If a major traumatic event happens and we lose too much sleep we can go into psychosis but the medication is a life saver. Thank you for this question I would like to make a video addressing your question in more detail and I'm hoping to do that today. Thank you for your support. 😁

Wow me too

Stef!

@BipolarPerson

7 ай бұрын

Hi!!!

I just can’t believe how your family let you be in this state and did not intervene. So sad

@BipolarPerson

10 ай бұрын

Hi!!! Thank you for your comment and being here!!! I was really hurt by family but there really wasn't much they could do, I don't think they were emotionally equipped. I'm scary when I'm sick, it hurt them to see me like that. I'm so lucky to have my husband. Bipolar Disorder really rips families appart. Thank you for your support!! ❤️

@Velvetwings9

10 ай бұрын

@@BipolarPerson yes I know. I went trought similar things. At first my family did not believe I have a mentall illness and they were mad at me. They thought that I was just ‘weak’ and hysterical and ‘can’t control myself’ that made a lot of guilt inside me. So it took years for them to realise and believe that it is not me. It is my brain’s illness. Thank you for speaking out!

Have you considered doing the carnivore lifestyle??

@BipolarPerson

2 ай бұрын

Animals are sentient beings they think feel, love and hurt just like us. They remember things, dream, fear, plan, have families and partners, friends, play and have a strong desire to not want to die. We have a choice to cause harm to animals by paying for animal flesh and animal products or we could choose to be kind and eat fruits, grains and seeds from the earth. So no, my ethics would never allow me to consider such a diet. The carnivor diet is also dangerous and not backed by any clinical trials as being beneficial for anything, let alone bipolar. My medication works and I manage my symptoms with medication and since then, my life has been fabulous. There are a lot people on the internet claiming to have solved every health ailment by eating solely meat, they likely are one steak away from a heart attack and none of their claims are backed by any proof. Thank you for your comment, this is a question I haven't gotten yet. ❤️

If she presented as schizophrenic, its not uncommon to have a confused diagnosis. Blaming medical isn't appropriate, since it wasn't an easy call.

Have you researched Ketamine ? ❤

@BipolarPerson

Жыл бұрын

No because it's like $800 per session and my insurance will not pay for that plus it's new and my medication works as long as I monitor it with my psychiatrist.

Sweetheart, your use of the word "humiliation" is closely linked to shame. No shame baby. It is not your fault.

God dammit I hate all the cringy shit I did during mine. At least I didn't have an antisemitic rant like Mel Gibson.

Some bipolar women are beautiful but 80% of marriges fail, why generally because of infedelity. She just got married had an episode (psychosis) and starts a sexual relationship with a stranger. Her husband needs alot of fogiveness, hopefully he believes in Jesus.

@BipolarPerson

Жыл бұрын

My husband loves me and learned about brain disorders when I became ill. He learned about bipolar disorder. One day I became really upset crying and I told him "he deserved someone better" who hadn't done all those things and he said "What are you talking about if you had cancer I wouldn't say "oh we're in financial ruin becauae of your chemo and medical bills, you were sick." My husband is amazing. I appreciate him and know I hurt him deeply. We have known each other for over 20 years. I included this demonstration in The Radio Killed Kamye video but it's good to watch kzread.info/dash/bejne/gIys29afZs7MgLA.html

I hope you divorced that husband of yours. He wasn't even interested in helping you, unforgivable!

@BipolarPerson

2 ай бұрын

Oh no!!! I need to make sure this video doesn't come accross that way. My husband has been amazing. I went into psychosis a few months after our wedding and he tried everything to help me. The only reason he got a restraining order on me was because my delusion was that he had a secret family so I guess I was calling cops on him claiming he was beating me (I don't remember that but I'm sure it happened) So the cops kept coming and they told him that if he didn't get a restraining order on me next time they would arrest him. There was nothing he could do..I was in psychosis (delusional and completely unreachable) even so when I would call him he would come from LA to San Diego to buy me hotel rooms because I demanded it. He truly is amazing and that year I was on the street he went to NAMI meetings and read a book about bipolar called "I'm Not Sick And I Don't Need Help." He never questions what I did when I was sick and is my number one supporter. When I get sad and say stuff like he doesn't deserve me or guilt about the horrible pain I caused him he says "what do you mean?" "That would be like saying oh we're in financial ruin because of all your chemotherapy." He is amazing I'm sorry I wasn't more clear about that in the video. ❤️

Binging on you, life saver you 🫶. Binging on you, water fasting, and 1st classes on birdwatching. I keep my life so simple now a days. And Steph, I'm so f'ckin good with it. I decided that the best for me was estrangement from my family. I need to understand 😪 😫 how this was not my fault. I hear your story, and I need to hear thru you how debilitating our Bipolar 1 and psychosis stories are. Because I forget how hard I had it with absolutely no support. But guess what I am so grateful I was finally given a right diagnosis. What a relief. Medication has very much saved me, and staying sober is fantastic.

@BipolarPerson

Жыл бұрын

You don't realize how hard it is when you are going through it because we're so used to being strong. Family is sooooo freakin hard!! ❤️ Thank you for your support! 😁

u r a bunny girl god is with u all the time and so am i too

u r a rabbit bless u

@BipolarPerson

23 сағат бұрын

Hi!!! I don't know what that means but I was born on Easter Sunday. lol 😀