I'm guessing Scollins wrote the skydiving/balls joke!!

He actually said Silence of the LAMB. One 🐑

@AaronHahnStudios

17 күн бұрын

Correct, I heard that, then said Lambs after that with a drunken slur

@0doVo0

17 күн бұрын

well one of his possible running mates does make it a point to silence and singularize farm animals.

@hallowen

17 күн бұрын

He also said "the late great", despite the fact that neither the character or the actor who played him is dead

@sherinameless1618

17 күн бұрын

Trump can't count past one lamb without falling asleep. In court, at least.

@user-zb7uh2ob1r

17 күн бұрын

My guess is he never saw the movie anyway. He just saw somewhere it got good ratings and that the name of the main character is Hannibal Lechter. He's just making up stuff up he thinks the crowd will respond to.

The brainchip joke was so underrated. 😂😂

@chiguireespacialespecial

17 күн бұрын

mine is working Fine Negroni

Memo, to all dogs: If you hear that Kristi Noem, is coming to your neighborhood... disguise yourselves as pandas!

@stephenbuckley9940

16 күн бұрын

Does she have Crickets' head mounted on a wall in her house as a warning to future dogs she owns?

@vintagelady1

16 күн бұрын

Or as Donald tRUMP.

@SorendeSelbyBowen

16 күн бұрын

@@stephenbuckley9940 Wall of her house? She posts Crickets's head on her gate in front of her lawn to her sidewalk so the dogs in her neighborhood can cower in fear.

@tobeybydabay

14 күн бұрын

It's funny how people raised in cites are so out of touch with the rest of America. Perhaps she should have consulted with an animal behaviorist and put the dog in psychotherapy. 🙄

@SorendeSelbyBowen

14 күн бұрын

@@tobeybydabay Most rural people, in my experience, aren't like Noem. They understand how to keep and train dogs. Most urban and rural people alike are not sociopaths.

The joke about the panda-painted dogs "constantly humping" of course works especially well because of the notorious difficulty of breeding pandas in captivity.

Not sarcasm, I'm so happy that the vibe of Corrections has seeped into the main parts of the show.

@mariavictor4324

17 күн бұрын

Seeped or crept..? A jackal would creep.😌😇

@SugarandSarcasm

17 күн бұрын

@@mariavictor4324shhhh.... if I crouch down, I'm invisible 🫥

@sherinameless1618

17 күн бұрын

"Corrections Vibes," the new cologne from Chanel. It contains notes of sage, rosemary, Lego, jackal, and Negroni.

@chiguireespacialespecial

17 күн бұрын

@@mariavictor4324 Have Jackals always been this creepy?

@davidg3944

17 күн бұрын

@@chiguireespacialespecial We started out as night crawlers, so - - yes.

Trump 100% thinks Hannibal Lecter is a real person.

@Viceroy_Sundercles_III

17 күн бұрын

He also thinks a cannibalistic serial killer is someone to be admired…

@AdrianColley

12 күн бұрын

He heroically defended JFK airport during the Civil War.

Wow, a previous Surprise Inspection joke made it to the monologue! Congrats Scollins

17 күн бұрын

THANK YOU

@Flukiest

17 күн бұрын

Which one was this?

@SunGawdRa

17 күн бұрын

Yeah, that last one had to have been Scollins.

@Glenbard4

17 күн бұрын

Was thinking the same thing!

@sherinameless1618

17 күн бұрын

I think that Scollins has emboldened the other writers to tap into their inner psychopath, and present their own awful jokes to Baze. "Scollins" is now a brand, not a man.

The parachute one was definitely Scollins

@charlesasmith7836

16 күн бұрын

😄👍🏻

This is at least the 3rd time that Trump has brought up how great Hannibal Lecter is. I guess we know what movie Trump recently half watched.

@corvidsRcool

17 күн бұрын

Fell asleep in front of. LOL

@dancepiglover

17 күн бұрын

Before, Trump compared the immigrants from the southern border to Hannibal Lecter. Now he says Lecter was a great man. Which is it, Trump? Do you like the guy or not?

@jpdemer5

16 күн бұрын

No way he has the attention span needed to watch an entire movie. My bet is that he picked up a vague idea of the movie from an Internet post he read recently.

@stephenbuckley9940

16 күн бұрын

He probably thought he was watching a documentary and nodded off before the end.

aaahhhh the Rudy jokes never get old !!

@sanseijedi

17 күн бұрын

You said it!

@dancepiglover

17 күн бұрын

The impression doesn’t even sound like Rudy anymore, but Seth has made it his own and I like it. It’s like how Dana Carvey did Bush Sr. and eventually it didn’t sound like him anymore. But it was still a good fictional version of Bush.

@mtb095

17 күн бұрын

I love the Rudy voice. It is just too on-the-nose with his position as Trump’s MVC

We are entering Week 4 of the Trump "Hush money to adult fim star" Trial; week 3 of Kristi Noem, puppy killer; and week 2 of RFK jr., Brain Worm Eater. What a time to be a comedy writer!

@nanarose8537

17 күн бұрын

You named the madness that facilitates the jokes writing themselves! 😂😂😂

@sanseijedi

17 күн бұрын

But emotionally exhausting for anybody paying attention (not hush money).

@jenniferlastella210

17 күн бұрын

Yeah, because you can’t make this 💩 up! 😂😂😂

@chiguireespacialespecial

17 күн бұрын

they will need deprogramming for sure

Can you explain Ireland's Amazon "you may also regret" in corrections? 😂

@MariaVosa

17 күн бұрын

I did not get that one..

@CollinMcLean

17 күн бұрын

@@MariaVosa My guess it was either a joke about the Irish drinking or the Irish brooding because of how terrible their luck is...

@xenidus

17 күн бұрын

In case it doesn't make it in corrections, it's a joke about Catholic guilt. I. E. Amazon has a "other things you'd enjoy" suggestions area on the web page, but in the Catholic world it would only be "regret" not enjoyment

@CollinMcLean

17 күн бұрын

​@@xenidus Is there any religion that doesn't use guilt to be honest?

@ashtree7213

17 күн бұрын

Jeez didn't get it either... thanks for explaining. Ireland isn't very Catholic anymore, maybe a joke more suited to the 1980s...! This is how I heard that Ireland is finally getting its own amazon page though 😂

Those dogs were in the witness protection program because they saw what happened to Cricket 😅😅😅code name Panda Express 😅😅😅

As a 54 year old man, that "balls already landed" joke hits home... and I'm only half way there, damnit!

@cluvzinfo6856

15 күн бұрын

I hope you are very careful getting in and out of cars!

@PapaVanTwee5

15 күн бұрын

@@cluvzinfo6856 🤣

You're really beating a dead horse with the Kristy noam Jokes.. and a goat, and another horse, and a dog, and another horse.

I really miss the "OR DON'T" at the end of a closer look 😢

@sherinameless1618

17 күн бұрын

Seth is just waiting for us all to beg for the return of the podcast plugs. He is an evil genius, just like the late, great Hannibal Lecter. Seth doesn't eat people, though, because they don't pair well with whatever he sips on Corrections. What is that drink? 😎

@lynnhettrick7588

16 күн бұрын

I miss the “or don’t “ as well!

@rafidog

16 күн бұрын

yeah it was definitely the funniest plug for his podcast (I still never listened to it tho)

"A wonderful man" Jeezuz what a crackpot! "That you may also regret" joke was great!

@dietotaku

17 күн бұрын

gotta admit, i don't get the "may also regret" part... why would irish people regret buying those things?

I felt the call-forward of Kristi at the zoo was funnier than the one of her at the dog show. So, Seth: 1, writers: 0. Kristi: 1 dog, 1 goat, 3 horses.

@xenidus

17 күн бұрын

😂

106 year old balls joke.... gotta be Scollins!

Dogs painted like pandas are so cute that it would have been fine I'd they were honest.

CORRECTION: The face mask on Hannibal keeps him from biting, not from talking. Trump could still violate his gag order while wearing it.

@sanseijedi

17 күн бұрын

But still funny if you picture him trying to nom KFC through it.

@FAB13

17 күн бұрын

So true!

@dancepiglover

17 күн бұрын

At least it would hide most of his face to prevent US from gagging. 🤢

@oldauntzibby4395

16 күн бұрын

They'll never wash the orange color off it.

@TracyAdams-ry2fc

15 күн бұрын

But the orange fruitcake would be hard to understand if I’m remembering Silence of the Lambs 🎥 movie correctly.

Loved your monologue tonight! Thanks for the laughs!! Windsor, Ontario, Canada

Noam refers to the Westminster Dog Show as skeet shooting.

While I’m looking forward to the day Tiny and his cohorts are no longer getting any attention, I will truly miss Seth’s Rudy impression. Gets me every time.

That RFK joke was good, really.

I'm loving these Kristi Noem jokes...

Correction: when Trump said he wouldn't be in the market for long, he was not 78. That was around the 2016 election cycle when the money was paid so he was likely 69/70.

@nomadpurple6154

17 күн бұрын

when he was so young as to still be stunningly attractive !???

@DonVideoGuy007

16 күн бұрын

@@nomadpurple6154 - Exactly ...

@msjamesesq

16 күн бұрын

@@nomadpurple6154 definitely not saying he was ever attractive because he wasn't.

Maybe she was planning to serve Cricket for dinner when she met Kim Jung Un.

@cynthiavanteylingen7922

17 күн бұрын

Or did he mean lamp who knows with trump😂

@peterg5383

17 күн бұрын

fresh material - nice!

@DonVideoGuy007

16 күн бұрын

The staple in the diet of poor North Koreans (90% of the population) is actually grasshoppers and lawn grass. Crickets; considered a delicacy, are eaten on a special Communist State holiday or wedding event... (😏)😂🤣

The parachute joke 🤣🤣

Would someone explain the Amazon in Ireland joke? Thanks.

@sherinameless1618

17 күн бұрын

Irish literature is all about regrets and sorrow. So, instead of showing products you might buy again, Amazon Ireland shows you products you regret buying. At least, that's my take. But I am sleep-deprived and hallucinating.

@lynemac2539

17 күн бұрын

​@sherinameless1618 Your explanation works for me!

The old man's balls touching the ground joke was an Ally Sheedy original if ever I heard one. 🤣

The Kristi Noem jokes hit every time, but they were especially good in this monologue 😝

I think serving a sentence in Federal prison qualifies as being "off the market."

@lynemac2539

17 күн бұрын

Well, it is said that there is al marketplace of sorts inside!

@jpdemer5

16 күн бұрын

@@lynemac2539 We could send him a recipe for "toilet bronzer" so he has some merch to flog. Might make him feel more at home.

Skydiving at 106... His balls had already landed because he's got balls of steel!

Does anyone really think Kristi Noem wouldn't shoot a panda?

@lynemac2539

17 күн бұрын

Definitely if it ate a chicken.

@jpdemer5

17 күн бұрын

She'd give it one chance to retrieve a pheasant . . . and then *_BLAM!_*

@lynemac2539

17 күн бұрын

Wait, they're vegetarian. But she probably hates vegetarians.

@oldauntzibby4395

16 күн бұрын

Don Junior was shooting endangered species on a hunting trip, so I'm sure that NOem would do the same.

@AdrianColley

12 күн бұрын

There's a chance she would mistake it for Kim Jong Un.

The Amazon Ireland joke would have landed better if we knew what you were spoofing. Do they normally say "You may also enjoy...?"

So... the Jackals are gonna take care of the Lecter mask/ gag order bit, right? Oh good.

The panda dogs: cutest scandal ever!😍

Seth Meyers was hilarious tonight

"Buffalo Bill" Trump : It rubs the ORANGE lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again.

@betsiecleworth5853

17 күн бұрын

Oh that's good! that's really good! It's so good I reckon the writers should steal that one for tomorrow

Gotta love it!

I never realized until now how much Seth could look like a panda given the right KISS paint job.

You know Hannibal would dispose Trump too lmao

That last joke landed 🍒 So simple, so funny 🤣

Deze keer extra leuk. This episode was super fun.

Considering Trump's history of not paying his bills, I don't think Rudy would be getting these 20 bucks anytime soon.

The balls joke had to be Scollins.

When Trump said that he wouldn't be long on the market if Melania left him, he wasn't 78 but "only" about 70, and everyone thought he had massive wealth instead of massive debts.

@jpdemer5

17 күн бұрын

No matter. There's no shortage of gold-diggers willing to take on even the most repulsive rich dude . . . just look at Rupert Murdoch.

Rfk jr stated he is considered ' the early bird' well,I believe that,the early Bird gets the Worm 🐛. 🥴

Is there a “sagging balls jokes” Emmy category? ‘Cause you might, just might, beat Oliver for once!

How heavy are those balls?!

@jpdemer5

17 күн бұрын

Bad physics there: they'd fall at the same speed as the rest of the guy, regardless of weight.

I like the fluffy puppies better than the pandas. Oh, THERE'S that Stormy Daniels joke I was looking for...

We know who wrote the humping dog panda joke 🤣

good job Seth and crew

Give peace to America 🙏🙏

I still haven't hear a joke about Noam as a dogcatcher. Maybe being being in the elector for dogcatcher by Hannibal Lector?

You can't recycle Scollins' skydiving joke like that!

The Ireland Amazon joke was SPOT ON!! lol

@cherylboucher4491

17 күн бұрын

That went over my head. Please explain.

@whatever4065

17 күн бұрын

​@cherylboucher4491 The Irish are often seen / portrayed as brooding, thinking about regrets and such. So instead of "Things you might like" it's "Things you might regret".

Wait I need to know what Anthony Hopkins' cat is named!

I honestly thought the clip of Trump talking about Hannibal Lecter was some type of AI shenanigans, not something an actual former president and current presidential frontrunner had said

Ok, the last one landed... And not a moment too soon!

4:00 has to be Scallins. (sp?)

Someone explain the Amazon "you may also regret" joke to me, I didn't get it.

It rubs the ketchup on its skin... or else it goes to court again.

wild guess. Skydiving joke was Scolin?

💙

Weird that the zoo visitors didn't know immediately that those were Chow Chows. They're a Chinese breed, and the black tongues are a dead giveaway!

That sky diving joke is pure gold!

@jpdemer5

17 күн бұрын

If you don't know physics.

@SorendeSelbyBowen

17 күн бұрын

@@jpdemer5 The laws of physics are suspended when telling a joke, but obviously not when hearing a joke: that depends on the listener's sense of humor.

@speculawyer

16 күн бұрын

Recycled Scollins joke.

Speaking about cannibals: Where is Melania?

@peterg5383

17 күн бұрын

I really don't care, do U?

Hannibal Lecter would be a step up from the available VP choices

I think the Irish Amazon joke would have done better if it had made sense?

@jpdemer5

17 күн бұрын

You have to be Irish, or know somebody who is. Or just be literate enough.

@FAB13

17 күн бұрын

​@@jpdemer5 Come on don't be like that

@nomadpurple6154

17 күн бұрын

You have to be aware of American stereotypes of other nationalities.

@FAB13

17 күн бұрын

@@nomadpurple6154 If you're so smart, why don't you explain it to us Americans

@jpdemer5

16 күн бұрын

@@FAB13 Literate: having or showing knowledge of literature, writing, etc.; literary; well-read. If you're familiar with Irish literature, you get the joke.

Correction re Hannibal Lecter: setting aside that, as several people already pointed out, Hannibal's mask did not prevent him from talking, describing Hannibal Lecter as a character played by Anthony Hopkins is a bit odd. Hannibal is originally a book character created by Thomas Harris, and he was portrayed in other media by several different actors. If anything, considering that Trump for some reason called him "late", I'd be more inclined to go with Mads Mikkelsen's portrayal (even though that ending is ambiguous and if season 4 did happen, obviously he'd be alive). Hannibal doesn't die in any of the three movies in which he was portrayed by Hopkins.

@HavelockxXx

17 күн бұрын

Correction to the correction: it's spelled "Lecter".

@bufflinguist

17 күн бұрын

@@HavelockxXx You're right, it's originally spelled Lecter. In 'Manhunter', though, it's spelled Lecktor for some reason, so I think I just merged the two spellings =)

@jpdemer5

16 күн бұрын

The Hannibal Lecter that Trump was yammering about is precisely "a character played by Anthony Hopkins."

You need to have Trump sandwiches available for the people in line for the show: toasted white bread, baloney, spam, Russian dressing and a small mushroom.

@KiloMintoni-kg4kn

17 күн бұрын

Auuugh!!

@SussexSandra

17 күн бұрын

That’s actually quite funny. 😂 You forgot the bit about the Trump after affects. 6 hours later you will be filling your diapers and smelling like Diaper Don.

@BrattyBetty

17 күн бұрын

😜

@KrakenIsland64

17 күн бұрын

That view/subscriber ratio is mf hilarious. People just want to see that near naked 🍑 once and they're done.

@DonVideoGuy007

17 күн бұрын

- Now - that was hilarious, Leanne!

Look at it this way, if Hannibal WAS the VP pick, at least we wouldn't have to listen to trump for long, and we would also get an answer as to whether bronzer makes something taste the way it looks.

@jpdemer5

17 күн бұрын

True: Lecter made a point of dispatching incompetents and a-holes. Funny fact is that Lecter - white, educated, and wealthy - would be the sort of immigrant that Trump says he'll welcome with open arms.

@nomadpurple6154

17 күн бұрын

Yes that long and often asked question .....

Kristi Noem has become a meme. On the plus side, she won't be forgotten anytime soon.

I thought the panda joke slapped

I mean if it's a choice between the puppy killer and Hannibal, I think Hannibal would get more votes.

Landed it😅

It's just another reinforcement that Trump only watches Movies and Never Reads. A long time ago I read the statement:- "You are a sum total of the Books you read & the people you are associated with" .. not sure who said that.

@jpdemer5

17 күн бұрын

That explains how Donnie is such a monstrous jerk.

Kristi Noem Joke Had Me Crying 😂😂😭

Melania will stick around…until the checks start bouncing!

...the panda dogs are much more adorable/likeable - and convincing! - than those fake lion dogs of awhile back...

The lost and found bin😂😂

@Lv-nq9qz

17 күн бұрын

At the port authority bus terminal

@huffore

17 күн бұрын

@@Lv-nq9qz 😂👍

Alright… just call out the writers already! Waiting for corrections is brutal 😂

:45 corrections, Hannibal while being in prison for being a cannibal there is an argument to be made that he was a good ish person because he only ate rude or corrupt people

That lost & found joke is amazing, thanks team

Seth already did that parachute joke about a woman.

Seth, as a jackal, from the bottom of my soul, this was one of the best monologues in the last year!! Congratulations Mike and shoemaker!!!

Noem jokes - woof!

You really have to be Irish to get that joke.

Seth, where the hell is JIIMMY? He told me he was gonna cohost Late Night with you ...

@sherinameless1618

17 күн бұрын

I just watched the videos - must see TV (Or KZread, in this case). Funny stuff. Seth was there too. We learned that he smells okay.

Hannibal Lecter should sue for defamation of character.

@wendydabee

17 күн бұрын

Well, IF Hanibal Lecter was a real person, then yes he could sue for defamation.

what a difference, Hannibal Lecter is intelligent 😉

I believe since he started these were the jokes that got the worse responses.

How many white purse dogs are going to get their hair dyed black in parts, so they too can have the cutest built for portability pandas, like they seen on the news, speaking of which, did we recover from California using up all the Barbie colored pink paint, yet?

Elon is his own neuralink patient.

Correction: the panda joke writer deserves more whatever they get

Trump's thoughts about Melanie? I expected this video to be shorter.

Correction: Due to wind resistance and the affects of terminal velocity his balls would probably have taken longer to hit the ground.. I'm not proud i spent time thinking about this :)