Photos of your children must be present if they themselves can not be

@akari1605

5 жыл бұрын

Greedy D lmao gotta take those precautions

@hellok1ttycake186

5 жыл бұрын

My rules

@catalinagatita

5 жыл бұрын

I am laughing too hard.

@SYDAirlineEnthusiast

5 жыл бұрын

I love how she says the word “sun” to Louis. “Sun”, “ghost”, “red”, and “cat”. Except for ghost, the other three words wouldnt sound better in any other language.

@nopenope7700

5 жыл бұрын

I read this as soon as she said it.

Honestly if you are complaining about how crazy she is in this scene then you have not seen a single episode of Fresh Off The Boat... this is nothing.

@shaniasmith9999

6 жыл бұрын

Cindy Nguyen I remember when she yanked out her sons tooth and threatened to sue when she didnt want to pay extra fees at a hotel.

@violattevi

6 жыл бұрын

I just remember the Chinese Santa scene 😂

@SYDAirlineEnthusiast

5 жыл бұрын

When the sun is up. My favorite line. So cute when she says the word “sun”.

@HeebaShah

5 жыл бұрын

Cindy Nguyen I agree

@carlospecho6010

5 жыл бұрын

thats why i dont these are cringy as fuck throw the hoe away

She is an amazing actor.. lmao

@vtgamehendge

8 жыл бұрын

I know, right? I never watched the show, but I just found out that she plays the wife and I went to school with her from like 1st through 10th grade. Crazy world.

@Ayveh

7 жыл бұрын

Right!!!

@wolf2966

6 жыл бұрын

Or she is really like this then she’s just bat shit crazy

@jay-xz7gv

6 жыл бұрын

I like her voice

@lequinntessential

6 жыл бұрын

Helo Well, I'd love to see you act. I mean, it can't be that hard right?

The writing for this show is on point. I love this scene so much.

@corneliathefifthya7452

6 жыл бұрын

Clarisse Lee samee

@Truthshallsety0ufree

5 жыл бұрын

Agree. Writing is super! Her acting lets it down

@samiralupiac1011

4 жыл бұрын

its ali wong she has a special called baby cobra and another one, when you see it you see this type of humor

@meghanscoggins4394

3 жыл бұрын

The writing is great, but the delivery makes it.

"or look like she weighs less than me" IM SO 😭😂😂😂

@moonlily1

4 жыл бұрын

She's kind of as skinny as a person can be without being too skinny, so women who weigh less than her...generally shouldn't be thought of as a threat.

@imsungjaesmelody.thesnorte5623

2 жыл бұрын

@@moonlily1 skinny shaming, are we today

@adamleckius2253

2 жыл бұрын

@@imsungjaesmelody.thesnorte5623 what??

i think she deserves an emmy for this show.

@peterchoi6087

6 жыл бұрын

Migu and a golden globe

@bidyarthiwb1767

6 жыл бұрын

Migu I love the show . I don't know why I feel character is on point but her portrayal isn't.

@sammygonzales5081

4 жыл бұрын

If Louis from Malcolm in the middle didn't then she can't

this is one of the reason why we need more female asian actors

@oof-rr5nf

6 жыл бұрын

Patient Zero YES PLEASE!!! (Tho I'd like some Indian American female actors in that category too)

@HeyImMandy

6 жыл бұрын

Arunima Tiwari lol an Indian actress IS an Asian actress

@oof-rr5nf

6 жыл бұрын

mandyhaswifi True. But it gets so confusing. Asian? Do you mean West Asian, South Asian, South East Asian, East Asian!? So I just wanted to clarify the sub-category.

@esley02

5 жыл бұрын

*actress

@anicarol

5 жыл бұрын

@@esley02 actually, "actress" is a Hollywood term, invented with the popularity of film. Saying "female actor" is actually appropriate, and arguably more appropriate than saying "actress" Also "female [Asian] actress" would be redundant.

going back lazy eye is out as it encourages eye contact. lol, really who's the writer?

@thadyndupont9609

7 жыл бұрын

Lei S I love Ali Wong

@djdb1214

6 жыл бұрын

Ali Wong is incredible

@RareCandeh

6 жыл бұрын

I don't get it... how does having a lazy eye encourage eye contact? I'm dumb lol

@charlesrusso7646

6 жыл бұрын

Yes so funny

@charlesrusso7646

6 жыл бұрын

The lazy eye and her facial expression made it a classic

clear soup or broth ONLY !

@slaiyfershin

5 жыл бұрын

Dont get why tho

@stevenliang3213

5 жыл бұрын

slaiyfershin : Because those food are bland. More elegant and stylized dishes exude romance. Spaghetti can be eaten from both ends, milk shakes can be sipped together, and more

@kimberlynguyen124

5 жыл бұрын

Lin Bin 😂😂😂 so clever

@seanyeo5514

5 жыл бұрын

slaiyfershin that’s because clear soups and broths are considered ‘cooling’ to the body as opposed to ‘heaty’ foods (fried or roasted as opposed to steamed and boiled) which raise the body temperature and may incite the libido. Us Chinese have a similar view of food to the Tudors. :-P

@akiraokumura6661

4 жыл бұрын

I just liked your 999 comment and made it 1k 🔸🔹

My favourite caveat is "you must display your wedding ring close to your face" he's not going to look weird walking around with his left hand by his cheek. 😂😂😂

@someguy2744

4 жыл бұрын

He can pretend that he has a toothache or maybe he could do the Thinker pose: hand on chin, ring on display and very visible.

@I_Have_The_Most_Japanese_Music

Жыл бұрын

Also, the children (or pictures of) must be present.

@IkesPimpHand

Жыл бұрын

I think it's weird she expects him to obey her orders

@user-nj9ru4ef2w

9 ай бұрын

@@someguy2744 or he could just use his wedding ring as a nose ring

1:00 As a dude, I find her gymnast rule to be....yeah that's fair.

@pyroxldasmellgood6196

5 жыл бұрын

I'm not touching this subject. I'm not. I want to but nah. Not bad not bad

@grey4612

5 жыл бұрын

I'm curious, what is the gymnast rule in ?

@someguy2744

4 жыл бұрын

Could someone elaborate?

@This_is_Bambii

4 жыл бұрын

I'm assuming it's because gymnasts are typically in good shape and flexible

@lewisalvarez2859

4 жыл бұрын

That Guy kzread.info/dash/bejne/mpyVzZqbl8WypNo.html

I love how she loses the accent at the end "no Denzel movies" 😂

"clear soups and broths only" has me cackling. anyone who's won a partner via food knows the danger

I don't know how she did this scene without laughing her ass out. Too funny.

@selohcin

2 жыл бұрын

She was probably too focused on remembering this labyrinthine list of demands to have the spare mental energy to laugh at the sheer absurdity of it all.

@mysteriouscliche

2 жыл бұрын

@@selohcin 💯🤣

@guyver441

Жыл бұрын

@@selohcin Or...she was speaking from the heart

@deviluv85

Жыл бұрын

How you know she didn't ng many times?

@trytoo5167

11 ай бұрын

You've obviously never been in an abusive relationship with this type of women. This is triggering for me and is anything but funny.

I like how she doesn't do the stereotypical accent but her inflections signal that she's not speaking American English. Brilliant execution.

Smokey eye makeup: Bad Lazy eye: Good

@EllieC130

4 жыл бұрын

No BAD; it encourages eye contact!

Favorite scene. Best family show! Happy I found this clip!

I firmly believe that Constance Wu is the reason for this shows success.

@maggiemcfly5267

5 жыл бұрын

And now she's probably gonna be the reason of its demise

@Bob31415

2 жыл бұрын

Ya think?

@selohcin

2 жыл бұрын

Randall Park was also really good!

@Samael6685

10 ай бұрын

Yes

Constance Wu is just a gem. We aren't worthy of witnessing such talent.

louis: so i can never be around a woman outside of work? jessica: that’s not what i’m saying. that would be crazy. all i am saying is if you’re going to hang out with a woman, it has to be when the sun is up. and she can’t be taller than me or younger than me or weigh less than me or look like she weighs less than me. also, you can’t share food. okay, i guess if you’re stranded and you have to share food then clear soups and broths only! and you will display your wedding band close to your face at all times. photos of your children must be present if they themselves cannot be. if she happens to touch you, even by accident, you will excuse yourself and call me immediately! if she has smokey eye makeup, that is bad. if she has a lazy eye, that is good. louis: jessica jessica: you must always travel in separate vehicles. going back, lazy eye is out. it encourages eye contact. and she must never ever been or ever wanted to be a gymnast. oh and this goes without saying but no denzel movies. love her. Edit: I wrote this for myself lol so I can’t recite it one day

@thaiCase

5 жыл бұрын

bibbidibobbidiboo helpful

@flowersmile123

3 жыл бұрын

Thanks

@thunderstar254

3 жыл бұрын

Thanks I'm deaf

@khanhtn9665

3 жыл бұрын

thanks a lot, my audio is off, lol

@fizziz_1035

3 жыл бұрын

.

lol, what a great show.

"Oh and this goes without saying no denzel movies" she is so talented and amazing at wat she does

@Pulse22

6 жыл бұрын

Vishnu Manimaran I can't wait for her movie that's coming out soon. She's the reason I watch the show.

@vishnumanimaran8071

6 жыл бұрын

Pulse22 same she is so funny and crazy rich asians the movie is coming soon i have been watching the trailer more than 5 times alrdy haha

Why is everyone laughing? I find this a perfectly reasonable list of demands

@didii.4025

3 жыл бұрын

Lol yes😂

@manjushreeinamdar1242

2 жыл бұрын

Me three

@Amaranthyne

2 жыл бұрын

Most of it is. Sun up, separate cars, no touching, and the wedding band stays on. No Denzel movies also seems like a good idea. If you are attracted to her you can still be friends-but then you never get to meet alone.

@spyox2215

2 жыл бұрын

If you want a toxic partnership this is definitly reasonable.

@deadstig345

2 жыл бұрын

I'm assuming you're a troll and joking, so good job getting this comment out of me

“That’s a good” just killed me. Her voice had me cracking up there.

Let's be honest, this all for love.

@curiouspilot

5 жыл бұрын

Love of control.

@michellepaul8514

3 жыл бұрын

It’s all cause she’s insecure cause she thinks her husband doesn’t want her and will want someone more attractive than her, cause she’s insecure about herself not being attractive. But this is just a character in a tv show and it’s a joke.

@alliwishis2652

3 жыл бұрын

@@michellepaul8514 here in North Carolina where we are reminded about this big-time actress Ava Gardner she had gotten married to this big-time actor I think his name is Mickey Rooney but this was the gist just of their relationship

We need more Constance Wu!

She has to win an Emmy at some point. This show will not work without Constance.

I love this darn show and have a serious crush on Constance Wu. She’s absolutely gorgeous.

Now that she's the star of a blockbuster movie, she can finally be in consideration for Emmys. Constance is too underrated.

Now that is comedic talent! Awesome job Constance Wu 👍🏽👍🏽

A man and woman stranded in a dessert: Her: I’m so hungry! Can you hand me the granola bars? Him: Sorry, I’m afraid you can’t have these. *throws granola to the ground and stamps it into the sand* Her: WHAT THE HELL?! Him: “Clear soups or broths only!”

Jessica is the BEST character on the show.

This is me. I'm adding this to my favorites and sending it as an explanation on when they ask me what's an appropriate friend.

Love her, she is my favorite character :) she makes everything, so naturally, like she is not even acting haha

It's like she studied the rule book and memorized it.

WHOS HERE FROM CRAZY RICH ASIANS TO SEE HER DIFF WORKS. SHES AMAZIN

@stevenliang3213

5 жыл бұрын

yung basa : Puh-lease! I knew who Constance Wu was before that movie.

@sangicck2399

5 жыл бұрын

Me

I can’t watch too much of this😂Jessica, you are a genius

lol i just realized im like this with my boyfriend. It kind of puts it into perspective seeing someone else do it. Maybe I should tone down a bit? xD

@Tiger74147

6 жыл бұрын

That just shows you just think a man is an animal that you don't respect or trust. Anyway, yes tone it down because being treated like a baby or dog doesn't feel good. I'm surprised he even puts up with it!

@juliawhysoasian

6 жыл бұрын

It's stated as a fact majority of men cheat on their significant other, starting way back in ancient times as well. Men had more than one wife, and plenty of concubines. No wonder women are so skeptical of their boyfriends cheating or getting tempt into cheating :/

@Tiger74147

6 жыл бұрын

Where is this "fact"? Statistics say the numbers are roughly even with women actually a few percentages more likely. The men in history you refer to are less than 1% of the population, the richest and most powerful. Genetically we know as many as 40% of men never reproduced.

@DwynTwo

6 жыл бұрын

+julia So women don't cheat? Besides, if you don't trust your partner from the beginning simply because he's a man, you shouldn't be in a relationship to begin with. Stop only seeing gender and start taking his personality in consideration. +Violet Haze Yes, definitely tone it down unless you're fine with him treating you this way too.

@issecret1

6 жыл бұрын

Tiger74147 where do you guys get your statistics? I’m not trying to argue with you, just interested. One I got from a book I recently read had 50% of men and 26% of women cheat

Sounds a lot like my mom (Chinese as well). She is surprisingly the jealous type. Once I was at a wedding with my dad in China (she was in Germany at the time) she called me but heard a woman talking to my dad in the background and asked me who was trying to flirt with him. Well, nowadays Chinese men having mistresses is so common; so she is worried when he has to make business trips. I kinda understand her but then again, I think/ hope my dad is not the type of guy who would cheat on my mum 🤞🏻

@silent1823

5 жыл бұрын

He is. Hes just good at hiding it.

@Jobe-13

5 жыл бұрын

Valenchina Welp

@MrLegatoblue

4 жыл бұрын

Asian women are paranoid

@olivejake3053

4 жыл бұрын

​@@ANKET47 Welp,that's not the majority. Chinese are known to have good family values. Honestly speaking,i have never been able to imagine more than one or two of my family members or my friends' family members cheat on their partners....

@Mikesky10

4 жыл бұрын

Yo are pretty

I love this woman she is so beautiful

She is my spirit animal

@lauriewinek2453

5 жыл бұрын

If she's your spirit animal, seek counseling.

Hell! Jessica nailed this part... 😅 Every dialogue and her expression upto the point.. 👍 I watch fresh of the boat only to see her craziness.. Big fan of hers...🤘

Omg this show is gold.

Omg.. I just started watching this shot..it's the best...she's amazing

I wish I didn't laugh at this scene, and it wasn't at the crazy rules. It was the look on his face. Priceless... And relatable for me!..

"It goes without saying. . . No Denzel movies" hahahaha love this woman and show

Great show!!

Slavic woman: Loads AK-47 and says "Don`t cheat" Asian women: This is the regulation rulebook of the CCP. Slams 10 tons of paper on table.

If my wife ain't this crazy, I dont want her

@Marklee-lx7cd

4 жыл бұрын

It's not that hard to find a jealous woman you will end up with one even if don't want to lol .

@OOTO.

2 жыл бұрын

@@Marklee-lx7cd heh heh this guy knows

@felisd

2 жыл бұрын

No. No No No. Never. Stick Your. Dick. In. Crazy. The sex is amazing, but in the long run, it is SO not worth it. And I say this as a female.

I’ve watched the whole series and i enjoyed it a lot!

Underrated show. I discovered this show only recently

I'm thinking these are pretty well articulated rules

This scene was a walk in the park compared to that scene where she literally took away Eddie's bed

I like her direct and detailed approach, I appreciate that lol

*This actress is Amazing! Lol! Love her!* 👍

this goes without saying, but no Denzel movies. ahahahahahahaha

"If she happens to touch you, even if by accident, you will excuse yourself and call me immediately!" PREACH! lol

Everyone on this show is great but she's phenomenal.

Love love love this show 😂

I'm so done.

@friendlywafersedits3340

8 жыл бұрын

+Tia Hunter with what?

@fransiscachandra2390

6 жыл бұрын

hahahaha with women

Ive heard of this show, but never watched it, this makes me want to watch it so bad. Asian people are awesome

She honestly makes the show

OMG! She needs to write a book..she got every rule

It's a shame that they got rid of this show with such a good show

She’s awesome 😂

What a great actor she is... Damn, I adore her..

Constance Wu was amazing in Crazy Rich Asians - I love her in Fresh Off the Boat - I want her in more films and shows 🥺👏✨❤️

I LOVE THIS!!!!!! Trying to find the complete full episodes... where are they found?

@maryanntorres9218

8 жыл бұрын

Hulu!!!

@daisyh9449

7 жыл бұрын

Search watch episodes 1 and click the first link, and type fresh off the boat into the website's search bar

@emmazilke2309

7 жыл бұрын

Michelle Lisa you can watch the recent episodes for free with the ABC app

best scene ever... hahaha...

Love this show

I need more episodes/movies with her

Very reasonable agreement. I concur. 🤔😊🐆

She’s hilarious!!!

The ending of this episode was the cherry on top

How has she not been emmy nominated its far better than most comedy on air right now???

I used to have an Asian girlfriend, she was just like this lol

She's beautiful and cute 👍

Give her a hug she needs it

All that requirements in one minute and I still felt that.🤣

The way she changes her mind about the lazy eyes. lol

@bugskarotioz5468

3 жыл бұрын

no eye contact

LOWKEY...i ain't mad at these rules!

@Yessica.haircut

Жыл бұрын

Toxic

Idk why but the scene just popped into my head for some reason so here I am

Can’t wait for her movie to come out!

Is it weird that I wish I had a girlfriend like her? I kind of like the idea of a partner who feels protective of me.

@deadstig345

2 жыл бұрын

Funny as this is to watch on a TV show, you should never confuse this toxic behavior with actual love and care. Someone can feel protective of you without setting unrealistic boundaries that can and will be broken through day to day activities, which can lead to arguments, fights, and broken hearts. It only seems like fun from outside. Remember kids, never stick your dick in crazy

@vijayvijay4123

7 ай бұрын

Maybe You weren't loved enough as a child. Jesus is our only saviour. His love is unconditional

Those are very reasonable demands

How is she so PRETTY 😍😍

shes adorable

Lol, I think Mike Pence must have been taking notes from this!

@Seabourch

5 жыл бұрын

Mike Pence would make an excellent Chinese husband.

damn not giving him any options are ya? lol.

And this is why she is my favorite. She a master at everything :D

"Oh ! this goes without saying but... no denzel movies !!" killed me with this one 😂 😂

I actually laughed at this because I am the same way 💖🤦🏽‍♀️👌👑😅

From the thumbnail it looked like Louise gave her a slap and she's covering half of her face in pain

Great soliloquy... would love to see it used in an acting class!

A book of wise relationship advice

I see people say crazy girl. Crazy girl?! Please this is ASIAN standard practice.

Reminds me so much of my ex... then she ended up being the one to cheat. Go figure, but I've come to think that jealousy is more about what the jealous party is worried that THEY would do in a situation. Big red flag for me these days

@priscillajimenez27

4 жыл бұрын

I've seen that a lot

@jamesp877

3 жыл бұрын

It's nothing but projection. She wouldn't think twice about going out and fucking someone behind your back, so she can't even fathom her man not doing the same. As you say, it's a major red flag.

@worldwide123

3 жыл бұрын

That’s not always true. I used to think the same but bad experiences change you... I’m not saying that this kind of behavior is right, but it doesn’t mean that she’s someone who would cheat, it just means that she has trust issues (maybe because of bad experiences?) or doesn’t want her man “accidentally” emotionally cheating on her. But obviously there are also people who DO react that way because that’s what they would do in that situation, so it really depends on the person.

@Ealsante

2 жыл бұрын

It's projection. The reason they don't think you can keep your hands to yourself, is because they can't keep their hands to themselves.

Constance Wu is amazing and I love the show.

This is GOLD

This is me being not jealous.