Remember, people: some dreams turn out to be nightmares. Let them go...

@kadanielle

3 жыл бұрын

I definitely needed to hear this.

@effrakataeffrakata2092

3 жыл бұрын

Yes thats true,but as we age we start to See Life and people clearly ,i can See a narcissist a Mile away...Nobody takes nothing from me anymore...use or abouse me.

@lindazhang8004

3 жыл бұрын

i BEEN THERE !!! LOL OUCH !!!

@NarnianLady

3 жыл бұрын

True! A real nightmare.

@GypsyMaeRose

2 жыл бұрын

So true!

The dream is STILL OUR DREAM....just not with that loser ❤

@livinglifejaybyjay3063

3 жыл бұрын

Yessss

@beccawhite1887

2 жыл бұрын

💯

@alexng4

Жыл бұрын

or maybe you're the loser...i'm not trying being a jerk, but sometimes people have a delusional inflated perception of themselves..

@Thatsitthatsallllll

Жыл бұрын

Absolutely!!!!! 🎉❤

It's funny, as much as we know the person isn't good for us, we're resistant to kick them out of the dream, we believe they are the only person who can fill that role, I guess we do this cuz accepting the reality that they aren't, is just too depressing, whereas continuing to believe in the fantasy of the dream gives us hope, even if it's false hope.

@Katya-gf1vw

3 жыл бұрын

Absolutely true! Losing the whole dream.

@m7j23s53

3 жыл бұрын

I get it. I am dealing with the same thing as you are.

@Butterfly-nx4tt

3 жыл бұрын

Well said and totally agree!

@tmksk89

3 жыл бұрын

True..to know someone is not good for us and yet wanting her badly is tough. May be bcoz our minds do not want to accept that we made a wrong choice

@dankline9162

2 жыл бұрын

Its also bc we know them and their problems, with our perspective, and would want to try to help them if we could, to make the dream possible, but they can only fix themselves if they are willing to and put in the work. Dont try to fix others.

Be like a tree and let the dead leaves drop. - Rumi

remember our life is short, our energy is not infinite, there is always somebody worth out there

@SusanWinter

3 жыл бұрын

Beautiful

@aaronarthurarcillas5087

2 жыл бұрын

True..

@wavy6470

2 жыл бұрын

@@tjfSIM Might need to reconsider what you're searching for.

@EmilyGloeggler7984

2 жыл бұрын

Remember that you do not have to have anyone else out there, even if they are worth it. If you don't want them, let them go and cut the wiring clean off.

Game changer: “that person isn’t going to get what you wanted; the other person is going to get what your partner gives them.” Wow!!!! So true and comforting to here.

@queendom4839

Жыл бұрын

Yes very comforting! That line had me chuckling!

@rejoegeorge

5 ай бұрын

Hi Emily, this phrase that she made does sound good but I'm trying to wrap my head around on what exactly does that mean. I might be wrong with my understanding. Can you explain with an example? Like I was looking for a certain level of affection from this person, but they give it to their partner even when they don't need to ask for it (it could be something that they want also, right?)

@qj2003fall

4 ай бұрын

@@rejoegeorgethe pattern continues. A guy who is afraid of commitment may also hurt another girl.

The timing could not have been better 😭

@SusanWinter

3 жыл бұрын

LOVE IT.

@joe_tha137

2 жыл бұрын

😭😭😭😭😭😭

Susan, you're such an intuitive therapist. You just KNOW. Your wisdom, natural charm, and beauty (inside and out) are refreshingly welcomed and appreciated. Thank you.

@SusanWinter

3 жыл бұрын

thanks Annette

@lindazhang8004

3 жыл бұрын

I couldnt agree more :-)

@rickcope3226

2 жыл бұрын

Always remember. Rejection breeds obsession

I was dating a guy for 2 months, it was great till I expressed my wanting to be in a proper relationship. He said he was too traumatized from his past relationships and he didn't want nothing more. I found out that he was dating another girl and he choose her over me. This was 2 years ago, they live together now. He is all over her social media. On the other hand no photo of her on his Facebook /Instagram.Back then I was scattered, now I realize that he does to her the same thing and that I wouldn't tolerate him anyway

@fleadoggreen9062

3 жыл бұрын

Yes he’s too indecisive, he needs to know. What or who he really wants , good thing you tracked him down on fb, now you know you just would of felt used.

@adday.

3 жыл бұрын

I looked up my big heart break from 20 years ago. He did on numbers on his wife and his mistress so bad they both rant about him on IG!

@gumerzambrano

3 жыл бұрын

Yeah he just wanted to hit it and exit. Try unfollowing then on social media (:

@SusanWinter

3 жыл бұрын

@@adday. wow...

@Tiabiacha1

3 жыл бұрын

He probably cheating on her and unsure about her too.

Bingo! The way someone acts to you is the way he/she reacts to every relationship! ❤️

Ohhh😀😀😀 I'm very happy to hear the last sentence " he will and guess what they are going to experience hot and cold not you."....😀😀😀❤️❤️❤️ Love you Susan ...😘😘😘

Hearing he will not necessarily change his chore behavior with a new partner is somehow a relief. And realizing it’s loosing the “dream”of what someone inspired and not actual reality makes total sense

@jackpetersen7545

2 жыл бұрын

AmyJacqueline G,You look gorgeous 🌷🌹,Hope you are with a good man!

@ragingphoinix9144

2 жыл бұрын

Alternative take: maybe it's just not with you. People get too wrapped up in these notions that because x, y, z didn't work with you, or said person didn't work with you, that they will act the same with someone else. Sometimes, it's true. Other times, it's not. We want the other person to hurt like we do so we don't feel alone in our grief. The hardest lesson is accepting that even though you may have cared about each other at one point, ultimately, it just didn't work. It hurts to let go this way, because we always try to think of the what ifs or could haves, but the best life lesson I've learned is that sometimes, it really is what it is and what it isn't, and letting go.

@muyumyah

Жыл бұрын

@@ragingphoinix9144 this is hard honesty but necessary

One of the messages on the movie WW1984 it's exactly about letting go of the one you love when it has become detrimental to your life and health. When Diana said "I renounce my wish " and left Steve behind she got her power back and was able to fly for the first time... and I got the message and did the same. I renounce my wish and dream with him and since then I feel wonderful.

@SusanWinter

3 жыл бұрын

Brava!

Hardest thing with a broken relationship is moving on and forgetting about them. I'm currently going through it and just want to be happy with them and move on. I found out things about her which doesn't fit what I want from a wife and so I use that to try and move on. One important thing I'll say to everyone here is keep busy, go out do stuff, see family as it really helps mentally. I know with Covid and lockdown occuring in different places around the globe will affect what we can and can't do so better to find things to do which wouldn't break that rule. Worst thing you want to do is sit out home overthink about the person as then your mind starts making things worse.

@hyperwarrior908

3 жыл бұрын

"Worst thing you want to do is sit out home overthink about the person as then your mind starts making things worse" That's true and unfortunately, the lockdown's policy from my city is making things really hard for people suffering heartache during this time. Restaurants, bars, coffee shop, nightclubs or sporting facilities are closed. Curfew in the evening! What do we have left? Internet, KZread or Netflix... Susan's videos is what keeping me sane. She's brilliant!

@zaink7037

3 жыл бұрын

@@hyperwarrior908 your not wrong with covid messing things up. Here in London we're in our second national lockdown. I heard about this girl I liked last year in march a week before the first lockdown came in. Talk about timing. I've been stuck at home since and for the past few months after finishing university I'm struggling to get into the career I want due to covid messing it up. Im now looking at jobs in the financial sector which is different to the science qualifications I got and parents aren't happy about it but I'm sure hopefully I'll be better off in this.

@EadsB7002

3 жыл бұрын

Excellent advice. Best to focus on what’s IS working in your life over what’s not. Woe is me is a very alluring place to be....but always leads to more overthinking and more disappointment.

@SusanWinter

3 жыл бұрын

@@hyperwarrior908 thank you!!

@NoName-jq7tj

3 жыл бұрын

Yes I’ve done this for a long time with previous partners. You have to be carful when you get deeply entrenched in this kind of state of mind as you get used to it like a depression it becomes your friend. I use your method of looking at her character and knowing I would not want that from a wife. Ive decided to put all my energies in my goal to succeed as an international sports photographer. My ultimate goal is to photograph the men’s 100mm final at the Olympics.

That last sentence: “They are going to be experience ‘hot and cold’, not you”. Priceless! Now I can finally move on after 1,5 years.... yesssss Thank you ❤️

@metaversewallet

2 жыл бұрын

1.5yrs?? thats so much time. dear god bless you.. m in similar situation but moving on soon.

I love the parallel you draw between the 'dream" and the idea to replace them by a better actor in a movie. thank you, great idea! I will remember this :)

@teeahtate

Жыл бұрын

Right, we get attached to a person and an idea without looking at the reality of the situation. If a person doesn't want then they won't treat you right anyway.

wow! Just let go of a toxic man and dream today! TY . I am going to be o.k.

@evansbrown4481

3 жыл бұрын

Happy for you, toxic relationships shouldn’t be endured

I've let go of relationships..Period. I can't do it anymore. No more dream. The hurt and the mindf*#@ry isn't worth it.

@thelovely1553

3 жыл бұрын

Same here....

@devashish7260

3 жыл бұрын

Have you started this process? can you share your progress?

I wish I had known about Susan when I was going through a break up. But still very helpful and pleasant to listen to

@magdanovacmissouritigers6405

3 жыл бұрын

same here

@rupachakraborty7356

3 жыл бұрын

she is a motivational for me...❤️..

@SusanWinter

3 жыл бұрын

I appreciate this. Thank you!

@deepikamajumdar9622

3 жыл бұрын

I feel the same way, I could have saved wasting my years. You are amazing Susan ❤️

@lindazhang8004

3 жыл бұрын

that's why i think we should learn come here and learn and do our study review more often now and then coz it is that good.

I really needed to hear this. I'm going through the same hardship. My person was also hot and cold. You shouldn't want them anymore and yet you miss them. I'm looking forward to who will fit my dream ;)

Yep...once I learnt that it was my dream and not reality changed the way I dated. I see what I see now, not want I want to see.

@teeahtate

Жыл бұрын

YES. We get caught up in what we want to see instead of what is really there. I did that in my youth. Now I follow Maya Angelou's advice, 'When people show you who they are believe them."

“Where you’re moving toward is better than anything you’ve got.” Susan, you have such powerful words coming out of you, you might not even know about it! I ended a four-year relationship with my first girlfriend and to this day, I feel like I lost my best friend. When in reality, my life has been much better and I’ve found someone who’s a much better partner. It’s funny how our brain likes to get stuck onto things that we used to idealise.

I love what you say about the next girl experiencing hot and cold....it is very consoling.

The ending! "they're going to experience hot and cold.. Not you" I just love that. Thank you so much, Susan Winter. ♥ 🤗

Wow that leading role part really hits me. I have the power to choose and have a great Cast in my life. Thank you Ms. Susan.

@SusanWinter

3 жыл бұрын

Yes you do Jerome. You are the casting director, the screenwriter and the director.

Bravo! This has been, in my opinion, the soundest, most articulate, & logical form of advice that I've ever heard! So relevant for anyone going through a divorce or break-up to be able to understand the 'why's' & 'hows' of reframing their experience this way so that they can actually move forward in life with confidence, clarity, and eventually even with gratitude for having been given the tools to help them heal so much sooner than they were otherwise able to !! Skip the redundant sections of your grief experience?? YES PLEASE! After 2 failed marriages- I had to learn the hard way that those 'what-if' kind of thoughts only prolong your pain & add extra regret cause you wasted even more of your precious time stuck in 'analysis paralysis' when you could have been focused on the manifestation of the upgraded version of your dream!!!!

@SusanWinter

3 жыл бұрын

Kimberly, thank you thank you thank you!!!!!

@kymbelt

3 жыл бұрын

@@SusanWinter You are most welcome! So glad I stumbled upon your channel & subscribed! Great content 💯

@lioydwilliams1850

3 жыл бұрын

@@kymbelt you deserve better my dear

@ralu1651

3 жыл бұрын

I came to exactly same conclusion as Susan points out, after 10months of “what if’s” and misery thinking. I ended up being grateful for the lessons learned through my experience with him and be thankful of him showing me what I should not in fact tolerate and why I was tolerating BS. Though time and now in the beginning of a new time of calmly and naturally letting go. Susan is the best! I wished for this video to land on my notification 10 months ago. But grateful for the lovely confirmation of my lessons learned through struggle. 🤍

@williamsharman2159

3 жыл бұрын

@@kymbelt Hi Kimberly, hope you're safe over there, i hope this year brings joy and happiness to all Americans

First time hearing about "the dream" theory and I can tell I am having a mega blaster insight now! Thank you for that!

I know my ex is bad for me, I know she doesn't fit my wife material, I know we're different, I know we wil never be compatible, and yet still I miss her.. Accepting our differences isn't the hard part, it's unnattaching from someone u are emotionally connected too, and dealing wit the dissapointment that they may have detached long before we have 😢

Don’t think the new partner will get what you wanted they won’t That is so meaningful to realize . Thank you Susan

Thanks ... very good ... very true .... So everyone ... ... Feel it - Grieve it - Don’t try to Retrieve it - Just Let it Go - So You Can Grow - And then Finally Glow !!

Thank you Susan ❤

Thank you, your video was so helpful. Your right my ex will never change. Once hot & cold always hot & cold. I suppose deep down I knew that but didnt want to face it.

Absolutely love these videos around this topic. Thanks Susan!

Thank You Susan !

On point as always Susan. You are such a guru

Great New Year’s advice....EXCELLENT!🤗 Thank you, Susan.

So very helpful! Thank you, Susan 😊

Once again. Thank you 👏🏻🙌🏻❤️

Thank you for this message, Susan. Just what I needed right now...

This is wonderful. I love listening to you more and more.

OMG!! This really hit home. Thank you so much for this video.

I adore you Susan! Thank you so much. this is so clear and obvious!

Ty very much! Much needed!

Susan you are the only coach that really resonates with me ❤️. I wish I would have discovered you sooner before playing all these games that male “relationship experts” suggest. Sometimes I wonder what the outcome could’ve been if I was honest and straight forward about what I wanted. Thank you Susan I will never play those coy games again.

@SusanWinter

3 жыл бұрын

Hi Jane. Thank you for the kind words. Start with where you are now. It will all be fine in the end

@williamsharman2159

3 жыл бұрын

Hi jane hope you're safe over there, i hope this year brings joy and happiness to all Americans

This is really good advice! Thank you.

Susan, you’re amazing!

Susan you are always spot on!!!!

Love this content Susan! ❤️

This video came at a perfect time. Thank you 🤍

Thank you Susan for your down to earth and very helpful advice for putting it all in perspective!

Susan hit the nail right on the head. Thank you.

Great advice. Thank you!

Thank you! That was so helpful and amazing how you explained it. Ive been going through this and it was like you hit bulls eye!

Thanks for touching on the fact that the next person who dates your ex is going to get what you got. It's too easy to think, "her next partner is going to get a polished version of her that I never saw, because I was her practice boyfriend to work the kinks out." While that may be partly the case bc we learn from each relationship, the patterns and areas with room for improvement are still largely there.

Thank you for more wise words Susan. So helpful for my situation 💗

thank you Susan i feel like I needed this today

I love this channel! Literally saving me from lot of self sabotaging

Love u Susan, life saver❤️

Ooh my God! Your advice hit me 😍😍 Thanks for this

Thank you Susan I needed to hear this today

you're just amazing! I love each video you make with such sincerity and wisdom

Susan,I just discovered your videos. Thank you so much. They have helped me already.

Love ya Susan! You’re amazing!

This is the most on point video I’ve ever seen on this feeling when a relationship ends. 💖

This couldn’t have came at a better time Susan, thank you so much💚

This really really spoke out to me and my situation; thank you so much ❤️❤️❤️

I felt some healing happen listen to this video. Thank You Susan💖 Just what I needed to hear

Thank you Susan! The Dream!!!

Thanks Susan my mind is open now! ❤❤❤

I love your content! I can listen to you for hours and I will never be bored!

This was timely for me and helpful, thank you.

Thank you so much dear. God bless you. Sending love and light.

Susan your words are just hitting all the right notes ❤❤❤ thanks so much for these videos!

Susan, you are awesome!

Thank you Susan. This totally helped me. Thought I was going mad...

Wow! Love the way you give advise. Your comprehension style is wow too!!!👏🔥❤️

This is so incredibly helpful. Thank you

Holy cow I'm literally in that exact situation!

Thank you so much I truly needed it Susan thank you so much you’ve been helping me a lot with your videos 💗

Thank you...I needed to hear this💕💋

this woman, preach goddess . I LOVE YOU . thank you

I....actually needed this. Thank you VERY much, Susan. You're too good for words.

Susan, why does it feel as if you speak directly to us, helping us... in each of your videos? Love from Kuala Lumpur

@SusanWinter

3 жыл бұрын

Oh, that's what I hope you feel. It's true. I only have the camera but I wish it were you in front of me. Thank you for your thoughtful comments

Love love love today's content!!

@SusanWinter

3 жыл бұрын

Thank you

The actor analogy is awesome!

Thanks so much Susan

Great video Susan 😊😊

I love your voice and the geniuness from you

You're the best, Susan. You're saving lives, thank you.

You are so wise Susan❤️🤗

Needed this today as I told him I'm going to go pick up the rest of my things. Thank you always for the honest message. Everything always works out, and you make your dreams work. Not anyone else.

Love this!! Thank you Susan 👏👏👏🙏💕 you put these relationship issues we struggle with, into an easy & politely blunt way... i like that "auditioning" part. Another of your great videos i must watch again & again to drum it in 😊 Shout out to you from WA 🇦🇺🌻

I love your videos, they help me so much! Feels like you are speaking right to me and my situation. Thank you for doing what you do Susan!

Wow. Just wow. This is everything I needed to hear x

@SusanWinter

3 жыл бұрын

Thank you for sharing that

I've been putting off watching this video for weeks. But now I'm ready.

Thank you beautiful lady for your wisdom and guidance.

Great perspective, Susan. Thank you!

@SusanWinter

Жыл бұрын

You are so welcome!

Thank you Susan for this one! It is hard to find the right words to describe what i want to tell myself... but the way you told this really resonated with me... and hopefully makes me able to move on better!

Beautifully said ; and, of course, it came at the right moment as I was pondering this dilemma myself ! Thank you, Susan, for bringing such clarilty ! Love the 'role / film' metaphor, it makes a lot of sense, as well as thanking for the dream being creating through meeting this person and now being able to carry it forward myself, and continuing to create it, make it even better by realizing that I deserve to have my dreams be fulfilled / come truen and that I deserve to feel fulfilled myself, by being myself !

Susan, you just have a way of getting thru to ppl; really appreciate your insight so much! Have the Merriest of Holidays Superstar ⭐♥️👍