"Let Me Postpone Having A Child": Why Young Couples Aren't Making Babies - Part 2 | Love Delayed

Love-wary actor Aaron Mossadeg explores why young people from Singapore and Asia delay marriage and parenthood. In Singapore and Hong Kong, he meets couples struggling with housing issues and limited space, learning its impact on family formation. Aaron examines if better gender equality in parenting might encourage more children. His quest leads him to Sweden, known for progressive parental leave policies, where he encounters a 'Latte Papa,' a symbol of modern fatherhood.
Reflecting on his own doubts about lifelong marriage, Aaron visits South Korea to explore the youth's growing preference for cohabitation over traditional wedlock. Finally, Aaron confronts misconceptions about fertility, testing his sperm and questioning the effectiveness of IVF as a last resort. Delays in childbearing may hinder the aspiration for larger families, but he finds hope in the supportive role of grandparents. Aaron merges personal and cultural insights on modern Asian family life.
WATCH MORE Love Delayed
Part 1: • Modern Love In Asia: W...
00:00 Introduction
01:44 Is housing important for family planning?
06:48 Are tiny living spaces hurting Hong Kong's families?
12:49 Challenges that working mothers face
14:45 The importance of supportive fathers
16:29 Shared parental leave in Sweden and the "latte papa"
21:17 Stay-home dads in Singapore
25:39 Realities of marriage and divorce
28:55 Why cohabitation is rising in South Korea
34:53 Are fit people more fertile? And other misconceptions
37:49 One couple's IVF story
41:33 Impact of grandparents on childbearing
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About the show: Aaron Mossadeg, a love-wary actor and commitment-phobe, explores what delays love, marriage and parenthood in Singapore and Asia, seeking answers and solutions from around the world.
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Пікірлер: 294

  • @wakingmoments2023
    @wakingmoments20233 ай бұрын

    You want women to have babies. You want women to work. You want the workforce to be constantly upgrading. Have you looked at the prices at the school canteen? Why wouldn’t you consider paid maternity leave for mothers who are jobless during pregnancy because of various reasons? So calculative & so much of demands on women. You can’t have your eggs & expect things to be better when it’s better to be childless and face much lesser expectations and demands.

  • @defibae

    @defibae

    3 ай бұрын

    THIS! society won't take care of women and mothers so why should they bear the next generation of tax payers 😂

  • @annthropomorphous

    @annthropomorphous

    3 ай бұрын

    @@defibae because the next generation of retirees would be YOU.

  • @ladybug3380

    @ladybug3380

    3 ай бұрын

    @@annthropomorphousthe robots will take care of us.

  • @TheZagrean

    @TheZagrean

    3 ай бұрын

    @@ladybug3380I have no idee what age are you but old people will probably be treated like trash in the future…even now old people are not treated properly.

  • @kinnofthewest988

    @kinnofthewest988

    3 ай бұрын

    ​@@TheZagrean Even more reason to save for retirement instead of having kids when money is this tight!! Just thinking about missing employer match while on leave or being stay at home parent makes me think it's not worth it. Years of early investment lost.

  • @savagesweetheart90
    @savagesweetheart903 ай бұрын

    I already work in a stressful field (law) and I just want to go home after a hard day of work and just enjoy the peace and quiet and just look out for myself and husband. If that makes me "selfish" ok, I don't care. Live and let live. There are PLENTY of parents that have children that really shouldn't.

  • @RosetteAckesson

    @RosetteAckesson

    Ай бұрын

    Not 'selfish' bute wise. So many people have kids for the wrong reasons. I wish society starts questioning people who actually want kids and stop pressuring people who don't want them

  • @sunnywintermorning1941

    @sunnywintermorning1941

    21 күн бұрын

    You’re missing out. Kids are the best.

  • @shem44

    @shem44

    12 күн бұрын

    @@sunnywintermorning1941not everyone is suitable to be parents.

  • @sunnywintermorning1941

    @sunnywintermorning1941

    12 күн бұрын

    @@shem44 Absolutely agree. Of equal relevance to my earlier remark, I’d add that not every day in Australia is sunny.

  • @Buttercookiesssss
    @Buttercookiesssss3 ай бұрын

    "Spend within your means" same for kids. Have children only if you u can afford to bring them up properly. It's not just financially but also time, energy, lots of effort.

  • @1bluegreen2

    @1bluegreen2

    3 ай бұрын

    I'm happy to be alive. Didn't have perfect parents, but that's just 2 debates at most....I have the rest of my life to enjoy, learn, better myself. Parents usually try their best. Kids will grow up and learn if given the basics. Our society isn't having kids because of shallow selfish values where people punished for having kids

  • @Callsign-Blade_RunnerSG

    @Callsign-Blade_RunnerSG

    3 ай бұрын

    @Buttercookiesssss Lol, you speak as if getting pregnant is a “sure thing” and parents can “certainly “plan” their way around. I’ve seen COUNTLESS couples who THOUGHT that once they are financially ready to only find out that they can’t have a baby of their own. 🤦🏼

  • @metalheadlass9868

    @metalheadlass9868

    3 ай бұрын

    @@1bluegreen2not happy to be alive. I don’t want my kids to constantly stress about being homeless like me.

  • @rayvincent7524
    @rayvincent75243 ай бұрын

    I don't want my kids to be born poor.

  • @rayvincent7524

    @rayvincent7524

    3 ай бұрын

    @@BeatniKkers Not hating poor people, but to me it is a sin to bring kids into this world poor.

  • @NewsSeriously

    @NewsSeriously

    3 ай бұрын

    @@rayvincent7524 it actually builds character. But you do you.

  • @vee.3029

    @vee.3029

    3 ай бұрын

    ​@@NewsSeriously when your child hates you for negligence for giving birth to them but not giving them the life they deserve then you'll know.

  • @NewsSeriously

    @NewsSeriously

    3 ай бұрын

    @@vee.3029 Then don't neglect them.

  • @vee.3029

    @vee.3029

    3 ай бұрын

    @@NewsSeriously Maybe because your intelligence or reading comprehension is low but not neglecting means having funds to cater to both their financial and emotional needs so poor people can't do it unless they're financially stable. End of story

  • @ohleemartin7184
    @ohleemartin71843 ай бұрын

    High cost of living is what stopping young families from having children

  • @mysterioanonymous3206

    @mysterioanonymous3206

    3 ай бұрын

    No. Nowadays people want to travel, live luxurious, hsve nice cars, have hobbies, go out... Kids just don't fit into that lifestyle. Or rather, they set different priorities. People nowadays all think having a nanny is normal, even necessary, so they don't have to compromise anything 😂 But that reality isn't going to happen for most. So this is what we get instead. Wishful thinking. Complaining. Delusional takes on the issue. Couldn't care less about that.

  • @gizamlukeable

    @gizamlukeable

    3 ай бұрын

    @@mysterioanonymous3206 Both not wrong, but it is the competitiveness and chasing of GDP as a whole that resulted in mind set change. Most families need both couple to bring dough back.

  • @anticommunist-sg3cn

    @anticommunist-sg3cn

    3 ай бұрын

    then why is philippines having 7 or 8 babies per woman? just visit the slums@@gizamlukeable "high cost of living" that's just BS. the real reason is that you're not marrying early and you're lazy. have more sex.

  • @anticommunist-sg3cn

    @anticommunist-sg3cn

    3 ай бұрын

    "high cost of living" things went DOWN in price. why is it that our ancestors with much less technology and less money managed to have more kids? the real reason is because you're lazy and don't want to raise up 4 children.

  • @zerohero5753

    @zerohero5753

    3 ай бұрын

    ​@@mysterioanonymous3206Having a nanny is a Singapore and Hong Kong only thing. In all other developed countries it is a luxury reserved for the rich.

  • @poorpotato7623
    @poorpotato76233 ай бұрын

    When the pigs are not breeding, it’s not the pigs that are worried but the farmers.

  • @hell0h0bbit

    @hell0h0bbit

    3 ай бұрын

    Farmers ain't worried cos they can breed other livestock? Aka immigrates, pigs ain't that special

  • @ngcy21

    @ngcy21

    3 ай бұрын

    But but but . The pigs will eventually have to be worried bcos the farmers gonna tax them to take care of the older pigs.

  • @ngcy21

    @ngcy21

    3 ай бұрын

    Unless farmers import new pigs

  • @zerohero5753

    @zerohero5753

    3 ай бұрын

    ​@@ngcy21Singapore importing plenty of cattle. No need to worry about that 😂

  • @Maya-sv1pz

    @Maya-sv1pz

    3 ай бұрын

    which is why I don't care about the racist rant about immigrants taking over our cultures and jobs, when the farmers are the one importing them by the lot blaming us for not reproducing enough while they only help the rich and still use us vs immigrant agenda to win votes. they just want to keep us busy fighting with each other while they slaughter us. welcome immigrants. take over the country. I don't care, I will live a good life and leave this world. it's not my problem. it's all done on purpose by the very people who tell us to hate immigrants. this but all organic growth. I might migrate myself. who knows

  • @mnecmonic
    @mnecmonic3 ай бұрын

    it's not just the monetary issue, many ppl overlooked the responsibility, time and energy resource , plus the mental and emotional of parents...

  • @shurakishi4707
    @shurakishi47073 ай бұрын

    i am married 2 years ago, earn decent income, and me and my wife are not keen at present for kids. I also do not see kids as a possibility in the medium or long term future. Like what this 2 part series have mentioned. There is alot at stake and alot of responsibility. I am a health professional and I have seen how merciless society and nature is, seeing sick kids and families burdened with taking care of sick children and/or elderly parents. Both myself and my wife are working adults. As of now, we feel that if we have a kid in, one of us have to give up something. Will that be enough for the bills, mortgage etc? We earn way above median income levels but really raising up a kid isn't just about the money involved. (Even though the money factor is increasingly a cause for concern). It is simply too much effort and time and for occupations like ours, I doubt we have the energy at the end of hard day's work to tend to kids. Many will say - our parents have done the same. I shall say that work today is not the same compared to yesteryear. Ppl are working longer, jobs have become more demanding.

  • @lvega5606

    @lvega5606

    2 ай бұрын

    I chose not to have children for multiple reasons. Each reason on its own would be enough justification to not have a child. Aside from the responsibility, energy, and expense, the world is a very cruel place. Just look at how humans treat animals. Look at how humans treat humans. So much suffering. Life is not a gift, and people can't give consent to be born, so I'm not going to be selfish and breed people who likely don't want to be here.

  • @Bunny11344

    @Bunny11344

    2 ай бұрын

    💯 and our mental health has been greatly affected. Times were much simpler back then

  • @abramswee
    @abramswee3 ай бұрын

    The living condition is getting more stressful, costly and harder by the days. Why would anyone want to add on more burdens and cost to themselves? Glutton for punishment? Having kids doesn't mean that they will take care of you when you get old. The days of having children to fund one's retirement is long gone. You really have to be productive and economically viable until the day you kick the bucket. So ideally, better save all the money that you would spend on your children instead.

  • @wennnnn2307
    @wennnnn23073 ай бұрын

    For me, it’s the responsibility. Of course you can delegate that to a helper but I personally will not do that. Having a child is hard. That’s why I decided to stop at 1.

  • @koalatheworld

    @koalatheworld

    3 ай бұрын

    I decided to remain single and be childfree.

  • @zerohero5753

    @zerohero5753

    3 ай бұрын

    ​@@koalatheworldLol have fun in your old care home with no visitor

  • @rayvincent7524

    @rayvincent7524

    3 ай бұрын

    ​​@@zerohero5753He may be an introvert or he may have friends. Alone does not mean lonely.

  • @eunagiii

    @eunagiii

    3 ай бұрын

    ​@@zerohero5753 do you know many people with kids end up with no visitation in an old folks' home anyway? having kids doesnt guarantee they will stick around when you are old jeez.

  • @jenmar9428

    @jenmar9428

    3 ай бұрын

    @@zerohero5753, your comment is so ironic. I live in Europe. My mom lives in the Caribbean. She will definitely end up in a nursing home. And I can visit her max once a year. I haven’t seen her in 10 years. 🤷🏽‍♀️ Last time we spoke was 2021.

  • @martinbrock713
    @martinbrock7133 ай бұрын

    For those citizens who do not have a monthly income like the many senior citizens and housewives and even middle class citizens who have lost their well-paid jobs, to keep pace with the daily living cost is a struggle.

  • @poorpotato7623
    @poorpotato76233 ай бұрын

    24% divorce, how many unhappy but still tough it out for the kids, property, religion, instagram etc?

  • @dm-jf5uu
    @dm-jf5uu3 ай бұрын

    So should I work 70 hrs a week and have a kid? No thank you

  • @kozue174

    @kozue174

    2 ай бұрын

    It’s very common to work 70 hours a week without over hours paid in Japan. It’s good place to visit in Japan but not work

  • @dualsoul7398

    @dualsoul7398

    2 ай бұрын

    ​​@@kozue174man....work culture in Japan is really sad...most the employee doesn't have "me time", let alone a time for ;if they had; family..

  • @honeybee176
    @honeybee1763 ай бұрын

    First world countries aren’t having as many babies as our governments want us too, but this is primarily because we are set up for failure. It’s too expensive to live, it’s too expensive to raise children, and add on those countries that don’t have set policies for paternity leave and healthcare. My husband and I would love to have a baby right now, but we can’t afford it. We wanted a house before we had a kid, but now that we bought a very modest house, that’s all we can afford. We have no room in our budget to have a kid even though we both work full-time. It honestly sucks for those of us that do want kid(s). I’m particularly frustrated as I have two degrees in Business and still can’t make enough money to be comfortable.

  • @Callsign-Blade_RunnerSG

    @Callsign-Blade_RunnerSG

    2 ай бұрын

    Absolutely agree with you. I know of a friend whom worked in ST Engineering Aerospace Defence. He has 3 very young kids and 2 old folks to care for. Unfortunately due to insufficient paternity and parental leaves, he had to resort to MCs or unpaid leaves in order to manage. Guess what, despite the manager knowing his difficulties. Not only did the company remove his bonuses due to so called “very poor performance” in his appraisal. He even gave my friend a write up and a PIP to force him to leave the company… Mind you, this company is earning 100 percent of Taxpayers money while at the same time indirectly discouraging the other employees not to have children.

  • @TomGrob

    @TomGrob

    Ай бұрын

    Don't forget IRS collecting a big chunk of your wage.

  • @user-ll1nc2ru4t
    @user-ll1nc2ru4t3 ай бұрын

    I think having this type of shared parental leave and just more leave for both mother and father here in the states would have such a big trickle-down effect on our population. Imagine how much more well-rounded those kids are going to be when they have two parents undivided attention for the first year arguably the most important and hardest year in a child's life

  • @jader7060
    @jader70602 ай бұрын

    Children are optional. Not everyone needs to have them. I think that’s what society and most families are forgetting.

  • @TheMariemarie16

    @TheMariemarie16

    Ай бұрын

    But if half of society decides not to have a child this may indicate a societal problem

  • @marcusong9321
    @marcusong93213 ай бұрын

    My staff have 4. It is really a struggle for her and her hubby financially. In Sg, your need some financial stability to maintain some order in the family....otherwise it is not healthy at all.

  • @keybgbeez5713
    @keybgbeez57133 ай бұрын

    Having children let alone a relationship is too expensive these days

  • @Bunny11344

    @Bunny11344

    2 ай бұрын

    Both can contribute in a relationship but it’s too much money and time for kids and I don’t even like them

  • @lissalow
    @lissalow3 ай бұрын

    In the past, when people lived in smaller communities, they would usually marry one of their neighbours, someone they have known since childhood, or their parents are long time friends and matchmade them.. But now, most people living in cities don't have such long term friendships and connections. They have to meet a total stranger and then build a life with someone who may not share the same upbringing, values, expectations. This is a city-life problem.

  • @lilamontoya5609
    @lilamontoya56093 ай бұрын

    🤚🏽I'm not having kids And it's the best decision for me

  • @Bunny11344

    @Bunny11344

    2 ай бұрын

    Same, I was never interested even as a teen

  • @Theloverboy2987
    @Theloverboy29873 ай бұрын

    If you can see how much you suffer in this world with life. Why would you want to have a child so they can go through what you have had to go through ? Sounds selfish to me. Only way you should have a kid is if you can guarantee them a life without money worries.

  • @mysterioanonymous3206
    @mysterioanonymous32063 ай бұрын

    Many Zoo animals also stop breeding. Too much stress 😂 Seriously. Its stressful yeah? Crowded. Rampant consumerism. Never ending competition. No wonder people priorities their mental health over more stress and pressure.

  • @zerohero5753

    @zerohero5753

    3 ай бұрын

    Bringing a child into this world is evil if you are not rich

  • @mysterioanonymous3206

    @mysterioanonymous3206

    3 ай бұрын

    @@zerohero5753 nonsense. I know a few rich kids, a lot of them are lacking, incomplete humans, they have no clue what's going. A lot of them are high a lot. All raised by nannies, caretakers and absent parents, never experienced love. They also never experienced hardship, meaning they never formed a mature character. These are amongst the most psychopathic, detached people you will ever meet. 🤡

  • @kentang1528

    @kentang1528

    3 ай бұрын

    Rich or poor..it is not worth it. Life is very cruel in itself and bringing kids into this world is a very selfish thing to do

  • @sistermadrigalmorning233

    @sistermadrigalmorning233

    2 ай бұрын

    This is one of the best succinct explanations I've seen.

  • @beverlyteh4676
    @beverlyteh46763 ай бұрын

    What a strange couple to be married and still live separately with their parents. Surely the relationship is the most important thing as opposed to the interior design? So odd

  • @teresaharris-travelbybooks5564

    @teresaharris-travelbybooks5564

    2 ай бұрын

    That's what I thought. They seemed more concerned with their dream furniture.

  • @joseygonzalez1800
    @joseygonzalez18003 ай бұрын

    i'm so glad i never wanted kids. it sucks for people who want them nowadays. in the US at least, childcare is so expensive, very little leave for new parents, housing, etc. it's so hard.

  • @lilamontoya5609

    @lilamontoya5609

    3 ай бұрын

    People who do want can foster

  • @BedtimeTalesforMamas
    @BedtimeTalesforMamas3 ай бұрын

    I am in the US and I only have one and done. The cost is ridiculous and I would love to give my daughter experiences that I didn't get since I was a brood of 3 in extremely low income bracket

  • @ninthvalkyrie
    @ninthvalkyrie3 ай бұрын

    Excellent writing! Enjoyed watching this and learning something new.

  • @akk2018
    @akk20183 ай бұрын

    In Singapore, public transportation is over crowded. Private hires requires the use of child carseats, silly to be lugging a Carseat while you're out and about. Taxis are unpredictable, often times you can't get one. Cars cost 1/2 of what it would cost to get a govt subsidised flat. Essentially having a kid means you can forget about breathing the outside air and feeling the sun on your face anymore.

  • @joeyjoey22

    @joeyjoey22

    3 ай бұрын

    To give u a different POV of other countries, there’s absolutely no functioning public transportation and you have to drive far for anything. There’s no convenience like in Singapore and in comparison taxis in Singapore would seem easy to get with an app, anywhere. Nowhere can you find the amount of space in Singapore for just SGD500k, usually that would come with hefty property taxes and cost much more.

  • @sidewalkslam

    @sidewalkslam

    3 ай бұрын

    you are right. and when your toddler gets on public transport and asks endless questions, be prepared to get dagger stares from others even though you are already trying your best to shush the fellow. when you rely on devices to keep them quiet so as not to disturb the other commuters, be prepared to be criticised for not parenting as well. and i don't even blame commuters. singapore is so crowded and devoid of a third space that everyone craves peace and quiet.

  • @akk2018

    @akk2018

    3 ай бұрын

    @@sidewalkslam this is so relatable.

  • @miketess3358
    @miketess33583 ай бұрын

    Cost of living is crazy everywhere

  • @joyndem6574
    @joyndem65742 ай бұрын

    This was very done. Thank you for sharing all the stories and insight.

  • @grahamashe9715
    @grahamashe97153 ай бұрын

    To quote the late and renowned scientist, Carl Sagan (taken from his last book, ‘Billions and Billions’, published in 1997) with reference to overpopulation: "Our job is to bring about a worldwide demographic transition and flatten out that exponential curve-by eliminating grinding poverty, making safe and effective birth control methods widely available, and extending real political power (executive, legislative, judicial, military, and in institutions influencing public opinion) to women. If we fail to bring about a worldwide demographic transition... some other process, less under our control, will do it for us."

  • @falsestart11
    @falsestart112 ай бұрын

    Very well done video!

  • @useridcn
    @useridcn2 ай бұрын

    It's only too expensive because it costs a lot of freedom and time

  • @tishtash321
    @tishtash3212 ай бұрын

    Our parents generation told us get your education, so we do, and that delays things. And then we graduate and employers want 5 years in our field before hiring us. And when we do get hired we get paid pennies because we're desperate for work. And pathetic support and financial compensation for women who have to leave work temporarily to start a family. Then the world we've been left with, the cost of living is sooo high most can't afford a house.ajd are stuck renting. Then meeting someone who is decent in a social media world where no one has real people skills in person in next to impossible. And our generation is also more aware of our mental health and see our parents generation as never dealing with their issues. We don't want to pass our issues on to the next generation. Add all of that together and these are the reasons people our age are not having children.

  • @itsdanning9528
    @itsdanning95282 ай бұрын

    Good video, very informative and based on diverse opinions. I've not really wanted to have children in most of my adulthood as I grappled with my own mental health and other life struggles. Now that things are finally getting better for me and I've opened myself up to deeper relationships ( not just romantic) with others, I am starting to see the possibility of me having children in the foreseeble future. Now I've got to do is find my person, and get pregnant, which this and the previous episode has shown is not the least bit easy. Good luck to us all in finding life and love!!

  • @roccatx1509
    @roccatx15093 ай бұрын

    The main reason for marriage, having children etc all stems from the increase in cost of living. The bottom line is, whatever our parents provided for us when we are kids, young families now are unable to replicate that. I come from a middle income family, back then when i was a kid, I was staying in a 5 room HDB flat in the central southern area, my family had a car and I also have an older brother. Now at this time, a 4 room BTO in central location + 2 Kids + Car is definitely not within the means of a middle income family looking for a comfortable living standard.

  • @bobafett5757
    @bobafett57573 ай бұрын

    *Great episode and Aaron is such an excellent host his eyes and smile so gorgeous*

  • @Natividad_Yen
    @Natividad_Yen19 күн бұрын

    I'm 33 and still single.. Old friends and relatives always asking me when I will get married and have my own child coz they know that I do love babies. My answer is always like, "I'll think about it" or "I'm not yet ready". The reality is I'm not financially ready, I want to have my own family without the worry of what food I'm gonna put on the table, where can I get money to buy medicine etc. It is so expensive.

  • @nikkikhooniqi
    @nikkikhooniqi3 ай бұрын

    Though I’m mostly home, the responsibility is endless and I’m tired. All my rest time is now spent on my energetic toddler. Childcare is tough, so I don’t trust my helper to do both the house chores and childcare. May have a 2nd only when my mum retires in two years time.

  • @MB-xv7er
    @MB-xv7erАй бұрын

    Cost of living and a layoff economy is why birth rates are dying and I’m happy about it. The government just wants more tax payers and people are shutting that down real quick

  • @marvint480
    @marvint4803 ай бұрын

    The fact that the couple is being choosy despite HDB had offered a unit. They don’t deserve to complain. Very likely, their intention is to flip at better locations. HDB was right to reject their appeal

  • @marvint480

    @marvint480

    3 ай бұрын

    ​@@vijay20 If the couple weren't offered a unit. I would totally agree with you. However, HDB indeed offered a unit. They rejected it citing poor location etc. That is what I call picky. In life, I was offered only one choice. Despite the outcome wasn't my choice, I took it with stride. Every Singaporeans wanted good location. what makes them different from the rest? Resale complain expensive, offered a unit complain inaccessible. Younger Singaporeans are spoiled brats who wanted every single thing in their favor.

  • @ajjulien1812
    @ajjulien18123 ай бұрын

    Motherhood looks like Hell

  • @elliewang008

    @elliewang008

    3 ай бұрын

    Feel sorry for you. I love every bit of motherhood.

  • @dm-jf5uu

    @dm-jf5uu

    3 ай бұрын

    It is unless you are rich

  • @laurenm.6320

    @laurenm.6320

    2 ай бұрын

    For what it’s worth, motherhood has been the best part of my entire life

  • @yeshalloween

    @yeshalloween

    2 ай бұрын

    Motherhood is the greatest joy of my life. I have 5.

  • @cayk9444

    @cayk9444

    2 ай бұрын

    @@elliewang008 there’s no way you love “every bit” of motherhood. That’s that romanticism b.s that misleads people. I love my kids to the ends of the earth, but there are certainly parts of motherhood that straight up are not a good time lol, are they worth it? Yea. But it is definitely not always enjoyable.

  • @chip7486
    @chip74863 ай бұрын

    Whoa.. Shocked by the comments made by the boss to the returning mom. Feel like they would be illegal where I am. And imagine what he would say if he heard about our 18 MONTHS of parental leave. Think his brain would blow up. And if he thinks caring for a newborn is a vacation, he clearly doesn't know anything

  • @happyleaf9635

    @happyleaf9635

    3 ай бұрын

    18 months of paid parental leave?! Which country are u from?

  • @chip7486

    @chip7486

    3 ай бұрын

    @@happyleaf9635 Canada. It was 12, but you can extend it to 18. However, it's the same amount spread out so many people still do 12. And it's parental leave, so the family decides how to split it up

  • @CaraMarie13

    @CaraMarie13

    3 ай бұрын

    18 months and the comments would probably be about how she had been gone so long, shes a new person!

  • @dwzA12345
    @dwzA123453 ай бұрын

    With more focus on productivity, there are probably more and more people facing similar setbacks when performance come into play

  • @martinbrock713
    @martinbrock7133 ай бұрын

    I had also underestimated Singaporeans’ (especially younger Singaporeans’) desire for fairness, accountability and decency in our political system.

  • @danielc1792

    @danielc1792

    3 ай бұрын

    Malaysian here, born and raised. Singaporean politicians are SAINTS compared to what we have here.

  • @Callsign-Blade_RunnerSG
    @Callsign-Blade_RunnerSG3 ай бұрын

    Lol, so many comments here speaking as if getting pregnant is a “sure thing” and parents can “certainly “plan” their way around. I’ve seen COUNTLESS couples who THOUGHT that once they are financially ready to only find out that they can’t have a baby of their own. 🤦🏼

  • @saeedhossain6099
    @saeedhossain60992 ай бұрын

    the high level of sacrifice required for having kids is just too unpalatable for most, frankly that's a good thing to be honest. most people of the current generation don't have it in them to make it work, and if that is recognized, it's good. but don't get it confused, being unwilling or resentful of their kids for the lifestyle sacrifice is not a cost of living issue, its a cost of lifestyle issue. for example when the walled city existed in Kowloon, people still had kids. corporate suits living in central dont have kids because work culture wont allow the time to raise kids.

  • @veeandrea
    @veeandrea3 ай бұрын

    Gender equality does not mean gender similarity. Of course the mother has more leave - she is the one who has to physically heal from childbirth and breastfeed should she choose to.

  • @alfi9255

    @alfi9255

    3 ай бұрын

    The father could then have parental leave to take care of the child (while the mother recovers)

  • @zeloto
    @zeloto2 ай бұрын

    🥺 I wish we could get a 4 bedroom flat in Melbourne for $315,000 cant even get a studio apartment for that much in the city. a 4 bedroom apartment near the city would be at least $1,000,000 minimum

  • @maxyogi
    @maxyogi3 ай бұрын

    Hell yes! The primary expenses/concerns from having chilsren are... 1) Health Insurance 2) adequate income streams and hence requisite savings 3) Education. Private schools now cost in excess of $US15k per year in any Developed country. 4) University cost 5) adequate housing to better enable them to grow well. 6) Time/Energy commitment. 7) Stress 8) Money to buy them things they want and not just need to Survive. 9) Money to buy an appropriate (and hence More expensive) car(s) to accommodate them. 10) Vacation expenses and prioritizing vacations that put their interests first and foremost. We already have a Global population ocer 8Bn people. Of which atleast 3Bn are under the age of 25.

  • @musikeradaw
    @musikeradaw2 ай бұрын

    My Swedish friends don’t like this because they are forced to take off. If they need money and one is willing to work, they cannot do it apparently.

  • @rentonho
    @rentonho3 ай бұрын

    Our precious son Dominic! Grabbing the first shot! So proud of you

  • @dianaaugustine5438
    @dianaaugustine54382 ай бұрын

    All this talk of gender equality for parental leave irks me. Pregnancy and postpartum is not equal. Mothers physically need that time. Fathers don’t. I spent 9 months battling nausea and vomiting and underwent emergency major abdominal surgery to save my child. After his birth, I woke up every 2 hours to nurse for the better part of a year. It took me a long time to build back my strength and stamina. Nothing happened to my husband’s body. He was fine. I needed his help getting up and doing basic tasks for a couple weeks, but after that, he was able to return to work and further his career and provide for our family while I recovered and bonded with the baby I was physically and chemically responsive to in a way his father was not. Nature isn’t equal. We only harm women when we act like equal parental leave is in their best interest. It is not. It down plays the very real sacrifices mothers make to bring life into the world.

  • @yipeyaya

    @yipeyaya

    2 ай бұрын

    Very well said!!! I love this comment!!! I hate it when my male colleagues/friends talk about it. Like women suffers the most!! Guys would never understand it!

  • @winks12
    @winks123 ай бұрын

    Frankly, HDB should be more transparent in what that so-called complex matrix in the balloting process is comprised of, otherwise it's likely an unfair process and a black box. I've also known of many couples like the one featured in the video that has failed to get a ballot after multiple times. Unless you're placed in their shoes, people/even the ruling MPs should stop criticising that they're choosy in their selection. Housing property is for long-term. Yet, there've been cases in the past in which some in the past managed to get 'lucky' on their application but are merely treating the property as a transient investment to profit out of it.

  • @wrongamount

    @wrongamount

    2 ай бұрын

    Many couples are planning to sell off their HDB after living off their 5-year lease which makes this justifiable. Though I can safely argue that I can probably make more through proper stock trading LOL

  • @michellemichelle2056
    @michellemichelle20563 ай бұрын

    Our houses are too small. We were used to living in bigger houses when we were young. Nowadays the newer flats are smaller. Having more kids means the space becomes more cramped and no space for helper too. The restrictions for MOP also mean families gotta wait til they can upgrade or move somewhere nearer parents before they havr another kid.

  • @randomdigress
    @randomdigress3 ай бұрын

    Parenting had been solved and with how parents wanting the best for their kids, the sheer thought of such responsibility to raise the perfect kid is quite paralyzing. I wonder if it is time to reimagine a dystopian future where it is national responsibility to produce and groom children.

  • @animecat889
    @animecat8892 ай бұрын

    My partner really wants kids one day, but i dont see how we will ever afford it if we lose all or even some of my income. It's just not financially possible.

  • @YMWong-cb6ke
    @YMWong-cb6ke2 ай бұрын

    It is OK not to have children if you cannot afford to. It is a lot better than those who cannot afford and yet have kids; worse still are those who cannot afford to have one kid yet have multiple number of them. To me, those are not humans, multiply themselves senseless and reckless and yet don't feel any regret for what they have done. The more you help them, the more they will think that they should be helped. They conduct their lives as if others own them a living. Take care of yourself first before you multiply yourself. That is the most sensible thing to do.

  • @os2841

    @os2841

    2 ай бұрын

    Yup. Indians mostly.

  • @cayk9444
    @cayk94442 ай бұрын

    For me, I didn’t find my person until age 30. I mean, I could have got knocked up in my 20s, but that would have been a hot mess.

  • @danwithguitar
    @danwithguitar3 ай бұрын

    We're broke, there's your story CNA.

  • @zhixuanchen6914
    @zhixuanchen6914Ай бұрын

    The real deeper issues were not addressed. The huge influx of immigrants, the overemphasis of relentless competition for grades in school , all that adding to an uncertain possibility of decent employment outlook just forced young couples to reconsider having more kids. Guilt tripping average Singaporeans using videos like this is simply just pushing the blame around.

  • @Confidence_and_Fitness
    @Confidence_and_Fitness3 ай бұрын

    The rich pap and gangs can give birth 10 -100 sons for SAF.

  • @eunagiii
    @eunagiii3 ай бұрын

    bto; reject bc of location (alr hard to even be shortlisted) resale: too expensive money can be earned. time cannot be. this couple doesnt seem to know their priorities. you want cheap and good? not gonna be possible..you have to sacrifice something. cmon man wth.

  • @caroline.3885
    @caroline.38853 ай бұрын

    Alot of the times it is on the news here in Sweden that they complain about people not choosing kids as much even though it is good with money for it. Are other reasons people don't want to here in Sweden aswell in other countries. The money part dosent seem that big of a factor. There are more reasons for it than money. It is more okay to do what you want now. It was different in other generations with culture now you are more free to do what you want.

  • @jessicalim1379
    @jessicalim137921 сағат бұрын

    Reflect: Thanks CNA Insider for sharing the topic. It is TIME to deal with the root cause of issues. Indeed, our worldwide challenge doesn't come from having a child or children in the family BUT it is the Beast System that causes tonnes of trouble on this planet. The ONLY solution to solve the problem is *REFORMA (New Heaven and New Earth)* . God Is Love! 🙏🏻💕🌻🌏💕🌈

  • @daniellebrooks7510
    @daniellebrooks75103 ай бұрын

    Im 40 no kids life to expensive as it is

  • @maris7
    @maris73 ай бұрын

    Dads and moms get 16 weeks paid leave from work after a child is born, yet the birth rate is still one of the lowest in Europe, somewhere around 1.2. I don’t think equality of the sexes will fix the birth rate issue, because the sexes have different needs. In reality, women do not have the choice to stay home and dedicate themselves to their kids for 5-10 years, unless their partner can provide for the whole family with a single income, which is super rare nowadays. And unfortunately no matter how much we would love to romanticize it, most working women don’t respect a stay at home dad in the long run. Perhaps that’s also one of the reasons divorce is so high.

  • @dianaaugustine5438

    @dianaaugustine5438

    2 ай бұрын

    Exactly. Men and women are different. I stay home with my kids. This whole equality thing is b.s. My husband didn’t carry the babies. He didn’t spend 9 months vomiting. He didn’t go through the physical labor/pain of having the babies. He didn’t need to recover from an emergency surgery. He didn’t nurse the babies at his breast. I did. He didn’t need to stay home. I did. If he had sent me out to work when I was still recovering and waking up throughout the night while he stayed home. I would have thought he was weak and cowardly.

  • @CaraMarie13
    @CaraMarie133 ай бұрын

    I grew up with very little means and this has informed my views. I am extremely lucky, and i say lucky because I recognize i sure af couldn't work hard enough against the odds i was against, to have changed my financial future so why would i risk a near certain future of struggles by having a kid thats a money and emotional bottomless pit? Also, lol on the older father's and the cohabitation. Like am at leastf that while they aren't against it, they aren't disowning their kids for looking at it different. As someone who is not looking for marriage (ever) cohabitation is something I take probably as serious as these older father's treat marriage. Like I may not ve marrying this person but the laws in my state give the other person rights to be in that apartment after some time. So i taje it seriously because it could turn into a court issue with lawyers involved just to get this person out.

  • @charlottebreton6796
    @charlottebreton6796Ай бұрын

    I own my place, but wouldn't be able to if I had to financially take care of a child. I can't imagine ever being able to afford more than 1 child. Unless I win the lottery or marry rich thats just not an option.

  • @bentbent7
    @bentbent73 ай бұрын

    Artificially deflate the wages of local while increasing the minimum requirements for EP. This is what you get: Low local birth rate

  • @wolfdreamer8113
    @wolfdreamer8113Ай бұрын

    short answer yes, long answer hell yes.

  • @bobafett5757
    @bobafett57573 ай бұрын

    *Kim Lin looks like Chen Li Ping*

  • @beatpirate8
    @beatpirate8Ай бұрын

    having kids later in later 30s means more money ivf. many people i know do ivf many times up to 7 times. its so expensive to do ivf i wish we all knew and had kids early on

  • @martinbrock713
    @martinbrock7133 ай бұрын

    COST OF LIVING simply means the daily living cost incurred in keeping pace with the purchase of goods and services with the money he earns from his salary or enterprise.

  • @jarrodyuki7081
    @jarrodyuki70813 ай бұрын

    im NEVER marrying or having children!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • @Christinebanks11

    @Christinebanks11

    Ай бұрын

    🎶all that she wants is another baby.🎶😆

  • @moriahspaulding321
    @moriahspaulding3212 ай бұрын

    I got married the first time at 18 I had 3 kids I couldn't afford it was so rough fast forward to today now I'm 30 I remarried and I'm hoping to have one more child with my husband we are going the IVF route . When thinking back I wonder how I made ends meet on so little income.

  • @Bunny11344

    @Bunny11344

    2 ай бұрын

    Times were cheaper back then idk how you even afford it now

  • @weiwenang1302
    @weiwenang13023 ай бұрын

    High cost of living already produce so many lower income single and even many lower income marry couple not having baby. Need help all by lower the cost of living. As child of lower income. i always feel my income not enough for marry. Still single because of it

  • @user-cv1mb2xe6d
    @user-cv1mb2xe6d2 ай бұрын

    High cost of living but salary less than $2k per month for a gov job … still needs pay for utilities bills , housing loans even with CPF…still needs pay cash😂

  • @summerwine121
    @summerwine1213 ай бұрын

    Not expensive but so tiring!

  • @geeem7889
    @geeem78892 ай бұрын

    Ppl are not having children because frankly, in most countries it's so expensive to have them. Even to just take care of oneself financially can be hard. Rent and mortgage prices have soared, food is expensive, daycare is expensive, maternity leave is lacking and if so, not enough if any pay provided, people don't have enough support..often live far away from family. Even if they live close, a lot of ppl have to work till later now because they don't have enough money put aside for retirement. They say it takes a village to raise kids, but we've lost that sense of community. How can ppl have children in an environment like this that basically screams...don't? It's the type of society we've created and until something drastically changes, less and less ppl will have kids. Can't blame them. Then theres those that just don't want to have kids cuz they prioritize other stuff, which is totally fair. I firmly believe that you should only have kids if you want to as it's a life changing decision and major responsibility. But I really think the world we live in is greatly discouraging ppl from having kids.

  • @weiyongl
    @weiyongl3 ай бұрын

    first kid at 39. wife at 35. mainly no space and career.😢

  • @noisybiscuits2476
    @noisybiscuits24763 ай бұрын

    Sounds exhausting.

  • @raquel7123
    @raquel71232 ай бұрын

    Sorry to say, but children should only come from rich families. You're struggling and if you bring a child, he or she might face the same fate.

  • @sebbstarr7453
    @sebbstarr74533 ай бұрын

    perhaps an artificial womb would be the solutions and daycare centre or robot as nanny might can solve some of the issues. 😅 maybe one day...

  • @martinh619
    @martinh6192 ай бұрын

    *imitates whip sound*

  • @flora.garden
    @flora.garden3 ай бұрын

    What hdb means? :(

  • @os2841

    @os2841

    2 ай бұрын

    HongKong Business District

  • @jiayilim1986

    @jiayilim1986

    Ай бұрын

    ​@@os2841 Correction: Housing Development Board (Singapore). Also refers to the housing units they build.

  • @yilz123
    @yilz1233 ай бұрын

    Let me summarize, we’re broke

  • @cmlosaria
    @cmlosaria3 ай бұрын

    14:02 why do I get the feeling uncle was the one who did that lol

  • @user-mj5hh3jb3h
    @user-mj5hh3jb3hАй бұрын

    Yea very expensive

  • @user-hv4ke5kh7xiuh
    @user-hv4ke5kh7xiuh3 ай бұрын

    wast time and money

  • @yofiesetiawan
    @yofiesetiawanАй бұрын

    As a parent of 2 children, i don't blame people who dont want to have kids. I can really understand them. If i can blame someone, i think its the authorithy or the government who cant manage our society very well. Our capitalism economy system doesnt care about humanity. I wont be surprise if in future AI or computer who continue the human race, while human race will just gone. I'm serious.

  • @danielyounker5371
    @danielyounker53713 ай бұрын

    Children should be required to financially care for their caretakers/parents in old age. They have a responsibility. Children were once profitable when they were doing farmwork.

  • @kiatsan5781
    @kiatsan57813 ай бұрын

    The elephant in the room. It's the excruciating Cost of living. Period.

  • @healingtheinnerwoundedchild
    @healingtheinnerwoundedchild3 ай бұрын

    An unhealed inner wounded child perceives this world as an unsafe place, healing the inner wounded child will promote the willingness to have kids.

  • @Bunny11344

    @Bunny11344

    2 ай бұрын

    And funds 💴

  • @5CreativityRivers
    @5CreativityRivers3 ай бұрын

    I want 2 kids

  • @janicenm9147
    @janicenm91473 ай бұрын

    I did my part. I have 3 kids. Better now than later. 😂 Best decision for us.

  • @lilpandanesegirl
    @lilpandanesegirlАй бұрын

    no they are not

  • @ambersouthwick3509
    @ambersouthwick35093 ай бұрын

    3 generations of women being told that being a mom and wife is drudgery, and that they must balance traditional rolls and working, is a top factor.

  • @holographic555
    @holographic5552 ай бұрын

    Having children is expensive no matter the class. 💯 I love mine. Zero regrets. I'm equipped mentally, physically and financially cuz it's what ya do when you have children. You sacrifice. Make the right moves. Yup!

  • @Magdalena287
    @Magdalena2873 ай бұрын

    I have 5 kids and we’ve never made over 62k dollars a year, it’s doable but people are selfish and overspend on everything so no they’re not having kids anymore and using the “high cost” as an excuse to

  • @Anna-mf6fy

    @Anna-mf6fy

    3 ай бұрын

    So true. We have 6 Kids and one income. Children don't need that much stuff. Above all, they need loving parents.

  • @TheBooty28

    @TheBooty28

    3 ай бұрын

    I agree. Materialism and individualism is ruining the world. These same people that do not want kids expect someone else kids to look after them later in an old people home though. They do not realize how contradictory that is. I have kids and they are not expensive. They are only expensive if you want to send them to private school and give them all the latest gadgets. Parents also want luxury lifestyle as well that is why cost of living going up because people demanding luxury lifestyle that they do not need.

  • @JB-xx3vp

    @JB-xx3vp

    2 ай бұрын

    It’s a good thing for people to have personal choices about how to live their lives. It’s good for people who want children to have them and it’s good for people who don’t want to have children to not have them.

  • @Bunny11344

    @Bunny11344

    2 ай бұрын

    I mean I’m not overspending or into a lavish lifestyle but the thought of having kids and being broke sounds depressing asf

  • @RosetteAckesson

    @RosetteAckesson

    Ай бұрын

    Or people do not want to struggle like you did and have to twist and turn every penny. Some people actually want to enjoy their lives

  • @TomGrob
    @TomGrobАй бұрын

    They should make cost of living more unaffordable and workload higher. That will probably solve the problem. Jokes aside, wr know we are wage slaves...so why should we pop out more wage slaves? Makes no sense it's just more stress and the only people that benefits are the once living a comfortable life.

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