I *LOVE* how everytime John plays a child on his stand ups, the child always sounds like a 50yo man who's been smoking a pack a day since he was 15

@dylancole1910

4 жыл бұрын

Dalton Filho lol dude your so right😂

@elisham23

4 жыл бұрын

bahaha YES

@lisztomania1317

4 жыл бұрын

So the child sounds like what John Mulaney should sound like?

@elisham23

4 жыл бұрын

@@lisztomania1317 haha he definitely sounds the way some teenagers do :P

@cianor

4 жыл бұрын

He's gotta stop burning the candle at both ends

An unsuited John Mulaney is like a peeled lemon. It feels very wrong to look at.

@vollmond9342

4 жыл бұрын

Yet so tasty

@dinonuggets5212

4 жыл бұрын

Vollmond DeAd 💀

@microgaming9209

4 жыл бұрын

R/cursedcomments

@sophiyarobinson7774

3 жыл бұрын

@@vollmond9342 👁️👄👁️😏😏😏😏

@willow5290

3 жыл бұрын

@@vollmond9342 i-

my eyes feel wrong seeing the tall child without his suit

@tumultuousforce6204

4 жыл бұрын

lmao

@johnathansumner5988

4 жыл бұрын

He felt like an especially strong Asian American woman today so he decided to take a risk

@roadman373

4 жыл бұрын

Don’t forget his high waisted feminine hips

@tayeb7031

4 жыл бұрын

get some rest tall child.

@FlagCutie

4 жыл бұрын

@@roadman373 don't draw attention to that, THAT'S THE THING HE'S SENSITIVE ABOUT!

"For years, I was a child." As was I, John. I love your blunt comedy so much.

@abraxe5469

3 жыл бұрын

Blair Elliott ok

@danmartinico944

3 жыл бұрын

If you're into blunt comedy you should probably check out Pete Davidson

@anonymouslymj1064

3 жыл бұрын

That’s an amazing discovery

@MN-ys2pe

3 жыл бұрын

This is the first comment I saw that doesn't have to do with him not wearing a suit (also why did I think your pfp was little Tommy holding Ted (erets bear))

@oliversissonphone6143

Жыл бұрын

After he said, "for years, I was a child," I was sure a heckler was going to shout out, "aren't you still a child?"

He Talks Exactly Like This

@NugrahaniAnnisa

4 жыл бұрын

I legit read this sentence in his voice

@dbagette

4 жыл бұрын

As. One. Does.

@athalia6062

4 жыл бұрын

nisa did you read it like He Talks EXACTLY Likethis cuz i did

@conquistadorito

4 жыл бұрын

I Cannot Unhear This Ever

@moth8379

4 жыл бұрын

lonelystepsis so u say he’s a kanaya kinnie

this asian american woman looks odd without a suit

@itsriss6449

4 жыл бұрын

She is a strong independent Asian american woman. She can wear what she wants. lol

@griffin1155

4 жыл бұрын

i want to like this comment but there are 666 likes and i will not be the one to ruin that

@nerdypainter3188

4 жыл бұрын

Gabe Sachse maybe it’s the feminine hips

@the.muffin

4 жыл бұрын

@@nerdypainter3188 noooo thats the thing hes sensitive about

@astralunaluv4269

4 жыл бұрын

Gabe Sachse LMAO

It feels wrong to not hear him mention Ice T in this clip

@christopherminutolo9384

4 жыл бұрын

Well, these routines were used in The Top Part.

@aaronburratwood.6957

4 жыл бұрын

Frederick Jones “You mean when somebody does to many scratchy lottery tickets?”

@woodrebel

4 жыл бұрын

Ice T was home sick, he had anal contusions.

@TheKoko907

4 жыл бұрын

@@aaronburratwood.6957 or when somebody smokes too many cigarettes

@christopherminutolo9384

4 жыл бұрын

@@TheKoko907 or when somebody eats too much chocolate cake

I can’t tell if this is from 10 years ago or from yesterday, there is no difference 😂

@Flapjack_710

4 жыл бұрын

Heres to hoping i age like john mulaney

@infiniteinnocence

4 жыл бұрын

I was thinking the same thing! The ambiguity of eras of his jeans is really throwing me off

@dylancole1910

4 жыл бұрын

It can't be recent

@aaronburratwood.6957

4 жыл бұрын

“You can’t keep burning the candle at both ends tall child.”

@kate2326

4 жыл бұрын

the jeans tell me 10 years

First Minute: John was bad at math Other four and a half minutes of the video: a romcom about two people with the same eye transplant donor The titles of these are only ever related to the video for about two seconds, but they usually end up going somewhere better anyway.

@aaronburratwood.6957

4 жыл бұрын

Hayley Sullivan Cause that’s a professional.

@beitie

4 жыл бұрын

I scrolled to find a comment like this. I was not disappointed.

@florphy1237

3 жыл бұрын

Soooo.... First minute: Straight man talks about yet ANOTHER homosexual trait Second minute: Straight man talks about yet ANOTHER homosexual topic

@purpleisdebeste

3 жыл бұрын

Don’t forget law and order

@mcmonkey26

2 жыл бұрын

@@florphy1237 whats homosexual about being bad at math?

I deeply appreciate how he pronounces the "d" in the "and" of Law and Order.

@am.3168

4 жыл бұрын

sounds like Law an Dorder

@samara92

4 жыл бұрын

@@am.3168 yes and I appreciate that. Deeply.

@danielleisaacs6237

4 жыл бұрын

I was so confused. I was like, "Is this a show I know?" And then i realized he was talking about Law an Order.

@haveagoodday629

4 жыл бұрын

Danielle Isaacs 😂😂😂

@MrPrius-fy1sc

3 жыл бұрын

lawn order

you can just FEEL that something is different in this clip. WHERE IS HIS NICE JEWISH GIRLFRIEND??

@Hotpink51

4 жыл бұрын

you mean his jewish wife who's a bitch and he likes so much?

@moistnugget4147

4 жыл бұрын

people can't go to shows cause of the quarantine

@friendofmara6109

4 жыл бұрын

Moist nugget are you talking in general or this show because this show is definitely a few years old

@moistnugget4147

4 жыл бұрын

@@friendofmara6109 you could have done better

@friendofmara6109

4 жыл бұрын

Moist nugget what

"Heh, school's out" and then they lock eyes

@Luckiilav

4 жыл бұрын

every student in the us rn

@bjpe8228

4 жыл бұрын

@@Luckiilav who you locking eyes with in isolation

@Luckiilav

4 жыл бұрын

@@bjpe8228 my gf, hbu?

@ragingbonercontrolcentre

4 жыл бұрын

@@Luckiilav ... my lonely reflection in the mirror

@daveydoinks5347

3 жыл бұрын

@@Luckiilav heh no you're not😆🤣

I've never heard an audience laugh at his "for years, I was a child" bit. Which upsets me, cause I find it unreasonably funny

"How often are you questioned by homicide detectives?" Probably a lot considering how often this guy appears in episodes

@abraxe5469

3 жыл бұрын

qetr i ok

@whyrubuyingclothesatasoupstore

3 жыл бұрын

@@abraxe5469 ok

@brendan8915

Жыл бұрын

That's the joke you doink.

@GiselleKlara

Жыл бұрын

so no big deal, like a lunch break

"Four and five is twelve" 😂

😐 I'm the guy with the crates in real life. I'm from Brooklyn. I work in kitchens and bars. Cops have been by at least 4 times in a year. I don't watch Law & Order. L&O watches me.

@faristasairuv5143

3 жыл бұрын

@gentlesandladymen

3 жыл бұрын

Kofi Mills' Videos what was the stand out story? The one you remember most clearly

@junghyungeorgialee9874

3 жыл бұрын

:0 wow

@ShovelChef

3 жыл бұрын

@@gentlesandladymen, a shooting on the block, possibly involving the club next door. That was a busy week.

@gentlesandladymen

3 жыл бұрын

Kofi Mills' Videos wow! I hope that you and everyone around is okay.

WHY WAS THIS FILM NEVER MADE?!? Netflix have missed a trick there, it's a better plot than half the films I was offered last time I searched for a romcom!

@dbagette

4 жыл бұрын

They could easily adapt the Last Christmas script into this. And instead of the song, it'll be based on exactly this bit

@CinemaDemocratica

4 жыл бұрын

I was sitting here thinking something similar: Movies are such shit now, and the vetting process so broken, that if this were presented to me straight, I would have had no trouble believing it.

@southpark645

3 жыл бұрын

CinemaDemocratica then you just haven’t watched enough movies

@KingNothing1118

3 жыл бұрын

I think Ryan Reynolds and Jennifer Anniston. Charlie Day is the guy’s friend, Steve Buscemi is the baptism guy, and Carol Kane is the dead teacher. And they use “Suddenly I See” by KT Tunstall for the trailers. Come on, Netflix!

@taccarrowilson9342

11 ай бұрын

@@KingNothing1118 but the big question is who has the left eye and who has the right eye?

John Mulaney: "I was terrible in school" Also John Mulaney: *goes to GEORGETOWN*

@dougthealligator

3 жыл бұрын

His dad was on the board

@fromthehaven94

3 жыл бұрын

Just like Dr. Dre's daughter at USC.

@ananya4184

3 жыл бұрын

For an English Major and now they want his money

@Roserae16

3 жыл бұрын

A HUNDRED AND TWENTY THOUSAND DOLLARS AND THEY SPENT IT ALREADY?!

@alexismontez4230

2 жыл бұрын

But not for mathematics

Seeing John Mulaney without a suit is like seeing your teacher at a grocery store.

@selimcansakar8251

Жыл бұрын

fax

Cops call it "The Law and Order shuffle." Sort of a running joke because NO ONE keeps doing work like that when questioned by police. They specifically sit people down when questioning and often bring them into the station for more serious questioning. The reason for the Law and Order shuffle is to keep the scene more visually interesting and dynamic, giving it a sense of movement instead of boring camera 1 camera 2. Highly inaccurate, but necessary for visual flow.

Jerry Orbach died in 2004 so if John says he died "a couple years ago," this performance is from more than 10 years ago!

@lisztomania1317

4 жыл бұрын

It’s from about 12 years ago

@allisonblood

4 жыл бұрын

You know it’s old when he referenced her having a Bluetooth

I thought it should’ve been called “Seeing Eye to Eye” It could have involved seeing-eye dogs, like they train dogs for blind people

@akaz6063

4 жыл бұрын

benedictify your title is better, ngl

@GaryMillyz

4 жыл бұрын

I see what you did there...

@Envy_May

3 жыл бұрын

eye see

@Starlight_7890

3 жыл бұрын

There is a song called eye to eye 😂😂

@iambicpentakill971

Жыл бұрын

As long as they keep the tagline, 'Love is spelled with two Is', I'm in.

“huh, schools out” and then they lock eyes THAT SENT ME

"How often are you being questioned by homicide detectives?" *Every single episode.*

“4 + 5 is 12” underrated lol

"We picked the name ourselves" always gets me

Why he look like the flash lmao

@kevinescobar9680

4 жыл бұрын

Dead 😂

@davidalexander3320

4 жыл бұрын

He actually has material in one of his specials about being mistaken for him.

@martyrmayne

4 жыл бұрын

G Sicki why are you talking like a black person

@dinopenut

4 жыл бұрын

@@martyrmayne why is it automatically black

@shytoad720

4 жыл бұрын

@@davidalexander3320 wait which one??

I feel like john should write this movie now that were in lockdown

The fact that he included the detail of “new line cinema presents” gives me life

It feels weird that he's not wearing a suit :/

@creativeblunder

4 жыл бұрын

Pikachu Charizard HELL yeah

@justtryit4057

4 жыл бұрын

Pikachu Charizard he was probably smoking coke during this time.

@justice4all718

4 жыл бұрын

@@justtryit4057 smoking coke?

@lisztomania1317

4 жыл бұрын

JustTryIt you can’t smoke coke man

@microgaming9209

4 жыл бұрын

Elizabeth Smith that’s how you know they do coke

I feel like I’m seeing him naked since he doesn’t have his suit on 😳

not sure how being bad at Math leads into Jerry Orbach's eyeballs, but ok!

Nice shout out to Jerry Orbach. He really was the best. RIP.

Should've called it "Love at second sight"

@nukhokeyho3293

3 жыл бұрын

dang

3:50 look at him no one was laughing but he didn't loose confidence and he got one at the end imagine how hard that would be when the audience is just looking up at you

“I watch too much crime stuff...” with no transition 😂😂Saw he got out of rehab recently, hope he’s doing okay 🥰🥰🥰

I need Love at First Sight to be an SNL skit about as much as humanity needs a vaccine for Covid19

@vladimirenlow4388

2 жыл бұрын

Hey, we got one... here's hope for the other!

i can’t stop watching him please someone make me stop

You can really see how he has mastered his craft from then to now. Bravo.

Hallmark: "write that down, right that down"

@tejaswoman

2 ай бұрын

"Engraved?"

John Mulaney needs to make that movie. I think he has enough power to do it now! 😂

It took me a while to realize 4 and 5 is in fact NOT TWELVE.

@athalia6062

4 жыл бұрын

505 SAME for a second everything he said after that, i didn’t hear because i was trying to do the math

@sophiathefurbst

3 жыл бұрын

Oh my god I didn’t even realize

So this is how my favourite Female Asian comedian started her career... Wonderful

You're level of thinking & delivery are too advanced for the average audience Mr. Mulaney. One of my favorite comics

This skit is twelve years old and you’re posting this in 2020?

@MiracleWinchester

4 жыл бұрын

Mulaney is timeless

@brookreed9621

4 жыл бұрын

Like you’re one to talk. Your profile pick is Hamilton in 2020

@brookreed9621

4 жыл бұрын

I’m sorry. That was rude. His comedy ages really well though. I’d forgotten about this gem

@jaydenf897

4 жыл бұрын

Brook Reed no, no. That’s fair.

@samanthaslagel8138

4 жыл бұрын

woah that interaction really tells a lot about John Mulaney fans

Thumbnail looks like he's singing a song

@carolinah4348

4 жыл бұрын

don't you mean a psalm? :D

@tejaswoman

2 ай бұрын

​@@carolinah4348I love that every joke I think of to make in response to these comments has already been made by an equally ardent Mulaney fan

@carolinah4348

2 ай бұрын

@@tejaswoman :D it's nice to know I'm not the only one whose brain immediately goes there

Aww, baby Mulaney

I love how this clip is titled "Being Bad At Math" but it's mostly about Jerry Orbach's eyes (and I'm fine with that!)

Omg I remember when this first aired. Mulaney was unknown at the time but I remember hanging on to his bit. I remember the phrase "miss more than certain relatives." I've been using it to describe my favourite cat's death for a decade

Huh, Schools out - 2020 students

"For years, I was a child"

I feel like this movie trailer would be on interdimensional cable.

“I was a child for years” I mean yeah

@GaryMillyz

4 жыл бұрын

That's the joke, buddy

mulaney owns jeans?

God he looks tired. Get some rest, tall child!!!

@ruscopcoltrain

4 жыл бұрын

Nick Brennen Can’t have him burning the candle at both ends.

so young, tall and tired ♥️

@abigaelle9647

4 жыл бұрын

zizinnnn so Asian-American, womanly and proud ❤️

@notgoodwithnames78

4 жыл бұрын

a real tiger-mom right there ❤️

@eitanlubowitz520

4 жыл бұрын

@zizinnnn Look at those feminine hips

@rubygwin-knickerbocker1503

4 жыл бұрын

Get some rest, tall child

@notgoodwithnames78

4 жыл бұрын

Eitan Lubowitz why’d you have to call him out like that? That’s the thing he’s sensitive about!

Sometimes when I watch a John Mulaney video I go to save it into my John Mulaney playlist then realize I already saved it

Such an amazing storyteller

School's out and then they lock eyes. 👀👀

You can tell by his whole demeanor that he was MUCH younger. He has mastered the straight face.

The guy unloading crates!!!! 😂😂😂 so dam true!!!!

John: I wasn’t good in school Also John: Goes to George Town

That’s basically the plot of Last Christmas with Emilia Clarke

Thats so true. A real person would stop loading crates right? 😆

What a talent !!!!!!! John Mulaney is a delightful, clever, charming, handsome, quick-witted, brilliant comedian. His material is rich, highly original and full of insights. So much so, I wonder why I never heard of him before. But I am not American so I guess that's why.....

"I was bad at school" *Went to Georgetown*

@feverspell

4 жыл бұрын

Well, both his parents went there, and I believe he mentioned in an interview that his father was on a board at the university, so that probably had a lot to do with it. That said, he's mentioned in other interviews that he worked hard at getting good grades, mostly to keep up appearances so no one knew he was a drug addict and blackout drunk in high school, so while he was probably bad at math, he did well in everything else.

Fun fact: Jerry Orbach is buried in the same cemetery as the Hamiltons/Schuylers and a lot of other famous people

I like that the title only describes maybe the first minute of the clip. Also they cut off the final joke before anyone laughs making it appear like the audience had no reaction at all

"For years, I was a child." You're not fooling anyone, John.

why would you cut out the laughter after the last joke

That movie could be the envy of Hallmark!

1:01 I think that guy is at every comedy special of every comedian since 2005

I never considered John ever did any more comedy after his Netflix specials. Like just three and done. In and out. A comedy spirit who visited us one fortnight

@iamsosorry3175

4 жыл бұрын

This is actually from yeeears age. Hard to tell though when he doesn’t age.

@tejaswoman

2 ай бұрын

1. _The Top Part_ (which includes this material) 2. _New In Town_ 3. _The Comeback Kid_ 4. _Kid Gorgeous at Radio City_ *those were all the specials at the time you wrote this comment* 5. _Baby J_

“and for yearsss I was a child..” comedy🤌

he has always been so natural for this, so funny.

The high waisted, feminine hipped, tall child looks unusual without a suit.

He is so great. That eye skit is so amazing

Super funny. This guy is an awesome comedian/writer💯

Not only is he not in a suit, he's (gasp!) wearing a Livestrong bracelet.

"I was a kid" uh that's a lie, you were born a dapper 30 year old.

not sure why this got recommended to me but i'm not complaining

I appreciate his insights into Law: An Dorder

i love his voice from this eras

I love this man

John mulaney is one of 2 or 3 comedians that makes me laugh out loud

If I was a teacher and had 2 groups of students I would call them group 1 and group 3 and when anyone asks where’s group 2 I’d say “ we don’t talk about group 2”

“Group 3” would’ve been a funnier joke…playing into the bad at math theme

"We picked the name ourselves." Poor souls.

"...ahh, 4 and 5 is twelve." - John Mulaney

I LOVE YOU DUDE!!🤣🤣 HILARIOUS 🤣🤩🤩 👏👏👏

That ending slayed me 😂

He’s insane I love him

The woman in the background at 1:41 looks like a ton of fun. The perfect person I'd want to bring to a comedy show

“This summer, seeing it eye 2 eye”

He is so adorable

1:41 the girl in the back looks like she’s having fun

This is beautiful 😂

This video was the first in my recommended and it read my mind when I was thinking about just turning in my unfinished math assignment because I had given up on it

Best setting for a movie

Eye transplant is kinda common in Asian horror movies, always the beginning of some haunted stories cause the eye recipient will start seeing 👻👻👻