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For cleaning, I sometimes use a timer method. Where I set the timer for 10-15 mins (go as low as you need to) and clean as much as possible, then stop! Guilt free! I usually end up doing more, but this has made easier for me to get started.

@mygirldarby

2 жыл бұрын

Also you can set a timer for 20 minutes where you do whatever you want, watch videos, etc, and when the timer goes off, get up and clean for 10 minutes or as long as you can handle. Then reset and do it again. This has been somewhat helpful for me to get started because I know I only have to do 10 minutes and then can go back to doing something I enjoy for a while. I do several cycles of 20 minutes of fun, 10-15 minutes of cleaning.

@saggguy7

2 жыл бұрын

@@mygirldarby it’s amazing how much can get done in a focused 10 minutes!

@ErnolDawnbringer

2 жыл бұрын

Same

@krista9309

2 жыл бұрын

I live by the “10 minute tidy”. And general “10 minute timer”. I’m pretty convinced I can do almost anything for 10 minutes. And it’s amazing the progress that can be made in a few minutes. Even though before I start, I am almost entirely convinced otherwise and so overwhelmed…

@xornxenophon3652

2 жыл бұрын

That is a great idea! I will put it into practice! Thank you!

I'm struggling at the moment and so 2 nights ago had to choose washing my dishes or washing myself. So I went with have a shower. That was a big step. I struggle with showering at the best of times. The following day my mental state was worse. But I did manage to kind of stack the dirty dishes up. The aim today is to wash those dishes. I have my regular Friday hangout with a friend today. We drink diet coke and talk about how our week has gone. He is a single dad to 4 kids and so always has great stories. I'm kid free. So even though that will happen even if I don't do any housework. I will see it as a reward for doing my dishes.

I don’t have schizophrenia or schizoaffective disorder but this was so good to watch... dealing with serious depression after physical medical negligence and my home is horrifying. I feel absolutely terrible about it and really want to clean and I just find myself ignoring it instead and then going to be, seeing it and hating myself for it. It’s just good to know that this can be a “normal” effect of poor mental health. * I don’t know the words to use about states of mental health in wellness so if “poor mental health” or any other words I chose are hurtful I would appreciate guidance from anyone in the comments or even you Lauren. Thank you for sharing your journey with us.

@michellebastiani6470

2 жыл бұрын

Your experiencing it, so nothing you said was worded wrongfully. Obviously your not going to be rude or mean even though I think alot of us are to ourselves but how you stated everything was just fine. I hope things start to get better for you and I think I know exactly how you feel when it comes to the up keep of your home. I also will look around me too often and hate myself for what I see. I have been living on my own 18 yrs and I was diagnosed with BPD 16 yrs ago. So I have probably been in every type of mood when it comes to cleaning that you can imagine. I truly hope your head gets into a better place soon. It's so tough and sometimes it's actually damn near impossible to do things that people without any mental health issues could ever imagine. I struggle with so much and sometimes just the thought of having to take a shower will put me in a full on anxiety attack. Good luck to you and God bless 🙏💛✌

@theverbind

2 жыл бұрын

Best of luck

@lulazeta8965

Жыл бұрын

@@michellebastiani6470 Thanks for sharing. We benefit b/c we can be better people when we interact with friends that may have depression or other similar problem. This topic of house maintenance HITS WOMEN HARD. In America men marry their wife/housekeeper/employee elsewhere. Many countries abroad, even middle income class, hire maids and that way wives can attend school, achieve careers in medicine, politics, law, etc. There needs to be a change in the structure of jobs and gender.

So true how our environment has an effect on our mental health. It is a vicious circle, my house is a mess because I’m depressed, I’m depressed because my house is a mess. One task at a time lovelies! Have a wonderful day 🥰

@DEBSCULLY01

2 жыл бұрын

Exactly, been struggling with my house for years. I hate it but the depression makes it so hard to do more than just what has to be done. It seems huge if I look at every room and closet..When I lived with my parents, I kept my one room and bathroom clean. I married had a child and even this small house has become horrible. Plus my husband passed away in 2014 so I have no help.

When I feel happy and motivated, my house is clean and orderly. When I am depressed, my home reflects it. There are piles of papers and mountains of laundry. The dishes need to be washed and it's all so overwhelming. Some people actually clean their home when they feel bad to brighten their mood, but this does not work for me. My home is a reflection of my current emotional state.

Your baby is so cute omg

This is absolutely true! I started cleaning every day and it made my lowest not so low. The cats like the space more and I find myself enyoing spending my time in my house.

Having kids made clutter a thing in my life for their entire childhood. There's a hoarding gene in the family, and I can only function in a minimalist environment. The less things I have, the better I feel. I like open space. Clutter closes my space and hinders creativity. I am trying to undo 20 years of this right now. My one son is close to being independent. It kinda feels like a pause button was pressed on my life until now. I've only functioned for the kids (one's very medically involved, the other needs mental assistance/guidance). It's been very hard to think in my environment. With every item I toss out or organize, my head feels a little clearer. I need this like I need air, water and sleep lol! I can't believe the baby's 10 months already.

I'm so grateful for videos like this because I have alot of things in common with you, such as the mess issue, feelings about medications etc. The videos show me I'm not the only one. I'm not alone. It's priceless to me. Thank you 💜💜💜💜

Just let me tell you: the parts of my home where it usually falls to me to clean up are MUCH messier, and it's only two adults and a dog. I was tempted to put a smile emoji right now, but I realized it's not something to really smile about because it shows how much I struggle. The longer I let it go on, the less I feel able to clean it because stuff accumulates faster than I can think of where to put it, and it's obstructing my remaining ability to think. That being said, I can't declutter EVERYTHING - I feel safest when most of my home is clean and orderly, but I have everything I need on my desk at hand. Which might not sound like much, but keeping in mind how much I do at my desk (computer stuff, drawing, studying, knitting, crocheting....) it is actually a lot. So my desk is a complete mess. I clean it, but I declutter only every so often, because knowing where everything is feels like a safe haven to sit down to.

@mygirldarby

2 жыл бұрын

It sounds like we are living identical lives. It's the exact same for me. And there's only my husband and a dog living here too. My mom died a little over a year ago and it has left me very depressed. Junk piles up incredibly fast here too. Laundry is also a nightmare. Once I finally do a few loads I just can't bring myself to put it all away, so the hamper is full...and that creates a dirty laundry pile because there's nowhere to put the dirty clothes. It's so frustrating. No matter how hard I try to change, I just can't right now. My husband is not thrilled by this turn of events either, but he tries to be supportive. It's really awful. I know how you feel about having everything at arm's reach too. I'm the same way and as a result, my desk area is always piled with things I use. I don't like all my frequently used things to be put away in drawers. I like to be able to see that it's all there.

@junimondify

2 жыл бұрын

@@mygirldarby So sorry to hear about your mom! I hope you find a way to cope somehow... Thankfully, my parents are still alive and just a few minutes' walk away from me, too. I am very blessed to have such a supportive family. Fortunately, laundry is something my husband and I do together. We have different hampers, so sorting is rather easy because it is all done as soon as the dirty clothes are taken off. For socks we have special rings that can be put on a pair of socks when you take them off, they can stay one in the washer and dryer- no more single socks after washing, I find that is the most trying thing to sort as most of both of our socks are black. He washes and dries it, I fold it and put it away. Well, I mostly do - but sometimes there is a huge pile of fresh laundry and I just take from that pile over the week until it's time to wash again... It's weird but kind of reassuring that I am not the only one that likes to have things on hand, like, really just an arm's reach away. I do have piles on my desk, but at least I manage to know where my stuff is. I know "I used xyz about five days ago, so it is this deep in that pile". Every time I declutter, people say "Oh look, isn't this a much nicer desk now?" and all I can think is "NO! Help, I feel as empty as my desk looks". Caring for my dog can be difficult sometimes as well, but she is an angel and seems to know when I am not doing well, so it is totally worth the effort and sometimes stress.

I totally relate to cluttered space, cluttered mind.

im really happy that you are showing the real state of your home . I have a very hard time with clutter / cleaning . I get very overwhelmed and that gets depression and/or high-mania . It all seems like /// so much /// and it does affect me on a mental level . I am just happy to finally see that I am not alone when it comes to this . Seeing this helps me learn and gives me those motivation sparks to work step by step to better my area . Much love 💗💗💗 *paranoid schizophrenic if anyone was curious

I’m very deeply affected by my environment! I am also overly obsessed with cleaning so my home tends to be over the top clean and neat. It gets really bad when I’m manic. I just can’t stop cleaning, but that’s part of my illness. When I get into a deep depressive state, then things change.

A real home in reality. Thanks for showing me that I'm not the only who struggles so bad...

I love this video, it showed the reality of how difficult to maintain a clean environment. I feel less frustrated and let's do our own clean-up and keep it as a habit! Love you, Laura! Your baby is so beautiful!

Yes, I have the same problem, and then I am overwhelmed. That's why I have helpers. Another problem that I have is figuring out which books to use for the day and other activities. I'll end up talking to the oven and asking it questions. I also like to switch up my apartment. Also, I have to have light paint on the walls, and I like lots of light. I don't like dark floors either. I have SAD boxes to help, too.

I think it's really brave of you to do a house tour when it's not looking at it's best. I had a slight hoarding issue it my late teens and early twenties. if someone was going to come over I would clean for days or pull a all nighter and hide things. Now in my late 30's if my house does not look perfect I have ridiculous self shame. I will apologize to my husband if the bed is not made, despite him telling me countless times he doesn't care.

Thank you so much for your honesty and vulnerability. Most times, my house looks like a disaster. I warn my kids that if they see the house falling apart, my mental health is on a downturn.

It definitely took a lot to get to a place where I had the motivation to wake up, make the bed, make sure everything is clean... but it feels so much better, and now I enjoy keeping things tidy (and the positive environment that creates)

It's absolutely self-care! I hadn't thought of it that way! With depression/anxiety and OCD, I feel extra sensitive to clutter since my mind is already overstimulated. Thanks for sharing your vulnerability. I don't feel so alone. :)

I was just talking to my therapist today about decluttering. Decluttering and minimalization. Specifically how it affects my mental health. As above so below. As without so within. If my environment is decluttered my mind well have an easier time remaining decluttered.

Gorgeous family, thanks for sharing your journey.

Lauren and Rob, your home is beautiful. My home, the dirt laughs at you and my home spaces are disarray. My husband and I are tinkering with the mess. God bless . love you and your family. bye

For people struggling with their home I would just like to say, it’s ok to ask for and accept help. I used to be a perfectionist so wanted everything perfect not always possible start with the basic and do a little each day with someone if possible. X🌺🌺🌺

These are great strategies! Something I have learned is that there always seems to be one thing that feels like a roadblock, something that makes the number of things that need to be done insurmountable. For me, if company is coming, if I clean my stove top and burner pans, for some reason it all becomes doable. One of my daughters will set a lovely table, and that gets her in the cleaning zone. It sounds like laundry is your obstacle to overcome. I guess it might be a different for everyone, but it is worth trying to find out! You're awesome, keep up the great work!

My plates and cups have not been washed for days. This video makes me realise that I can get into the habit of cleaning again. Thanks Lauren ❤

@shadowperson2856

2 жыл бұрын

Oof I sometimes need a reminder that I need to clean dishes I can see a big pile of them and not make the connection I should clean them executive disfunction (I think that's what it's called) is sooooo annoying

I’m diagnosed with schizoaffective as well. Being clean can definitely be challenging. I had a messy room for a couple years until my family helped me clean it up. Now it’s a lot less messy with books and Knick knacks strewn all over the floor. I actually keep my room in my apartment as clean as possible and the apartment itself now. Thanks for shedding light on this important topic! Much love and luck to you!

I hired a person to come clean the house once every two weeks and it's the best $140 I spend. I still clean in between, do laundry, fold clothes, wash dishes and clean the kitchen, but the fact I have someone helping me with the overall cleaning of the house has given me such a peace of mind, motivation to keep it clean and has given me time to focus on the priorities of my life (work, professional growth, marriage, work out, and friends)

Just this morning, my counselor challenged me to continue working on my room, even though it is hard. I really needed this video and I appreciate all the tips in the comments as well.

100%! It's amazing how good cleaning your space can be for your mental health. A clean space cleans your mind😌

Totally related. I can sense I’m spiraling down when my house starts to get messy

I agree that an ordered environment makes me feel more ordered mentally. Btw, seeing you with your smiling child and Rob really made me feel happy this morning.

Lauren, hun! You are doing great! I wish you could get a house keeper. That could really support you.🥰

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU for having the courage to start this channel. I often think you are reading my mind, but then I remember you are taking on subjects not usually brought out of the dark… Thank you for the light. Man, I NEEDED that light! ♥️

I appreciate your Video so much. Love how you & Rob work together This is Very brave of you to share your home! Always remember you have active young children and that is a lot to Contend with I like your suggestions And remember take one day day at a time as well as one room. Your children are most important as they will be little for such a short time. So Proud of you both!!

Thank you for being so amazing and real. 🙏💖💖💖

Thank you for this marvellous film. I love your mess. What a wonderful family. A sight for my sore eyes. I didn't see a family in the past 12 years. A peek to the ordinary world. I can't make my way to the ordinary world.

I have an inability to walk linger than 20-25 feet before I get dizzy or shakes and collapse or pass out. I've started physical therapy but can't do any more than this So far - and of course no bending picking stuff up or any cleaning that requires exertion. I'm very excited that I was able with the help if my husband to get a small corner of my son's play area organized so that it's functional and easy to get to. I keep doing a little bit at a time. I'm thankful you put this video up. I have some mental difficulties too. So it's nice to get tips💕

You are a great family whom I truly find inspiring… and REAL!! keep on keeping on ❤️

I find cleaning as I go around my house grounding and centering. Also my kids are older it’s way easier now. When I had babies it was exhausting and hard. I found a lot of joy in mrs meyers sprays, they are amazing! I have cleaning products everywhere. When I’m pouring a bath, time for quick bathroom wipe down, waiting for coffee quick vaccum, laundry for the two of us, no problem- it was hard when all kids were little. As soon as I wake up bed is made. Every item has a place. Idk holds up real well under deep depressive episodes

Thank you,. I totally relate. It is just myself. My struggle is long term organization. I am on very low income, so anxiety over thinking and then defeat kicks in.

interesting view on your life! thanks for the videos i wish your family the best

great video.nice place.

I’m smiling sweetly at this video cuz I can relate I like how u said just use a whole jug of vinegar cuz that gets it done it really does even tho it stinks everything is shiny

Thanks for being so open and so honest. We all live with clutter but no one wants to show it

I totally totally agree!! Decluttering and keeping house clean has helped me with depression and anxiety immensely

My house always looks how I feel. Thank you for sharing.

Okay, I'm going to go clean my kitchen. Thanks for the motivation. I think having a mental illness and lacking the motivation to clean/shower is something that's not really discussed.

I like your shirt Lauren! Your house is so nice, too! Seems like a very comfortable home.

My daughter wants to be friends 😘 BEAUTIFUL FAMILY!!!!!!

Thank you so much for sharing. My 24-year old son is living with schizophrenia and your videos help me understand him. I really appreciate you all! Thank you again for helping me do understand.

Thank you for your gentle spirit. You are courageous

My daughter has bipolar and when she’s manic she starts disinfecting and organizing but takes her all day and never finishes. She jumps from one room to another. And when she finally gets something done it doesn’t lasts. She’s obsessed with cleaning and uses so much supplies. She stays up all night cleaning

@shadowperson2856

2 жыл бұрын

Damn if that wasn't because of a severe mental disorder I would make a joke about having your own personal cleaner but I won't since I'm not that insensitive considering I myself have Borderline Personality Disorder (and maybe some sort of psychotic disorder idk currently doing my homework on that) I know what it's like kinda to do something impulsive like that except my impulsive is more... Kinda hurtful but I guess what your daughter does could be hurtful overuse of cleaning chemicals can damage the skin which is why you should always wear rubber gloves while using chemicals but anyway I hope your daughter is getting the help she needs and is happy and healthy

@rachelmarie2313

2 жыл бұрын

Does she also throw stuff away ? Spartanism is a condition opposite of a Hoarder. I believe I have this.

It's one of those vicious cycle things for me. When my mind is chaotic and unbalanced I tend to becone lax with chores, and then of course having to catch up with them can be stressful and stress makes my mind feel disordered. Luckily I have a supportive spouse, and he helps motivate me and organize the house, which in turn helps me organize my mind. Thank you for the helpful tips. Your little one is so sweet! :)

I would love even more videos like this... general home management with struggling mental health

Never not liking your videos. Always loving them! Thank you so much for the value in the content you share, it is priceless

You know Lauren, I don’t have any mental disorder, no depression, anxiety. Maybe some deficit of attention but never diagnosed. But all your videos helps me so much and I see that I have same feelings and like this video I can relate 100%. I do know with a mental disorder everything is more intense but just to you and people suffering one of the disorders to know, we without it, feel a lot of things like you describe. I imagine most be way more intense to you. I love your videos!

I’m so glad I’m not the only one who struggle with doing simple daily stuff.

Beautiful work Lauren! (Vaseline is magic for healing those little fingernail scratches on the baby's face. Smear a tiny bit of vaseline on the red scratch... and then again a few hours later... and its gone in one day... with no scabbing. Its great for wind-burned or chapped baby cheeks too.)

This is very true for me too. I need order to feel better.

I absolutely love that you shared this. My house is the same! I imagine also, if I lived up there and had been under the restrictions you have, my house would be so much worse than it is right now (and it's really not that good!). I totally understand! Love, from Atlanta, GA

Hang in there dear. The love of my life has schizophrenia and he lives in a small place. He too feels its easier to keep things cleaned and picked up so his mental health is ok

Thank you for sharing this! I have chronic severe depression and live in an unbearably cluttered tiny 500 sqft apartment. Probably 2 levels down from what you see in those hoarder shows. Your "messy" home is my #homegoals. I have to admit, I got a bit of anxiety when you started sharing the tips, so I had to stop watching. This struggle is such a sore point for me right now. When I'm a bit calmer I will finish this video since this is such an important thing to overcome. Getting out of bed is usually the win for the day which makes it all feel even more depressing. One day I will get my energy up and clean a bit. I want to so badly but can't seem to gather enough strength or motivation to even try. Thank you again for sharing.

Oh your son is beautiful!! So nice to catch a glimpse of him 🥰

Thank you showing this Lauren I’m working so hard to be clean but I struggle with it

When I went through the first year of living in what what was called a satellite house, after I was first diagnosed with schizo affective disorder, the quality of life for my housemates and myself was.so poor that we could not keep up with cleanup, especially in the kitchen, and needed help from outside staff to keep up. At one point, after cooking meat in a pan, we left the pan in the kitchen for so long that maggots grew in the pan before we got help cleaning it. Scary levels of uncleanliness that reflected the quality of our lives at that point. Things have improved dramatically now in the areas of cleanliness. Cleanliness has now become simple. Takes effort, but simple Wouldn't have alott to turn to without your videos Lauren on our continuing journies to use the gifts we were given that were hidden in our mental illness, as our illness heals and as we overcome them revealing these gifts to be used in the world for the sake of other people. You lead out front Lauren. I have gotten a jump start on where to start with my contribution to the world of mental health from watching you..Looking forward to your next groundbreaking video.

Okay, your home looks like a place that is LIVED in. If one was obsessed with keeping a place clean, that could also be a harmful coping mechanism. However, I get the anxiety that comes with having a cluttered (or even messy) place. Lately, I've been more into cleaning and organizing, partially to try and help my memory in terms of finding things.

Nice place. I love your choice furniture and the flower.

What a great video. Very inspiring. You have a beautiful family too.😊

The state of my enviornment impact my mind and the state of my mind impact my environment ,sometimes I just can't clean because my mind is everywhere

I don't know if she mentioned sweepy, but I highly recommend this app for cleaning! It is amazing! Edit: She didn't mention it

Thank you for sharing your story. It looks great for a family with kids! You're awesome and sweet and don't sweat the small things because these years will go by fast. Enjoy the moment of sharing and making special memories!

My sleepiness was gone all day. My medicine usually makes me always tired. Why not do a video on sleep disorders and schizophrenia?

My 30 y.o. daughter with schizoaffective has always had trouble with keeping a clean home. I don't know how much it would impact her mindset as to being opposed as a reflection of her mindset. My house is messy but I live alone and have no visitors, decades of living in the same place, collecting too much "stuff". A lack of motivation.

I’m enjoying your channel. Thank you for sharing your life with us. ☺️

Thank you for sharing your home and family with us. 🥰 I don't have any formal diagnosis, but I've experienced a lot of depression, anxiety and flux states of mental disarray, and when my personal space is messy, everything feels worse for me, as well. When it's cleaner, the difference in how I feel not just about my space but about myself is striking. And I've used one of those mops before - it's amazing! 😂👍🏼

I have the same kind of issues... I have CPTSD and GAD but I feel so much better when I'm in a clean and organized environment

It’s dope watching you get more comfortable behind the camera keep it going cutie

This helped to hear on my healing journey so far. That God, can give a new build to mind.

You are absolutely correct Lauren. As a method to survive getting much better from Schizophrenia and now having to find a job when I have zero cred or a resume I decided to clean houses for a living. Fifty percent of the people I clean for need me for their mental health the other 50 percent need me because they are now getting quite elderly.

I absolutely loved this video! This my reality! Thank you Lauren for being you, and your husband Rob for such great support about your condition. Once upon a time I could navigate cleaning my home now I’m not so good at it but I do worry because I have a very super supportive partner that helps me on a daily basis with keeping my home respectable. I’m so inspired thank you. 🙏🏽💗❤️❤️❤️

My house is always a mess. I used to be very tidy when I was a teenager, but everything is a wreck now. My partner has a lot of stuff too, so it's just clutter everywhere.

I cannot thank you enough for this.

if you dont mind me asking, how do you balance work/school/life? your website says youve gone back to school to work on a masters but youre also mom to a newborn. you do it all!!! i live alone but work a 9-5 and go to school so its very hard to find the time to maintain my space & cook.

Omgoodness your baby boy is so precious.

At some point years ago, I decided to keep things tidy and I have succeeded for the most part. Tidying and spot cleaning makes it much easier when its time for the deep clean. Uncluttering my home did have a strange effect on my illness. My hallucinations are much fewer when things are put away. I used to have strange hallucinations like ice in the toilet and razor wire rolled up in the hallway between my bed and the bathroom. Those are pretty much gone. I do have 'elevator music' occasionally a non-existent person calling me from the other side of the house so cleaning is not a cure....that's what all the anti--psycotics are for!

You're so right. I feel the same way. I love keeping my apartment clean and tidy because it makes me feel so at peace to come home to a clean, beautiful space. Also waking up to it. My mind is such a crowded space, and being outside is so exhausting... it's so nice to know I have an organized and homey space to look forward to. Thank you so much for sharing this with us. Also, The Little Prince is such a good book ♡

I totally struggle in this way, too. Thank you for sharing!

Love 🤩💟 the work. I am having this woman I have lived with for a few years move out of my share house. I'm pretty excited about it. We fell out as friends but the thing is she's a bit of a Horder and it stressed me out. I have 3 other housemates and everyone else is clean so it will be so good to get back to that. Not perfect but, trying.

I use the "Fly Lady system" for cleaning. It is very helpful because it makes you clean the whole house in baby steps. I used to clean every weekend and it was exhausting. Now I clean for just 15 minutes every day with a timer and get the job done. My house is clean and it takes less effort.

Messy.Yes. But to me it looks clean, safe and lived in by a busy loving family. Please don’t stress!

When I was getting out of the military, I lost the ability to clean at all. What do I mean by this? It means that my intense anxiety made it impossible for me to focus on tasks. I would start moving around randomly. I know my battle buddies in Virginia disliked it, but they were forced to clean my room. They said I was like a child, which was especially true then. I'm not my age. I'm not like "that" anymore. Sometimes, I'd get to the point where I'd throw my entire apartment, everything, away and start over. I don't know about your home life growing up, but our house was very messy. I remember walking around in the basement and having to wade through toys with the TV blasting static. It looked like a plane crash.

Awesome life affirmer as always

You have a lovely house!

i can relate to this. Right now im in the process of Throwing Things i dont need away,Donating clothes and selling things.

Interesting. Thanks for the upload

Thanks Lauren you found your purpose ❤️

I need to clean up right now, so this video came at the perfect time! Even though I’m seeing it a few months late.

This was great