Loneliness is causing our physical and mental health to suffer | DW News
Everyone is lonely at times. But chronic loneliness can make you sick. Earlier this month, US surgeon general shone a light on the problems associated with loneliness by declaring it an American epidemic. He said the growing isolation in society poses a health risk as deadly as smoking. In an 80-page report Doctor Vivek Murthy said: "We now know that loneliness is a common feeling that many people experience. It's like hunger or thirst. ItLoneliness as dangerous as smokings a feeling the body sends us when something we need for survival is missing."
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#loneliness #depression
Пікірлер: 1 100
I’m in my 50s. I have no family, no close friends, no kids, and no love. If I were to disappear tomorrow only the bill collectors would notice.
@deanosaur808
Жыл бұрын
Chin up. if you die alone, someone will eventually notice! Sad but true 😅
@HShango
Жыл бұрын
It just means another human being will be born and replace you. That's it.
@bengalibunny9531
Жыл бұрын
@silvermica Have you tried developing friends through hobbies? Please try and do something ❤
@silvermica
Жыл бұрын
@@bengalibunny9531 I'm a musician. I just came back from gig today.
@bengalibunny9531
Жыл бұрын
@@silvermica Well that’s good, you do have a lot of opportunities around you. Being a musician sounds really cool. I’m sure you will find connections sooner rather than later, don’t be afraid of rejection and keep going (same for me by the way and I’m just a boring central government employee lol) 😊🐰
We are forced to spend the vast majority of our days working to support ourselves. How on earth do we have time or ENERGY to have social relationships?!
@angelatrampels1385
4 ай бұрын
Exactly!!!
@Prodigious1One
4 ай бұрын
Yeah, I guess that we can at work.
@cgygflkj
4 ай бұрын
That's what shes saying, that the welath gaps and late stage capitalism are what made this disconnect in the first place.
@dnguyen787
4 ай бұрын
@@cgygflkj Are you happy in Cuba or North Korea? LOL
@Dave-ru8un
4 ай бұрын
People used to work longer hours in the 1800s and early 1900s, yet this loneliness issue came about more recently.
Staying with toxic violent family is more dangerous than being lonely
@thegrassisgreener576
9 ай бұрын
Thank u I needed to read that
@swolfe9668
9 ай бұрын
Forgive toxic people and move forward
@indigoechos6796
5 ай бұрын
Well.. shockingly enough those two situations aren't that different from each other
@sanostudies8734
5 ай бұрын
I agree
@nadeemkevka275
5 ай бұрын
Imagine being in both.
This is literally my whole problem with life, I don't have the energy to socialize and I feel so done.
@justynamaria0333
5 ай бұрын
Socializing shouldn’t feel draining with the right people. They should see you for who you are, not for who you pretend to be.
@lucadesanctis563
4 ай бұрын
@@justynamaria0333 good luck finding genuine ppl in the social media era
@Travis1.980
4 ай бұрын
we´re 2
@motherstar1
3 ай бұрын
me too
@yung_Latios
25 күн бұрын
It's not even worth it. I tried to stop caring. Most people are just unfriendly and will turn on you in one way or another
I swear i won’t be surprised if i die from loneliness
@yeshalloween
5 ай бұрын
Are you ok? I’m sorry you’re suffering. I am too
@Ethan11892
5 ай бұрын
If loneliness is the equivalent of smoking 15 cigarettes a day, I won't live to 30
@musicandpoetry_8
5 ай бұрын
I know right? Every day I wake up more and more depressed, looking forward to the afterlife
@YoshiBoy
4 ай бұрын
fr. i just need to wrap this up already.@@musicandpoetry_8
@bratwurstmitbiryani
4 ай бұрын
How are you now?
A lot of cities being non-walkable is a contributor to increased loneliness, since distance and lack of social spaces makes it harder for people to socialize and gather.
@feleciawallace8420
Жыл бұрын
It's tough to walk long distance when everyone owns aggressive trained dogs that will to attack others... so people stay home, forget walking far far away from home.
@andia968
Жыл бұрын
depression is way harmful than smoking , not saying snoking isnt bad but a happy smoker is healthier than a depressed non smoker in long term
@CHMichael
Жыл бұрын
@Andi A thank you - that comparison made me question everything else she came up. She's all over the place.
@onengkusumah2905
Жыл бұрын
@@feleciawallace8420 dont forget the guns 😆
@f.e.5691
Жыл бұрын
I live in a medium-sized city in EU, where I can go anywhere by foot or bike, yet I haven't felt so lonely as these times in my life
Our society is too "ruggedly individualistic". We need more fellowship and communitarianism.
@musicandpoetry_8
24 күн бұрын
Exactly
@musicandpoetry_8
24 күн бұрын
Our society is about helping yourself, you only have yourself, you have to do it yourself..what happened to people joining together and helping each other?
Be careful not to generalize your own experience. Solitude and loneliness are not the same thing. I shared a childhood home with eight siblings. For me, living alone as an adult is pure bliss.
@halifaxx55
Жыл бұрын
I live alone for first time in life, it is pure bliss :)
@Red-32
Жыл бұрын
Overgeneralizing
@apustajachileno
Жыл бұрын
My question is: How do you do that? do you really don't have any friends/ anyone to talk to and live happy?
@larsthorwald3338
Жыл бұрын
@@apustajachileno I have a few friends, some nieces and nephews, work colleagues, etc. But since I don't live with them, I have the luxury of being able to get away from them when I want--I can spend as much or as little time with them as is good for me. We're not trapped under the same roof forever. It's great. And statistics confirm that this particular life choice is becoming increasingly popular.
@willowtdog6449
Жыл бұрын
Who are you even talking to Lars Thorwald? This was an expert speaking about the findings of 30 years of reassearch. It had nothing to do with her personal experience. No wonder she repeated her credentials so many times. And house still comment like this?
I'm working at a University in a very informal, very casual work environment. We do a lot of stuff together, outside working hours... And yet, I still find it hard to make friends. I have NO IDEA how adults are supposed to make friends in every day life, if they have a more formal, less friendly work environment! Because outside the work environment... how are you supposed to meet people?
@dorino9057
10 ай бұрын
Joining clubs,talking to people around us and keeping an open mind
I can’t believe this. “Are you anti-social” Someone with antisocial personality disorder or traits will typically be manipulative, deceitful and reckless, and will not care for other people's feelings. Being is more in line with introversion. Asking someone if they’re antisocial is completely different from asking them if they’re asocial.
@EddysReturn
4 ай бұрын
I'm late to reply here, but I'm quite glad to finally see someone else who recognizes the difference between the words "asocial" and "antisocial." From my experience, many people tend to use the word "antisocial" without conducting simple research as to the word's definition. This also leads me to be concerned with the possibility that if one were to tell a person who calls it "antisocial" that the correct term is actually "asocial," then they may become confused and immediately dismiss this correction.
@psource2305
4 ай бұрын
This is a very common mistake. People often use the term "anti-social" when they really mean asocial or avoidant. Anti-social in its proper usage describes the traits associated with psychopathy.
@OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOq
3 ай бұрын
True, but we get what people mean.
I think pride is the issue. People don't want to engage. Anytime I go out I connect with people and make friends. However, I get mentally exhausted afterward and I just want to be alone and recharge.
@sheisunknown3201
4 ай бұрын
Exactly so happens with me
@michaelgodden7187
3 ай бұрын
No. Some people just don't fit in with the group and get excluded by the group. This is the main reason for Hikikomori.
With social media, home delivery service and more remote jobs, this was bound to increase.
@caroletuthill3075
4 ай бұрын
Correct it s all part of the tech plan
@berzr320
3 ай бұрын
Yah people before internet were more social
Male loneliness is an epidemic
@steamnamebbderinvade__
19 күн бұрын
@user-sq9pu8jl5f from my experience, I see men disproportionately in mental hospitals, and those places arent gender segregated. I routinely see people that are culturally forgotten about, the religious types, and they definitely wernt schizophrenic; dont believe medical records, they are cruel and ableist and medical professionals are ADDICTED to diagnosing people with schizophrenia when most just had major depression and generalized anxiety disorder, PTSD, BPD, and formal thought disorder if particulary sick. I saw people with dated looks, like mine, and a surprising amount of middle-aged people.
@mr_m4613
14 күн бұрын
@user-sq9pu8jl5ftechnically it is mostly men. Women are lonely because they WANT to be, men are lonely because we HAVE to be.
@realjay247
8 күн бұрын
I’m one of them
@mr_m4613
8 күн бұрын
@@realjay247 same here
@realjay247
8 күн бұрын
@@mr_m4613I think the key is to befriend yourself and if able, enjoy interests and hobbies, mine is reading, art and cycling. I find it hard to make friends, so I accept everything I do is solitary. Stay strong 💪🏻
Online dating has proved to me that there are 2 types of humans: Self-Aware humans. And clueless ones. We really should have our own close-knit communities. Instead of having to guess who is legit, and who isn't. It just bums me out that it's a lot easier to get hate in this society. Than it is to get a hug. Or someone telling you, "Your life matters."
@onengkusumah2905
Жыл бұрын
nah, you're too sensitive, you'd think people hate you, but in reality they just don't give a f about you 🤪
@marcusphoenix5970
Жыл бұрын
Online dating is cancer
@deanosaur808
Жыл бұрын
And what about third type of people, those that don't do online dating? 🤷
@adelekeadeyinkab.1903
Жыл бұрын
Online dating is crazy these days
@Kyree6703
11 ай бұрын
@@onengkusumah2905 I'd argue apathy would hurt more than hatred in this sort of scenario.
You can’t effectively capitalize connection. Social media tries, but it offers a hollowed out version of human connection that only mimics the real thing
One reason for loneliness is that we work too much. 5 days of work and 2 days of rest? How are we supposed to have any time left for socializing? On top of that we have built cities that are all centered around work: all that exists are apartments and work places, and then the roads that connect the two. There arent enough places in our cities where we can actually meet people and do things together.
@balsarmy
Жыл бұрын
I disagree. If you are depressed, work helps to maintain life. I wasn't working for years and it was bad, I didn't make any progress
@greenknitter
Жыл бұрын
@@balsarmy Only if you enjoy your work. Work you don't like or don't have control over can be very depressing and alienating.
@tevbuff
Жыл бұрын
@ Joe Turner Agreed 100%
@yourunclejohn984
10 ай бұрын
@@balsarmyOnly if you enjoy it and have sources for your other mental needs. Almost no one actually enjoys work and we arent even supposed to work like this. We arent built it for biologically. Its important for us to work because it does fill a specific mental need of feeling like we are contributing and helping our species but we shouldnt live to work, we should work to live.
@marthmfn9707
6 ай бұрын
I agree Joe.
We need to also consider, especially, in the United States that the rise of suburbia contributed to the sense of loneliness and isolation. I do realize the interview could not possibly cover every aspect of it but it's worth a mention.
@CHMichael
Жыл бұрын
Rise? The rise happened in the 80s .... but she believes something more important happened in the 80s - I agree with you and question every theory she treats as fact.
@pranaym3859
Жыл бұрын
Suburbia definitely played the part, I live in a city with half million population but feels like a ghost town
@CHMichael
Жыл бұрын
@@pranaym3859 so why do you live there? ( work being Super close is a good reason )
@andraspeter1114
Жыл бұрын
@@CHMichael It's astonishing how psychologists always talk like every opinion of theirs is a scientific fact, even though though the consensus within the field is that its not actually empiric science.
@mariuszj3826
Жыл бұрын
@@andraspeter1114 They don't. You're making hasty generalization about a profession. The phenomenon of alienation in modern society is thoroughly studied and well observed. It's not debatable. The only issue is: 1) detect its nuances 2) find solutions. Social sciences study trends so it's impossible not to make some form of generalization since we're not talking about case by case basis. The role of studying clinical cases of people affected by this is left to therapists and psychiatrists whom also agree with social scientists on this issue.
I guess my loneliness will go well with my smoking and drinking
@adamantium4797
4 ай бұрын
Ok
@user-yl3pv5fm4s
3 ай бұрын
Very funny.
@applescruff1969
2 ай бұрын
Ironically, in moderation, beer can actually help prevent heart disease. Sounds like what all the lonely people need! -sarcasm-
It is quite hard for some people like me to live in a city alone ,no one you to talk to ,no one to share your life with ,life becomes a burden
@namelessmonster8139
7 ай бұрын
Konsi city me ho bhai
Living alone is a luxury. It depends on how you look at it. You can work on yourself when you are alone.
@lazarusblackwell6988
7 ай бұрын
True.
I've been living alone for almost twenty years, and I'm accustomed to it. I love my peace & quiet, and I love my hobbies. You can be alone, but not lonely.
@FocusandPositivity
7 ай бұрын
Just curious, what are your hobbies? I’d like to take up something new.
@txlyons2937
7 ай бұрын
@@FocusandPositivity I'm an artist, and I writer. I draw and paint, and I've written several books that I'm trying to get published. I just love being creative. For exercise, I go hiking and climbing. My advice would be to find a pastime you're passionate about, and then balance it with physical activity. That's important. When the body sits stagnant, so does the mind.
@FocusandPositivity
7 ай бұрын
@@txlyons2937 Great advice! Thank you.
@ball3677
4 ай бұрын
Good for you, I guess? Thats not whats being discussed here. They're talking about the epidemic of people reporting on feeling socially isolated and lacking personal relationships. You enjoying your solitude doesn't negate the millions of people that feel severe loneliness.
@RobertGarcia-wb4hy
3 ай бұрын
@@txlyons2937 Living alone for twenty years, that's a reeeeal long time. Don't you yearn to have a partner you can share things with?
You can be alone, but not lonely. I think we need to distinguish those two. I've never been that social and I do enjoy time alone and don't feel depressed when I am alone. On the other hand, if you suffer from being alone, that probably is harmful to you.
@tuyenle8107
Жыл бұрын
agree. Being alone doesn't indicate loneliness. This AI thing is taking it too far
@mikedrones537
Жыл бұрын
You just did distinguish the two. There is “alone” and there is “loneliness”
@GlenfordR
Жыл бұрын
I am 100% with you on this. I love my imagination, gardening, taking the dog out for a run, all alone, I find it more stressful when I must go to an event and meet with people. I once met another guy at one of these events who was living the same life I was living. my partner on the other hand, well, she is the complete opposite in every way and sometimes it's annoying.
@coyote75
Жыл бұрын
I’m on the spectrum. I need me-time to breathe and recharge. Also loneliness (vs being alone as you note) may have negative effects in the long term but I certainly think toxic relationships-be they romantic, familial, or a “friendship” are more harmful.
@allisonandrews4719
Жыл бұрын
I am suspicious of this sudden discovery of loneliness. As a former therapist, I spent a long time talking to people who would have been immeasurably helped cutting toxic people out of their lives. Many eventually did. Many many times that meant women left men, but not always. It is probably the case that more people could have more satisfying relationships than they do have, but that would require massive changes in work, gender, and other cultural norms, changes in the distribution of wealth, health, and leisure, changes in basic human safety and autonomy. Until then, it might just be that some people are better off maintaining their boundaries and if that means governments start freaking out about babies, consumption, and social cohesion, too bad.
I don´t know what led me to loneliness. But here I am.
As for me - I am happiest when no one is around.
@digibluez
Жыл бұрын
might be, but even people like you need one connection at least once in a month with a person you actually like
@MrNeversweat
Жыл бұрын
And then after a looong time alone you really feel lonely and Start crying, I've seen people in that state, having people around is a good thing if you can, loneliness could drive someone mad.
@aaronsmith9209
Жыл бұрын
I am the same as it's easier to be myself but every now and then, I just want someone else around, even just a pet, just another living being. Actually makes my day when I overhear a stranger say something random that makes me laugh.
@agnezz4985
Жыл бұрын
I live alone, single for many years, have home office, I'm an expat and socialize only with coworkers from time to time. Try to stay sane in such circumstances!
@DemocratsDestroyedAmerica
3 ай бұрын
Stop lieing. Sorry
It's nice how some restaurants in Europe try to fit you in with other diners.. and some even have bench seats, which is nice for those who travel alone to have a bit of companionship. In a way, it is unfortunate that the media centers on people with criminal intent. Sometimes you can make someone's day better with just a few friendly words.. and make the world a better place.. just a little bit.
@m.e.345
Жыл бұрын
@@tayler2396 Yes.. sometimes.. but I shared some nice meals with local people when I visited in 2003. One can't expect everybody to like oneself.. naturally.
@agnezz4985
Жыл бұрын
I live in a country with the worst customer service in Europe and I'm single. Whenever I go to the empty restaurant they force me to sit at the worst possible table, the smallest, no comfortable couch for me ever 😢 shame on you Bulgaria
@evadebruijn
7 ай бұрын
Sure a kind word a smile a little attention, having your existence noticed, appreciated, that goes a long way. However you do not call one of these shallow contacts (if you even feel like exchanging phone numbers, there are quite unpleasant people about, masking it well, that you need to keep at a safe distance from your personal life) when you need someone to accompany you to a hospital appointment where they require you to have an assisted ride home, call for celebrating your birthday, go on holiday with, go see a movie with, the list goes on. There is a sense of loneliness in exactly that, having the small talk here and there whenever you head out, walking your dog, get your groceries at that local corner shop, but it not fullfilling the need for a more intimate connection, like truly knowing someone, and have them truly know you, and the peaceful trusting feeling of proper friendship. ✌️
@sebastianfernandez8613
6 ай бұрын
Media wants to make money so they make papers with what they perceive to be more interesting to society.
While I think there are many factors contributing to increased isolation and loneliness, one thing I have consistently seen is that the men I know often have few friends to turn to, while the women in my life all have at least a few intimate friendships. I have no data to ascertain if this is a recent societal development, but my girlfriend's and I often talk about how we worry about our husbands and boyfriends in this respect. They are all intelligent, wonderful, and seemingly confident men, who are happy to accompany us to parties or other gatherings, but they very, very rarely initiate something themselves.
@halleffect5439
Жыл бұрын
I have male and female friends. And from my view women have far more social contacts. When i see them getting over 20 whatsapp messages in one evening and i usually get maybe one.
@ladacvijetic5494
Ай бұрын
@@halleffect5439not always true
Real companionship and connection is what helps people who are isolated and lonely. We should not count on AI.
@lucadesanctis563
4 ай бұрын
That's what will happen unfortunately. Blade Runner predicted this long time ago..
lonely people don't get that much, and that triggers depression. great topic by the way. thanks, Dr!
@deanosaur808
Жыл бұрын
You mean s e x ? 😅
@allisond.46
10 ай бұрын
Don’t get much what? Socialization? That’s the point.
@mattermax
10 ай бұрын
@@allisond.46 don't get any "Faculty meetings"
Living alone is bliss for enlightenment. Persons who live alone are strong. Meditation is their friend.
@dreas9236
Жыл бұрын
Maybe looks strong? I don't think they're strong, they have more of a problem with fear, and that's why they go into avoidance. In the retreat, the fear is calmed, and that is reinterpreted as "strong."
@adamantium4797
4 ай бұрын
@@dreas9236 whatever works. In my case I don't want extra baggage
@dreas9236
4 ай бұрын
@@adamantium4797 Sometimes it triggers me when people want to be alone so much these days because I don't like being alone all the time. But I feel your comment. It sounds like a paradox, but I often feel the same way.
@adamantium4797
4 ай бұрын
@dreas9236 I lived with some women for some years I had some more action and fun. Then everything changed after covid, ppl wanting to be alone triggers you, but for me what triggers me is the greedy materialistic world we are in. my depression triggers me, the only way I get anything I want out of this life is by pushing towards it or manipulating my way to it
@dreas9236
4 ай бұрын
@@adamantium4797 Yeah, absolutely. You've hit on a real point there. The materialism and the expectations of people to be like that has involuntarily pulled me back from the world. The greedy materialistic world make me tired.
a cat or dog goes a long way 🙂
@vrutantshah7218
Жыл бұрын
@@samueljr.2026 😃😃
@deanosaur808
Жыл бұрын
It depends on the length of the lease, or the size of the garden 😉 🤣
@RobertGarcia-wb4hy
3 ай бұрын
Sure, but you can't marry a dog or a cat. When Adam was alone in the garden, God gave him Eve, not a cat.
I’m 28, and I am as lonely as you can get.
Especially for those who work remotely from home and stay home 24/7.
I’m an early medievalist scholar, and I want to tell you that the most dreaded punishment in early medieval times was not the most torturous executions. No. It was exile. People would rather die fighting in the company of their kins or comrades, than be exiled alone into the unknown.
@Red-32
Жыл бұрын
Better be alone than in gay company
@trildi
Жыл бұрын
Very different times. These days you have information and population overload. Think about it. It's peace and quiet that we can't get 99% of the time.
Throughout history, until now, we have had a "third space" like a gathering place, like a bar but bigger and with different sections and people.
_In the end, only three things matter: how much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you._ ―Gautama Buddha *_1_* There is a big difference between _loneliness_ and _aloneness._ The self moves in loneliness; love moves in aloneness; when love is, the self is not. *_2 Without love and sense of humor there is unhappiness and life is meaningless._* 💕☮🌎🌌
People are so different. For me, I prefer to be around others with infrequent periods alone (this helps me feel like I’m having solitude rather than loneliness).. Because of past hurt with the people I loved so much, I formed deeper connections, I keep my relationships pretty shallow, but I’m a powerful mimic of closeness. It’s the way I can function in the world until I finish downsizing so I can take myself out.
Try being in love with a woman as a man lol youll end up lonlier and damaged in ways you couldnt imagine.
@user-gw3lp3lb1o
6 ай бұрын
I hear ya.😢
Smoking and loneliness two things i deal with. my smoking helps me cope with loneliness.
This is the result of encouraging individualism we are social creatures
It is more of an economic situation. You rarely meet a lonely rich person. Our economic policies are hollowing out traditional middle class and people are working hard to make ends meet. There is no luxury for long term meaningful relationships.
@tevbuff
Жыл бұрын
@ Snow White Exactly! It’s hard to form bonds and lasting relationships when you’re working all the time.
@allisond.46
10 ай бұрын
There definitely are lonely rich people.
@snowbear1877
2 ай бұрын
If you were rich you might not know who your real friends are, because some might only hang around for what they can get out of you.
I'm lonely all the time. Extremely difficult to find a girl in America. If I was in China, I wouldn't have any problem. They are much more inclined to find companions overseas. It's definitely a health risk, I would be stronger and healthier if I had a companion. Maybe our society values money over all else, I don't know. Even making a basic conversation with a girl at dating age is nearly impossible. If there is a nice girl who is datable, she's been snatched up a long time ago. I'm not an alpha male, just the opposite. Maybe that's it, I don't know. I'm the kind of person that thinks of others, not myself.
@deanosaur808
Жыл бұрын
Contradiction there. If you was in China, why would they be interested in you if "They are much more inclined to find companions overseas" 😅😉
@bengalibunny9531
Жыл бұрын
@Mahadragon Sorry to hear that but have you tried hobbies and meeting women as friends first? From that love can grow … never give up hope! I am rooting for you ❤
@mikicerise6250
Жыл бұрын
Are you serious? China values money even more than USA. If you think you are lonely in the US because of money, in China you might as well be living in an isolation chamber. You have to be able to afford a house before anybody will even look at you. 🤣
@dorino9057
10 ай бұрын
Cast a wide net and keep an open mind while looking
@swolfe9668
9 ай бұрын
Stop looking for a mate and love yourself
Given this world its complicated ... Age .. money.... Sex.... Job.... food...😢 we fight for everything😢 we have no solution 😢. People don't talk they remain silent😊 finding your companion is one in a million😊😊 find that person and u won't be Lonley atleast for a While😢 cheers 🥃
I prefer being alone, probably due to technology and the internet. But having social skills isn’t like riding a bike, if you don’t do it for a long time you will forget how to. This is how it is for most people, and when you forget, socializing becomes harder and then being alone feels less like a choice. That’s where the loneliness comes from.
@terrybumpass4799
8 ай бұрын
Like you said, the internet has made it more acceptable (not easier) to be alone. But that ain't good. And like you said, the deeper you get, the deeper you get. If anyone has invited you to a church home, please consider going.
@112556
6 ай бұрын
Exactly. Being alone feels lonely when you feel you don’t have a choice.
@lucadesanctis563
4 ай бұрын
I rather have poor social skill than seeing ppl treating me like a fool for my height or my honesty. I'm 33 and I'm so glad I'm alone. I'm definitely not happy, but humans suck nowadays. A LOT
@ladacvijetic5494
Ай бұрын
@@lucadesanctis563there is truth in that
Culture of psychopaths.
Though I'm introverted, i definitely need companionship, just someone to talk to about everything. Its really exhausting a times. I agree with this documentary. AI seems like a joy for people like me. This might not be it for all introverts.
“ For my whole life, I didn't know if I even really existed. But I do, and people are starting to notice” -Arthur Fleck(2019 and beyond)
I am lonely and I smoke, it's over for me
9 years ago in college I valued my education more than people. I was more in love with education and learning and burying myself into my books gave relief but I lost friends I made because I wasn't there for there since I already been through abuse prior to college and school made me feel love again. My ex boyfriend would stare at me to catch my attention but I never paid any kind although I loved him deep in my heart. He has been gone for years and finally came and I wish I would've gave him a chance. Now I am suicidal and having a miserable night. I honestly don't want to be here. Years into my freshman life, I met a doctor who prescribed me Benzos and it made things worse. I spiraled out of control and onto opioids. Now I'm alone and fighting. Struggling to get back up and going.
im not lonely just poor lol
I’m alone. It’s my own fault and I deserve it.
Great insight, we need to speak more openly about issues like this and learn from research and crucially put the findings into practice.
My luck being lonely and a chain smoker. I didnt ask to be born a wage slave. I dont want to live long enough to make my boss/owner richer.
I don't feel lonely being alone.
@dreas9236
Жыл бұрын
Wow! You must be a hero👋With this sentence you save the world
@HenryHoolington
11 ай бұрын
Then that means you are not alone, you have your needs met in some kind of way
"Being alone is an option, not an illness." - Master Shifu.
@martins3885
Жыл бұрын
Master shifu is based
@waludalu5102
8 ай бұрын
what if literally everyone just avoids you for no reason
Great insight, fascinating subject, and relatable delivery.
Given that we're an extremely overpopulated planet, you have to figure that if there is a rise in loneliness, there must be an even bigger rise in people who want to be left alone. Otherwise we would all just go outside and talk to each other. With the exception of the elderly and other groups whose circumstances put them in more isolated environments, its a fair assumption that our declining social skills are contributing to this new trend. In which case, being that too much time online is the primary cause for social ineptitude I dont think AI is in anyway helpful to the problem. The likelihood that more people value solitude since COVID might be a greater issue to address. Even the most introverted of us knows that socialising in moderation is beneficial to overall wellbeing, so what was so offputting about society that people stopped making the effort to participate after the pandemic lockdown? Answering that is the first step to resolving the situation. This report is one of those things that doesn't give human beings nearly enough credit. We don't need to be told what loneliness feels like or coached on how to avoid loneliness. We're social animals. If we're not socialising then something within us is telling us that it's in our best interests not to. That is what these social science academics should be working on. People are rejecting the societal constructs that have been carved out by an overbearing minority. Attempting to force an unsocial society into socialising by throwing out expected norms and potential health risks is the worst approach to dealing with the problem. I bet extroverts came up with that idea 🙄😁
@TheShadowPerson.
8 ай бұрын
Overpopulation is a myth, if we lived in China or India yes that might be true.
@richerDiLefto
6 ай бұрын
Exactly. As an introvert, the pandemic was my *dream come true.* I can’t fathom why others were complaining about it.
After working in customer service and endured the unrealistic expectations of some customers, I am soooooo glad to be by myself 😑 I need a break from human beings! 😁
@onengkusumah2905
Жыл бұрын
second that. people call it loneliness, i call it happiness.
@HShango
Жыл бұрын
I agree, I used to work in customer service, it stressed me out.
@chuck_dane
Жыл бұрын
Jeez! I can relate!!!
@tevbuff
Жыл бұрын
@ Mother Aotearoa Agreed I’m currently working in customer services it can make you dislike Human beings.
Maya Angelou gave an interview around 20 years ago where she said that we had done a great disservice to the young people by not letting them be alone, that they were pushed to be sociable. So that was a source of things like youth gangs because they learned that they needed to have the sense of belonging. She described the joy of being alone.
I'm glad I come from a culture where family is everything. As they say, it takes a village to bring up a child...
I was touch starved recently. I had no idea that was possible. I love my solitude, but hugs are amazing.
I noticed this being a problem is more prosperous advanced nations. In smaller more traditional countries it's not as big of a problem. I see this a lot here in America where I live. Lots of depression anxiety loneliness drug addiction and self harm. Its sad. But it's the reality of American life. I blame social media and lack of real connection.
@Tokmurok
4 ай бұрын
Lack of connection is the source of loneliness.
@MESSEDUPWORLD30
4 ай бұрын
@@Tokmurok yes I agree with that one.
This is the talk of the century.👍
This is so important!
Everyday I wake up and trough the day the only thing I think about how lonely i am, feeling devastated at night i wish to be gone by 30
Ask yourself why a monk could spend a decade in isolation and not feel deprived, but you feel in distress after 3 days of no contact. It is all about your expectations. Change your expectations, and stop listening to what the idiotic culture around you expects from you, or what YOU expect from you in relation to that toxic culture. Both yoga and Buddhism have answers to these problems. So take a lesson from your extreme elders. The answers have been around for at least 3000 years!
As an introvert loneliness is my friend 😃✌️
@neofulcrum5013
Жыл бұрын
Likewise
@lickrish3930
Жыл бұрын
I want to be your friend
@622PSS
Жыл бұрын
"Solitude is my life. Society benefits me little." It is a common cliche to overstate the relationship between "loneliness" and depression but overstate the significance of social life. The QUALITY of others' company is often ignored either. Fostering one's self-reliance and self-awareness is the proper way to counterbalance the inherent human feeling of loneliness.
@greenknitter
Жыл бұрын
Introvert too, but self aware enough to know loneliness is as bad for us as it is for extroverts.
@netgnostic1627
Жыл бұрын
As an introvert, my frequent choice of solitude has created a loneliness that I hate.
I see what you did there! Preaching to the choir reminds us that we're not alone, You have to love DW for its reporting!
I try socialize with people who I think can help but those people are not accepting to socialize with me because they think I'm looking for personal interest, mainly because communication with strangers randomly is not the norm these days. That's the problem; people nowadays are too afraid to socialize and talk and be intimate. I'm mainly lonely because I get turned away by members of my society.
Loneliness I think is getting worse. Young men today are choosing not to date, this means that there will be more single women as time goes on.
Drugs are increasingly being used as a crutch for this, legal and illegal.
Being with the wrong person or a toxic family is worse than smoking
I'm in my mid 30s, live alone for close to 15 years and don't really have an identity outside my bubble.
La soledad aceptada, tambien tiene un peligro: encerrarse completamente en su propio espacio, fisico, mental, emocional y tornarse en alguien que no tolera la minima interaccion en su espacio en general, no tolera otras presencias, otras opiniones, otros comportamientos, etc, etc
I’m alone almost 24.7, But by choice
@LowOfSolipsism
Жыл бұрын
Still young, so it just temporary pause in social activity
All has been said here. Now I feel less lonely knowing that I’m not the only one in this vicious circle of our modern day life. Thank you
Dr way is right. The lack of social skills and negative belief system inculcated in children during school is one key reason for people not being able to connect with anyone.
Nicole can really pull off that green color like no one else
Small and bigger cities need more noncommercial possibilities to meet. I grew up in several bigger cities in Germany in the late 80s / 90s, back then there were still low rents and therefore some alternative, uncommercial possibilities to meet, like squatted houses or autonomous youth centres. Since housing and everything else has become so expensive in the cities, these meeting places have been cleared by the police, because suddenly a lot of money could be made with these places or spaces. This is just one example of why everything is getting worse.
This interview is an eye-opener 😊
loneliness and being alone are two very different things
Im a part loner and part social but lately I find being alone really really sucks, I dont enjoy much playing solo video games anymore , I dont enjoy driving alone when on vacation anymore and I have been traumatized living with someone twice, Im like stuck in the middle afraid being alone and afraid to be with someone who might just be the same as before. and making friends after college is pretty much impossible people are busy living their lives and when become an adult we just became partly cynical.
@iuciubbb
4 ай бұрын
This is social anxiety. Which has been preventing me from establishing love relationships. I agree, I feel myself torn, struggling with my fears of rejection, plus I'm 41 without ever having had a girlfriend, stuck forever in a pattern in which I'm attracted to women I eventually find out to already have a boyfriend. That feels oppressing, suffocating, every time it happens I feel my strength and my hope fading away.
People are annoying. They hear someone say something is a fact and they run with it, spreading it around for others to repeat.
Solitude and lonliness are not the same, lonliness is when you allow your happiness and well being to depend on the presence and validation of other people.
I guess the main cause is mass media, TV and internet and so on. It simulates social interaction where it's not there in reality in real life. It makes people think they are not lonely but in fact they are all sitting at home staring at screens... Cause it feels "safer". Which is the case with me
I've never been lonely a day in my life. And I've traveled the world for 10 years - most of it solo. I truly don't understand this sensation. I love being alone.
Imagine being lonely and living in a toxic family and the one person who loved u for 7 years was forced to leave u because of your mom and u cant even say anything to her because nothing u say matters.
When friendship has no value, loneliness is the result of it. Social skills, etiquette rules lubricates society.
I'm in an abusive relationship with Google Assistant. She doesn't understand me and keeps asking me to verify my voice. DAMNIT, YOU'VE KNOWN ME FOR YEARS, DON'T PRETEND YOU DON'T KNOW ME.
@deanosaur808
Жыл бұрын
Disable the damn thing! Disable everything! 🤣
@tuna0arujah
3 ай бұрын
😂 Instantly burst out laughing! Lol!! Thanks! 😂
Most relationships are based on one way street and once the starter realizes about it will end, Some people were taught into believing that they deserve a relationship above others and their effort towards it must always be the lower. We did this to ourselves when we started shouting I know my worth which is sujective and not self claimed!!
I am lonely at 33. Still living with parents which I don't particularly like but they still give that feeling of "home". When I'll go living on my own I won't go past my 50's and maybe that will be liberating...
Better to be Alone than to be with the Wrong People.
Fact is that far less females suffer from lonelyness. For females it's much more easy to get attention compared to men.
@t33554
8 ай бұрын
No it's not true. I'm a girl and I can tell you that we are lonelier than men
@opoxious1592
8 ай бұрын
@@t33554 You are wrong. And i already gave the answer why.
@azzzzzzzzzzz9901
7 ай бұрын
Or maybe it’s because men are not socialised to utilise and expand their soft skills aka emotional and social skills. And hence they fail to make friendships and communities. It’s research. The male loneliness epidemic doesn’t exist because women get more attention but because men are stuck in the rut that they created on their own.
@Chris-fw5pl
7 ай бұрын
@@azzzzzzzzzzz9901 What rut exactly?
Glad that you brought up masculinity, it is a huge issue faced my boys and men
This is very concerning especially for our Young people Especially when life changing situations such as leaving school beginning a new job etc… We need to have a strong supporting mixed age group communities to helpful listeners and supporters for our next generation ❤️
The problem is, nobody cares I never knew it could get this lonely but I know it now I take sleeping pills everyday and night and praying it kills me I can't deal with this any longer Everybody else's problems gets talked about but mine doesn't I never had a reason to live and I have nobody I have nothing to lose
she needs more time to talk, until now it was just I feel, I think .... and She actually made a study with proven results, give her more time DW
@ariesfairy4444
Жыл бұрын
i agree lol they kept cutting her off too
Globalization has greatly contributed to loneliness. People move away from the communities that they grew up in for work and study. Even though one has a spouse they need intimate relationships with friends and family. Sadly these days humans live far away from alot of the people that they once had intimate relationships with.
Anyone who doesn't like being alone is in bad company.
Until a lot of women suffer due to loneliness, nobody is going to do anything about loneliness since nobody cares about men's loneliness. In fact, many make fun of it.
I'm autistic (ASD) so I naturally like to have a lot of solitude time to myself, I find being around people exhausting at times.