It takes a real man to tell the whole world that he was bad in a relationship with being violent and all.

@egyptnz27

5 жыл бұрын

YES IM PROUD OF HIM FOR BEING HONEST!!!AND ADMITTING TO DOING WRONG! BY DOING THIS IT WILL GIVE OTHER MEN THE COURAGE TO CHANGE 👌

@chrisa2612

5 жыл бұрын

@Julian Velasco Ufa😂

@rimaman8681

4 жыл бұрын

:-|

@rimaman8681

4 жыл бұрын

@@egyptnz27 you cant be proud of him lol only his family can what you meen? oh im proud of fellow earthling you cant do that marshuns go earth lol

@merphy2413

4 жыл бұрын

Julian Velasco hahahahha 😂 a (sausage) really 😂

Really brave. Awesome that they're still together, people's actions don't define them. Forgiveness is a crucial part of love.

What a champion! takes courage in its pure essence, to do what this man has just done. Exposing himself and allowing himself to be vaulnerable for all to see and hear. True Man!

Lots of respect to you Ete,good man for changing for the sake of your wife, your precious chidren,and your marriage . I'm a big fan of laughing samoan,I'm Tongan.God Bless.

Samoan people are very good of hiding the Problems behind the Smile. In every homes in Samoa there is a hidden Secret behind the smile and laughter, I'm glad this couple come out and exposed the evils in their own family, hiding makes it get worse. Believe me I come from a Family like that. Thank God now I live in Canada and raised my Children's to Speak their minds if they know something is not right. God bless 💗

@jasonyahtman5834

5 жыл бұрын

Me too

@franksinatra5764

4 жыл бұрын

Sa'o lelei oe 🤔

It's a cultural thing, islanders grow up in abuse, it's become so much a part of the norm that it's become a part of our culture, a part of the way islanders raise their children. Abuse of all kinds physical, sexual,emotional, psychological and neglect have become a part of the lives of a huge percentage of our lives, being silent about it and burying it under the rug isn't helping our people it's hindering it. I respect Ete for opening up about it, it takes a lot for someone to admit something so taboo in society and yet it happens so frequently behind closed doors. We should stop judging one another for trying to better ourselves and actually focus on doing the bettering.

@samumalu932

5 жыл бұрын

Fine vine yes its good to open up about and I think its a subject we all need to discuss and find ways around it for better and healthier future but please dont say its islanders and all that bkuz it happens in all ethnic groups

@marianamarino126

5 жыл бұрын

It's sad that this happens in the Samoan culture. Especially when they're so big on Christianity. Hope it gets better soon.

@helenmaraki6336

5 жыл бұрын

I totally agree, that it's in Humanity as a whole. Not just one or two cultures. It appears to be obvious, that these cultures are so brave to bring it to the attention for the humanity race to take stock, of their patterns of attitudes and behaviors which have generated down the generations.

@tiresamercruy8206

5 жыл бұрын

I completely disagree this is a part of our culture. Violence was used as a form of discipline to teach respect, obey and do well, it was a source of power and control that was taken out of context and it is an excuse. You can not use the culture card when it comes to violence. And that's why we have a reputation of being a violent culture. You heard the famous saying Samoans or Islanders are really respectful towards their elders and parents, that's because they got hidings and learnt respect at a young age. They're the hardest hitters in street fights, don't mess with those Islanders, they're crazy that's because they got mean hidings growing up. If you can take a hiding from your dad you can take a hiding from anyone. How embarrasing knowing we are known for violence and we own and accept it on some dysfunctional level. I can tell you now, I have not raised my son in violence and he is still a very respectful person. What I can agree on is that some sensitive subjects are taboo because we're constantly battling with cultural values and beliefs Vs reality. We need to drop the pride mask and just accept and move on. Like Ete said, it doesn't define you. Man up, learn and move in a positive direction. That's the aim.

@685inthefatu

5 жыл бұрын

Each to their own I think its a hard topic because like everything else, the way each culture and belief has evolved over the years and how people interpret the culture has changed and their thought process might be misleading or clouding judgement. Yes we have a history of violence but all countries and cultures are the same or maybe worse, we have respect as well as love, hence why they say that the Samoan aganuu and Christianity go hand in hand.

Grew up with a domestically violent Samoan father. There's this thing where island families try to reconcile the relationship far too quickly without understanding "separation" is needed out of safety for the women and children. But the status of a single mum is often more unbearable than being beatened. Kids suffer along with it and I can't stand men like this.

"Violence thrives in Silence" Those words are so strong; there's this stigma I believe that we keep all matters on a "hush hush" basis- Im glad that he came out and admitted to what happened to him and I pray that everyone takes their words seriously.

Respect to you both on sharing your story and bringing this out into the open. Hopefully, other couples can work through their problems as well. Thanks for sharing.

Aww honestly how brave you both were to come into public with this situation. Yous accepted it. As God didn't come into this World for only good people. But God shows miraclea to us and it is amazing how he change anyone in this Worl. A lot of respect about you both. May the Lord bless and shine a lot happiness for yous.

Thank you Ete and Mele for sharing your story. Appreciate your honesty. God bless both you into the future.

Thank you for giving us courage to talk about it. Thanks...big help to all families

Wow INCREDIBLE story ❤️ people can change I seen it before my two eyes.

@jasonyahtman5834

5 жыл бұрын

Yeah me too

Mele is a strong suga to stay with him. And prettifull too 😁

None of us wants to own up to their flaws! Fact

Such a valuable conversation thank you! Our people need to be this honest. Healing happens there 🙏🏽

Wonderful to have shared your experiences of the trauma of violence you have gone through...but there is of course hope...for a change for the better.

I take my hat off to you Ete n Mele, you know it always takes a mountain n a rough sea just to trust God n believe and when you did, you have His peace and love for being the bravest Christians in the world. And I personally salute you both!!! Praise God!!! A wonderful act and lesson for everyone who watched. God Bless you both!!! Love you!!!

Well done Ete and Mele. What an extraordinary story. Miraculous love and courage. Thank you. Respect

Violence in the home is a serious issue for all of us that were exposed to this behaviour. It's taken Ete and Mele to reach this part of their journey to now address it at this point. Not all of us get that opportunity, some if not most are doomed to perpetuate this behaviour. Some of us lost Mum's, sisters and brothers, nehpews, niece's along the way. This was a very raw interview, but it shows to men who have violent behaviour that 1. Its not acceptable and 2. They can learn to respond in non violent ways. I commend both Mele and Ete for choosing this platform to show us the way forward. They are really making it count, not just for them and their children but for us and ours too. As the saying goes it takes a village to raise a child, so it does with this. Change the Story!

Huge amounts of respect to Ete and his wife for bringing this up so publicly, honestly humbled by it

@egyptnz27

5 жыл бұрын

HEYYYY my son jnr looks alot similar to u!!😯😄

R.E.S.P.E.C.T Ete and Mele.It takes a powerful couple to share about their experiences and making every effort to still be together.Your both my inspiration😘😍😘😍

Well done Ete...its an important message for all men in every marriage....Marriage is not easy...but its Beautiful..Thank you to both of you for sharing this message...

I want to honor you both for coming forward and speaking out from a position to empower others. Extremely brave and I admire your bravery. I only hope that others will learn from your testimonies and feel empowered to make the same change. Thank you. Nga mihi.

We learnt from our previous mistakes. Yes we came out from those violence issues. God always have the answer to change our story. Lord be with u.

Wow never would have guessed. Thank you for sharing!

So much respect for them Both💙

Very brave Ete thanks for sharing this. God bless you.

Respect! 🙏🏾 🙌🏾

We will get BETTER, We will HEAL when we have these type of REAL HONEST conversations. #changeyourstory

Ofa adu Ete! Thankyou for your courage! It takes a man to talk like this!

Mahalo for sharing. Teach people to look at what is wrong with family violence. Non violent communications is hard to find could change the world.🤙🏾 kupo Aloha

Brave on you Ete for speaking out on your part👏🏻..becuz its not easy to expose something that may be detrimental to your image(but I dont see you as a bad person eitherway..were all imperfect,and have our own faults that we may not be proud of). And good on you Mele 👏🏻,for being patient and forgiving of your husband's shortcomings..becuz that's not easy to do..since you both made a vow,when yall got married..so im glad to see you guys love each other enough to work it out,thru thick and thin. (Thank you guys for speaking out on yall experience and glad you guys are seeming to be on a better path in y'all's relationship,and for your kids..may God bless you guys to be strong and patient and understanding and loving with each other and you and your kids take care). 🤗❤🙏🏻

Any subtitles? I know a few of our elders should/will want to watch but might not be able to because their english is limited

How brave. Good on you both for trying to help others. Instead a story of hope

😂😂😂😂crack up dude, uso you the man for speaking out, no one is perfect and if people can change they are closer to being perfect

Both very brave. Never to late to speak up. TY.

Wow, what a strong story. Proud of Ete 🙏🏽☝🏽😁

Sad to see this side of Ete, Nothing but respect to Mele for staying beside him through out the violence. The interview made me feel like Ete is still demanding towards his wife, wether or not it's physical I feel like he's still controlling her mentally. Idk just my observation.

Big respect to this couple

Strength comes in many forms. The strongest is admitting your faults and fixing it. Not just for your family but most importantly yourself. He's absoutely right, he cannot move from one relatinship to another and hasn't fixed himself , he will continue hurting more people. He's hit it on the nail, he had to fix himself first. My greatest respect is to his wife Mele who had endured not just violence but the strength to walk away for the safety and wellbeing of her and their children. God bless them in their new journey together and eduacting other's about family violence. Too often we take free and accessible information for granted. Don't wait until your ordered by the courts to attend a class or your church leader tells you to go. The real test is actually going along and wanting to make the changes. Easily said than done but it's never too late and you're no less of a person if you get help. If anything you beome a better person on the whole.

@egyptnz27

5 жыл бұрын

I totally agree

Well done bro. You put your reputation on the line. By showing your demons to the world. You have helped another family overcome thiers.

@egyptnz27

5 жыл бұрын

YES HE HAS!!!MUCH RESPECT

😭😭😭thank you..I've experienced that when I grew up now I'm away from home and thought of my parents are are doing great back home...and physical violence turned into emotional abuse 😭😭😭 now I miss my mom so much ..she's going thru alot and I just wanna leave and quit studying and go back home😭😭😭

@egyptnz27

5 жыл бұрын

Hope your mum is better now Suga

@missvaipulu8610

5 жыл бұрын

@@egyptnz27 she's okay...but I just wanted to go back bc it's been Two and a half years since I came here...

Thanks for coming forward, there's a lot of men in samoa who would never come forward about domestic violence honestly because they care about their reputation and how it would affect their jobs, and their relationships with other people. It's nice to know that we are not alone.

Violence thrives in silence. Kudos to you Mele. You are courageous to continue to have love for him, and stick to your marriage. I’m sorry you even had to go through that. Ete, may you continue to overcome those demons. Mele praying for your continuous strength, because this is traumatic.

Love that saying I can Change the future.. much respect ete..

@egyptnz27

5 жыл бұрын

AGREED

Wow that’s crazy! Glad they’re doing better

Beautiful woman, God bless.

I’m feel happiness -ASUELU

@aliceiosefo3880

5 жыл бұрын

stewart longtime dead hahahahha

@MissCleOh

5 жыл бұрын

😂😂😂

@stupss

5 жыл бұрын

Alisi Mantisi don’t die 😂😂

@stupss

5 жыл бұрын

Cleopatra I’m feel amazing 😂😂

@aliceiosefo3880

5 жыл бұрын

stewart longtime eh haa

Wow.. Brave couple.

I don't understand why it's so surprising LOL. It's usually the type you will never think to be violent eg- the man is a family man who jokes alot, laughs alot, very outgoing and talks too much, works hard, likes to drink and party , appears to have a good personality. They also usually cheat

@mjhr9864

3 жыл бұрын

Also with faith in God and knowing what pleases him eg: headship and not abusing it, we can change. All the best to all men facing anger and control issues 🌻

This is very true in the poly culture. It is something we grow up with and it becomes a normal thing, part of our culture. Eventually the abuse became the abuser and it just goes in a big circle. I think you open up a new door for new generation to open up and hopefully change the way we treat people around us specially our kids. They are the ones that can change the bad side of us. Hopefully staring up a new circle, A positive circle.

He's so sorry, I see in his eyes. They are both so brave! Beautiful to own it and major that you can overcome it❤ I grew up in an abusive house, and I'm so isolated from all my family now as an effect. Not just because of me spacing myself, but I wasn't allowed to to grow relationships growing up. No one is interested in us, at least not very much. Get the help, because why do we all suffer because of one person's actions? I would also like to add a little story. It is good they lived separately. I took care of a lady once, who was in her 80s. She was so mean, spiteful, and overly nasty to her husband. Turns out for 30ish years, he was beating her. He finally found the strength to stop, apologize properly, and make things right. But she became the abuser, and he figured he deserved it, so he just took it. And his family felt the same, I think. It was ugly. Repent, heal, reconcile if you can. Don't live the ugly life. And obviously get help!

Much respect bradda

The male host of the show has a surprisingly soothing characteristic voice

Respect! Not everyones perfect bt good to see this man face his demons and js let it out.

Very sad but it's our reality. We all have a light and dark side within the soul. Life is a journey and a daily work in progress. I wish us all well.

Respect.

It takes a real man to spk the truth. I only wish Pua Magasiva had the courage to face his own violent demons. He might still be with us today if he had enuf mana to confront his issues. Kia kaha Ete & Mele 😍

Man. This guy is a real man. He told the truth he spoke up. Now i do not know the full story of what happend but im hoping him and tofiga if thats how you spell it continue their jobs.

Well done brother, may God bless your family.

Love you’s ✊🏾❤️damn family violence sucks

My husband was convicted of violence in the family home but being brought up in a strict Catholic Samoan home, he had it drummed into him that if you hit a female, you will get a spec in your eye and go blind. But that wasn't why he wouldn't hit a woman as his observations from early childhood that women are to be adored and respected to the highest degree. If a woman hit him and inflict pain he would look at them with hurt and confusion in his eyes and he would say "what gives you the right to hit me?" The response in a demonic harsh tone would be "ha! who do you think the police are going to believe if I tell them you are hitting me!!?" he would drop his head and sob and say "you. The police are going to believe you". For 18 months my husband endured this violence and constant threats that she would go to the police if he ever upset her. The poor guy would go to his lecturing job with scratches and bruises on his face and he would tell the staff and students that the injuries were inflicted at rugby training....only thing was that he was the coach! So how could he obtain these injuries? Finally the threats came true, the police were called when they didn't even have an argument, she just walked out of the house in the night and started walking up the road in her dressing gown and my husband was worried about her walking around in her bedclothes in the dark so he limped behind her up the road. When he got to the house she had stopped at she screamed "get away from me you f.... pyscho!" and soon after the cavalry came, handcuffed him and in less than 2hrs a constable had charged him with no investigation, of 6 counts of GBH and threatening to kill. Joseph had no idea what was going on but he realised she was right, the threat was carried out and who could he trust? Her brother-in-law whom she was extremely close to worked in the station he arrived in and he was there when my husband arrived and was a part the team that processed him. My point is with this long-winded story, is that there are plenty of Pacific Islander women out there belting their men constantly and do they get into trouble? Who really has the upper hand in New Zealand? It sure isn't the Pacific Islander men!! Since my husband has been in prison, he has had many of the inmates Born Again and his gifted guitar skills has helped many Samoans come out of their shells and sing the songs that their Mum's used to sing, he has helped many with their applications for parole, transfers and simple letters to their loved ones. He is teaching some to speak Samoan and some inmates how to read and write. This journey for my Social Worker lecturer husband has made him aware of what really goes on in prison and he has met many men who have also suffered at the hands of their abusive spouse. We pray that all of the women who commit such crimes fall to their knees and ask God for forgiveness before it is too late. x

Respect✊

I was wondering what he's up too. DV ain't no joke. Hope everything is going well with him and his family. Wishing to see him on stage again soon.

Great discussion. Something so close to polys

This story remains me when I came here to new Zealand stayed with families. I thinks to myself how come my dad families treat me in this way if I knew before I not come here. But I'm stayed here for better life for future reasons. Also I missed my families so much back in island. But now I happy married he families support me many ways. I felt palagi way so easy understood. Violence my own families I never shared to my parents. I love this question! Are you okay?

❤❤❤

His a very brave man. 🙏

Not being sexist or mean but sometime wives do push men to the edge when they argue anyone whos argued with a women knows they don’t shut up and will keep yelling even though the mans stopped talking.

Fank u 4 da otturppunity

Wow this is for sure a different side.😱

So sad history repeats itself! why do we as a PROUD pacific culture let this continue?? We all Glamour up on $unday$ in our best hiding our true realities... "i hit you coz i love you" GTF OUTAHEEAAA Ete reppin for those weak P.I. fathers blaming everyone else BUT themself! My mans got balls!

It's a wonder that you are both fine examples to teach, educate and lights for others. Bravo

My ? Why didn’t you continue the “ laughing Samoans “ as a platform to help with this subject matter? Regardless appreciate your honesty on this topic that we all know is prevalent in not only our culture. God bless you both and your family. Hope to see you back on stage with Tofiga someday.

Now I know why Tofiga always put him on the spot

I think this sprang from the family where Ete was raised, but it's now time to be mature and move on, but at the same time, help others to stop this form of abuse.

❤️❤️

malo Ete&Mele 👍

Read about this last year and was shocked because you really don't know anybody.

@egyptnz27

5 жыл бұрын

That's true...hmmm..

I wouldn't call you a true man, But I will say you are a very brave man for admitting this publicly, How many pacific island athletes hit their wives? You are a very brave person for this Ete, I hope you reach your redemption. I hope mele stays safe from here on out too.

@b3st136

5 жыл бұрын

Russell N - Facts!

@raelkington647

5 жыл бұрын

what defines a true man?. Redemption is between him and his family, violence has nothing to do with race, more so upbringing and the morals instilled by parents to their children.

@avebac1

5 жыл бұрын

i hope mele stays safe? You sound like youve obviously lived a perfect life with a perfect family. Everyone has a past you know and people do change sheez

@russellnilsen2090

5 жыл бұрын

@@avebac1 if you were Meles family, would you feel safe with your daughter married to someone who has a long history of domestic violence, repeatedly punching her in the face? Would you go to sleep thinking your daughter is in safe hands? Pleasee, DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IS WRONG.

@basst758

5 жыл бұрын

They lived apart for 10 years and he did say their life is non violent. And they're both speaking up about it. People can and do change it is possible.

Violence results from argument, argument result from self righteousness trying to prove oneself right. Sometimes we oughta let the other win even when we know we are right.

Good couple

❤

Solid one... We all not perfect..but for the soon getting marry and newly married, we watch and learn from it... Not an excuse we not perfect, but TRY your best to say no to family violence... 😂😂😂👍

Don't need help! need support and REAL SUPPORT!!!! yes yes SERVICES!!! plenty to pass the buck!

Polynesian men in particular are primed from a young age to be silent sufferers, its a recipe for disaster. Communication is usually shunned from a young age, you're talked AT not talked TO. You talk DOWN, not UP. Change it up, listen to your kids, don't disregard what they have to say just because they are young and often times naive. It's an opportunity to teach them to express themselves. Parenting is as much about interaction as it is about guidance and discipline. If they are comfortable openly communicating their feelings as kids they will take that with them into their older ages and relationships. If you teach them to bottle up their emotions than that is what they will carry into adulthood and violent outbursts is the usual outlet.

I like how the reporter always shift her eyes to the other person to see if they are going to lash out and hit her or something lol bless her heart😂

Abusive Men have an emotional level to that of a child. I feel so sorry for women that end up with them.

Ete was Jake the muss in when we were warriors and how’s he’s Jake the muss in what becomes of the broken hearted.

Miracles*

If you’re a man you should never beat a women, especially your wife, the mother of your children...the person that’s chosen to be with you. Much respect to him for realising his faults, but it’s sorta tarnished my view on him.

@avebac1

5 жыл бұрын

welcome to the real world. not everyone has a perfect family like you.

@sheldoncooper0

2 жыл бұрын

If you’re a real human being and genuinely a good person, you should never beat someone, except in self defence… This goes both ways, a real man should never beat a women OR MAN, and a real woman likewise should not beat or abuse (mentally or physiclally) another man OR WOMAN…

I was waiting for ete to say the punchline haha

Think she means whirlwind, not world wind? Good on Ete for coming out, not easy i imagine, but necessary.

@avebac1

5 жыл бұрын

world wind😂😂😂

@grandzeno2167

5 жыл бұрын

Eeeeeee moepi .. That’s what my parents say when I try to correct them 😂😂

John Pulu is my brother

I would have prefer Ete to be interviewed by himself without Mele's presence as the violence was his responsibility.

Hmm. Ive never seen it from dis view before

In Samoa I is cuddles my pillow -Asuelu

So really standing before the judge “changed his ways”?! -his words. 🤨

There needs to be a storie about how islanders are sooo judgemental and fai Kala too much✌️

@avebac1

5 жыл бұрын

hard out! People dont realise faikalas can sometimes damage marriages, families, friends, jobs, churches , relationships and is sometimes the cause of suicide