“It’s only a war crime if there are survivors”

@realdragon

2 жыл бұрын

It's not war crime if Geneva convetion doesn't exist yet

@defensivekobra3873

2 жыл бұрын

if a -tree- war crime falls over in the middle of the forest and nobody is there to see it, did it really happen?

@jadenzantslayers6694

2 жыл бұрын

@@realdragon That's something me and my bois say all the time when we play games like Civ 5

@robertk1701

2 жыл бұрын

@@realdragon and remember, the rules don't apply if you don't ratify. The U.S. never ratified the treaty banning hollow point bullets in warfare, so not a war crime if they use them. Per Wikipedia, the U.S. military had even produced some for special circumstances.

@jackmaniscalco3392

2 жыл бұрын

It’s called the Geneva Convention, not the Geneva Requirement, more of a Geneva Suggestion.

Ahh, Spiff, putting the "casual" in "civilian casualties."

@weblurker-stuffifoundonthe6208

2 жыл бұрын

This comment implies the existance of competetive civilian casualties. And I really want to witness those.

@cin2110

2 жыл бұрын

@@weblurker-stuffifoundonthe6208 covid says hi

@danielharvison7510

2 жыл бұрын

@@weblurker-stuffifoundonthe6208 Well...not too get too dark or anything, but world war 2 says hello.

@gaolmiralis2247

2 жыл бұрын

@@danielharvison7510 More like the Thirty Years War

@danielharvison7510

2 жыл бұрын

@@gaolmiralis2247 Well, when a war goes that long, I guess people get sick of it after a while, and just go "screw it, just END it already!"

“The Welsh can have nothing as always” - I mean Spiff’s not wrong 😢

@EEEEEEEE

2 жыл бұрын

‎‎E‎

@AxxLAfriku

2 жыл бұрын

WARNING I am the unprettiest human YTer worldwide. Take the hint, dear 5om

@johnconnorburns3269

2 жыл бұрын

Cymru rydd

@franciscohughes1757

2 жыл бұрын

At least we have our leaks and mountains

@SephirothRyu

2 жыл бұрын

They can have lots of derilect old castles.

"Warcrime" is a word loaded with unfair criticism. I prefer "creativity in the context of international suggestions".

Me: How do I get rich in Empire: Total War? The Spiffing Brit: The secret ingredient is Crime.

@wytseboonstra

2 жыл бұрын

it always is and was... perfectly balanced!

@TheDolfanar

2 жыл бұрын

Technically the secret ingredient was *lime*

@mrginge143

2 жыл бұрын

Technically the secret ingredient was *I’m*

@TheDaltonius

2 жыл бұрын

On a planetary scale

@darkdragon6719

2 жыл бұрын

Lol so true

Love the way he said:"Look at them doing a spin!".just the joy in his voice got me.

@zackgraygray6554

2 жыл бұрын

Fair enough

@cigan900

2 жыл бұрын

spain without the a

@benedictul

2 жыл бұрын

@@cigan900 or without the "s"

@cigan900

2 жыл бұрын

spiny pain

"Hopefully the pathfinding AI will..." No, that's not how you want to start any sentence in an ETW siege battle.

Things to expect on a SpiffingBrit video: 1 - Horribly broken EXPLOITS; 2 - Tea (more specifically, Yorkshire Tea); 3 - *MERCILESS DUNKING ON THE FRENCH.*

@bushit123456

Жыл бұрын

Was there exploits?

@dimitriofthedon3917

Жыл бұрын

Yorkshire tea is WEAK

@hiroshell7973

Жыл бұрын

So is Russian firewalls.

@pamelasmith4230

Жыл бұрын

@@dimitriofthedon3917 Then you have chosen death

@actuallyKriminell

Жыл бұрын

Every european dunks of the french. Even the french themselves

Spiffing Brit is using the tactics he used in the Yugoslav-Wars

@MrJuancazzzz

2 жыл бұрын

@Hayden Moore Spiffidan Britosević

Aaaah yes, the city of lights, the beautiful Paris, and the two barracks that compose it. Splendid

@scintillam_dei

2 жыл бұрын

LOL For Advance Wars 2, I did a map of the world where a pixel represented a lot.

@solomonaerospace5932

Жыл бұрын

I think it is like a fort outside the city (maybe)?

@legionnaire4336

Жыл бұрын

@@solomonaerospace5932 It is

@LordVader1094

11 ай бұрын

@@solomonaerospace5932 Correct, Paris is in the background off the map

@bandenere7774

3 ай бұрын

@@solomonaerospace5932 correct. They are meant to be the fortress guarding the city.

When you learn that artillery's different types of ammo has a "penalty" that can be off-set by holding alt when targetting and then targetting the ground about 1/3 of a unit's width to the side or behind to increase their accuracy, you will become a military strategic mastermind.

"And the Welsh can have absolutely nothing as always" I'll be damned if that didnt make me laugh exceptionally loud.

@dionphillips4573

Жыл бұрын

That one hit home and couldn't help but laugh😂

It's called "line battle" not "standing in front of someone battle" So getting shot in the back is their own fault

@brijekavervix7340

2 жыл бұрын

Wouldn't it be Spiff's fault for putting them there?

@stoat7

2 жыл бұрын

@@brijekavervix7340 psshhhh!

@danielharvison7510

2 жыл бұрын

@@brijekavervix7340 "The management accepts no responsibility for the behaviour of patrons. You stand in front of dangerous stuff, you gets the shots in the back!" "Also, the management is always right!"

@brijekavervix7340

2 жыл бұрын

@@danielharvison7510 remind me never to seek employment at Spiffco :P

@Gormathius

2 жыл бұрын

@@brijekavervix7340 Of course, there's no point seeking employment at Spiffco, at Spiffco employment will always find you!

I just realised he did exactly what they did back then. Don't help the Americans and build a fantastic navy and make money out of it 🤣. Always enjoy and love Spiffs vids

@argentandroid5732

2 жыл бұрын

Personally, I think the American Revolution was a mistake. They should have appointed a representative of the crown as a figurehead and tricked the English into thinking they still had power over them like the Canadians.

@AtheistIII

2 жыл бұрын

and ordering his cavalry into a hopeless charge against an entrenched enemy

@IKFtheGoat

2 жыл бұрын

@@argentandroid5732 No

@RavenholdIV

2 жыл бұрын

His loss. If I remember correctly, doing some fighting helping the colonies would make them give all their territory to you as a reward.

@treky4life488

2 жыл бұрын

@@argentandroid5732 Great Britain had to contend with France and Spain still so the revolting colonies just needed to wage a war of attrition and hold out. Britain needed tax money to pay for the French and Indian War so not sending Britain money and making it spend more money to put down the rebellion all while still being in an arms race.

"And if you disagree with me, you're just wrong" - most of the internet nowadays

@gen169

2 жыл бұрын

-twitter

@excalligator5529

2 жыл бұрын

Watch somebody say you’re wrong in a few hours

@k3nzxc584

2 жыл бұрын

@@excalligator5529 I was waiting for someone to say it

@ywsaxzsidmzxqwdsx1342

2 жыл бұрын

@@k3nzxc584 wrong

@AbhijayAgarwal

2 жыл бұрын

@@k3nzxc584 Checkmate, liberal. You're wrong

After the tea rant I didn't think Spiff could get any more British but then he went and literally invaded France

"Not only did I follow orders, I created some of my own along the way." -Spiffing Brit revealing his war criminal status to the masses

@sneezingidiot301

Жыл бұрын

It was one of the early attempts at the infinite money exploits before complications are to be expected

"Come on Mortar crews, the enemy is right there!" "..is someone going to tell him that these are howitzers, not mortars?" "He just shot a man in the back for spilling tea." "Right, Mortars were are, then."

@broccoliface4501

2 жыл бұрын

Pretty sure they were inside the minimum range no? I know mortars have one, but I can't remember if howitzers did as well. It's been a long time.

@keoken9078

2 жыл бұрын

@@broccoliface4501 they have

@umjackd

2 жыл бұрын

Direct fire artillery would have been fine for close range too, when he could have used another war crime of canister shot at close range. But hey. I can just feel all the military history commenters coming though.

@danielharvison7510

2 жыл бұрын

@@broccoliface4501 Just tip the damn things forward a bit. It'll work out!

@WildBluntHickok

2 жыл бұрын

Can I just say the guy who got shot in the back for spilling tea got what he deserved.

Spiff: "We will be growing..." Us: "Tea!" Spiff: "Sugar!" Us: "uwotm8?!"

@Karagianis

2 жыл бұрын

Nah, India is where the tea is. Carribean is for Sugar, to put in the tea. :)

@jojomaster7675

2 жыл бұрын

@@Karagianis And to make biscuits with better flavour :)

me, a french watcher: awesome, a new spiff video! spiff, barely a minute in: let's cyberbully the AI and most importantly the french me: **sweats nervously**

"The best weapon, is war crimes" The spiffing brit, 2021

@Gibby34340

2 жыл бұрын

"It's only illegal if you're caught" -Me, too often

@TyrDrum

2 жыл бұрын

"War crimes are what we call being creative."

“Quebec has rebelled”. every Canadian has now gotten happier

@danielharvison7510

2 жыл бұрын

Wait...Canadian, French Canadian, or some combination thereof?

@coreystockdale6287

2 жыл бұрын

I mean if they wanna leave then we are gonna be outta maple syrup quite quickly

@Gibby34340

2 жыл бұрын

I've heard that Quebec is the Chicago of Canada, is that true? You can't walk down the street without getting mugged or shot?

@danielharvison7510

2 жыл бұрын

@@Gibby34340 I'd heard the opposite, actually. Quebec's supposed to be the nice neighbourhood there or something.

@toxicsledgevlogs6477

2 жыл бұрын

@@Gibby34340 you’re thinking of Manitoba

“Now let’s drive into this sausage” The Spiffing Brit 2021

@SportyMabamba

Жыл бұрын

Dive*

"It's an earlier Total War game, the pathfinding AI wasn't exactly the best". It hasn't exactly gotten better either Spiffing.

@jaywerner8415

2 жыл бұрын

Truely a shamefull display that is.

@CodyLundberg

Жыл бұрын

It was literally better BEFORE ETW, it has gotten worse over the years, not better. "All the french look the same because it is an earlier TW game", unit diversity was also better BEFORE ETW and has gotten worse.

Never thought I'd see the day Spiff covers one of my fave games of all time

@afatcatfromsweden

2 жыл бұрын

And i never thought i’d live to see spiff do anything but hoi 4 timelapses but we’ve both been proven wrong. Spiff likes proving prople wrong :)

@lukavrecar2586

2 жыл бұрын

@@afatcatfromsweden ah yes, the one where you don't need to defeat the french, they surrender no matter what

@mahieuwim

2 жыл бұрын

...badly.

@legateexpendable9308

2 жыл бұрын

@@afatcatfromsweden he's long overdue for his next collab with Taureor

@kamyarazarmehri5120

2 жыл бұрын

@@legateexpendable9308 ahh, I see you're an og as well😂

This video is just a compilation of Spiff severely overestimating the effectiveness of artillery in ETW lol.

@jaywerner8415

2 жыл бұрын

Actully, if you use howitzers instead of mortors and manually target the ground instead of the unit (Cus the firing AI aims for hte SIDE of the unit not hte CENTER), you can commit War Crimes by the Hundreds.

It’s true that with Quicklime: Lime waits for no man…

When I clicked on this video I was not expecting an exact reenactment of history, with absolutely no difference.

"Sweden has eaten all of Denmark" I see no problem here.

For an added chaotic experience in this game.. The Darthmod makes artillery even more evil... :D (ohh,, and all the effects are way cooler as well)

Imagine playing ETW without putting your units in one big line so more can shoot at the same time smh

Spiff: "I have absolutely no interest in helping the Americans!" Me: "He sounds like a man Americans would vote for!"

@Mr-Trox

2 жыл бұрын

C'mon man!

@callmeravenlee1972

2 жыл бұрын

I hate that you’re not wrong

@mranderson718

2 жыл бұрын

My country was created because rich men didn’t want to pay single digit percent taxes. What do you expect from us?

@tanjeeschuan4999

2 жыл бұрын

@@mranderson718 your country rebelled due to not wanting to be taxed without representation.

@jojomaster7675

2 жыл бұрын

@@tanjeeschuan4999 _You know there's a tax for speaking like that, right?_

I love when Spiff makes new videos, I could listen to him talk for hours.

The Spiffing Brit: "Time to invade Spain" ***sieges Lisbon***

@alexandernyberg8668

2 жыл бұрын

That feeling when you and the bois commit warcrimes in the wrong country

@VRDejaVu

2 жыл бұрын

@@alexandernyberg8668 And there is no bigger crime, at least in the Portuguese people eyes, than mistake them for any other country, specially Spain. Thats why my prefered way to annoy the Portuguese is just saying this "Portugal? Ohh yes, the Spanish reagion that speaks brazilian!"

Me: (drinking coffee) Spiffing: *coffee is the most horrendous thing known to man* Me: (👀)☕👌

This reminds me of a silly run I did in Ultimate General Civil War where I played as the CSA, cheated myself an infinite number of 20 pounder Parrott guns, and then comprised almost 1/3 of my entire army with them under generals who were exceedingly good at making artillery accurate. The grapeshot barrage these things could do when clustered up just behind infantry in forts was absolutely legendary, and they could be just far enough back that they were very unlikely to actually get targeted for counterbattery fire.

Yay, an older Total War game! I'm hoping we get another video on Medieval 2 Total War sometime detailing the Merchant Stacking exploit. If Moors (or anyone, but they start the closest) walk south from Marrakech towards Timbuktu and capture it, there are like 4 or 5 gold mines there. Then you stick a soldier on top of the mine and then stack up to 20 merchants inside that military unit. All of the merchants will now be trading that gold, when normally you should only be able to trade with 1 merchant.

I've always preferred the way things reflect onto water in Empire's campaign map compared to the ever increasingly more realistic campaign map in later games. It looks like a toy map.

"using war crimes to break the game." Now THAT'S what I call demonetization

That crashing thing is apparently to do with having the forts in the map, lots and lots of not so tiny pixels just waiting to be hit by massed artillery, Darthmod can get rid of fort battles so it doesn't crash so often (>_

Imagine the enemy forces are even able to reach your lines when you have Superior cannons in Shogun 2

I thought war crimes were just Spiff's normal strategy in these games.

@strogonoffcore

2 жыл бұрын

and they are, but they always deserve recognition

My favorite line in this video will forever be, “there’s the man in his pajamas banging on the drums and he’s ready to cause some chaos”

4:06 in the argument between coffee and tea I say “why are you talking about tea and coffee? Hot chocolate cannot be trumped by either”

@robertnett9793

2 жыл бұрын

You are one of those guys, who just wanna see the world burn. Amirite?

@Gormathius

2 жыл бұрын

Milkshake is even more powerful. Especially the one from McDonald's which can be used as a makeshift club.

0:54 I would expect nothing less from a proud British citizen!

"There is no more serious crime than unnecessary war" - Beorge W. Gush

@PiotrDzialak

2 жыл бұрын

lol, good hint. I give a lecture about him on Monday and almost have mist that one.

This entire video made me think of one thing in particular: YOU KNOW WHAT MAKES ME A GOOD DEMOMAN?

You know it's a top-tier episode when war crimes are explicitly stated as the goal within the first 3 minutes of the video.

Man I’ve been binging your channel for the last few weeks since I discovered it.

"Why are the Spanish declaring war on me?" Spiff, could it be the war crimes?

“You violated the Geneva Convention 192 times” said charge for international war crimes Spitting Brett “only 192 that’s really low”

I was wondering why, of all the total war games, he hadn't done the one that literally had the British Empire in it. Now he has, so I can die happy.

me a stellaris player:sees the word war crimes LAUGHS IN SITH LORD

@talonator8244

2 жыл бұрын

Unlimited planet destroying power!!

Pretty sure if you mixed some regular cannons in with the howitzers and use grape shot you never have to worry about the ai getting close

Remember, it's not a war crime if you win the war and declare it an "extreme but necessary tactic".

"This should be an absolute wa-" Spiff: "-lk in the park" Me: "-arcrime"

@baconknightproductions8297

2 жыл бұрын

waarcrime

I have a profound love for this perfectly balanced, not in anyway buggy game. May you commit warcrimes as you swim in your vault of gold coins

Spiff is just letting us know that if England ignored all of the Americas and focused on making profit, the future would have turned out a lot differently.

@DDCRExposed

2 жыл бұрын

@Deborah Ajao Maybe they did??? I'm bad with history. 🤷‍♂️ I'm probably thinking more about the American Revolution.

@lesdodoclips3915

2 жыл бұрын

They absolutely did. The British empire only got larger, and much much richer, after the loss of America.

Love this game, glad you’re finally doing a video on it!

Thanks to you , I reinstalled this game and followed your video. It was really refreshing to play game your way.

In today's episode of, "you can't violate the Geneva Convention if it doesn't exist yet..."

"I don't know how to use cavalry" -every empire/napoleon total war player

Oh my giddy aunt, finally! I was waiting for an Empire TW Spiff video for ages!

"coffee is the most horrendous beverage known to man" well said ol' chap

@totallynothatguy1698

2 жыл бұрын

THE COFFEE REBELLION IS AFOOT! I DEMAND RIGHTS AND A UNION IN SPIFFCO FOR COFFEE-DRINKERS!

@The_Keeper

2 жыл бұрын

@@totallynothatguy1698 Denied!

@paulfrancistorres7144

2 жыл бұрын

@@The_Keeper ALRIGHT, COFFEE COMRADES, WE’RE TAKING UP ARMS! END THE TEA MONOPOLY! URAAAAAA!

@SardonicSoul

2 жыл бұрын

@@paulfrancistorres7144 For the drink, of the gods! Lets drive out these tea bags! For coffee!!

@paulfrancistorres7144

2 жыл бұрын

@@SardonicSoul Coffee drinkers of the world, UNITE! RISE UP! AGAINST THE TEA OVERLORDS! FIGHT FOR YOUR FREEDOM! CHAAAARRRRGE!

"Chemical Gas" - ahh yeah. The weaponry of the future!

@strogonoffcore

2 жыл бұрын

hmmm yes can't wait to feel the sweet smell of mustard gas, and then feel my organs melting

They're called 'Line' infantry for a reason, you know. Mortars can fire over the infantry in front of them, so get a nice line of (tadaa!) line infantry, with your mortars behind them and you've got an invincible army.

Great timing! Was just watching one of your community EU4 streams. Always enjoy your videos.

I you dropped the tea tax then Americans never throw tea into the harbor, they never start drinking coffee as an up ours to England. You hold incredible power.

@mostevil1082

2 жыл бұрын

Dropping the tax is exactly why they threw it in the harbour. It was smugglers upset at the losses that legal tea imports caused.

An alternate timeline where Sir Issac Newton only focused his mind on chemical weaponry

@tutunaku

Жыл бұрын

One where he focused on alchemy. He tried to make gold but only ended up with horribly caustic chemicals

A well placed quicklime shot was the most satisfying thing to do in this game

You missed a golden oppotunity: empire Total War(crime). So much better *pats own back*

I remember specifically doing this in Napoleon TW, where I had 3 max ranked and max upgraded mortars that would average something like ~1600 kills each battle between the 3 of them. I don't know why exactly, but the mortars in Napoleon are like.... absolutely busted. You somehow have these cannons that can literally shoot all the way across the map with basically 100% accuracy and pretty much just straight rout whatever they hit as they kill 80% of the unit with one shot. And then you protect them with a combination of sharpshooters (who have significantly higher range and accuracy than any other infantry unit) and smaller cannons set on shrapnel shot, to kill whatever smaller remnants actually go after you. Though I still find the Shogun 2 "spam artillery ships and kill the entire enemy fort with 1 off-shore volley" strat to be the most effective overall TW strategy in existence, but it only works on coastal castles. Basically, if you have a completely max size navy (or multiple) supporting/blockading a coastal city, and you set it to max radius instead of focus fire, it'll fire something like 100 artillery shells across the entire castle, killing about 90% of the defenders without you even having to get within range. And the AI will never leave the castle, so... it's just guaranteed to work every single time. It's just a shame it only works on like 1/12th of the territories in the game because even half the coastal ones have the castle too far inland for a navy to get within range of them.

you have made me buy a countless amount of games spiff, and when you play them yourself they arent that awesome that you make them look

@bensoncheung2801

2 жыл бұрын

You'd need him to comment over your gameplay for it to actually be awesome.

So, the moral of the story is - tea and cannons are the best combination

Ahh yes, I needed some enjoyment thru the exploits of war crimes and atrocities. Thank you Sir Spif

1:29 I like how phallic the mouse pointer is.

But I thought warcrimes were how you broke every game, including a few games that don't even involve warfare!? What's next, a video called "Spiffing Brit loves Tea and the Queen?"

You make world domination sound so lovely

Just discovered this channel! Bloody brilliant!

I love how the game says: "Great Britain (You)" I wonder if Spiff shouted something like: "I AM (YOUR) GREAT BRITAIN!" and then laughed maniacally.

You will never speed up battle when using the Superior artillery in Shogun 2

I love warcrimes!

@robertpaulson5095

2 жыл бұрын

The evilest war crime is selling your enemies coffee during the war. They die slowly and painfully😈

A spiff video on my birthday ? Well thank you so much !

"...just have to be in a similar post code to the enemy" Close only counts for horseshoes and hand grenades. And weapons of mass destruction.

“We’re going to invade the Caribbean?” Wouldn’t that make you a PIRATE of the Caribbean

I love how he says all of these terrible things in such a fancy voice! 😂

@laisphinto6372

10 ай бұрын

british empire in a nutshell

around 6:00 "Men .... AIM and SHOOTY-SHOOT" I love how he has historical verified commands and orders down to a tea. Very educational.

The bomb shell for mortars is even more OP than the carcass shell, its absurd When I would play multiplayer with my friends back in 2015, I would occasionally run an entire army of just mortars and bomb whatever they fielded out of existence

Spiff, you may want to install DarthMod for Empire to make the game a little less unstable and less ugly. It also improved the AI and effectiveness of each troop type in their specified roles. Most of the lag you get is from old particle effects that most likely expect a physical pixel shader. Lots of Mods fix this issue. Most atrocious of this are the fires from fort walls.

Ah warcrimes, just my cup of tea

I swear spiff has made me into pavlov's dog at this point, every time i make a cup of tea i put on one of his videos

Tea is better, than coffee? You sir, have no idea or taste for the lovely, wonderfull drink of the gods.

Having played thousands of hours of Total War. 1000 in Empire specifically. I can say that while this strat looks fun and exploitative it is far more efficient to use round shot and cannister to wipe out the enemy. Especially since regular cannons have more range than indirect fire. And while it is tempting, you dont really want to conquer any of the major European powers until the end. Much better to steal their expensive fleets and sell them. Naval warfare is where the real exploits are in Empire. Something I havent quite been able to pull off in Napoleon.

@lesdodoclips3915

2 жыл бұрын

It’s all about canister shots. Unlimited ammo, incredibly powerful, greater range than line infantry.

@kellyxxdegroot

2 жыл бұрын

I was literally searching the comments for someone who was gonna mention the fact that you can just declare war on the big naval powers, keep surrendering their fleets no matter how large with a single 5th rate (literally the best and most versatile ship, every seafaring nation starts with them so stealing those ships only increases profits and prevents other powers from even accessing the sea with any of their fleets) and gain an enormous amount of money from it I also always delete every militia/melee unit in my army, leaving me with a way more efficient and cheaper professional army A strong economy is unbeatable in the end :)

I think someone needs to make sure spiffs tea is okay, he sounded a bit "too" british.

Gotta love Spiff running his cavalry into enemies and not taking them out for more charges 🤣

spiffing Brit loves war crimes, he would adore war hammer 40k

as a french viewer i don't know if I have to feel offended or not

@Brazeniah

2 жыл бұрын

As a hybrid French/English viewer, I say drink a cup of tea and munch on a baguette

@stefansmiljanic1697

2 жыл бұрын

@@Brazeniah i tryed and its quite bad

Spiffing Brit can you do a video on Kerbal space program it’s a space program game

Honestly spiff sounds like a complete and utter maniac