just found out I'm Autistic, now what?

♡𝗠𝗬 𝗘𝗧𝗦𝗬 𝗦𝗛𝗢𝗣♡
Rest & Regulation Guided Workbook for Neurodivergents
www.etsy.com/listing/1550174351/
Discovering your Masks ADHD & Autism Workbook
www.etsy.com/listing/1333179566/
ADHD & Autism Uncovering Your Stims Workbook
www.etsy.com/listing/1263026080/
ADHD-friendly Weekly Planner · Helps with Executive Dysfunction
etsy.me/3NigpLR
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🍊selfembark.com
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Time stamps
intro 00:00-03:34
The Core Concept 03:35-06:55
Identifying the 'What' 06:56-15:51
Internal vs. External processing 15:52-29:58
Alexithymia & Releasing Emotions 29:59-34:04
Mental vs. Physical tiredness 34:05-49:38
Flow State 49:39-52:55
Reshaping Consistency 52:56-55:45
Rituals vs. Routines 55:46-01:00:38
heart to heart 01:00:39-01:04:34

Пікірлер: 136

  • @0nefartman
    @0nefartmanАй бұрын

    Me thinking that this was a collab with : I’m Autistic, Now What? 😅

  • @heatherwilliams3748

    @heatherwilliams3748

    Ай бұрын

    That would be a fun collab =)

  • @avalonrhys

    @avalonrhys

    Ай бұрын

    same lol, that would be a great video tho! I'd loveee to see them collab :)

  • @Skylarkdevries1267

    @Skylarkdevries1267

    Ай бұрын

    I thought the same 😂

  • @itznia_ok8069

    @itznia_ok8069

    Ай бұрын

    Lol same

  • @AnderTheNerd

    @AnderTheNerd

    Ай бұрын

    Omg I love both these youtubers, that'd actually be a cool collab ngl

  • @emmajwilkins
    @emmajwilkinsАй бұрын

    This is exactly what I’ve been thinking about lately. Diagnosed almost a year ago, and I’ve been unmasking but now at the point where I know how hard my daily life is, but I don’t know what I can practically do to make things better. It feels like everything is moving too fast for me and I get overwhelmed every day.

  • @christinelamb1167

    @christinelamb1167

    Ай бұрын

    I feel the same! 60 years old, and just diagnosed 4 months ago. Ok, now I know for sure, but where do I go from here?

  • @emmajwilkins

    @emmajwilkins

    Ай бұрын

    Exactly. I was almost 30 when I was diagnosed and it is so hard to know how to reconfigure the way you live your life. I really needed this video at exactly the time it came.

  • @Lady.Fern.

    @Lady.Fern.

    Ай бұрын

    Same, I’m stuck! I can’t afford to work less, I can’t switch careers to make more and work less and I can’t cope with what I’m doing Any longer.

  • @romalibra_books

    @romalibra_books

    Ай бұрын

    Working from home has been the biggest change for me. Because I am not overwhelmed by my work environment anymore, I have a lot more mental space to socialise and enjoy life. If you have the option honestly it’s amazing, yes I do get lonely a little and stuff but I feel like I can finally breathe and I’ll never go back

  • @christinelamb1167

    @christinelamb1167

    Ай бұрын

    @@romalibra_books I'm really hoping to be able to find a work from home job. I haven't worked in about 18 months due to a long burnout phase, but I need to start working again. I don't have anyone to support me, and finances are getting thin!

  • @andi-rb2kc
    @andi-rb2kcАй бұрын

    i hope i understood this video well. but what i took away from it is that a lot of the chronic fatigue i’ve experienced is not from being physically tired. it’s mental fatigue from constantly ruminating and trying to intellectualize what i’ve been feeling in a dysregulated state. i’m going to try to finish making my lego flower and hopefully i can try to get my mind flowing again more clearly.

  • @TheSimpleSprinkle
    @TheSimpleSprinkleАй бұрын

    this is so weird, because I literally just got home from my final appointment and got my official autism diagnosis, just to open youtube to find your newest video....

  • @thecanvasdealer

    @thecanvasdealer

    Ай бұрын

    SAME

  • @april.1024

    @april.1024

    Ай бұрын

    me too!!

  • @Aqua___aqua

    @Aqua___aqua

    Ай бұрын

    Same here

  • @visionvixxen

    @visionvixxen

    20 күн бұрын

    Yes feeling based

  • @princessslovesu
    @princessslovesuАй бұрын

    i finally just got diagnosed with autism 2 weeks ago and my first question to my psychiatrist was, "what do i do now?". i really struggle with being able to identify and connect with my emotional state, so this video was an amazing watch. im very glad to have found your channel... it's like ive found a guide after being lost in the forest for 23 years!

  • @Ojo10
    @Ojo10Ай бұрын

    EDIT: I got my diagnosis! Undiagnosed but struggling and feeling like an imposter my whole life, and realizing my brother is level 2. I've been diagnosed ADHD. How am I going to live as even more disabled? Every day is so hard. Edit: Just finished video. I'm a internal processor with repression trauma through and through. I have such a hard time with feeling okay with letting my emotions guide me due to religious trauma. I also have OCD and constant anxiety. Constantly emotionally tired. I have been waiting for this video my whole life, and i think it's finally given me the strength to live how I need to. Thank you so much.

  • @Soprano1638

    @Soprano1638

    Ай бұрын

    Hi friend, I feel your pain very much. I am pretty much in the same boat- also diagnosed with Adhd and now looking into autism. I wanted to say: when I see paralympians and other physically disabled people going about their normal lives, doing great things, I always look up to them and feel inspired. They are my strong heroes. What I realised is that so are we, those of us with hidden disabilities have just as tough a time (in different ways) but still push through life and make things happen for ourselves. You are my hero, keep pushing on because you are worthwhile and valuable, just as much as everyone else in this world. All the best to you ❤

  • @thecanvasdealer
    @thecanvasdealerАй бұрын

    Was diagnosed an hour ago. Literally this video was the first one on my YT page. Weird

  • @violakarl6900

    @violakarl6900

    Ай бұрын

    the algorythm and observation are with us 🙏

  • @caku8201

    @caku8201

    Ай бұрын

    Same 😭

  • @ter2364

    @ter2364

    Ай бұрын

    theyre listening theyre listening theyre listening theyre listening theyre listening theyre listening

  • @xsarahelisa
    @xsarahelisaАй бұрын

    Irene, I'm only 10 minutes in and I'm already identifying on a molecular level with everything you're saying. thank you for putting out this content. 💕

  • @paulinejulien9191
    @paulinejulien9191Ай бұрын

    Omg that vicious dog anecdote 😭 I totally fell for it like you did! That’s happened to me so many times in life… it’s so embarrassing and afterwards I’m like “how the hell was I supposed to know it was sarcasm?” 😂 been experiencing a lot of imposter syndrome lately (my autism diagnosis was 3 months ago) so I really needed this video as a reminder ❤

  • @christopherrossbryant
    @christopherrossbryantАй бұрын

    Not me getting my formal diagnosis yesterday 💀🖤 Been watching for a while tho

  • @ManisSpectrum

    @ManisSpectrum

    Ай бұрын

    Same 💀💕

  • @plantstho6599
    @plantstho6599Ай бұрын

    Not officially diagnosed here yet. But it's blatantly obvious to me the more I learn from watching the community and reflect back on my responses to situations in the past. It's not to brag when I say I'm higher IQ (higher/lower is a misnomer). I've always just stayed in my room and read physics books since I was a kid. It's not far off to say that I'm an Extra Terrestrial engineer trapped in some socially awkward dork's body. I'm trapped in a soul destroying job where they're constantly looking for reasons to fire me. Really, I should be working for Skunk Works building 5th dimensional fusion drives for FTL propulsion. My entire life is a terrible nightmare of a joke. I'm living a lie and I can't escape it.

  • @youpoops

    @youpoops

    Ай бұрын

    Much love to you

  • @sunfeatherX3

    @sunfeatherX3

    Ай бұрын

    Passion is amazing. Is there any way you could pursue doing something we all know you’d be amazing at?

  • @plantstho6599

    @plantstho6599

    Ай бұрын

    @@sunfeatherX3 The hardest part about the whole thing is learning to work with a dysfunctional economy that doesn't support human health and well being, unless there's a dollar sign attached to it. Inflation, anxiety, depression, autism, loneliness. Society has turned the planet into a toilet. I'm trying to forget it all and just meditate. Adhd and van life problems prevent it. Everything is a broken POS. At least I don't have any mf kids.

  • @yadeneehailu3498
    @yadeneehailu3498Ай бұрын

    this. is. so. concise and helpful! 😮‍💨🙏🏾

  • @ah57588
    @ah57588Ай бұрын

    I just wanna say that both you and struthless are currently the two people I will take from to journal to process life a bit and how my neurodivergence has affected my life. So many people in my life don't really believe I have autism, but whenever I listen to AuDHDers I feel so viscerally seen I find myself unable to stop myself from crying. It's so validating to hear from people that the feeling of constant exhaustion, fighting yourself for everything, and emotions being overwhelming causing an inability to watch certain media is both not normal while not isolated to just me. Thank you for all the resources you offer, they truly are immensely helpful

  • @lisbethchristensen1981
    @lisbethchristensen1981Ай бұрын

    I just got my late autism diagnosis on the 22nd of may 2024. Just 8 days ago. I'm 43 years old. I'm forever grateful for autistic youtubers like you. It means the world to me. Thank you. 🏆❤

  • @MilkyWay_0113
    @MilkyWay_0113Ай бұрын

    wow. now i understand why i feel so good after monotonous tasks like vacuuming, washing dishes, cleaning, folding laundry, etc (especially if i have music playing while im at it)... and why i NEVER feel better after sleeping more than usual lol. THANK YOU SO MUCH for sharing this. i took a lot of notes and im going to try your advice. edit: AWW i got emotional at the end with you!! i also want to be that helpful person that i wish i had when i was a troubled kid and teen!! thanks again for sharing with us Irene!

  • @ManisSpectrum
    @ManisSpectrumАй бұрын

    Thank you for this! I was literally wondering how I deal with it. I wasn't prepared for this part neither did I realise the impact was this incredibly heavy. Yesterday finally got my diagnosis and ever since I've been running away from the impact and pressure of everything that comes along with it. I might just keep it like this for a few days. I haven't even been able to say have it, just typing this makes me wanna cry my soul out. Thanks again🙌🏾💗💕

  • @sakaimae
    @sakaimaeАй бұрын

    I'm not sure I've ever commented on one of your videos before, but I've been subscribed for a long time! Just wanted to say your content is brilliant and I love what you put out there for us 🖤

  • @banovsky
    @banovskyАй бұрын

    Irene, you’re an incredibly special person. Thanks for going through this, I’m halfway and already taking notes… A silly story about noticing things / not noticing…I was recently on a road trip, at a strange gas station, and asked the attendant where the bathroom was after paying (down a few long corridors). I had been ruminating about how much the fill cost, and when I would be getting home, and I STARTED the interaction by uncharacteristically going in the store like, “dude your pump is fucked up WTH!” despite the pump not initially taking my credit card. That entire time I was feeling disregulated & ruminating about what I had said. On my way out, I said, “Thanks…by the way, did you know your fridge is leaking?” Near the entrance, but in an aisle behind me, a low beer fridge was leaking. I hadn’t walked past it but I must have noticed the wet floor when I came in; the attendant was grateful. yay What’s a flow state activity for me? Driving. How long had I been (happily) driving for at that point in time? 5 hours. How many important calls did I make? More than 3. :\ Do you have any advice for flow state activities; re: walks. If I walk in my hometown, I become mad at the drivers, the environment, the smell… When I walk across the street in the forest, I feel amazing within 0.3 seconds. Could I have tapped into enjoying walks in, say, my hometown? Every time I try I fail to.

  • @Hopie_T
    @Hopie_TАй бұрын

    I found a lot about what you said with the flow state in stimming. I don't always feel comfortable to do it, but when I allow myself to stim freely in public, whether it's to sing along to my songs, shake my hands, rub my clothes, or anything else I feel like, I've gained so much more energy and motivation to go out and do things. I don't dread it or avoid it as much. I want my whole life to be in that state sometime. Bonus funny episode: Because I do stim a lot with my hands, I like to shake them or move them to the rhythm of the song, extend them, whatever... I was walking home from the station near me and I was passing a girl that was coming from the opposite direction when I had the urge to extend my hand and balance my phone on it, which looked like I was giving her my phone or opening my palm to beg for something. She looked at me startled and walked off and I was giggling the whole way home.

  • @ergojosh
    @ergojoshАй бұрын

    I can't express the incredible value you are providing for the world here. The hour went by like a flash for met. All of this just makes me amazed at what the human body does to cope with life. It's so complex. Many of us have truly neglected 2/3 of our entire beings for decades, myself included.

  • @simonchis9333
    @simonchis9333Ай бұрын

    Thanks for this - the bit at the end about the difference between routines and rituals and letting yourself be free to choose let me view things from a differnet and good perspective. 😊

  • @kslll
    @kslll6 күн бұрын

    I was just diagnosed but suspected for a while. Thank you so much for this video, i feel heard and seen.❤ wishing joy and relaxation to every autistic person in the world!!

  • @BillundBerries
    @BillundBerries5 күн бұрын

    This is such wonderful information. Thank you for sharing and helping us. I only recently, at age 34, discovering this world of autism after working in an autism clinic last month and seeing all the similarities.

  • @user-kv8nx9oj5v
    @user-kv8nx9oj5v23 күн бұрын

    I started watching this a few days ago and got distracted, but I'm so glad I came back and watched the end! I loved what you were saying about rituals! I am absolutely at my happiest when I do things like that, and I don't know why I don't do it more often! Part of me wants to get the vibes just right before doing any task, but I shut myself down by saying that it's silly and a waste of time. Thanks for reminding me that it's absolutely worth the time. And for giving us ideas about how to engage all of the senses! Sometimes I can't listen to music while doing certain tasks, so it's good not to be too reliant on sound only.

  • @bethanygreenwood8259
    @bethanygreenwood8259Ай бұрын

    Thank you for this. I have lost my rituals recently as I now have a house mate and being constantly observed is so restrictive for me. Hoping to use your examples to help me put in place some low impact rituals to give me more life! 💛

  • @HiMetzly
    @HiMetzlyАй бұрын

    Thank you Irene so much for all the work you do 💗💜💗

  • @tracik1277
    @tracik1277Ай бұрын

    Thank you for this Irene, it’s excellent and you communicate it so adeptly 🙏

  • @april.1024
    @april.1024Ай бұрын

    thank you so much for this video, i found it so interesting! you really presented everything so eloquently and thoroughly. i took a lot of notes & will be figuring out how to apply this to my own situation for sure. thank you 🌷💗

  • @var-anahid
    @var-anahidАй бұрын

    i am so so grateful for ur videos ♥️

  • @giuliasatta6251
    @giuliasatta6251Ай бұрын

    I've been watching your videos for a while now and I just wanted to say thank you. Thank you so much for the precious and useful informations you give, they're pure gold for me. I was diagnosed from a couple of years now and didn't find anyone here on youtube that says something that resonates with me so much as you. This video is so interesting, clear and detailed that I must save the link to watch it again and again. Alexithymia and poor enteroception are my biggest struggles in life and I'm trying to work with them and with these advices it will be easier to follow this journey of discovery and listening of myself and my emotions. Thank you from the bottom of my ❤️.

  • @rebeccaburnell9319
    @rebeccaburnell9319Ай бұрын

    Oh wow, I have so many thoughts swirling around I can barely dare leave a comment in case it balloons into a novel. Some of this stuff is stuff I've *just* started to be able to articulate to myself after 20yrs of therapy (in far less clear ways than you have here), though all but the last 4 months was done before I understood that I'm autistic so maybe I shouldn't be surprised that these things were hidden from my perception and comprehension until now. Anyway, yes, I *will* be returning to rewatch this video and thank you so much for almost certainly accelerating the process of learning to understand and take care of myself. ❤️

  • @theshylilie
    @theshylilieАй бұрын

    Thank you so much Irene!! The reminder of ritual is appreciated. Sometimes we get lost and it's helpful to have a hand as beautiful as yours to take us down the path a little 🙏🥰

  • @superdani152003
    @superdani152003Ай бұрын

    I can't thank you enough for your videos❤

  • @jordanlumpkin880
    @jordanlumpkin880Ай бұрын

    Thank you for all the love, thought, and effort you put into your content, Irene. I hope you know how much it means to us. You’ve helped me so much and I can’t imagine the impact you’ve had on others as well❤

  • @wanwie
    @wanwieАй бұрын

    thank you SO much ♡

  • @flyygurl18
    @flyygurl18Ай бұрын

    Packed with gems; you articulate complex experiences so viscerally; loved the suggestions around creating routines to fit emotional current state, steps on how to identify the kind of tiredness we feel and the particular point about rituals around certain activities: all of it was enriching tbh 🍀🖖🏾

  • @christinelamb1167
    @christinelamb1167Ай бұрын

    I loved this video, Irene! I can tell you put so much work and heart into it. The things you discussed were so validating and so helpful for me! Oh my gosh! I related so much when you told the story about walking your dogs with your partner, and talking to the other guy with a dog. I can't even tell you how many times I've not understood when someone was joking. I've embarrassed myself countless times by saying something "dumb" in response to what I thought was serious! Or sometimes even if I don't say anything, later on after thinking about it I realize I didn't understand and I still feel dumb, even if I'm the only one who knows I didn't get it. 😂 I totally understand that "flow state" you were talking about! For me, it's always been physical exercise. A hard workout gets me into that flow like nothing else. It's also been a huge special interest of mine for decades, and it also serves my need for ritual and stability, because it's something I do almost every day. Thank you for everything you do for our community Irene. I really appreciate you! ❤

  • @Well-Groomed_Crow
    @Well-Groomed_Crow25 күн бұрын

    This video is super helpful, it can be super hard to find a concreate list of things to look into and I worry I'm leaving out 'key pieces' that will improve my wellbeing, this was very helpful

  • @lizthecontentcreator
    @lizthecontentcreatorАй бұрын

    You did such a great job at explaining how someone who is neuro divergent may experience the social world. Definitely allowed me to empathize & process something that I never stopped to think how it may be difficult for someone else to interact when it's something I do on daily basis & don't think twice. Thank you.

  • @morgentau16
    @morgentau16Ай бұрын

    I've been loving your content for some time already, but this video was especially impactful and useful for me. I felt emotional at the end too because younger me also needed a supportive person to help me navigate all my issues, and I'm finally learning to do that for myself thanks to your videos, among other resources. Thank you so much for the work you're doing.

  • @ariannaxr
    @ariannaxrАй бұрын

    I think this video is your masterpiece! ❤ Thank you for sharing so generously what you have learned, in a way that I can resonate with and take in. ❤

  • @infires7078
    @infires7078Ай бұрын

    This video made a lot of things I've gone throught make sense. Thank you so much for explaining things so well and giving great advice! Some of these things I know deep down but don't do them as often as I should or even at all. And you made a lot of my experiences seem more clear and understandable. Im so glad I found your channel truly!

  • @x33Cherry09x33
    @x33Cherry09x33Ай бұрын

    Thank you so much for sharing your experiences and the advices! The ritual thing is what I was missing. I need a checklist for my tasks but for my wellbeing it never worked, now I get why💕

  • @unitedstaites
    @unitedstaitesАй бұрын

    I think this is your best video yet. Super inspiring and full of wisdom ✨

  • @pagelbagel1597
    @pagelbagel159711 күн бұрын

    So thankful for your channel because I really think it led to me getting tested and diagnosed with Audhd

  • @stephenieolson8535
    @stephenieolson8535Ай бұрын

    I really love what you said about rituals. That is where my daily joy comes from. Thank you for putting words to it. Now I know how to do it more intentionally. ❤

  • @desireerose7862
    @desireerose7862Ай бұрын

    Thank you so much for sharing. I love all the content you share but this is definitely one I will continue to return to. I feel like I’ve spent a lot of time learning about my neurodivergency but sometimes I just intellectualize the information. Logically I may better understand myself better but emotionally and physiologically it hasn’t been integrated. This information is so practical and relatable and I could already feel the positive impact just by listening to you describe your own experiences. Thank you!!

  • @k1kimiki
    @k1kimikiАй бұрын

    I’m so glad i have found your channel Irene!!!! You’ve been helping me to connect little pieces of myself. I’ve been learning how to take care of myself so much better. Really thank you so much. I believe it can get better and better and finally get good :3

  • @stevenhuynh7788
    @stevenhuynh77882 күн бұрын

    Awesome video, especially on the routines-vs-rituals. I practice a bunch of different movement arts - Yoga, MMA, Ballet, Etc...in the morning I used to just do intuitive movement to music in my private space at home, and I found it really grounding. As I've gotten further into my training I'd made the mistake of turning that time into a session to practice my form and technique. I'd end up disregulated and my practice wouldn't really go anywhere. So I think I might loosen up a bit and work on creating that 'atmosphere' around something I enjoy really deeply and essentially as you put it, allowing myself to experience life 'feeling' rather than being driven by results.

  • @sophieinspired
    @sophieinspiredАй бұрын

    This is so valuable and actually helpful. Thank you so much! I feel a lot of the "official help"/therapy available is basically just behavioral stuff that feels like masking for pros, and gives the impression to be more harmful than beneficial, or primarily beneficial to fit into standards and not for the actually struggling individual. Again, thank you for sharing!

  • @Catlily5

    @Catlily5

    Ай бұрын

    It depends on the type of therapy. Where I live most therapists don't do behavioral therapy.

  • @higherground337
    @higherground337Ай бұрын

    I'm amazed how everything you've said in this video resonates with how I experience and process emotions. There's a lot of invaluable advice here. Thank you so much for sharing this information with the autistic community.

  • @daminky
    @daminkyАй бұрын

    I can’t express how much these videos have helped me as an undiagnosed adult. While I wait to find the right type of therapy for myself, these examples and explanations are so validating. It’s also helpful to have how I feel be explained out loud too because I really struggle with verbalizing my thoughts

  • @tereseyoga
    @tereseyoga9 күн бұрын

    So good!! Thank you 🌸 I wish I had someone in my life like you sooner too 💝

  • @katrina1414
    @katrina1414Ай бұрын

    My second wind is my nap 😩 I don’t sleep well. So I have like two days in one. Hate it cause it’s not typical, this doesn’t make sense on our typical world-but love it because it gives me what I need and helps maintain a clean environment so that I can think and create😭 I have three autoimmunes so I’m sure that adds to the all my neurodivergence’s. The struggle yo. Thank you for always putting so much love into these informative and validating videos! You are the missing puzzle pieces I know so many of us have the pleasure of receiving !!❤xoxo

  • @Jbaxter736
    @Jbaxter736Ай бұрын

    As somebody who wasn't diagnosed with ADHD until there was 30 to one and autism until he was 33 Your channel is very helpful. Thanks for the information you posted on KZread.

  • @xzxxzxnooo
    @xzxxzxnoooАй бұрын

    thank you for this

  • @royahoffmeyer3959
    @royahoffmeyer3959Ай бұрын

    Sendin love and healing to you lovely dear person❤

  • @purpleguy-bu5fe
    @purpleguy-bu5feАй бұрын

    Thus video was very helpful thank you ❤️

  • @Glitteryglows
    @GlitteryglowsАй бұрын

    Please leave your flow state activities in the comments! Trying to get some more inspiration here 'cause I am still figuring out my flow states. My most relaxing flow state activity is going in nature, running and strength training. They literally clear my head and make me feel like I am flying 🌻

  • @AuntBee185
    @AuntBee185Ай бұрын

    You did a great job!❤️

  • @Figuringitout7
    @Figuringitout7Ай бұрын

    Thank you For this content ❣️ 🖤💚💜. I will be rewatching this video. 59 yrs of struggling is exhausting. You are helping so much. Thank you ♾️ I will say hi to the birds and all the critters I see 🐾🐾🪴🌸🐿️🦔🦦🐈‍⬛🦮🍁

  • @christinelamb1167

    @christinelamb1167

    Ай бұрын

    60 years old here, and just formally diagnosed ASD 4 months ago. It explains so much! It has truly been a monumental struggle for me. What to do now, that is th question... 1/2 way through this video, and getting some good ideas!

  • @cosmolosys
    @cosmolosysАй бұрын

    I found out I'm autistic quite long ago but this video was still very helpful! ❤️ I have had a lot of disconnect from my body and I still do to some extent, but mindfulness and meditation and my therapist has been helping a lot with that. I feel like learning how to feel my body and pay attention to it is such a huge part in my development, maybe even the most important part of all time.

  • @carolynmacdonald7024
    @carolynmacdonald7024Ай бұрын

    I feel like you're my soul sister or something. This shit is so good. This is what I've been realizing about my own life too and trying to figure out these very things for myself. And like you, I've wished that I had had somebody who could really guide me this way. I've found that in working, I've felt pressure to work full time so that I can have enough money, but in the process of doing so... I've been cut off from myself. I've learned to numb how I'm feeling and even my pain sensations in everyday life because I'm just trying to get through each day. Just mindlessly, numbly stumbling through life in a fog, and wondering why I've been feeling so awful. Wondering why everything falls apart on me all the time and I can't keep up with everything. Not being able to accept that I just can't function this way. Now I've had to go on a journey of reconnecting with my own feelings and bodily sensations and trying to observe them so I can figure out how I can make myself feel better. I've been trying to figure out how to love life and feel like I'm being true to myself and authentic. It's so hard though because society encourages us not to trust our own intuition. I've really been exposed to a lot of "suck it up" messaging in workplaces, in school and even in relationships. So even though I knew it wasn't right for me to have to suck it up, I did try to do that, but I quickly found out that the cost of doing that is my own well-being and personal safety. Nobody else suffers like I do if I ignore my own boundaries. Nobody else has to live in my body and mind. So I need to make my body my home. I need to feel safe and ok in my body/home. It's mine and it's my responsibility alone to take good care of it. So that's what I've realized which has made me feel somewhat bitter at times is that others will push you to the point of hurting yourself just so that they can get what they want from you and so that they can remain comfortable. Or they'll hold you accountable for how THEY are suffering and how they are feeling even though it's not your doing. So you really do have to get your bearings and realize that nobody truly has your best interests at heart except you, so you have a duty to yourself to do right by you. Sadly, nobody else is obligated to care whether or not you're ok. So that hurts a bit sometimes, but it's the truth of being an adult. You have to look after yourself first. Put your own oxygen mask on first before helping anybody else. You're no good to anybody if you're not ok, and not only that but you deserve to feel ok and to feel good even. So I've gone on a journey recently of trying to figure out the secrets to my own mind and my own well-being too. Trying to test various approaches to it. I've come to the same conclusions about it that you have. This was a joy to listen to because I relate so much to what you're saying and understand it on a very deep level. Keep up the good work! ❤️

  • @consuelonavarrohidalgo5334
    @consuelonavarrohidalgo5334Ай бұрын

    I'm reading that many people have just received their diagnosis and found this video. You are blessed (even if it was because of the microphone of your mobile phone).

  • @ginadelfina5887
    @ginadelfina5887Ай бұрын

    I was really struck by what you said at 54:00, and re-listened to that part 3 times. I think that is a really life changing way to think about that, and I’ve recently found that is true: when I started doing meditation and relaxation exercises, and I realized they were helping me sleep better, and helping release tension before it builds up into a meltdown (like what you said about crying a little in the flow state), that was when I started being more motivated to do these exercises and meditation more often. A question - do you think activities like laundry, crocheting, etc (I also really enjoy these) have to be done in quiet in order to count as the flow state? Because I often enjoy watching videos while doing these things & find that really relaxing.

  • @Catlily5

    @Catlily5

    Ай бұрын

    Do what works for you!

  • @JelloTwins
    @JelloTwinsАй бұрын

    Thank you.

  • @BrentWigginsWords
    @BrentWigginsWordsАй бұрын

    This hit me right in the thought spot. In a good way. So many bittersweet moments, misses, near misses, blessings in disguise. It's hard to process the world like everyone else. It's hard to process the world being your neurodivergent self. There are grace periods among the mundane challenges though. Sometimes I go long stretches without speaking for days, working on projects for myself, listening to music and podcasts, watching unseen movies for the first time. Another ritual I do is seek creators with similar struggles and interests. Finding common ground while establishing that workflow and life force for yourself each day is regulation goals. Regulation goals is the new squad goals.

  • @FalloutStealth
    @FalloutStealthАй бұрын

    As a Neurodivergent I Stop looking for love and I don’t know how I feel I’m still trying to Learn how I feel most of the time

  • @visionvixxen
    @visionvixxen20 күн бұрын

    Lol my positive baseline is so rare. I don’t think I’ve had it for years now but I remember this fake feeling I used to get after hot yoga or running where it was the runners high and also like an intense relaxation but that’s a positive positive even just a state of Awareness and calmness but focus has not that doesn’t happen. The closest I get to that is when I’m on my ADD meds and I’ve run and I’m still amped up and a little agitated, but the edge has been taken off. It’s really sad like I honestly live my life just trying to get through what’s going on inside, I have been avoiding work and people more since Covid and coming to terms with how much I was medicating myself and becoming a Looney Tunes just to face my job and other things and I still wanna go back to that but I wasn’t being myself

  • @america5108
    @america5108Ай бұрын

    hoping you read this and I can remind you that the stuff you're doing here is so valuable, important and cherished. thank you...

  • @ranich4332
    @ranich4332Ай бұрын

    💜 Let’s talk about that… but no GMM theme song throws my brain off lol.

  • @consuelonavarrohidalgo5334
    @consuelonavarrohidalgo5334Ай бұрын

    7:06 Your face said so, 😂.

  • @ghosted_its
    @ghosted_itsАй бұрын

    is that title a reference????

  • @thethoughtspot222

    @thethoughtspot222

    Ай бұрын

    nope, it’s just the shortest title I could think of to encompass what I wanted to talk about or else my titles will end up being a whole paragraph 💀

  • @ghosted_its

    @ghosted_its

    Ай бұрын

    @@thethoughtspot222 lol makes sense i didn't think you will actually reply thanks!!

  • @_Lord_of_Misrule_
    @_Lord_of_Misrule_Ай бұрын

    LMAO I also thought the dog thing was serious 😂 (and I'm pretty sure I'm autistic too)

  • @BarefootinMotion
    @BarefootinMotionАй бұрын

    I’m less than five minutes into this video and I already know that I’m agreeing with you 100%. I’ve been focused this past year on reconnecting to my intuition, and redeveloping that relationship. This process is what led me to seek answers and begin to research beyond my ADHD diagnosis five years ago, at age 44. Thank you for such quality content ❤

  • @janetzavala3945
    @janetzavala3945Ай бұрын

    33:21 this reminds me of the time I had a movie night to celebrate my last weekend before starting uni. We watched Luca. I cried so hard my dad almost made me turn off the movie 😭😭

  • @Aluenvey
    @AluenveyАй бұрын

    What I found is often I tend to just assume people aren't genuine, and its more surprising when I encounter people whom are about as genuine as I am. Also when you're both high functioning autism, and have trauma, sometimes the difference between those gets...blurry. A lot of why I initially quit one physical activity, and traded it for writing and art is I find more easily get into that flow state. I recently tried Surfskating on the other hand, and it just about approaches art with that flow state.

  • @rays7805
    @rays7805Ай бұрын

    Hey, come on! There's already a channel called I'm Autistic, Now What?

  • @nighthawk244
    @nighthawk244Ай бұрын

    Certified TTS Classic

  • @consuelonavarrohidalgo5334
    @consuelonavarrohidalgo5334Ай бұрын

    You make me wonder if the ritual idea can work for me. I am not ADHD so maybe it could bring me into hiperstimulation but I need to test the idea because I am not able to create rutines that I can keep doing. Thank you so much!!! 🙏🙏🙏.

  • @Oatsys
    @OatsysАй бұрын

    Sorry but where is the skin routine video? I CANT FIND ITTTT

  • @jocelynngrant4223
    @jocelynngrant4223Ай бұрын

    your skin is bomb what is your skin care you use?

  • @LV-qr8fr
    @LV-qr8frАй бұрын

    Around 17:20, ive heard that called convergent vs divergent thinking

  • @Akab
    @AkabАй бұрын

    Really struggle with the video, I wish I could understand your information because i want it to help me but i can't 🙃 even complete isolation is still overwhelming in my case because my brain just wants to process everything at once while actually processing almost nothing like a huge dumpster [metaphorically] (I think that's what my brain is doing?) ... I have 2 states, comfortable and distressed but I'm mostly at distressed, trying to figure out why... I have a huge list of things i "should" feel but just can't pinpoint it 🙃 Anyways, video is well made and I still hope it reaches those who need it 👍

  • @linam.9675
    @linam.9675Ай бұрын

    This stuff is too deep and could easily make 3 or 4 videos! Grateful for such a rich content!

  • @freedomjones2980
    @freedomjones2980Ай бұрын

    I find it so hard to do things in flow state when dsyregulated especially bc of the discomfort of my body/being mainly freeze type. Plus physical disability. Gotta figure out flow state bc once I'm physically rested bc then I get so damn... bored/depressed/drained. I dunno. Still figuring this out.

  • @tashikathomas1093
    @tashikathomas109320 күн бұрын

    Omg... ive been doing rituals.. never knew

  • @emmajwilkins
    @emmajwilkinsАй бұрын

    I’ve never been quicker 😅

  • @neeesaaantooos

    @neeesaaantooos

    Ай бұрын

    Same!! Don't know why but it made me so happy to have a new one JUST NOW

  • @rays7805
    @rays7805Ай бұрын

    If construction noises are a problem, invest in plugins like Supertone Clear. Not that expensive, and will work WONDERS. You have no idea. Just turn one or two knobs, and you're DONE.

  • @Alyssa-sn9fp
    @Alyssa-sn9fpАй бұрын

    My very literal brain reading the title: Umm, no, you have known you were autistic, you have made so many videos about it!!

  • @patrickwheeler5701
    @patrickwheeler5701Ай бұрын

    hey dude i need some help.....i was supposed to go out tomorrow. my batteries was almost charged for the outside ...& some of my relatives came around .....drained them [pffft] all the courage i had ...took me a week to charge them up....gone. is there a way to quickly charge them up? ..........or will i have to start at the bottom? can you help please?

  • @tashikathomas1093

    @tashikathomas1093

    20 күн бұрын

    I relaye to this so much and people look at me crazy when I try to explain it or say that I can't handle socializing or being around someone

  • @shmuelvandercoo4684
    @shmuelvandercoo4684Ай бұрын

    How do you find things that get you into Flow State?

  • @thiccletics
    @thiccleticsАй бұрын

    All I have are feelings 😂…. I want to be less emotional and more level headed. Imma pass on the feeling based living. ❤

  • @Michelle-yq2pe
    @Michelle-yq2peАй бұрын

    My young adult son was diagnosed after high school. I need help understanding how much is too much to expect from him. I don’t know what to expect. I’m confused how to guide him properly. Does that make sense?

  • @Catlily5

    @Catlily5

    Ай бұрын

    It is very individual how much someone can accomplish. Maybe have some conversations with your son and ask him what he wants to accomplish.

  • @drsape2399
    @drsape2399Ай бұрын

    what if you're undiagnosed and work sucks?

  • @1337Cassie
    @1337CassieАй бұрын

    Off topic af, and I apologize but your skin is looking SO G'DANG GOOD ummmm???!! I mean it always does but the skin is winning todayyyyy. The lipstick looks fantastic too! A lovely pop of color. Omg I want that glow, geezzz

  • @reese1719
    @reese1719Ай бұрын

    Thought this was about the youtuber lol

  • @echolaliac
    @echolaliacАй бұрын

    you are one of the most special minds i have encountered in years. and i wish the best and the best for you. thanks! 🤍

  • @visionvixxen
    @visionvixxen20 күн бұрын

    Lol my positive baseline is so rare. I don’t think I’ve had it for years now but I remember this fake feeling I used to get after hot yoga or running where it was the runners high and also like an intense relaxation but that’s a positive positive even just a state of Awareness and calmness but focus has not that doesn’t happen. The closest I get to that is when I’m on my ADD meds and I’ve run and I’m still amped up and a little agitated, but the edge has been taken off. It’s really sad like I honestly live my life just trying to get through what’s going on inside, I have been avoiding work and people more since Covid and coming to terms with how much I was medicating myself and becoming a Looney Tunes just to face my job and other things and I still wanna go back to that but I wasn’t being myself